whitefish bay, wisconsin. asked to remove a plastic jar from a dog's head. little murphy got his head stuck in the cookie jar after trying to get the last milk bone. the owners tried but couldn't, the bat was closed so owners tried the police station. >> we got it. [cheering] >> as you can see, the officers read murphy from the jar leaving him with a little scratch and maybe a lesson on impulse control. we have a new show debuting here on fox former republican national committee chair lauren, 9:00 p.m. eastern here on fox news. ♪

>> hello, i am judge merchan jeanine pirro along with jessica e watters, kayleigh mcenany and greg gutfeld. it's 5:00 in new york city and this is the five. ♪ s the five. >> ♪ ♪in it's the-- chainsaw massacre. elon musk held a golden chain site given to him by the argentinian president. it's already saved taxpayers billions.. the world's richest man acting cool and casual as he dismantled his democratic critics protesting his every move. >> this is the chainsaw for bureaucracy.re >> it just showsau they lack empathy for the average taxpayer. and they say a million dollarsa

doesn't matter. i think itll mattersio a lot.ut people wil.l ask me how can you find a waste it's like being in a room and the wall and roof and floor are all targets. you could go in any direction there. >> the liberal media so eagerly triggered by the sight of chainsaw mosque. >> you unleash somebody who has some weird fantasy in front of everybody to bs e popular. just does whatever he wantswi without anthy oversight. that is anti-american and reckless. >> it was absurd but also of flecks of a man who has absolutely no idea what he's doing. >> you live it bs y the chainsaw and die by the chainsaw.

>> they are treating firings like a game, a show even. creating mediums and throwing celebrations. and dancing unprofessional i graves. and president trump is sticking with hist high iq doge team. >> elon musk is doing a great job and they say who are these people we call them the doge guys. they're generally young people with extremely high iq who areel very good with computers andwi were goingth to fort knox do wee still have t whatever it is tons of gold and going to fort knox i know you hear about it you can'o get in or even see it. nobody sees it. the places dry. would that be terrible?

and malcontents are going thatsa elon musk has noyi oversight. it's anti-american, raw the guy you took down twitter by 20% and is still doing well for and congress doesn't in any oversight. >> he's done more for chainsaw than they have done with their own powers for decades. a the chainsaw was a gift it would be rude not to brandish it the h guy fromim argentina who used it well and saved his own country from bankruptcy. e thetina should mak chainsaw the national bird we are $36 trillion in the hole anh you hear democrats talk about needing a scalpel.ed like a they think it's a clever analogy. when is the last time you heard a democrat use a scalpel in anything besides their own face.

a serious debt crisis we are in. democrats haven't balanced thev' budget in 25 years. i do worry about elon musk though. you know how these stores have clauses in their contract where they're not allowed to go skiing. they are ridin thag a motorcyclr playing pickup basketball it's because they get her in lose everything. elon musk's board of directors should not allow him to be juggling a chainsaw we are in a recession if he castrate some, self othr something the world population will plummet. and he's got the shades the chain and the chainsaw. we see how effective it was with the mcdonald's and the trash t truck. of these things arrucke powerfu. he's holding an avocado it's just not the same thing.

>> james carvel and van jonesil are critical of this and he said democrats sit back and the republican collapses on the way. d elon muskrump an are happsmy and the democrats ar justat miserable. >> you don'tjust feel miserablea a tough moment.mo it's toughme to navigate what tm 2.0 looks like what they're referring to is a huge drop and they were upset about having musk have a prominent role his approval rating is down 5-7 points across the big polls and underwater and managing thek' economy which is what handed him the presidency. and thenan in terms of how the public is feeling not onlyhose reflected in those numbers. you see th e town halls going on last night.

people were booing and, calling concerned about everything from spending cuts to that donald trump is becoming a tyrantor.. that guy tony balderson is a trump plus 18 district in ohiouv saying trump executive orders are getting out of control. they are hearing from the p ubamerican public what is goingn from the oval office to cpac which is pam bondi being there seems like to politicize asian of the office to say the least is not what the american publicr wantedic.d. they wanted somebody to get the economy back on tracd it hasn't happened.t vi they wanted a different vision of getting illegal immigrants. people who convicted opeopf cris want to kicked out not just picking up anybody who speaksin spanish. that's what james is saying and i think it's good strategy. le t it happen. >> no your eyebrows for road win

not just throwing everyone whope speaks spanish. >> the whole point oakf this administration is that we agree that america needed change and need i t now we are willing to a accept pickups. the hiccups don't costcct so li. it's not like bail reform wherer hey, wefe will do this and we break a few eggs. when you guys break eggs people die and it's another light and ridiculous moment the action movie we are living in insensitive or heartless you've wandered into the wrong movie you probably wanted to see the notebook four. 40ip years ago it used to be tht t was stiff and easilyde offended and the left was hip and edgy it's completely shifted

and the democratic party is a giant-sized version of the view if that's possible and you seeop ane?y action at least on the vio there is joy and what a joy itt is. but the democrats it'sis allc pa misery and i hope for more and they have cnn race c thing facenn he and kelly does. the issue and that stuff doesn't work anymore and he is racist. and he is fascist and acting a like a king.he's transphobic or hitler, it doesn't resonate to the public y because they got burned by it. the arguments that depend onor those worddss atrophied or worsh the media vessels have been cauterized. it use butd to be outrage and i

show up on twitter and go to ak blog andan shoot its way up to "the new york times" or "the washington post". and thatat vessel has been cauterized. nobody cares not what's on "the daily beast" or meteorite. r trusts it. o it's funny and optimistic if the democrats remove it would be morose and depressing you would call it the gym acosta's story. >> it's all over the. >> all over elon musk's site. and it don't you think it's ridiculous for the democrats to come sayth it's four weeks in te tteconomy is in better. four weeks andur eggs having coe

down. how ridiculous i s that?ss >> totally ridiculous. you pointed toic an anecdotal town hall let's get in the polling. fowler and rasmussen have over 50%. recentm ov cnn poll the most por trump agenda item accomplished is immigration. 55% said he has gone either just the right amount are not farno enough. also i am a nerd i spend my fridays reading crosstabs. people who feel there is an attack on democracy that number was 56% in 2021 now it's much less in 2023 now 45%. so a threat to democracy language the lefs t is using. biden was a bigger threat to democracy and while on the note of cnn. they said what experience youri haveen. yo?u worked for the john edwards campaign. we never had as president

edwards. you worked. for the hillary clinton campaign never ha d that. h and first private-sector company to get a man in space helping quadriplegic people to walk i will take elon musk over anybody else there. >> digging in the crosstabs. >> i don't even know what one of those is. and up next canada better watch out as president trump is b responding teto justin trudeau squealing like a schoolgirlue after winninalg a big hockey ga. ♪ innovation in health care means nothing if no one can afford it. ♪ at evernorth, we're helping to unlock barriers.

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♪ >> mr. president, can you hear me? >> president trump: i can. you guys are really talented. i have great respect for hockey players, i lover hockey. your skill is crazy. >> president donald trump giving team usa a pep talk before the grudge match against canada. unfortunately it was a heartbreaking loss for the red, white, and blue with canada coming out on top in a 3-2 overtime nail-biter win, as the four nations face off championship game. of course, america's future 51st governor, that's justin trudeau, was squealing with delight. he posted this on x, "you can't take our country and you can't take our game, but i guess you can take him as prime minister, because he's having to step

down." president trump, ever the counter punch, fired back. >> president trump: the second game could have gone either way. eous isn't a loser, always has been. he's just a guy that really doesn't -- i think he's done a very bad job for canada. taken a radical left and he'll lose the election it looks like pretty big. >> nice candor. surprisingly some canadiens are cheering for the other side. check out what jasmine said. >> the fact that i'm rooting for canada and i'm rooting for mexico a lot is really wild but they are really the ones that are speak truth to power right now. they can see what it is and they are like we're not messing with this crazy machine from mar-a-lago and calling them thugs. >> she's rooting for canada. >> she's a congresswoman?

>> yes. >> isn't that incredible. i wish she were a little more clever or surprising. she's like a retread of previous lefty tantrum throwers. i think i'll just hang up and call back and maybe i'll get a better person at the call center. you know what i mean? you've been there, it's like, oh, this is bad. this is bad. it's funny, to see trudeau dunk on america, and i get it, you know. we've been dunking on him so give him a little bit of pleasure, but he is unemployed. i mean, his team doesn't want him anymore. he's like a guy who was cut from the squad but he still walks around campus in his letterman jacket hoping people still think he's on the team, and then he goes home. he'll have to go home and basically surf linked in for hosting gigs at the canadian version of applebee's if there is one. i don't know. >> greg: and also, america really doesn't care. hockey is great.

we love hockey. but hockey is canada's life's blood. for us it's kind of what we watch if we're stuck in an airport in buffalo. it's popular but so is woodworking and pickle ball. we have too many things going on, and canada, they have got nothing going on. all they have is hockey and wondering, i don't know, what justin bieber is doing. >> unless you get the stanley cup like we do down with the tampa bay lightning and then you're paying attention and they also have good food. jesse, justin trudeau, i just want to play one of his saddest moments and it wasn't the moment when he stepped aside. >> a few weeks ago the united states voted for a second time to not elect its first woman president. i want you to know that i am and always will be a proud feminist. >> greg: he's the best. what the puck, trudeau, what the f? trump has done the impossible. he's made us care about hockey.

>> no one cares about hockey, okay? >> jesse: i could have played and i would have been gray. i decided to play basketball instead. i forgot i was white. it was a bad decision. but, when it's down to statehood i'm into it. i only watch playoff hockey or baseball in the postseason. you don't even have to watch the whole season. it's really that boring, but playoff hockey is good. is this competitive, think about what trump has done. everything is so competitive. can you imagine mexico versus the united states in the world cup, which we're hosting? the cartels are going to shoot the mexican captain if they lose. or ukraine versus the united states at the winter olympics. in curling. it's going to be sick. are we going to invite russia back into the olympic fold? who know, but if we do it will be insane. i'm all in, kind of. [laughter] >> kind of. jessica, i feel like, yes, you

won the battle, you won a hockey game but you lost the war. sky news called him the golden boy who now has 22% approval ratings. >> obviously, justin trudeau has not had a great few professional months but i feel like this is the energy that trump likes. this is fun for him. he respects it more than just standing up there and making speeches that just play to your base. he's like, already, let's go. let's counterpunch, and i feel like the 51st state thing is obviously ridiculous. no offense to kevin o'leary, but i think this is the vibe that he prefers and if he could go around the world dealing with world leaders in this way, that would be better than the traditional kind of diplomacy that doesn't really fit his personality. i think what she was talking about is being on the side of people who don't want these tariffs. the tariffs are wildly unpopular. almost as unpopular as pardoning januarsixers, which is the number one most unpopular thing

that donald trump did. and that's really what's at play here with canada and mexico, and he needs to be careful. it will really hurt the american consumer. >> judge, without question, president trump has kind of the magic touch. i mean, my mom, yes, she watches the stanley cup, goes for the great food at the hockey games but she tuned into a hockey match for the first time last night. >> jeanine: president trump has this ability to get us fired up with just about everything and then he makes us feel like this is the greatest thing that america has ever done and we should all be behind it but let me congress ability this congresswoman jasmine crockett. i said a couple of days ago we'll be watching her very carefully. you have a woman openly supporting other countries against the united states, and, you know, to me, that doesn't align with her obligations and her interests as being a representative of congress. and to me, tariffs, as long as they are reciprocal, are fair tariffs. you've got an argument but this

woman is beyond the pale. but i thought what it was like to receive the call from president trump before the hock game, and i said, joe biden and kamala harris would never have done that so i try to put together what kamala harris would have said to that hockey team, had she won and not donald trump. this is kamala harris. let's talk about the significance of the passing of the puck. in hockey, as in life it's important that we pass the puck. and just as time passes so does the puck. without the pass sang of the puck we would all be alone with a stick on the ice. hockey is not just about the time that's passed but what do you with the puck while the time is passing. >> was that chat -- >> jeanine: i did. >> that's spot on, with judge jeanine. president trump just demolished a liberal governor right to his face for de vying his new

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♪ >> see you in court. president trump just laid the smackdown on janet mills and right to her face for defying his executive order preventing transathletes from competing in girls and women's sports. watch. >> i understand maine -- is maine here, the governor of maine? >> president trump: are you not going to comply with it? >> i'm complying with state and federal laws. >> president trump: we're the federal law. you better do it because you're not going to get any federal funding at all if you don't. by the way, your population, even though it's somewhat

liberal, i did very well there, your population doesn't want men playing in women's sports so you better comply because otherwise you're not getting any federal funding. >> see you in court. >> president trump: good, i look forward to it that should be a real easy one and enjoy your life after being governor because i don't think you'll be in elected politics. >> just hours after that dust-up the department of education announced a new title 9 investigation into maine over the girls and sports issue. it could result in maine losing $250 million in annual federal funding. it funny, you go to a nice luncheon with a bunch of other governors and bam, right in the face. >> jeanine: it shouldn't have been a surprise because joe biden tried to change title 9 and add the transgendered identity as being a basis for discrimination, and so a federal judge has since vacated that and

the president has issued an executive order. and this should not be a surprise to any democrat because the country, in incredible numbers, i don't know what the stats are, but the country is against men in women's sports. everybody knows that a transgender is at a physical advantage over girls. okay? if you're playing in a girl's sport. so, you're going to jeopardized 2,00050 million in federal funding and she's going to say, i'm following federal and state law, who cares what the state law says, the federal law has supremacy on this issue, it's federal money, and she's going to lose and it's stupid of her as far as i'm concern to say, well, you know, the federal law supports it, no, it doesn't. >> it remains a poor state losing $250 million over something like this just seems dumb. >> we'll see how it plays out. i took that it governor mills was also talking about the anti-discrimination laws that exist and that she will have to

abide by them. we'll see. it was my expectation that this would happen immediately, and there would be funding on the table, and it will play out. but the problem with some of these executive orders as it pertains to gender is that gender is a lot more complicated than they would have you believe. one of trump's lawyers was in court with this federal judge, and said, you know, there are men and there are women. it's just about male and female and the judge said that's biologically incorrect. there are 30 examples of the types of intersects people. >> what is that? >> you have foot-both. >> you have both? >> it's such a rare exception it doesn't even -- >> jeanine: it's like the transgenders are trying to compete. it's like 1%. so why force girls across this country -- >> i'm not trying to. >> jeanine: be in their bathroom.

it's legal, wrong, and the public doesn't want it. >> that's not what would you be -- illegal doesn't mean -- >> jeanine: 2,000 years, men an women and now we have three, four, 20. >> 30? >> the point is you can't just make a generalized sweeping law that would exclude people who do exist. you have to make sure that there is some place for them. i'm not asking about -- >> women. >> i have never said that i thought transgender women should play in women's sports. i'm saying some of these issues are more complicated than people think and they show up in court. >> let's get some of the other genders in here. >> greg: first, the idea of gender being fluid and not male-female was a sweeping decision made by politicians without any science but first i want to talk about that amazing moment with the governors. with the trump presidency, every morning is like the day after halloween.

i wake up and i have a big bag of candy waiting for me an i have to slow down because i'm going to throw up before breakfast. i can't stop. what that does is it forces the discussion beyond -- i hate to ooze the phrase, low bearing phrase transphobics. generally you would go, men saying that they are women should not be in women's sports, that's transphobic, and then everybody goes, better shut down. now you go, no, no, no, no. you have to explain to me why, you have to tell me why. that that should be allowed. then you can get into the argument, well, .0000000% who are intersectional. that's great. i would call that the tyranny of the minority. that you would change all of these rules for .00000% of the population. what about this exception? what about that? the maine governor is a typical

example of this old female progressive who puts men who say they are women above actual women. their compassion is gamed. they are terrified of not being virtuous. it's weird when i compare myself to her, i'm the feminist. i'm arguing on behalf of authentic safe spaces for women. safe spaces that she would willingly sacrifice because she doesn't want to appear as, in her world, transphobic. she's a coward. she's an absolute cower. i loved every minute of it. >> trump doesn't want to be a feminist. you're forcing him to be a feminist against his will. >> greg: i hate it. >> look, the left may find gender complicated but the american people do not. a "washington post" poll from 2023 found 34% think that biological men should be in women's sports. 34%, right? that's 2023. fast forward to trump's executive order on this.

63% approve according to marquette. so why is the left choosing to die on the hill of a 70-30 issue? go read the "new york times." i'm just going to quote two sentences, i shocked myself when i voted for trump. no one tell my family. i think i became radicalized, was the word she used, on the issue of men and will's sports. that ad says kamala represents they them. trump represents you. that was so compelling. die on the hill of this issue, janet mills, you walked into a brunch, you weren't expected to be called out. >> greg: he ate her brunch. >> that's good. >> fastest is up next. ♪ ♪ i can't get enough of your hey, i just got a text from my sister. you remember rick, her neighbor? sure, he's the 76-year-old guy who still runs marathons, right?

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♪ >> welcome back, it's time for the fast of the. first up, doge has found that missing gold from fort knox. it's been temporarily removed from the old office to be refinished, just days after elon musk's son pick his nose and appeared to have wiped his burgers on the historic piece of furniture. judge, you see him repulsed. >> if he came to my house and did that i would throw the furniture up. what happened to that resolute desk? you had -- who knows what else happened to that desk? take it out, do whatever you have to do. >> please defend the toddler picking his nose. >> yes, on my desk. >> this is quinn victoria gave thus in the 1980's and it's the desk that jfk jr. was crawling

through. i'm sure he left a few nuggets in there back in the day but trump keeps this police steep. i'm not surprised it's being refinished. >> greg, i know it's not poop, but -- >> greg: i'll make it about poop. first, i don't think it's real but i'm going to pretend it's real. i think must sac a terrible, terrible father. every dad teaches their kid if they are going to pick the nose you're going to eat it. bad way. you don't put it anywhere, you take care of your business. and, i don't blame trump for cleaning his snot. perhaps must shook be investigated to see if he's trying to take trump out in some kind of assassination plot but it reminds me of how nothing is the same after it gets soiled. you know, when i step in homeless poop, i throw those shoes out but not with job poop.

is that weird? what do you think about homeless poop? >> i've not given much thought to it but i'll think about defication on the way home and get back to you. >> the last administration it was buger sugar and this administration is just buger. >> up next, amazon's mgm studios is taking creative control of the iconic james bond franchise. the surge for a new 007 is on. jeff bezos recently asked who should be the next bond? i've got some ideas. greg could star in the man with the golden booster seat and jessie could star in another toupee. >> i believe his name is henry cadville, because he's british, handsome and looks like a spy. i agree.

i think he would be great, and greg had some ideas for the bond girls. he'll tell you about those. >> greg: i was thinking, do they have to be biological girls? 30 genders. is daniel greg no longer bond? >> he's no longer bond. >> greg: i know why, but anyway, should you have james bond. if it taken over by amazon he has to drive their truck. he needs to kill villains with packing tape and instead of martini shaking not stirred he should drink gatorade from a plastic bottle that he can pee into later. just like the amazon driver. >> i thought the elbow -- >> before he said at this time one thing i have in my notes, so i can make him transsense, number one, and number two, i love henry cavville, i think

he's great. plays dutton, he's very hot. >> is he in contention? >> jeanine: i don't know but i'm putting him in contention. >> skenlar. >> he's not hot. he's not hot. >> jeanine: you didn't see him in the african safari. he's very hot. >> i don't need to. >> the only one who could beat daniel greg and sean connery would be kash patel. in the front row. >> i don't know if that's real or not. >> catch patel for bond. >> that's your take? >> let's go. >> fan mail fridays is up next. ♪ i'm maya and these are my breasts. honestly, we've had a complicated relationship. ♪ i've tried sports bras,

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♪ ♪ >> greg: first one from cherry. hi, sheri, call me later. describe what your childhood bedroom looked like? this is fun. jessica, what did your childhood bedroom look like?

>> jesse: i was just thinking about this today, i was thinking about a new apartment we would move into and my sister an i had smaller bed rooms but we shared -- there was a spiral staircase, like through the middle and we each had a little door that went to the staircase. it was super cute. >> greg: like having a little fairy tale castle. >> a girl's space. >> greg: it must be nice being rich. >> what? because we had a landing to sit on. >> i just vividly remember evergreen carpet. the carpet was hunter greene but then we moved up and i got moved up and i had wooden floors and a chandelier. >> yes, beautiful lights. >> greg: wow, jesse, did you have a chandelier in your bedroom? >> jesse: no, her name was not chandelier. i had my trophy area, and then i had michael jordan framed, and

then i had my bunk bed and that's where i went for my buggers. >> greg: why did you have a bunk bed? >> for sleepovers. >> jeanine: what about the nights when you were alone. >> greg: you sit there in your bunk bed alone. >> no, that would be sick. >> jeanine: i just remember a twin bed and it was white wood and it had like these circles or something, as part of the headboard and i just remember i had like, because i used to take ballet and tap, and i used to do this thing with like a rope, and i hung it in the bedroom. it was like a cowboy thing and i saved it. i just remember that. >> a lasso. >> i had a twin bed as well. like, once every two months you rearrange your furniture. did you ever do that? oh, everything is different. >> that was the only control you had as a kid. >> your only control, and then, i had, i don't think i had much

of anything else. we were very poor growing up in san mateo. we only had two maids. >> greg: do i have time for another country? >> yes. >> greg: what was your favorite magazine to read when you were growing up. judge? >> jeanine: i don't know, was it 17? i read nancy drew books. forget magazines. >> greg: that's not magazines. >> jeanine: i know but i didn't read a lot of magazines. >> greg: i devoured magazines. what about you? >> jesse, you probably remember this it was like two letters, j something, and there was a number? i'm a millennial, so i'm sorry. it was really good. i swear i didn't make it up. i'll look it up. >> you know what the audience loves is when the panel stops and looks up something. [laughter] >> jesse.

>> 17 for sure. >> greg: i've got to go with mad, which was -- i'll go through all of mine, cartoons, which was a magazine of cartoons about cars. then i moved into cream, which was a rock 'n roll magazine which was great. and then there was national lampoon, which was amazing. do you guys remember dynamite? >> no. >> greg: that's what you got at school. i know i'm leaving something out. "tv guide", you know i saved all of my tv guides, i had stacks, because i would always do the cross words and i like -- i knew everything that was on every channel. >> you would never be sleeping in my bunk bed. >> greg: who would want to. all right. one more thing here's to getting better with age. here's to beating these two every thursday. help fuel today with boost high protein, complete nutrition you need,

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♪ ♪ it is time now for one more

thing, greg? looks tonight with got a banger of a show. tom, guy benson, and others. let's do this or not. classes discusses daily diary. >> this is a great little entry. great walk, dust gusted all of his business he served himself up on a cushion to me when i arrived he ran into another friend, chip heard that the dog on the block party most happy when another owner knows me and okay with us a is a level of excitement. [applause] cooks very cute too. art jesse question. >> mexican weddings, you know it when you see it. let's go to the tape at the newh dance move is called the helicopter.el it was growing great for aic while, like most things in mexico, it does not end well and i am return referring to thegood

terror for good by helicopter. that looks fun i'm going to try this weekend. quick stop troth emma. i let's just eat w waters epstein developments. >> you don't have anything new? [laughter] new quick survey earlier this week we talk about people abusing thg rules as they relate to those overhead bins on airplanes. thisd to fellow made a decisiont to interfere with your overhead space pretty set up a bag he used his body to carry all of his shirts on the airplane. once on the plane he shed his shirts like layers of a snake. okay? that is taking one for the team. he took off like 10 shirts. look at that. >> okay jessica? >> we have a very cute rogueahua chihuahua that was rescued after running down the freeway at 5:30 spotted dodging cars for as manr

as 10 miles come in a good samaritan who tried to grab him0 bu mt he hid under a small car s from the capture of a reunited with his family.ly. >> does he look i correct? >> i don't like chihuahuas but they're not a rat to progress they deafly are not rats and have lot rights. >> we will follow the show while out with a beaver. this is a massive beaver spotted in chicago's so south side in a loca tl nonprofit. some of the lady contenders the south size large marge. and lori have a foot. the beaver is sings karaoke as well as lori lightfoot. l fight the crime, lori it.d not do quick she is pretty heavy. >> that's one big beaver. >> ask him. >> alright, that a step for us folks, have a great night. ♪ hello