mudroom and the bathroom is much more the scene when multiple people die and the dogs died of something like carbon monoxide poisoning. it's not clear why they did not find it at the scene, probably the firemen, they have a device to look for carbon monoxide but it's not always accurate. the toxicology from the blood is going to be more accurate. >> laura: we are looking forward to seeing that. there's conflicting reports about the dog dead in the dog is alive and we are going to get the actual story in the coming days, which we are anxious to get. doctor, thank you. that's it for us tonight, make sure to follow me on social media. a lot of new material put up on instagram. remember, american now and forever. jesse is next. >> jesse: welcome to "jesse watters primetime". tonight... the prices at the grocery store are going up

because democracy is being taken away. >> jesse: democrats, dictatorship and d.o.g.e. >> we are in the middle of a totalitarian fascist coup in this country. >> the job is already incredibly difficult. some people say it's the hardest job in the white house. it was really hard. >> jesse: the binder is back. without her binder. >> sometimes i would like in bed and be like oh, my god what is going to happen today. >> i have some questions for you, are you going to change the county's policy that allows biological men and females locker rooms and bathrooms? >> jesse: happy dei thursday. >> on drums for kiddies. -- condoms -- >> jesse: plus... >> let me tell you something... ♪ ♪

>> jesse: it's official, foreign aid has been d.o.g.e. after john roberts of the supreme court ruled that trump has a right to freeze the money. usaid staff cleared out their tasks today and must says we've just saved $60 billion. d.o.g.e. found a 75 million-dollar contract for inclusive justice in columbia. 40 million for indigenous peoples and afro colombian empowerment. another 40 million for female empowerment in columbia. pretty sure this money is for cocaine. but don't worry, we are also going to give the caribbean 3 million for being gay and lesbian. you are and we want you to stay that way. we still have money left over for terrorists. >> are you aware that we are sending $40 million per week to the taliban? >> yes, sir. >> and you name other instances of foreign aid going to terrorist organizations?

>> we have assisted in somalia, there's been instances of the network in sudan. hamas, islamic jihad, hezbollah, syria. dozens of terror organizations have received indirect assistance from u.s. foreign aid. >> jesse: are we funding terrorists so we have something to do with our missiles? the media does not want anything cut, unless it's a circumcision. >> trump talked about all the stuff d.o.g.e. is cutting and all the stuff they are not cutting and it got weird. >> 20 million here, 30 million here for, you know, a little educational cost on something, circumcision, right? circumcision. [laughs] [applause] >> that long rambling response reminds me of circumcision because somebody really should have got that [bleep] had off.

>> jesse: d.o.g.e. has their brains so scrambled now the view is begging for deportation. >> the guy was not born in this country, it was born under apartheid in south africa, so has that mentality going on. he was pro-apartheid as i understand it. now i'm getting flack because i said that elon musk was proapartheid. i don't really know if he was. he grew up at that time when apartheid was in full bloom, before the great nelson mandela fix that. he was around at that time but weigh meet -- maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. he might have been a young guy so don't be suing me, you long. [laughs] >> they are allowed to say any lie they want but we have to be really strict. that's why this show is important. [applause] >> jesse: did joy behar just say back to africa? i don't think you can say that, can you? and i guess we finally found out where democrats stand on illegal immigration. support elon musk and keep ms13. they let millions of illegal

chinese, muslims and venezuelans into america but elon musk who has been a citizen for 22 years, he has to go. so what if he's going to colonize mars and build their electric cars, go back to africa. all of a sudden saving taxpayers money is treason. >> the prices at the grocery store are going up because democracy is being taken away. >> we are in the middle of a totalitarian fascist coup in this country. >> there should be a breaking news banner on cnn, msnbc all day long, we are in dictatorship right now. >> jesse: insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. democrats must be insane to think the dictator hoax is going to work, after losing every swing state with it. now they think big balls is going to peek into their tax returns. >> if we had president aoc, a liberal democrat president who brought in a bunch of her

friends and they brought their laptops and they started taking all the data and doing whatever they wanted to do, republicans would be in the streets, as well they should. this is no way to run a government, this is a dangerous precedent that's being said. >> jesse: where was van jones went trump's tax returns got leaked? that little liberal leaky john stole 400,000 of americans tax returns. 400,000, leaked them to the press, waved them in the air like it was a righteous act. leaky little john was just a contractor. elon musk is a presidential appointee who hasn't stolen or leaked a thing. democrats are worried about security because they are the ones who can't be trusted with it. hillary had a home server in her basement with secret in it and when she got caught, acid washed it. elon is not just about cutting the fat. listen, hundreds of federal workers are being promoted daily, every time we encounter excellence.

democrats are squealing trump is going to cut medicaid but look like with -- look what we found here. california was caught using medicaid to pay for art and music lessons. oregon was caught using medicaid for cooking classes, air-conditioners and mini fridges. d.o.g.e. is saving us all money and democrats are fundraising to stop it. >> i just left a massive citizen media that i organized about 24 hours or 48 hours ago. hundreds of people standing with 1 voice to say we are not going to allow for the billionaires to take over our government and i need your help right now to stand up and help me build the kind of political operation all across the country that we need to fight back against this hateful destructive agenda from donald trump and elon musk. >> jesse: now things are starting to get dangerous. police just arrested a trans man named lucy. >> on february seventh police reported there was an arson attempt plus acts of vandalism including graffiti at some of

the vehicles deemed offensive and hateful in nature. >> february 24th, monday evening, we were working, working surveillance where we then encountered the defendant. >> the suspect identified as 40-year-old lucy grace nelson, stopped before committee what would've been considered a class 3 felony. nelson was arrested on multiple charges including felony mischief but the most concerning 1 to police was the use of explosives or incendiary devices. >> the devices that were discovered had potential for serious damage. >> jesse: the left spends all day calling elon a fascist to should go back to africa and all of a sudden planting explosives that tesla dealerships. the threat level is so high that elon musk has u.s. marshals augmenting his private security. i guess democrats only like billionaires who add to the debt. elon is going to push hard to no matter what it is. he's a pioneer periods brain is wired to break things and create

things and not be like everybody else. so when trump and he longed see a wall, they don't stop, they go right through it. >> isn't it mind-blowing that this is happened? and by the way why do we still know nothing about that guy in butler? what's going on. kash patel will get to the bottom of it. [cheering and applause] >> jesse: if democrats are worried what we are finding and government, the grafton there, packs, wait until we start sniffing around butler. wait until d.o.g.e., patel and bondy pull the files. the fbi closed that investigation real quick. no toxicology, body cremated, electronics black old and the crux family hires an expensive attorney. with what money? pinch yourself, go-ahead, do it. we are living through history. no 1 has been able to cut waste in washington. nixon, reagan, clinton, obama,

they all tried and could not do it until now. >> we are having great success in slimming down our government. it's been really very successful. some took payouts and buyouts and others took other things and some people we are finding out don't even exist. we find we have a lot of people that don't exist that people thought that did. >> jesse: we are even digitizing the retirement cave. >> the administration came to us with a challenge, something that we have never done before. process a retiree end to end digitally without printing anything to paper. the deadline, in a week. >> the first time i went, the picture i had in my mind was something from the x files. some retirees have a lot of paper, a lot more than others. there were a couple we encountered that had pallets of communication. >> we were asked how long would it take to do this completely digitally. we gasped and said seven months maybe, 12 months.

>> we got it done in record time, within two days. without printing one piece of paper. >> jesse: things are changing fast. and there's a lot of emotion around that. no one says this was going to be easy. voters said when they put trump back in the white house they wanted him to come in and deliver "complete overhaul." this is going to make a lot of people very uncomfortable. trump has been shot, elon the second most targeted man in the world. the democrats are desperate and their bases are telling them to go harder. ironically the voice of reason in a moment like this is pretty boy floyd. >> we had trump before, we did not appreciate him but i think trump is a great president. he's the best president in my eyes. he's the best president we ever had. great businessman. trump has done an amazing job. a lot of people around america are upset but no matter who goes in the white house, we are

always upset. i think trump is the man for the job. >> jesse: ohio's future governor, vivek ramaswamy, joins me now. all right, i'm going to have to call you governor soon, i'm just getting it out of the way. the hostility towards elon musk, where does it come from? >> it comes from a place of irrationality. for the last several years people have had trump arrangement syndrome and that has now expanded to include elon and others. rationally speaking that we have a $36 trillion national debt problem. we have to cut trillions of dollars in spending to rationalize. our budget wasn't that much bigger in 2019. it was four and a half trillion dollars. this isn't an unthinkable amount, were $7 trillion today. another basic principle, the people we elect to run the government should be the ones who actually make the laws, not unelected bureaucrats. that's not controversial. the country was founded on that

very premise. i think that one of the areas that we will pay able to be helpful here is a lot of those programs from education to health care, they should not be in washington, they need to be devolved to the states and to the people where they belong. president trump is leading this to a golden era for america but that new golden age in our country will also be a golden age for federalism. kick it down to the states, that's what our founders envisioned. get it out of washington, d.c. i think that's going to be good. i think not just for republicans but for democrats across the country as well who deserve transparency into how their taxpayer dollars are being spent and who deserve to have lower taxes as a consequence of that waste, fraud and abuse no longer existing in the system. that's what i think and i think that's exactly where we are headed. >> jesse: what would you do differently than elon musk and big balls? >> look, it was a great start out the gate but what i want to see happen is that these changes, i want to see them become lasting changes. codified through legislation,

codified in ways that is much as you and i would not want a future democrat president of the united states, it's always a possibility. we have to make sure that these are permanent changes. i'm confident the steps taken out of the gate, you have to go fast, you have to go quickly when donald trump was given the mandate that he's been given. the mandate the voters gave donald trump was not for incremental change around the edges, the mandate last november was a mandate for sweeping positive change to the country. i'm proud of president trump, he's doing it in a way that i believe is actually uniting the country. you see it in some of the clips that you just played. a lot of nontraditional voting groups from black voters to young voters to hispanic voters. this is a coalition that was brought in a coalition that demanded positive change in our country. that's what he's delivering. some are saying he's moving too fast. i don't think that's the problem. the problem is we had four years of open borders, overspending, victimhood culture, woke

indoctrination, racial preferences. against that backdrop, ballooning national debt, foreign wars popping up left and right, the largest infiltration of illegal immigrants into this country in american history. if you don't move fast, that's exactly what donald trump is doing and how we will win our country back. >> jesse: well said. great having you on and good luck in ohio. we really appreciate it. >> thank you, my man. >> jesse: the binder is back. and she's blowing the whistle. ♪ ♪ i had the worst dream last night. you were in a car crash and the kids and i were on our own. that's awful, hon. my brother was saying he got life insurance from ethos. and he got $2 million in coverage, all online. life insurance made easy. check your price today at ethos.com. when i posted on tiktok that went from

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♪ ♪ >> jesse: trump made a new friend today. >> it's good to know that the united kingdom has a true friend in the oval office. we look forward to welcome you in the united kingdom. thank you once again. >> thank you very much. what a beautiful accent.

[laughs] >> i would have been president 20 years ago if i had that accent. [applause] >> jesse: then they got down to business. >> mr. president, did our prime minister persuade you not to put tariffs on the u.k.? >> he tried. [laughs] >> he was working hard, i will tell you that. he earns whatever they pay him over there. i think we could very well end up with a real trade deal. where the tariffs would not be necessary. >> jesse: trump is doing everything by did good not an biden seems okay with that. the golden age looks good on joe. he was spotted at his favorite place, a train station, with the biggest smile we've seen since inauguration. trump put the entire 24 democrat dream team out of a job. tim walz is trying out new career. stand-up comedy. >> i know what you are thin

thinking... >> jesse: but deep down he can't get over the election, he still blames himself for the landslide. it's not all your fault, your whole party blew it. and they are still trying to pick up the pieces. peter doocy gave binder ptsd. >> the job is already a cooker pressure, it's already incredibly difficult and to be the first, add that on top of what a difficult job some people have said it's the hardest job in the white house. it's a hard job. whatever, people would say that. >> would you say that? >> yes, it is, thank you. >> jesse: after binder saw trump's wherein, she threw her tv out the window. >> the last time i watch the news, don't rub it in, was january 20th when i was at the white house. i have not watch the news. i have really tried to focus on self-care.

i have d programmed myself so that i can be a civilian again. >> jesse: you can't deprogram us. we remember biden wandering around, lost, speaking gibberish, shaking hands with ghosts. the binder calling it all a cheap fake, remember? trump doesn't stop talking to the press. biden hid it a bunker. and binder explain that? >> the president spoke to it himself, he was very honest. he was like look, i don't speak as well as i used to, i don't move as well as i used to. he was very honest about what the american people were seeing. so he never hid from that. as far as it comes to inte interviews, this was a different media landscape. it really was. he wanted to talk about issues and it was very hard to have interviews when we -- where we were able to talk about the issues. >> jesse: a different media landscape? every reporter wanted to interview the president. biden said no. and he botched the debate and got cooed.

binder is still hurt over it. >> there was a disconnect from me, what was happening with leadership and the democratic party. it was a firing squad and i had never seen anything like it before. i had never seen a party do that in the way that they did. it was hurtful and sad to see that happening. a firing squad around a person who i believe was a true patriot. that was shocking. shocking. >> jesse: the hardest part of a coup is finding a good leader to replace the guy you backstab. kamala, not the answer. >> i talked to a lot of democrats and people say who the hell do i look to? >> i don't have anybody i will call out or put out there. i'm not. i think it's important, it doesn't matter if you are governor, senator, a local elected official,.

>> former vice president. >> former vice president. i want to see many voices, not just one. who can lead us to this time. >> jesse: here's the problem with the democrat voices, nobody wants to hear them. while they figure themselves out, rose and has some advice. let's listen. we are at the point where anyone identifying as a democrat at this point should just be pointed at have left-hand. that's it. no more arguing. just point and laugh. tomi lahren is an out,.com host and host of a hundred days with tomi lahren. how are you doing? >> it's great to see proof of light from former president joe biden. that was nice to see. i think both him and binder aren't -- indulging in self-care and it looks good on them. what really strikes me is how they both really just eight kamala harris. you heard her there when she was asked act they really tried to lead her into saying yes kamala harris is the likely air in 2028. she wants to hear many voices so i think joe is so happy that the

democrat party is in shambles. they threw him under the boss and now he's writing on trains, taking selfies, he does not care. and i think she's upset about it too. kamala is not the girl and i think she's just enjoying her bravo got her real housewives, or self-care and she's so happy she does not have the hardest job in the world anymore. >> jesse: a real cooker pressure. [laughs] >> jesse: i missed binder. there's something sweet and endearing about her that i missed. do you believe that she hasn't followed the news since she left? >> i think she probably does have some stress over the whole ordeal and i do believe she's probably not watching the news. i think she's relieved. this is probably the last we will see of her. i don't think there's any federal job openings either right now. i don't think that's the way she's going to go. but here's the thing about the democrat party, tim walz trying to be a comedian, kamala and joe who have signed with caa, a talent agency, avenue some launching yet another podcast. i'm waiting for them to lengthy

amazon storefront or bring the skincare routine. i don't think they want to be a party anymore. >> jesse: i could see gavin out there with a little moisturizer right here. i would buy anything from him, he looks like he knows what he's doing. >> he's got good hair like you but he's got the new podcast. i don't think they want to be a party, i think they want to be influencers and maybe that's a better route. >> jesse: she wants to come on your broadcast, gavin. let's see it. thank you so much. something very strange happened with the epstein files today. ♪ ♪ hey we're going big tonight let's go safety whoa! should i call mom? no, no don't tell your mother anything

an msc cruise isn't just a vacation, it's a holiday. - full of european style... - ah! and all the things americans love too! c'mon, bloom! there are a ton of football matches. games. football games. woo! you ready for some adrenaline? i was born ready. how high is that? so high. privacy. privacy. gelato. fro-yo. architecture. sharkitecture. that is a big hat. it's american, of course it's big. what a vacation! don't you mean holiday? my bad. we should stop now. yeah.

♪ ♪ >> jesse: last night on "jesse watters primetime" attorney general pam bondi said this... >> what you are going to see hopefully tomorrow is a lot of flight logs, a lot of names, a lot of information. but it's pretty sick what that man did. >> jesse: so we are looking today to find out more about why

the government has been so suspiciously protective of jeffrey epstein. this afternoon a bunch of conservative influencers left the meeting at the white house with binders that said "the epstein files, phase one." once the binders were opened, people were able to see flight records and epstein's rolodex and a list of masseuses. the masseuses names were blocked out in the information from the flight logs wasn't new. neither was the rolodex. when we began to feel duped, pam bondi released a letter that says basically i was duped too. in the letter addressed to fbi director kash patel, bondi says i ask you for the full and complete files related to jeffrey epstein. i received 200 pages of documents. i asked if these were all the documents and the fbi said yes. late yesterday i learned from a source of the fbi field office in new york was in possession of thousands of pages of documents related to the investigation and

the indictment of epstein. despite my repeated requests, the fbi never disclosed the evidence in these files. bondi is demanding by 8:00 a.m. tomorrow morning that the fbi deliver everything to her office, including all records, audio, video recordings, all materials related to epstein. and she ensures doj will disclose everything. she's directing patel to begin an immediate investigation into why the fbi is not following orders. so who is in charge of the new york fbi field office? who's withholding epstein documents from the attorney general? james -- is running the show, there he is. the guy who emailed his whole staff today again after trump took office. and don't forget that james guo me's daughter is an assistant u.s. attorney for the southern district of new york and she worked on the epstein and maxwell cases. she's kind of knee-deep in this. epstein was facing sex trafficking charges in lower manhattan.

where is that paperwork? the fbi seized computers, surveillance videos, banking records, file cabinets and photographs from all of epstein's properties in new mexico, the virgin islands, palm beach and in new york. the justice department also gave epstein a sweetheart nonprosecution deal. 17 years ago. where are those files? the bureau of prisons, where are those files? do you remember where epstein killed himself? i asked bill barr about that, why every thing seemed to go wrong that night. >> when i first heard all the information and all the coincidences i was suspicious. >> jesse: what were the coincidences? those were a lot of coincidences. >> one of the cameras was out. he was supposed to have a cellmate. the cellmate left. they did not replace the cellmate. and the guards who were supposed to check him every half-hour did not check him. >> jesse: my emt source said

he was on the scene immediately to pull epstein's body out to the morgue and when he got to the cell he saw seven people there touching epstein's body and moving stuff around. trump did say during the campaign he would release these files so it's not like this came out of the blue. jeffrey epstein did act as an informant to the fbi. is the bureau embarrassed? is the bureau embarrassed that they let hundreds of young victims down? this was all happening right under everyone's noses. epstein was probably an intelligence asset rumored to be working with the israelis, may be this. probably other countries. was he a double agent? he had a dirt on everyone and an act for making cash. and he's dead. so the government has no one to protect put themselves. epstein victim attorney jennifer freeman and former cia officer and whistle-blower. john, what explains this weird

turf war today? >> i think the easiest explanation is that so many fbi agents have been there for years, for decades, they think it's their organization, it's not kash patel's organization or even pam bondi's and they are going to do as they please. times have changed and they have until 8:00 tomorrow morning to get with the program war walk out the door. >> jesse: what happens if by 8:00 a.m. those fires -- files aren't on miss bondi's desk? >> i would start firing people. at the cia we worked at the pleasure of the president. if the president did not like the cut of your suit, you were shown the door. there is something to that. i think that is the way it should be. if you refuse to obey direct lawful order to turn documents over, then you need to go. somebody else should have that job can do it. >> jesse: ms. freeman, this

must be a sad day for your client, for all of these victims. it's just more mystery, more obstruction. how are you processing it, how is your client processing it? >> we have been looking through this, the documents which we just got an hour plus ago, and it's a bit of a ho-hum. certainly there is some information there, there are four categories, there's logs, evidence, there's contact lists and then there's a blank list of masseuses. and there's some interesting things on there. alan dershowitz appears multiple times, bill clinton appears. we see a reference to new and seminude images and videos, child pornography. and there's some interesting contact lists. hollywood a-listers. but one of the things that really struck me, because this is one of the issues we've been

pushing, is that what we saw evidence of was this child pornography. this is the issue that the fbi and the u.s. attorney's office completely missed and this is something that is so critical and could have put him away for life any years ago. so yes, my client and many other clients are very upset that they've been treated with the back of the hand over and over. i called for an investigation of this matter a year and a half ago and i got a big fat nothing. and i got a letter that says the issues and the allegations are concerning, but we are really kind of busy and we will get back to you and of course they did not. >> jesse: we will go through the release tonight and have more tomorrow. ms. freeman, john, thank you for joining us. a weird today. we appreciate it. fox news alert actor jean hackman and his wife found dead

today and a very suspicious scene. senior national correspondent kevin corke has more -- gene hackman. >> reporter: the search is on tonight for answers as investigators try to piece together what happened to the 95-year-old film star and his 64-year-old wife as well as one of their pets, all of whom were found deceased in their home in new mexico. that santa fe county sheriff's department said the deaths were suspicious enough in nature to warrant a deeper look. we are told there were no signs of obvious blunt force trauma or carbon monoxide poisoning or forced entry into the home. we are also told they were discovered by a pair of maintenance workers. according to a search affidavit. the front door of the two story home was also apparently ajar by the time deputies arrived. hackman's and arakawa's bodies were found in separate rooms in the house and we learned tonight that there were apparently pills strewn about on the floor near arakawa's body, but

investigators have not suggested that that was the cause of death. the oscar-winning actor whose career spanned more than 40 years and included nearly 80 films, among some of the all-time greats, bonnie and clyde, the french connection and unforgiven. gene, hackman, the search for answers into his untimely death. 95 years old and the investigation is ongoing. back to you. >> jesse: thank you so much, we appreciate it. on a different note, happy dei thursday. ♪ ♪

>> we will be doing this on a weekly basis. >> dei is something we must have. >> jesse: happy dei thursday. it's their favorite day of the week. it's on -- in honor of al sharpton, the best stories of diversity, equity and inclusion. in maryland, democrats want to change of the vending machines in preschools. and we are not talking about chips and soda. >> condoms for katie's. -- katie's. this goes too far. imagine walking into preschool

with your three, four, 5-year-old, you walk by the machine and they say mommy, daddy, what is in that machine? >> jesse: democrats want condom vending machines in schools. republicans said okay, maybe high school but not preschool. democrats said no, all kids, even preschoolers must practice safe sex. and we thought condoms for gaza was bad. next up, about two months away from mother's day and if you live in wisconsin, heads up, you might have to buy a new car. democrat governor snuck a minor tweak into his budget proposal. on page 1766 the term "mother" has been swapped for "inseminated person." and the governor says deal with it. >> what the republicans say is a lie. i'm pretty po to about that. all this does is it gives people

a chance using ivf which i think republicans are kind of okay with that. >> jesse: okay. and who uses ivf to get pregnant? mothers. see, i said it, it's not that hard. lastly, meet richard, a tier three sex offender who was arrested in fairfax county, virginia. cop says he exposed himself to women and kids in locker rooms and bathrooms across the county. how did he get into the ladies room? it's simple. he says he was a lady and according to the county's rules, if you say you are a woman, you can use whatever bathroom you want. a local news reporter cornered the fairfax county chair on the policy and guess what happened. >> we have some questions for you. are you going to change the county's policy that allows biological men in females locker rooms and bathrooms? do you have an answer to that?

and are you aware a sex offender use that policy to gain access to a rec center locker room? are you aware that that happened? those were just some of the many questions i had today. we walked around the fairfax county government center asking these questions. for 3 minutes. he avoided all of our questions. he ended up going into the men's bathroom to avoid my questions. >> jesse: hiding in the bathroom to avoid questions about bathroom policy. hope he did not lock himself in. no dei thursday is complete without a victory. major companies are dropping dei like a bad habit. today paramount declared dei dead. the entertainment giant said we will no longer set or use aspirational numerical goals related to the race, ethnicity, sex or gender of hires. bank of america is joining them, scrapping guys are -- diversity quotas. so is black rock. even though just three years ago their ceo declared the company

must "embed dei into everything we do." ♪ ♪ >> jesse: since elon asked all federal workers for their fiber compliments at work, we thought it's only fair to send johnny to ask what yours are. watch. ♪ ♪ >> what have you heard that elon musk has been doing in washington? >> i know he's a fascist piece of [bleep] >> he's been on the stage with a sledgehammer going -- >> this is a chainsaw. brionna chrissy. >> he sent an email to federal workers saying name five things you accomplish this week or else resign. was that a good idea? >> hell yeah. i want to know too. >> he's a genius. >> what is wrong with the truth? >> not from a random person that comes in and asks what you are doing. >> he was instructed by the

president to do so. >> he's an unelected person. >> the emails. >> the emails? it's irrelevant. >> enough of the emails. >> what do you do for a living? >> [bleep] [laughs] >> musical theatre composer. >> iona day care -- i own a day care. >> private equity, server at a golf club. >> make music and deliver food. >> what are five things you accomplish this week? >> you guys are nosy. >> who am i answering to right now? >> johnny. >> pleasure to meet you, your majesty. >> marked up some nda's. >> i danced with my baby. >> let's see... >> i attended a black history month event. >> black history month. how are you doing? >> i served drinks.

>> the drunkard they get, the bigger the tip. >> songwriting. i've written lyrics. >> not much i did. >> i did eight work at work. >> office entertainment with watercooler talk. >> i wiped my ass but nobody else's. >> would meditating count? >> no. >> hire actors. >> song all day in my room. >> there we go, what did you saying? [singing] >> if i had that voice i would have been president 20 years earlier.

♪ ♪ >> sometimes you have a lazy coworker, doesn't really put in too much effort. how do you deal with that person? >> i take them home and have sex. >> feeling lazy. >> /. >> sometimes i seem like the lazy one. excuse me. >> have you ever been fired? >> yeah. i was taking too long with people's deliveries. >> what were you doing? >> stopping to smoke a joint. >> no. >> no. >> no. are you firing me? >> you are fired. ♪ ♪ >> "jesse watters primetime", fox news, he's a hard worker. what do you want to tell him? >> your coworkers appreciate it and they know they can do what they do without you. and without johnny. >> do you know who johnny is? >> no. >> i'm johnny. [singing] >> jesse, let me tell you

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>> jesse: remember that friend of yours that had fuzz buster on the dashboard, you were driving around speeding and knew cops were close. if you got pulled over and caught with the fuzz buster, trying to put it in the glove compartment. those are the days, i miss them. let's do texts. pat from maryland, joe should have asked kamala for five things she did every week, i'd like to know. jany from jupiter, can corn pop pop corn in a cooker pressure?

cooker pressure? she was white house press secretary. bob from salt lake city, fbi agents are going to be in a real cooker pressure tomorrow. i have a feeling they will not hand over anything. they will say, come and get it. armand, what a name, from albuquerque, coming soon, happy inseminated person day. debby from georgia, outdid himself tonight, best package of the year. i shouldn't have said that, he will ask for a raise. peter from lehigh acres, florida, hire that animal impr impressionist now. we'll book him for the show. friday is tomorrow, why not, i'm jesse watters, this is my world. >> welcome to