♪ ♪ >> sean: programming note tomorrow night will -- we will be right here back in d.c., after the presidential address to congress we will be on right afterwards. we have a great lineup. and my interview with the one and only jillian michaels wait until you hear about her life's toilet -- story it is unbelievable. that is on foxnation.com. please set your dvr so you never miss an episode of "hannity" thank you for making this show possible and let not your heart be troubled greg gutfeld is next to put a smile on your face. have a great night.

♪ ♪ [applause] >> greg: yes. yes! all right. all right all right, you can stay. close your robes over there. good evening, everyone. happy monday. the academy awards aired last night. kamala harris was expected to attend but she canceled at the last minute when she heard her husband doug had already booked a nanny. in her acceptance speech for winning best actress mikey madison thanked the sex worker community. who does she think she is? hunter biden's? shortly after the oscars a 3.9 magnitude earthquake rocked l.a. the tremors were so powerful

oprah's ass is still moving. why would you laugh at that? fat shaming. president trump signed executive order making english the official language of the united states. [applause] who needs a punch line? he then signed another executive order making pig latin the official language of "the view". [applause] >> knew that was coming. >> greg: according to the hello president trump wants to add a ballroom to the white house. make sense, the guy before him did not need room for balls. a pair of jfk underwear are sold at an option for $9000. beating the previous record of $4500 for barack obama's underwear. [applause]

>> so dainty. >> greg: they are dainty. and they ride up, trust me. ukrainian president zelenskyy was criticized for what you wore to the white house meeting on friday but in his defense most suits his size come with a sailor hat and a giant lollipop. tokyo researchers have made a robot hand that combines lab grown of muscle with the mechanical parts so it feels like a real hand. that is great news. now i don't have to sit on my hand until it is numb, said one manner. you know, i didn't learn about that trick until i was in my 40s. a group of sociologists have found that married men are finally doing more housework. see? there is a benefit to gay

marriage. you don't deserve that joke. >> they don't. >> greg: that was a good joke. last week joy of a heart accused elon musk of being pro-apartheid but then begged him afterwards not to sue. musk lawyers have yet to comment because they are still checking to see if it is legal to sue a cow. >> shots fired. >> greg: just a legal question i don't know why it is so upsetting? i don't like the rules in this country. so friday zelenskyy entered the white house and his military fatigues and left with a boot up his ass. if he insulted america any worse jane fonda would have banged him. [applause] thank you. you never know what works. [laughter] talk about a disaster.

that may have been the messiest scene in the oval office since blue clinton used a blue dress for target practice. in the interest of world peace let's adjust zelenskyy correctly. dude a, you have to drop the napoleon complex. is a short guy i am an expert. i know what it is like to have a parade described to me as a 12 year old. but you have to accept you need us far more than we need you. the same thing i told my foster kids. and however right just -- right just your cause is americans voted for another guy -- for a guy who doesn't want to empty and they were because treasury into a graveyard to. this is in 2022 when you were dealing with the old man who couldn't tell you right from "gilligan's island". things have changed. for all of the trump of trump being a fascist right now trump and his crew are the only ones

talking piece because just like the chaos of an open border or the crime cost by defunding the peace, war sure looks exciting to those who do not have to fight them. just ask tim walz. but zelenskyy needs to understand what is actually meant by a deal. it means you won't get everything you want to, you will have to bend a little, a lot, actually, as trump said you don't have the cards to play no matter what your democrat buddies are telling you. you were at the kids table and you are still not the tallest one there. see, vlod got tricked by the people who can't save him i.e. the democrats you can paint with last year prior to meeting trump last friday. today they are about as influential as dylan mulvaney at a men's retreat. and while it is good to see europe has your back, vlod, you are asking them to kick russians out of ukraine when they can't even kick thomas out of london.

the democrats used vlod to pluck a fight with trump so they could provoke the bear. in a way they are like your loudmouth friend to start a fight in the bar and says go ahead i will hold your coat. zelenskyy got played, you got snotty with the one group of people on this planet in a position to save his ass. imagine being the guy about to go to the electric chair and you get a call from the governor and you end up telling him that his wife is fat. that is vlod. and the people who rode your script for you have been wrong on every issue. all of those dopes who say what trump advanced it was awful are the same people who said that biden was saying. meaning if the morning show on cnn thinks friday it was the worst than you know it was the best. he would not knowing where half the money we sent to ukraine is is not a good luck especially

when we have a few budget problems of our own. see, vlod, you are no longer dealing with an old fart. he was last seen getting his casket tailored. he won't get talked down to buy a man who is 5'3" and dressed like a cat burglar. so, president z you are stuck were so many trump antagonists are these days. in opposition to common sense. this is not americans war, i know this is confusing because most of our wars are not. but americans voted for the guy who said they will and this one and not the, i think i you know could not find ukraine on a map of ukraine. [applause] trump sees an endless war for what it is, a mountain of debt. >> i want one thing to happen i

want all of those young people to stop being killed and being killed by the thousand every single week. last week 2700 were killed. 2700 young and in this case just about all younger boys. from ukraine and from russia. and that is not young people from the united states but it is on a human basis. i want to see it stop. but they are using thousands -- losing thousands of soldiers a week. all the democrats can do right now is question trump's methods. he is such a bully he is so mean the same thing said about d.o.g.e, the border, men and women's bathrooms, and everything that requires they sense and brains of an adult. but look, volod, we can help, pull the minerals out of the ground and partner with american businesses so that putin won't dare try again. after all, put the never attacked ukraine with trump and

office. somebody, this time you recognize who your friends really are, it is not the democrats wishing suite nothings in your ear it is the guy who dressed you down in front of the world so put on your big boy pants even if it means shopping at baby gap. >> hear he is! >> greg: she is our favorite ham after glazed antennae break. mary katharine ham! his act is a lot like your netflix password, easy to guess, canadian adam hunter! part scottish, part romanian, and part lenscrafters. kennedy! and t is like the jolly green giant accept the jolly and the green part. "new york times" best-selling author tyrus! [applause] and, always up pleasure to see

you. so basically, isn't this always the case that trump would do something that essentially everybody agrees with and then the argument is over the methods? like you went too far, he is too mean, basically that is all that is left on the table as methods. >> even if they don't all agree with him many american voters agree with him. i think that is the shift. zelenskyy's job to cut a good deal for the ukrainian people, also his responsibility to understand the political ground in this country is very different than it was a month ago or 20 years ago and people want an accounting for what exactly we are going to be doing. >> greg: it is our money. we kind of need that money. you know, i personally need a pool. what do you make of this political situation, adam, you have been following politics for

decades? >> and by decades i mean weeks. i mean look maybe trump would have been better off asking him to ride down five things he accomplished last week. [applause] you never know. but i mean look he was dressed in black it was black history month. look, and now trump is saying he might withdraw u.s. troops from germany which how do you know elon musk is not in charge because here is the plot of anything. >> greg: i could see that joke coming like a frisbee and the desperate -- desert. the moment you so withdraw i could see it coming either hunter biden --... or elon musk. >> think about it zelenskyy was banned from the white house and

hunter biden's dog was allowed to stay. and his dog was 11 secret service people. i love animals but it might be time to put it down. not hunter biden joe biden i mean the dog. i messed it up i said hunter. >> it probably was his dog. joe did not know what time of day it was you can expect them to know where the [bleep]'s dog is that. >> greg: speaking of hunter off the rails up. >> that is fond of. our audience has no reference to cocaine. >> just the one guy in the back. >> greg: reminds me i have to get to a meeting. kennedy, how are you, darling? >> wonderful to be here. >> greg: it is great to see you. >> i love our fall pallet. >> greg: i get the sense you

have been in negotiations all your life. so it was a friday part of a negotiation that happened to be made public because zelenskyy made it public? generally you get into fights in negotiations and stuff like that? >> yes, and there was always posturing because both sides what they are trying to do is get as much as they possibly can in the delicate and fragile time that is kind of no-man's-land where the big aspects of the deal are done but you have not actually signed it yet. so this little wiggle room window of leverage. unfortunately zelenskyy did not have any leverage. i thought it was so strange these democrat senators, this is for their own political benefit, are pushing him to go over the edge because they know that trump and vance together are going to explode. and all democrats need is for trump to look like he is pro-putin and then they get to kick-start the whole russia thing a gander. as long as they have a bogeyman like russia and they can tie

trump to it and they don't have to have any ideas at all. zelenskyy is bad at negotiating and reading american politics and reading the room and he let the whole thing fall apart because he is falsely confident because we were the ones to borrow a cocaine analogy, who gave him a bumper for so long. [applause] >> greg: yes. and while he is taking our pumps he is not telling us he is taking bumps from other people. and it is like stop taking drugs you are getting drugs from somewhere else. i hate that guy. tyrus? was he set up by those bitches? >> he wasn't set up by ass he was set up by a grown ass manor. there were meetings where they were leading the -- laying the deal out but he put...

they put out the mineral rights and he can't have them with the mineral rights because he is part of the laundering scheme. $64 million missing. what do people do who steal money from other people? they have to replace it with new money and this happens to be controlled by one of the most transparent presidents of all time president trump. when he did that to marco rubio and j.d. vance, he hurt their little feelings, he went to president trump and said he outdid us and caused the names the president said cool, bring his ass to the house. it always happens. he walked in there with his chest out and he started to do the same thing to j.d. vance. even made that little thread. a lot of people keep missing the fact that he said you are feeling it now you will feel it later that was a threat. that is when president trump said enough. you are feeling nothing, you have no cards to play, and then zelenskyy got nervous and said we aren't playing cards. and trump said no [bleep] you have no cards to play.

and you called him out because he wanted the american people to see it all because when this all plays out you see zelenskyy not an add for the american people. he is in it for himself he has made a lot of money, has missed a lot of elections, and the democrats have been a willing partner because that $64 billion went somewhere. and now they have to account for it. you can't get our money now without accounting for it when you were laundering of taking money you can't have books. he cannot signed that deal of that is why he pulled that the president called him out on it. [applause] >> greg: all right, there you go. take that, brit hume. red bat come back with brit hume. brit hume here. >> it's not even just the impression he even has the little neck folder.

>> greg: brit hume has nothing to do with this i just get off doing brit hume. >> he stroked himself to brit hume. >> greg: we have to move on. up next the democrats went a long the way to hide biden's thank you. -- to k.

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>> video of the day. >> greg: the losers behind the scenes spill all the beans. kept the white house alive while biden's brain died. how his team spun the narrative around jo's mental decline and taking poll numbers. he is on the left.

>> we were always a from day one cognizant age was an issue. there was a lot of denial of the polling and they will use the term gaslighting. that is what they were doing the campaign of former colleagues. the message to everybody was to make sure tell people it is too early these people don't do anything good. i think if you were watching msnbc you probably believe them. probably pretty shocked. >> greg: shocked and dangerous. gaslighting around such an old fart? so, adam, you have these brave souls screaming at the rooftops. where were they? >> first of all nobody is watching msnbc. more frozen the nancy pelosi's

400. i mean he was talking to more dead people than the psychic friends and network. it was completely obvious what was going on it. at the debate they had to put an electric fence around so you wouldn't wander off. [applause] >> greg: yes. [laughter] i like the reference to psychic friends network. >> it is actually back if you stay up late enough. >> really? >> if your wife kicks you out of the bedroom and you have to watch forensic files to go to sleep that is the commercial now. or so i have heard it. >> greg: you brought up the debate. if that debate hadn't happened and violence decline hadn't been revealed to millions and none of these people would be admitting anything. >> look, man, i know i have been with my kids a lot these past few weeks but you have to stop.

you were too nice, greg. you are too nice. i wish i could have been at that event so i could walk up to him and say stop lying inc. nothing to do with his age. he did use the right word in the wrong context. cognitive. he was brain dead when he got there. brilliant people and their 80s and 90s, he was not one of them. and for him to say they are not coming forward they are just saying enough because they know you can't tell me if they committed treason to the american people. their president was unfit to serve and they covered up and ran their own programs and served their own country. it wasn't a debate the debate you were not warned like did you see that? we were like no [bleep] we knew it. it wasn't like every speech before that like shakespeare doing cartwheels and then the debate all fall apart? [bleep] you.

[applause] >> greg: it is like an arsonist complaining he accidentally burnt his own house down her. >> we had one of those kids in our neighborhood to. you would like fires and call the fire department and he would be the one -- first one there. after the third house fire they were like that is so weird. and that little boy was hunter biden. but it is like we can't we can't live through three administrations where they are lying to us. do not believe a word they are saying. if you can see with your own eyes and you can hear and you can see the decline over a period of time you don't need to be a medical doctor. i know your former colleague jay tapper used to get mad at people when they are like i don't know joe biden looks like he is going downhill. or you a doctor? doesn't have to be a doctor to see that something is really wrong with the guy. i wouldn't trust any one of the

people in his inner circle as far as i can throw them and i have some pretty beefy thighs. >> greg: when i do my mobile checkups from my van i often tell them i am not a doctor but you can trust me. >> you will feel some pressure. >> you will feel some pressure. a light prick. [laughter] >> greg: what? speaking of jake tapper. he authors a book that supports these whistle-blowers. these are whistle-blowers that he somehow didn't hear throughout the entire time that biden was around? >> access to the biden folks to ride the biden book and a larger piece -- lots of people will buy the biden book but you can't sell out biden while he is

running and then have access to ride the book. you can to write the book in 2021 and say biden is in decline and we can all see it. that is not a best seller. but this guy also a lot of people lie about age. a normal thing to do. and i just want to say as a 24-year-old commentator. [laughter] >> you covered it he literally [bleep] himself in germany and went to sleep. nobody [bleep] themselves and goes okay. >> greg: i can't really cast stones and that glass house. by the way, biden's book is falling off the shelf. sneaked that one in there. up next bill murray night debats on the dude that broke

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♪ ♪ >> video of the day part two. >> greg: the star of "caddyshack" calls woodworth hack. second video of the day comes to you when discussing woodworth's 1984 book. the book was so inaccurate he had to wonder if woodworth's reporting on a watergate was also full of crap. watch. >> i went five pages and i went they framed nixon. if this is what he writes about my friend that i have known for half of my life which is completely inaccurate talking to people of the outer circle getting the story what could

they have done to nixon. i just felt like if you did this to my friend like this and i acknowledge i only read five pages but "the five" pages i read made me want to set fire to the whole thing. >> greg: there you go maria realized if he couldn't trust woodward on a question he knew well like reporting on his friend then he couldn't trust in nixon on --'s reporting on nixon who he didn't like. this is in effect when people call b.s. on stories something they know about what continue to trust report to get areas where they are not. bill murray broke free of that. it is not just one area it is about all news. every single person who ever read a piece that they have prior knowledge of comes away never trusting the news again that. isn't every story than untrue?

because every story is viewed as such by somebody knowledgeable on that subject. meaning every climate story rings false to somebody who studies it, every inflation story rings false to everybody who understands it. every story about to me rings a false unless it says i am 5'10". [applause] kennedy, this is for me it is a revelation to see it in realtime. where somebody goes my god i can't trust this person anymore because now i have experienced the reporting of close. and he knew woodward to. >> this phenomenon is unique. might -- michael crichton was the one who termed... amnesia and it only pertains to the media because most of us when we come up to somebody who was lying like that person is a liar i don't trust them. it has taken us decades to get to that place because everybody

has sort of emerged from their amnesia and "the new york times" i know i can't afford things but "the new york times" is telling me that inflation is transitory and dull in my head. i know this very well they are full of [bleep]. that is where people have gotten with cnn and "the new york times" and that. i shame it has taken bill murray so many decades but it is like being the red pill but he woke up from some think like we have been lied to this entire time. i once talk to... in the 90s and he said the first time he met bill clinton he thought he was a genius because bill clinton love to have republicans or democrats around him and hold court and talk about a variety of different subjects and he is like this, is a genius. he knows everything. and then he started talking about economics and he was like this guy is completely full of

[bleep]. we have just elected a total charlatan of. >> greg: that is the gell-mann effect. i think more people are experiencing that because of the internet and social media we are all written about somehow. you can see the click based on you and the click mate on me and then you go okay, this is not true if this is not true than nothing is true. >> i think you know what i am hitting at i am not the father. let's put that to rest a number 1. >> greg: you don't even have to be specific. >> they know. elon musk at the same problem. because integrity means something. and integrity as opposed to really mean something in journalism. so what bill murray is saying is what he is realizing is he just did that to our beloved comedian but he wasn't a household name.

like a great comedian but he died too soon not enough time for him to do that to that then you know what he did with... and it turns out he came this story is bigger than watergate. because that is what they do. they sensationalize and if they don't have the information they will go up to somebody who they think might have information and they treat that as fact and that is what lead to fake news as we know it today. when it comes to talking about presidents and that is the one thing you should hold your journalistic integrity to the if you don't know the new research and get sources. they just fill in the blanks. that is the problem. i think bill murray is 1000% right. if you are willing to [bleep] on john belushi than you see what i'm saying? look, he was phenomenal and animal house. and from animal house i assumed that he liked to during and party apart -- a lot. that doesn't mean i have the right to write a book about his

life. >> greg: do you know woodward's background before watergate? do you want me to tell you? >> she does not want to know. >> greg: no experience. he was a naval officer and then all of a sudden he gets a job at "the washington post" and quickly breaks the biggest story of the century? >> interesting. >> the big flag for me this has happened and various others of his books as well where people are calling him out on his books he is not just a reporter that got something wrong, he is the reporter. the reporter who is that the model for all of the other reporters and to me it is indicative of this thing where we elevate people who are proven wrong over and over again in the media goes why don't you trust us? that is why because you guys do that. that is why. >> greg: you guys were telling us in the green room you believed that john woodward killed belushi.

>> this is the opposite of this effect is when joy behar it makes a good point. by the way, trump is renaming "the view" the gulf of menopausal. >> greg: well done it. >> my dad was say something sometimes and it makes me question everything he has ever told me. when i was 17 i got an std and i told my dad it burns when i pee. what is in mean? >> and he says that mean somebody is thinking about you. your girlfriend is banking somebody. >> greg: i love how you work your jokes and do something that has no connection whatsoever. >> to be fair his dad was rightr >> greg: the general wants restraints ot failn white guy,

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>> a story in five words. >> greg: white guys should stop whining. tyrus, i go to you for no particular reason. and all that in "the new york times" claims a white man have created a victim narrative despite maintaining their cultural dominance. they should just shut up. what are your thoughts? >> black history month is not long enough. >> greg: black history is history. >> yes, it is. this is stupid. i like white people. >> greg: you are half a white person. >> that does not count. what drives me crazy is when you hear this because especially white men they have been getting there ass kicked so what they

complain about they should be complaining. everything that is wrong is their fault. what are they complaining about from being completely humiliated , jobs taken away from them for being white to. and then the last 20 years ago they dumped it on poor whitey and to make it worse these white [bleep] have nothing to complain about. so if white dudes are upset they have every right to be. you can't say hello to me on certain days because i might be offended. >> greg: that is true. >> you have not sent one of those reparation checks i have been blackmailing you for months. >> greg: you call a blackmailing. >> or nobody would do it. [applause] >> greg: i know this is a

surprise this was written by a white female of. probably a liberal. i'm assuming. a fluid white female liberal. >> here is like what i like about dudes complaining displacing with vocal fry and i think it is a little unfair for the ladies that say feel your feelings to tell the men that they can't talk about their feelings. and now i'm done talking like that. forever. [applause] >> greg: did you tingle a little bit when you heard that? >> yes. >> greg: your tongue started moving out of your mouth. and interesting defense you would there not tell a woman to shut up about her feelings. >> especially my wife. my wife she always complains like you never opened doors for me while i did while i was driving.

[laughter] she got mad that i scheduled a comedy show on our wedding anniversary but i didn't agree to last that long. >> greg: i forgot what the topic is now. thank you. kennedy? >> yes, white devil? >> i wish. >> greg: i think she cited as evidence archie bunker from all in the family. good research at their journalist a lady. tv land. >> this is one of my mom's friends still wearing a i'm with her t-shirt. you know speaking up modes of transportation a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. all of the straw men in the argument but she did not actually say why some men might have that reaction and what they might be reacting to what you

made it intellectually dishonest argument throughout the entire piece of. >> greg: what do you think of "the wall street journal" which is read, i believe, by a lot of white dude. it might be the official white dude paper. why do you think they did that? why would they want to offend their readers all? >> i don't know. maybe they wanted a dominatrix. maybe they are masochists. >> greg: i find that is the explanation behind many things. looking for a good dominatrix. >> that is how i have stayed employed it so long. >> greg: all right enough. >> greg: all right enough. up nex omact royal plans inclue guards with fake handsogas. iberogast helps relieve six digestive symptoms to help you feel better. six digestive symptoms. the power of nature. iberogast.

>> this could be breaking news. at least to us. >> greg: is there any way of knowing that is his real hand showing? a recently resurfaced video of britain's king charles, there he is, a security detail can be seen wearing what some believe to be a fake arms. can we get that? go ahead. to those look fake to you. notice how they are not moving they are just static. they never move it.

took me forever to film this. i had to get very close with the telescopic lens. i am obsessed with this. this idea that these bodyguards keep their real hands hidden in a ready position near their weapon while they have these fake hands. if i had these fake arms you know what i would be doing with my real arm? taking care of a rescue dog. before... [laughter] tyrus, you are a security that. is there such a thing as fake arms? >> yes there are but not in this case. or you talking about the guy there with the two hands? no man in his right mind with fake hands put a ring on it. that is his one moment of freedom. >> has won moment of freedom. [laughter]

>> the guys in the back with their hands of the pocket i get it but it is never the guy closest to you with the gun that. i'm trying to tell you this the guy with the gun you never see him he is not on camera. he is in the back. see the guy with the glasses on the beard way back there with the umbrella? that dude is packing. >> greg: kennedy, you know what i always say? if they are not moving they aren't really. >> you told me that when i was jogging once and i appreciated the advice for -- so thank you for that. somebody services you provided fox. i don't think he has his hand i think they are. i think he is massaging his rifle if you know what i mean it. >> greg: ever since we beat the [bleep] out of him and that a war it is creepy. eating funny sandwiches and drinking warm piss. >> weird accents. i don't know why but this is so

british. the ministry of... but a security guard. >> greg: i don't care what tyra says i believe those arms are fake. >> i'm not surprised king charles bodyguard has a fake arms. his son has missing... >> greg: that was good a prince harry job. i guess we are done with that. i'm the only person who believes thosgoe arms are fake. don't go away we will be rightel back. you know those geese are canadian, right? they've got baseball there, too.

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