not your heart be troubled, greg gutfeld is here to put a smile on your face, have a great night. ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ >> greg: yes! yes! thank you. i deserve it. good evening everyone. so this week, a bill that forbids men to play women's sports failed to advance in the senate. so unfortunately men are still allowed to play soccer r according to a new survey, nearly 25% of americans admit to going to the bathroom in the shower. trumpet is also set to sign an executive order that will abolish the department of education. [cheering and applause]

>> greg: you are welcome. the teachers union has issued a terse response. [laughter] doctors warned that your health could be at risk if you have a curved pinky toe. i wouldn't know, i haven't seen my feet in years, said one man. tuesday, president trump noted how a transgender woman beat a real woman in a race by more than five hours. and he would have won by seven but he got lost and since he's a guy he refused to ask for directions. according to recent article, one in five people can wail their ears. i can't do that but i'll show you something else i can wiggle, said one man. you guys kind of knew that was coming. you had the premature laugh.

only fans star lily phillips is apparently now sleeping with elderly men in nursing homes for her latest stunt. yes who just moved to shady acres? the white house confirmed that american officials have engaged in direct talks with hamas. normally they would have to communicate through their spouses. on tuesday, trumps war a 13-year-old cancer survivor, d.j. daniel into the secret service. [cheering and applause] it was all me. and as expected, the next day he received an email from elon musk demanding that he list five things he has already accomplished or he's fired. you're gone, d.j.!

and on wednesday, former president obama sat courtside at an nba game but notably without his wife, michelle. makes sense, she was starting center. [laughter] just testing the signs. okay,, it's a bad time to be a democrat. every you look they find reminders of how much they suck. on tuesday night, the relentless swirl of good news reminded them of how useless and incompetent they are. how did they act? i have seen better behavior from the view when they swarm a disabled food truck. but boy do they hate good news and they hated even more because the american people love it. it is almost as if they hate the american people for appreciating a better life. it is true, democrats got less to look forward to then the toilet at jerry nadler's apartment.

and what did they do next? they double down on embarrassing. role it, clive. >> choose your character! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [laughter] so what's that loud thumping noise i hear? that's the last remaining man exiting the democrat party. i mean talking about playing to your worst stereotype, the reactionary karen. it's like they looked at trump and said oh, yeah,, we can fight to. know you can't. i haven't seen punches that week since i be up that my name. stupid fifth-grader. even worse, they pretend to be authentic by imitating each

other. they are like the second dumbest kid in class cheating off the dumbest kid in class. but at least a few democrats have learned something from the past 10 years besides how to be a drag queen. last month a centrist leaning democratic think tank held a retreat to figure out how to make normal people vote democrat again. their mission statement? quote, activist groups and progressive staffers pushed unpopular cultural positions, making it seem like democrats are more extreme than they actually are. activist and activist groups promote their single issue and raise money around it not to make democrats collectible. so, weight, you mean castrating little boys isn't popular? and that it is not cool to watch men beat up girls in sports and send them to the hospital? or that americans don't want to bring in millions of illegals and make excuses for the ones who kill people? will dip me and dog [bleep] and call me a fudge pop. seriously, that turns me on.

thanks for connecting those dots for us, matlock. now they offer democrats advice. stop focusing on oppression politics without acknowledging the country's progress and potential. it's true, that is like a guy dating a supermodel who was also smart and funny but he keeps complaining that she is irish. they say to embrace patriotism, community and traditional american imagery are great but i think that guy is already taken. [cheering and applause] avoid overly moralistic or condescending messaging, speak plainly and directly and in other words, watch cnn and then do the opposite. and owned the failures of democratic governance in large cities.

translation, democrats start being republicans. now you could say well, better late than never. but they could have saved this country a lot of pain and suffering if they did this sooner. like when they first realized joe had the brain of a snapping turtle. and who wouldn't want to be a republican right now? it's like finding out you are pregnant and this is the dad. according to a cbs news survey, 76% of viewers approved of trumps speech, it's amazing. that poll is right up there with my absent kittens calendar. most people said the speech made them feel hopeful, proud, inspiring and unifying. you know, the opposite way you feel when you saw these guys. and according to a cnn poll, that's right, cnn, 69% had a positive reaction. 69. even rachel maddow think that's a good number.

no wonder all of the same democrats are depressed. john fetterman some their behavior up on tuesday as, a sad cavalcade of cell phones and unhinged petulance that only makes trump look more presidential and restrained. and this is the guy who would wear sweats and equity to a funeral. the bottom line, trumped arrangement syndrome became trumped arrangement strategy. and by taking over the party it force them to come out against everything trump was for which, as it turned out was everything the american public was for. so it left them with nothing but hate. so i do wish the democrats luck on trying to rid themselves of the craziest and angriest people in their party. but if you listen to me three years ago and not that we beat jimbo -- jimmy kimmel's of the world, you wouldn't be in this mess. you are a brain-dead party which serves you right for electing a brain-dead president.

let's welcome tonight's guests! his kids love to see him through plexiglass, actor, writer, comedian, jamie lissow! she is one-of-a-kind, a chick who can do math. financial analyst, heather zumarraga. he doesn't need to go to his high school reunion because he sleeps in the parking lot. comedian jim florentine! and she may be nearsighted but she is always delighted. from the kennedy save the world podcast, kennedy. jaimee, you know what socks? and i'm not going to say your comedy routine because that's too obvious. it's the fact that it takes democrats to find out it is unpopular in order to actually change things. now they are making oh, my god,, maybe we shouldn't be for surgically enhancing children's junk.

>> and it's like they change based on what they think people want them to think. there's no true ideas. and watching the trump speech which i was one of the 69% that approved, i thought it was a great speech and entertaining, i found it immature that they sit down, they sit on one side while the other side cheers and collapse, even when a little boy survives cancer. even at that moment you would think -- watching the video of the speech reminded me of a lot of my shows except for the half that stood up and clapped. but i think in some ways, i'm the divorce guy, in some ways trump is like the democrats ex-wife. but guess what? we have children together and that is the united states of america and you have to put your ego aside. i have an ex-wife up because we have kids, you have to learn to coparent. she actually texted me right before the show, and not even kidding you, it says [bleep] you. [laughter]

we still communicate just like we did when we were together. >> greg: that's a beautiful story. heather, i'm trying to figure out, to the democrats have an identity if everything was in this trumped arrangement basket? and other you find out that trump is popular, the derangement cannot work. but then they have a backup plan, what say you? >> they don't have a backup plan and jamie, you can get one of those black signs that they are holding up when you want the audience to clap. it is pretty effective. at least on this show but not so much in congress. [applause] he really didn't say anything that people could disagree with. so that was a problem were you see people on cnn and even msnbc saying he has a great approval rating. well, yeah,, closing a border,

approved, balance the budget, yes. we approved. keeping women out of boys sports , men i should say, and boys sports, of course we approve of that. i mean he had a few digs at biden but overall, to trumps point, the guy could cure cancer or he could solve everlasting peace in the world and the democrats would not care at this point today. >> greg: good point. jim, i met your son in the green room, it's good to see that he is older than the women you date. >> i mean -- he's actually two years younger. 14, yeah. >> greg: good for you! how are you enjoying this -- i haven't talked to you since trump got into office, how's it going for you? >> it's going great. all of the comedians in new york city are all going onstage and trying to talk about trump but the crowd doesn't want to hear it. even a young crowd is likely as,

i don't want to hear it. they don't even boo. if someone goes who voted for trump, 10 people raised their hand and they don't get booed or anything like that. it's just like a, luscious have some laughs which is good, i haven't seen that yet. but i love what happened. it's a long speech, the longest beach she ever did. i think he is competitive so he saw adrien brody at the oscars, he had the longest beach in donald trump is like watch what i do on tuesday. the only one that was probably mad was elon musk, he was like come on, i have to get out of here, i have to impregnate another woman. >> greg: it's funny when you think about the desperate desire for those democrats to appeal to the youth vote by doing that little video game dance. but young people are just drawn to trump because he just upsets those people. the kids teachers hate trump so you have to love trump. >> absolutely. all my kids teachers hate trump

so they all do the opposite of course. and these young kids like it because he is a ball buster. and this generation loves that stuff which is great. it was like a comedy club, that will speech. tackling, yelling, people getting thrown out. he's playing a one-sided room. i was there before i went on stage, is said to the comedian before, does like how the crowd and he said it's hot packs of the left side is side socks. >> greg: there's always one old guy wandering around and doesn't know where he is. this ain't the soup kitchen. kennedy, what did you make of those democrats doing the choose your fighter video? >> i thought it was so stupid. it's like they are trying to focus group this stuff and that is the opposite of leading. they are following whatever conservatives are doing right now and they are so far in front because they are forecasting what problems may be coming up down the road and democrats are

chasing republican tales right now. and it is so disingenuous, it so incredibly pointless and they are spent bawling anything. like can we try patriotism? and it's like no, you are the guys -- you cited with colin when he started kneeling for the national anthem. that is what your party was doing. and it's like the dean at bernard college. right now they have a bunch of anti-israel, anti-semitic protesters who are pro-hamas and the dean is just trying to pacify them. and that's what democrats did with progressives for the last eight years. and this is what you get! you get trump again! after you tried to jean carol him, after you tried to fani willis him. none of it worked and he gets to be president again and now you are doing a week impression of him because you have fighting skills that are lackluster and

napoleon dynamite would barf over you with embarrassment. [applause] >> greg: i am wondering, do you have a massive hickey on your neck? >> i got whiplash, this is a call or. >> greg: it makes your head so tiny. >> actually have a really large head so i'm trying to overcompensate. >> you know what you me of? you remind me of a container of dishwasher soap. >> because i smell so good and clean your dishes? >> greg: i just want to pop your head off and squirt you on my plate. just want to pop your head off and score you on my plate, lady. >> slow down jeffrey dahmer. >> greg: that is the biggest turtleneck i have ever seen. >> it is the queen, darling. >> is that in style? >> it was expensive.

just imagine dana and that. you wouldn't even see her. >> she's in here, weight. dana, he's talking about you! come out, it will be fun! [applause] >> greg: nicely done. up next, today, i chooseth how to screeneth for colon cancer! here on my land, not theirs. give me cologuard®, or give me— excuse me. we can do that for you. what, no battle? nope. just a prescription. victory! cologuard is an effective and non-invasive colon cancer screening test. false positive and negative results may occur. those at high risk should use colonoscopy. skip the drama. ask your provider or request cologuard online.

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>> announcer: a story and five words. >> greg: trumps awesome ultimatum to hamas -- even when it comes to stuff like this he is hilarious. i will read you some of his -- what he posted on truth social. hello hamas.

it means hello and goodbye. you can choose. release all hostages now, not later and immediately return all dead bodies of the people you murdered or it is, in caps, over for you. only sick and twisted people keep a bodies and you are sick and twisted. then he goes on and basically said if you hold on hostages, you are dead. make a smart decision, released the hostages now or there will be hack to pay later. [cheering and applause] >> i didn't think that could be funny but you somehow made the whole segment about hamas fallen to comedy, somehow. he is doing what he told you he was going to do. he told the american people that

he is going to bring our people back and that is what he is doing. if trump was an office, russian never would have invaded ukraine , you would not have the israeli and hamas situation right now. so he is saying look, number 1 was zelenskyy and the situation with hamas, don't dictate the terms. number 2, don't think you know more than he does and number 3, he is saying he is not playing around. so that is my best advice. if you want more you can dm me after the show and i will discuss my fees. >> greg: excellent! while, she asked me to dm her. you know, jim, the opening line is one of the best lines ever. it means hello and goodbye, you can choose. i mean, that is some stellar -- he is probably not appreciated for his writing because even when he makes mistakes, you are just drawn -- it is amazing writing.

>> i think he said i have to open strong. he says let me get them right off the back. in their defense, i don't know if they have truth social so i don't know if they saw that. >> that's a good point. >> they don't want to turn on any devices after they blow up. but look, they have a lot of hostages but i guess with doge they can get it down to 23. all right all right. >> greg: i was wondering where you were going with that and realize nowhere good. kennedy, what do you make -- i think we can pretty much assume that all of hamas is going to be dead at some point. >> we can assume that about all of us, greg. >> greg: i will live forever in the hearts and minds of the american people. >> i just read something on instagram today that if you have large thighs, you have a much higher chance of living longer. you have big thighs, big beefy

thighs? >> i have muscular quads r have you been on my only fans? just nothing but quads. >> the restraining order for bids me from following you on social media, friend. i think hamas is a problem. i think it is populated by very unkind people. to jim's point, there are still five americans that they are holding. and he is the big president and that's unnecessarily good. he's not with those people that like, i will never engage the enemy with any kind of fire or weapons, i will sit and pray on my rosary. no, he's like i'm board, i'm just going to start launching [bleep] up your whole and you can hope for the best and i hope there is a proctologist left in gaza because it's not going to be prissy -- pretty. >> greg: it won't be pretty. and we can safely say that. speaking of never pretty, jamie...

yeah,... >> he just had a haircut. for real in the green room. it was his back hair but still... [laughter] >> greg: jaimee, what do you make of this post? >> first of all, and i just say i have been to greg's only fans and what kennedy wrote is correct, he will live forever. it is a serious situation so it is hard to make light of it. it's hard. like a terrorist walks into a bar, they explode, [bleep]. honestly man, i feel like they have to be careful -- by the way, i did like trumps message but if you like we could have gotten it done in 140 characters. not to be critical. at some of it, like it's over for you and you are dead... pick one. if you like both of those say the same thing. not to be critical. but i feel like he is the guy that does what he says he will do. even where you read today, hamas

responded, it doesn't matter. and ultimatum doesn't require a response. it's not like biden. it's not like -- he says -- you remember he says i'm never going to drop out of the race and they're chanting four more years and the next day he tweets i'm out of the race. this is not -- by the way, if you back that clip up the one upon about where they're chanting four more years, they just asked him and he said what you think the maximum amount i will live is? but i think kennedy is right. mess around and find out. >> greg: i think we will end it there and move on to something else for more than a decade farxiga has been trusted again and again, and again. [crowd chant] far-xi-ga ask your doctor about farxiga. ♪ join thousands of advertisers who have built their businesses, reaching america's most influential audience.

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questions, it's adorable. so bravos host proves that his brain is toast. andy cohen has come under fire for downplaying the awful impact of men playing in women's sports periods comments came ahead of trumps joint address to congress where one of the honored guest was a female volleyball player who was brain-damaged by a trans opponent. her bravery was praised on twitter but that was just too much for andy's woman hating heart to take, responding, quote, surprised you were buying into the vilification of the trans community given the real problems happening in the country. your previous allyship -- i love that were -- of the lgbt community and it only affects about four people in this country. i'll bite. if it's only four people than why does he care? sounds like andy is the one with brain trauma periods premise dismisses the real concerns of millions of women and girls. one that is easily refuted by simple math. one athlete affects hundreds, teammates, opposing teams,

families and fans multiplied over every competition. and avon factored in how many women saw leah thomas is junk. it is exponential growth unlike the ratings for andy [bleep] shows. but it raises the question, is andy worse for women than osteoporosis? it's an interesting question. i say yes. this is a guy who makes millions showing women at their worst. drunk, screaming, vindictive and petty. and now he makes up stats to downplay female victims. if he was any worse for women, he would be on the view. >> announcer: ! [applause] >> greg: kennedy! how are you? is he the worst thing to happen to women? >> no, i think that trend of hard nips and tight shirts is the worst thing to happen to

women. and it one is like no, just don't wear a. and it's like come on... i think that's worse. and also, i don't agree that you have to be pro-men in women's sports in order to be an ally of the lgbt community. i think you can be an ally and have friends and family members and speak up for them and defend them and embrace them as part of your family and community and still go, well maybe we shouldn't be putting girls at risk. and any dad, any mom, doesn't matter your whatever, if you have a girl in sports, you want to protect her. and i've talked to a lot of people about this. and i think that there is a distinction to be made -- you can still be pro-trans and support your trans friends and not necessarily want people who are bigger, stronger, faster potentially hurting someone.

and also if it were that big of a deal, then why doesn't every governing body stand up and say this isn't a big deal so let's just keep the four people over here and start a league for them and still say that there is sanctity in women's sports? >> greg: good point. jim, you have been following this issue closely, avenue? >> i have. the only way this will come to a head where one is going to agree, a man has to transition to a woman, joined the wnba and score 150 points a night. that's when they will go all right, enough. we have to stop this. >> greg: i disagree because that would make the wnba interesting. >> i think if i transitioned i could score 30 points a night. >> greg: there is still time. >> yes there is. i'm not going to listen to andy cohen, use the host of the real housewives? what does he know. but he is in trouble now which is great. >> greg: what happened? >> because of what he said, is getting flack. it would be great justice if you

got fired and caitlyn jenner took his job. [applause] >> greg: do you watch real housewives, jamie? >> i didn't even get to see an actual girl that's a housewife. not even just the show, yeah. >> greg: brings back bad memories, doesn't it? >> it does. any show with with families, i can't watch. [laughter] he said it was a nonissue that affects four people. once again to leave this at the same thing about my comedy in the hollywood reporter once. but my question is, isn't one girl with brain damage enough? say you took him at his word, wouldn't that be enough? can i give a little piece of advice? if you are a man that is playing on a women's team, take a little off the ball. you naughty mean? stop dominating. just win by a little bit.

>> greg: it's interesting that they don't care. they still play like they are playing against dudes. >> if i played my daughter in basketball and just tried to crush her, that would be inappropriate. but i let her win by a little bit. even by little bit, that's all i'm saying. but for real, she was ahead by five hours and that cross country. of my kids did you cross-country, even without guys competing against my daughter, it is the worst spectator sport for a parent ever made. because i drive to alaska, six hours to the cross-country meet in my daughter's like, by and then just runs away. there is nothing to watch. >> greg: that's terrible, women just keep running from you. >> it shouldn't even be a political issue. i mean what "the new york times" is saying 80% of americans do not want men playing in women's sports. i don't even know why there is such a big debate about it. so yes, you want to do weird

things behind closed doors and in your own private life, that's fine, who cares? but when you interfere with other people's lives, you have gone too far. >> greg: the media and democrats were cowards. they were afraid of the activists which amplify their voice beyond their actual impact so they have all just let this unravel. they took a fact that boys and girls are different and they twisted it into some bizarre delusion and then they try to force it on the rest of us and now it is coming back to haunt them like a trans a ghost. there is an idea for a cartoon. casper? it doesn't work. up next, democrat embarrasses herself again.

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>> greg: she was on the hunt for a publicity stunt. and her scuffle with the house oversight chair that happened in front of mayors of century city's were brought before congress to testify about how their failed policies have only made illegal immigrant crime like murder worse. watch. >> i would like to seek unanimous consent to enter into the record, this article. this is a survivor of sexual violence myself, this is from courts, march 2018. >> with that objective so ordered. >> data from texas shows that u.s. -- >> that's an objection. we put it in the record. >> let me proceed. data from texas shows that u.s.-born americans -- commit more assault and murder than immigrants. >> this trend of you all trying to get thrown out of committee so you can get on msnbc is going to end. we will not put up with it. [shouting]

>> as a survivor of sexual violence i will enter into the record, this is my right! thank you! >> no! [laughter] >> greg: sure is [bleep] that clipped did find its way on msnbc but they spun it this way. >> there was a moment where congresswoman pressley of massachusetts tried to enter something into the record and read these headlines and she was shut down. this woman couldn't even enter the headline into the record. the headline that had some facts to it. >> greg: when you watch msnbc it is like you are watching two lonely people in an airport lounge just talking about stuff nobody cares about anymore, it's fantastic. >> and it's only two lonely people watching that stuff. when i first saw this clip i thought why is this guy yelling at dave chappelle?

[laughter] >> greg: terrible! terrible! [laughter] heather, is he kind of write that none of this really works anymore? i mean it's like the people that think this is heroic are no longer watching msnbc anyway. >> exactly. i guess she was just trying to make a spectacle of herself or the issue which, again is a nonissue about century city's. byron donalds brought up a good point in the hearing. we didn't see that part because it wasn't as comical. but he is saying, hey,, i saw children on busses being sent -- unaccompanied minors from el paso to san francisco and san diego all over the country to disperse them so that the american people won't really see to try to hide what a big problem this is. and you know what? the american people are not dumb, they saw through these issues and that is why trump won the overwhelming majority in this election.

he won because of the open border issue in the century city's. >> greg: jaimee, who won the tussle? >> i don't know if anybody one. i haven't heard people talk over each other like that since my wedding when they were lakes now forever hold your peace. and i disagree, only thing it does a great khaki saying people are trying to make a ruckus to be able to get on msnbc, i think to get a show on msnbc just ask for one. >> greg: the whole point about us upset about century city's is that it protects criminals and then she used herself as victim status to argue on behalf of coddling criminals. >> but also, the big problem people have a century city's is that they are taking people who commit sexual violence and letting them go. like she should be more outraged by this than anyone. >> greg: so this goes back to you, which is that the reason why they are against these things is because trump is for them. so it forces them into a corner.

>> it's really stupid. >> greg: they are trumped arrangement strategy has forced them -- >> you are advocating against the very thing you should before >> greg: exactly. up next, more stupid advice from sunny. if you have heart failure or chronic kidney disease, farxiga can help you keep living life, because there are places you'd like to be. (♪) serious side effects include increased ketones in blood or urine and bacterial infection between the anus and genitals, both which may be fatal, severe allergic reactions, dehydration, urinary tract or genital yeast infections, and low blood sugar. stop taking and tell your doctor right away if you have nausea, vomiting, stomach pain, tiredness, rash, swelling, trouble breathing or swallowing. tell your doctor about lightheadedness, weakness, fever, pain, tenderness, redness or swelling between the anus and genitals. ask your doctor about farxiga today. ♪ far-xi-ga ♪ (♪)

>> announcer: our view on the

view. >> greg: son he is still sour because the democrats aren't in power. view cohost sonny was disappointed by the democrats during the trump speech because they didn't walk out in unison when that disheveled mass salad green was thrown out. rolled it. >> what i saw when representative al green stood up and said you don't have a mandate to take away medicaid and he was tossed out, i expected the rest of his democratic caucus, his colleagues to walk out with him. alone you can survive but together you thrive, that is the energy we need to. they have stood with him in solidarity. >> greg: i think she is being a little harsh on the dems, perhaps they were too scared to leave the capital. it's the only safe place in the city full of democrats.

jamie, do you agree or disagree with the view? >> i always disagree with the view now and forever. i have never -- by the way, where they finding crowds like that? and i have those guys come to my shows? they clap and everything. i am always very confused whenever i see someone shake a cane. i feel like if you went to the doctor and you go can you please shake this cane and you shook it, they would go good news, you don't need a cane. [laughter] [applause] >> greg: heather, are you glad to see al green censured? >> yes. i think is the only noncomedian on the show, i couldn't hear what he said and let me break it down just to have some factual background or economic content. what this is about his trump is passing -- you would like to pass 4.5 trillion dollar tax cuts. to offset that he wants 1.5

filling dollars in spending cuts to offset some of these tax cuts. so he is saying you will eliminate medicaid, trumpet said to be clear, that he is not going to touch medicaid. if they do it will be in waste, fraud and abuse. think of doge. if you are worried about what is under the hood, may be spending on stuff they shouldn't be spending on. that is all the g.o.p. and republicans are looking at is let's cut some of the wasteful spending. he's not saying he is going to eliminate it. so just remember, the same people that are saying don't look over here, look over here are those that wanted to hire 87,000 irs agents to audit you. just remember that. [applause] >> greg: jim, you imagine how miserable it must be at the view since this election? everything they hate seems to be coming true. except rump is not a fascist. i guess what i mean is they are being proven wrong and

everything that's happening. >> i don't know why people aren't walking out on the view tapings. how is that not happening? that should be. and sonny can say that but meanwhile there is some stuff going on with the view. she wouldn't walk out, that's their job. so there's some behind-the-scenes stuff, she would walk out on the show. >> greg: the only time they walk out is if the food in the green room isn't up to par and they don't have sardines. >> why they still on the air? because she said that if trump got it off is the view would be canceled and i'm still waiting. bill mar and if you would be off the air. and we're still waiting. >> greg: he was going to come after everybody, that was the prediction. kennedy, it was interesting about the view is they are repeatedly wrong on everything. generally if you are a normal person you think maybe my filter for life is off if every time i wake up i am always disappointed. may be change your filter. >> can you imagine how nasty the filtration system is there? it's so gross.

i think first is cloudy because she is not sunny at all. she has quite a miserable disposition and if someone had done that to joe biden, if a republican had shaken their cane at joe biden, she would have called for their assassination. she would not be like, republicans good for you, such a hypocrite. >> greg: very much a hypocrite. i don't know she would call for an assassination, i'm discovering your base. >> i meant character assassination... thank you for clarifying that, that's what i meant. >> greg: that's why i'm the host. we will be right back. congratulations. here are the keys. congratulations. here's the water heater that somehow passed inspection

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