kevin: this guy thinks he's in trouble now, but wait until nigel lythgoe-- okay, hold on. judy: she, uh, basically was not "intimidated"-- i can't talk today. she was not "intimitated." "intimitated." nick: what is this ? ( bleep ) actor's studio ? judy: i think you're a dumb criminal, okay ? todd: i wanna know, where's the panic button ? ( man sneezing ) kevin: bless you. michael: ahh. tonya: atm stands for "automatic teller machine." and it's... ( bleep ). nick: that'll get on. that was nice and clean nick: that'll get on. that was nice and clean and slightly funny. captioned by soundwriters™ narrator: you saw them get caught. officer: i got you on radar doing 50. man: i was not doing no 50 ! narrator: now they get their day in court. man: i'm fighting back ! narrator: first this couple got engaged. man: we were in mexico at the time. dave: this is your fiancé ? woman: yes. narrator: but now he's enraged. man: i didn't do it. find the guy who did. hire another cop and pull the ( honk ) vehicle over. dave: you're out of line. narrator: plus this sassy brunette wants to go

to law school. woman: who does this happen to ? are you kidding me ? narrator: but maybe she should start thinking about traffic school. woman: observed-- it's-- bluh ! dave: i'm sorry-- what did you say ? woman: bluh ! narrator: they're fighting mad. dave: let's do this. narrator: right now on "speeders fight back." dave: guilty. man: what kind of kangaroo court dave: guilty. man: what kind of kangaroo court is this ? dave: my name is dave heilmann. i not only rule in this court... guilty. ... but i'm also the mayor of this town. as the father of three, keeping the roads safe is one of my top priorities. it's court time. jim: i'm jim, and i got a ticket and i'm fighting back. me and my girlfriend, stephanie, and i recently got engaged, and we took a trip to mexico to celebrate. and when we got home, i had a ticket in the mail for turning on a red light. i wasn't the guy driving the car, so i don't deserve the ticket !

stephanie: i thought it was really unfair that he could get a ticket, and he wasn't even in the country. jim: i have my own landscape business, so my employees often drive my trucks. man: jim lets me borrow his truck, but i did not run that red light. man: it was not me in jim's truck. man: i was not in that truck. jim: you can't tell who's driving that truck. gimme a break ! do i think the cameras are accurate ? i'm exhibit "a" why they're not accurate. the only thing i'm guilty of is drinking one too many margaritas while i was on the beach in mexico. narrator: it's been a month since james' vacation, and he's ready to beat this ticket like a piñata. jim: they ain't getting 100 bucks from me. dave: good afternoon. you understand you're here for a violation for turning on a red light. you wanna tell me what happened that day ? jim: i was accused of making a right turn on a red light, and i wasn't even here. i was out of the country at the time. i brought my passport to prove that we were in mexico at the time. we were engaged, and we were

celebrating in mexico for her birthday and the engagement. dave: this is your fiancé, stephanie ? stephanie: yes. jim: we have our pictures from mexico. dave: could you bring forward the items they have ? these are your photos ? proving that you were in mexico ? jim: yes. dave: couple of cervezas here ? what else do you have ? jim: piñata. dave: hand me that ? here. now, is this for me to keep ? is this a souvenir ? jim: it depends how i'm found. dave: is there candy in there ? stephanie: no, not yet. ( record scratching ) dave: you brought me an empty piñata ? did you receive a red-light ticket ? jim: when we got back, i received the photo saying i had a red-light violation. i'm self-employed also. i have people that drive my vehicles. every time they go through a light like this, i'm gonna get the ticket ? that's not-- that shouldn't be. it's wrong, it's not right. you have to prove that i was the driver of the vehicle, i think. dave: you're aware that a videotape is made of the turn, correct ?

well, we actually have that tape, so we're gonna play that tape in court, all right ? okay. so did you see the vehicle turn right there ? jim: sure. dave: was it on a red light ? jim: yes. dave: were you able to see that from the screen ? jim: yeah, but were you able to see me driving that car ? i wasn't in it. dave: i get to ask the questions, though. jim: all right, then. dave: well, we have an expert in court today, officer acke. does it matter who's driving the vehicle when these red-light citations are issued ? acke: the photo-enforcement violations, no, it does not matter who was driving the vehicle. dave: it does not matter who was driving the vehicle. jim: another new law that you guys just made up ? make some quick money or what ? acke: this is the illinois vehicle code. it says that "for each violation "of a provision of this code "or a local ordinance, "shall issue a written notice of "the violation to the registered "owner of the vehicle as the alleged violator." dave: did you understand what he said ? the law states that it doesn't matter who's driving the vehicle, you heard that.

jim: it does matter who's driving the vehicle. what if someone came into my house and took a knife and killed somebody with the knife. am i responsible for that murder ? dave: well, it's a little different situation, don't you think ? nice try with the knife argument. but a car is like a gun. if you're the owner of it, you can be held liable for it. jim: i'm not gonna be responsible for every ticket one of my employees get or anybody. dave: why not ? jim: why should i ? i didn't do it ! dave: well, why are you letting them drive your car ? jim: i don't know who did it. that's up to you to figure out. dave: oh, i have to figure that out ? jim: the burden of proof lies on the cameras. prove that i was driving that truck ! dave: the burden of proof is on the camera ? jim: sure ! dave: well, you understand the camera's not human, right ? jim: prove that i was driving that truck ! dave: okay, you need to bring your voice down-- now ! jim: fine, but i did not do it. dave: the law says that it's the vehicle's owner who gets the citation. jim: why should my name be on here ? i did not do it. dave: because it's the law.

jim: right. it's the law. dave: it's the law. jim: you guys can create more laws every day to make everything better for you guys, so little villages-- dave: okay, i've had enough. was there anything else you wanted to tell me ? jim: no, that's pretty much about it. dave: all you have told me today as far as this law is, is that it is your vehicle that-- and we all saw it run that red light, so i am going to find you guilty, and the fine is $107. jim: i'm not paying it. i'm not paying it. i didn't do it. i'm not paying it. stephanie: and now what happens if we don't pay it ? what's the consequence on that ? dave: the fine will double. jim: double it. you could double it, do whatever you want with this. i didn't do this. i didn't do it. find the guy who did. hire another cop and pull the ( honk ) vehicle over. let me borrow your car a minute. i'm gonna go make a couple quick turns, see who gets a ticket. they gonna mail it to you or me ? dave: you're out of line. stephanie: now for sure you don't get the piñata. ( laughing ) jim: ( honks ), man. ( honk ) ticket for-- i didn't do the ( honk ). stephanie: stop it !

jim: no, that's bull( honk ). let the ( honk ) judge pay for the damn ticket ! we'll go drive his car. where're we parked ? dave: i can't believe they took the piñata back. narrator: coming up, this driver is headed to law school. or maybe not. take matters into your own hands. autozone is the one place with the expertise... you need to get the job done right. because "do it yourself" doesn't mean you have to do it alone. get in the zone. autozone.

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woman: we're here at traffic court today to fight back ! my boyfriend, steve, drove me to work because his car was in the repair shop. about an hour after i was at work, steve called me to let me know that i had a flat tire. so when steve gets back from dropping off the damaged tire, a police officer is writing me a ticket for only having three tires on my car. of course i only have three tires on my car. the fourth one has an allen wrench key in it. who does this happen to ? are you kidding me ? does this look like a crime ? steve: he didn't wanna hear it. he just wanted to write me a damn ticket. woman: i'm gonna go to law school one day, so i do know the law, and i will prove this in traffic court. ( glass breaking )

i'm gonna fight my ticket and i'm gonna win ! i'm feeling real good. steve: we're gonna show the mayor what's really going on. dave: good afternoon. woman: good afternoon. dave: you're here because you were issued a citation by the village of oak lawn for having only three tires on your vehicle ? what is your response to that ? woman: i think it's a joke, actually. i think it's actually ridiculous. my car was parked on private property. what had happened was he drove me to work and came back home. he noticed that there was a little skinny piece hanging out of it that ended up being an allen wrench. dave: there was an allen wrench stuck in the tire ? woman: it was like this big. dave: how did it get there ? woman: we must have ran it over. dave: what do you do for a living ? woman: i actually go to school and i work at a car dealership, but i do plan on going to school to be a lawyer. dave: okay, obviously you brought something in today to show me-- what is this ? woman: i did. i actually had brought in a time line... showing...

with my handy-dandy pointer. dave: is that an antenna ? woman: yes. i had to, you know, substitute. it works. dave: be careful with that thing. woman: okay, so at 9:05, that's when he observed, obsessed, and began the remedy of the situation. dave: i'm sorry-- what did you say ? woman: observed-- bluh ! observed, assessed, and began the remedy of the situation. dave: who did ? woman: he did. because i wasn't with him because i was actually at work. and then at 9:20, he left and started walking to the tire place to get it fixed, and then from 9:20 to 10:30 is some time whenever the cop wrote the ticket. dave: can you tell me what you have written on there ? 'cause it's hard to read from over here. woman: arrived at the auto parts store and purchased the required "add-meneties" to repair-- dave: amenity ? what is it, the word you're trying to say there ? amenities ? woman: amenities. it's coming out wrong. dave: yeah.

that's because it's spelled wrong too, but that's all right. but what is it you mean by that ? woman: to get the information from the vehicle, for my tire, to see if it actually needed to be-- if we could repair it, or if we had to actually go and buy a new tire. dave: do you know what "amenities" are ? woman: no. dave: okay. woman: but that's what happened. dave: that's why you go to law school, right ? woman: yes, you have to learn that. dave: like when a hotel has a pool and an exercise area, they talk about the amenities at the hotel. do you understand something... woman: oh ! dave: yeah, it has all these nice things. they usually don't talk about things like, you know, a patch or a plug for a tire. it's not really how we use the word "amenities." and that's kind of important if you're gonna go to law school. woman: definitely. narrator: it's time for judge dave's ten-second law school. dave: your exhibits should be accurate, don't you think ? woman: definitely. dave: and you should be able to pronounce the words that you bring before the court, right ? woman: definitely. dave: i suppose you could have

walked in and said, "there was a problem with the "tire and so he went down and-- "walked down the street to get "it fixed, then came back, "and during that time, the police issued a ticket." versus, the amenities for the said situation. woman: ( giggling ) dave: so i am going to enter a finding of not guilty. woman: thank you. dave: you can take your amenities with you. woman: oh ! dave: i would recommend a few grammar classes before she starts law school. woman: yes, not guilty ! they could throw around any legal terms as possible, but all i understood was that i was not guilty. i don't have to pay that stupid ticket. steve: that's right. justice was served. woman: "add-menities." i can't even get the stupid word out. i was like, what does it actually mean ? narrator: coming up, this guy tries to pull a snow job on the judge. man: he wrote more tickets in one night than an entire winter. depression is a serious medical condition

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you've got some pretty important reasons to eat better. so now 23 campbell's chunky soups have 100% lean meat and a full serving of vegetables. a man's gotta eat. he just wants to eat better. campbell's chunky. rick: hi, my name's rick. i got some parking tickets,

and i'm gonna fight back ! narrator: he's got his evidence and he's got that beard. will it be enough to win the case ? rick: here we go again with this stupid village. every time i turn around, it's something. this time, snow-route tickets. this particular sign here's gonna end up costing me $225. where do you want me to park ? you show me where you want me to put these vehicles. and i am ticked. i've been here since fourth grade. i got more time in this city than the mayor does. i might look old, but i still have plenty of fight left in me. dave: this is the case of the village of oak lawn vs. ricky. good morning to you, sir. you have been cited for illegally parking on a snow route in the village of oak lawn. what is your defense to that ? rick: the problem here is i live on a snow route, and it's kind of ridiculous because there's absolutely no place to park.

i'd be more than happy to show you... that on this particular night, there was actually no snow at all. now, i don't know if the village owns a doppler radar, but i know i don't. ( all laughing ) the only thing i can do is count on the tv station. and when the tv station says "no accumulation," i'm gonna leave my vehicle on the street. dave: so i know it didn't call for an accumulation, but you do admit that the weatherman in chicago has been wrong before, right ? rick: yes, i do. but by showing you the report from the paper that there's no accumulation, that these tickets should be thrown out of court. that's what i think. the only thing that we received, your honor, was a dusting. dave: well, what is your definition of an accumulation vs. a dusting ? rick: according to the village and the sign, it says an inch or better, there's no parking

on the street. my tickets are perfectly dry. luckily, it didn't snow. otherwise this one that was on the ground would've been covered in the snow, and i'd have never found it. dave: when did you get the ticket ? rick: about a month ago. dave: so i would think they'd dry off in a month, don't you ? do you think that by giving me dry tickets, that tells me that there wasn't an inch of snow in front of-- rick: no, what i think is one doesn't even look like it got wet at all, the other one's trashed out. i've been here for 40 years, your honor, and in 40 years, i've never received one of these. he wrote more tickets in one night on this particular street than he has the entire winter. dave: well, so i understand when you're talking about the whole neighborhood, aren't the signs for that whole neighborhood ? what is that ? rick: this is a picture of the neighborhood. i live on a snow route. dave: okay. rick: if it's not snowing,

i can't park on this side of the street between 9:00 and 10:00. now, on the other side of the street, now there's no parking from 1:00 to 2:00. can't park on this street because of businesses. i can't park around the corner. i can't park there. you can't park here. so i'm kind of like at mercy of the village to show me a place where i can park. dave: did you talk to anybody else about their ticket ? rick: yes, i did talk to one other-- dave: what'd they say ? rick: she said that she paid 'cause she didn't have the time to come up here to deal with "yous." dave: first of all, you have the weather forecasts, and you believe that you're entitled to rely on the forecasts in chicago. i don't know how strong of an argument that is 'cause the weather does change pretty quickly here. you brought me your tickets. you think they would look differently if they were under snow. is that right ? then you've shown me your diagram here of where you live and the fact that you can't park on the street in front of your house. okay, despite the fact that

there's some holes in your defense, i might surprise you with my verdict. i happen to agree with you. we should not be giving these tickets on a snow route at 1:30 in the morning. because people don't know when they're sleeping, regardless of the weather forecast. i'm gonna find you not guilty. rick: all right ! you're a wise man. i can see why you're the mayor. hope you're here until i retire. yeah ! now, that's what i'm talking about ! dave: you know, once in a while, a defendant does make a good argument. once in a while. rick: today, i brought the damn storm, and it was the court that got the snow job. narrator: coming up... how'd this guy get past the metal detectors ? dave: where are we gonna get darts ? man: i have darts. dave: you have darts ?

you disgust me. prove it. (announcer) enough's enough. d-con baits are fifty-percent stronger than the competition, and can kill in one feeding. d-con. get out.

alan: hi, my name is alan. i got a ticket for speeding, but i'm fighting back ! narrator: we first met alan when he was speeding home with pizza for the family. acke: i got you on radar doing 50. narrator: while alan's pizza defense didn't work with the officer, he's sure he'll be found not guilty in 30 minutes or less. alan: i'm on my way to court. i'm gonna beat this ticket. i drive for a living. i know these streets probably better than the cop. moment of truth, baby. dave: officer acke, can you please state what this case is about ? acke: i observed a silver chevy lumina traveling much faster than the rest of traffic. i activated my radar and learned that his vehicle was traveling at 50 miles per hour. dave: mr. carter, what do you

have to say about that ? alan: i'm a professional driver. i drive for a living, so i know the streets like the back of my hand. dave: okay. and that's it ? alan: yeah. dave: how fast were you traveling ? alan: i was doing 30. dave: is this your first time through oak lawn ? alan: i've been back and forth to oak lawn and out west all my life, so i know the streets. dave: you brought something in. is this to show me ? alan: this is to show you-- i throw a dart, i'll tell you the speed limit. dave: is that right ? if you throw a dart at that, you know the speed limit ? alan: exactly. dave: where are we gonna get darts ? alan: i have darts. dave: you have darts ? with you ? alan: yes. dave: can i see them ? it's not something we do every day. you understand that ? alan: oh, i understand. dave: okay, all right. go ahead. alan: 30 miles per hour. dave: 30 miles per hour. officer acke ? acke: it's on austin and 92nd. 25 miles per hour. dave: 25 miles per hour. that's a problem, isn't it ? so if you were going 30 and it was 25, you would be what ? alan: speeding. dave: you got it, right ? let's try it again. what's that ?

alan: 30 miles per hour. dave: officer acke ? acke: that's 30 miles per hour. dave: all right, so you just-- you just killed someone in a pool. you're not saying you drive here, right ? or on someone's lawn ? it wouldn't be a good idea. last chance, here you go. all right, what's the speed limit ? alan: 25 miles per hour. dave: officer acke ? acke: 25. dave: 25 miles an hour. so you're pretty good at darts. i saw what you were able to do. any other exhibits you wanna bring before me before i make a ruling ? alan: yes, i'd like to present exhibit "b." dave: go ahead, present it. do you think this is a joke ? alan: i have two pieces here. i want you to taste one. you tell me which one that you prefer. dave: do you do this a lot in courts ? you know, bring in food and things like that ? there's not fish on any of these, are there ? i mean, we'd lock someone up if they put fish on a pizza. alan: well, don't lock me up. good pizza. my pizza got cold and i was trying to feed my family. dave: oh, is that what this is about, which one is cold ? what does that have

to do with speeding ? alan: my pizza was cold. dave: you can go back to the podium. alan: thank you. dave: did you ever have a problem before with your driving record ? alan: mmm, no. not since... '02, i believe. dave: actually, you've got nine convictions on your record that i'm looking at. alan: nine tickets ? dave: nine convictions total. alan: i didn't know that. dave: can you tell me about those ? you're a professional driver. alan: i can't remember them. dave: there's seat belts, there's speeding. there's a-- you failed to stop at a stop sign. seems like over and over again, you're having some problems with the traffic laws. i do appreciate the fact that you know the speed limits, but the pizza, now that i think about it, that might be the lamest excuse i've ever heard. you leave me no choice. we've got a radar that says you were going 50. you have a record of nine convictions. i am going to find you guilty.

$200. community service, one month, delivering meals to seniors and those in need. thank you. alan: thank you. man, this is crazy ! i just gave this judge pizza, i just gave him-- played darts with him ! dave: now, who forgets that they have nine moving violations ? nine. and frankly, i like pizza hot or cold. alan: man, i don't wanna pay $200 ! what kind of kangaroo court is this ? what kind of kangaroo court is this ? this is some bull( bleep ) ! captioned by soundwriters™ narrator: you saw them get caught. officer: do you know how fast you were going down cicero ? narrator: now they get their day in court. man: i'm here in traffic court to fight back. narrator: first, this speeder pushes judge dave to the limit. man: i know he's lying, you're lying. dave: get out of my courtroom. man: this is bull( honk ) ! narrator: plus, this defendant gets sold out by her own daughter. dave: has your mom been late before ? girl: yes. woman: oh. narrator: they're fightin' mad. man: i'm not paying nothing ! man: i still don't see

why i even got a ticket. narrator: right now on "speeders fight back." man: ( honk ) ! i'm not paying ( honk ) ! get this ( honk ) camera i'm not paying ( honk ) ! get this ( honk ) camera out of my face ! closed captions provided by trutv dave: my name is dave heilmann. i not only rule in this court... guilty. ... but i'm also the mayor of this town. i like to have fun, but when it comes to the law, i don't mess around. it's court time. jeff: my name is jeff. i got a ticket and i'm here in traffic court to fight back. narrator: we first met jeff when he received a speeding ticket for doing 52 in a 35. officer: sir, i stopped you speeding. you were doing 50 in a 35-mile-an-hour zone. jeff: the speed limit's 45 at the top of the hill. i'm just coming home, coming from my house, going to my mom's house, and then this ( honk ) happens. i don't care what happens, i'm about to snap. i'm gonna see you in court and i'm about to bring the pain. hell, yeah, this is some ( honk ). all these cops out here are full of ( honk ).

i'm in here to fight a ticket for something i didn't even do. they got a speed trap talking about 45 in a 35. i'm about to win this case. dave: this is the city of markham vs. jeff. you were given a citation, sir, for going 50 in a 35-mile-per-hour zone. officer, what happened that day ? officer: your honor, i was doing stationary radar when i observed a 2000 gray lincoln break my radar beam at 50 miles an hour in a 35-mile-an-hour zone. dave: what's your response to that, sir ? jeff: my response is that this officer is bull( honk ). dave: whoa, whoa, whoa ! i don't wanna hear that language in here. jeff: the officer is full of it, okay ? this right here is a speed trap. you don't see the 35-mile-per-hour sign until you're damn near 200 yards away. at that moment, he's sitting there waiting on you to clock you, saying you're speeding. this is actually a model of the hill on 159th. when i actually see the sign that says 35 miles per hour, i'm still doing 45 miles per hour, but you don't see this until,

like, 200 yards later. dave: officer, let me ask you this. where does the speed limit change ? muldrow: the speed limit actually changes at the sign. i think what the defendant's issue was is that he wasn't focused on what he was doing. jeff: first of all, he wasn't focused. when we get over the hill, he was on the phone ! i have a witness. he'll tell you i wasn't speeding. if you let me bring him up here, he'll explain to you. dave: bring your witness up. what do you wanna tell me ? richard: this officer here, all he do is try to entrap people. dave: this isn't about the officer. do you have any proof to show me that he wasn't speeding that day ? richard: i was in the car. dave: well, did you see the speedometer ? richard: you need to just pay this ticket, 'cause he ain't helping us. jeff: i'm not paying ( honk ) ! richard: he's helping the officer, he not helping us. jeff: we know he's in cahoots with the officer. the officer lying-- dave: hey ! jeff: you can bang that 'til you go deaf. dave: what ? jeff: i know he's lying, you're lying. i'm not paying this. dave: you say i'm lying ? jeff: yes. dave: that's $25. jeff: it can be $55, i'm not paying it. dave: fine, it's $55 now.

jeff: 75 ! you can go high as you wanna go, i'm not paying nothing. dave: say another number. jeff: 105 ! dave: 105. jeff: 135 ! dave: do you think this is a joke ? jeff: i'm not hearing what you're trying to say, and it's like you're trying to twist my words, you're trying to put words in my mouth. dave: sit down. you sit down. dave: i wanna try to hear your side of the story, okay ? so you knew the speed limit was 45 and then you knew it changed to 35. jeff: when i drive that hill every day, like i said, i never had a problem with any police officer, so i never knew, actually, that that sign was even there until that day in question. dave: now you admit you've been driving it every day. jeff: don't twist my words, now. dave: i'm using your words. jeff: i said that every other day-- see, there you go. every other day. when i drive that hill every day... ( muldrow chuckling ) dave: that speed-limit sign is posted there every day, so why didn't you see it before ? jeff: 'cause i'm not looking off to the right over there by some damn hotel, i'm looking at the cars in front of me going to where my destination is. how the-- i noticed it that day, because he's sitting right there.

dave: okay, i've had enough. i am gonna find you guilty. jeff: guilty of what ? dave: $207. jeff: i'm not paying no 207 ( honk ) dollars. dave: get out of my courtroom. jeff: i'm not going nowhere ! dave: take him out. jeff: i'm still standing here ! this is some bull( honk ) ! i ain't paying ( honk ) ! ( honk ) this courtroom ! ( honk ) i'm not paying ( honk ). get this ( honk ) camera out of my face ! dave: when people get that angry in court, it just shows me how little control they probably exercise when they're out there driving a car. narrator: coming up, this mom's tough. woman: i drive a forklift. i think i can handle a minivan. narrator: but judge dave's even tougher. dave: is there anything that you wanna tell me that might actually help your case ? wanna keep that car running better... longer? take matters into your own hands. autozone is the e with the expertise... you need to get the job done right. because "do it yourself" doesn't mean you have to do it alone.

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woman: i'm here today to fight back ! girl: fight the power ! ( siren blaring ) officer: i'm going after this silver minivan. it's doing 55 in a 35 in the rain. do you know how fast you were going down cicero ? narrator: when officer acke pulled over ladonna, she tried to pull on his heartstrings. ladonna: yeah, well, i'm trying to get my daughter from school at 2:30. do you know how a 13-year-old girl reacts when you're late picking them up ? in the rain, ruining her hair ? narrator: officer acke didn't buy it. acke: all right, ladonna, this is a ticket, all right ? if you wanna fight it--

ladonna: i'll see you in court. narrator: now ladonna's taking her excuse to judge dave and she's bringing a little bit of sunshine to brighten up her argument. girl: i'm the cutest kid in town. how could that judge give my mom a ticket ? dave: good afternoon. ladonna: good afternoon. dave: officer acke. acke: i observed this silver windstar at a very high rate of speed. i activated my radar and determined the vehicle was traveling at 55 miles per hour. there was another police car on a traffic stop with all the lights flashing and she drove right past him at ten miles over the speed limit. dave: 55 in a 35, while it's raining and passing another squad car with the lights going. ladonna: i did see the other officer with a car pulled over. figured he was already busy... so i could just keep going. dave: where were you going, ladonna ? ladonna: i was going to pick up my daughter from school that day and i was running late.

zoomed out of the house. i was hurrying up cicero avenue. plus, with the weather-- you know, we live in chicago. the weather changes by the minute here. she'd be standing outside the school waiting for me, in the rain, freezing, and i didn't want her to do that. dave: do you have something to show me ? girl: it's a weather wheel. this is how often the weather changes. dave: so this is a weather wheel ? girl: yes. dave: okay, now, are there different rules of the road for the different weather conditions ? ladonna: i would say a good and careful driver would adapt to whatever weather that they are driving in. dave: well, i'll tell you what. i'm gonna point to one of these and you tell me when the speed limit's 35, how fast you're allowed to go. okay, so let's-- here we go. so when it's snowing, how fast can you go ? ladonna: 35. dave: when it's raining... ladonna: 35. dave: when it's sunny ?

ladonna: oh, i say, maybe 40. ( buzzer ) 39 ? ( buzzer ) dave: 39 ? where do you get 39 ? ladonna: sometimes, you know, maybe the law or the rules can be bent a little bit. dave: oh. you're asking me to bend the law just because you are late to pick up your daughter ? ladonna: well, i think under certain circumstances, the rules can be bent. dave: tell me about some other circumstances when we should just bend those rules. ladonna: well, how about an illness ? how about a pregnant lady that can't hold it or, you know... or picking up a 13-year-old pouty teenager standing in the rain from school. dave: pouty ? ladonna: show him what you looked like when i got you.

dave: have you ever been late before ? ladonna: no. dave: has your mom been late before ? girl: yes. ladonna: you're supposed to be on my side. dave: how many times ? girl: too many to count. ladonna: oh. dave: i know you told me you have an exceptional record. what does that mean ? ladonna: i think i can handle my vehicle very well. my record's clean. i'm an exceptional driver. you know, i drive a forklift, 7,000-pound forklift. i've been driving for 30 years on a dock. i think i can handle a minivan in the rain. dave: how fast does a forklift go ? ladonna: they could go up to 18 miles an hour. dave: well, how does that compare to a minivan ? ladonna: well, um... dave: is there anything that you wanna tell me that might actually help your case ? ( laughing )

i'm gonna find you guilty and order a fine of $107. don't leave your daughter in the rain. ladonna: i won't. dave: "sometimes we should bend the rules" is not a good defense in court. ladonna: how could he have not dropped that... ticket ? girl: i think it's funny my mom lost. ladonna: i was speeding trying to get you. girl: 'cause you left me out in the rain ! ladonna: next time, i'll leave you there longer. girl: whatever. narrator: coming up, his car is slick, but will his excuses stick ? man: i think he's a little jealous. ( officer laughing ) i'm just saying. wanna keep that car running better... longer?

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0= female valve: hahahaha...i am sfx:strong like the ox. i crush you like tiny clown car. because you are... ...clown, yes? female valve: come, you hit me again and i break you. male valve: oh, you messed with wrong pipe now, car. ha, ha trust me...i have to live with her. announcer:accidents are bad. but geico's good with guaranteed repairs through auto repair express. man: i got a ticket. i'm here in court today to fight back. i'm marcus and i got a ticket for riding with my car door up. officer: oh, wow, look at that. yeah, let me check him out.

marcus: 22-inch rims on here. i got a light kit underneath. it actually glows red at night. you know, i'm pulling into private property. i'm not harming anybody. i don't see why i should've got a ticket. officer: you know why i stopped you, right ? marcus: you saw that door was-- officer: yes, i-- you didn't have a seat belt on, too, man. i gave you a citation for unsafe opening the door and you weren't wearing your seat belt, okay ? you could have crashed. it was a little dangerous. marcus: i'm gonna fight this ticket and i'm gonna win. when the judge sees this, there's no way i'm paying for that ticket. hey, i may even give that cop a ride. i gotta go to court, man, for this ticket i got. dave: well, good afternoon. marcus: good afternoon, your honor. dave: what's your name ? marcus: marcus. dave: you're charged today with a citation for riding with the doors open on your vehicle. officer ebenau, can you tell me the facts of this case ? ebenau: i observed the individual driving his vehicle, flung his door open. it looked like he was halfway hanging out the side of the door, showboating.

dave: and you issued him a citation for that ? ebenau: yes, i did. dave: what is your response to that ? marcus: me and my car guys rolled up into a private-property area, threw the doors up and we were in the parking lot. it's not like i was driving down a main street. it's not like i was harming anybody or myself. dave: you do understand that even if you're on private property, you still have to obey the law. marcus: i wasn't being unsafe, i was showing off the car. ( laughing ) dave: well, whose private property was it ? marcus: well, it was a particular restaurant that i choose not to name. dave: did the restaurant give you permission to try and... fly with your car throughout their lot ? marcus: no, i didn't think i needed permission from the restaurant. dave: you just decided to do this ? marcus: i pulled into the lot, i stopped, threw my doors open where everybody was at in the front, show off a little bit. closed the doors and drove off to the back of the lot looking for a parking spot. dave: officer, is that true, what he just said ? ebenau: that is not true at all. he was in complete motion and half his body was almost out of the car. dave: half your body was out of the car, he said.

marcus: that's impossible, your honor. dave: it's impossible ? marcus: that's impossible. ebenau: and he wasn't wearing a seat belt, either. dave: is that true ? marcus: i was getting ready to get out, your honor. i was in the parking lot-- dave: while the car was moving ? marcus: no, sir, the car was not moving. ebenau: oh, wow, look at that ! dave: well, i'm just curious. have you ever driven through a community where you see this on some kind of regular basis ? because i haven't. marcus: your honor, there are parades that go on, there are car shows. this is where this takes place at. so, yes, i have. dave: were you in a parade ? marcus: my own personal parade, yeah. dave: were you in a car show ? marcus: yeah, me and my car guys. wherever we go, it's a car show. ( record scratching ) dave: what's this little thing between you and i here. marcus: oh, this ? this is my trophy. i strap it up just like i strap myself up, your honor. it's got its own little seat belt right in the back. ebenau: that is true, sir. i saw that in the back seat, strapped with the seat belt on. dave: so that had a seat belt on, but he didn't. ebenau: right. marcus: this wasn't

getting out of the car. i was ! now, your honor, i'm gonna take you through the beginning of time here. dave: the beginning of time ? marcus: since the beginning of time, men have been trying to impress women. this is early man right here with a wheel. he built a wheel, your honor. he must have knew already, since the beginning of time, he was gonna be ridin', all right ? next, your honor... ebenau: need help with that ? marcus: no, you've helped enough. next, your honor, we have frontier man, all right ? dave: what year is that supposed to be ? marcus: this is early 1800s. look at his car. he's showing it off already and then i'll take you to now time. god ( honk ). it doesn't wanna stay up. this is now man, me. dave: now, how do the doors go up like that ? marcus: well, your honor, i had that done. it's a modification. special modified car. dave: and how many women have you met because you have that car ? marcus: a whole lot. dave: how many is a whole lot ? marcus: well, let's just say it could get up into the hundreds,

if you know... dave: well, thanks for that. i'm not quite sure what that has to do with anything. so you think that officer ebenau is lying to me today ? marcus: i think he's telling an untruth, your honor. dave: what's the difference ? marcus: i think he's a little jealous. dave: of what ? marcus: the doors, the ladies, the car. dave: did you have women with you that day ? marcus: not this particular day. dave: were you driving your car and leaning out of the door with the doors open when the officer pulled you over ? marcus: no. dave: one more time. was the car moving ? marcus: no. dave: you've already gotten a break on the seat belt, 'cause he could have given you a ticket for that. but i am gonna find you guilty... with the recommended fine of $57 for driving with the door open. that's my order. guilty. marcus: is that it ? dave: well, i can increase it if you'd like.

what i can't believe is that that guy actually put his trophy in a seat belt, but not himself. marcus: man, this is some hot garbage. he gave me-- you know he fined me for saying i was riding in the car with the door up ? i'm getting fined, cops are giving tickets, this whole place is out of order. the whole place is out of order. that court system needs to get modified. narrator: coming up, this teenager takes contempt of court to a new extreme. dave: you're texting someone while you're in court ? boy: what's the big deal ? dave: can you believe this kid ?

brendan: hi, my name is brendan. i'm here because my son got a ticket on my car

and i'm here to fight back. narrator: brendan jr. got a ticket for not having his plates and registration sticker and brendan sr. is not happy about it. brendan: that's typical brendan. i realize that it was for something that he should have done a month ago and he didn't do it. brendan jr.: my dad's really mad, 'cause the car and the plates are actually in his name. and now so is the ticket. brendan: i have no business being here and everything-- brendan jr.: the car's in your name, so i don't really care. brendan: you're gonna care. what if i take the car away from you ? brendan jr.: oh, don't do that. then how am i gonna get to school ? i don't have to go to school. brendan: yeah, god forbid, you might have to walk. i'm bringing brendan jr. with me to court to support my case. narrator: who will win this father-and-son battle of the generations ? only judge dave can decide. brendan: let me get the door for you, too. go ahead, just walk in. dave: please state your name. brendan: brendan garrett. dave: and what is your name ? brendan jr.: brendan garrett. dave: you're here because there was a citation issued to your vehicle for lack of a registration sticker. how do you plead ? brendan: not guilty. dave: you wanna tell me why

you're not guilty, mr. garrett ? brendan jr.: 'cause the plates were visible. they just weren't on the car. they were on the windshield. dave: the plates were in the windshield ? brendan jr.: yes. i didn't have time to put 'em on. dave: why not ? brendan jr.: i'm busy. like, before school, i have football, and then i have to come home, i gotta take my nap and do my homework. dave: you take a nap ? he takes a nap ? brendan jr.: yes. dave: how long do you take a nap for ? brendan jr.: an hour or two. sometimes three. dave: mr. garrett, what do you have to say ? brendan: i think he's just lazy. i think he's responsible for his ticket. dave: what are you doing ? brendan jr.: texting. dave: texting who ? brendan jr.: my friend. dave: in the middle of a court hearing ? brendan jr.: well, yeah, and the blackhawks game just ended. dave: you're texting someone while you're in court ? brendan jr.: yeah. what's the big deal ? dave: well, i could fine you for disrespect to the court. dad, what do you think of all this ? you told me he's lazy. i mean, 'cause he takes naps, or 'cause he didn't put

the license plate in or what ? brendan: well, didn't put the license plates in. i still cut his meat. dave: you cut his meat ? brendan: he won't eat dinner unless his meat is cut. dave: as far as the license plates, which is what we are here for, dad, what do you think i should do ? brendan: i believe he should be responsible for the ticket. whatever you deem, i agree 100%. brendan jr.: no. dave: so dad says that he wants you to be fined. brendan jr.: hold on, let me send this real quick. dave: are you kidding me ? brendan jr.: i just had to text someone really quick, really fast. sorry. dave: you actually think it's okay to start texting someone in court ? brendan jr.: no, i'm done. dave: really ? so what makes you think that i would believe that you're gonna put that front plate on if you walked out of here and didn't pay anything ? brendan jr.: t-m-f-w-i.

dave: pardon me ? brendan jr.: it's texting terms. just take my word for it. dave: here's what we're gonna do. i am going to fine you $50 for texting someone while you're in court. i'm not gonna punish your dad, who is the owner of the car. it's still your responsibility, 'cause you'd be responsible for the fine. the finding will be "g." however, for lack of a registration sticker, because you don't like to pick up around the house, like your father said, you'll have to p-u-l around the p-s. figure that one out. brendan jr.: what ? dave: guilty. pick up litter... around police station. and, dad, if i were you, i'd ground him. or don't cut up his meat for a week. one of the two. brendan: okay. narrator: so brendan jr. is sentenced to picking up trash. and how does brendan sr. feel about that ? ( brendan laughing ) i think he approves. dave: he had no respect for the law, no respect for his dad