to a professor from berkeley, california. this guy is way left. this guy is way left. welcome to "red eye." it is like "my 3 sons" if you meant like the transients i met in the report. andy, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> coming up, how many employees of the securities and exchange commission have been investigated for viewing porn on their government computers? the answer is more than 1. plus iran launches a rocket into space with animals on board. we will look into the growing panic they are only 60 years behind us. and a new study shows grumpy people may be morey involved. but the morey involved people i'm the straight up original. greg? >> thank you, andy. let's pretend our love is

muses. she can spike a dream by just staring at it. she is so hot that restaurants put food under her to keep it warm. well, he knows bills like i know frills. i own three prom dresses, never worn them. he is michigan congressman thadeus mcconnor. he gets hate mail from razors. didn't know they could write. he is the swine to my flu. he is my repulsive sidekick, bill shultz in san francisco. bill shultz is slang for wrap around sunglasses. i had no idea. and he is the only sports writer who is not grotesque looking in person. new york magazine contributor -- it is true, they are all ugly people. have you seen them? his new book is called" are we winning? fathers, sons and the great game in the new century." that is a long title. it comes out in may. if intelligence were static cling, my socks would steek to

his underwear. his makes dogs retch instead of fetch. good to see you, pin. >> you know who i am glad to have on my crew? christopher drew. his copy is the op said of poo. back to you. >> well done. >> if only you were a jew. >> we have a lot of them. >> if only bernie madoff was a hot teen, the sec would have stopped his scheme. workers at the securities and exchange commission are getting distracked it from their mission of protecting investors by porn otherwise known as naked pictures of people doing weird stuff to each other. i wouldn't know. the washington times reports over the past two years more than two dozen employees of contractors have faced investigations after being found to look at sexy sites on their computers. one regional supervisor logged more than 1800 attempts to look at porn in a 17-day span.

is that a lot? >> it is 106 times. >>106 times? >> per day. >> anyway, said the supervisor, quote, it was ind could of a distraction -- it was kind of a distraction, per say. per say indeed. in similar news, some dude in australia got busted on live tv looking at sexy pictures while at work. watch what is going on behind this reporter. >> the last three that were put in place late last year. and sometimes this takes up to 6 to 9 months before you can see the affect. >> it didn't help they put the spotlight on him. >> they didn't need that. they put a spotlight behind him. >> somehow he forgot they were filming. congressman, i want to go to

you first. doesn't a -- it show that pornography is you buck hua toss. even on serious jobs where people are looking into the finance issues they are instead trying to find pleasure on the web. >> well, i don't know, greg, you can say it is ubiquitous because it sounds like a rationalization for your own behavior at work. they should look into financial sins as opposed to physical sins. >> it is true. i was making excuses for my own behavior. will, you work at home -- well, you used to work at home. >> i still do. >> it would be stupid to ask if you ever looked at porn at work. >> you mentioned before like is that a lot? >> yeah. >> maybe because i work at home, but it doesn't seem like -- i'm surprised they haven't colonized mars. there is a lot of government time. in the private sector there is more than that. >> seriously though, sometimes

when you are looking at porn it feels like you end up with a deck of cards. you click and you have 52 things open and then you sit there and keep trying to close them and somebody is coming in and you are closing them, but they are still there. resma, you are a woman. >> i am. >> believe me, we have noticed. you must be disgusted by the behavior of men. why do men need to look at this stuff when there are plenty of real beautiful women out there? >> i don't know. but i think this guy who looked at this stuff 106 times in one day needs a girlfriend really badly. >> well, maybe he is just tired of her. >> or maybe he has a bad girlfriend. >> maybe. that's true. why? i don't know, women look at porn too. >> not at this level. i bet there wasn't one woman -- maybe andy can verify this at half time if he is still around and not masterbating somewhere -- sorry about that. >> is that necessary?

>> it really was unnecessary. >> it was topical. >> it was topical. >> you need topical solution. >> i need to get back on track here. my point is i don't think there were women that were busted in this. i'm sure it was a completely male crime. bill, i have to ask you, isn't this a form of stealing? >> well, they had a fraud manage -- management guy on and i never thought of it, but it uh rm -- he alarmed me saying it is stealing. the time you are not working you are taking money for something you are not employed to do. the great thing about "red eye" 9 times out of 10 i am on the site it is for work. it is fantastic. we are on the only show on fox news that doesn't have the shows blocked out. >> most of our shows have something to do with the porn industry and how much i find it reprehensible. >> do you remember how many porn sites we had to look up for the state of the union story? oh, man.

>> i spent days condemning porn. >> that's how i got here. >> they spend so much time to stop them from looking at the porn to keep them from it. and they are not even punishing them. >> that's a good point. they are not punished. congressman, let me ask you, if you were in qlor office and you -- in your office and you found somebody was using their time unwisely like this, these guys were rep pre manded. would you have fired them? >> i think it de ends p on what the administration is going to do and what the administration entity is going to do. your guesses are right. what this is about is a waste of the taxpayer's time. you need to do something you have been employed to do. do you cheat the taxpayers out of your best efforts? i think that branch will deal with it appropriately. the best thing you can do is to make sure you don't hire individuals like that in the first place. >> you are talking about men.

>> i think it is delightful for the congressman to wear a pink tie knowing this is our first story tonight. i think that's very appropriate. >> pink ties are nice. >> people always waste time at work. if it is not this it is talking baseball or something else. >> there was a great survey earlier this week saying the amount of time a company spends trying to block these sites and make sure the company is not on facebook is more of a waste of time than their employees actually wasting time. >> well, i have to wrap this up because frankly i am getting excited. here is the issue with laptops and computers, they are now water faucets of porn. it is like having a water faucet that delivers nothing but endless sexual novelty. at some point as a country we have to face the fact and do something about it. it is causing lost work hours and changing the way men treat women. >> it doesn't matter how much you try to stop it. to paraphrase jeff gold bloom in "jurassic park" porn finds a way. >> as long as the computers

are liquid resistant. what do a dozen worms, one mouse and two turtles have in common? de besides being found in bill's lower intestines, they are claims to have launched into orbit. after releasing footage of the 10 foot long rocket launch made from tin foil, ahmadinejad reacted with his usual sober humility. said the jew in the weird beard, the scientific arena is where we can beat the west domination. the launch is a very biggy vent. this is the first presence of animals in space launched by iran. it is the start of bigger achievements. like maybe building a fort out of sofa cushions. let's look at the footage of one animal that sadly didn't make the cut.

>> what cat has its own bed? that cat is awesome jiecht that bed is better than. futon. i am angry, greg. >> congressman, on a scale of -- and omg. how concerned should america be about this development? >> well, i think we have to be very concerned. there is different types of missiles, and it would be for destructive purposes. we have recently seen not just this regime, but we have seen them execute martyrs for freedom. the engagement strategy with this regime will not work. the regime uses it to its advantage and has time to develop weapons or dual use technology that has an immediate and strategic threat to our region and the state. if we simply look and say

somehow talking to them will make this problem go away, we cannot try to engage them. what we have to do is begin to continue at pass sanctions on them. most importantly to get the chinese communists and the russians to understand this constitutes a threat not just to the west. not just to israel, but to the world. >> congressman, i agree with everything you just said, but still this is a story about turtles going into space. >> congressman, did you just filibuster a turtle in space? is that what you just did? that's a red eye first. >> everything he says is right, but i was more interested in the worms and the turtles. the worms and the turtles, congressman. i am voting for him for president. bill, i mean, this is sending worms. >> poor worms. we need some perspective here. they said after this development that maybe -- it

may be 10 years that they can put a man up into the very end of the atmosphere. that will coincidentally be around the 50th anniversary of when we went to the moon. perspective, these people are doing this with gum. it is unbelievable. the other interesting thing, they have not released the time or the day or they have not said whether these animals safely returned. there are bits of them floating above us. those guys did not make it back. we would have seen footage. >> space animal junk. >> and we are breathing it in. >> the real tragedy is that the animals never have any idea they are a part of history. they never come back and can't brag to their other animal friends. >> that's true. they can reproduce and ultimately take over. they are from iran so we know they are not gay. >> there are no gays in iran. >> there are no gay worms in iran. >> one can actually change

gender. >> they are trying to introduce sound science. >> honestly, the least magestic animals you can send, worms? seriously, they are cold blooded. what will they do in the space ship? >> not just worms, iranian worms. they are way more backward than american worms. >> and they can't vote either. that's a bad thing. the other thing is, where is peta? shouldn't peta be outraged about this? you would have to hope it would be low on the list of priorities, particularly with iran. seriously, guys, with the worms -- >> 500 million they put toward it. with everything going on right now -- >> that's 100 million for a worm. that's one rich worm. to the greg-alogue. it is a friction cone of fury. don't even know what that is. so the "lancet" medical

journal retracted a horrible study linking the measles vaccine to autism. this would be great news if the study had not come out, oh, 12 years ago. it is really scary it took a medical journal over a decade to admit with nearly everyone else with a working brain knew that the study had more gaping hopes than time sizemore's septum. although the author has been discredited, it doesn't matter. people believe in junk science and will continue to believe in junk science because their egos will not allow any other options. they will preach a dangerous and false belief that kills kid, jenni mccarthy and jim carrey who by their own idiocy mislead the public to skipping vaccinations. the result is measles outbreak all over the globe and dead kids. it is hard to make jokes about that, so i won't. but i will make jokes about carrie and mccarthy who are

making kids ill with ego-driven health advice. i am not a celebrity, i know, but here is my medical tip. when ever a star offers an opinion on important health matters with flawed studies they know a half asleep larry king won't be checking, they should be given a vaccination and full of lead and shot up their ass, twice for good measure. if you disagree with me, you must be ariana huffington. bill, did you vaccinate your kids? >> greg, would would you put me in your greg-alogue. why, greg? look, i don't want to say i am the most responsible parent in the history of responsible parents, but i am the most responsible parent in the history of parents. i have three children and i vaccinated them all not 10 years ago today. maybe not david because i was

drunk at the time. >> congressman, where do you stand on this stuff? it is all about correlation -- it is about causation and not correlation. people come out and say this stuff and then people end up dying. >> you are right, greg. what parents need to do is make ago ration information. we know studies take a longtime and they have come out and they rectified the error. you have had people come and make decisions in the best interest of the child that were not based on the best information. and then people equally uninformed or i will informed put forward an agenda. i would hope we should be hoping they would be more accurate in what they put out and be able to be put to good use by parents. >> restaurant, you are a celebrity here. should celebrities be obliged not to speak up on health matters because it might carry too much weight? >> here is the thing, it is

jenni mccarthy's kid. none is bad intentions. she really believes it. it is a prevalent, huge disorder. the power of her name she uses to help. now hopefully they are on the right path now and she can use her name -- >> she won't though. >> she should be able to speak out about it. >> last word, will, on this topic. >> whether it is bruce springsteen saying vote for obama and daddy yankee saying to vote for john mccain, it is a logical extension of that. if you listen to them about anything other than you make good music or whatever daddy yankee does. >> damn yankee. jew you are thinking the -- >> you are thinking the ted nugent band. >> it just creates a fog of confusion, and it doesn't help people. we here at "red eye" have

been perplexed, dare i say frustrated that yet defines a decent president obama impersonator. thank god for one of our robots who has been busy honing his skills and imitating our great president. take it away robot impersonator, dude. >> first, greg, thanks for asking me to be on your show. i am a big fan and try to catch it when i am not performing at the laughing tess tau cal. okay. here is my impression of president obama: hello, americans. this is an extraordinary time of our extraordinary lives, but make no mistake and let me be extraordinarily clear. it is extraordinary, but let's not kid ourselves. it is an enormous, extraordinary challenge. a 12-year-old boy named jeffrey said, president obama, please buy healthcare for poor

people. thank you, jeffrey. you are extraordinary and make no mistake. you are not a fictional character my speech writer created. if you will excuse me i must be frofed by some secure man in kentucky. that's about it from my impression. greg. i hope we are still meeting for drinks later on in the bar of and gaggle public. >> have you ever been there? two for one margaritas. >> you would go to a bar called bar of and gaggle. >> i would, wouldn't i? >> what is the latest on governor mark sanford? probably a v-vehicle sweater. loves to wear them on thursdays, fyi.

their love had everything, minus the trust and the passion and most tragically the hiking. that's according to jenni sanford, wife of mark sanford. the argentina mistress banging the governor of south carolina, in an interview with barbara walters, she told how she made a leap of faith even though he promised not -- in fact, he insisted the clause of being faithful be removed from the wedding vows. my hero. she sums up theired withed not bliss like this, quote, i would have described our marriage not as a fiery romantic marriage necessarily, but a very good, solid, steady, supportive marriage until it ended in a ball of embarassing yuckiness. here is what i was thinking about when i was reading the tele -- the tele prompter.

i don't know why i was thinking about it. if you remove from the wedding vows the marriage vow, is it still a marriage or is it a sleezy weird owe marriage for sleezy weird people? >> how many signs can she want? i feel really bad for her. she is educated, like georgetown and a banker and marries this guy. i wanted to mention the birthday present about the bicycle he drew a picture of half a bicycle and then the next time another half of a bicycle and gave her a $25 used bicycle. really? >> that was weird. >> the only thing i can think of is maybe at the time he was broke. >> do you know how expensive foreign mistresses are? you have to save where you can. >> that's a long flight. >> she for forgot. if high husband gave me a

bicycle i would like did he give it to my birthday or anniversary. i would be like, you got me a bike on december 24th. >> does this make marriage more or less appealing? will you see more marriages where it is like, i will marry you if you toss the faithful vow? >> i don't know about that. i don't know people are making that kind of decision that they are looking at anybody else and what works for them and works for us. love is a very delicate flower. we never know when it will bloom or not. when you do when you go into this is go in with your eyes open. you take the person and try to grow from there. as a matter of account fa, i think what this shows is it in many ways has become a generation and a nation that traded romance for relationships. this goes down the waiver. this is a sigh yen tiiveg

equalibrium. it is the removal of that type of vow. you have less than realistic expectations about human beings with hearts and the dreams and as aspirations can bond dought -- bond together or not. i >>- q. i don't want to talk anymore. >> i don't know what to say after that. >> what about the turtles? >> where is the turtles, that's what i want to know. a turtle and warm going into space. who benefits from this weird arrangement? guys or girls? she thinks she is getting a great arrangement because he will take care of her. but it -- >> it seems like the people of south carolina would love to have known about this clause when he gape governor. that's clearly what derailed effing.

-- everything. if you want that type of marriage, it should come with, oh, by the way, x-nay, on the no, umpeople. >> people aren't using pig latin anymore. that's one of the things that went. >> pig latin means romance. >> you know iran, they are not sending pigs into the space. >> they do not like the pigs. >> they do speak latin. we have to move on. do you have a comment on the show? i bet you do. e-mail us at red eye at fox news .com. it is so simple it will make your head explode. still to come, the half time report from tv's very own andrew levy.

tonight is sponsored by hands down the best teacher i ever had.

welcome back. let's find out if we have gotten anything wrong so far. for that we go to andy levy. andy, i ran into all sorts of animals in space except our favorite. >> i feel as badly for the unicorns as you do.

>> don't they deserve to see out of space? >> maybe they have, greg. >> peg go success have. >> sec workers investigated for porn surfing. you mentioned one of the workers said, quote, it was kind of a distraction per say. i looked it up and in latin per say means for my pea nuss. >> i use it all the time at holiday dinners. >> and you said will work at home. it would be stupid to ask if he looked at porn while at work. let me ask it a different way. bill, have you looked at porn while you were working? >> that's correct. i have done that when greg was supposed to be working. >> reshmi, you said women look at porn too. >> stop it. it is a myth. >> they do. >> that's up there with women think about sex too. >> yeah, sex? >> greg, even though i am here and not doing other things, i can't tell you if any of the

employees were women because the sec refused to identify them saying it could subject them to harassment and annoyance in the conduct of their official duties and private life. >> do you think a woman would say this is a distraction, per say? >> only if we were a huh maf raw dite. >> come on, guys, i am sitting here minding my own. >> i ran sends animals into space. i was disappointed. i thought iran sent turtle from "on tau entourage" into space. >> continue hate on jerry ferrara. >> we very much luke how his hat matches his outfit. >> exactly. at some . a sweat suit has to make it into space. congressman greg asked if this was a big deal and you gave a long, articulate answer. did you forget where you are? >> i apologize for that. you should have known better.

you are right. i was thrown by his reap rehenceable job of throwing the porn on you. we all know, per say, greg is a pervert. thank you. >> will, you said that because they are from iran we know the animals aren't gay. but the joke is on them because the mouse was jewish. >> not if it didn't come back, andy. the joke is back on the animal. >> you made fun of the fact that set up worm. but the first animals we sent were fruit flies in 1947. >> way to make me look good. >> you don't need any help, baby. >> it is hard to believe i am single. greg-alogue, autism and vaccines. greg, you said if the "lancet" is named after a sharp object. when it was founded in 1823, he said it could be an arched

window to let in the light and i intend to use it in both senses. >> you can do that, but using both sentences is confusing. i prefer a sharpened instrument or window. >> and this time i mean it of i am not getting medical advice from jenni mac car thee. if you see me doing it, stop me. >> i will stop you. >> did you. -- thank you. jenni mccarthy cleared her name. mccarthy and jim carrey's group has a letter in support of dr. wakefield of you did the credited study. they say the whole thing is a conspiracy by the evil drug companies. they say dr. wakefield is perhaps the greatest hero. we i heard he will lose his medical license, so hent might not be for tool longer. >> this is not a conspiracy

theory. mark sanford removed the part of being faithful from his wedding vows and then he removed it from his irg ma. the congressman asked a question and you gave it a long, articulate answer. did you forget where you are? >> where is the turtle? >> the turtle is in space, sir. >> where are the unicorns? >> exactly. >> you don't want to know where those are. >> congressman, at present time the unicorns are battling the griffins over the power of hot cocoa. >> is it over or under desm. >> you are the sports guy. >> matt. >> okay, unicorns by 20. let's welcome back our guests. she is the sexiest thing on tv. that's a terrible intro. she is so shot the sun wears a reshi address. he knows

running from office like i run from officers. the contributinged dor, he is not grotesque looking. >> bullies and jerks and guys like gregory joyce. hair ready have believes being short tempered could be a sign of evolutionary superior tee. translation, i'm the most advanced human specimen on the planett in. they researched two type of monkeys, the morey involveded and the less involved, bonobo which is more child like and playful. >> turns out scientists think the chimp's ability to use better social restraint they are more inteligent than air ape cousins. we sent in a crew for reaction.

i had no idea they were into fashion. you are a mild-man erred guy. basically that means you are not evolved, and i am more evolved than you. how does that make you feel? >> a little worse about all of the times you beat me up. >> i used to have the, at least i am more bold. it is a terrible thing for people who are terrorized by grumpy bullies. >> it is like, okay, fine, but you just curbed me. i still -- it is like saying those chimps are [bleep]. and it is no, they are just better than you are. >> does this study justify being a jerk? >> i don't know. are you gonna have to ask

them. but it violates my glenpitas. >> and you are successful. it does work. congress n ma, i have a here re. , as we evolve and become more discriminating and we know what we want, so we make choices quicker, we move to the front of the line. does that make sense? >> who is we? look, i just want to get this straight. what you are saying from the study gutfeld is darwin's theory of evolution runs from gorilla and gutfeld. why bother? you may as well go surfing with levey. he knits. >> he does on the internet. >> i happen to think intoll inteligence gets a bad wrap. open mindedness there is a rouge. >> unless there is a question as to who is the head of the

story, know the next one think hipocondriacs have euge [bleep]. that is the next show we will do. >> we have to move on. stop pulling the curtain back, bill. always a pleasure having you on the show. you are a wonderful delight and 10 times smarter than anybody i ever met. coming up, we won't do the cat juggling process. and what are these two guys doing on the beach? more like what are they not doing? >> yeah, you are right. yes, sir, okay.

my next guest hales from our neighbor to the north. the island nation of hawaii. he currently serves on honolulu's city council, and now he is running for one of hawaii's two congressional seats. that's right, somehow a foreign country gets congress people.

i don't understand it either. here to explain that and much, much more is charles dejou. i did that right. >> hello, greg. we are the 50th star in the american flag. but thank you. >> keep telling yourself that, young man. you are too young to be running for congress. since when did hawaii have congressmen? when did that start? >> we have been part of the united states since 1959. greg, you know, next time let's do this interview here in hawaii. it is warmer and more beautiful and trust me you would get a good visit here. >> i would love to do that, but i have to get my passport renewed. >> and i need my shots. i have always wanted to go. everybody who was born in the 60s wanted to go to hawaii for one reason only. it was the 3-part episode of the brady bunch when greg went surfing and he got a curse on the tiki doll and that leads

to my impression. do tiki dolls give curses? >> do tiki dolls give curses? no. but again i would invite you. -- i am actually not only running for the congressional seat, but i am the city councilman from we kiki. i want you to check it out and see if it is true. >> i love hawaii. it is a heavy democratic state. the guy stepping down to run for governor, so this will be a special election, right. >> yes, that's correct. a smecial election is in 90 days. in hawaii we have unique election rules. it is a winner take all. all candidates -- who ever gets the most votes wins. in this race, i am the only republican candidate. there are two, possibly three candidates in the race and i am excited. much more important than that -- >> go ahead.

>> much more important than that is what the people and the voters of hawaii can say to the nation. i think i as well as the voters and the american people are troubled. we are running monster-sized budget deficits and running up the national debt and trying to take off the system. i am looking forward to bringing the message to the people of hawaii. i think the people of hawaii will make a statement that we have to change the u.s. direction of our congress. >> you are talked about as the next potential scott brown. a, do you see yourself that way? and b, is there any chance of sexy pictures of you in a women's magazine? greg, let me assure you -- >> greg, let me assure you. you can look all you want. i have never posed nude or seminude. well, i don't know.

you would be frightening any of my potential voters. seriously, and in terms of what the senator elect scott brown had done and what i am sticking to do in hawaii, there are similarities. scott brown ran on a cam inthat that we have to bring back congress to the average american family. we can't i can't take over the healthcare systems, but it is a deficit. that's my campaign theme. i look forward to showing what scott brown did but a trend. i am looking for to doing that here. becoming the congressman representing the president's hometown. > there is a chance you will run against two democrats. does that make it easier? >> it does. i think there is a potential we can do the inverse of the special election in new york last year with numerous democrats running.

this would divide the vote and give me a good chance. i am running to get the majority of the voters in my particular district. i believe the voters of hawaii and the united states are deeply concerned and troubled by the huge national debt that congress is wracking up. and things aren't working. we just had is a -- we just had a plan that would bring unemployment, but unemployment increases. we had a cash for program going on. chis leer and gm went into bankruptcy and saturn and homer and oldsmobile disappeared. things have to change and people will send that message, in this particular special election as they did in massachusetts a couple week ago. >> i think you are gonna win. i just have one last question. >> thank you very much. >> they are going to remaker "hawaii 5-o." any ideas or suggestions?

>> steve, you would make a great player. i don't know whother or not we hillary make "hawaii 5-o" but we will see. if i get elected to congress i will work on that. >> if i am a garrett you can be my dano. >> charles, best of luck. please come back. >> thank you, and greg if i could just mention, if anybody wants to follow-up on my campaign, look me up on the website, djou .com. and next time we'll do this on we kiki beach. >> i will do. it i will wear my thong. kidding. i will never do that to you. moving on. when we come back, it is mail time.

these two guys named lance and joe hanging out at the beach. maybe a bottle of lotion. you don't want to burn or chafe. later they killed each other. >> mail time. mail time. >> let's do mail time. the mail time address is red eye fox news .com. we go parent sailing in an ocean filled with blood. "love your show.

a straight shooter for once in broadcasting." are you nuts? one question, do you have a "flask under your desk? ". paul i don't know why you asked such a question. here is what i have under my desk. i hate it when it squirms. hunter from columbia x missouri, all of this hype about the glen beck and bill o'reilly tour why don't you and bill do something similar. it is about time you got out and mingled with the folks. hunter, that's a great idea. we plan on an event that takes the tour across plerk. -- across america. i believe we have video of our practice. jay -- >> bill, you look great in that blonde wig. they really went out of their way to take an especially gruesome clip. and finally,

alex -- finally alex from great neck new york writes -- may again kelly has a new show and a new stud yo. you got a new table. clearly we know where you stand in the pecking order. actually, we are grateful we got this new table. we don't have it right now, but it is waiting for us. it is larger and smoother and allows for all of our guests. this is the table i really president whated. and this is the one bill wanted. you can dream, bill, you can dream. >> this is the most hetero friendly letters we have ever had. >> we'll close things out. should have gone an extra segment with the congressman guy. >> no, i was happy to see him leave. >> with the post game wrap up. -- >> he probably would have been

more respectable. a few more clips, go to fox news .com slash red eye.

time to go back to andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> will, tell me about your new book. what is it about? >> it is about fatherhood, baseball and jokes. >> i like all three. in order. >> like a funny field of dreams? >> yeah, but funny. >> i hear you are headed someplace exciting next week? >> i am. i am going to the olympics. you're jealous! you're jealous! >> vancouver, not really. >> can you bring me back something that has to do with curling? >> sure. >> it is my favorite olympic sport. >> why doesn't she bring you a lock of my hair. >> i have to go. sorry, andy.