ghandhi said of nonviolence and hammer that truth away every single day. you need to bring one extra person into the welcome to "red eye." it's like happy feet, if by feet you mean pills. andy, what it coming up? >> an initiative to legalize pot is approve for november's california ballot. we report, you pack your bags to head west. and finally, a 10% tax on tanning salons expected to take effect on july 1st. now you're getting burped -- burned by the government. >> well done, andy. >> where were you yesterday? >> i was out and i guess i lost track of time. >> you didn't come home and

didn't even tell me. >> they sexy, sass, and all-around classy. enough about the league of women voters. we welcome our guest so adorable, you forget she is a mass murder. morgan lloyd webber. so hot, she curdles milk and a having a dairy products. and it's joe def veto. if witness were a sharp object, you couldn't board a plane with them. and big schulz. in he as dashing as i am rashing -- i know it's not a word -- tucker carlson. he is so smart, all of his pants are smarty pants, and our "new york times" correspondentent,

good to see you, pink. >> good to see you. bill schulz has done more to advance the gay cause than anybody in this building. i'm not gay, pinch. >> thank you for that interesting whatever. all right, it's like march madness, if by march you mean reaper. yes, if they succeed, you can all smoke weed. at least in california, anyway. the california secretary of state certified a ballot measure that could legalize marijuana. it isn't just the usual -- >> the front office. >> the initiative is known as the tax cannabis act, and the reporters are touting the tax revenues that would come from legalizing it. richard lee, founder of a trade school for growing marijuana.

>> we need the tax savings, dude. have law enforcement direct towards real crime. uptight opponents of legalization, a.k.a. the man, jerry brown, said that making dope available will turn people into, well, dopes. and cause an increase in things like tardiness and absenteeism in the workplace and probably lead jazz explorations like this. ♪ >> i wanted the chorus. >> they might actually have a point. tucker, they claim legalizing could raise 1.5 billion dozen and save money on law

enforcement. why not? >> consenting adults ought to be able to get dumb, and alcohol is worse for you. as a native californian, pretty lame if your trying to keep your state afloat with stoners. >> people like to get high, we can make money off it. it's awful. >> you're creating a population of dorito eating slackers. >> you're targeting the dumbest people in the state. >> you just insulted our entire crew. >> i have short-term memory. thank god, everybody is so high, they warrant listening, and you're completely soaping -- zoning. in england, you can walk around with pot. >> i'm confused.

california is so laid back. but in new york, you won't get taught drunk driving. >> that's true. i've never driven while on pot. i've never done pot. my guess is you're against legalization. >> you would be wrong. it's a start. california, you talk about the poor judgment of people on marijuana. look at what they have done with their budget without being on drugs. the spent money they didn't have, and we have sin taxes on -- trying to put them on sugary drinks and cigarettes. why not for marijuana. people are smoking it already. it's harmless, and if you can justify gambling in lottos and casino, which are addictions which really hurt people's lives, why not make some money on this. >> i worry it might be a gateway tax.

>> i would rather pay to any local weed dealer than the state of california. a more honest way to spend your money. >> the weed dealers are much more dependable. >> and they would ininvest it wisely, like on a fridays -- frisbee. >> if there is some nonreligious holies. >> legalization has never been an issue for your behavior. why is that? >> because i choose to believe they're illegalful the problem with california legalizing pot is that the people who smoke pot don't pay taxes. the last thing they're think about is their w2. i feel like even if california were to legalize it, the black market would just be more accessible. >> why do you always have to bring it back to race.

>> sorry. >> the biggest supporter behind the legalization, this guy. >> i have been saying, i guarantee it, for years and what mean is you're going to be satisfied with the quality, the price, the way the clothes fit and wear. >> dude, could constant highness be the reason his clothes are so bad? >> could be why he has no socks, or keeps his weed in his stock. >> george zimmer? >> when i had my first entry-level job, i went to men's warehouse and budget two sets. >> and you were the best-dressed guy at burger king. >> also explains the soothing voice as well. when i first heard it, thought he smoked a lot of cigars. now at it a lot of blunt. >> don't to you county the quality of marijuana has risen

abuse of the natural ingenuity of dope smokers, would go down with the government. >> affrightening that people that might have smoked it in the past will not smoke it anymore because they fear they might die. >> who might those people be? >> i don't know. >> the whole drunk driving thing is a huge issue. don't legalize it. >> actually better stoned driving. >> bill, don't ever say that. >> paranoia is great to keep you on the street. >> now though greg-alogue. a honeypot of happiness. >> can't say that. >> it's true. >> not true. so apparently everyone is pissed about he health care bill but in a scary way. for the media anger is only okay if it's targeted at people they

ahead, i.e. corporations, conservatives, the daddy who never loved them. for proof, here's a list of angry people the media is okay with. idiots riding on college cam puts. >> somehow they never pie michael moore, which makes his sad because he likes buy. this new anger is different because it's directed at barack obama. you have a right to be angry. it's free and actually works. but we need to define why we are angry instead of letting weasels do it for us. we're angry not because we lost, but that we lost to losers. i'm not talking about obama.

he won. i'm talking about progressivism. the winning is country in the history of the world embraced the losers doctrine. now we're choosing a belief system belonging to those whose asss we kicked. tell them anger is about race. >> greg-alogue. >> while i was doing my greg-alogue, i saw steam coming out of your eyeballs. >> the best country in the history? i'm sorry. >> two. >> you are the best country in the world. not because millions of people don't have health care, it's because of world were 2, complete he destroyed europe and the soviet union. i take issue. >> the think the cold war

destroyed the soviet union. tucker, apparently she thinks it's a good idea we passed the bill. isn't it a little -- sew does fidel castro. >> of course, fidel castro likes it. >> we're not supposed to use the s word and call it socialist, which is what it is. i grew up in a school system that taught us that people took to the streets and expressed their angers were heroes. >> it's a romantic -- >> you can't pick and choose your socialism. if you have to be against that, you have to be against medicaid, which you're not. how would paulsen. >> we're in a perfect mess. adding more entitlements will

not help this country. you're an angry violent man. do y think your anger is justified and. >> what's sad is, i wish there was an elevation of the dialogue. it's strange you have your world trade organization meetings and always guys throwing rocks, cause trouble, and we're supposed to consider them them, they're just passionate, and if you oppose the administration, it's racist, they're nazis. just stop putting hitler mustaches on people. >> unless it's babies. >> or photos. >> exactly. >> you keep seeing this members of congress holding a press conference because someone left a mean message. come on, son. man up. >> the fact you are twittering, it could be terrible. could be drawing hitler mustaches on their feed.

>> i'm so looking forward to getting home tonight. >> sent a happy face. >> people talk about this as like, oh, my god, an era of instability, we're heading towards rampant violence. look at this tape of a country i believe is called argentina. this is actually the opening of ikea. nothing to do with the story. thought i would blend it in. apparently that's their parliament. >> a church service. >> what is this? never happens in america. we're too civil. >> you sit back and get this crap shoved down your throat, and then they complain your a big -- bigot.

this is a long ride. >> what are you people doing there? >> i think that you can't just say, we're angry, it's righteous, and when you're angry, it's hateful. everybody has to behave yourself, and if someone shows up dressed as uncle sam on stilts, you're all a bunch of douche bags. >> i have a problem when anybody dresses as any historical character. >> one of our favorites is colonel sanders. >> betsy ross. >> i'm a patriot. >> hat and country first. >> i like the way you put the country before your habit. >> from being sore to having them. can a social network spread a social disease? facebook says ridiculous to charges it's spreading syphilis.

there are claims cases of stds have risen because facebook makes it easier for people to meet up for casual sex. this responded: >> a spokesman adds: >> the spokesman was saying this while banging two waitresses in a port apoty. if face book isn't responsible, what is? i believe we have tape. [screaming] >> amazing. >> that makes me sick to my stomach.

>> bill, people are saying facebook is spreading syphilis. you were the first person to give facebook syphilis. >> i absolutely love this. ladies, i'm not on facebook. that's a great line. i used to have to force them to listen to a message from my doctor saying i don't have an std. this is a much easier ice-breaker. >> even if this is bogus, isn't it fun to blame facebook. >> it's not bogus. newspapers cause eye problems. and facebook is of the future. i have never logged on i didn't at least get chlamydia. >> the one thing i hate about --

the correlation thing, it's not. facebook, i have lost hair. >> i don't believe this at all. internet prevents std. they just sit on twitter inseattling people. >> you are still mad about this twister -- twitter thing. >> joe could facebook be indirectly responsible in like the butterfly effect. >> why is no one talking about the connection between youtube and gout? old-school diseases. >> facebook is not a place to meet people for casual second. it's a place to look up people you want to high school with and see how fat they are. >> friends of our own, reintroduction of old flames in unhappy marriage and that ends up in hotel rooms. >> the amendment to that staple, eight not a place to go to meet

people for casual sex you don't know. it's a place for old friends to meet up and have sex. >> what you really need to know. >> and destroys marriages. this necessary segment is to awesome what bill's face is to not awesome. is the tax on tans opposite of brands? we have to discuss it now.

>> they're putting the "no" in melanoma. it's bad to by brown. >> no. >> yes, bill. it's a measure to help fund the health care bill. tacks on -- taxes on salons are being raised, and fans of tans

are seeing orange, and salon owners says it will have a major impact. says one owner: >> we asked a frequent fake tanner to comment. >> is that sick or amazing. everybody here is looking -- >> that was peanut butter. tucker, another example of an easy mark, go every santa claus. >> exactly. first they come for the tanning salon. >> they're going after tanning salons because they're considered self-indulgent and a gateway to mel moment na and if you risk your health, i have an interest in telling you to stop.

>> my sister had one and it wasn't a clean enterprise. pretty gross. >> when they say they're going to spray down, they're not spraying it down. >> remember when you lost your wallet, there was a reason. i'm against this tax but i can see where you would be for it. >> yes, i am for it. >> international cancer experts hey said that these tanning salons they're as deadly as arsenic gas. unlike an orgasm, it's impossible to fake a tan. >> do you care? >> well, i think you start taxing tanning salons, it's bad for america and terrible news for the cast of jersey shore. >> it's an interesting point. kind of racist, because who use tanning salons.

white people. >> tax children or moms or nuns, or how about marathon runners. >> bikers. mountain bikers take risks. if he hits his head we have to take care of him for he the rest of his life, the jerk. anybody who reads outside magazines should be tacked 80%. bill, you're tan year around. you have hepatitis. is that a safer way to go? >> i think one thing i learned -- the whole tanning salon thing you are less likely to get cancer, but apparently that's not the case. >> it's the ones -- >> you're going to look like human beef jerky so not a good idea, taxing or otherwise. i prefer to get it legitimate he in the park and pay later, and i

mean the eventual mel nona i -- melanoma. >> i agree, whatever that was. >> you're such a weirdo. leave a voice mail on my direct line, 212-462-4050. now tv's very own andy levy. >> the halftime report is sponsored by the snowboarding instructor tad. he is an innovateor. thanks my snowboard instructor.

>> welcome back. let's find out if weave gotten anything wrong so far. the fate of your new york metros rests in the hand of their rotary group of pitching athletes. mark bell. [bell ringing] >> all good points but you can't underestimate johan hendrix. >> you might be right on that one. >> i'm just hoping his flipper injury is healed. >> thank you. >> california ballot initiative to legalize pot. tucker, you said if you have to rely on stoners, it's pathetic. this is a state that elected

arnold schwarzenegger before pot. sadly, i voted for him. bill, you said the problem is that potheads don't pay tacks, neither do alcoholics like you. it's more about people who, unlike you, understand moderation. >> and jerry brown is against it. how about going against type. >> he has become the man. >> seriously. >> your said the quality of pot has gone up it's frightening. you now this how? >> just i heard about it. i read a lot. i read a lot. >> you do? okay. what kind of things do you read? >> all sorts of stuff. fun things. >> sure. greg-alogue, anger. greg you said for centuries we kick ss and now choosing the belief systems of nose whose asss we kicked.

tucker, isn't it that people who don't like the health care are portrayed as spineless? >> it's infewer rating. >> you said we need a dialogue. >> once you stop talking about marijuana, you kind of lose me. >> so in the future, we should put the marijuana stories towards the become of the show. >> i probably will forget, so front-load them. >> bill, argentina's legislative body isn't called el parliament o. >> no. i said parliamentoo. iing for got to the "el." >> a lovely island country, though. >> they are. >> a lovely island country. >> very, very cold, though. >> cold people, cold country.

>> it's all the mountains. >> yes, it is. >> facebook says it doesn't cause syphilis. they would say that. i'm pretty sure i know what myspace's new advertising campaign will be. you said the internet stops the spread of social diseases because nobody hat social interacts and they just good on face book. get out of my head. >> or book. >> this guy, professor peter kelly, who sayings he found the link between facebook and syphilis, also says twitter can cause eboli. >> how can john boehner let this tanning thing go through? at one indiana salon, fun tan, they employ a total of 40 people, and the owner says they will likely have to let some people go. so we can cross those off the

create it or save it list. >> andy brings up a good points. you're going to see a lot of creatively named salons, like a tan for all seasons. >> tan action. >> that's something else. >> use a tan? eddie, a sorority house mom says, lot of my girls tan, and they don't have a lot of extra money. most students live on a tight budget. they're taking away tanned sorority girls from us. this cannot stand. how 0 else are people going to get tan in l.a. without tanning salons. >> no sun. >> imogene, you said tanning salons are dangerous. >> it is in terms of healthcare. >> that's why we should be paying for health care.

if you don't bay for it -- >> they're not going going to get melanoma. >> and imogene, it's perfectly possible to fake an orgasm. >> do you do that regularly? >> i gotta go. >> let me welcome back author imogene lloyd webber. and comedian joe dito, and tucker carlson. if brains were pennies, it would be impossible for him to hold up his head because it would be full of pennies. i can maces done makes no sense. if the forest is rocking, don't bother knocking, just knock down those damn dirty trials in the uk, one english town has

approved the removal of 6,000 trees. the practice of romps or dogging as my parents call it, has become quite the nuisance. says one police department: >> that was dick van dyke gone rogue. >> dick van dyke was never right. >> i saw this coming. >> meanwhile, we went to a dancing bear for comment. >> putting a kid through college. dental hygiene school. got a lot to pay for.

imogene, you're british. you're an expert on dogging. [laughing] >> don't strangers have better places to go than forests. >> takure hands off my trees, and it's innocent, saving it from pollution. >> what is to say that horny people are bad for the environment. >> these people were spreading stds and came down with deadly elm disease. >> they met on facebook. >> tucker, are you as outraged as i am over this behavior? >> you can't have anonymous sex with a tree? >> is there any normal sex that goes on in the british isles in no offense. every story you ever read from anywhere in that region is people getting -- boating each other with canes, having sex in

the forests. >> for the record, imogene, i'm into play and forced play. >> does it around the holiday 0s. >> bill, if they include the trees from the local parks you wouldn't be able to make a dollar. >> i wouldn't be able to ply my trade. i want to make a buck. >> i prefer trees. global warming isn't leveling the forests, it's english dudes. about it's one george michael with a very quick -- >> it raises a good point. in the article they don't mention whether it's straight or gay but i don't see straight women going into the forest and ruining their shoes. it's all george michael and other gay men. >> only men meet in the forest. >> you can go in the forest and meet george michael but you cannot meet madonna or an

average attractive woman. >> itle you what, straight men, because gay men wouldn't ruin their shoes, either. >> who are the getting together with? >> oh! >> got to move on. tucker, you got to run. you got to do hannity. i'm glad you were here briefly. >> coming up, me stumbling home drunk. first, what's in the news? this thing on youtube. we have the geniuses behind it next. ♪

all rise for the guitar of liberty, and the founding

fathers he brought before us. now thou shalt rock. >> you shall build a turbo fence. ♪ ♪ >> that's the greatest thing ever. very topical. but there's a gregory brothers could name a collection of three brothers and a sister-in-law. by night, they turn clips from

news channels into musical youtube gold. joining me now is an adorable half in the form of gregory, and michael gregory plays the drums. how did you guys come up with the idea? were you stoned or -- this is an evil thing, auto tunes. >> it's not evil. it's a tool, like photo shop or something like that. it's new to people so they hate it at first like anything else that is new. but say you have a photograph, people aren't used to the fact that you have audio tools like that. it's used in the music industry. everybody is already using it on pop radio. >> i'll handle this, greg. you cannot make cleavage look

better. >> you can leave if you want. thank you, bill. explain what exactly is auto tune? what does it look like? >> what does it sound like? >> what is it? i don't nope what it is. all i know is i hate it. >> if you ever heard a song by t-pain, the song "believe." >> that's the first one, right? >> sounds like a robot and you can't stop moving your butt. >> i knew what it was. how is it done? how do you make -- what are they doing to the voice? >> they were using it in secret on boy bands. now you push a button and everybody snaps to a pitch, sounds like a robot. >> let's look at another one. shall we?

♪ >> there are a lot of drug references, on a scale of one to led zeppelin, how hard do you guys party? >> wow. we're not yet moving to california. in this particular case, steve is not from california. he is from indiana. but he seems to be obsessed with this idea of smoking different kinds of vegetables. something we saw online in the news of the days. one of our characters junky einstein and is interested in substance issues.

>> i tried asparagus. it's serious. >> i believe you. i believe you. does his pee really smell? do with have okayedty couric here? ♪ >> never liked her more. do you ever hear from any of these folks. >> she was on jay leno before he was on the tonight show and didn't have it again. and they aired that clip and she commented. >> she is a share of our newscasters, has a brilliant voice. >> i want to skip to the fox news channel. can you do that one?

♪ >> oh! >> who do you like doing the most? >> cure couric is up there, number one may be joe biden. he has a great voice and is so enthusiastic whatever he is talking about him, god bless him. >> does it bother you that people know you from is? not that? or this is helpful? >> it's definitely helpful. we'll take what we can get. >> that's some help. >> a lot of people have found our original music by seeing the videos and following up. half of them are like, this is great music. i really like this. the other half are, shut, it's

nothing like it. >> i like the acting involved there. that was really good. for a minute you transported me to another more magical place. >> we have to go. great job you guys, please come back. we're going to take another break. when we come bang your voice mails.

>> this is what we term the blunt edge. just striking, thrusting. very effective against an attacker in close quarters, and bear in mine that the damage and death can result from lethal blows. [laughing] >> that's how you defend yourself with a rolled-up magazine. >> wow.

>> it's grate if you do that with kosmo. >> why ruin it. >> i save all of mine. i have a cosmo drawer. keep your eye on a panda bear cub being cubby. we have warm, words. >> i just saw two greg-alogues. >> my name is kelly and i wanted to let you know i love you, even though you're short, i live you, and bill even, too, i love you both very much. >> greg, plus put the microphone on your jacket. i'm tired of seeing your chest hairs. at it nasty. >> gregs, this i sean, i live in california, aim 29, a tattoo shop open, and you made a comment abouted harding, and he changed the face of tattooing

and he is a hero to me. don't be clowning on him or bogey going to lose a customer. >> agreeing, we were promises kevin god good-godding ton. can you. >> hey, greg, as far as parties good, i would like to start a tequila party. >> greg, i was wondering, why you wearing medicaid frames, your eye glass frames? went to jail earlier to visit my husband, and everybody just got their new glasses, and you're wearing medicaid frames. >> you're making fun of me? think about that. those are oliver people. i like wearing them. and kevin garlington, he cancelled on us because he had stuff he had to go to. so keep calling.

212-462-5050. andy levy, terrific guy. terrific.

okay, this weekend you can watch us saturday night at midnight eastern, 9:00 p.m. coming up on the next "red eye" on monday. jim norton and s.e.cupp. time to go back to andy levy. >> thanks, greg. imogene, what do you want for your birthday next week? >> i want a tree. >> where would you like the tree? >> probably in new york where

i'm living. >> and the address and. >> central park. >> for delivery purposes. >> absolutely. >> you can leave the key under the little rock, all right? the window is a little loose in the back. >> joe, what's this award you have been nominated for? >> from the manhattan association of cabarets and clubs, and the male standup of the year or something like that. >> well! >> when do you find out about it? i'm not sure when the ceremony is but at the duplex on saturday night, they have the information there. a bunch of comics. >> bill is always up for an award from the cabaret but for something completely different. >> blah, blah, blah, greg, back to you. >> funny bone at 9:00. thank you, andy.