>> glenn: tomorrow, a very special episode. that's usually when i bring in the little neighbor kid. >> this is a fox news alert from america's news headquarters. i'm andy levy. a stunning development in the story of the 33 rescued chilean miners as one of the miners has decided to go back to the mines. juan carlos silva made the decision after being kept for object -- observation. silva said, quote, i do not wish to live on a planet where such a show is possible. i would prefer to live in the darkness, being unable to bathe or enjoy the company of a woman. this has been a fox news alert. now back to red eye already in

progress. >> i am here with se of cupp. she is so hot, she could turn meat to jerk see. oh my goodness, it is imogen lloyd webber. if sexiness was bananas, i would put her on the plate. she stinks of stench and smelliness. and sitting next to me, the great singer and award-winning song writer. if musical talent was a dishwasher, i would fill him with dirty plate. and our new york times correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> it appears i have been on the receiving end of quite the makeover. or as we call it in the newspaper business, a makeover. i don't know what that means. anyway, you don't know what greg has been on the receiving end of. it is hard to move my mouth. maybe this is what president a great makeover after all.

well, as the miners escape, they chose to jape. thankfully all 33 men rescued from the san jose mine in chile are said to be in a good state of health, according to hospital officials. if only we could say the same thing about chris matthews and michael moore. yes, it seems this ordeal that ended triumphantly has caused both lefties to lose what is left of their muddled minds. here is what moore had to say about the rescue on "larry king." >> i was thinking, sitting here watching this that the next time we have a hole in the gulf of mexico, we need to call in the chilean government. i mean, it took us three months to plug a 7-inch diameter hole, and there was just oil gushing out, not human beings down there. >> well, the next time we have a hole, we can use you to plug it. and then chris matthews found a way to drag the tea partiers

into the fray. >> the message coming out of the tea party is every man for himself, basically. no mar taxes, no more -- no mar taxes or government or safety net or healthcare for everybody. everybody just get out there and make your buck, save it, screw the government and move on, right? these people if it was every man for themselves in that mine, they wouldn't have got out. they would have been killing each other for two days. >> and then they would have been eating each other and built cages out of the bones and then climbed into the cages. he is so nuts. now to "red eye" south america correspondent. bk, what is next for these men? >> i am beginning to think he is not in chile or chile. i don't know how to pronounce it. reggie, why do they take such

a beautiful thing? this jubilant explosion of happiness and paw lit sized it, turn -- turned it into a priss civil from which to look through life. >> i will say this, if anybody knows about chile, it will be michael moore. i know, it is beneath me, but i did it. >> it is actually beneath him. >> by the way, it is not like you haven't seen a bowl of chili. >> just because he lost a lot of weight doesn't -- just because you lost a lot of weight doesn't mean you need to attack other people. >> i apologize. >> you are right. it is a beautiful thing. aside from pearl harbor and 9/11, some tragedy with malice behind it, i'm not sure i dig the politicizing of a tragedy. i guess if it were here it would be boycotting mining and all this kind of stuff.

we have to find a way to get an angle on these things. >> i have a mosque to sell you. >> that's not -- >> i started what i said by saying, unless there is some malice behind it. unless it start a war. >> there is no coincidence. i am just going to ignore you and your ugly jacket c. immogen, were surprised how quickly lauren matthews went to this politics and this event? >> yeah, it was horrible. i have to admit i actually cried. it was amazing. a billion people watched this. and then these hideous people come and jump on the ban wagon and taint the whole thing. get off the ban wagon, michael moore, and get off the ban wagon ups. they said, we helped rescue the miners.

no you didn't with your shorts and outfits. you didn't go anywhere near chile. >> i missed that. >> yeah, they said they sent stuff to help. >> immogen, i disagree. i think that's part of the machine of people -- capitalists. >> well, oakley sent sunglasses for the miners to wear as they merged into the sunlight for the first time. >> and then the signs, they did it! >> there are a lot of heroes in this, and oakley is not one of them. a million more people know more about oakley. there is something to be said about a free plug. >> isn't the real hero here me? >> always. >> our show was bumped for two days. you know what i did? i went out and helped people. i went around and helped people. >> i think you were helping yourself to another bourbon. >> what am i wearing, greg? >> when i am drunk, that helps everyone. >> i was wearing outrage. >> it is about the children.

>> it is about the children. it is because you care. >> here is a question, and maybe it is complicated, but i think it gets to the core of the matter. why would matthews take a news story and turn it on to an attack of the very people who may actually make the products used in the rescue? >> right. >> that's what i find interesting. >> he is way not smart enough to make the connections. matthews is a disshelfed mess. it is the most accurate description of chris matthews a disshelfed mess. what if the tea parties were down there? what if justin bieber was down there? what if the cast of cool and the gang was down there? >> he would be passed around like an or doif tray. here, you listen to him. the guys were alone for nine weeks, but that's nothing compared to your life. >> i am waiting for somebody

to get me from my apartment. it is a hell hole. it is in the basent in. drill a hole and get me out. >> call the chilean government. >> and oakley. >> from mine shafts to golf shafts. i messed that one up. the lpga won't let her swing because she wants -- because she once had a thing. the former s.w.a.t team member and man is suing the ladies professional golf association for denying her entrance to the tour. they followed the rules following her championship in 2008, her championship win that is. says the athlete whoe currently goes by the awesomely awesome money gnaw customer lona lowless says i traveled a longtime to get to where i am now, a strong, proud, capable woman. i am legally and physically male -- female. that was my mistake. the state of california recognizes me as such and the

lpga cannot come into california and violate my rights. for more on this story let's go live to our gay, lesbian and transgender correspondent for analysis. >> thoughtful and hard-hitting as usual. i see a ward in the near future. immogen, you seem like you would be on the side of the golfer. >> yeah, so what if a golfer swings both ways. i have an accent and i can get away with it more. i don't know much about transgender people's capabilities. bill schulz though can help us on this. >> one minute. one minute is all it took. >> you read this story and you

can say, been there, done that, right? you were in the lpga for 12 years before they found out? >> i have not done anything. i i will say the lpga is raw and honest. it is not lana lawless but the silence coming from her sister, lucy "xena princess" lawless. i would go out on a limb saying lucy hate trans sex -- trans sexuals. here is the thing -- >> what is the thing? >> i am ignorant about how muscle mass changes from surmg re. i know from my research that men have 50% more muscle mass than women. that's from the research i have done privately. and when they go through a sex change, i can't believe they lose all muscle mass. is that fair to the women born

female? >> i don't like this story at all. my heart goes out to anyone who finds themselves in this predicament. on the other hand this will be a spectacle, nothing but a spectacle for the lpga. i think they have a little bit of a right to protect their brand. just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. just because white guys should rap doesn't mean they should rap. i mean, the lpga it is what they are. they say if this will bring weird attention because we are not about lesbians and transgenders and all that stuff. >> i don't know. my whole thing is it fair if you were on the circuit and you got beaten by somebody who used to be a man. okay, is it like a guy who takes anna bowl lick steroids -- obviously a man doesn't get a sex change to win a sport.

that's a commitment. well, you deserve to win it if you go through that. but a woman says, this person has an advantage that i don't have. >> and that's being wrestled with all over the world. >> literally wrestled. >> there is that african runner who has been making the headlines for this. i imagine you would have to be an athlete and in that position to make the call. i don't know how it would feel. i just know i am pretty sure this lake is annika sorenstam. >> wow, really? >> that's a female golfer we know. >> maybe. >> i have a message to the young men who may or may not be happy with the equipment god gave them, don't skimp on the surgeon. greg, you want to pay top dollar for these people. i have seen to the jpegs of my tragedy and talk about buyers remorse. >> the website is called botched .com. >> no, .org.

>> okay botched .org. sometimes not being allowed to do something is not discrimination. i just think from a physical performance stance, that's what you have to -- that's where the fairness is. >> i think all golfers should have to take steroids, and baseball player too.z this will be the only thing that will make me interested in watching it. >> if you get the right surgeon, you can perform, greg, i can't emphasize that enough. >> i want to see her. i would like to see her beat everybody. that would be great. to the greg-alogue. it is a curly fry of common sense in an arby's of aggravation. it was awful. admit. you don't have to rub it in. sometimes you don't have good ones. so according to someone who additioned for barack obama's town hall on mtv on thur afternoon, the organizers wanted, quote, light,

questions. the fact came from the liberal america blog who failed at his casting call because they didn't come up with anything they liked. it had more softballs than elana kagan's closet. from what i gat every, these cherry picked students who were supposed to reflect young america only care about issues that make obama seem like a caring, sensitive dad. anti-bullying, fine, race issues, fine and stuff about rhetoric, a jab. and don't forget environmental justice, whatever that is. sure, a tea party question popped up. yet this thing was more choreographed than the backside sequence in "west side story." but if you look up the definition of soft, it would show this crowd. that's because the audience says obama is awesome and his

opposition are stupid and mean. and questioning race relations obama mentions folks, quote, organizing itself around a tribal attitude. then he asks people to poke and prod their racist parents. >> what is important that we make sure to work together and that we understand our strength comes from unity and not division. and that's going to be something your generation will be important because if all of you lead, your parents and your grandparents tend to follow. if you say, mom and dad, i don't agree with your opinion of such and such group, they listen. >> he is talking of course of the moody blues. it is important for students to hold these silly opinions. they aren't yet in the real world, but our president, yikes. if you disagree, you are a

verbophobe. like that one? >> yeah. here is the thing. i think the issues they bring up are valid. but they are the ind could of issues where when you are in the situation all you have to say is i care. it is more like, i totally empathize and i get that we need help. of course we need to stop bullying. that's not how to fix globally the united states. >> sure, but put yourself in the shoes of a liberal college student. you don't want to ask anything hard-hitting. you want this guy to like you. if you are a conservative, you want to spar a little. >> one question from a conservative radio bloger and he rambled on. >> it is a lot of pressure to be in that situation. but i remember the good old days of mtv, presidential moments, when the big reveal

was boxers or briefs. those were good. >> those were the good old days. >> when there was no mtv. those were the good old days. >> i do. i remember when mtv was only on for three hours. that was great. you will be making out and the music would stop and it would be like -- a. >> that was very new wave. >> i don't have a question for you anymore. i started thinking about stephanie vaughn platt. >> the guy is oversaturated. he makes valid points. he is obviously going to stand in a room and talk to them. >> i disagree, that was so boring. >> he would be a great pitch man. at this point, i want to go to the days where the president was above mtv town hall meetings. >> calvin cool ledge.

>> sigh lant cal -- silent cal. >> he would not talk unless he was choking. >> i disbre with you. -- i agree with you. it lowers the president when he hangs out with punks. >> maybe he can get in the backyard and show me how to do my lawn mower. >> there is one deem ma demographic -- demographic which is students and young people. it will just come back and backfire on him. shouldn't have done it. >> last word to you, make it short. trying to get woodrow wilson on mount rushmore. truly he was our nation's great president. and he wouldn't do mtv. he is an under rated president. >> half the time he is not even rated. >> i know, i know. there are people out to get woodrow wilson. coming up, what is the

secret to shiny, manageable hair? why she drinks a glass of shampoo every day. and why is david arquette filled with regret? and why am i filled with soy joy? probably because i am on the go and watching my figure.

this is a fox news alert from america's news headquarters. i'm andy levy. more on the shocking story we have been following out of chile as a second rescued miner decided to go back to the mine. he made the decision after one day back on the earth's cur fe, apparently upset he was hounded by director roman polanski. the director has been calling him nonstop sin the rescue.

polanski saying it has always been his dream to make a film with 33 miners. he invited the miners to come and live with him in france. and he said no matter how old he get he would enjoy the company of miners. he does not understand the obsession and he is returning to the mine to live out his life in peace and quiet. this is a fox news alert and now back to "red eye" already in progress. so while the world fixated on trapped miners, a more serious event took place. david arquette and the chick from friends separated. the news sent shock waves through my soul. and i can only wonder if a drill bit existed to extricate him from the deep hole his mouth brought him in. he spoke of his marital strive to howard stern. he said his wife initiated the separation, quoting her and telling him, "i don't want to be your mother any are month. and then said they didn't have

sex for five months and after he split up with her he had sex with the girl in the paper." he differ wrented the sex. >> we do "scream 4" and i'm feeling distance, obviously from my wife. we have not had sex in quite a -- at that time a month or so. sips then it's been like four months or so. we're not having sex, and i completely understand. she's in a very, like, place of wanting to be real and emotional. she's an emotional being. she's an amazing woman that -- if it doesn't feel right, she doesn't feel like bonding in that way. yeah. >> wow.

>> and so the actor made the biggest mistake a married man could make, he was honest. there are all sorts of secret societies, free masons, the illuminati and the modern wood men of america and the order of the fifth. which i belonged to after a night in the er. and then there are the marys. there is not a book that tells you what married life is like. instead we so the court ship, the wedding and the honeymoon bliss. and then they are stranded on the eyend la. for 5* brief moment he per rm toed a self-less service and pulled back the curtain of couple hood for everyone to see. and by doing so likely doomed his own marriage. well, that makes up for "scream 2" and" scream 3". if you disagree, you are a

homophobic. >> immogen, should she take him back? would you take him back? >> i sat next to david arquette once for dinner. he couldn't work out how to use the track wheel on his blackberry. frankly, i am not surprised she did this, and she should not go back to him. he is a muppet. >> reggie, as a married guy, and you are a married guy, you know you don't do that. but you kind of like go, -- >> i'm editing every word that is coming out of my mouth. you find yourself on howard stern saying that, it is over. you don't come back from that. she should have known. she dated fun bobbie on "friends." once fun bobbie, always fun bobbie. >> it is true. here is the thing that ticks me off. she married him because he was like a child. oh he was so -- and then all

of a sudden at 44, 45, the little child thing, she is stuck with him. >> it is not so cute at 45 and wearing golf pants and weird t-shirts which is what he does. >> can you hear in his voice he legitimately loves her. >> it is refreshing and it is a service. by pulling back the curtain, he got people like me, unmarried, to resolve firmly in my decision not to be married. i like it, thank you, david arquette. >> he will be calling you later. >> they made a big show of getting their wedding rings engraved. it said "a deal's a deal." don't go on the record with that. a deal is obviously not a deal in all cases. don't be public with this stuff. it always comes back to bite you. >> now that arquette is single, i guess it is wide open for your wildest fantasies and dreams. >> call me, courteney.

>> you are right. this story confuses me. the only thing i get less than the antiquated died when you are 30 institution of marriage, is david arquette. i don't get either of them. the two of them coming together makes my head explode. >> i don't know. i like him and i like marriage. i just never saw it before. i never saw anybody going on the phone and say those sorts of things. >> that was pretty real. >> speaking of real, we will take a real break. >> do you have a comment on the show? take a word from a previous -- >> and then add a hottie-totty. >> e-mail us at fox news .com. or call 212-462-5050. >> tonight's half time report 1* sponsored by giants.

they are actually very accomplished swimmers. thanks, giants.

welcome back. let's find out if we have gotten anything wrong so far. andy, what is the word? >> johannnesburg, greg. >> why? >> dude, 1975, girl scout herron song? >> whatever.

>> pathetic. to be fair and balanced, some say it is thunderbird. and others claim that bird is the word. michael moore and chris matthews with the mine rescue. i love they said, "you never quit, michael"? how do you invite michael moore on the show and not know he will do that. >> if you are larry king, you invite people on the show and think you are a giant monkey writing on a face. >> i'm calling for larry king to retire. >> i think he should. i think he should be replaced by a british guy, named after an area you dock a boat. >> you called matthew's tea party comment an alarming nonseek hua ter. but isn't it pathetic? >> i hate politicizing everything. i don't like to bring obama into every conversation i have

regardless of what it is about. it just happens. >> like it just did here. >> wow, that was weird. >> he thinks the message from the tea partiers is every man for himself. he can't talk about a world where people help each other voluntarily. he thinks the government doesn't do it, that clearly it is revealing what he is deep inside. if the government didn't force him by taking his tax money or whatever, he wouldn't help anybody. >> his idea of what humanity is is missing as obama's birth certificate. >> nice, nice. >> and is questionable as obama's devotion to christianity. >> so not questionable at all. >> and his back as his home country, ken you yeah. >> immogen, at the request of the chilean embassy, ups sent seven shipments with 50,000 pounds of mining equipment

that require required creative logistics and trucks. >> are you so sexy when you talk. >> good are to them. >> sorry. >> transgender golfer sues lpga. immogen, you said so what if they swing both ways. lana does not swing both ways, and that is not right. >> sorry, i will leave that to the professionals. >> you are not sure what lawless' muscle mass is. she says, i am not as strong as i used to be. >> if they can show that, but i don't know, she looks tough and starting off as a s.w.a.t member puts her above most guys like me. but then again, i am not an athlete. so this is not my problem. >> greg, don't sell yourself short. for what it is worth, the

international olympic committee's policy is to allow transgender people to compete as long as they have gone to gender reassign meant surgery. >> i could have told you that. >> i like how the camera goes to you even before you say anything. >> six month months, bill, and you can be in the olympics. >> i think in the control room, there is a contest of, can they get the picture on you before the gay comment is made? >> i think it is a button. >> the bill but -- button. >> reggie, you said just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. just because white people rap doesn't mean they should. you owe apologies to the beastie boys and em inthem. -- eminem. >> well, just because i can't sing. >> wait, the beastie boys are white? >> yeah. >> i just don't want to get beat up by anything.

-- by anybody. >> sabotage. >> mtv town hall, my favorite part is just as obama was telling the audience don't ask, don't tell will end on his watch, they said, quote, the justice department asks to let don't ask, don't tell to continue during appeal. perfect timing. >> my second favorite part is when he said, quote, we have to stop the name calling which has been funded by the chamber of commerce possibly from puppy hating terrorists. kind of weird. arquette and cox, immogen you were calling him a moppit, right 1234*. >> a muppet with a u like kermit the frog. >> gotcha. and fun bobbie on friends was on "friends," but he changed when he started drinking. >> did we learn nothing? >> i don't remember fun bobbie. >> you didn't like him when he was a fun barbie. >> one more reason to never stop.

>> that's the great thing about drinking. once you stop you are no longer popular. the more you know, the more you know. >> gotta go. >> take it easy, dude. we're taking a break. plenty more stuff ahead. and don't forget to buy my book. it is called "the bible of unspeakable truths." get a copy or go to your nearest bookstore. buy it!

you ever notice strippers name themselves after things they can't afford. welcome to stage number one, porshe. and on stage number two, it is diamond. and on the main stage it's, an education. >> he has been on our show a billion times. what are you laughing at? >> that's the clip you chose?

i like that joke. that wouldn't have been the clip i chose. i would have chose one where the audience was laughing a lot more. and maybe one where i wasn't getting a drink in the middle of the joke. >> that was actually beautiful. i was going to go through the rest of the interest -- interest introduction, but why should i? he was in the movie "hottie and the naughty." >> the box office bomb. please, please. >> you have a dvd out called "hollywood legend and exis symbol." -- and sex symbol ." >> i like it because none of it is true. >> and you are headlining the time square comedy club. the most important thing is you are teaching comedy workshops in new york city. tell me about the comedy workshops. >> actually there is something i didn't intend to do. i was sitting around criticizing young comedians for so long the club was like, hey, you should just teach a workshop. >> they did that to shut you up. >> just do this during the day

so we don't have to hear it. >> and then it was like the best review in america. everyone was like, it is amazing! and so much so, i have had a couple professionals come up saying, can you stop teaching this class? it took on a life of its own. >> it sounds like an infomercial. >> this is too good. but if you act right now i will give uh second one for free! >> did you see the question marks all over it? >> yes, all the jokes are in here. exactly. i will show you where to find your jokes. these jokes are just out there waiting for somebody to apply for them. >> i have to ask -- >> placing ads in the back of magazines. >> you too can be a comedian today. >> you used to be a poor vietnamese guy until you

discover eddie pressed real estate and look at you now. >> there was nothing up front. >> i have to ask you, in your workshop you talk about dealing with hecklers. there are two kinds of hecklers. >> there are. there is one kind that just wants you to prove you are smarter than them. they you can go about your show. and then there are those that want to be a part of the show. these are people eventually you have to throw them out. i call it the get real moment. you have to get real and say, you know what, you are ruining the night and would anybody else like this person to shut up? they are like, yea. this is your last chance. say another word and it is gone. >> what if you have an audience that is not responsive. >> a couple ways. a little is a little cloud work, a little improve. a lot of times the improve, it helps you address the

300-pound bo riel law in a room. you say something and address it and reengage them in the show. >> let me ask you something, you have students that come there. if you have a student and you know it is not happening, do you save your money? >> no, they already spent the money. >> no refunds. really it is more about the fact that they will find that out on their own. so much of comedy is really sticking to it. i am seeing ugly ducklings turn into swans and guys that were amazing go nowhere. >> this is the one thing that bugs me about comedians. it is a comedian who doesn't go out and perform. life is hard as a comic?

not so much the performing, but the life itself. >> i do cover a lot of things. your career will be over. >> cocaine? >> are you kidding, that's what get you to the top! >> that was so not a joke by the way. >> that's all my audience. >> a lot of it is -- there are a couple things to watch out for. you don't want to get married, that's the truth. it is true, the wife is like, okay, it is time for a better job. if you do get married, that's fine. don't have kids. kids are a dream killer. you might as well get a shirt that says, my dreams are over.

cam de does no -- comedy does not pay great, and it is not easy, and the baby doesn't care. there is not a lot of money for formula in your early years of comedy. >> to find out more go to the workshop this weekend. go to greg wilson .tv slash work shop. he is amazing. i have seen him a dozen times. stick around. more crap when we come back.

this is a fox news alert from america's news headquarters. i'm andy levy. more developments on the story we have been bringing you all night as yet another chilean miner is going back into the mine. salazar says he is not returning permanently, but when he woke up this morning, he realized in the confusion of being rescued he left his subway club card. ordinarily he wouldn't care, but he was only one hole punch away from a free sub. we have all been there, haven't we? that's fox news alert and now back to "red eye" already in progress. it was finally confirmed, but president obama and sarah

palin are related. at least uh ready coulding to ancestry .com that found palin and obama are disconstant cousins. obama and palin are 10th cousins connected by john smith. obama and limbaugh are 10th cousins once removed and george w. bush and obama are 10th cousins through hinckley, a giant fish. but the most shocking revolution, that i am indeed related to this man. >> wow. >> he is getting more and more brazen every day. now he is outside. >> ancestry research is the dumbest thing ever. you can connect anyone to anyone. >> they come out every couple months. i am probably related to bill. we share some dna.

i just threw up in my mouth a little. and bill probably. >> there is no way we are related because you said i am about to throw up a little in my mouth. so call me. >> immogen is really related to famous people like your dad. >> i heard. >> does it bother you when people try to find famous people? >> this is nothing. we are hard core in the uk. we had two brothers going against each other. it is like a brother going up against the brother. this is pathetic. >> i have a miliband. that's how i lost my weight. reggie, does this excite you or bore you? >> i try to find a word that best describes how little i care about this story. i realize it hasn't been invented yet. >> this story is schmirg.

according to an successor .com -- ancestor .com you are related to a bag of feces. would you brag about that? >> this story is not shabergin, i will tell you why. if i cannot go to some bar and yamer on about my famous relative, how do you expect me to get laid? everyone knows that i am william schulz and my great, great, great, great, great grandfather road with paul revere. he got further than paul revere and the only reason he got farther because of the note. and he looks more like bob beckle. on i'm assuming he is a relative and i will wear suspended post haste. sfwhie you know what that -- you know what that means. >> we will close things out. >> with post game's andy levy?

>> it is not like we have a choice. he just hangs out. >> see clips of recent shows, go to foxnews.com/redeye. vote on our poll this week. that's a pole. can we come up with something better than that.

you can see me on" the owe riley factor" friday at 8:00 p.m. eastern time. he will be on our show, o'reilly, on monday. back to tv's andy levy for the pg wrap up. >> thanks, greg. reggie, what is the belle bash? >> it is benefiting a foundation and we are giving the proceeds to the angel syndrome. it is specifically for children with this syndrome.

>> excellent. >> it is next thursday. >> next thursday? >> yes, next thursday night. >> sc, do you have a special guest with you? >> yes, my friend is here all the way from arkansas. he is an aspiring, political commentator, and i just had the best day ever. thanks for coming. >> immogen what's this of you being on the short list for vice president? >> apparently it is the fact i am not an american citizen. i thought it was fine. >> you are learning. >> i like the way you think. >> how did my candidate do? >> i beat him hands down, way ahead. >> back to you, greg. >> talk about doing push ups, you freak. >> did anyone even think otherwise? >> i don't know. go away. >> always a pleasure. bill schulz, you d