tote bag armed with rolled up yoga mat. it ain't going happen. it is where idiots like ted start and end. for fox news watch, i'm greg gutfeld. >> i can't believe i'm seeing greg wearing a tie. it's a wrap this week. thanks for watching. leave it here on fox news channel. we'll see you again next week. >> welcome to red eye. like three and a baby f by baby sh you mean bottle. andy, what is coming up on the show sth. >> amazon yanks a guide for pedophiles from its site. time magazine releels -- reveals it's candidates for person of the year. and if you're nervous now that kanye west and george w. bush are best besties, and he can

find someone else to be mad at. >> and that makes the world full of ill-favored children, greg. >> and you're just making these up i apologize for nudging. >> late year welcome our guests. there she is in red. fox news.com news editor, so hot that flame throwers are now called diane throwers. >> it's neat. >> yes. dropping the full bomb. not the smart bomb, not lip balm, but full bomb. and bill shultz, stds get tested for bill. and joe derosa. just saw him saturday and his opinions are speaking as profits are shrinking. it's our "new york times" correspondent g to see you again. >> absolutely. more like anti-no.

four-word review of jair palin's alaska program, greg. >> really? >> yes. >> no. you didn't read it. >> you can't read it. >> i know. >> bye. bye. >> see ya. >> they're greeted with vile and stalked something vile. average nally defending it's decision to sell a book labeled "a guide for pedda files" amazon yanked it on wednesday in response to heavy criticism and calls for a boycott. the guide, a child lover's code of conduct because they need one, you know, yeah. it was written by a creep who described it as by attempt to make pedophile situations safer for juvenile that's find themselves involved in them by establishing certain rules for adults to follow oh. i get it. it's a self help book. the company stood by the decision saying amazon agrees

but because we, or others believe the message is objectionable. but then, late wednesday after it somehow reached number 65 on the top selling paid kindel chart, someone removed the book. and the retired nurse's aid also has some interesting ideas on how convicted pedophiles should be punished. >> if it was just something that the child didn't have any problems with, maybe a fine of some kind. but if it was actual physical harm, or mental trauma, a few years in jail, perhaps. prison. >> oh. >> and i can come up with a better punishment. like this. >> oddly, i'd just enjoy that.

it won't work. you know what? normally i'm a fan of children's book buzz strikes me as evil. what was amazon thinking? saying it was okay? didn't they see this is going to be trouble? >> yes. i'm sure they did. and i dgs agree with the move to pull it off. >> really? >> off the shelf autos yes. i mean look freedom of expression. he has every right to write this book. i don't agree witness obviously. but larry flint once said true freedom of expression is not hearing the thing you love to hear, but hate to hear. once you tell people they can't write books about this, goits to that and that. what are you going to do? >> i wanted to open a store called slippery slope. i don't know y it fwhob a chalet. you're saying that because you're a comedian. and first amendment is your bible. you, like me don't have any kids. and the moment you have kids,

that probably goes out the window. you've got like 30 sids? >> yes. >> and we have a lot of kids in my house. i don't know. i thigh they're yours? >> they're all mine. and you know, after such a contentious election. >> yes. >> with so many people were just at each other i want to thank the child molester for bringing this together. it doesn't matter you who voted for. we can all rally around this. john bohner and nancy pelosi. sth sm legislation forever banning child molesters from kids. and books. >> he claims, he's -- no question this guy is a [ bleep ] but he flames he's not a molester. he hasn't gone to jail or hasn't broken the law. i don't understand. i don't get it. diane, what -- amazon was it stupid inputting it out there in the first place?

>> there is a lot of other literature along the same lines out tlchl we did a report on it on fox news.com today. it's unreal the books out there. this is when you find bomb-making guides. all of the stuff is out there. it's already there. there are tons of other books just like it it's because, i'm not certain everybody has a right to be on amazon. i mean, you write a crazy book. it's a private company and should bable to tell you. you know? this is not your fundamental write. you keep it in your stupid garage. you know? >> you're right. >> and don't insult a garage. it can't help it. >> right. >> and is anyone worried? whether have you kids or not is anyone worried about this book being out there? does anyone think a would be pedophile or someone never thought of sit going to pick this up and go that is a good idea? >> interesting point so. while

we're talking about the book they told 300 copies. so... here is my theory. all -- every copy was purchased by a reporter. for the story and now, five years from now, bill that guy is applying for a loan or doing something. they're going to go did you buy this book? >> forget five years from now. i feel it gave the fbi a great tool. local authorities a great tool to find out where the people are in neighborhoods z now, they don't have that anymore. i learned something interesting from the interview. apparently they prefer peddo sexuals. pedophile has too many negative connotations. and again, i'll remember for the rest of the segment, peddo sexual. >> and if you fear them, it's called a pedicure. >> right and exactly what you just mentioned reporters

buying this book, for investigative purposes now, we need to worry about this being on the record on the internet. i was scared to research this book today for that reason. that is what you mean by slippery slope. >> the thing is that the other thing is that you have celebrities busted for things claim they were doing research. >> yes. >> certain people in bands from 70s. >> who? >> i don't know who. no idea who and and there is 58 people gave it five stars he tould us heeds going to try his hand at a full-length november yechl you'll still have great reading material. >> and there is 2000 people that gave no stars or one stars. and his mother did give him

five stars. >> yes. >> he's published. >> and who will be "time"'s person of the year? someone, or something. on wednesday, an actual day of the week, the magazine kicked off the selection process hosting a panel to discuss candidates. among panelists, megan mccain and wyclef john. here are the names suggested by the group. beck, love his music. the tea party, nancy pelosi. she represided over congress, lady gaga, jon stewart, and of course this guy. >> i am going for goat man

this, is his year, he's come close. never happened. rick what do you make of the judges? when i mention their names... >> i'm a big fan of the fugees as the next guy, but i don't want wyclef jean in time's person of the year. i don't think he has the clout. >> and at least megan mccain's father ran for president. wyclef jean ran for president, too. it's like gorbachov picking artist of the year. >> he did have a say in that. >> and not a lot of people know that. >> i don't like wyclef jean.

>> and diane, isn't the real winner here "time" image zmeen. >> they do this for ratings and that is what you get. >> who is your choice? >> i actually, i work here, but i think glenn beck is a choice, love him or hate him. >> i'm not ware of his work. >> yes. >> without the tea party movement i don't think you'd have and been the most influential candidate. >> he'd argue tea party started with cnbc and that guy. and he'll never make it. >> and won't be the cover. >> who do you want to be person of the year? >> don't say the guy who wrote the molesting book. >> i won't. i'm not that witty. i read the candidate list, 5

people i think... i respect the miners but i -- . >> that is the easy one? >> i disqualified them because they're not a person. that is people. and that leaves 24. 10 of the 24, i didn't know who they were. other 10, i hated and remaining four were stupid. i'm going to nominate myself for trouble i've gone through this year. >> and is a good idea. >> sprint, while you're suffering through sprint you're like a mother teresa of new york city. >> you're the working man. >> the real hero. >> and you don't have much time left. and who do you want? >> willford grimly. i thought it's interesting megan mccain said for villains man of the year she wanted juliannea sarge of the wikileaks. did anyone tell her he's

swedish? by definition is not american. he can't be american. >> definitely his hair can't be. here are my suggestions. jersey shore. proof the american dream still exists. >> yes. these are guy was no talent. and that is their talent no. tall yenlt. but not having talent -- . >> they're making millions. i can't get mad at them. the porpoise helped save dick van dyke's life. he fell a sleep on a surf board. a porpoise brought him to shore. >> have you seen "mary poppins"? animals do his bidding all the time. >> and yes. y and really important for the reality industry and all of the big limos in bell air

would never exist. >> or ones taking like a comedian back there and stuff like that. >> yes. yes. >> and there is millionaire match maker, makes me happy i'm married and not to her that. is important. >> and maybe the maker of botox. >> botox is depicted here. >> i think it's going to be miners. it's a safe one. >> oh. >> and the chleans. >> or unemployed americans. that might win. >> so that is when we're all veterans. >> fwhoit say glenn beck there. is a horse pulling the cart. >> i understand that.

and i just feel like. >> either way, there are some points here at fox. >> they do like revolutionary med meta fors. do i have time to do greggalogues? >> oh, good. >> they answered in my ear. last wednesday, danny joseph wrote a piece on a community jernt for communists. where, quote, i mean like a glowing presence and joseph describes them playing table tennis and basically it's a dave and buster's. i know, small fact. communists killed like 50 million people. but joseph shows it doesn't mean they can't have a little fun.

and this is a quote, surprisingly open and idealistic place. they played poker. yeah. i often judge writing on what i call bart moments. when you actually throw up. there are a few. the two lines could turn solid stomaches. writers views, while he waved me out of the front door, i imagined the hazy light of the evening watching over poker players. i could almost see a grin. now, if you're imagining hoiz ghost, i'm sure you can see it. you're imagining it just like you imagined the rest of this crap. you've created the first-ever literary manic. if a child is choking read two lines out loud and stand back. if you disagree you're a

racist homophobic. >> i go to you first. was this a pairity? >> i'm sure i don't know what that means, greg. a agree with every thing in that article. interesting side note. tyra banks came in to use their bathroom this, is not a lie. i was happy to provide the reading material. yes. it was between me and a mao's little red book. she chose me and i was there for a long time. she got through the weekender and some of the magazines. almost finish aid cross word puzzle, then actually... >> stop it. >> we're running low. >> it doesn't make sense. two big quotes you pulled out to sum up the kind of things discussed is a woman saying we're a society putting that over four children and saying every woman that has a child is not a mother.

>> what does that mean? >> i don't know. >> this is giving classes to people? it's nudging. >> great for tee shirts. >> why do people row manhattan size terrible things? like... a video? yes its aing for gotten memory? >> yes. typical new york. and this is something causing people unhappiness. and allowed me to quote a song "common people". it's what this person is doing. it's just, we'll per use through this and find it charming. shut up. >> yes. >> and one thing they didn't bother me is that they're playing fooz ball. it's overrated. >> it's a fun game. >> this is a fox news alert. somali pirates just freed

british couple paul and rachel chandler, the puppel held hostage more than a year in the indian ocean. the couple were vacationing in route to tanzania abducted on october 23 of last year, they arrived in a central somali town. eye witnesses say the couple did look tired and did not show outward signs of being ill. they were given cell phones to make calls as soon as they entered the camp ground housing. the administration headquarters under heavy guard. fox news learn aid british couple paul and rachel chandler have been freed after being held by somali pirates more than a year. there is no word if ransom was paid. the couple had been held hostage more than a year after the yacht was captured in the indian ocean. they were vacationing when taken off that yacht.

they've been freed. paul and rachel chandler. stay with us for more on this developing story. yellowbook has always been good for business. but these days you need more than the book. you need website develoent, 1-on-1 marketing advice, search-engine marketing, and direct mail. yellowbook's got all of that. yellowbook360's got a whole spectrum of tools. tools that are going to spark some real connections.

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has kanye turned sour? he went on an angry twittering spree. following his tuesday appearance on something called "the today show" discussing his president bush is a racist. and using video of and matt lauer quotes. >> after the interview kanye fired off several tweets, including this one. i wonder if matt lauer thought that was cool to play the mtv clip when i was speaking about bush. end quote. >> the offending insy

dpent -- incident in question? it was so funny to me it could be a race thing because where i was expressing was my frustration for years and years of seeing you know... how am i supposed to talk if you're going to run this thing? it's under. >> i'm trying to talk. >> can you take the sound out of the overheads please? just pick up. you said it wasn't a race thing? >> please don't let that happen. it's ridiculous. >> you know it? was something we do every day when a guest is talking about an incident or a location we run video of that location. or that incident. and i -- there is nothing improper about it. nothing unusual about it. and we should mention president bush was here on wednesday he said he appreciated west's apology. >> so that is what it's about. >> okay and and that the

funniest thing i've seen. >> lauer still plugging kanye west's upcoming thanksgiving performance. >> and there is simply as if he never knew people would roll tape underneath him? here is why they can use an apology. these are young kids just out of school making a few bucks per hour. they're supposed to gather a roll that could be run during these interviews. >> what is going to happen to these people? >> they're going to get canned. he's trying to be a better person.

we're screwing up. >> no. this is reminding me of the larry king thing. it's clear that he's just confused. sometimes we do it in our ear. and they keep saying he's learning from experiences he thinks a man is out to get him. and this is another example. it's sitting there and maybe asking a question or stopping talking, he lashes out at people behind him then goes on twitter. >> and this is twitter. i go on and whine. what's happening to people? that is what they do. >> you're talking about a guy whose core audience are high school children and girls and stuff. >> there is a reason for confusion. kanye? you're stupid.

you're a stupid person. i've sneempb a man act with some conviction with such little information to back it up. you're an ego maniac, you're a whiney baby, your music sucks. 50 cent has been better than you. you suck. shut up. i can't wait for to you fail. you're going to fail. the empire will crumble soon. it will be righteous. >> wow. >> and bill, what did you sni. >> i don't want to bring it down here. the big thing is how does social media play a role? there are quotes coming from what we think might be stars and something they've tweeted. we don't know. and every time, let's not let this happen again. let's not let this happen again.

i'm tweeting about this after the show. back to you. >> all right. >> we didn't need that swearing. >> i had a point. >> do you have a comment on this show? i bet you do. e mail us. and my district line is very simple. and still to come, half time report from andy leafy. >> tonight's half time report sponsored by slides. the playground apparatus usual live a smooth chute mounted by means of a ladder, thanks, slide. ♪

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welcome back. let's find out if we've gotten anything wrong so far. the tranny in my bedroom caught you smoking. >> how did that happen? >> the trance duser that ionizes smoke part cells causes an electrical current, sets off the alarm. no more smoking near the tranny. >> i think a tranny in your bedroom can save your life, greg. >> i didn't look at it that way. you're correct. >> my apologies to the tranny. >> okay. >> and yam skon yanks pedophile guy. joe disagree was the decision to pull the plug. sheer what you should do. open your own online bookstore, then, you and your perverted friends can get together and sell your perverted book autos is it pre-vert? >> it's pervert. >> okay.

>> and diane, thank you for letting pedophiles know there are still other tons of books out there. >> i wanted greg to have reading material. >> the more they know, correct? >> and andy, thank you for assuming our entire audience were pedophiles. >> load it. >> yes. yes. >> and greg mentioned 300 people ended up buying this book. amazon, i used google cache. i found it and i noticed something interesting. larry can we put that up? do we have that? if you look under the customer who's bought this item also bought, can we spot shot on that? there you go. i don't -- this is something, greg. >> well, i can only -- i can only surprise -- surmise that journalists, joe's theory is

that journalists doing research also happen to enjoy my book. >> i will check immediately after. >> didn't pete townsend write a forward in your book? >> and "time" magazine announces it's list of person of the year. i am not on the list. so, as always, "time" magazine [ bleep ]. >> we're not going to be able to repeat this show. >> that is not my responsibility. my responsibility is to tell the truth. >> rick said you don't want wyclef jean having a say in the pick. that was a publicity stunt at that time. editors are picking it. >> i feel better now.

>> and there is a story. i thought they were picking it, too. >> this is great you made fun for saying julia is unamerican for saying he's swedish. he's australian. >> i believe -- . >> no. he's australian. >> he tried to pick up a chick in sweden. >> i neent say didn't he sexual assault a swedish girl? >> yes. that is what you neent say. >> sarcastic. >> joe, you said you think person of the year should be you. and you've never used at and t. >> i just went back to at and t. >> you'll be pining for sprint soon. >> it's like when i call you when i'm drunk at 3:00 in the morning? >> bad decision. bad decision. but then, i go back to the bad decision at the end of the

night. >> yes. >> and greg, you said you think it's going to be the miners. >> yes. >> they got trapped in a mine. anyone can get trapped in a mine. >> yeah. but it was a story of perseverance it should be the people who rescued them. >> better point. andy. way to shoot me down. >> the miners just got lucky and happened to be in the right place at the right time. >> i don't know if you can call that luck, sir. >> you can if you're a pre-vert. >> exactly. >> and greg, you said it's a small fact communist killed like 50 million people. you're low balling people. throw in another 20 million for stallion. and then, add other astarted freaks and you consider crossed 100 million mark. >> oh. well... i stand corrected. >> your attempt to minimize numbers speaks volume autos well, you know what?

shut up as always, it's important to remember communists are idealists. >> that is true. they will perfect. >> yes. yes. >> and professional journalism. greg you said it bothered you communists were playing foozball? >> that is not their own foozball. they probably caught it secondhand. >> ha! comeys. >> and i bet. >> kanye is pissed at matt lauer. rick you said people who are owd an apology are people who find us the tape. you have no idea how this works. they exist to get blamed for things. that is their job. and joe, no idea you were such a huge kanye fan. >> oh, well, you know i've -- he's let me down for the last tichl me buying album after album. >> i end up not liking him yet,

i've preordered his new one. >> what is he doing on this one? more sing something auto tuned? >> i hope so. this is just -- stuff he played on "saturday night live" is pretty good. >> do you want to come over at 3:00 a.m. and listen to it?. >> i thought you'd never ask. >> i didn't. i never asked. >> and sarah silverman tweeted on saturday, quote, i feel kanye saying george bush doesn't care about black people was poin skbrant a rare moment in time. that is poignant, sarah. >> coming up... just got out of jail and sleeping on the couch tonight. and first... what did this rugby player do? who did he do it to? first part rhyme was sex. the second part rhymes with a dog.

the disgusting story. straight ahead. ! " # $ / 0 i

willy wonka, another lonely weirdo latest issue of playboy comes out there will be a willy wonka style golden ticket good for a trip to a party at the dying playboy mansion. could be the last time for those with dreams of spotting a new phil maher in the grotto. and let's discuss this in our lightning round, aka stories we still want to talk about. so gits we do them now. joe, have you ever wanted to go to the mansion? >> not really. not really. for those of who do, i hope they find the gold ticket

there. is a promotion. if you find a brown ticket you can go change hef's colostomy bag. >> i have employed a warehouse full of oompa loompas so my dream can come true. >> oompa loompas are what you call your p.a.s. >> if your boyfriend won would you let him go? >> sure. after we ended our relationship. >> no. i'd let him go. >> if you won bill, who would you give your ticket to? >> think is an mazing and relevant and sexy offer said 1975. no one cares now at this point. >> i think -- i have no idea. >> if there was icing on the comedy cake. >> the worst people are at the playboy mansion. have you seen pictures and just go "i don't want to be there next to dennis rodman".

>> stop creeping me out, bill cosby. >> i'd go to see it it's not pretty. move on. accounting firm price water house coopers swimming in controversy. this week, a leaked e mail ranking a 1010 hottest babes in company offices. if they did that in fox news would you complain? >> i would take it as a compliment. i might be upset if i wasn't on the list. that is who is complaining. >> and i've never heard of women doing this. >> and should they be fired? you shouldn't do it on work e mail. >> maybe on your g mail account. if anyone in dublin is paying attention... >> bill, how big of a scandal would it be if your company e mails got out?

>> they'd find them delightful, greg. when you do this, no photos and don't use real names. give them nicknames like chesty mcwhines a lot and bloated mcnever does her home work. something like that. they don't have to be irish nicknames but there is no paper trail. >> amazing nicknames. >> and i sort of stopped paying attention there. >> i know did you. >> and last topic, red eye is there when a guy had sex with something other than a person a professional rugby player quit his team after there is a photo of him performing a sex act with a dog apparently happened with a teammate's dog. bill for the grace of god... and? yes? you know what? is there an old adage, you're not guilty unless you get

caught. we've all been there? right? surely i waez drunk. can youing forrive him? >> i can. >> my roommate in college was a rug bs sby player. they're all about a goof. he was drunk. >> i hope the dog wasn't hurt that. bothers me. it's like, it's consensual if they're wagging. >> no, bill. >> that makes sense. >> there is in. >> i yens backs up... >> can you chalk this up to being a rugby player? i don't know. >> this guy was upset and sorry, not that he had swechl a labrador, but someone took a picture of it and put it on the internet. >> i don't want to think about what did he, but i am. that is the problem with these things. is that they get stuck in my head. >> he'll probably have a book out on amazon next few months anyway. >> i do believe it's a crazy teen thing, you get wasted and decide to do something. but the dog is -- the dog has

choice in this matter. >> and i didn't need to know. >> and... oh. >> you wrote the book on this? all right. >> and kids, don't do this. animals don't deserve this. don't have sex with dog autos don't have sex with any animals. >> i know pekinese are cute and irresistible. >> bill will never get laid again. >> again. >> are these pants making a come back? and first... what does my mom have to intai this and that? how about get the hell out of here? please come back ju. kidding you.

>> that is why he was the greatest vice president we've ever had. only dick cheney, you can make a video game out of. because he's a scary dude, all right? i'm going stop talking. and yes. that means one thing ochblt time for messages for mom. kickback, relax. these are messages. >> hi. just wanted to say hello. this is his mother. how are bill and andy? i saw them on last night's show. they looked gchl rs also, i thought it was sharp to have

father john on. you know, he added a little fun and interest and you seem to have fun with him, too. and well, when i thought was really good having that robots ask him questions. the robots actually seem like the every man that wants some kind of answers to this, you know, eternity and so forth. i thought it was a great show. you really were very good. you looked healthy and well. and you know, that -- so that philosophical stuff adds depth to the show which all of you seem to handle well. however, i do miss the giants. i can't handle this, i'll have to get interested in 49ers again. they don't create that same old stuff. but anyway. be good. i'll talk to you again.

bye-bye. >> never know what she's doing with that soccer team. i never asked her. >> and pouring wine. >> pouring wine. she cuts orange asks then drizzles or yanks in wine. >> maybe she teaches them how to hot wire the car. >> and she's probably the most successful car thief in san mateo. >> post game wrap up this he can -- evening. yellowbook has always been good for business. but these days you need more than the book. you need website develoent, 1-on-1 marketing advice, search-engine marketing, and direct mail. yellowbook's got all of that. yellowbook360's got a whole spectrum of tools. tools that are going to spark some real connections.

visit yellowbook360.com and go beyond yellow.

just don't feel like they used to. are you one of them? remember when you had more energy for 18 holes with your buddies? [ glass shatters ] more passion for the one you love? more fun with your family and friends? it could be a treatable condition called low testosterone, or low t. c'mon, stop living in the shadows. you've got a life to live. [ male announcer ] so don't blame it on aging. talk to your doctor and go to isitlowt.com to find out more.

don't forget. i will be on the o'reilly factor, you might have heard that have show, friday at 8:00 p.m. eastern time. time to go for the post game wrap up. >> what stories are you working on on fox news.com?

>> wacky news tomorrow, and a sunday story on quiddich. people are playing the sport. >> can they fly sf. >> not in front of muggles. >> doesn't seem the same, can it?. >> interesting to see how they adapted the sport to make it like the one in the movie. >> if we can play, boy play. >> this seems like a great idea for a book. >> and check it out. it will be on fox news.com tomorrow with a slide show and everything. >> i love slide shows. >> i know you do. >> and how was your election night chat? >> i'm anchoring fox news radio coverage of election night. who walks in but the palins. lovely to have them. they're a great couple. during a commercial break todd says you know love whit you're on red eye. >> no. he didn't. >> really?

>> did sne. >> they watch "red eye" all the time. >> she hasn't said yes to doing our show. >> why don't you tuk her directly. >> and sarah? when are you coming on the show? todd can come on. we'll hang out never. >> never, greg. no. >> wow. how does that... >> she doesn't watch the show? >> yes. >> that is incred yibl yi. >> and you have weird powers. >> i know. >> final thoughts? >> yes. and spend money on mcnuggets. they'll never let you down. >> they won't. >> what did sprint do to you? >> we can't get into the on the air. you thought you had a lot of bleeps before. >> i don't like mcribs stealing mcnuggets thunder. >> it's a nice complement. there is room for everybody. >> there is