that is it for "the five." thank you for watching. see you tomorrow. captioned by closed captioning services, inc welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld. it is 3 a.m. in front of a live studio audience. so that couldn't possibly be me performing a solo naked rendition of "mama mia." definitely not me. let's go to andy levy for our pre game report. andy, what's coming up on tonight's show? >> don't step in it, america. allegations of child sexual abuse rocked the penn state football program as students rally in solidarity with the victims. just kidding, they are protesting their coach being fired. did rick perry's performance make people forget about his bad performances in previous debates?

and insert lame joke here about how i have forgotten the third one. greg? >> thank you, andy. >> happy make fun of short people day, greg. >> what? >> make fun of short people day was started in 1834 after the spanish inquisition was finished. >> shut up. >> and maria kristina thought she would replace the inquisition with something more lighthearted. so she established make fun of short people day where they could mock dwarves, midgets and the rest of the height challenged jie. there were no good days today. >> so you made up something toward short people as a jab to me? >> it was chosen by a computer algorithm. >> and it came up with make fun of short people day? >> you cants make it up. >> and it is just a coincidence that i am short and you came up with make fun of short people day? i can't fault you then. >> happy make fun of short

people day, greg. >> i don't trust that man. she is so hot she gives mirrors a third-degree burns. i am here with meet the boss tv reporter anna gilligan. there is the waive. stop waiving. if fierce comentary was line dancing i would do him in a country western bar. america's future foundation chairman. and he follows justin bieber, but not on twitter. it is my side sidekick, bill schulz. and he is so funny that even el elephants forget to laugh. it is sherrod small. that was a nice one. >> it was, two black people on a show. is there a mistake? >> i would make a name tag joke. and he is a paper and a diuretic. it is our "new york times" cory son dent. good to see you, pinch. >> i am actually half black. michael d shear reports that rick perry's cringe worthy performance adds to

inevitability that mitt romney will be the republican nominee. here are the three reasons perry lost the debate. his dlufer re, his body language and may i see my notes human handler? no, this is my whole foods shopping list. and it appears i am out of organic eggs. greg? >> so be it. >> be it so. >> all right. >> right all. the firing of paterno has created an inferno. on wednesday night thousands of penn state students stormed downtown like a bunch of penn state students storming downtown as they would, up turning a news van and chucking rocks and fireworks at police. said one dude of the uprising, of course we are going to riot. what did they expect when they tell us at 10:00 that they fired our football coach.

football is awesome. added another future leader of america. we are finding a way to express our an anger. but they were not ticked at why paterno was not dismissed. they -- his assistant coach raped a boy in aing loor room. it is -- in a locker room. it is football. i get it. meanwhile, what is the ashton angle to this story? there is always one. the beautiful, but empty headed actor is quitting twitter after writing wednesday night, quote, how do you fire joe pa. as a hawk eye fan i find it in poor taste. >> what a dummy jie. kutcher said he had no idea of the scandal and said he is turning over management of tweets to his media team. fyi, here is the media team. >> still more intelligent than anything has been said.

here is the deal, sherrod, do you think the students realize they were protesting a disgraceful end to paterno's career by acting disgraceful themselves? they made it worse. >> half of these kids are probably just high. >> you are saying that because you are high. >> kind of. they are angry at the media. they say the media got paterno fired because of the news coverage and only 24-hour sports channel and they pushed the issuesand pushed him and pushed him. it was like 15 years ago when we didn't have the 24-hour systems set up. >> do you buy that theory? >> maybe. here is my real concern, mccreer rewho walked in on the coach sodomizing the boy in the shower still has his job and will coach on saturday. >> which leads me to the next question, they shouldn't have a game on saturday, right? they should just shut it down.

>> i just find it reprehensible that these kids are protesting what -- he should have been fired. to over look sexual abuse, sexual rape of children is reprehensible. basically they are saying football is more important than doing the right thing finally. there is no way to redeem them, but they should let them go immediately. >> can we cut the students any slack on this? i understand football is really big there, but i don't know. it makes me want to throw up. >> this is the first collegiate riot in favor of child molestation. we should all take note. what i learned in my many years at the university of maryland college park, and this might be a problem because we are well known for throwing hour -- horrible, horrible fits whether we win or lose against duke. they don't need a reason to riot. it is simply just for the shear pleasure of destroying other people's property and

yelling and screaming outside. cut them some slack. it is not about football. it is just about breaking stuff. which is fun. obviously. >> it is not fun if it is your things. >> no, you break other people's stuff. >> that's true. college kids don't have anything. you know what would be great? if you are going to riot, go start destroying your ipads and your iphones and see how you feel about the destruction of private property. >> i am wondering why these kids don't go to sandusky's house and riot there? he is the child molester. >> occupy sandusky. >> you don't want to do that. >> if you showed up at his house though he would let you in. he would want to crack your back. >> the hot cocoa tastes good though. he has atari. >> have you been following ashton's career since the early 70s. it now needs an editor. are you sad you will not have

the unfiltered access to the brilliant brain. >> i don't think that there will be vowels in them. the grunts will be gone. it is rocks. it is fireworks. the it is turning over cars. it is college football. if that takes up so much of your life, you don't have a life at all. >> where are their morals? i understand if he was fired because he lost a game or they didn't approve of his record, but this is cut and dry. of course he should be fired. how could you even say -- >> i heard in 1998 they had to ban him from taking showers with little boys in 1998, before he retired in 1990 nip. he came in 2002. >> they took his word on it. >> i wear, no more little boys in the shower with me. >> we are so relieved. >> i now like women.

here is the thing, they are going to be sued. it is over, right? are they going to become the curling school? just curling? it is something andy-like? >> eventually this will pass, right? and there will still be foot bought -- football at penn state. i don't think the kids are thinking through what is happening here. this is very much like the homeless people, the vagrants that are occupying wall street now. this is what they do, get up in arms and march in the street. you can't ask them what is wrong. i have no idea. >> he he wouldn't have saved you when you were a little kid. doesn't that strike a cord in you. >> there was a here -- there was a theory that it was at most universities and that was the final. >> it is less like a riot and more like a flash mob.

>> let's turnover this van. >> from having a fit to stepping in it. on wednesday night the gop candidate squared off. i love that verb. >> it was a date about the economy that won't be remembered as a debate about the economy. instead it will mostly be remembered for rick perry blanking on one of three federal agencies he should shut down. and for those who haven't seen it look at the left side of the screen. if you have seen it 7,000 times, enjoy the cuteness on the right side. >> i will tell you it is three agencies of government when i get there that are gone, commerce, education and the -- what's the third one there? let's see. commerce, education and. >> epa? >> the epa. there you go.

>> seriously, is epa what you are talking about? >> nobody, we were talking about the agencies of government, the epa needs to be rebuilt. there is no doubt about that. >> you can't name the third one? >> the third agency of government i would do away with the education, the commerce and -- i can't -- the third one i can't, sorry. oops. >> that was actually santorum, bachmann and paul. >> as someone who has been in this business for awhile, ie me, what i just saw there what perry did had to be the worst response i have ever seen to a question. >> will we have edsasner out there with the -- in the mountains of -- somewhere.

who was that guy? that's my fat half brother, garrett. >> you had the answer stuck in your neck. >> oh my god. it is 3:00 in the morning when i filmed that. i was in london. other highlights include the crowd enjoying a question from the cnbc anchor and hating the response from herman cain. >> you were focusing on character and judgment. you have been a ceo? >> yes. >> you know that shareholders are reluctant to hire a ceo where there are character issues. why should the american people hire a president if they feel there are character issues? >> the american people deserve better than someone being tried in the court of public opinion based on unfounded accusations.

[applause] >> i may have had that backwards, actually. cain had an oops moanlt -- moment of his own. >> this is it. we didn't hear about it in the previous congress because princess nancy said it and it stayed there. >> that's what they called me in high school and i apologized. as for perry, does he think he stepped in it. >> i stepped in it last night, that's for sure. i don't mind saying i stepped in it. i stepped in it for sure. matter of fact, i think some of it is still stuck on my feet. >> in a weird way, i thought his flub was kind of cute, but the rep petition of he stepped in it he bothered me. so you couldn't get beyond that.

>> i heard john mccain watched the debate and they said this guy sounds too hold to be the president. >> how bad was it? was he done? >> i think he has done for a little while. he has a horrible case of foot and mouth disease. there are like 32 reasons why rick perry might be a shaw muck. i don't know which to brick up. >> and he he came out and made a mistake. there are all of these tv shows. he is doing letterman tonight. he did a great job. he is doing the top 10 list. that's probably the best thing he can do. is it going to help? >> i don't think it is going to help. i agree with caw mill. i think his time is over. if i went into a job interview and i couldn't -- they are like, give me three reasons you want this job and i

couldn't -- if you are trying to become the president of the united states you shouldn't have flubs like that. >> greg, you would still get the job. i figure asner. >> that's kind of you to say, but it is not true. >> they would be like, what? see you money day. >> he would be calling his wife saying it is over i tell you. and then you would crush his dreams. bill, you spend most of your days whacked out on pcp and you are able to put two words together, so you must run for office. >> i am in an office, that's correct. i don't remember the rest of a block, but his biggest problem is he can't do it either way.

when they let him go often the cuff, he sounds like a southern flop on qualudes, and then when they re-do it he had three. i stepped in it, i fell in it and had sex in it. screw it, let's just do one. you had to repeat it. >> you know what people don't want to realize is rick perry is a mambo. >> what is that? >> a bill bow, but a man. >> i am not sure. the guy has a decent -- i feel the very same way about herman cain. >> i will say that he has had these debate performances that have been bad. >> i will figure this. joy i think it will be good if he slung back a couple of drinks beforehand.

>> be yourself and stop trying to be what people say. >> that's why herman kane is a lot of people. when you feel like when he is talking -- i know you don't like him, but i -- >> you like herman cain? >> i like the way he talks. >> we have had moiments like that. >> and never get a job from herman cain. >> everybody who doesn't want him running and thinks the harassment is real, it is who he is. who goes out and says, don't be surprised if there are more of these allegations coming. >> there aren't any so far. >> if he thinks they are coming what does that say? >> i am not somebody that can look into the future, okay? we are hiring here.

you have the job and you are making more money than bill. i think we have to take a break. why are ugly people allowed to breathe the same air as the rest of us? and the new book. >> she is still hired. >> first, what is the most unemployable major in college. well, it is not greg's hair needing grooming.

should you think before becoming a shrink? well, according to recent census data, a paper owned by our parent company, awesome, awesome, super awesome company, clinical psychology is one of the most

unemployable college majors. >> yea, it is me! >> it doesn't matter because you are hot. almost 20% unemployment rate and a median income of $40,000. other things to skip, miscellaneous fine arts with a 16% jobless rate. u.s. history, library science -- what do you do, dissect a book? -- and educational psychology. the flip side, these are trading with the lowest unemployment rate, astronomy and astro physics, educational administration, geo physical cal engineering, pharmacology which is awesome. student coupling which is creepy. and getting your freak on with greg gutfeld. it is stuff that nobody can or wants to do. i know what you are thaipging. i -- thinking. me too fans of amazing music. me too.

>> h sherrod, when you looked at this list did anything jump out at you? >> all of these jobs are jobs white people made up. they are not real jobs. this -- >> this sounds like a well researched theory. >> i spoke more than i thought about it. library sciences, what is that? is there any libraries left in america? >> african-american studies was number 12 on the list. >> i was actually surprised. >> back me up. back me up. racism, he said.

>> this is smie -- this is my theory, low unemployment. the companies are under the gun to force these new rules about whatever and so those jobs are available. when you major in gender studies, your only job is to teach gender studies and you are the only one who qualified. there was a question in there, camille. >> no, you made a statement and that's fine. this is your show. i am just glad you keep inviting me back. >> what are your thoughts? >> i forgot. no, i'm with peter. there is a bubble in education. there are too many kids majoring in stupid stuff and spending obnoxious amounts of main. i have hired them and fired them repeatedly. >> they wouldn't do what i asked them to.

>> just wanted to be clear there was no weird things. >> what surprised you about the list. >> nothing. i majored why psychology when you are in high school and middle cool it is important to think and ask questions and have good reasoning. you should graduate with a trade. be an engineer and a pharmacologist, the hard things. liberal arts is nothing. >> you know what i studied in college? i studied chinese food because it is always around. >> very smart man you are. can i tell you why psych psychology majors can't find the degree? it has nothing to do with degree and everything to do with the person. the overwhelming majority are psychos.

did you ever deal a psych major. >> they are nice, sensitive people. they don't want to hear about your problems. y. >> does the fact that pharmacists do so well beam will always ant their pills no matter how break they are. gee you are a -- >> are you a pharmacist. >> i am, i am. it involves more of a bathtub than a degree. no one was more depressed than me to find meteorology was 1.6% unemployment. it makes me wish i followed scott into weather man duty. >> you know what is interesting? there is a me and a team in meteorology. >> don't for bet ology. >> did you just come up with that? >> yes, and it is probably wrong. no one will, it is 3:00 a.m.

and michael leer keeps popping out. >> speaking of scott, you can't talk about that. >> what is wrong with the sweater? do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us fox fox news .com. to leave a voicemail, 212-462-5050. the rave time report with andy levy. >> tonight is sponsored by the twit, and it first game a worldwide craze in the 60s.

welcome back. let's find out if we got anything wrong so far. for that we go to andy levy. >> are you all right, greg? >> i am mad at this sweater. >> the sweater is fine. >> penn state students riot over the paterno firing and ashton kutcher is a more ron. sherrod you say the kids say it is the media's fault. is anything not the media? if anything happens you say oh it is the media. >> i thought it was white people, sherrod. >> who do you think runs the media, mexicans?

>> what you do mean when you say white people. >> jew. >> in middle america you are just a banker. anyhoo, the media pushed it along. they pushed the whole story along and made it a bigger story and it is more of the coaches' fault. jay they push the story along by releasing more and more facts. >> i come from a neighborhood where i am not going to the cops. they fon on that no matter what the topic is. >> i saw that on the wire. >> you camille, you said the one thing you need is no one has to be in the street. i'm sure there were of students out there to get themselves on the tv or just like you said they just felt like destroying people's property. there seemed to be a sizable amount of people who were enraged that paterno was

fired. that's why they were out there. >> i don't think they thought by turning over the news van we could get them back. >> if that's what they wanted don't you think they would have chose n something else. >> they do it at college park all the time. >> as i tweeted last night, you have to understand paterno let seekz all saw because go on and then he also won a lot of games. that should always win out. >> we have to point out for the sake of the slower people who happen to stumble on this show and never watched it before. that was called sar -- sarcasm. i don't want letters. >> penn state is more like state pen. >> tuck kill up, baby. >> keep -- knuckle up, baby. >> keep going. >> greg know what's i am

talking about. >> i always enjoy you doing that because the closed captioning people are going, what? >> i think i can feed into it tonight because i have another brother who can back up the other side. >> i already addressed this. >> i don't self-identify as black. >> good. >> there is only one. >> irilliant. >> anna, you asked where the students' morals are. i think they haven't taken the class yet. >> i think they are old enough to know. >> i don't know. they know why he was fired. there is no reason they shouldn't be in favor of it. >> football, anna. >> can't relate. >> it mines a lot to -- it means a lot to them. >> they don't know what is going on. they don't know why justin bieber is not taking care of his kid.

they don't know what is going on. they don't know. >> in a nut case they are right. >> he should be a father to that baby. he is always singing baby, baby, baby. they don't know. >> for the record, we have no proof that the baby is his. >> i don't know if we have proof or not, but i know i went to sleep last week -- >> is that even by logically capable? >> why are we talking about this? >> i have to get it out. i went to sleep and woke up and the first thing i see is justin bieber has a baby and what i was thinking is how long was i sleeping? what year is this? have i been in a coma and nobody had the heart -- >> pull the plug. >> i am skipping my ashton kutcher stuff. read my twitter feed. rick perry said he was too old

to be president. he was clearly trying to remember something in the exact way he memorized it. he said the three departments i would close are education, commerce and -- the three departments i would close are -- >> they should do a remix at the end. remix! >> he had it all memorized in a particular order and when he screwed it up he had to go back to the beginning. >> remix it, baby. >> it shows he was just reciting what was said to him. if he answered them himselfs. >> he medical raise -- he memorized a talking point. you said if you forgot something in a job interview you would g get the job? i checked and bill is correct. >> you said perry did the top

10 list and we taped before that airs despite your repeated lies. they released info and guess what song they played as perry walked on stage. >> i can't forget -- i won't forget. >> anyone? >> i know, get rid of the energy department. >> two out of 3 ain't bad. now i feel old because i don't remember when he would have done something that predictal. >> blame paul schaefer for that one. >> blame his new heart. >> he doesn't have one. >> there is no team in meteorology. why do i have to be the one to point this out. >> andy, teem, teeming with

me. >> for good sake. >> if your eyes get bigger it can come true. >> that's how you spell it when you are teaming with delight. >> that's not how you spell it. there is no i in team and stuff like that. >> i said there is no team in -- >> such a jerk. >> i suckered you in. >> why do you think psych majors are psychos? >> every kike major i knew in college and every psychologist i knew as a friend was crazy. >> what about you? >> what about me, greg? >> you are hot so i didn't get past that. >> greg, how did that make you feel? >> i know where you are going with this. >> well done. it is your hour, greg.

>> i want to talk about this guy i work with. he is a pain in my as. >> can you ryan his name? >> shandy, bevey. never does anything, shows up late. always morose. >> that wasn't a rhyme. that is you there is no rhyme at all. >> i am done. >> that you are. >> i will see you next week. all right, coming up, demi moore is dead set against dating younger guys. it didn't work out once, so why try it again, people. but first, when it comes to the war on humans, have the robots already won? the answer will astound you if you are still awake after the dull half 250eu78 -- half time report.

h it is a fox with a creepy trot. honda, the makers of the always dependable accord, are you welcome, honda, send me a free car, unveiled the latest humanoid robot and it is more autonomous than ever. that means frightening, right? the so-called azimo can recognize faces, perform sign language and open bottles without being controlled by a operator. more importantly it can run really, really fast meaning you won't be able to get away when he tries to kill you. that's what will happen. >> that is amazing. >> sherrod, for once you will be running from the white people. >> it is an android.

>> no, won't bad people like you use this to terrorize people? >> no, it is the old-fashioned way, with these. >> god bless the japanese for coming through. who else would do it? we ain't doing it. you know what is next. bhafer we create as a species we have sex with it right away. >> that was my next call. gyro boughts, robot -- >> robot, robot sex. >> i have been carrying on in an affair with the woman fwh the iphone. -- by the iphone. >> are you frightened by this? >> no, it gives me hope. >> and honda says it will have practical uses in the public. but i don't see any other jobs and doing my bidding. >> i think this is terrible. we have already replaced a lot of repeatitive jobs with computers and auto make.

it will wile take away all of the jobs. if you have seen sci-fi movies you know what is happening. >> we are super rich. >> a lot of people will just not have jobs. >> people that rinna vai tiff have the jobs and the people who don't, don't. >> we will save them. >> are you okay with the rate going higher and higher? innovation always makes people reel thee yes, sir or have better lives. you wouldn't have atm's. you wouldn't have cars. we would right horses. >> what about robot toast? >> bill, you have been very, very close with the robot community. what are they saying about the

new guy? do they plan to join him? is something happen ?g. >> they are laughing at all of you at this table. you idiots. that is a skin skinny asian kid and you fell for it. c3po was more con differencing and that was 30 years ago. good lord. >> that is real. next topic, john lennon's tooth sold for $31,000 at the auction. how much for the rest of them? >> the hoe leer was in possession of his housekeeper which is creepy who he apparently give it to in the mid60s. >> the winning bidder was a caw canadian den fist -- dentist and is there any tooth you want from somebody like clive owe wensz or bob crane? >> it is not my thing. more power to them.

go for it. i have two from when i was a baby. >> tonight if you wanted to auction that off, i'm sure somebody would want that. >> yeaning so. if you want one, doesn't ring go star have a few of those. >> what about celebritys who are down on their luck -- well, 90% are attached. >> why not show parts of their body while they are alive? let's say -- >> fingers? >> charlie sheen's peat are falling out because of crystal mut, sell them. >> give it to charity. we should get something going. >> you only use one eye.

>> who is the other parity. >> this is ideal for down on your luck saw breb bra tees. >> amilio has a new film. >> good for him. >> don't care. >> do i have any questions? i think i am done here. time to take a break, but there is more fun stuff ahead so why go away.

welcome back. last topic. an over crowded spanish cemetery has begun placing stickers on thousands of sites with expired leases as a warning to relatives to pay up or face eviction. like many spanish cemeteries you can't buy gravesites until buying long-term leases. they removed the mains from 420 cripes whose leases were not renewed. essentially they are being thrown out for not paying. that's s sthaz -- that's something you can identify with. >> if they have to go they have to go. you have to pay a lease? grand ma doesn't know she is

getting used. >> does your grandma watch? >> it is the new dead that need the space. >> we bailed out the banks and bailed out the auto industry. will we have to bail out the depth. who wants to be in the plot and noticing -- you know vish -- are you not vanderbilt or the ex-president. you will get moved. >> why vanderbilt? >> because i remembered he is is buried in brooklyn. it is is it a surprise it happened in america? >> it is a story we had left over. we want to maximize it for a little bit it has blown out the last place arrest like grant's tomb. who is in grant's tomb?

do you know? >> hugh grant. >> bill, you live in a cemetery, but you were booted out of the park are to doing very strange things. should they move the bodies? >> very pipe dump. -- people dump. we are going to run out of land oh, the world is big. but we don't put them in a place where nobody lives. have you seen that area in queens and it is if i will with the people. and i'm sure a lot of family members want to be back. >> that's terrible. >> everybody shut up. you know what is interesting is there is no market for used coffins. did you notice that? >> financing -- of course there is. they were doing stuff like this. they wii take the remains and

sell the casket. >> i say get them up to urn2. >> get them off the urn. >> we will close things out with a post game wrap up. foxnews.com/redeye.

i will see you back here at 5 p.m. eastern time for "the five." coming up tomorrow on the next "red eye." return appearances from andrew w kay and kerry keegan and new york contributor dana vachon. so, back to tv's andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> thanks, greg. anna, what is going on over at meet the boss .tv? >> well, i plugged an interview with time inc.

people and then it was not up. it is up now and you can find it on my facebook page. check it outs. >> okay. camille, what's going on next tuesday? >> ron paul is going to be in dc -- well he works there, but he will be with the kids with america's future foundation. if you want to go get a ticket and come. >> how would people do that? >> america's future .org. that's a good question. >> sherrod, what you got? >> comic strip, i will be on the gail king show. you know me and gail had that thing. >> does that mean you are both dating oprah? do you like gail assistedman. >> no, i have my own oprah. i am on gail's show on monday morning and it should be fun. and i am back on fuse. >> fun.