talk tim tebown monday. that is it for "the five." see you, everybody. >> kimberly:♪ go, tebow ♪ go, mik tebow ♪ >> does the loose change you leave around airports fund the booze-fueled sex romps? some say no, well -- well

nobody is saying that, but it is a hell of a tease. fwreg? >> turks andy. >> happy interest mall skeptics day, greg. >> i am not so sure it is, andy. >> i assume you refer to the fact that even though international skeptic day falls on the first friday the 13th, it is october 13th. >> that's not what i meant. >> you are questioning why it is called international skeptics day when it is not recognized outside the u.s. >> exactly, andy. >> these are all god questions. and in the spirit of international skeptics day. >> i am glad i know this. >> i am not glad. >> and i am glad i know you. >> she is cuter than a care bear trying to craft a my little pony convention. i am here with a reporter from "the daily caller" and he slays audiences with his fine wit. it is tom shaloo. he is the host of funny story that airs tuesdays on sirius

xm radio. he is back from his yearly bath. it is my sidekick, bill schulz. sitting next to me is the managing editor michael money that you han. and his readership dies as it is used to swat flies. good to see you pinch. diswried in arts and leisure, we review a cracker jack of a film that looks at harry bellafonte's life. ♪ come mr. tallyman ♪ tally me banana ♪ come mr. tally man tally me banana ♪ >> that's the thing with the youth of today. they don't tally me banana like they used to. >> why do i know when i heard the name belafonte that would follow. >> you know what else is great? when you slip on them, it is humor. >> thank you. >> you are welcome. >> so, were they prostitutes or just in their birthday suits?

dsk, didn't know either way. the sex-crazed socialist is in the middeafl hooker ring probe. cell phone records show he had sex with 10 call girls. but strauss-kahn's defense is he had no way of knowing women at swinger parties were prosti's because they were all naked at the time. define the difference between a naked prostitute and any other woman. that is a bet worth taking. the best defense argument in history is also made for the best headline in business insider .com history. dsk, i have no idea if i slept with the prostitutes at the orgy because everyone was naked. i really should renew my on-line subscription. how many did dsk really sleep with? let's count with the help of a friend. >> one, two, three, four,

five, personal best, six. ing. >> i don't think that will holdup in court. i don't know how she was able to train that dog to do that and maybe i don't want to know. how do you argue with an innocence plea? >> the best plea i have ever heard in my life, and now i love dsk and his lawyer. you didn't refer to him as having relationships with prostitutes. the whole point is you don't have relationships with them. the great thing in this story was the idea that he was going to swingers' clubs. but he wasn't going with his wife which is the point. he was going to parties full of naked women and prostitutes. that's what the party was. >> and the thing is -- if you say you are going to a swinger's party and don't bring your wife, that's like going to a baby shower and not

bringing a gift. >> you have a year to bring it though. >> it is like a wedding. you have a year to bring your wife in. >> you have a year to bring her back. >> it is hugely complicated. >> isn't it like having a baby shower without having a baby? you. >> yes. >> we have all done it. >> this guy was almost the next french president. are the french just more evolved than we are? >> obviously. he is a swinger. i love the name dsk. i love how we shortened him to initials. >> we save a lot of time on that. >> i think it is a good excuse. in fact, i think you can apply this not only to this situation, but every prostitute situation. i have trouble -- forget the naked. i have trouble spotting a regular old-fashioned clothed prostitute on the street. i mean, these girls who ask me if i want a date scpirks assume they are spontaneous women who are dressed provocatively. >> and also the fact is you being as charming and good

looking as you are, that happens frequently with prostitutes and nonprostitutes. >> i take them at their word. i used to take in the meat packing district, i would take those women at their word. >> i thought they were tall adams apples. >> you had a relationship for two years before finding out it was a woman. >> the term relationship. just because you pay for something. >> is this what power is all about? it is about politics and being able to have eyes wide shut orgies with french prostitutes? >> in france, yes. it gives me the mental image of a naked body at orgies. >> it is disgusting? i think it could be elegant. >> did he say he was naked? >> they were all naked. but maybe he was in a white linen suit. >> you were sfolg this

closely. >> with a smile on our face and a great sound bite from the press. >> you just suck it up. i would say i feel like i am the only one that is that great of a defense. the difference between a prostitute -- listen closely. the difference between a prostitute and a naked chick is when you put your clothes back on, the prostitute will ask for money. and that's a great way to figure out if that is a naked girl or a naked prosti. >> great point. >> thank you. >> is this like when you look at europe and you see okay this is happening in italy and happening in france. these are two countries in europe. there are other countries out there that do the same thing, but i don't know the names of them, nor did i take the time to figure it out. if you can stop interrupting me with your silent nodding -- >> have i no idea what you are talking about.

when president clinton looks at these other countries, doesn't he go like, what happened? >> why did i get in trouble? >> you knew when he woke up he was like, france is awesome. they don't even care. it was like upgrading the americans. this is a news story in france, so obviously they care. is it the prostitute thing they care about though? i mean if they weren't prostitutes would they care? the french are supposed to be progressive on this. it is an honest question. >> i almost believe them because prostitution is legal in france, but there is some sort of thing where he could still be in trouble on charges graft. you didn't tell me you were a prostitute. >> i always had that problem, not just with the prostitute thing, but knowing how to say grift or graft. >> graft is a gay raft.

if you are in a pink raft you are like, i have been graft. >> in that case i have been grafted. from cads to ads, is romney alone? gingrich's latest on-line video accuses the front-runner of being a massachusetts moderate and worse a french speaker. just thinking about french speakers makes me sick. watch. >> what has massachusetts given us? a liberal governor who wants us to believe he is strong on defense, a liberal senator who wanted us to believe he was a man of the people. and a massachusetts moderate who runs away from ronald reagan. massachusetts moderate mitt romney. he will say anything to win. anything. and just like john kerry he speaks french too. >> disgusting. >> but what about newt's nonfrench speaking

credentials? are they i'm -- impeccable or peckable? he lived in france for two years as a teenager when his father was posted there as a soldier. and according to a bio of newt he, quote, had enough french to survive. when he would go off exploring the city on his own, as the french say, dios-mio. meanwhile, he is in south carolina biding his time. >> that wasn't newt. michelle, newt is trying to connect mitt with john kerry. it really confused everyone who now think mitt is john kerry. could this happen? >> no. honestly gingrich's behavior the past few weeks is so stupid that i almost believe

that mitt hired him to make him look stupid and romney look better. it is ridiculous the things he has been saying and putting out. >> it is crazy. now we are learning a lot about newt which is he is crazy smart and just crazy. michael, should we decide the gop nomination based on who speaks the least french? it is easier. >> it is really actually embarassing. i wonder if french media is covering this. in the media election it is like, the less qualified you are, the more likely you are to get -- >> incidentally in the ad nobody pointed out mike due caucus speaks greek. >> that's true. >> and that's why his candidacy tanked. >> oh he was in a tank. >> glad you spelled that out for our viewers. last time he's on this show. tom, there is usually guilt by association here, but does it really work? >> it doesn't work because cash dash -- dash i love when they do these silly attacks.

it was extra silly because mitt romney is not close at all. >> he is too good looking to be french. if he put on a beret he would look like one of those guardian angels. he wouldn't look french. >> that's so true. french people look like girard depardo which is swollen and they look drunk when they are not drinking which is amazing to me. you made a sound point. when he said, hello, my name is mitt romney, you could not command his language. >> it was good. it went so far that we chastised people for knowing too languages. i love french dressing and i love french bread. i don't like french disease, but i love french kissing. i love france. you know who else loves france? the beloved founding fathers these guys claim to love so much. if it wasn't for france, we would not be here. i am going to france, but i will wrap it up. again, i don't like the disease.

>> could never speak french because it seems to me they make weird sounds that don't come out of my mouth. >> i think is it sexy. i think it makes romney more attractive. >> a woman would say the french language is sexy. >> you don't think it is sexy when a female speaks french? >> i don't think it is sexy when mitt romney speaks french. i mean, it is kind of french. >> i remember saying that in eighth grade. >> that means i need a pill. >> it means i love marshall patan. >> when are you doing after le show? >> all right, on that note let's move on. from making up a flaw to breaking the law. does reducing time increase crime 1234* the mayor of la puente, california blames a spike of off fen -- offenses to cut the inmate population. sexual assault roups 300% and assaults with weapons are up 150% since the realignment

plan took affect a few months ago. to ease the over crowding nonviolent offenders wind up with reduced time and they believe it makes them bolder. he says, quote, i think more crimes are being committed because go in a year and i will be out in a week. i will take my chances. it is worth it. in other news, the u.s. department of labor is offering more than $20 million of your money. it is grants for organizations that help former prisoners find work. let's check in live where he can meet anyway he can. >> it is a shaggy dog tail if you ask me. >> is that the same one who was catching socks? >> i believe it was, but we don't have to talk about that now. this is a serious topic, tom. now i am totally confused. do you think the mayor is right? by the way, can i just point

out we did this story about a year ago. everybody knew that when they were going to release these offenders crime would go up, yet they still did it anyway. aren't they betraying the public, tom? >> obviously. they said they would spend $50,000 to beef up the police. what can you do with $50,000? >> he isn't even licensed. >> you should. i'm sure a lot of people at home were spiting. >> they were nonviolent offenders that were released, but these are violent acts. you are a smart guy. is the correlation or the relationship they are making sound? >> i was confused by this. it said nonviolent offenders. they are coming tout and committing rapes. it sounds violent and awful to me. so were they learning this in jail? does that mean that jails are breeding grounds for criminals? they went in nonviolent and

went out violent. >> you scared me there. >> should our tax money be going -- we are high on unemployment here. we have got about 40%, right? >> it is 45%. >> 45% unemployment. should our money be going to finding jobs for crooks? >> of course not. we don't have money right now. we are in debt. it should not be going to these people. if you want to give money to people to help them find a job, why are you giving it to murderers? we should give it to people who are trying to find a job who don't have a criminal background. i don't think we should be giving any money. >> i don't know if -- i didn't read indefinitely, and hopeful leanne de will if they give it to the killers. >> there are no pictures. i told them time and time again, don't give it to me if there are no photos. >> here is my feeling. i don't understand why we can't privatize prisons and build more prisons. why do we have to deal with over crowding when there is clearly an industry to lock up people after you let go and de

criminalize marijuana, just privatize the prisons? >> for sure, for sure. >> you weren't listening. >> i did trail off. i was angry because there was no pictures. can i see your serious point and raise you this? >> sure. >> if these guys are indeed learning rape in prison, then i'm sorry, as a taxpayer, i don't want to fund rape schools in prison. why do they have rape schools in prison? >> i don't know. >> big back the prison island. >> this was an idea i had a longtime ago. alcatraz, why did they shut that down? >> alcatraz was great. >> i went to alcatraz as a kid and i loved every minute of it. it was fantastic. why did they close it down? you can walk around and they always gave tours. >> there was the bird man. >> the water is cold. the guards don't get you, then the hypothermia will. >> sean connery is in there running around and trying to save san francisco. it is a great place. >> you are confusing movies

again. >> oh. >> obama announced he is heading the business of administration to a cabinet level position. just kidding, we are not doing that story. but first -- look, it is beyonce. are we going to do a story about beyonce? are you watching? that's how you do it.

is the left full of heck and the right full of might? twice as many americans consider themselves conservative compared to those who call themselves liberal. 40% identifying with conservative or very conservative and 35% moderate and 20% liberal or very

liberal. to put it into perspective, tomorrow i will be in my bunk bed and eating fonions. fewer of us describe ourselves as moderate. what does this mean? >> i guess ready set cat doesn't know. what a strange accent the cat has. what do you make of this? do you think there are twice as many conservatives than liberals? >> yes. with such a conservative president it doesn't surprise me. it is not surprising we have people upset and want to be more fiscally conservative. >> your logic in my opinion, the more you see something being i g es -- i guess you are seeing the policies happen and the more you learn about it. you used to think it was quite romantic and you see it in action. it is like, yuck, you snow

what i'm saying? i don't know what i am saying. you are a libertarian which according to gallop you don't exist. >> i don't exist. >> thank god. i see right through you. >> it is a depressing point for republicans to make a serious point. when you have those sorts of lopsided numbers and you are running these completely idiotic candidates that will lose in 2012, there is no doubt about it if it is mitt romney, he is not going to win. that guy is not going to win. >> i don't know about that. >> if you are conservative, you are nominating a guy who is the governor of massachusetts. he speaks french? good god, what have we come to? >> i don't know. >> tom, you take a lot of polls, and you have a very serious look on your face. what is your take on this? >> i think polls are ridiculous. first of all, the meaning of words changes over time. so moderate means a different thing than it did a couple

years ago. >> very good point. it is foolish to ask people how they define themselves. >> true. >> it is based on a word that changes. there is so much fungability in that question. most people -- more people in 1973 describe themselves as groovy than they would today. yet i am just as groovy as david cassidy ever was. >> i think you are -- you are on the groovy scale from one being one of the cowsils and a 10 being in the par trig family -- you know what bobbie sherman does for a living now for nobody who remembers him? >> he lives on my lunch box. >> he is a sheriff in los angeles. bet you didn't know that, now you do. the percentage of people over 30 who call themselves conservative has gone up. doesn't this prove people under 30 should be in jail? >> perhaps, perhaps. again, didn't listen.

it works in this order. i think people are conservative because right now we have one of the greatest republican presidents since regan. he killed osama and he wants to destroy the commerce department. can you imagine bush doing something like this? you can call him liberal all you want, bute ain't. -- but he ain't. and it directly correlates with the rise of the internet. the internet is -- has not brought us together. it broke us apart. instead of going into the outside world and interacting with people you don't necessarily agree with, you go into your chat rooms and go back and forth and agree with each other. >> who goes to the chat rooms? >> i wouldn't know because i am not an agoraphobe. >> you know what would be great is start real chat rooms. >> just like actual rooms all over the country where people say the same things they say in chat rooms. i will say that an interesting

fact -- in my line of work which i have been dhog for 40, 50 -- i have been doing this for 40, 50 years, and they say they are not as liberal as they think they are. i am not a liberal. i am not a liberal. it is like asking somebody if they were hot. if you did a gal lop poll, more people would say hot than not. they like to think of themselves as hot. and liberals like to think of themselves as more con conservative. bill made the point about obama as if it is a plus that he is more conservative than liberal. do you see my point? >> i do. >> do you have a comment on the show? that went absolutely nowhere. but you understand it. you at home know what i was saying. e-mail us. to leave a voicemail call 212-462-5050. still to come, half time report from tv's andy levy. can't stand the guy. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by ice fishing. the sport of cashing -- catching fish on a frozen body

of water. thanks, ice fishing.

bon-jour. let's see if we got anything wrong. for that we go to andy levy. >> dsk doesn't know if he slept with prosti's. either his wife doesn't care he sleeps with other women, in which case it is fine.

or he is cheating on them whether they are prostitutes or not. >> but it was an argument about swingers. >> it is a moral judgment and one i agree with. >> you know the difference between that and swingers is swingers are on both sides of the equation ugly. a party that involves prostitutes are probably better looking. >> that's the thing. i think it shoots the hole in his theory. the hot ones were probably prostitutes. >> right. >> tom you said you like how we shortened dominique strauss-kahn's name to dsk and you said it saves us time. you realize it would have been faster to say dominique strauss-kahn than to have that conversation. >> are you saying i am wasting precious time on your show? >> every night. so the lawyer says i defy you to tell the difference between a naked prostitute and a naked woman. bill, you said the prostitute asks for money. obviously you have never been to a french swinger session.

everything is paid for in advance. so once you show up you have no way of knowing. >> i would have to say i thought this dress like callaway and do crazy dancing. >> you are talking about hep cats. >> got you. >> by the way, there seemed to be questions about whether dsk himself was naked. michelle, were you grossed out by this image. his lawyer says, quote, at these parties people were not necessarily dressed. so the answer is we just don't know. >> okay. all right. >> i keep thinking of eyes wide shut. >> it has nothing to do with this story. >> i have been doing that for the last three months. >> by the way, getting annoying. i do not like being blindfolded and forced to play the piano. i would like to point that out. do you guys care the difference between grift and gruft? >> no.

>> maybe. >> look it up in the dictionary. >> gay raft. >> gingrich ad blasts romney for speaking phren. you said the attack doesn't work. i don't know about that. some people are thinking, well, i was going to vote for romney, but i heard he speaks french and now i am not going to. >> those people are not voting -- are voting for somebody else. the only attack that was going to work is the one about the factories. laying people off and it will work. you know what he should do? >> i love it when you get a thought. romney should go on "undercover boss." >> that's a great idea. get his hands dirty. they always love "the undercover boss" and in the end he gives out a scholarship. >> does he have a job now? >> undercover boss? >> no, mitt romney. >> michael, in a couple weeks he will be fine until the convention. >> he can drive his own tour bus, things like that. >> nobody would recognize it. >> undercover boss they put a

beard on. >> bill, you brought up the point that it is ridiculous to make speaking another language a bad thing which i agree with, but it is more ridiculous when you yourself speak that language. >> absolutely. i agree. and normally i am gingrich's staunchest defender. >> i know you felt shamed. >> i did. i was hoping you wouldn't bring it up. >> you asked me not to, but it is my job, i can't do that kind of thing. >> your job is to hurt me. >> have i to go where the truth falls. tom i get ja-mapel is my name is. >> i know. i learned that in eighth grade french class. >> that is a tune by the rapper eminem. you wonder what you can do with $50,000 to beef up the police? >> yes. >> feed them more. >> good point. food is not as expensive as

other things. >> and it beefs them up. michael, you were skeptical of this whole thing. he has no proof to back up the theory that early release em boldened the nonviolent criminals to commit more violent crimes. he himself says i think this is what is happening. >> it is a correlation not causation. >> good for you. >> it should have been a paul blarke joke. >> michelle, you said of the labor department giving grants, if you are going to help anyone get a job, why are we giving the money to murderers? that's a fair point. may i respond? >> sure. >> the argument here is that raw said daw very much is high and perhaps part of the reason is inmates have a hard time finding jobs. so the idea is that in the long run it is cheaper to help find jobs for them than it is to send them back to prison where it costs us more money. >> fair enough. i just think that right now we

shouldn't be giving anyone money to find be jos. we don't have the -- find jobs. we don't have the money to do that. >> i disagree with that. >> that's when this show really works. >> it doesn't happen often. >> remember it was going to be common ground with greg gutfeld. >> that was the original name, but we hated each other. >> we could never find it. greg, you asked why we couldn't just build more prisons? i think the issue is we don't have the money for that either. >> privatize. you don't like that idea mr. libertarian? >> or legalize drugs and then have less inmates. the nonviolent criminal. >> that's absolutely true. once again, michelle, i agree with you. greg, why don't you make points like that. >> michelle, you are geting in between us. andy? >> yes. >> why don't you like privatizing prisons? >> i don't dislike it. >> wow, that is a sound argument. it is sound. >> stop agreeing with andy.

>> gal lop poll shows twice as many conservatives and liberal. michael, it is 2012. at what point do you think gal lop will realize there are other ways to describe yourself besides conservative, liberal and moderate. >> did they define those terms when they asked you? >> i don't think they do, no. >> if you had gotten surveyed for this, what would you say? >> i am none of that. i guess i would say moderate maybe. i don't know. >> which makes no sense. >> are you a radical nut bag. >> tom, you pointed out that more people would have described themselves as groovy in 1973 than would today. >> yes. >> and isn't that sad? >> it is. it is terrible. do you remember they held hands and sang about coca-cola back then? >> they did. they wanted to teach the world to sing. is that so bad? >> no, it isn't. >> they sang about coke in the

day and snorted it at night. it was a better time, andrew. >> you made a really long con -- convoluted point that nobody understood. you said that's okay, the people at home will understand. >> they know me. >> i checked the red eye hash tag and they didn't understand you. >> i don't believe you. you are lying. >> i checked it. >> would you like me to explain the theory again? >> i wouldn't. >> the same way people look at their own attractiveness is the way they look at their conservatismism. people like to think they are more conserve conservative and more attractive than they are. that's how it works. see, i did it. coming up, what does human flesh really taste like? we discuss the book, just like chicken. but first, look. it is people on the computer. bet they are looking at websites. that's a nice ring. what ta world we live in -- what a world we live in,

folks.

it was a pay day for the tsa. travelers leave behind loads of change with loose security. and it added up to over $3. no, actually it is $400,000. but a spokesperson for the agency says employees don't get to keep coins found in plastic bins. instead they are collected and sent in an envelope to the finance department where the funds are going toward technology. light bulbs or other expenses. translation, we paid for their christmas party. let's discuss this in the -- >> lightning roooooouuuunnnnddd. lightning round. >> michael, should the tsa get to keep that money? >> no. it is a pointless organization

anyway. it should be completely eliminated. i was surprised it was so low. that's not a lot of money. i think they are lying. >> are you calling them liars. >> i am calling them liars. >> you don't travel often, do you? >> i have never been outside of the country. >> i did travel once to baltimore and oh my god. >> no, never again. >> that was a mistake. >> should they be spending that money on other stuff like uniforms? >> i like the tsa. they do what they are supposed to do. >> and one of the running themes, we always talk about the tsa on the show. i talk about the fact that i don't mind getting touched and groped when i go through. i think it is a minor inconvenience and i don't mind walking through the x ray machines. >> no, you don't. >> it is fine. those people don't know me. i won't see them tomorrow. i don't care if they see my outline. >> some people are turned on by that, i should say. >> i won't let them be. i am groovy.

>> michelle, should they turn it into a big giant tip jar? in the end do they throw a big party? >> no. i honestly think there is no better place for a pervert or thief to work than the tsa. >> really? >> yes. they can steel the money and they grope people. >> have i to defend the tsa. the people i have run into are nice, nice people. bill, the j.f.k. airport -- the j.f.k. airport, not j.f.k. they collected $47,000, and you are currently homeless. do you see where i'm headed with this? >> i do not. >> neither do i. >> i appreciate the fact i was included in this conversation. i will also say i have isolated the problem of why we are in line for as long as we are. they need to use that money to update the scanners. the body scan thing, fine, you see me naked. lucky for you. but the thing where you put qlor bag through, my bag is in that thing for so long that i can go to starbucks and get my half caflatte and that thing

is still in there. update that thing and use the money for that. >> save time by not smuggling cocaine. >> well, listen, what is the point of traveling? i don't know dealers in saskatchewan. >> i think they should use the money and have a contest for the most likable tsa agent. >> i met some that are real likable. >> it is too late for you. >> do it and once month you go out for ice cream. >> i love how you pretend you have a family when actually you kill drifters. >> we are going to kill a drifter, kids. >> drifter coffee crunch. >> beyonce is designing t-shirts to raise money for the obama re-election campaign. she one of 20 redesigning tank tops to clutches. don't know what that is. among them russell simmons, vera wang and my lizard,

sergeant scalely face. do the gop candidates have anything like this like kelsey grammer making khakis some. >> no, but right now americans are out of work. do they need an obama shirt for $45? is this what the 1% giving the 99%? it is ridiculous. >> do you feel strongly? >> about? >> anything in general? >> you look like you are dozing off there. >> i think the greatest thing is it was the first -- they did this before. it was called runway to change. now it is called runway to win. it is like they have given up. we just wanted to win. >> you know who has the change? the tsa. >> i was calling back to something. tom, $45 and she says it is a ripoff. it is wrong. >> this isn't my thing, but some people like this -- they are into -- i don't think beyonce does the designing, does she? >> i think she spends hours slaving away.

>> she has become such a -- she is a real american hero. >> yes, she is an american hero. >> she started off with the dancing. everyone is doing the dancing. >> you can't go the other way. michelle obama, if she started doing that sin crone thighsed dancing -- >> what are you doing? >> i don't know. >> i don't recall that video. >> are you disappointed in the fashion styles? would you wear them? >> i would absolutely. there are some lovely night shirts there. if it is not a nightshirt order an extra large and it can be worn. >> i love that. >> it is so great. especially if you have to get up in the middle of the night and do number two. >> more stuff is coming up. time to take a break.

welcome back. according to researchers, internet addiction alters your brain in ways similar to those uh districted to alcohol, cocaine and pot. 5 to 10% of internet users are uh districted and so absorbed they go without food or drink for long periods and their education, work and

relationships suffer. tom, do you buy this? >> without food or drink? >> yes. >> haven't they learned to just munch away while are you on the computer? that's what i do. >> it gets in your keyboard. >> you don't eat near the computer? >> you get crumbs in the keyboard. >> you clean it. >> i don't have time for that. i have a life to lead. >> get a little compressor. >> is this another one of those -- >> i think it is bogus. the great thing about it, their relationships and their friendships they would be going to are suffering. but that's like 14 hours of wizard games. i really don't think they have that first choice. i think they are pre destined. >> now, they separated out pornography from this, right? >> this is independent from that. i know are you high right now. do you feel the same way after spending time on the internet? >> i do. i spend a lot of time on readit. i think i am addicted. uh the lo of people are addicted. >> is that a game?

>> there are forms and whatnot. >> ups and down things. >> you up vote and down vote. >> you don't know it? >> i remember when it happened. >> i too -- this is crazy because i love readit or should say lereadit. >> it is so much clear we have in common? i believe that is french for common. >> the gaming is right. people who are addicted to these on-line games. before the internet i was addicted to good old-fashioned dungens and dragons. we would get into a basement and spend many, many days. >> isn't that what you were telling your parents when you were mutilating people? >> that's what i told my parents when i was doing drugs. >> we are mistaking an actual biochemical change in your brain for a process. it is like, oh, i'm uh districted to the internet. no, you are addicted to the things going on in your head that make you act like a rat seeking rat pellets. like i am on twitter and i

need to see how many followers i have. it is something in your brain that is telling you to do this. the product is -- it doesn't matter. that's how i see it, correct? >> i used to be uh districted to rat pellets. -- addicted to rat pellets. they are really good. once you pop, guys, once you pop. >> warning, don't listen to bill about rat pellets. they are poisonous. >> you build up a tolerance. >> no, you can't. you are lying. liar, lying, liar. >> we will close things out with the post game wrap up from tv's andy levy. to see clips of recent shows go to fox news .com/red eye.

>> there is no show on monday. we are bumped for the coverage of the republican presidential debate from myrtle beach, south carolina. that's a person, right? a new "red eye" returns on

monday. guests include patti ann browne -- oh, excuse me. tuesday. tucker carlson, dana vachon and anthony kumeyay. >> i thought we got rid of that music. >> i asked them to put it back on. it sings to me. >> back to andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> it is called michelle fields. you should check it out. >> go out on the field and it is covering events. >> there is nobody out there. >> can i offer a suggestion? a cute pup puppet called field mouse. i can provide the voice. maybe he can be french. wink. >> are you done, bill? >> no. >> michael, why is this likely your last week on earth?

>> that's a very good question and not a cry for help. >> it is like the most dangerous city on earth. i will be coming back. >> usa number one jacket. >> do a lot of cheering. >> m to, how is your new sirius xm radio station going? none of us would know. we were never invited. >> i do want the "red eye" guys on. he brought it up. it was on last tuesday and it is on every week. sirius xm on laugh usa channel. this -- >> you just made up some names. >> he is from "the daily show" and in motion pictu