welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld or as i am known by the arizona park services, the phoenix flasher. now to andy levy. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> are you not doing it right, america. a women's group calls forthwith willed hoing of sex for one week as a protest for reproductive rights. the shocking story that does not affect me in one bit. and is that woman reading a steamy erotica novel? probably not, but don't ruin it for me. and my will cay ian black joins us to talk about all of this and his new book. >> thank you, andy. >> happy eyes of march, greg. >> thank you. i'm glad you didn't say beware the eyes of march. >> why would i say that? >> it would be a joke. >> it is not like there is a conspiracy to put an end to your time as "red eye" host. >> i didn't know. >> greg? after the show can you meet me and bill out back.

we have a petition we want you to look at. >> sure, i guess. andy, next time we do this, you may want to let the director know beforehand. >> i let the control room know. >> they went to katie during this bit. >> i know. but i can't take the heat for that. >> we are not starting over. what are you talking about? what do you mean? all right, are we back on? let's welcome our guests of the the -- our guests. come on! how can you do that? how do you stop a show? >> that's great. >> just because of a stupid mistake. here we go. keep going, keep going. let's welcome our guest. she is cuter than a thousand lady bugs feasting on the corms corms -- corpse of a snuggle bear. and he is so sharp he belches lawn darts. and drugs speak at campuses about the dangers of bill schulz.

it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if wit were rehab, time sizemore would enter him. actor, writer, comedian. michael ian black. his latest book, "wonderful" came out and it is called" you are not doing it right" and the world's cheapest puppet. good to see you, pinch. >> they recorded a white house meeting between british prial minister david cameron. here is a taste. obama, thank you for coming. thank you for taking time to meet with us of the cameron, back at you with a wicked googly governor. apologies of making such a bloody mess of the oval office. i just got back from my chimney sweeping. and between pounding pots of ale and eating fish and chips. i am utterly noc ce red.

to you and yours, bloke. >> well done. all right. so they be allowed to slay, a symbol of the usa? an american indian tribe had permission to kill two bald eagles for religious purposes, i know. the fish and wildlife issued it after the arapahoe -- that makes me a racist? finally everybody knows. they filed a federal lawsuit saying refusal to do so violates their religious free m do. it is a fight that started when a tribal member killed a bald eagle for use in his tribe's annual sundance. american indians can already apply for eagle feathers and carcasses from a federal depository. that must be a fun place to, would. apparently the birds are rotten or unfit for their ceremonies. says a member of the northern

arapahoe business council, "that's unacceptable. how would they feel if they have to get their bible from a depository. now let's go to our elevator cat, ec? >> i don't know how i feel about that. but that's not the issue. we can talk about that later. thank you for helping me out on the pronunciation of the indian tribe. >> arapaho? >> yes. few guest s who do that. >> i am part of arapaho myself. >> i didn't know that. >> well, it is not true. >> why am i not surprised you would lie about something like that. killing them is like shredding our constitution. >> well, under the first amendment we have the right to

shred our constitution if we so desire. you can shred the constitution and you can kill a bald eagle as long as they are not endangered, and they are not endangered. >> they are not endangered anymore. >> well, that implies anymore. >> i am torn on this. it does president -- it doesn't matter this international bird. if they want to kill chimpanzees, like i will be upset about it. if it is part of their religious heritage, i can't object. it seems to me the people who are staunch defenders of religious freedom and people claim thrg is an attack on religious freedom should be behind this. yes, they should be able to do it. >> that's an interesting point. it is almost like -- well, is it a slippery slope that if you believe if the contraception thing you should believe in defending this as well? or if you are also defend eating eagles or killing

eagles. >> if they ever make chicken the state bird there will be a lot of con flicks around here. americans will put up with anything in the state of religion. she should have gone out to the black hills and started tribe and said my religion dictates that i believe that all-americans should be supplied contraceptives by bald eagles that have to land on the back of catholics and have condoms attached to their razor sharp talons. >> this is how you handle the drug situation. if i include per cassette in my religion i don't have to lie. >> they can use pay yow tee and it is part of their religious tradition. >> are you not lying. >> no at this point i am not lying. >> it is great to have you here. any outraged native americans we can say you are our expert. >> yes. >> if a bald eagle dies off

should we revert to the original symbol of america which is i think the beagle, but i'm not sure. >> the beagle? >> i don't know. >> i don't think the beagle was the original american symbol. we should keep the eagle, but these native americans can save themselves time and energy if they go to a massive wind farm. they kill thousands of eagles every year. they can sit there and it can rain down and they can collect their eagle feathers. >> they are kind of diced though, report they? >> a little bit. but it is an easier way to get at them for sure. >> i am impressed how you are able to weave a criticism of alternative energy into a story about bald eagle masacres. >> they kill our national bird just like they are killing our national energy, greg. >> bill schulz, you are our country's national huh maf raw diet. what if they wanted to kill you? would you want us to defend you? >> what if i was delicious of the ben franklin wanted turkey to be the national bird.

that is delich. i want to have eat the eagle and let us know if it is a culinary delight. and shame on you for not telling us that he is an arapoho. being native american is awesome. i want to show the pride for the red man with the sunburn. you can kill eagles and take paoti and have casinos and sell super cheap smokes. i am going to convert of the call me dances with bears. i from now on am a arapaho. >> you have always been called dances with bears. >> you know how populous they would be if they were delicious and we were eating them more and then you have the mceagle. what better symbol of america could there be than an eagle with fries. >> you know the bald eagle has no idea it is bald.

>> it is not bald. it has white feathers. >> but it also has no idea it is a national bird, right? >> what good is it being a bald eagle. have you seen them fly? >> they are confident. >> they lirks you want to -- they are like, you want to take a shot at me? >> eagles can't speak the queen's english and that is a fact. from bird fights to women's rights, they are stirring the debate by making men wait. a woman's group, is there any other kind? they are calling for lasses across the land to withhold sex from their mates for one week because as they note, quote, if our reproductive choices are denied, so are yours. liberal ladies who lunch, that's their name, put together they vent called access denied sex strike. that sounds cool of the founder described the motivation thusly -- american men enjoy the benefits of women making their own choices about when to get pregnant. if women can't get reliable birth control they will just

have to keep their legs crossed to prevent pregnancy. even married women. i don't think anyone wants that. how will men pass the time during the sex stripe? i -- sex strike? i believe we have tape. >> who needs sex when you are doing that? you are the woman here. >> yes. >> this movement or whatever you want to call it assumes men need sex more than women do. isn't that in itself sexist? >> i would say that is sexist, yes. i think the campaigns should be named liberal women go on strike against the nonexistent ban. in the process making it seem like women are only good for sex. if you look at the photo it says access denied.

so boys i guess is open until april 28th. get your bodes in now. it is open for a couple days and then apparently after that there is access open all the time for these women. >> are they making a valid point? >> no, liberal ladies who lunch, the people who get hurt are gentlemen in deep, loving, caring, long-term relationships with liberal ladies who lunch. i have a feeling those guys are not getting a lot of action anyway, greg. i think conservatives need to step up and fill the gap and have high levels of wild monkey sex so we don't develop a nooky gap with places like japan. >> we heard of the nooky gap. >> call me a liberal hippie scum, but i am against having sex with monkeys. i will put that out there. >> you have not been allowed near the brooklyn zoo for quite some time. >> up until now, i didn't realize there was a new

arapaho that i could have sex with one. >> mr. black, isn't this whole thing based on an urban legend? you always hear like to stop war they would withhold sex. there was a movie about smoking. it was with dick van dyke. >> i didn't see that movie. >> it was an urban legend because it doesn't really work, right? >> as a matter man to a liberal i don't have sex. it is one or the other. i don't know. 2* wouldn't work for me. but i agree. it is stupid. >> are we really comparing somebody being upset their contraception is being paid for to ending a war where people are getting slaughtered? >> ending the war on women. >> there is no war on women. >> there will be after this show. >> i want to know how the husbands of these ladies know what it is about. we are not having sex this

week. we are off for a week. is it tibet this week? is it the paper or plastic thing? >> do you not understand menstruation? sometimes you have to take a week off. >> you learn so much here. and to think this is a children's show. >> it is on at 9:00 in the morning. >> it is run by children as we saw in the beginning. >> that is true. that was a dig at our producer. >> no, not in the slightest. from political [stances|instances] to lap dances. stances to lap dances. does money have a tank and daughter not a saint? charity is not a name of one of the dancers. a strip club owner california donated $1200 to a financially strapped little league. the youth organization was on the brink of collapse and accepted the gift at first. i love the stock footage here. nobody is even looking at me. >> wasn't that the footage from a year ago when i was on the show? as news of the source of the

money spread they changed their minds and rirnd the money. the strip club owner, quote, has a great heart, but as a nonprofit little league i wouldn't want to do anything to upset my parents. the saga inspired a musical theater production by the piano players. take it away. >> god know what's the training was like to get them to do that. that's why i hate performing pets. you have to think about what they have gone through. it makes me sick to my stomach. >> it is just a beating. >> is this man an american hero, michael 1234 providing jobs to young women and helping out the community? i would say he is an american hero helping out the community.

i see no reason why somebody is offering a perfectly legal business shouldn't be able to donate to their community to better the community. i have no problem with this. if the community doesn't want that legal business they should do something about that. welcome them as a neighbor. >> exactly. i don't see the problem here. this guy gave money like 5,000 to red cross and they gave iting bay, i believe, right -- i believe right? >> yes. >> it is not like he is a mofioso. i was on the little league when i was 12 or 13. the sponsor would come on expwow have to over to kirkwood reality and say, thank you mr. kirkwood. if it was the strip club it would be like, we have to go thank this guy. and to take that away from a 13-year-old boy, nobody thinks of the children in this country. >> i think you hit the nail on the head. this is what this show is about. it is about the children. >> yes, the 13-year-old boy is

i crying the blues because he has the strip club t-shirt on. >> they oversee girls softball, the same league. maybe they feel like they are sending the wrong message by letting a strip club -- how do you look at this? >> they could be. it is a thin line. but at the same time, if parents have a problem with it, they can start giving more money, having bake sales, but the government won't let you do that anymore, so they can't have bake sales or lemonade sales. >> they probably just -- i would be uncomfortable with it if it was my child. but there are alternative ways to pay the money. they are paying the bills. >> bill, you actually sponsor a stripper. >> this and my daughter. from a distance she can't see a lot. i want them to have the strip

club thing on their softball uniform -- well they are not little. they are obese. and so they know life is not a free ticket. daddy is sick of bringing home his ticket. >> you know what the irony of the thing is, everybody watches strippers and nobody watches little league. >> yes, absolutely. >> did i use the irony correct on that? >> new cheerleaders for the little league team. >> kids on the internet will never know what it is like to decode the signal. remember the vhs signal and it was scrambled. they will never know that. >> there is a lot of things we miss like hedge porn. >> what ever happened to hedge porn. >> it was like porn dwarfs would hide it under the -- >> you had to peel the pages carefully. >> you thought it was rain. that's what i thought too. coming up, stories so

incredible that if they were geese you would call them incredible geese. first, what is a sexier than sexy novel? how about a panel of discussion of sexy novels. call me aroused.

well women read of lovers if you get rid of those tack key covers? that's the conclusion of the kindles, ipads and nooks nooks are coming to that erotica has sky rocketed now that they can download the smut on to the e readers. apparently the erotic book sales have grown 30% since they went digital. quote, kindles and the like are the ultimate brown paper wrapper. as a 42-year-old mother of three who recently bought a kindle so they could read "50

shades of gray" i was very happy that no one knew what i was reading. you would blush or something like that. let's look at a clip of the up coming film version of this erotic novel shall we? >> the thing about that is there was a baby in the ball. >> could i have done that. >> i don't. the baby was fine. and it signed a waiver. it was a baby waiver. >> have your reading habits changed? are you now reading erotica on the subway? >> i can see bill taking the subway a lot. i make my selections from him. >> this is not your cup of tea? >> no. >> i have to ask you -- i know.

>> i don't want to embarrass you or make you feel awkward. >> michael, as a married man do you find these novels are good or bad for the marital bond? >> i am happy that anybody is reading anything these days. so if my wife wants to read lady smut, god bless her. if it adds a little spice to our biewd hua fantastic. maybe she opens the kindle and who knows what opens next? >> it sounds like the opening paragraph to a "men's health" sex article. they use that word and they have five tips. >> does adding spice to the bedroom better using biewd war. >> you don't pronounce the r. >> here is my problem. rut genius on the web. you put out these great videos. with the ease and the access of the internet, will it create a society of shut ins? it is already happening with

dudes with porn. will it happen to women when nobody is actually doing this with their hands? >> i remember those good old days. >> there are a lot of analysts who predict it won't be long before pornography moves on to the internet. we put that aside for a second. when you and i were kids we had hedge porn. now you have erotic caw on your ipad. everybody is moving up in the world. i think they need an app. you ever seen the operation app where you undo a little lace and you unlock a chapter. you get the mowning in your headphones and set it to vibrate mode. the one thing that is interesting is this story gets wide that women are reading porn on ipads, from now on anytime i see a woman reading an ipad i will assume it is porn until they show me it is not. >> it is great if you see one on a plane and casually look over. >> every time i get on a plane

it is a dude with a laptop and real porn. >> i think that is crude and disgusting. >> it really is. >> doing a research story on porn. you by the way were looking a lot. >> and how is that report on she male porn going? >> it has been taking me years. >> this is going to be an exhaustive encyclopedia. >> you can read about it on women with problem bleep [ -- women with .org. what happens to the covers ? kindle cover of favio. we love you wherever you are. >> thank you, greg. >> oh, fabio! >> this is where your heart is. do you have a comment? go to red eye at fox news.com. still to come, the half time report from tv's andy levy.

just a dirt bag. don't even stick around. >> tonight is sponsored by cups. the containers of various sizes used for drinking. thanks, cup.

welcome back. let's find out if we have gotten anything wrong so far. >> what have we gotten wrong so far? >> for that we go to andy levy. andy,. >> yes, greg? >> what did we get wrong,

lots? >> no, it has been a smooth show so far. >> can we start with michael leer. with my coller? >> we can start and end with your coller. >> this was a bad idea. it is an all caps collar. >> do you have collar stains on that thing? >> yes, but one is broken. >> they are pencils. >> they are horse thermometers. >> you asked if the same people who were upset about the contraception thing was an attack on the religious right to kill bald eagles. i would say the answer is yes. >> it is like a slippery slope thing. is it christian scientists who don't let them go to doctors? i can't defend that. that puts somebody in danger. >> you sit here for 5 years and you have been complaining that don't come to me with the slippery slope argument that they are crap and you just made that.

>> it is pronounced arapaho, did you fact check that? >> i am part arapaho as you know. >> i know. we will get into your pronunciation of things. >> we are going to get to it later. >> how many times will we say this word before i get called down to the office. >> we are getting to it later. why is it illegal to kill bald eagles? they are not endangered anymore. >> i know why. because of the bald and golden eagle protection act. >> of course they don't have you on screen as she gives the most important fact of the evening. >> it was actually me who said that. >> your voice was high. >> i get high when i talk about something like that. >> it seems to me if it is off the endangered species list it should be fare game as they say.

>> what? >> bill little you said americans will put up with anything in the name of religious freedom. not really. to take one example, the amish are anti-war. but they do have to pay taxes, a lot of which goes to the military. >> yes, but they go toward scones and napkins. those don't go to combat items. the quaker tax dollars are set aside to go -- >> if you go line byline, you will see the scone and napkin line. >> the 17th amendment and it is an aggressive movement and woodrow wilson basically said the quakers should not have to pay their tax dollars to kill people so they set aside the scones. it was the act of 1921 jie. we are making fun of this and he is right. >> cat tau gore rickly. >> i am going to be researching this. >> i want to sit up there and look down on you just once. it seems like it would be really awesome.

>> if you are correct which i will double check -- >> i only have one minute of it of the. >> if i convert to quakerrism, do i get grandfathered in all of the scones i haven't eaten to this point? >> you get plastic forks. >> somebody owe meze a continental breakfast. >> all right. god this story is boring. you suspects the man who partnered with these ladies are those who were hurt. the founder of the group says she was surprised by women who expressed disagreement with the strike. she says, quote, women are screaming at me that their men support their reproductive rights and they don't want to deny them sex. her response is, so don't. it is a choice. >> it is a boring story. >> wasn't too excited when you

guys talked about it either. >> there was a question in there somewhere undoubtedly. >> not really. i brought that up because there was nothing there to say. now to the fun story. little leaguers return money to strip club. this is america 2012. the whole point -- the whole reason the league was in trouble in the first place was that the school district placed restrictions on concession sales. mainly they prohibited the sales of grilled foods like hot dogs and hamburgers. the league couldn't raise enough money. then a legitimate business steps in to help out and the league says no because it is inappropriate. you have the food police and the sex police teaming up, and now the kids are screwed. >> i'm with you. i don't think there should be food police or sex police. >> what about the dream police? >> i love him. >> or just the police. that's wonderful. >> the ironic thing, between the food police and the sex police now you will get fat kids who were greeting screwed.

who were getting screwed. >> that's why i believe i am introducing a bill for mandatory pole dancing classes in physical education for all elementary schools. >> are you the real hero. >> yes, because we need more fat little boys on poles. >> you read my blog. a pole is a stationary rope climb. bill -- actually both of you talked about the idea of 13-year-old boys wearing uniforms that say jet strip club on them. unlike the 2005 bad news bears remake where it said bo peep's gentlemen's club, they didn't ask for the name or logo to be put anywhere. >> these sites are more and more reasonable to me. >> how is that reasonable? it is marketing 101. >> the point is they were just -- >> all of them have moms that

work at the strip club. that's why they wanted to do this. >> you are getting an angry letter. you will have to apologize. >> i will be a spokesman. you won't even have to pay me jie. katie, you said if the parents don't like the sponsorship they should go out and raise more money apparently the hubbub was all about it. >> the parents aren't strippers. >> do you know they are not 1234*. >> well, i don't know. >> they may not be. greg, you mentioned that the red cross turned down $5,000 from the strip club. and the special olympics and the make a wish foundation. >> what is going on here? >> i don't know. that's a very important question. perhaps it is for another show. michael, unlike greg's correction, not at all helpful

here. >> we are going to have to agree to disagree. here is something i don't understand. according to the vp for digital digital -- that is the polish company, the romance genreen coming --en encompassing the traditional romance makes up 17% of sales of adult fiction. how is amish romance getting in on it? >> i can see m on admonish people at wal-mart all the time. they can't use kindles. >> hand cranked kindles. >> if somebody else logs on for them and possibly holds it, they can do it. the english, as they call it, can help them with stuff, but they can't do it themselves. loopholes, my dear, loopholes. >> that's a dance club. >> yes. i loopholes wanted to support that team. >> t-shirts, everyone of the.

>> lastly, greg, e books have cover so fabio will be fine. i >>- q. i had no idea. >> now you do. >> all right. >> all right. >> see you later. >> bye. >> brings everything down. coming up, will smith is gay -- ningi weight for a new role. he plays an over weight school teacher and why not? >> good for him. >> but first, oh look it is a story that combines my two passions, things and stuff.

was it uncouth to sell dolls a booth. *9 bookstore at get tearsburg museum removed dolls of john wilkes booth after some visitors and a prominent historian felt abraham lincoln's killer hospital be commemorated with a souvenir. said the lincoln scholar --

look how close he is to lincoln. it is inappropriate to celebrate a criminal who took the life of a great american whose words are commemorated at get teesburg. it is like selling lee harvey oswald at the kennedy center. some called it a gag gift for civil war buffs. let's discuss this in the -- lightning roooouuuunnnnndd. lightning round. >> michael, ian black or mib as i like to call you, too soon. would there never be a good time for jwb bobbleheads ? >> not there. >> the john wilkes booth pez dispenser i like. the bobblehead, no. >> i can understand if there was a giant emporium of bobbleheads. why does it have to be specific to get teesburg. where do you stand on this? tasteless or just weird? >> it is just too soon, greg.

>> yes, it is. >> i was just over the river at the alexzander hamilton site and i am just now finally to the point i can look at that without tearing up. you have to think, man, everybody knows where they were when you heard the news. here is alex january deer bu -- alexzander burr looking down on him. over time, time heals. the booth thing, i don't know. it is raw. it is like a raw nerve for me. >> it is, he is an icon and [bleep] on your icons. >> here is the thing. you if look at time, katie, we have been around 4,000 years, right? >> the united states? >> no, the world. 4,000 years -- >> please be reasonable. >> we stopped writing --

riding dinasaurs 4,000 years ago. >> theoretically it is yesterday. i don't know. it is just weird because the device we said before is whimsical. you can't sigh something whimsical to something murderous. >> it should be embarrassing it is a bobblehead. i think it is embarrassing for lincoln to be a bobblehead. >> i would like to be a bobblehead one day. >> if the day ever comes where there is for sale a bobblehead of me, my wife is complete at that point. anything beyond that is gravy. if you are an action figure or any manufactured likeness of you, you have arrived in america today. >> it might be a male-female of. >> a gender thing. >> all men want to be made of bobbleheads at some time. >> i will take anything that is my likeness. that's why i have children.

>> would a shrine of some kind -- >> let's no go over board, but yes, that would be great. >> there is something i want to show you later. a lot of candles and some interviews with you in local magazines. >> it has a tile flor. >> bill, as a confederate you must applaud the sale. >> it brings up a good point. when they said, this is a gag gift for civil war buffs, let's call it what it is, it is a gag gift for the confederate buffs. >> if you look at it as a tribute then you shouldn't have a tribute to john wilkes booth. >> a bobblehead in and of itself -- a bobblehead is a tribute. >> a bobblehead is a thing. a bobbleheaded john wilkes booth doesn't hit close to home. one of katherine hepburn, that hits close to home. >> is he portrayed heroically does he have a villainous

bob? >> it is a bobbing thing. >> if the john wilkes booth is served in the happy meal. up next, what will ian michael black have to say about his new book? probably that you should buy it.

well, you know him from the state steel law. and he is a new york times best selling author. i think we have a picture. his book is called "you are not doing it right, tails of marriage, sex, death and other humiliations." when an interviewer hasn't read the book he often starts with the title. why the title? why does it need why "you are not doing it right." >> the title, greg and i know you have read it and i thank you for your thoroughness. >> some hosts wouldn't do it, but i did. >> right. >> the title comes from my wife and i went to am amsterdam for our honeymoon. she was teaching me how to

smoke the marg rnlg ma. she was telling me i wasn't doing it right. five seconds later i was unconscious on the floor and i thought thatten cap sue lated my life. >> now to the table of content. i'm kidding. this book is funny, but it is not necessarily about fun thee things, is it? >> not at you will. well, it is about my life. whether or not you consider my life funny is up to the reader. it is about marriage. it is about fatherhood. it is about coming to terms with who you are -- who we become as adults as opposed to the people we thought we would be when we were children. i'm a comedian so it is full of jokes, but there is fairly serious chapters in there. >> yes, chapter nine. your parents divorced when you were young. your mom came out as a lesbian. this must have been tough because of your intense homo phobia which you were proud of. >> and it is something i president continue to celebrate to this day.

>> how did that affect your life? >> well, i was five at the time, so i didn't even understand what lesbian meant. i just know my mom was with this lady the way she had been with my dad. that was more troubling than the fact that it was the same gender thing. that didn't even register with me. >> it was like a new best end from. >> not so much if you knew her. you would know it was not her new best friend. it was mostly a woman who yells at you a lot. very critical, very, very critical. >> off spring would be happy it is not a new boyfriend. >> it wasn't so much what was up here or down there, it was just the strangeness of moving in with a new person. >> now, they gave you an interesting christmas present. it was with the hopes of what -- >> well, that first christmas i come downstairs with my procedure and my -- with my brother and sister and her son. there is a huge box. i am thinking it is the biggest box and for me.

therefore i am the most loved boy. that's how it works when you are a child. i wait until all of the other presents are unwrapped. i am teasing myself. i unwrap it expecting perhaps an airplane, something like that. it is an easy bake oven. i am devastated. i amen fiewr yaited. i am furious. what i realized was my mother was making a political statement. with that gift she was basically saying, look, we are living in a new post penile and new 70s world. all boys should know how to make cup cakes with light bulbs and crow shea and all of that stuff. she was trying to turn me into this vision of masculinity that she thought i should inhabit. and i have since become that vision of masculinity. look at me. flailing, flamboyant. me and bill, birds of a feather. >> i wish it was you and me.

you are the one with the kidment kidment -- with the kid. >> time for one more question, but it is a very honest book. you say something about marriage that no man i don't think would ever admit knowing they are on television or writing a book. you fan tau size about divorce. i never do that. >> my wife and i talk about divorce the way other people talk about going on vacation. oh it would be so great to go to italy ssments oh, it would be so great to get divorced. we talk about it openly. it surprises me that other couples don't cop to those kinds of discussions as openly as we do. we are open with each other. it doesn't mean we are going to do it. one of the great joyce is the fan fan tau sizing i can do about divorce. it is fantastic. >> by the way, you know when anybody gets divorced it is the opposite. it is always the opposite. >> meaning what? >> until you go out to a bar as a free man.

>> i would never -- i don't ever want to be single again. i love being married. i love my wife. but if i could have a torrid affair every now and again, every six weeks that would be fantastic. >> i am usually free every six weeks. >> well, something happens every six weeks, bill, and it doesn't make you free. >> the new book is called "you are not doing it right." it is funny and true and personal and i haven't read it. we will close things out with a post game wrap up with andy levy. but i am. to see clips of recent shows go to fox news.com/red eye.

back to andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> i heard this presidential race going on. >> and town hall.com has an amazing election page to keep up with. and moving forward, they have an awesome story about voter fraud in the march issue. go check it out. >> excellent.

>> first of all, you lied about the quaker thing. >> i did not. you are using wikipedia. >> people think i use wikipedia and i don't. but other than the fact that you won't be back on the show because are you a liar of the what is going on at declaration entertainment.com? >> we iniffed the feature film. >> it is called arapaho. >> i am guessing it is full of lies. >> well, that is a sweet thing to say. what a sweet thing to say. i am on the receiving end of these booking calls and it is not like there is a line around the block. i was outside the building and there is not a line of conservatives waiting to get on this show. >> all right. >> i wanted to ask michael about -- >> well, back to you, greg. >> thank you. katie, thank you, bill, yea. that does it for me. i'm just going to waive.