i'm greg gutfeld. i'm known as red level five. let's go to you first. >> our top story tonight. will fish fertilizer keep away the phish fans. second fish was spelled with a phish. probably better as a pun. >> and they are upset with a legos line of female figures. that is straight ahead. finally, what happens when we turn bill over with a noted naturalist. hopefully he eats many poisonous things. >> i had a pleasant surprise you won't believe who visited me. baron is back. you old buddy. >> i thought he had died. >> it turns out the skin color, this is normal skin color. he looks like that all the time. what he likes to do he has some

kind of potion it seems like he is dead but he can sleep for three weeks. >> it's amazing. he a good friend to have. >> i'm glad to hear he is back. >> see you later. >> let's welcome our guests. her dentist must wear oven mits. he knows the music scene like i know afrosheen. and his latest book is good, bad and god awful. and not a tad but it's muddy protective outer shell. this side kick, and ice cream sandwich and commentary where an angry bear coming at me and i try to beat him off. is it go me next to me is bernard mcgirk. he is older than mick jager. >> i don't feel so good.

he knocked on my door, happy 4-20 and sent me a brownie and now, and now, when the truth is found to be lies ♪ and all the joy with the new guys ♪ ♪ don't you want somebody to love ♪ ♪ don't you -- all my god the walls of bleeding. wow! >> that was pretty impressive. >> are you done? >> never, really done. [ laughter ] >> all right. this is back of plenty for 4-20. trying to dissuade hippie coeds by spreading fish fertilizer on

the most popular smoking spot. they would be prosecuted. fed up university spokesman, we don't consider this a protest. we consider people smoking pot in sunshine. they are engaging in an illegal activity. one student organizer says it infringes on his first amendment rights saying, quote. i do not see any justification for the university shutting it down. now, daniel, also had a comment but smoked a joint that was laced with pcp. [ laughter ] >> ten! [ laughter ] >> greg: oh yeah, very entertaining and he is going through a living hell.

laughing lady when you are high. don't ask me how i know. they will tell you a story. >> pleasure is all mine. >> i think it is. >> i am for legalization, but somehow i admire the college fighting the stoners with fish pills. >> i think sinking out of the box is brilliant. why didn't new york city police think of that. why am i surprised that pot heads can't remember, don't remember the origins of 4-20. dude. i think it's time we met or the police -- they don't remember. its beautiful idea. import some new york city cab drivers while you are at it. >> greg: you are a libertarian like i am. whose side are you on? >> i don't think it's a first

amendment. this is a result of archaic pot laws. it's stupid. the solution to it. this fish mess, protest is going to be over one day but the fish smell is going to linger. >> all the residents around there. can't they think of worst smell. so apparently playboy magazine rated them the best party school. >> why don't you burn the place down? >> why not? >> serious problem. >> what happened? >> obviously you smoke potted regularly, it's in your bio, but is this a first amendment right? >> i don't get that at all either. you know, it may say it's not a war drug and war on marijuana, it's a simple fact if there are 10 to 12,000 people in the heart of campus if they are doing something completely legal it would cause an issue.

>> bern any brought up a good point -- or i can't remember who raised that point. do you know the origin? >> combined weight of chief and jong and their moped. >> i thought it was the cost. >> was like kids in berkeley met at 4:20 p.m. but it sounds lazy. >> they melt at 4-20 on the police code. >> they are the best or worst cause. where would we be? >> but here is my point: like i want legalization but i don't like stoners because they are so annoying. they are alarm harmless. >> they eat everything. >> they are nonviolent. they just want to chill.

>> it's a free country. but they make a spectacle out of pot. pot movies, i hate pot movies. >> do we have booze movies? >> it's not a comedy in vegas. >> this is full of stoners. i can't tell you how many guys are out there with kids and family and not smoking pot and in your face about it. >> it's their stinky wine. >> and they are having alternative activities for people to go to that are pot free and they are not going to light up before and after. >> the contract says you are not allowed to mention pot.

>> from phish to flousy. three secret servicemen are expected to lose their jobs, to bring the total number to 15,000 -- i that i number is a little high. some of the hookers are being investigated by investigators and they are searching for others. one can be found in tabloid newspaper, that is danya who touched off this mess when tight wad agent paid her about 35 instead of $800 they agreed upon. one company is turning lemons into something. i can't remember what it is. i don't know. spirit airlines posted bikini clad and more bang for your buck to promote its flight. and i love spain, too.

colombia has called it disrespectful and sarah palin has been called into this mess. one of ousted agents and later commented he was checking her out. it looks like glenn beck. and cartenega, blow up superman. [ laughter ] >> alec baldwin. >> that is one of the most disturbing and amazing things i have ever seen. >> stl a fetish foster everyone. he is not hurting anybody. >> but behind the camera. >> he hurt my eyeballs.

>> i don't ever, ever going to get that out of my brain. >> michael moore. >> trying that out. >> isn't it weird, sarah palin is like a political version of kevin bacon. every story that you do. >> she turns up. >> coincidentally waits on the hannity show on thursday night. i met sarah palin. i have to admit, i checked her out. you know what, i took a picture with her and posted on facebook. there it is. i don't know if it makes me a bad guy? >> greg: you know what is funny, you posting pictures on facebook. and somebody took the picture. somebody helped me. this guy actually, he was protecting sarah palin. i checked her out. he wants protected dick cheney.

he didn't say i checked dick out thankfully. >> greg: i think it might have been worth it. what is your take, good or bad for cartenega? >> the $800 hooker should have hit obama up for a surplus stimulus. but drafting a budget nobody else can deal with it. >> he is looking out for the american people. he is actually an american hero. the story gets better and better. >> you seem to be very disturbed about this. i'm going to represent all the women out there. >> $800 women. >> they don't count. these guys, their picture of what you want your child or son to grow up. it commands attention. they say that they will and then they are doing this? it makes you wonder, so many are

coming out allegedly, but it's not just one or two so has this been going on for decades? absolutely. i would say it's been going on for about 20 million years. >> the moment the profession. >> and there is also the age of consent in colombia is 14. i looked it up. >> is that pronounced contento. >> and prostitution 101 you get the money up front. as a john, another rule of prostitution once you done with your business, you kick her ass out of the room. are you going to spoon all that stuff. >> whether they are politicians or pow what the can do whatever they want.

>> and legalize prostitution so the secret service a little aren't going to bogota airport with their tongues handling go out. they can do that and do their jobs. >> why do you pop cialis? >> and on what is odd about the counsels dense, you named her cialigs before the drug was invented. >> i'm told ola left cartenega ten years ago. >> the real loser is american bachelor parties because all these guys who are going to cartenega for the adventure bachelor party, they tell their wives, we're going to o a fishing trip. that is what they say. its fishing trip. they can't say that anymore. that is what was wrong with the ad campaign. one graphic was a guy going like

this. a secret no more. >> other up side and irony, probably the incorrect word. but the secret service will never work again, same with the hookers. that woman, because they are going to do a reality show. or i said yearly on the five. they will do a porn film. they did tiger woods and they did the movie with them re-creating the sex scene. they will do it secret service tour of booty one and it will have a series and all the women from colombia will be playing themselves. air force fun. [ laughter ] >> they are going to hire these guys in a nutshell. they could be greeted to the

door. >> i'm telling you. i'm trying to look for the silver lining here. >> you're right. and it's a serious problem. but we talked about this four times on the show and we went through the serious stuff. so we're talking about the weirdness. >> up start they were colombia and there were not blow involved. >> did you know that for sure? >> they used it all. >> but there was one report, no blow, i mean cocaine. >> and whether this makes any sense. >> maybe i'm unclear how to tuis a prostitute. >> ala-alalalalala. [ laughter ] >> i'm sorry, anna. and coming up, what is the best way to get rid of an annoying ex-boyfriend. and new book, i use a hatchet.

what it makes to be obama sandwich and we report and you drool.

lego, if that is their real name has a new line of building blocks for girls. that is shaped like the boxy men. and women's group say the figure is hyper sexualizes girls. i don't think this is real -- objects to the stereo timing for girls as the lego construction included hot tub and pool and bakery and a beauty parlor.

complains, they are little brats and fancy hair -- i think i'm getting taken on this. what is it doing? it's telling girls this is what is important to girls and they are not building space shuttles. they are getting their nails done. and let's discuss this. >> lightning round! >> greg:ham people sped through the lightning round. what is wrong with a private company offering girl legos. they are expanding their market? >> i think girls to want, there is an issue of girls being targeted advertising and kim

kardashian is a problem in herself but this is stupid. >> legos. >> they wrote hyper sexualization of women. has anyone listened to fm radio. braveheart. >> the problem with legos it's sexist and choking hazard. [ laughter ] >> and y let's girls have girl toys. legos should only be for boys. aren't they being sexist? >> i total agree with you. they are making notice. it doesn't make any sense. biggest issue i have with lego is the bad hairstylist. somebody called them the makeover police immediately. the hair just going like this on everybody. yeah, it doesn't make a bit of sense. i grew up like most other girls, my favorite color was pink. just because you are a female

you pick and choose. we may be inclined to like certain things. it doesn't matter. >> you like to play with mud pies? >> you may have to go to counseling for that. >> you to go mud pies.org, you would be surprised. >> and i think you got a beauty parlor? >> i remember when i was kid and making gas station like it looked on the box and it would be one big tower i remember looking at little leggo men, these guys could use a rack. kids have that option. >> those guys are lonely and you have lego women. i have a couple problems with this. i don't know if this story is real. because andy got to make a phone call and find out if it does exist. >> i never heard of it. >> two women in flannel shirts

did i love big fan of flannel. >> it's a transformation of legos. when i was kid you could do anything. now you can build sky scrapers. >> you still can't do anything. they are dumber now. >> there is always a problem with toys. there is always something. >> tell me about it. >> the barbie that recently came out. and feminist group because her laptop was pink. >> by the way. >> if you want to know about problems with toys, talk to my e.r. physician. supporters are over the moonies when it comes to obama and clooney but to have dinner the hunk of beef and commander in chief. and it cost $35,000 but fans can

win the sweepstakes the the average joe has a chance. should he be impeached? >> george clooney has dog. so if he has president obama who is planning the menu. >> that is a discretionary point. >> i think obama and the dog joke is going to live on and on. i'm going to try. i feel bad about it. anna, would you try to win a seat? >> with three -- why not? >> you like george clooney. he is ugly man? >> george if you are watching right now -- >> john gibson is silver fox? >> george clooney is like the silver muskrat.

>> is this an odd relationship. >> she is big and strong. >> she was on the cover. remember we put her on there. she does not like to date women of the world. he likes something. >> she is stately. >> he is not date an lego. >> how many times have you entered the raffle. >> here is the thing. you should be aware of this. you want to give obama, do it. if you give obama, don't talk about it. don't say anything more about it. more you do, the more i spoke. keep your mouth shut and give him your money. >> the more you hear about him the less you want to vote for him. am i right? is bill wrong america? i can hear your next movie.

>> paying $38,000 there better be a couple of colombian hookers. >> clooney there will be a lot of good things there. wholesome things he is a great american. like me. i'm america's bad boy. if you have a problem on the show. e-mail us and leave a voicemail on my direct line. still to come halftime report from the baron's grandson. it's true, andy levy. >> tonight's half time is supported by boxing. thanks boxing.

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welcome back if we got anything wrong. we go to andy levy. >> i'm good. how are you. >> what do you care. >> could not care less. boulder, colorado. fish fertilizer, update on this story, three people were arresting for trespassing after they refused to leave where the fish fertilizer was spread but it seems only a couple hundred protestors as opposed to ten thousand that gathered in the quad last year.

miss accomplished. >> so what does quad stand for? >> quad angle. >> thought it was something else. >> kirk, you didn't think it was first amendment issue when did you become a man? >> you were hang weigh cobain and now you are just a bust your ass narc. >> i don't think it's a first amendment thing when you are smoking dope. notices at first amendment. >> i was just having fun, kirk. >> you are just a bully. >> yeah. >> anna, you mentioned playboy named boulder the best party school and they also ranked fourth as reefer madness, true

or follows? >> true. >> what was number one? >> another college in colorado. >> why do they do these rankings when every campus is essentially a party school. it's still silly. >> but not all party schools are equal. >> you can have fun at any campus. >> i think that is true. >> if you disguise yourself as a security. >> hypothetically. >> hypothetically. >> you know what i do, i cried. >> hypothetically. >> with a clipboard and a large chain of keys. you can get in anywhere. [ laughter ] >> and leave them in car now. >> a large clipboard. it gets me in everywhere. >> gregg, you said the problem the stoners is stinky wine?

>> marijuana is stinky. i have a problem walking three times square and you go into that cloud of skunk. it's like amazing. why do people smoke pot that could smells that bad. >> it's maybe to cover it up. it's the chicken and egg question. it's the petuli and pot question. okay. >> secret service, total number agents is up to 15,000, i think it's 9. >> i knew it was one of the two. i wanted to err on the side of uncaution. >> secret service only employs 3200 special agents, that could have been a tip-off. >> bernard, you have gone a long

way if for the dick cheney joke. i'm not sure it was worth it. actually my time has aired. i'm the man. bernard, also you said we think we need to legalize prostitution so secret service can take care of that stuff. i agree. i think it should be legalize but the point they were on the job so even if it were legal here. it would still be a problem. >> but they could take care of their business. it wouldn't be front. the road trip. hey, we're going to cartenega. we're coming to hang out. >> we're going fishing. >> we're going golfing and fishing. that wouldn't be on their mind. nobody would go to costa rica, i'll say that right now.

>> now i just realized on these trips. i show up on the golf course and nobody is there. >> that is so true. >> it's the best golfing. >> my entire life makes sense. >> the scandal going to do to bachelor parties with the river rafting. >> you might be right. [ laughter ] >> and increases popularity. >> when i saw deliverance, i said hey. >> that is a bachelor party. >> no more of these quiet weekends in new england for me. i think it's a big deal and who long has been going on. i would have to say, a bunch of military personnel. when i was in the army i did not know anybody engaged in activity with a prostitute particularly when i was in korea. i didn't know anybody. >> what did you do in korea,

andy? >> i showed up at the golf course at 7:00 a.m. >> i feel like you were polishing your rifle an awful a lot. [ laughter ] >> that is what you do. >> weren't you -- >> you don't polish a rifle. you clean a rifle. >> he was wasn't talking battle m-16. >> greg you want your rifle to gleam so it can be easily seen by the enemy. that is what you want. >> lego stuff. >> and do you think that isn't real. >> spark is a quote, this is from the website, a girl fueled activist movement to end the sexualization of women and girls in the media. >> how do they smel spell it? >> the old-fashioned spelling of girl and women. they are clearly not serious. >> you are supposed to change

the lexicon. alter the letters. >> you can't change the culture unless you change the lexicon. >> thank you. >> saend now, he was. >> kirk, you said this is stupid i forgot to say why. you did say it was it was stupid. my point was going to be. >> how many things are. >> that's right. i think you were the one who said the toys should be just advertised to everyone. >> but apparently not. the thing they are is up set, lego used to advertise to advertise to boys and girls. a short while ago, or ten years ago, they stopped doing that and advertised primarily to boys. >> how do you advertise primarily to anybody.

>> but in your commercials they show mostly, if not all boys playing with legos. they don't show girls. they want lego to go back to advertising all of their toys for all children. >> fine for them. whatever. can't get excited about it. i'm sorry. >> okay. all right. >> anna you said just because you are a girl you can't do the same thing as boys is saying. spark is saying, quote, because girls like to have adventures they deserve themselves taking parent in ninja quest and your anything to other planets? >> so take the little girl doll and let her build the spaceship and do whatever? >> that is actually what spark is saying. they are saying they don't want it advertised to girls, working in a cafe or something.

they want -- >> to have boys and girls and little boys want to play with the girl dolls is fine. >> this is my point. girls and boys in cafes, mind you. >> that is what spark wants. they want everything to be advertised. they want everything to be gender knew federal. >> just like bill -- i'm sorry. not really. we've lost sight of the fact what makes for valuable work. i don't believe they understand valuable work. not everybody can be working on a space shuttle. >> i'll let them work on it but damn i'm going to let them drive it. >> shame on you. >> and without directions you wouldn't know thousand get home. >> and other issues. will you please turn off the

blinker. >> and obama thing, you said for three dollar ticket you would try to win. do anything to qualify. financial contribution will not increase your odds of winning. >> but have to pay a minimum of three dollars? >> no, you don't have to pay anything. you have to fill out a form. >> that is not true? >> it is true. >> what is the point of it being raising money for the obama campaign? >> they are raising money by charging $38,000 to donors. >> i read in the it was a little as $3. >> it is a little as nothing. >> you are wrong. >> coming up. story is so tremendous if there was a water slide, that is a tremendous water slide but they are not. what happens when bill schultz eats his way through central park? dr

>> greg: with the economy continuing to confound, do we continue to eat what is on the ground. now, the self-described naturalist is doing tours and teaching plant enthusiasts what is good. and to eat and handful. >> i am old safari and i'm armed with naturalist, steve wild man brill who knows everything about central park about picking stuff off the ground and eating it. are you going to show me around? >> let's come this way. >> i have to walk there way. >> i want you to taste it first. >> it tastes like homeless

person urine. now i'm getting past the urine. it tastes like -- i want to say garlicy, it's a mustard. >> it's a mustard. it's called poor man's pepper. kind of man and i do like pepper. >> it's wood sorrel. it has three leaves shaped like a heart. people confused it with clover that has no leaves and no heart. that reminds me of a guy that ran off with my girlfriend on valentine's day. >> this comes from japan. you see the knots. do you see them or not? >> it tastes like something good. help me sound it out. it tastes like sour, sour. >> i was about to say it's

related to rhubarb. >> poison ivy is especially bad if you burn it. the most famous person lives in west chester. bill clinton doesn't inhale. >> this guy, get out of here. >> this is poison hemlock. it stops the brain from communicating with the heart and lungs. there is only one person that could eat this and survive. >> who is that? >> george bush. he has no brain. >> you see that chick that just walked by. talk about a spice rack. over there. yeah, yeah. >> i'm getting old. >> we're doing a demo. >> i'll be right out. >> we'll be right out.

>> i know you are in here a lot. i know who you are. >> you're talking about him. >> i'm very famous, too. >> that a good point. i don't think i did any damage. i'll be careful. >> i'll than careful about your fence. >> definitely. >> and vegetation. you can't walk into some place that is fenced. i. >> i don't think how garlic and mustardy this plant is. >> just so we're on the same understanding. >> okay. i will. >> thank you. >> here give this a try. i think he is a big fan. >> so what have we learned. one, don't hop the fence. two, i have to work on my fake

laughter. >> that is the first time. last words interrupted tell you to stop and you keep filming. >> and right up there to there. >> keep rolling. >> i saw the bush joke before the segment started. and they went -- >> we didn't use one ounce of water on the pounds of things we ate. pesticide. these things are covered in animal urine and he says, we never had a problem. i didn't think he was talking about the weeds and everyone else got sick. >> was this all an excuse so you could buy a safari outfit? >> i enjoyed that one. sng i'm single so if you see me

wear it, talk to me. >> coming up, more crude. what makes the sleep number store different? the sleep number bed. the magic of this bed is that you're sleeping on something that conforms to your individual shape. wow! that feels really good. you can adjust it to whatever your needs are. so whatever you feel like, the sleep number bed's going to provide it for you. now, sleep number redefines memory foam, combining coolfit gel foam with sleep number adjustability. during the final days of our white sale, receive $400 in free bedding. only at the sleep number store, where queen mattresses start at just $699.

a graduate of indiana university is the first wikipedia user made one million edits. he has editing since 20055 specializing in politics, philosophy and religion. he may be the only one to did the feat because they are losing editors. this is bigger achievement because this one is real. >> it's amazing. >> it's also for the next shot will be the huffington post. >> that is good point. they do all this writing. a million edits for free. >> i was thinking, when i first heard about the story, this guy would a lot of fun to have a drink with. he probably doesn't get out of his basement. it was cool to edit. it was kind of a neat thing but apparently a lot more people to

edit anymore. >> here is the thing. bernie, i don't know anybody who does this stuff. to me it's most fascinating and big as universe. for everything you are wearing there is a wikipediaen tri-. even with elves. >> i'm just as unfamiliar with google. i mean. who knows what this guy is editing is right or correct or justified. if he knows what he is doing. >> he is a religious shall -- i think religious blogger but i am fascinating and obsessed with the idea, if you type in any word, somebody wrote it. it's like an alternative universe. every sk thing. took the tiniest detail about the eyeball. it's constantly being debased.

>> do you know this guy? >> how do i answer. you win. it will be in there forever. let this guy get let his get publicity and wikipedia bus someone will type in my sigh side and will type in and they will get 18 and over. >> it's a collection of photos of people's tongues. >> greg: not useful in any way shape or form. so actual debates if you click on something. behind the scenes wikipedia, somebody is fat, you click on that, whether the discussion the worth should be used. it's going on, to me it's amazing, you are creating this -- i'm going shut up.

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>> bill: "the o'reilly factor" is on. tonight. >> i am sorry for the loss of your son. i did not know how old he was.