>> turn me loose. should climate change be played alive and then forced to watch as dogs eat their intro. the shocking tease that doesn't accurately describe the story. and four college professors visit the university to talk about the occupy movement finally what did penn gillette think about the time he spent on "the apprentice." good thing he is here to tell us. >> how was your weekend? >> good. >> let's welcome -- he performs tricks like i perform them. it is penn gillette. and he has a new pod cast you can find it at penn sunday school.com. that was the longest intro ever. >> thank you. i appreciate it. >> he is so sharp he can cut hair with his thoughts. i am told he can get bloody.

and it is proven that he gives cancer to laboratory rats. it is my repulsive sidekicks, bill schulz. 1k3 he is smarter than an 8 ball , and it sounds painful. sitting next to me, the former u.s. am ambassador to the u.n and contributor. and he skews the scats for the democrats. how are you, pinch? >> happy birthday, william shakespear. he went on to produce things that have yet to be duplicated anywhere except in our thursday style section. here is a favorite line of mine. "they say i am crazy because i'm about to go dumb again. they ain't see me because i pull up. throw your diamonds we're in the -- and that might have been kanye. no, it may have been shakespear. >> it never gets better.

does it pay to get your ba? according to the government data, no way. one in two tbrads are jobless or unemployed with many scraping by as waiters or waitresses or personal assistants to greg gutfeld. my problem areas won't shave themselves, people. the ap says it is the worst in 12 years thanks to technological advances that are killing jobs like bank tellers. those with degrees are hurt the most. many are facing a double whammy, a term i just coined of rising tuitions and poor job prospects. one said, quote, we are failing kids coming out of college. let's go to the red eye senior cory spawn department. correspondent. ace, what do you have? >> that was good.

>> that was good. you know, what i don't think we can improve upon that. >> good night. >> unless we all strip naked. tucker, i am going to you first because i like your tie. #r* we failing these kids coming out of college or are they failing us? >> of course they are failing us. we failed them by telling them one of the greatest lies is that a college degree guarantees you anything. of course it doesn't guarantee you except a ton of debt and possibly four wasted years. most people should think twice about going to college. if you know what you want, go for it. if not think through an apprenticeshipment. >> here is the problem. most kids these days don't know what to do until they are 25 or 27, right? isn't that really the issue? >> it has to be on odd number. >> okay, it can be 26. >> i finished high school on a plea bargain. i didn't really finish. i had something on the principal. >> that's good. >> then i went to ringling

brothers and barnum and bailey where i studied falling down and had remedial make up. i was happy not going to college. and it upset my parents because i didn't go. but it turned out to be really good. >> yes. when i first saw you in the 1980s you were probably college age and you were already doing letterman. i think it worked out for you. >> i just -- what happened was my high school was terrible. my schooling was terrible. we were so not only terrible, a rural, poor high school, but near am hurst, massachusetts. so they sent the hippie experimenters to our school to give us open campus and all of this stuff. so we learned nothing. >> good point. >> when i went to school, the colleges they were halferring -- they were of onerring me i thought they would be more dope smoking hippies listening

to bad music. i didn't want to go to college -- i said to my guidance counselor, if you can find me a college that will have stuff i want to study, and you can promise no more dope around me i will glue. i will go. i was trying to find a college that was not smoking dope. >> this was the opposite of the ambassador who said you went to college so all you could do was smoke dope. >> that's exactly what i was going to say. the problem is real colleges are filled with my generation which way are all dope smoking hippies and they couldn't get jobs anywhere else and so they get jobs at universities. >> and their majors are weird. if all technology is changing why aren't the colleges catching up and changing things so they can get these guys an opportunity to work? >> that would involve becoming aware of what the rest of

society is like. most do their best to stay as far you a way as they can. is it really trains those who come out. jay if you major in gender studies, the only job you can get is teaching gender studies. you become an exgang counselor. >> or take an edge location -- an education course. >> the only trick you can do is to sell it. it only works in a magic shop. liberal arts education was not created to get people jobs. it existed so people would have a common base of knowledge to be able to discuss important issues. i think that is valid. it changed in the past 75 years into we are going to college to get a job. and telling people going to college to be able to talk about lofty ideas is going to get them work is the insane part. the insane part is pretending

it is supposed to get you a job. not that it doesn't get you a job. of course it doesn't get uh job. it is like saying we are going to the movies and when we come out of the movies we don't have a job. that's not why you didn't go to see it. >> bill, you went to a clown college called emerson, right? >> how dare you? somebody went to berkeley, really? >> no wonder there is all of this bitter hostility. >> yes, that's why i hate everybody. >> if it was not for hiring me you would be dead in a ditch. >> i will get fired and there is no question of if. i would tell every kid watching those under 18 turn it off. inappropriate show. learn a trade. i maintain you did go to college because you went to clown college. >> ringling brothers and barnum and bailey greatest clown college.

that's what they told me. >> very wordy. but you know how to do something. i can't do anything. >> that's true, he can't. i have seen him. >> i'm better at this than greg, but i can't do anything else and that's it. tucker you have kids, are they going to college? >> have i four kids and in fact i am going to look at colleges in new england. i already tolder, the point is getting into college. go for a year and you know exactly what you want to do, i will pay you half of the college tuition to sub subsidize that. figure out what you want to do with your life. don't waste four years. you don't know how long you will live. it is the wasting of time that is the sin. >> wasting time is the only true evil thing. >> and murder. i would say wasting time and then murder. >> what if you murder somebody quickly? >> well, then, you are killing two birds with one stone and you are literally killing the

birds. >> with the stone. >> or a shotgun. i don't care highway you murder, get it done. >> we may have change i had the point. >> from jobs to mobs, should they fry if they deny. forbes.com contributor suggested that they should play the price if they are wrong. let's keep track of them now. and then when the famines come, let them pay. let their houses burn. let's swap their safe land for submerged islands. they broke the climate. why should the rest of us have to pay for it? after a flurry of negative comments he meant to say people who spread false information should be held accountable. scientists are blaming global warming for this.

>> oh wow. he's huge. do you see his biceps? >> i am not thinking about it right now. >> oh wow. >> i was hoping for 134* passion and embrace that never happened. you felt the same way, ambassador. we both like our kangaroo stuff. >> it did happen in my head. i guess you were watching the video. i floated away to the kanga replace. kanga resex. kangaroo sex. >> isn't this whole thing dead because of the his stair ricks involved? i get that feeling. >> i think politically it is gone. i don't think people want to hear about it, and i think it is a consequence of getting out of the scientific method. i don't know if there is

global warming or not, but when you look at the experts and the tactics they use you have to wonder if the truth itself can't prevail, why are these guys slandering their opposition and making updates themselves. >> tucker, if they are wrong, what should we do to they will? >> why are we assuming that climate chairchg is all bad? >> murder. >> i am sincere. >> cold freezes kill more people in europe. >> that is right. the cities flood, but you also have longer growing seasons and longer summer vacations. >> and chicks in tank tops. >> it is the hall ter top equation. you have a confirmed skeptic on a lot of issues. >> you said the word right and then corrected yourself because you thought you were going to say wrong? >> exactly. >> you have more integrity.

in my head i almost said a word wrong. >> i felt guilty. >> what is this guy and his beliefs? >> if you are going to go on on somebody look in the mirror and say that, monkey face. that's what i would say. >> are you calling me a monkey face? >> yes, i was. >> this thing of not trusting other people. when we were first involved with broadway cares in the 1980s, aids was just brming known. there were a bunch of good guys who said this is moving into the heterosexual community. and i would sit there with them and say, let's say exactly who it is and then say we should help those people. let's try to tell the truth. >> you shouldn't have to create. >> when al gore said what he

said that he did exaggerate because it was too important. getting to the end justifies the mines thing. we don't see end though. we have only seen means. it seems like the science is very much on that side. but as soon as you exaggerate because you don't trust others to be as smart, everything crumbles. when the tally is taken for what damage is done people on both sides will have to feel guilty, although i wouldn't send them to a swamp with a fireman. >> for somebody like me i have to read stuff. the exception -- >> is that the syllable one? >> yes. it is easy because it is romantic and hip. i believe the earth is getting warmer and cyst little an will mas are going to die.

90% of the media do not follow-up. i have to when i am stuck with somebody who says i have to read all of that crap and then it is too complicated. it is not fair. that's what i'm saying. i don't want to do research. but they are forcing me. bill forced me to do research because he comes in here and says it is real. >> you want to do the research because you hate everyone involved. you don't like al gore and the people involved. >> the people with the tweek -- the tweed and the beard. >> when i went to medical school i read journals every month. it was part of my job. >> you could have quit and gone to a starbucks starbucks and just looked at the internet. >> i want to learn that trade and murder. >> it is a sexy trade. >> we have beaten this one to death.

str skeptics to academics. will fighting the man take hold in iran 1234* you can't go anywhere with global warming. it is a boyaring, boring, boring topic. >> i want to talk about this. this is interesting. the islamic public of iran is curious as a handful of occupy wall street talked about the movement. says one of the adults who made the trip, that is very down with america to down with the 1%. iranians are no the in a position to protest because they would die. so they:00 look at occupy wall street as something to study. iran's military says they cracked the encryption of a american stealth drone that was seen last december. perhaps we should focus on threats closer to home.

>> all right. if you are celebrating earth day after seeing that you are crazy. you can see the animals and the earth are dangerous and evil. ambassador,th is your area. is what the professors doing there treason? if they are buying anything there, they are supporting the government. you might think they would have some these 10 see. i am actually inspired by it. now wing we figured out how to bring down the iranian regime. it is only a matter of time. >> we should send all of our academics fair. >> they can't possibly except in anything after that.

>> maybe we can get these people instead of hating all of america just to hate the 1% scr i it is progress. >> it is so clarifying. >> want to know where to go on an issue. the people that -- >> they can call it for you. >> if there was an occupy tehran how long until they are mowed down. >> that's true. where were these professors? >> bill, you are considered a drone. are you worried they figured out your tech willing no. >> five years of shows and we know you are in a box. i am an optimist and irish and i think this is a good thing. basically what the people of iran are seeing that not only

to we allow voices of decent,y so they are looking at and they are allowed to live in america. they are allowed to go somewhere and speak against america. >> only din joked came to columbia and smoke to america. >> the fact that we allowed that? we should have arrested him. he is a terrorist in my book. >> this is why i am not buying your book. >> which one? >> no need. that was a hit. you can get it for a penny, but that's because all of the money goes to charity. coming up, stories so arousing, that if they were sand crabs, these sand crabs are arousing. >> does starbucks give in to

vegans? it kind of lies so it must be true.

last month we told you starbucks was using an extract to give the strawberry frappuccinos a bright pink color. it is an extract that is made from people. no, i i kid. the extract came from crushed bug bodies found mostly in south america and mexico. now they say they will replace it from a different one made from people. the change comes after a petition was filed by a south carolina woman who wanted to inform everyone that the strawberry fraps were not vee began -- vegan friendly. it raises the question, do

dogs like gymnastics ? >> can we see the frog again? >> i don't know if there was enjoyment going on there. i'm assuming that the dog was having fun and be done with that. my lesson from this is that the most dangerous people in the world are the people who have time to do petitions. i just don't have time. >> if you are concerned about health why are you drinking frappuccinos this if you are concerned about health, have a drink of water. it doesn't have bugs in it. although the new york one has

shrimp. >> and they are adorable. >> i have never voluntarily been in a starbucks. i went in once or twice when my daughter worked there. haven't you ever heard of instant coffee? why you do you need a starbucks ? >> you drink instant coffee? >> of course i do. >> you should be president. >> this may not be an option, but starbucks is good. >> is you sanca? >> i use the safe way house brand because it is cheap and it tastes like coffee. what else do you want? >> this bug stuff is a chemical. it comes from a lab and who cares ? >> if it is synthetic it is the same thing. >> what kind of vegan are you talking about? some are doing it strictly for health like the china book. some say it is morally wrong

to use the animal products in that way. you have to decide first because the people who think it is health oriented this is complete nonsense. but if you think they are injurying bugs, they are injuring the bugs. >> if you are ordering something red at starbucks you deserve all of the bugs they get. >> do you assume when you see red it is from bugs ? >> no, i believe in color ordering. i am at a stake house i am ordering meat. >> the color of your face is meat. >> you eat crushed up bugs on a daily basis. >> it is just another animal to eat. >> it is not even an animal. it is an insect. >> we are the only animal that deems it wrong to hurt or eat

another animal. >> a lot of us have crazy sex. >> i have seen some snooty lizards. >> that's the way they want. >> sometimes i fondle. >> do you pet? >> yes, i do. >> i don't know why this is a thing. i said it before and i will say it again. when you were a kid and drinking bug juice. why do you think it is bug juice? it is always made from crushed bugs. >> did you say that before? >> yes. this is the second time. we didn't just touch on starbucks. we went in there. >> this is the second time we have done there. >> do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us at red eye at fox news.com. or call 212-462-5050.

still to come, andy levy. >> tonight's report is sponsored by krah-maga.

welcome back. let's see if we have anything

wrong so far. hi, andy. >> how was your weekend, greg? >> not falling for it. >> okay. all right. i was legitimately asking how your weekend was. i am not rude like you. >> i had a nice time. >> now i don't care. i cared then. see what i mean? the college grads be jobless. the video of the person, i don't want to see it again. >> amazing what you can do with a hammer and nails. >> some commenters thought that's what it was. >> the fact that everybody needs to go to college is a lie. i agree, but it is usually a bunch of college grads saying everybody didn't go to college. >> i never should have gone to college. >> look, i should have gone -- i should have gone immediately to a newsroom and paid half of the money.

my irnts pa -- my parents could have supported me. i probably would be -- i don't know what i would be. >> tucker, you couldn't be anymore successful than you are. >> i probably could be. i could have more servants than i do. >> that's a good point. you brought up the fact that it would have meant a lot to your parents if you had gone to college. and going to tucker's point, isn't that a lot of the reason why people go to college because their parents want it for them? >> it was close to having me go because of that. my dad didn't finish high school. my mom didn't finish high school. >> and you just let them down. >> and they finally came around, and they were happy for my success. it took a limo to get all smally with them before they turned around. >> were they finally impressed? >> very much so, yes. >> ambassador, you said the real problem is that colleges are filled with dope smoking

professors from your generation. but i have to say, we give college professors a hard time on this show, and sometimes justifiably, but i had really good professors in college. >> occasionally there are good professors. it is really the spectrum as a whole though. they don't get the education and the job training and they spend four yores there. that is at a cost that you can't even calculate. >> the main problem is sociology. >> i was going say the english literature professor. but everybody has their favorite. >> my professor was pretty good. >> a lot of turnover in that position. >> awful. >> greg, you said part of the problem was that they live in a bubble. again, true, but here is the thing. everybody is assuming the point of going to college is to get a job. i am not sure that is the

point or is the whole point. and that goes back to what tucker was saying. i don't think it is a waste of time -- if you accept that the idea to go to college is to gain knowledge, it is not a waste of time. >> you are not gaining knowledge. >> if you take the right classes and find the right professors, you can learn a lot. >> you are young and dumb and full of whatever. you get to college and then you get professors with an ideology and you learn to get good grades means to follow that ideology. >> okay. i think we over blow that a little bit. >> really? >> sometimes. >> please don't fight. >> this is over between us. the main thing is the staggering amount of debt you leave college with. that's the main problem. >> college was free. the ringling brothers training program, they picked up the whole tab. >> you keep mentioning their name. >> what do you owe them after that? service? >> no, they tell you that they

will decide which of the people they want to bring into the circus, and then they will offer you a contract and you can accept it. you are supposed to make a decision yourself. i went and decided that the circus wasn't for me. there was a little more pressure. >> did they send the bears over to your house? >> terrible joke. >> they should be held accountable. tucker, you said you don't know why climate change is all bad. and i suppose it does depend on what the consequences are. if it is mild, maybe you are right. but on the other hand, did you see the day after tomorrow, the documentary? it was a chilling documentary. >> you are running away from the ice. >> i think dennis quaid

narrated it. >> i thought that was the nuclear holocaust. >> i watched it in rewind, and it is like the beginning of the world. it is awesome. >> by the way, i don't think in that story -- i don't think any of you actually addressed the premise of the column. should people who knowingly provide false information beheld accountable for their lives? >> yes. the fact is what he is saying is people who disagree with him are supplying false information. that's what he is saying. >> not really, but -- >> same thing. >> you disagree with me and you are lying. >> his second column, he even says if it turns out that global warming is a farce, then -- and the people that knew that it was and knowingly miss spread false information they should be held accountable. >> the professors go to talk about the occupy. ambassador, you said iran is run by a terrorist regime.

they were thinking twice about going there. and after they visited and he said the occupy movement is against zionism she found the claim quite disturbing and she could not believe they would use it as a pawn like that. >> what a surprise. and these are the people that come back and will tell us that this regime is somebody you can deal with. they have solved all of their problems. when he was here a couple years ago they have no homosexuality problems. they have taken care of that. that's the kind of society that can get things done. >> in my world homosexuality is never a problem. it is a solution. >> don't go to iran. >> no, go to iran. >> by the way, regarding our captured drone, on monday the defense secretary mineta said he is lying about reverse engineering it and said, quote, based on my experience i would question their ability

to do what they say they have done. if you cracked an encryption, you are not going to tell them. >> in this case what they are trying to do is downplay a serious problem for the united states. even if the iranians can't crack it, the russians or chinese would be happy to. >> if you crack somebody's encryption the stupidest thing you kan do is let them know. >> the real danger is were they able to tap into the computer system that drone was communicating with? i don't know the answer to that, but that would be worse. >> i think we should send dummy drones with bad technology. jay maybe that's what we did. >> and put a maple leave flag in the side. >> we can send it with occupy wall street protesters in it. >> lastly on the starbucks thing, you said some have

shrink p -- shrimp. >> it is okay to call them shrimp smed. i thought you were joking, but you were right. >> you didn't thong i was joking. you thought i was wrong. >> i thought you were making a joke. >> little jokes here. >> it also means that it is not kosher. >> you know i will lose some sleep over that. >> i will never drink another glass of new york city happen water. >> coming up, he tenders his resignation over the european budgie rules. budget rules. that's one story we won't be doing. and should athletes face criminal charges for violence during games. our panel of jocks will discuss.

should there be a bust for leaving a man con cussed? meta world peace, aka ron artest, look at that, is likely to face criminal charges for delivering a vicious elbow to an opponent's head. 2* left james hardin with a concussion. here we go again. i am so outraged, but let's keep showing it. and world peace faces a suspension by the league. criminal charges in pro sports are rare because local authorities would rather the leagues police themselves. is you need to find a prosecutor that is willing to bring the case and i don't know if there is much public appetite for charges to be brought. there is an appetite for this -- >> lightning roooouuuunnnndd. lightning round. >> tucker, are our sports like a separate culture?

once you play within these rules? >> no, no, no. i can punch him in the face. >> of course. >> hockey would cease to assist. >> you could pay millions a year. the downside is you would have alzheimer's. >> you know, are you talking about this stuff that is slightly outside the sport. even the stuff that is absolutely allowed in football , running at each other and grabbing each other, that's assault and battery. you are already outside. >> but they actually volunteer to do that. it is okay. you don't volunteer to get punched in the face or elbowed. should this be treated like a crime, ambassador, where you go to jail? >> i don't think it is a crime. i think he should be fired from the league. world peace strikes back. his first name, metta, you

know, he spelled that wrong. when you are talking about an organization being able to police themselves, how do you get to do that? how does the catholic church say we will take care of the pedophiles? it seems like the law is supposed to be -- we don't get to say in the penn and teller organization you are allowed to do this. >> what if the players were sexually abusing themselves -- well, penn state. that was almost like -- well, they were policing themselves. >> the whole idea of police doesn't exist if you have police yourself. then everybody can say we police ourselves. >> this is a voluntary organization of people who are clearly doing something who are fully outside the mainstream by choice. if they want to do weird stuff to one another -- >> we are talking about a

utopian situation. the situation we have -- i don't even know the answer to this. am i allowed to beat him senseless. i would like to find out if that was true. >> are you allowed to do that? >> we have cases where they have said, you can cannibal lies me? >> that was in germany. >> germany doesn't count. >> they police themselves. >> bill, you do this on craigs list all the time. and have you ever charged anybody for the crimes that have been commit owed your body? >> no. >> are you allowed to do that? >> i don't know, but we have to take a break. that's an interesting question for another show. >> that i am not on. >> we are going to talk to penn.

itit is about "the apprentice" and then we are going for a milk shake.

air sin yow hall, lieu

farigno and the gay asian on "star trek" that is the next on my list. they are the latest cast on "celebrity uh -- apprentice." all right. >> fired. >> were you shocked, sad? did you care? >> clutched to my chest. >> let me ask you this -- >> i do the best i could. i did try. >> i have ouch whatted just about every episode. what is the time frame for this? >> five weeks. every week they do in about two days. we do about 16 hour day, so they do three weeks in one week. >> psychologically, i would say you were the smartest guy in the group by about 50iq points. >> i was looking for a definition. >> that's why i added the 50

points. you were at a really bad blackjack table. or you were playing handball against the curb. i don't know what to say. all i know is you were watching insanity unfold. there are two things about this. it is a great book. he talks about this thing that says if you just put a camera on someone for five hours and don't give them a break, they end up having symptoms as though they were drunk. they really do -- their sensor goes away. you only have so much muscle there. and when i get tired and when i don't have that sensor, i get quiet and want to read. but other people really did get way over the top ballistic. >> and you are not allowed to read. >> that's not actually the rule. >> if you are caught reading. >> if you can read you can

generate it yourself. and if you do read for a moment they will take a shot at uh. and they will say while we are doing work. work is defined as doing a mop commercial. then you weren't really helping. >> lou came off as one of the most loathe so many characters. is the show real lits -- realistic? >> i didn't watch it. but from what people said, it was fairly accurate. loi -- >> he seems like a bully. >> he does that and call itself affection. and i don't like it. you know i don't like being hit. i have to tell you something cool. i lost. i didn't win. there are a few more weeks. seer's my real -- ceasers, my real boss. he says, are you fired. i said, well, i work foreseer is -- for ceaser's which owned

a wickedment a of money. we like him and you like them. well, and you did great on "celebrity apprentice." we are glad we gave you the time of on. and they say how much does donald trump give the winner? a quarter of a million dollars. they say, we will write that check. they gave all of the money donald trump would have given they gave to my charity. with the under lying principal we don't need to do anything else for the show. you say these people need help, we would like to help they will, okay. why would you go on the show? >> how much time do i have? i have to ask you i was absolutely infatuated by that girl diana. >> i wonder why. you are acting like it is something special. is it me or is it just a beautiful woman. >> she is the only ms. universe to be universally

the most beautiful woman. >> she is a pretty woman. and if you step up close to hershey is better looking than him. >> i like the drunk one. i am -- >> i am getting back at you. >> she is stunning. i watched that show -- >> it is like that cartoon wolf whistle. that thing in a zoot suit, that's what you want to do rising above the table. >> have i to tell you, she is amazing. i have to stop now because my wife is watching. >> no she isn't. she is researching the shrimp. rewill close things out with a shot

back to tv's andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> do you have any blockbusters coming up? >> do we ever. i am not telling you what it is, but tune in today or when the sun comes up. we have a real blockbuster. >> excellent.

>> oh yea. ambassador, why do you keep coming p on "red eye." >> i hope to revive my presidential campaign. a few more shows like this and i have it made. >> santorum made it frit far, but you could have gone further. >> penn, did you and teller burn an american flag or was that an illusion? >> it actually was an illusion. we burned flash paper. >> bill, -- thank you, andy, penn, tucker, am bees deer. that -- ambassador, that does it for me. news. >> bill: "the o'reilly factor" is on. tonight, actress ashley judd attacking rick santorum over abortion. >> you're grown man running for president and i'm just a woman wh