yard. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> break it to me gently, america. our top story, how cool is president obama? seriously how freaking cool is he? how lucky are we to have such a cool president? pretty freaking lucky. it may not have been the first time something like this has happened. the shocking story that i tabes everybody expected. and finally what happens when we send bill schulz out to interview some tall women? hopeful leahy is squashed -- hopefully he is squashed like a bug. >> is that necessary? >> yes. >> just checking. i hate him too. can't stand the guy. >> totally necessary. >> let's welcome our guest. cuter than arranged marriage between a panda, koala and a dolphin. i am here with diane macedo. it is on the fox business network. he knows legal issues like i

know happy tissues. he is a first time guest above the law editor. and he is lyle lovit without the talent. it is my sidekick, bill schulz. and he loves to make people laugh right before he chops their arms off because he is a homicidal maniac. and his fact checking is sloppy in all of his copy. good to see you, pinch. >> we visit france where this year's crops of peas, sweet, tender and verse till, mark a new season. it is french for give peas a chance. i guess role play doesn't work well when it is in another language. sad face. >> i don't think anything you do -- >> there is a cup in front of me. >> he who has hands, move it. >> all right.

does being cool help you rule? well, president obama is hip as hell. >> if keeping the interest rate is low is not a way to help our students, they say we should do everything to pay down debt. so long as it doesn't include tax and billionaires. students have to make this rate increase work. frankly i don't buy it. >> that was the president slow jamming the news on fallen, the most recent example of our commander-in-chief's coolness. remember when he sang that al green song? remember when he grained the three pointer? not sure what that means. remember when he reduced unemployment and cut the deficit? oh right he didn't do that last one, but it is okay because he is cool.

in a new interview asked obama tough questions like, what other tv shows or movies or music have you been enjoying? hard-hitting! and you got up there at the apolo theater and nailed al green. what was going through your head when they asked you to do it? did you know you were going to nail it? oh man. i smell pulitzer. that's our cameraman, bobbie pulitzer. been meaning to talk to him about it. now to our super hungry bird. >> why would you have that as a pet? seems to me this is nothing more than an annoyance. greedy green animal. tom, you are a comedian, or so you claim even though i have never seen you perform expirks

question whether you actually do. jimmy kimmle said that it is very hard. he is hosting the white house correspondence dinner. it is hard to make fun of obama in general because he is a cool character. doesn't that sum up the state of political comedy? they can't get to him because they think he is cool. >> most don't want to. they say he is hard to make fun of. but that's because they love him so much. he is cool. people on the right should admit he is cool and don't try to out cool him. >> you can't. the only thing is to have a cool candidate, but i am not running and neither is kirk cameron. right now what do we have left? welcome to the program. i think part of it for me is jealousy that the right has never had anybody like that since allen keys. obama is the ipad everybody wants to have and romney is

the window software you have to download and update like every two weeks. that's the candidate. i know the game that romney is trying to play. he is trying to say i am not cool. i am responsible. i tried the same thing in high school. i said, look, i am not very good at athletics or have any money, but i am really good at multiplication and scored high on the s.a.t. verbal. >> bob -- i called you bob! >> i prefer beckle or mr. mr. beckle. >> but for fair, bill, you are turned on by anything. >> yes, a gust of wind. >> gust of wind is a nickname for a male hustler we met in chelsea. diane, good to see you. can coolness backfire in terms of being seen as all style and no substance? that happened to me a lot. >> because you are so stylish. i get it now. i think only the no substance part is what can backfire on you. being cool doesn't mean you

lack substance. when it comes to presidential candidates trying to emphasize they are cool in general usually doesn't do them any harm. the classic question everybody asks is who would you rather have a beer with? if you look back it was clinton. it was bush, and then it was obama in the last race. so saying he is cool is not really a great thing for romney to be pointing out. just let it go and try to really nail the no substance part of it. >> speaking of substance, bill, are you an expert on substances. do you think the cool factor under cuts the idea of substance? can you have both? >> yes. i think you can. next question. no, he is even keeped. and he is skinny so he wears his clothes well even if they are not that stylish. they are old clothes. >> he wears mom jeans. >> he is not that cool.

>> the airplane stairs he comes down so cool. >> and being born in kenya, that adds a new mystique. >> if romney could be this cool, trust me he would. we talk about obama hitting three pointers. what is romney's hobby? i don't know if it is golf or polo. he has to have something he does for fun. >> his hobby is being a good father, and what is wrong with that? why can't being a good father be cool? is that what is wrong with america? >> it shouldn't be a hobby. it should be a full time job. >> i was describing this on a napkin to my friend. being cool is like a bell curve. when things are going well, it is cool to be cool. when it is going badly being cool is not so important anymore. cool is aloof. it is standoffish. you want somebody hot when the country isn't going well.

so this kind of standoff is cool presence. >> this is why the perfect, perfect election which we won't have would be cool versus hot which is obama allen west. you couldn't get more of a hothead and cool factor and it would be great. i ant to show this ad. i want to show this ad. it is a tale of two leaders. this thing happens that he was on fallen last night. within hours they put out this ad comparing romney's speech to jimmy fallon. i wonder what you think about this. not really. >> oh yeah. i see children even more successful than their parents. some successful even beyond their wildest dreams. and others con congratulating them for their achievement and knot attack -- and not attacking them for it. >> frankly, i don't buy it. >> there you go.

a juxtaposition, if you will. it is something good versus something evil. >> it is amazing how fast these things come out. it is a 24-hour news cycle and they are ready to go when we wake up and start reporting on all of this. i don't think it benefits them at all to start pointing out that he is cool and romney isn't. just move on to the real issues. >> at the end of the day, and yes i am using that phrase here, who do you want? richie cunningham or fonzie? fonzie just worked on motorcycles and made out with divorcees which we know was evil, but richie cunningham was an okay guy and directed "cocoon." i am not sure where i am right now. >> fonzie also shot osama. >> i did not see that series. >> that was right after he jumped the sharks. people started tuning out. >> there was pinky tuskadero that prepared the gun. >> there is a conspiracy because it doesn't leave pinky's picture. >> what about when potsy posed

with the body. >> they should have all sat on it after that. >> i won't say at the end of the day. but at the beginning of the night i was watching it, and i was like, this is awesome. obama is doing a great job. then they will have an ad campaign the next day saying this is not that awesome. they went so far as to develop a hash tag that said "not funny." few shea. touche. >> romney should slow jam his tax returns. >> that's funny. all right, we beat this into the ground. should we allow kids to plow? the obama administration is not fine with them driving a combine . not sure what that is, proposing children be banned from doing farm chores. the department of labor plans to apply the child labor laws on farms preventing them from working in the country grain elevators. the silos and the feed lots and exchanges and the livestock options. but kids who grow up on farms

are up in arms, the ones they have left with one college student telling the dc that this is where he learned a lot of responsibility, on a farm. a farm bureau -- blah, blah, blah, says the labor laws is not the only problem. the big problem is it is a blow to what we can be teaching our kids, ie, the values of working on a farm. i am already getting board. i know all about the farm life. in fact, i visited one last weekend. >> i hope that tape hoped you forget the tele prompter. kids don't know how to do anything except stand there and look cute.

aren't we coddling them too much? >> first indulge me because i am from new york. what is farms? >> i -- look, at the point where they want to put their kids in dangerous situations and not get angry when little johnny has his arm chopped off in a tractor accident, the administration is fine letting them do what they want with their kids. we have to hold everybody to a similar spidy standard. >> way to work in the spider-man reference. should they protect kids from working on their family's farms? >> stop doing anything for children. they have been so coddled. i lied to get my first job at a nursing home. you probably lied to get your first job. >> and how many did you suffocate? you were called the baby faced pillowcase. >> they would die naturally at a nursing home. >> naturally when you are around. >> why use air quotes?

>> i sh woulded in the kitchen -- i worked in the kitchen. >> even better, you poisoned their food. >> we put their food out in the morning -- >> you lied to get this job? >> at some poin tt patient would have a fork next to their name with a line through and they couldn't eat solid food. you knew they were on their way out. with the line through the fork you would know they only had a little time left. we saw the line through the fork -- >> what a more bid story. >> by the way, he is a comedian. >> listen, i used to play in grain elevators. it was fun. i did it for free. if you were to pay me to work in grain i would have done it. did you see the footage of those kids? they like working on farms. stop protecting children. this is not oliver twist. >> and there was that great movie with the amish people in it where danny glover dies in a grain elevator. >> their grain elevators are dangerous. >> kelly mcgill lis has a

good topless scene. >> that's how it happens. >> one topless scene. >> is that before or after danny glover got the movie. >> i am too old for those boots. >> that is awful. should kids be allowed to just be kids? they have their whole adult life to work. should we not let them work at all? >> that's for their parent to decide. i understand what you are saying, but i don't see parades of farmers out there asking for the government to protect their kids. when johnny gets hurt on the tractor or the grain elevator or any of these things. i am not a farmer so i don't know what they are, but these people aren't running around every chance they get when their kids get hurt working on a farm. my parents grew up on a farm. one of the things taught there is you have to work your butt off in this world. not enough kids are taught that. >> when it is dark out that is

like really weird for people like me. you have to get up at like 4:00 a.m. and there is stuff out there that smells. bill, you were raised by a family of goats. how was growing up on a farm? >> i am preventing myself from saying bad in an elongated fashion like a goat. i am not going to do that. i am a farmer. the stuff i farm kids should be no where near unless, a, they are over 18, or b have glaucoma. otherwise they stay away from my crop. >> i don't have a farm, but i have an i-pod factory in my house. >> they are giving grief for this thing. the chinese love putting ipads together. they love it. they love nothing more than putting ipads and i-pods together. >> i have no idea. i like the fact that you communicate with other countries and find out what they like to do. >> or saw the agony in steve jobs. it is one in the same. >> are you talking about family farms here. if this is going to fly, what, your dad can't tell you to

wash the car or mow the lawn? >> that is a slippery slope. it is a phrase i like to say. a grain elevator and elevator made of grain? that is dangerous. >> it just means it elevates the grain. >> it does president go up and down like -- it doesn't go up and down. >> just kidding. i know what it is. >> you are a rube. >> what he said times five. coming up, how should you handle hecklers? tom says i kill them and cook their flesh and eat them for dinner. yes, i am a cannibal. it is a wordy title, but i like it. but first, what is kim's new contract worth? probably a lot or else we wouldn't be wasting our breath on it.

was it the first time the agents were out of line? reports that the secret service are privately claiming they hospital have been canned because they toll it rayed similar measures on the previous trips. several are forced to consider fighting to keep their jobs. that could mean dishing on how colleagues spend their downtime on past trips. going to strip clubs and meeting prostitutes. said one agent not involved in the mess, of course it has happened before. thanks, one agent not involved in the mess. for more on this development let's go live to "red eye"'s correspondent, cat who loves his feather duster.

>> that was kind of disturbing. >> that's why we need the secret service. >> we want to keep them away from -- never mind. see how i avoided an obvious joke? i think i learned something over the last couple years we have been doing this show. do these guys have a solid case? will they get reinstated? that has to be the fear. >> the grandfather clock, no. the president gets to fire his own bodyguards when they do smuf like that. stuff like that. >> aren't they going to talk? >> it depends on their code of ethics. they have honor in that organization. i think that while they might threaten some things, there is little upside to them talking and talking at a school. they are never getting their jobs back. they probably want to go on and be kevin kostner in "the bodyguard" that's where they are going. >> they will make more money doing that anyway. >> look where that ended up.

whitney houston, he let her down in the end, i would say. tom, you frequent prostitutes. should we be surprised this wasn't the first time? and when iment frequent you -- when i meant frequent you go there to council them. >> you remind me of anthony perkins in "crimes of passion." >> he murders prostitutes. >> the clint eastwood movie where he plays the secret service agent, and that scene with renee russo where they walk into the hotel room and they drop their clothes and their guns at the same time, that's why all of these guys, they are all either my age or younger. they came of age. that was their movie. to them the secret service is a sexy profession. >> it is going to be all fun and games these guys. >> it is a great title for a job. you can say you work with the see crest -- with the secret service. >> you can tell people.

like i tell people when i have my earpiece in that i work with the secret service. that gets me a lot of free food. do we want to know more details? >> no. you just said being in the secret service is a sexy thing to tell a woman. that is a pan tee dropper right there. why do they need hookers? don't get it, idiots. >> speaking of pan tee dropping, bill you turned tricks to put yourself through hooker college. could this have been prevent ?ed. >> magic tricks. i had a little david blaine in my day. >> were you trying to court me? >> i was trying to court you, my lady. let's get back to the 21st century. >> i love the word courting. i want to bring it back. >> when you say drop your parasole, i will pick it up for you. i do think you should get the vote. this doesn't surprise me at all. if you are doing a high risk profession, that probably means you will display high risk behavior in your private life as well.

the part that does president surprise me is -- that doesn't surprise me is when they get to call their buddies out. there is a code of ethics and yes, they got caught. why would they rat out their co-workers? what did they do? >> what are they going to gain from that? to say he did it too. it doesn't get someone rehired. it gets the other guy fired. >> it is the adolescent thing you do in class. bill did the same thing. he goes, yes, but he brought kleenex. >> you don't pay the hooker for sex. you pay her to leave. i think this goes with their secrecy thing. they are trying to keep it on the down low. >> they did a really good job at that. >> people make mistakes. >> i thought that you paid them for sex. not to leave. >> sometimes you just pay to talk to you, okay, tom?

>> i actually pay them to listen. and i don't even really talk. i just make weird noises. >> i just pay her to clean up, and come to think of it, she might be a maid. >> you never had sex with her? >> no. she wears a daoudy uniform, actually. couldn't be further from a turn on. >> you are talking about hill do? >> yes. she is 60 pushing it, 70 tops. >> she is not a hooker. >> not a looker. >> even the israelis because i saw that movie and they hired a prostitute. remember those guys in the steven spielberg film? >> that was a good movie. >> they hired the prostitute and then they had to kill her. >> but she killed other people. that was not going on in car tau cartagena. >> you guys watch way too many movies. >> that's why i never go near a wind instrument. >> me too, ever since that show. >> it was something i learned. one, it is something you can easily avoid. why not reduce that risk and

stay away from all wind instruments. >> and if you are around a wind instrument, wrap is it -- wrap it up. >> do you have a comment on the show? call 212-462-5050. still to come, the half time report from tv's andy levy. he is a wind instrument. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by sausages, the tube of animal intest tin or tubed casing with pork or other finely chopped meat. thanks, sausages.

welcome back. let's find out if we have anything wrong so far. for that we go to andy levy. >> how are you dismog. >> i'm fine. >> tom, greg brought up the fact that he didn't bring it up because he wasn't cool. can i suggest that if you don't make fun of the president you shouldn't take the white house correspondence. >> exactly. >> i guess the way that dinner works if the president is a republican you should make fun of the president. if the president is a democrat make fun of republicans. >> that's the way it works. >> i think originally wasn't that supposed to be wayne brady? >> too edgy.

>> was it supposed to be luis ck? >> now it is jimmy kimmle. >> because he states them. because he dates them. >> dates is a strong word. be careful when you use that word. >> he frequents them. >> he dates them to leave. >> and it comes back around. >> i just realized why tom doesn't understand the idea of paying him to leave. they never leave in tom's place. they just disappear. >> you mean they leave? they don't call the police after you have sex with them? >> i hope my wife is not watching. >> i hope no women anywhere are watching. >> i hope the cops aren't watching.

>> you said if romney could be this cool he would, and i have to ask because everyone seems to agree that the president is cool. what is so cool about it? >> well, the easy answer is i don't have to answer. he just it. you have to define cool, then you have lost it. again, i am using most of my knowledge from high school. we have to study -- if you have to study cool you don't have it. >> i agree, but i don't see anything he has done that is cool. you see him on slow jam fallen is cool and obama's line readings are not cool. >> he was even kiel and inspiring. >> that's not what we are talking about when we say cool. >> what is cool for you? >> i am talking about, again, you can't define it. there is coolness, but i don't think he has it. >> does george will have it perhaps? >> god no. >> some people think these old school -- >> not me. >> ante's definition of cool

is hanging out with a couple of cats. >> it's a start, greg. >> it is a start. >> it is one of those things like high school. if you convince enough people to say you are cool and the rumor spreads and people start to believe it. at that point anything you do is perceived as cool. i agree with you. i like the skit itself. the guy in the background was really funny. obama was just reading the speech the same way he would have if he were on capitol hill or the actual news. >> he has no flow. that's what i am trying to say. >> we should have romney do this. >> romney is not cool either. but nobody is saying romney is cool. there is a myth that president obama is cool. to be perfectly honest, i think it is code for something. >> also, president cool doesn't raid marijuana dispense res. president cool is not against gay marriage. >> do you think bill clinton was cool?

>> bill clinton had a coolness, yes. >> so if obama was like having sex with women who weren't his wife, would is that be more cool maybe? i am just trying to get your level. >> i like how he slow jams closing gitmo. >> diane, you are pointing out if the r and c got that ad out quickly. the republicans have been much better at rapid response this year than they were in 2008. things like this, things like the hillary rosen thing. jay he obviously knew -- >> he obviously knew he was prepared for this. >> absolutely. >> i am impressed. >> greg, please put money in the end of the day major. >> yes. >> at least i admit that i was doing it. >> absolutely. >> kids and parents are angry. first of all, let's be honest,

no rural kids are angry about this. >> how do they earn their money so they can buy pop. >> former rural kids who are older are now looking back and saying, yes, that was good. the royal kids who were getting up at 5:00 in the morning to do whatever are happy about this. >> i would be happy too, but i have to. >> this is what i am saying. >> think about it. if you lose a finger it makes you value the other nine. so isn't that good? >> no. >> i am up in arms about it. >> tom, you said you used to play in a grain elevator, and that you would have -- which is fine. but you would have worked in grain if you could or somebody would have paid you to? >> yes, i did it unpaid, and i would have gladly worked in a grain elevator or any of the seven grains.

>> what are the seven grains? >> they are in my toast. i don't know. i see them on a daily basis. >> you stair at them, but you don't know what they are? >> no, but i want all seven. >> you don't respect the grain. >> he goes against the grain. >> it is true. why do you need seven grains? it is stupid. >> it is -- there is snap and crackle and pop. >> i think you are confusing grains with sims. >> diane, you pointed out that these parents are not looking to sue if these kids get hurt in an accident. according to the daily caller, farl accidents -- farm accidents fell 40% between 2001 and 2009 among youth. it is not like there is a rash of kids getting hurt here. >> that's right. there was no back reason for this. there was not a rash of lawsuits or there was this -- like you said, there was no increase in the number of injuries. it is quite the contrary. i don't even know where this

came from. who randomly thought, you know what, our next top inning p -- topic, the economy is in the tank and testing nukes, but we are going against farm testing. >> it is a war on farm boys. >> it is a waste of government time. pass the budget. >> it is a war on cutoff overalls. >> you know what it is? it is a war on farmers' daughters which is part of a war on women. >> and a war on traveling sales men. they end up having fun with the farmer's daughter. >> and then having to run naked off the farm a shotgun-toting dad -- >> sawed off. >> you all really hate children here. secret service says it is not the first time. you were asked if they would talk about others who did similar things and you said you don't think so and they have a code of ethics. that is the code of ethics that says it is okay to bring

hookers back to your hotel room when you are doing advanced work. >> as long as you don'ts tell anybody. it is a roman code, i believe. >> by the way, senator chuck grassly took time out to say the columbia prostitutes may have been russian spies. >> did you hear what he was implying? i mentioned it on "the five." he was merely suggesting that we should have an all gay secret service. i have been talking about it for a longtime. >> it is a different kind of secret service that you have in mind. >> it is a fabulous secret service. they don't guard anything. >> they would have more flexibility to do that after the election. there was a wink. >> they would buy their time in brunch waiting. >> the secret part of that, they are your secrets, greg is what we are talking about here. i am done. >> are you really? >> yes.

>> thought it would never end. >> it is good for all of us. it is good for america and america's bad boy, greg gutfeld. coming up a story so explosive if it was a box turtle you would say that is one explosive box turtle and you would crush it with your bear hands. first, we are not doing this story. we are doing two other stories. >> are they good stories? >> yes, they are good stories. stick around.

it lets gals globe trot provided they are hot. a new dating website called miss travel matches rich dudes with lovely ladies who want to take fancy vacations. check it out, check it outers. >> are you attractive, but you don't have the money to travel? what if you could travel around the world, stay in 5 star resorts and dine at restaurants. on miss travel.com there are

thousands of frequent travelers who hate to travel alone. these generous travelers are doctors, lawyers, bankers, athletes, executives, entrepreneurs and millionaires who are looking to travel with an attractive person like you. >> disclaimer, you must be a cartoon to join. although, bill, you can qualify. let's discuss in this -- >> lightning rroooouuuuunnnnndd. lightning round. >> diane, what do you make of this? do you think this is an actual real site, or is this some kind of camouflage for something more gnaw fare yous like a dental school? >> i can see this happening. i know a few girls who are cocktail waitresses and rich dudes pay them or don't pay them, but invite them to come on trips to vegas or wherever else. and they really don't fool around with them. >> they don't? >> there are guys out there

that want to be surrounded by hot women. they want to put that image out there, so they pay women to travel with them. it makes it easier for them. they are all consenting adults. if they agree and say some hankie pangy happens, then whatever. >> my suggestion to you is your friends are lying. they are doing horrible things. >> it happens more often than you think. >> vow going to europe next week? -- vow going europe next week? >> no. it does happen more often than you think. >> all right. what happens if you are 3,000 males away from home and then decide you don't want to hookup with this guy? i am not speaking from experience at all, but it could get messy. >> absolutely. that's one of the questions i would have about your friends. what do they do if they are in a situation that they want to get out of, but they are in paris? >> these are people they know. so they are going with the club owner or something like that. >> the club owner. >> in this case their boss. it is people they know, and they know this person too. it is not a stranger they just

met. >> well that would be a big difference about the internet. >> if you are a more ron that you get on a boat with a random dude you never met before. >> there are a lot of morons out there who are poor and thisy want to -- and they want to travel. jay get a job. >> i don't want to travel. i have a wife. honestly what will happen is as the internet keeps going and going and going, we will push the bounds on our definition of prostitution versus i have a friend. inevitably it leads to the legalization of prostitution. it is not next year and not two years from now, but when the baby boomers lose control over the country, the inevitable decision is prostitution. >> wait for that day and then drug legalization will follow. >> tom, as a serial killer, would this site make it impossible for you because they would have your credit card? >> i used to get women -- back in the days with those credit

cards -- back in the good old days i used to take credit card slips out of the trash. the women who were my customers i would get their name, and then i would look them up in the white pages, and i would call them, and they would -- -- >> i'm done, greg. as an officer of the court i might have to -- >> i was your waiter this past friday. do you remember? oh yes. i did go on a few dates with these women. >> what was your batting average? >> did you create this website? >> i can't believe this website is a pitch to women. are you attractive, but don't like to pay for travel? like they need that website. if you are an attractive woman and you want to travel, just go to any bar in america. believe me, that was my pick up line. i would be like, i have two coach tickets to cleavland. get on the airplane, woman. >> because they are lining up to go to cleavland. >> i was working there.

there was rarely good clubs. >> bill, you signed up as an attractive female. any responses yet? >> all i know is i look at this and i am like, women. this does not work for hot looking dudes. if i were to answer a thing like that on-line it would be some closeted head of an anti-gay group in florida and i would have to do a lot more than hang out with them, i will tell you that much. it doesn't work with both genders. it only works with women. we have to take a break. we have more crud when we return. crud means a story. we have one more story.

e, the tv network and not the fifth letter of the alphabet announced that they signed the kardashian family to a contract worth $40 million, and it doesn't cover product endorsements which means the lovable clan will make a butt load more money. they already signed on to endorse a mass murderer. >> what? >> i know, hard to believe. they needed a sponsor because it is so unpopular these days. you have to admire this clan for making millions out of what is seemingly nothing. they haven't done -- they don't do anything constructive. >> you know what, i agree with

you. there are a lot of kardashian haters, but i am not one of them. they say, i don't sing and i don't dance. i have no talent. people just like to watch us. >> our talent is our butt. >> people like to watch them. that doesn't bother me. >> can't do without the personality or the butt. >> i think also the boobs. >> whatever it is, watch the show. >> i just hope i am dead when the people who watch the show take over the country. you have to remember when we are talking about the independent voter, the swing voter, the one that hasn't made up their mind, this is what they are doing. they are not watching "60 minutes." we are fighting over who will get the kardashian vote. that's what the election is about and that makes me extremely sad. >> in my world the kardashians is my "60 minutes." it is better because there is no annoying clock ticking. they are so delightful. in the green room you told me this is the greatest news

ever. >> every time i am on this show there is a kardashian story. i said this before and i am called a liar on twitter, i don't know who these women are. i have never heard them talk. >> how often has he said that to authorities? we are going to show you some pictures. i don't know who these women are. she was last seen in front of your apartment. >> have you heard them talk ever? i have never heard the voice of the kardashians. i see them and the flashbulbs, and i have never heard them talk. nor do i no why people are fascinated by them. they are pretty and i do like a rotund woman. >> bill, your reality show "somebody please kill me and put me outs of my misery" was bought. >> they are watching me watching the kardashians. that's the entire show. now that i heard this, i just hope kanye will hold on. there is a whole thing they are doing and the only way

they can get better is kanye on a late night twist. >> it is the black hole of all knowledge. >> they are the new kennedys. >> i loved her when she was on mtv, kennedy. >> one word, but all moxy. we will close things out with a post game wrap up. to see recent shows go to fox news.com/red eye.

see you back here at 5:00 p.m. eastern time for "the five." we have sherrod small and ann coulter and from "night ranger" motorin. i only knew that one word from the song, andy. >> that was enough. >> what's your price of --

>> what's your price for -- >> fame? >> something. >> finding mr. right. >> you will be all right tonight. >> ♪ let's go fly a kite sorry, andy. >> it is all right. i was enjoying myself. diane, where can people see you some. >> imus in the morning at 5:00 a.m., "fox and friends" first if i can say the name of the show. and during the 5:00 a.m. hour and on fox news radio pretty much all day. >> motoring! >> i hear you have wacky theories, where can they check it out? >> it is at above the law.com. that's where i am monday through friday 9:00 to 5:00 and doing crazy stuff. >> excellent. tom, how is the -- how is it going? >> we are moving from xm radio to pod casting. itit is going to be lots of

fun. people can find me on twitter. i am going to be on fallen on friday. >> i am not doing stand up on there. i have been doing these political sketches. >> tom, by the way, that's a huge step up from serious -- sigh r ri us -- sirriusxm radio. >> i was contacted and they are looking for content and i am happy to supply it. >> that's great that a radio gig was able to get you your own pod cast. >> things lead to other things. >> that's what i tell people. >> motoring! pleasure >> bill: the o'reilly factor is on. tonight. >> this president is putting us on a path where our lives will be ruled by briewts and boards, commissions and czars.