president obama reveals the new york girlfriend he wrote about in his auto-biography was a character. and what else our president may be compositing next. and a shocking report from the onion news network reveals every potential candidate for the 2040 elections is already disqualified because of something he or she posted on facebook. a symposium on this startling story soon. scw a new poll -- and a new poll finds one in seven people think the world will end in their lifetime. >> andy? >> yes, sir. >> i am having a dinner at my apart meant after the show. >> okay. >> so i will need my tablecloth back. >> that might be a problem. >> if you can take it off your neck and stretch it out. >> is that a joke about my amazing tie? >> yes. >> not sure if you want to go there.

>> i have a beautiful tie. you have a tablecloth from bed, bath and beyond. >> he is so hot that the equator -- i am here with the new york daily news columnist and co-host on fox news channel. and if insightful commentary was a ski lift i would slowly ride him before getting off. it is michael money gnaw han, the managing editor. and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and he was the star of "battle star galactica" and" the a team" a legend and first time guest dirk benedict. that was great. and he is not worth a dime because his articles are slime. good to see you, pinch. >> scientists have found a

livering, breathing example of the composite girlfriend in the obama tomb "dreams of my father" and you are looking at it. that's right, it is me. what i lack in appendages i more than make up for in mouth. it is more like dreams of my paper, am i right, mr. president? >> thank you. >> you are welcome. >> no idea what that meant. did he muddle the truth of a girl from his youth. and barack obama's 1995 auto-biography "get er done" the life of me, barack obama future president of the usa, he writes about a new york girlfriend and describing her appearance and man riches in great detail. the president admitted that she was a composite character based on a number of ex's he had had. in the book, obama mentions taking the new york girlfriend seeing a play by a black play write, but it is more likely he went with a flame from chicago. i smell impeachment. quote, that was an example of compression. i was sensitive in my book not to write about my girlfriends,

partly out of respect to them. it involved the reaction of a white girl friend to the angry black play was a useful theme to make the reactions i had and the relationships with white girlfriends. anyway, here is a composite of my ex-girlfriends. >> didn't work out for anybody there. dirk, good to see you here. >> thank you. >> swree been trying to get you on the show for a couple years now. >> two years? well you finally sent some money. >> that was actually monopoly money. dirk, what happens to ex-girlfriends of celebrities this how come we never hear from them? this is the first time i ever heard of anything. >> ex-girlfriends of

celebrities, i don't know. they usually become semifamous and go on and get talk shows or write books or something. when you start lying it gets really, really complicated. the whole explanation you read , he lied about the girl so he made up this other lie creating this other girl. never trust a man who never had a father. they spend their whole lives looking for daddy, and before they find him, they are one. >> i seem to remember another person who grew up without his natural father, and he died for all of our sins. >> well done, bill. >> i am talking about obama. >> i thought he was going to say bill clinton. >> nicely done. >> that's true. >> andrea, what do you make of this? if he can't be trusted about his ex-girlfriends, can we be sure he wasn't born in kenya?

>> yes, composite girlfriend and composite birth certificate. i smell a rat all the way around. where are the ex-girlfriends? the women's vote should be offended by this. he just compiles all of us into one character, women he dated, right 1234* we are all the same person, we are all rational and we all like to shop and like lip gloss. what is wrong with that? anyway, we just work with fox so we have to. here is the thing, if i could make a composite boyfriend, i have said that too, but i would never write a book about it. if i could take all of the guys i dated and take one thing from each of them, they could be the perfect man. but i am not president and i wouldn't put it in a book. i would put it somewhere else. that's for a different show. >> my will cay, should he be impeached -- michael, should he be impeached? what was the word i was trying to say? >> asphyxiation. for the honesty in the book and the memwior. >> i am going to do something -- i am going to preempt

andy. there is a bit of fact checking we do. the story on this today was later updated by politico. obama acknowledged in the first edition of the book that it was a composite. i am going to say it is a bit of a long story. >> you had this information before this show started started and you decided until now? >> i am just mad he did it before i did. >> so instead of saying he acknowledged this -- why is it a story now then? >> you brought it up. >> benedict, unleashed. >> we don't know anything about this guy. this guy has been president for four years. and then all of a sudden it is coming up. it should have been done in 2008. >> but it was a love affair back then. >> we were just going to blame obama. now i blame the media for not accurately reporting this and doing the research. >> you have a composite,

imaginary girlfriend. how is that? >> lonely. the older i get the less my imagination is. the very right wing rag vanity fare is running a new book by by obama where they have a real life girlfriend. the only telling thing in this, and it pains me, but apparently he used to be fond of wearing a sarong on weekends. >> a sarong? >> a sarong. it was the late 70s. i'm sure jack tripper did the same thing. >> so did julius ceaser. >> did you see george pipard? >> dirk just came up with the headline that you are going to see everywhere tomorrow. >> about the saron em e. >> that's so wrong. >> i poo-ppoed the story, but there is something revealing about this book.

it has a couple of messages from obama to his girlfriend. he is not a kenyan or muslim or whatever people say. he is just a pretentious loser. i don't know if you saw -- did you see the -- >> no, i didn't. >> he is talking about poetry, and it is the most insufferable, and i don't have it in front of me, but it is like this academic mumbo-jumbo. >> maybe that's why there is no girlfriend. any guy that reads you poetry -- >> it is awful. >> i had some success with women and i didn't read a poem once. i had nbc. >> they actually read poetry to you. >> no, they were poetry. i never met a woman that wasn't a poem. >> that's the headline. >> hollywood, can i come back? >> i wasn't exactly asked to

leave. but it was time. >> i think we should just ask him why right now. >> that's another show. >> let's move on, shall we? >> from sweethearts to sigma-kai? is being in a frat not where it is at? anyone who rushes a greek pledge will face suspension. and the same thing for upper class recruiters but paddling en enthusiasts. school officials -- >> i haven't even had a drink yet. >> they claim their goal was to cut down on drinking, prevent first year students from limiting themselves socially, and finally they become the living embodiment of animal house's deworm -- dean rm woulder. they say -- i think it is bad for freshmen interested in frats and sororities and to not have the option.

he then ate40 live goldfish. we asked a fraternity brother to comment. >> you were a greek. why did they hate greeks? >> that's a great question, and why do they hate greeks in greek houses. i myself was in a sorority. and everyone should live in the house with dozens and dozens of snoby you know whats. i was ms. greek week and it was fulfilling. i drank a lot and i did a dance routine and they put a crown on me and i don't remember the rest. by the way, if girls can't join sororities, how will they learn about eating disorders ? >> how about pillow fights?

>> but seriously, it is so sad. i had a child that wanted to go to the ivy league and i locked him in the basement for two months. >> i think he just gave up. >> gave up or died? >> it is against the law. you left hollywood and moved to the woods. you were the celebrity version of the unibomber. >> a very good looking one. >> dad, i want to go to harvard. go to the basement! >> it is the problem of drinking. there is not the environment of the university. >> it is not the campus bar. >> it is a politically correct attack, and they wouldn't do this to other groups. it is the typical tradition. >> which groups? >> alternative groups like the

chess club. >> banning things always works. >> they can't drink anyways. they are 18 years old and princeton doesn't have official fraternities. >> you are right. no one under 18 is drinking. >> they will count down on it. it is a strange thing anyway. >> some of my best friends of my life are from fi-delta-feda. it was in the 60s and those days were tame. the 60s were -- once again, it is top down legislation of moral behavior. let's ban smoking.

we can make the whole nation -- there are so many laws now. >> this is why you live in the mountains. >> bill, you were in a sorority. you and a couple roommates moved in because you couldn't find someplace to live. it was in the 80s. >> truly we were the bosoom buddies. >> i was not in a fraternity. the closest group i ever joined was called eagle. i covered it for my paper. i realized it was the alliance for gays, lesbians and everything else. and it was more than any fraternity put together. >> we sang songs, we puffy painted t-shirts and sweatshirts. it was the same group.

>> the thing about the eating disorder, they had to replace the pluming in sororities at my college at berkeley because of the acid from the -- from the stomach acid. >> that's amazing. that's not true. >> it has to be true because everybody told me. >> everybody there was lactose intoll gent. >> what does that mean? you can't have pizza or anything good? >> or anything. we had melba toast and grape jelly. i mean, i lost weight. i looked amazing. should we blame one side for a congress polarized? is the endless fight to the right? one man thinks so. it has to be true. the pair -- no pictures ? >> imagine. >> it was worth waiting for. >> they say in their year studying congress they have never seen them more dysfunctional and it is all the republican's fault.

the gop's i'd logical extreme unmoved by conventional understanding of facts, evidence and science and dismisses the legitimacy of the political opposition. and they say that when one party moves from the party, they can deal with the country's challenges. it is challenges like this. >> the only thing bill is against is the horse wearing the hat. >> isn't it a long winded way of saying please be more liberal. >> the left being too extreme

is refusing to capitulate. and for what? 40, 50, 60 years. my younger years, the 60s and 70s and now because the nation is going off the cliff, a lot of people -- my brother -- was born and raised and live in montana. my friends are cowboys, ranchers, loggers. these guys have never been political. they are locked and loaded and they are going to tea parties. they barely voted before. they are drawing the line. they have had it. they won't be insulted anymore by this smirking from the left. they are shocked that all of a sudden people like me get back in their face. >> i was there.

>> it looked very good. >> are you 73, right? >> i am actually 72, thank you very much. >> there is an open mindedness from some people on the right. norm ornstein is the house liberal and he says they are horrible partisans. today there was a tweet -- i think it was a tweet from al gore who said, you know, "i told you" which is like did you read the study? did you look at the methodology? no you are scoring partisan points. it is self-fulfilling. >> when somebody complains about polarization, they never offer to move toward you. >> everything is polarized. it is code to me. it is all bs. >> bill says i was polarized because i wouldn't move closer to him. i think it has a different meaning.

>> but that is true. when republicans don't concede, somehow they are politicizing and they are the ones polarizing. when democrats do it or they try and say blowup a bridge in cleavland, it is democracy. that's people standing up for each other. by the way, i agree with you and not only are you the hottest member of the a team, you are the smartest too. >> i was never on the a team, but thank you. >> are you more than welcome to join the b team. >> you were on the a team but it was something different. >> it was a diagnosis. it was a sad diagnosis. >> a different movie. >> why, by the way? and this starts with the premise that hyper partisan ship is bad. >> it should be good. >> why is this a bad thing? they don't establish the terms, and they expect everyone will just go along for the ride. >> the secretive life is friction. it is polarization and negative and positive. this is what drives the

universe. it is good to have polarization. it is when everybody agrees. >> we have to take a break. i have somebody in my ear talking. >> there is no one in your ear. >> why are you making fun of me? what did i do? how much time do i have? 15 seconds? i can't even read this. why don't i just say we will be right back in about a minute and a half with more stuff?

well, will facebook posts crush the hopes? >> a troubling new report from the shuttleworth institute shows that due to facebook every potential candidate for the 2040 presidential race no matter how smart or accomplished is now completely unelectable. >> this is trevor kaufman. he is out of houston, texas. he is the high school class president and spends 10 hours a week volunteering and received a full scholarship to duke. look at his facebook photo album and you can see him smoking marijuana and they converted -- >> there is truth. everything kids post on-line now including rude pictures and comments could be used by political opponents against them in the future. what is the president of 2040 doing right now? we have tape.

amazing. he is a tiny little man. he is much like myself. do you think in the future a lot more average people will have a chance at the white house because we will have to lower the bar? there will be nobody squeaky clean anymore so anybody could become president, right? >> i think it is a great thing. in fact, i would have voted for any of the people. if you get more accustomed to the first president who didn't inhale, yeah right. and barack obama who snorted cocaine. now it is going to be acceptable. everybody will talk about their drug use and it will be a better society for it, more honesty. >> on the left it has always been a resume enhancement. being a sexist and woman eyer is an enhancement if you are warren beatty. >> if you are herman cane. >> if you are herman cane,

heaven forbid george bush -- >> you know what it is? it is progressive pig principal. if you believe in the progressive values you could be a pig. >> if you are a republican you are a hipocrite. >> you can get the women's vote which is bizarre. they overwhelmingly voted for bill clinton. >> this always fascinated me. >> i never got to talk. >> i i am the handsome one now. >> i don't know. i am just an empty suit. >> should you cut your kids off from social networks right now? >> my child is 13 months old. she already has a facebook page where she is clearly doing ecstasy. it is very alarming.

the culture is going to shift so much. 24r* is not going to be anybody in 2040. there is not going to be a bar at all. we will all have done a bunch of things. there are other shows too. >> everything turns into its opposite. eventually what will become trendy and fashionable is anonymous. i am setting the standard. >> you do realize you are on tv right now? >> i know. this is why i am a celebraholic. i am falling off the wagon by being on tv. >> bill, your daughters have no chance at the white house. >> my kids didn't have tv until they were 10. >> really? >> forget the other stuff. i wanted to brain wash them. >> too much garbage on nbc.

>> they watched 24-7 they watched a team episodes. no, there was a time when i was a child where parents were responsible for the morality and the ethics of children. it was not the school. the parents banned it or did not ban it. once the government starts doing that it is a slippery slope to control everything. >> why aren't you running for governor of montana? >> i have been asked. i am a celebraholic and i don't want to go there again jie. if jesse ventura can do it. >> too many things in your past? >> no, there is nothing in my past. i am proud of everything. i have written two auto-biographies and i named every woman in the index. >> did you ever date diane cannon? >> no. i wanted to. >> joanne whirly? >> erin gray? >> you did. >> yes!

>> she is a good friend of mine, actually. i met kate jackson when i -- my first broadway show and she was doing dark shadows and she came back stage to meet another guy on the show. i got her phone number. >> kate jackson is beautiful. >> that was way before "charlie's angels." >> i love that show. do you have a comment on the show e-mail us? we need to do a whole segment about your dating line. 212-462-5050. the half time report coming up with andy levy. >> tonight is sponsored by hipos. the large amphibious animals with a wide mouth, thick legs and gray skin. thanks, hipos.

welcome back. let's find out if we have anything wrong. hi, andy. how is it going? >> good, how are you, greg? >> i'm great. before we get to the stories, greg -- actually, dirk, greg said we have been trying to get on you the show for some time and you said well you finally sent me some money. standards and practices would like you to make it clear you were joking. >> well, it had nothing to do with it. it was between greg and i. i didn't say the network. it was greg and i. >> it is a gray area. >> greg often refers to himself as the network.

>> they were cd's of eddie money. >> he promised me drinks after. >> oh that's fine. >> thank you. >> obama's composite girlfriend. andrea, you said where are the ex-girlfriends? are you implying that one of obama's ex-girlfriends killed foster? >> i don't know if they would be smart enough. judging from the response of the girl at the play -- >> are you not not implying it? >> i am not not implying it. >> that's a double negative. >> michael, you said you would preempt me and say the story was updated later in the day. and obama said in the forward to his book that the girlfriend was a composite character. >> not quite. that's why i do this job and you don't. in my dreams obama writes quote some of the characters characters are composites of people i have known. he never mentions the girlfriends so this is new news. brut -- >> owe way. but he does say there are

characters that are composite. >> he never said the girlfriends are composites. >> that's a liar. >> was there a story we were supposed to know about here? >> he is making a come back. >> he made his living on tv. >> there was a story that you referenced and -- >> it was so long ago it was the beginning of the show. and i was siping gin. >> never mind. >> you brought up the unsufferable poetry that obama wrote, but you didn't have it in front of you. >> can you read it? >> this is from a letter he wrote to his girlfriend, alex. quote, elliott, this would be ts elliott, elliott has the same vision that runs and he retains a grounding in the social reality and order of his time facing what he

perceives as ecstatic chaos and life order. he maintains 8 sexual purity and brutal sexual reality. let me skip ahead. he says, again, this is obama, quote, and this fatalism is born out of the relation between fertility and death. i touched on in my last letter. a fatalism i share with the western tradition at times. you seem -- don't you share this ambivalence yourself? >> this is a new line of attack for people who want to go after obama for all sorts of tenuous things. he says he loves ts elliott. and ts elliott was a rather aggressive anti-semite. >> you are putting it out there. you are raising questions. >> and andy, andy what did he write? >> cats. how do you feel about that?

>> he wrote cats. it comes from his anti-sametic mind. >> i am fairly certain bill heirs wrote that letter. >> i never felt sorry for michelle obama in my life until you read that. >> what did you write when you were in college? >> bill, i totally agree with you. >> i should say that in fairness i was pretentious and an insufferable male. >> between the dream and the faladirbama's presidency. >> we don't know what he wrote in college. >> we are a sitcom. >> what? >> i would hoping you would move on. i can't hear a word you are saying so i am reading your lips. >> princeton bans students. andrea, you said you were

ms. greek week? >> i was. >> more information. >> i did a dance routine to prince and sheila e's "the look." and we did sting's "we'll be together" with a chair. the question and answer portion is what sealed it. but i did lube up and put oil on for the bikini competition which may have put me over the edge. my english professor was one of the judges. i think that was it. evening gown was boring. >> i need a drink. >> is there a video in? there are nights that i lay awake and wonder the same question. i think someone from a different sorority has a video. there is a girl out there with a video. >> follow-up question? did you say you and your sorority sisters poured glitter over each other? >> during pledging and stuff. >> is there video? >> that i don't think there is video of. >> this is the finest work you have ever done. >> thank you. >> no, the finest work i have ever done is when i find that video. >> you better hope the girl who took that is a

republican. >> i don't think she is. >> blame the gop. andrea, you said when republicans don't concede they are polarize i think it is the same for being devisive. if they are split, it is the people on the right who are being devisive. >> that's true. they are always blamed. >> i have a separate look at that. a good example of the polarization was how i was allowed to talk during that segment. >> you were allowed. >> were you not allowed to talk? >> you could have interjected it. >> i am a lefty. >> michael, you pointed out that there was an assumption by hyper partisan ship is bad. i agree. they assume it is a noble goal, but they don't know why. they say moderation is a

virtue. >> and in all of the people that are referenced, it is too bad that all of these dripping sen terrorists -- centrists were bounced. these shifts happen after the cat tau cataclysmic events. people get more partisan and you know what i am saying. >> quickly on this report that says every potential candidate is already disqualified because of facebook. greg i hate to bring this up, they picked this story to report from a shuttleworth institute. i did some digging and i don't think this institute exists. >> i get most of my news from them. >> i think they got had. there is a foundation in south africa, but it may be a legend, and we are not sure. >> we got burned. >> i don't know if we need to re-do a block or something. >> maybe we will just pull it out. >> i didn't mean that.

>> bill's mind is always in the gutter which is a gay bar downtown. >> the rest of me is still here. >> are you done? i can't hear you. all right. does being a delicious slab of man meat ensure a lifetime of beautiful women at your beck and call? he discusses his new book, yes it does. and what year will the world end? that is between me and my god, al ron hubbard.

are we heading for armageddon? a new poll finds one in seven people worldwide, that's like 30 billion believe the world will end during their lifetime , and 10% think the end of the myan calendar think it is 2012. wise up people, it is over. they surveyed 16,000 people in 20 countries and france and 6% believed they were doomed some

say soon. in the united states 22%, one in five, or more actually thought that to be true. let's discuss this, shall we? >> lightning roooouuuuunnddd. lightning round. >> i -- you got lost there for a moment. >> i did. first time on the show. the lightning round? >> that's the length of the lightning round because it is really long. planets have been around for a hundred years or so. >> you shouldn't be afraid of death. you should embrace it. >> i embrace death every night. >> every thursday night. >> it is the nickname of my masseuse. >> it is called jack daniels. >> i agree. >> fear of death, it is fear of aging. plastic surgery is a form of suicide. it is looking in the mirror and hating what you see. what a way to live.

it is a fear of death. when this -- in a really free country people don't even think of it. they are free and in the moment. >> that's a good point. anandrea? >> it backs up the statistics you read. the french, they don't get plastic surgery. they sit around and smoke cigarettes and drink wine. they were not concerned about dying, but one in five in our country is because we are stressed out. we work harder than they do. >> it also kind of contridicts the whole socialism thing. the french they tend to lift to the left. it is a more of a left behind thing. >> it is not just a series. >> left behind. >> i know who will be still here when we are there. sorry, buddy. >> there is a lack of spirituality. there is a spear -- a spiritual aspect and we live in a growing -- we are

making -- you know hitler was the first -- >> you bring up a good point. i was walking around willy nile for a longtime. i thought, we will be fine and then gays started marying and then i think the rapture is six weeks away. >> bill, you know bruce willis will save us when the time comes. >> some of us, perhaps, probably not me. he will ask for my voting record and not be happy. >> when the ship sinks it won't be women and children first anymore, will it? this is 100 years of titanic. i thought, i am not putting women and children -- i am getting in. i am more of a woman than most women i know. >> we did a study on that. everyone is like that now. it always was. >> we have to take a break. we have more stuff on the way, more stories and neat things.

there is so much more to him. let's learn fans of learning. >> dirk benedict became a vegetarian in 1971. dirk suffers from 50% hearing loss in his left ear due to a

firearm mishap when he was 12. in 2006 dirk appeared at the wizzard world convention in chicago, illinois. in 1989, dirk starred in the tv movie "trench coat in paradise." dirk has a brother and a sister named roy and ramona. the name of dirk's first book is "confessions of a caw macaw swree cowboy." dirk was a member of di-delta-pheta. he wrote and directed "cahoot" in 2001. >> i didn't know i did all of this. >> you had quite the career. you made an interesting point. you said you had a vibrant sex life and it killed your sex life. celebrity killed your sex life. >> i was not unsuccessful with women when i was a normal guy. i had to work at it. i had to extend myself and talk and take them to diner and be somebody. when i was filming cat battle

star galactica" we would go to this bar next to ucla and have beer. and there were the pretty co-eds and i would try to chat them up. i smelled like a hick from montana. the show went on in 1978 and i went in the next friday and the girls are sitting there and they glance and saw me and they went -- and they all came down and i was charming and funny and everybody hoping on every word and i went, oh my god. >> women are evil. >> they are drawn to celebrity. >> does this become a foursome or a sevensome. >> what is the word for five? >> is that like four plus lauren green or something? i started off by saying i am not that kind of guy. and i ended up saying yes. >> speaking of yes, i am going

to throw out some names and you say yes or no. >> ton knee catain. >> no. >> not even close? lonnie anderson. >> i am going to take the fifth. >> bailey quarters? >> who? >> wkrp. >> i got a smirk out of that one. there was a smirk there. you did something with bailey quarters. >> a dirk smirk. >> you did, didn't you? she was adorable. shelly hack. >> really? i did a movie with her. >> in your bedroom? >> she was married to a big producer at abc. >> shelly duvall. >> shelly better man. berman. the funniest sex i ever had. >> all all right here is one. i key you c -- see with you kay lens. >> i want to see kay lens, but she married to the brady bunch guy. no, it was sean cassidy.

>> from "the par tredge family." >> susan day. >> only at night. no, no. >> speaking of "brady bunch" did you see eve's plums, so to speak? that's a maybe. >> let's move on to "the love boat" lauren tweed? did she have any activity for you? >> she was on that "love boat" thing. yes, i did that show. >> did you that show? >> i was on that show. you know there are a lot of double entandras. >> you didn't respond to charlotte ray. >> very stunning. >> how about the charlie's angels. >> we have already talked about kay.

i knew these people. >> jacqueline smith. >> no. >> any member from "hart." >> why are you obsessed? >> i am obsessed with your sex life. >> benson? mrs. prows? >> a great actor. >> mona from "who's the boss"? >> judith white. judith light. >> did you know judith light? >> i did. we were in the cancer play together. no, i was in that one. >> no you weren't. >> yes, i played her son. >> no, you didn't. >> look it up. look it up. >> are you serious? >> we have to close things out the post game wrap up with andy levy.

he is an old friend -- she is an old friend. >> linda blair?

>> maud? >> go ahead, post game wrap up. >> andrea, what is your column about this week? >> mitt romney and how he needs a message. >> that's a good idea. >> i would rather talk about his love life and all of the women he has slept with. >> michael what do you have come ?g. >> a piece in the "wall street journal" and one coming this weekend and chris buckley's new book and something else about holocaust art. >> lillian helman, did you sleep with lillian helman. >> elf? >> you slept with elf. >> gloria stewart. >> miss piggy. >> no, no more kiss and tell. >> bill: the o'reilly factor is on tonight. causing damage to propertnd