marriage. the shocking story that is just short of fabulous. and does a new law mean no more bake sales for a massachusetts school? stick around to find out. all right, fine, i will tell you now. way to ruin a perfectly god tease, fellas. and what do they want to do with the land mount rushmore is on? greg? >> thanks, andy. >> you bet, imreg. >> see you later. >> bye. >> bye. let's welcome our guest. she is so hot that fireworks can lose a finger playing with her. i'm here with a first time guest. she is lore -- laura brown. she is the speaker at harper's bizarre magazine. and if thoughtful commentary were squat thrusts i would do him every day. and his latest book is called how to bleep in public. i saved them time. and his scabies have crabs, my

sidekick bill schulz. and he is better looking than debbie and the only gibson in my life that matters. the great john gibson the host of the john gibson show. and he cackles in delight our new york times correspondet. good to see you, pinch. >> today times panelists ask is it healthier to love the body you have or strive to be fit? on a personal note i have come to love my body. ♪ we're headed to the bar ♪ no shoes ♪ no shirt ♪ we still get service i have passion in my pants ♪ ♪ and i apt afraid to show it ♪ ♪ i'm sexy and i know it ♪ wiggle, wiggle, wiggle >> nice. >> it is nice, my body. >> why do we start this show with you? >> wiggle, wiggle ?ie. can we have it both ways when it comes to gays? it is getting harder. the vp said he is, quote,

absolutely comfortable, end quote with same-sex marriage and deemed the right to marry. it put obama in a pickle. he says his own thinking is, well, what is the word? >> the president was asked and he said his views -- his perm views on this -- his personal views were evolving. i think the president said he was evolving on the issue. >> as you know, he said his views on this were evolving and i don't have an update for you on that. >> thanks, potzi. the new york times lamented the endlessly frustrating hedging of obama, another end quote. on the issue which chuck todd summed up best with this question. >> hip me out here -- help me out here. he bans gay marriage, but doesn't support it. >> that's our guy. >> oh well. sorry you can't understand that. meanwhile, in john gibson's basement.

>> proof if you put anything in a ring no matter how adorable, they will kill each other. gibson, are you our political mind, and you have been in a committed relationship for 20 years now with savannah, the nor we swren body builder. you know best what is going on here. what is going on here? why won't he come out and say it? >> look, i can't believe this is a gas. he goes on "meet the press." he is this long winded answer. it is not like something casual. it seems to me that the obama team is playing chips all over the roulette table. you put a little on red and a little on black and a little here and a little there. arne duncan is for it and joe biden is for it. >> he is setting the table, if

you will. >> he is getting ready to have an intervention with america. >> after the election. >> he is going to be fully evolved. >> you look divine. >> thank you of so. >> she has an accent too. how long do you think he will publicly dance around this? >> it would be a good dance because he can sing well too. i think for awhile. i'm sure everybody is dyeing to hear an australian's opinion on the american political system, so i will share it. it is a shame that he has to do the dance. he is doing the dance obviously for political reasons. if he comes out now, he may lose certain states. it is a shame show. coming from a very gay friendly land as i am. >> that's what i have been told. >> yes, gay all the time. i love scrow. i love joe. i am a little gay for joe.

>> gavin, the latest polls show the country is split on gay marriage. what should obama do? >> he should mary jo biden. i think that would be a bold move, and it would be a slap in the face to the voters. wake up. >> you must have a serious answer on this one. >> first of all, i don't understand why gay marriage keeps taking over the elections. how many people are we talking about here? gays are 1% of the population and a few lesbians and some of the white dudes want to get married? when they do it, they do it at the courthouse in hawaii an shirts. it can't be that important to them. >> by the way, i question your number and i don't know -- like politically the numbers matter. i'm sure that is what obama is thinking. he says what will he lose there? for principals the numbers of how many are gay and how many want to be married is irrelevant. it is whether they have the right. >> and it is the people who like the idea of gay marriage he is going for.

he is not going for the gay marriage either. >> i agree with john. i think he did it to test the climate for gay marriage. i think he did it because obama had a bad jobs report. i think they wanted to keep romney's rick reynolds thing going in the news, and it was a strategic -- >> this is something that is going on. it is one distraction after another. it is almost on purpose. when obama said romney wouldn't have killed bin laden. why did high do that? we didn't talk about the economy that day or diswhroobz day. even if it seems to be embarrassing to him to get on that subject you will notice they are doing it. >> what a paycheck to earn to sit there. >> i personally would love him to get there. but he would have to say that to the press core.

the press corp. >> i don't blame him he is dealing with flaming -- with differing opinions. >> president are they laughing about what he said? >> here is my -- the thing i love most about this. i don't think this was orchestrated. >> i'm with you. i think biden was doing fine -- obama was doing fine, but biden is like an old friend from your past that brings you will something that happens in vegas like with a transgendered sex worker in front of your wife, and it is the truth and it actually happened, but you don't want him to bring it up. >> that's what happened. >> either at a wedding speech or thanksgiving. >> that's not what the transgender said. >> the best man goes up and it is like, oh. >> where do you see this going?

>> i think -- i still -- i actually don't know if it was a gap or not. to illustrate where romney stands, i don't really get that. i mean obama is being wary because he likes places like north carolina. obama is against the defensive marriage act and romney is for it. >> we don't know that. >> we know that. >> that's another story. >> and his woman -- and the lady lady -- what do you call it, the snap on hair or whatever. >> it is marvelous. >> i want to get out of here on a positive note. from politics to pastries. can they raise dough without donuts? bake sales have been a staple

for the cash-strapped schools. plans to outlaw them as part of their new new trigs standards. the department of public health and education will get rid of competitive foods meaning bake sales and vending machines and holiday treats. so now they need to find a new way to raise money to please their well rounded runts. says one angry parent, why would you do that? the goal is to raise money. you are going to be able to sell pizza. a democratic state senator says there are too many fat kids to let this practice go on. you can see the same thing about cats. >> is it a puree cup cake? >> that's why we win the emmy. >> 1.5 million students are obese, but is that the fault of a lovable cup cake? >> i guess.

>> i find it funny that these women are so fashist about gluten and you can't have kids doing this and it has to be organic foods, yet they don't have a problem with abortion. she kills her baby and gets a high five. but if you give them too much fructos you are a murderer. >> i never heard of gluten and abortion in the same sentence. >> what about the girl scout cookies then? >> they are selling the girl scout cookies at the schools and the parking lots. this is great. i have been eating that stuff for 50 years now. i have to take lipitor. it would be a good idea. >> is that a drug of some kind? >> i had that action figure. >> it is called living a balanced existence.

the thinking is nobody can control himself enough to have one or two cookies. >> did you have baked koala? >> you start with the koala and go to the kangaroo. >> you said kids should start selling drugs which i condemn completely. but how will they be able to pay for their instruments for their school band if they can't sell food. >> i will see you school bands and raise you athletic equipment. that's where the bake sales go to. a case could be made that was the athletic equipment and not having the bake sales you are making them fatter rather than thinner. >> you have to work it off. >> and i tell you something, i like making cases. >> is it a case full of cakes? >> it is a case full of kisses. >> what is going on between you two? >> he is gay for me.

>> isn't this a great way to make money? it is a great lesson for kids. they will learn more from selling something in a capitalistic society than they would learn in the classroom. fat people are a problem. it does get expensive when we get older and we can't deal with the gigantic bodies and we have to pay for gastric bypass. but there is nothing you can do about fat kids. >> except love them. >> or run them over. >> you never know. >> love them. >> fat kids always become skinny adults. it is a fact. it is skinny adults who become fat adults. >> the only time -- >> it is a roller coast are -- rollercoaster of emotions. >> if you see a fat kid say nice purple track pants and then she tells her friends and it spreads. >> it is viral. >> from as saw 9 to addiction, are they truly ill or lack the

will? our nation's shrinks come to a conclusion about the sex addicts. they don't exist. in the new manual of mental disorders -- i am looking forward to getting that, by the way. they have been demoded to the uh pen ducks with other conditions that requires other research. now being super horny doesn't classify as a psychiatrist disorder. according to the american psychiatric association it will require patience to meet four of the five cry criteria including these two. excessive time is urged by planning and/or engaging in sexual behavior. this without regarding the emotional help to the self-or others. i believe they were talking about this. >> he never did that before

there was turtle porn on the internet. once he got it into his apartment, his turtle apartment, that's all he does. >> i empathize with that frustrated fell law. >> he should keep toned his shell. >> is sex addiction a copout for bad behave, or is it real? >> i don't understand why anybody is making a big deal about this. since it wasn't a psychiatric condition before, who is stepping up and demanding to be recognized as somebody with a psychiatric condition? >> everywhere you go now they are calling things addictions. it is not just sex. it is internet and video games. >> are sex addicts demanding to be cured. >> i think doctors need it to be classified in order to run their clinics or sex rehab. >> do they have clinics ? they have meetings in rooms. >> i think it is not an illness. it is an excuse. that's my girl opinion. i guess sometimes i feel like -- in america everything is an addiction.

i screwed around and i think it is a triumph of time manage meant. expil maintaining a jofnlt. >> are you taking an excuse from stacey create service agents. secret service agents. >> that's a fact. you can't blame anything on an illness anymore, i believe. >> gavin, should it be treated as a mental disorder? >> i have to disagree with everyone and say yes. can you imagine what it would be like to be walking down the street and staring at women's asses in tight pants and wanting to have sex with beautiful women all day long, and to look at porn when you get home. to not even be able to not look at a woman's ass as she wears fight white pants and stilettos? >> it truly is a disease. the way you put it that way -- >> what dave described is exactly what goes on in a man's mind all the time.

>> the only thing worse i can imagine, imagine you have alcohol itch. you crave -- alcoholism. you crave booze and you want a bourbon all night and beers and a bump or two. >> he is talking about shoving people. >> they are in hell. >> bill, you get paid to dance for rich, older men. you are on the front lines of sex addiction. >> back lines. >> i feel like gavin may have been a little sarcastic there. >> i want to answer legitimately . >> we are describing the cline tons of the world. >> terrible movie. >> if you guys don't think -- if you don't think -- if you do not think sexual addiction

is a study and you will never want to have sex again. there is us and there was -- >> that was my journal. how dare you? >> it was your dream journal and it should still be locked up. >> we can't get into that here. >> i won't get into that. , buts here. >> it is a normal life with more options. every celebrity would meet the requirements of the disorder. >> finding one is hard. >> that is true. that is true. >> we have to take a break. stories so amazing where if they were strudel you would say wow that is amazing. >> but first can the men and women be friends? they will leave you not board.

they told him to go because of lmfao. well, a colorado first grader, aren't they all, is back at school after serving a suspension foretelling a female classmate, quote, i'm sexy and i know. it that's a line from the horrible group lmfao. with the six-year-old saying he quoted while standing in the lunchline. the school district suspended him for three days claiming what he did qualifies as sexual harassment which devante's mom says is ridiculous and unfair to her adorable, adorable son. >> i hope we get an apology as

to why they want to call this a sexual harassment. this follows him the rest of his life. >> i love the front of the school shots like we need to seat front of the school. he apparently got in trouble for singing the same lyric to the same girl. he should go to prison. speaking of overly affection gnat. >> of course i don't want him to go to prison. this is an outrage. the school overreacted. what should be done? >> i hate stories like this. i want to do jokes, but i get so mad. this kid obviously didn't even know what he was saying. when they freak out, they put that sexuality into his head. so they are sexually harassing him by making something that wasn't sexual sexual. >> now he is going to think about it.

>> how is it sexual harassment when he doesn't know what sex is? what would we do in the news business without silly stories? if something like this didn't come up, what would we do? they say the kid is sexually harassing another kid and what would we do? >> that was the story we bumped for this. >> i think it is irrelevant. these people are trying to control our lives. >> that's the point. we wouldn't have anything to do if they were not crazy people out here and i am talking about school administrators who do things like this so we can go on the air and say what are they doing things like this for? >> somebody is flipping back the curtain. >> it is a cute, remorseful, adorable. people would say, are you a virgin? do you want to know what a

virgin is? i said no. this is like when we were 12. god bless. >> you often recite the frank egos to hollywood scenario. it is not about sexual harassent in. it is what kids hear when they shouldn't be hearing it. why is that music, i don't know, whatever i was going to say. >> we will throw in something. i was the first in the class to wear the franky central x t-shirt. >> that wasn't a real class. >> it was very yesterday and i am not allowed to come back. >> i can't blame the parent on this. the sexy and i know it is like every market and you can't escape that. >> that's my point is you can't escape the sexualization. >> we saw those pictures of being devonte is a happy,

happy kid. >> when he is old he will be like, yeah, i did that. >> he is doing that now. let's look at the big picture. he got a 3-day suspension. what does he have left? a three-day break from math problems and stuff that makes me going into a cold sweat. three days off. >> i don't think memories are what puts you in a cold sweat. >> that is me hoping the show ends quickly so i can stop with the sweating. >> this is the best thing that happened. do you have a comment so on the show? leave a voicemail on my direct line. it is simple and we will be looking at it, 212-462-5050. still to come, the half time report from tv's andy levy. joke. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by hockey. the sport played on ice

between two games of stick with curved ends to hit a small rubber dig in the opposing goal. thanks, hockey.

welcome back. let's find out if we have anything wrong so far. for that we go to andy levy. >> how are you doing greg? >> good, thanks. >> as john eluded to, that was fox news' own ed henry sitting next to chuck todd.

>> i did not recognize him from the sideview. >> that was a legitimate response. you were reading something into it. >> i was thinking something, and now you are thinking that which i am thinking of. >> you can't believe what vice president biden said on sunday wasn't a gaff. i don't agree. they were not ready to deal with the fallout. carney would have handled the press conference a lot better. >> could be, but gee this guy makes a lot of well prepared gaps. >> he does. he did refer to president romney as president clinton in the same meet the press interview. >> that's why he is great. >> not as a president, but a

vice president. >> you said people are dying to. hear. keep in mind we are big fans of australian opinions. >> gavin, you don't understand why the gay marriage issue takes over the elections if gays are 1% of the population. i think it is 2 to 4%, although interestingly a poll done a year ago found the u.s. adults estimated that 25% of americans are gay or lesbian. >> i guess because of the tv shows and the big cities in new york. i think it is more like one. how many of them really want to get married? >> you can say that about straight people too. >> i think whatever the percentage is that is not necessarily the importance of n a issue.

i don't think you can just look at any issue and say this only affects 2% of the population so it is not important. >> it is like the turks slaughtering the armenians. >> they are run on the genocide of the armenians. it seems like a tiny group is dominating the uh date. it happened last election too. >> can we have one show where we are not talking about the turks turks and air armenians. it would be nice. unreal. >> bill, you keep comparing president obama to romney on this. >> i don't compare him to romney on this. >> that you can still compare them. >> but honestly i don't think that is the issue. president obama would prefer it not be televised. but when you come into the office, i think you should be

called out on it they just didn't tell. >> if they were even -- >> but then -- wait a minute. he repealed -- >> it is not fair to say -- the policy was enacted under clinton. it was a compromised policy. >> it wasn't a step back. >> it was meant to be a step forward. however, i want to go to the fact that in 10 minutes you will tweet the evolution will not be tolerated line. >> why don't you save it for the show? >> if i tweeted it after the show it would still be on twitter before the show aired. >> that's what i'm saying, after the show.

>> it under performs. >> how many retweets ? >> i don't know. not a lot. >> it was 20. >> it was 12. >> it was more than 12, come on. >> 13 when i get my hands on mine. >> massachusetts bans bake sales. you referred to as an actual state? >> it is a commonwealth. one requires about three times as long to write it. that's why i took it out of the script. i knew it was a commonwealth. >> john, are you -- i suspect rushes but you shopped and you are trying to run people's lives? bill, i believe lipitor is one of the avengers. >> small cameo and you just did a spoiler. nobody calls you the case

maker. >> did you really speak with anyone i went to high school with? >> they called you the parents peer. >> different high school. i was kicked out of that one and started making cases rather than taking my pants off. >> they thought you were a mace canker. >> you said fat kids always become skinny adults. it is a fact. >> it is a fact. >> any glamour magazine says i was a fat kid once. >> i was awkward. i was an awkward teenager. and they eat a lot of cake. >> and then right after the interview. >> and now they say nothing else matters. >> it is too bad, but we agree on this, we are both for the movie shame.

>> the movie was trying to portray the sex addiction, and you are seeing the actor have sex with the hot women. it is not a problem. if that guy was played by ernest borgnine then i could go for it. >> the standard hotel. >> so much sadness. >> the other part of the movie, i'm assuming people have talked about this. they either ripped off or stole it from the red line. >> in the green room we discussed that. >> it is amazing. >> i don't think enough people are talking about that. >> more than you? >> exactly more than one. >> john, you said you don't understand what the big deal is i think the idea is psychiatrists were trying to add it to the new dsm and they are pending it further study. >> glad to be updated.

>> i sense some sarcasm. vicious sarcasm. >> i wouldn't say vicious. >> gaff -- gavin, do you not think alcoholism was a tease? >> i don't think drug addiction or alcoholism is a disease. >> even though they found that people are genetically pre predisposed to be it? >> i am genetically pre disposed to alcoholism, but i manage to hold it back a little bit. >> you manage? >> you weren't managing well during the commercial break. >> it is one of the facts that we all know is true. >> i totally disagree with you on this. >> first grader suspended for sexual harassment. gavin, you made a great point on this, but the school is

actually making it sexual. can we add the parents on the list of people not acquitting themselves well? the kid got in trouble for doing the same thing, but it takes until the second time where the mom says "i guess i should tell him -- what this really means so he doesn't say it again. jay but i have kids and i said things like, the next person that says but is getting a 10-minute timeout. and then they say -- but. they have tourrette's. "tropic thunder" was a movie where they say you never go full retard. they were making fun of an idiot that was saying stuff like that. they had kids with downs out there protesting, and these kids were told, this movie calls you a retard. hold your sign. a joke that wasn't meant to be cruel was cruel in their heads and they put it in the kid's

heads. >> what about sexual harassment at a bake sale? >> that will be for tomorrow. >> talk about buns. >> interesting segue there. >> i'm done. >> that you are. coming up, should you strap on live puppies wear them as shoes? laura brown discusses the latest issue of glamour. first, what is the best country in the world to raise your kids? it is not america. ace always say, u usa, number two.

should guys and gals still be pals ? it is an internal question. finally science has an answer. researchers at the university of wisconsin looked at opposite sex and concluded that men are more attracted to the female friends than vice-versa. and dudes over estimate the attraction their lady pals feel toward them according to

one researcher. lady's behavior may be more op pour few nistic as they face a risk of being shut out genetically if they didn't take advantage of various reproductive opportunities. let's discuss this -- >> lightning roooouuuuuuunnnnddd. lightning round. >> most women eventually figure this out, right? that's why married men can't have female friends. >> in college you are naive and you say we are really good pals and then you get drunk and make out. >> that's the college voice you make. >> yes. >> keep doing that. jay then you get d.a. -- >> then you get married and you say to your wife, i am going camping for a few days for leslie. we have the one tent and we are going to shoot small game and get wasted and sit by the fire and get to know each other. i will be gone three days. the coolest wife in the world

would go, no. >> that is the greatest impression of a person in their 20s i have ever heard. >> thanks a lot. >> laura, why do women refuse to believe their male friends want to have sex with them? no, there was -- oh we are just friends. >> i have seen plenty of women who think their medical friends want to have sex with them. >> say if you two are dating and you are going oh i am meeting greg for drinks and he is like, why are you meeting greg for drinks? he just wants to sleep with you. you say no, no, no, never. >> because i can control it. they think you are gasping to sleep with me, but i don't want to sleep with you. >> and you are not supposed to read this note until after the show. this is very awkward. >> gasping to sleep with you. >> he told may he was sexy and he knew it.

john, doesn't this say that having platonic friends is a waste of time? >> you know, i just -- having been married a longtime, i just can't imagine this pitch as gavin put it. it seems impossible. i don't know why anybody would attempt it. >> you can have acquaintances and you can go out to lunch with a friend from work who is a lead, but it never gets past the acquaintance level. let's just go camming and be together. >> it is easier to have a relationship when one of you is taken up. that's why you sur round yourself with friends. >> feel freer to answer this question as if you had friends. >> i have many a female friend. i will tell you how it works.

what you do is you drink yourself until the sex drive is gone, but then you are a shopping buddy because the sex is gone nor more most. >> i don't think women and men can be casual friends. do you ever see when a girl says shoo she has a lot of guy buddy and she is a complete lush? she is langing out with the guys . >> or boy girls. some girls are only friends with guys, dodgy. >> they always drink bourbon on the rocks. >> the weird thing is they all have penises. >> don't even think about leaving. we have more for you.

next topic the united nations officials are urging to turnover mount rushmore to native americans. the u.n special reporter on the rights of indigenous peoples made the recommendation after meeting with native americans in six states. the south dakota memorial is on sacred lands. how do i say that? that's the sioux tribes.

i saw the x. i was going to say soux. you are the "red eye" native american expert. and we pay you well for that. what do you make of that? >> i have to admit i thought it was millar key and charity before i married one of them. with her tribe they have a legitimate land claim they get money from like being an heir. it is a legal document. it is a case by case basis. i saw one that said they deserve possession of the lands west of the hudson and north of the mow hawk rivers for as long as the sun shall shine and the rivers shall flow. so that is new york gone now. some of the more ambiguous one where one person was drunk and one was stoned, we president cay honor those. >> why mount rushmore? it is a big pile of rocks.

if the argument the black hills territory was taken from the tribe, why not the home stake mining company which they have been pulling gold out of for a hundred years? go back to william randolph bones and say give me my money back of the. >> they would run the business. they would just run the business, right? they would take over? >> when is going to -- what is going to happen? >> i don't know what is going to happen. who did she think she is? >> i wanted to jump in. that's an inflection. we have a big, giant gorgeous rock and it was given to the original people. i respect the traditions and it is there for all.

>> it makes us look like jerks. >> brie the way -- by the way, kind of over rated. >> when i was little i was obsessed. i want to go now. >> it is a beautiful monument. but they are big, giant bases. >> you contridicted yourself. i'm kidding. >> somebody hasn't seen "national treasure" and book of secrets and everybody knows -- it was north by northwest. do i have time for this? a new report ranks the united states as one of the best places to raise a child. it is based on mortality and interest rates. the high 10 pregnancy rates, poverty levels, lack of access to health care.

gavin, why is this true? >> well, it is the bottom 90 that are trying to come in obviously. it is simple math. jay -- he he is pointing out -- >> the northern europeans are not kicking down our front door. >> let me in. >> we are awesome. >> thank you, green card. thank you. you made me. >> you had to marry bill. what do you make of this? >> somebody is always trying to tear us down. that's true. >> we can never out run the haters. >> you should do a book. >> bill, last word? >> i found it was a lovely place to grow up in. i think i am a living example how great the education system

and child rearing. we are going to close things out with a post game wrap up. sphwo to fox news.com/-- go to fox news.com/red eye.

see you back here for "the five." coming up tomorrow -- back to tv's andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> thanks. what is the most frightening one minute in television? >> half time where andy levy tells me what i got wrong. >> well that was strange. >> that was longer than a minute. >> well, it is a minute of agony here. worrying about it and then sweating afterwards and wonder figure anybody will give me a hard time about it.

>> who is bees dressed at the ball? >> kate blanchett, my people. thanks for asking me. >> gavin, what is up with the book? >> the book will send it back soon if you don't buy. it this is the last week. get it now or i am dead. >> what are you talking about? >> they have a window where they order them all, if they don't sell them in six weeks they send them back. >> i didn't know that. >> yes, it suks. >> it does suck. >> thank you, andy, laura, bill schulz, that does it for me. i'm greg gutfeld. see you tomorrow. >> bill: the o'reilly factor is on. tonight. >> no justice. >> no peace. >> bill: are some powerful american institutions intimidated by african-americans? the answer is yes and we will make that case this evening off the terrible mob assault in norfolk, virginia. >> what began as a dispute