gets it to this. the change in tax for small businesses, change only, $273 billion in the year 2013 alone. so when he says it doesn't effect small businesses, it's not true. i think it does. greg, obama call tax cut spending? >> greg: first off, wasn't that -- that was today, right? was he at a community college? was he speaking at a community college? where are all the successful green companies he can talk in front of? i guess they have all turned brown. only at community colleges. the thing, this makes no sense. he is saying that your paycheck is his property. he is actually counting on money you haven't made yet. for the next ten years. he is counting on that. rather than taking the responsibility of saying i will spend $1 trillion less. he is looking at america in their eyes an saying no, you should feel guilty if you

don't give me that $1 trillion. it's disgusting. >> eric: you point this out yesterday, at what point is a tax cut, how long do they last before it's tax base is, but 10, 11 years, right? >> dana: right. the dreaded bush tax cuts as they were branded at the time. one thing that the democrats said every day until yesterday the bush tax cut only benefited the rich. but now, president obama wants credit for giving a tax credit and extending the taxes to the middle class because it was helpful to them. perhaps they are conceding that the tax cuts help everybody. maybe not. >> greg: this is the logic. it has more holes than dunkin' donuts. if tax cuts are bad for economy why keep 98%? if they are good for economy why cut out 2%? only one reason. he is clinging to class warfare like gun to religion.

>> andrea: dana's point, joe biden talks about it benefiting the middle class over and over and over in 2009, calling at it jolt. president obama said he wanted to extend the tax cut, over and over he said it's the right thing to do, right thing for economy. speaking of small businesses, not only is the tax with small businesses we got through a couple of weeks watching the supreme court uphold the employer mandate. meaning that the small businesses with 50 employees or less, they don't have to cover their employees. they can dump employs in exchanges. if you have 53 employees what are you going to do? you are going to fire three, four employees? not going to hire. if you don't, you get hit with $2,000 penalty. small businesses are getting stuck. >> eric: small business, how in the world can president obama call at it tax cut when he extends a provision that is already in tax code. he what he is doing is hiking taxes, $273 billion worth of taxes in one year. >> bob: well, first of all, the bush tax cuts did benefit

the middle class a lot. it did another thing. you talk about 49% of people don't pay taxes. before the bush tax cuts, 30% of the people didn't pay taxes. after the bush tax cut, took people from the low end of the income scale off the payroll, off taxes. 49% is a number that resulted rd from bush. not obama. i give bush credit for that. what we are saying here for people in the top 2%, the cost of the tax cuts is $1 $1.75 trillion over ten years. >> eric: i hate to interrupt you, and i hope i didn't. but the number has risen steadily throughout president obama's term. >> bob which? >> eric: the people not paying taxes. you have can't blame president bush. >> bob: i'm not, i said -- >> eric: went to 40% under bush and 4% today. the increase happened under obama. >> bob: it's not true. >> eric: it is true. >> bob: it's a good thing. >> andrea: >> dana: they use the same

argument. at the time, president bush said people should have more -- they can do better making their own decisions with more money that they earn in their own pocket. low income, i trust you to make better decisions. >> greg: how do you know? >> dana: i'm using this as an example. you will make better decisions with money in your pocket and we'll stimulate the economy that way. that worked. so now they want to say it didn't work for ten years and president obama wants credit to extent those that were helpful. it's like or wellian. >> eric: allow me. taking credit. i heard bob said obama recovery and them say summer recovery. look at the full screen. this is the recovery. employment population ratio. this is the recession, post recession. there is absolutely no up-side on this. no recovery whatsoever. >> andrea: point out, too, what he is proposing, tax those making $250,000 for more is something that harry reid

has brought to the floor of the u.s. senate. the democratic controlled senate. that failed. you have chuck schumer coming out, it will kill constituencies saying it should be $1 million or more. ironically, jesse jackson came out and said it should be $1 million or more, too. probably because jesse jackson makes $999,000. >> bob: it will pass and give people a chance -- >> andrea: why do it? >> bob: why does the house bring up the ridiculous right wing things that don't go anywhere. >> andrea: they pass 30 job bills reid won't bring to the floor. >> bob: because they're right wing job bills. excuse me for a second. when the bush tax cuts came in, i give bush credit for this 306789% of people were not paying tentions. when he left office, 42% weren't paying. that is good. >> greg: the less people pay the better it is. the takers -- >> bob: no, he understood that people lower income scale should not be taxed when there are people that have access to

their money and try to move up. >> dana: he did tax cuts across the board for everyone because he knew if you were a job creator and decide you want to add more people that you need certainty in the tax code. that is what he is trying to do. congress wouldn't make it permanent. now he is playing an extension game all along. what is quite unfortunate, last week we got the job number, everybody seemed bereft of ideas in washington, d.c. nothing more to decide to do than to raise $237 billion. on people they said two years ago were the job creators. that's the best we've got? >> bob: somebody has to -- >> dana: well, why did -- [ overtalk ] >> greg: i feel like serve getting trickled down on. >> eric: you listen to rush limbaugh. he had a great comment on this. take a listen. >> folk, we used to live in a country where people wanted to be successful. today, we live in a country where people want to receive a government check.

wanting to be successful, wanting to be a millionaire is said to be greedy and selfish. what is more greedy and selfish than living off of other people? >> andrea: who doesn't want to be rich? that has always been the american dream. if you keep giving people things, like i know you rail on greece, people take it. that is how he is hoping to get re-elected. >> bob: there is not a single program he is talking about that had to do with obama. not one. social security, medicare -- >> andrea: what did obama do? entitle. crunch that no one wants to talk about, including barack obama, except maybe paul ryan an congressional republicans, he is endorsing. >> bob: automatic increases, it just does. you can't argue that is barack obama giving the money out. the programs that were there before he was there. >> eric: president obama has exploded the redistribution of wealth under his power. >> bob: name a single tax. because we have been in a recession and people have been

out of work. >> dana: stimulus bill is a greatest example. of the money, you said $237 billion. >> eric: 273. >> dana: 273. a fifth of that was blown on solyndra. one thing to raise taxes but pay for what? what changes are we getting? you might be willing to pay more if your government would be more responsible with your money. until that point, until you have certainty, you are not creating the jobs or be willing to give the government more. >> bob: third of stimulus package was tax cut to small businesses. >> greg: yea, they are giving money back that was ours. this is a point. i do have a small business. if you like i'll show it to you later. back at my apartment. you'll be sedated and wake up and you won't know where you are. [ laughter ] >> bob: have handcuffs on. >> greg: mitt romney has to spell out the difference. do you see the average american as an achiever or an

atm? that is the question. that is the beauty of the argument. >> eric: listen to allen west. he sums it up nicely. >> bob: here we go. >> as we said, just this past month, the 85,000 went on social security disability as opposed to 80,000 job creasateed. we are creating a sense of economic dependence to me that is a form of modern 21st century slavery. >> eric: well said. >> bob: shut up. just shut up you blow-hard. that is one of the most obscene comments, even for you that is obscene, west. why do you say that? they went on disability because they were hurt. what about you? you shoot your mouth off that hurts a lot of people. >> andrea: i think we have a visual graphic that sums up the contrast between mr. bob beckel and colonel allen west. very different, very different individuals. can we see it?

>> mr. romney is responsible for the proposals that he is putting forward for how he says he is going to fix the economy. >> this is the most secretive candidate we've seen since frankly richard nixon. >> governor romney's experience is companies that were called pioneers of outsourcing. >> andrea: bob beckel and that wasn't allen west. >> greg: the great thing about allen west. he is having fun tweaking the left with the same language that the left used for decades. >> bob: you think that is a tweak? >> greg: you are no different than allen west. you have said thing far worse than he has. on this show! on this show! [ overtalk ] >> bob: you apologize for this. >> greg: i don't have to apologize for anything. i like it. >> eric: i assume he means that once you are on the public dollars it's difficult to get off. >> andrea: we have it now.

everybody -- voila, here they are. >> bob: i tell you what, more intelligence in that head band that i have on than the guy to the right. >> greg: he's a war hero. >> bob: he's a war hero! >> greg: he is. >> eric: coming up, romney raises a few bucks and the liberal media drags him through the mud by his thumbs. are they conveniently forgetting how much dough obama pals like george clooney and sarah jessica park ver. and greg gutfeld on deck. ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ >> greg: welcome back. "washington post," michael moynahan looks at the media taken to presidential backers and finds it's not fior and balanced. the media made sure we knew how rich the hampton fundraiser were, zeroing in on it. they drove cars.

probably made of fabrege eggs and kittens. they listed the mercedes, bentley and candy red ferrari spider. the "l.a. times" added range rovers, roadsters and bmws and a cherry red ferrari. mind you, the times ceo janet robinson got a $24 million severance. i bet she won't spend it on a moped. but the coverage isn't the same when obama attends the star-studded fundraisers. here is why. political reporters are starry-eyed school girls whose hearts flutter in the presence of cokeed up therapy driven chuckle bags who thinks wearing a ribbon makes them look smart. if a star says earth good, people bad, they get a gold star from the a.p. rich republicans are easy targets because they're rich. the media envies that. the rich on the left gets a

pass. the media doesn't envy them. they just want to be like them. i get it. dan sash like that around me. poor thing. poor you. do you think they are biased toward republicans or just gaga eyed over celebritys? >> andrea: both. i don't think it's mutually exclusive. it's not about them being rich. it's connected versus the not connected, right? it's not especially political belief. as you point out, look at the fundraisers they had sarah jessica parker, from "sex in the city." the townhouse is over $20 million. the money, the martha vineyard vacation they take. the $500 sneakers michelle obama wears. trip to spain. hypocrisy at the highest level. the media lets it go time and again. >> bob: what do you think of the person -- i don't know if they quote it to, but quoted one to romney. she said i don't think the common person is getting it. >> dana: i would love to go

to one of those. if you were a fly on the wall. then you'd hear -- >> bob: maybe the common people don't get what you get, which is a lot of free stuff from your rich old man. if you leave that aside, the koch brothers made their number trading arm -- made their money trading arms illegally with the iranian. >> andrea: you bang on the bankers. obama got the most money from j.p. morgan, the big banking industry? why don't you get in that? >> eric: i got another e-mail from barack obama. thank you, sir. appreciate it. eric, we are getting outraised. i'll be the first sitting president if this continues not just the super pac, but the outside group. guess what, president? we find out today in the "wall street journal" $4 billion, $4.4 billion coming from the union. you're not getting out raised. super pacs aren't outraising you on the republican side. you are beating the door off everybody. >> bob: koch brothers -- >> greg: that is all you

have. >> bob: i don't. i have karl rove. he has a super-pac. >> greg: i want to move on and go to denise rich. big liberal and big supporter of bill clinton. is leaving the united states, now senior citizenship can save tens of millions of dollars. she is going to austria. they have wallabies and kangaroos. it might be wrong. isn't it great you see a big liberal that favors taxes for everybody. >> dana: a trip down memory lane. her husband got a pardon from clin top after she agreed to pay for the big expansion of the library. so she benefited from america in the most amazing way. now is leaving. >> eric: there is a man who did trade irainiance illegally and that's why he was in switzerland because he was told never to come back. he made $1 billion -- >> bob: we did a segment on the show three weeks ago talking about republicans --

>> andrea: it's obama who is paying more taxes is patriotic, right? obama says paying more taxes is patriotic. 1800 people denounced citizenship. >> bob: i can't say anything about rich because i have a conflict of interest. >> greg: what did you sleep with her? >> bob: that is a very -- >> greg: i want to raise a point to you. >> bob: i can't believe you said that. >> greg: it's what happens between the breaks. about the guy from facebook. we talked about him and you called him a traitor. >> bob: i did. this is being a traitor. absolutely. i can't be with her anyway so it doesn't matter. >> andrea: that is what it is about? >> bob: no. i think anyone who denounces the citizenship to dodge taxes -- >> eric: there is an exit tax. if you want to do it -- >> bob: does romney pay taxes on the swiss bank

account? >> dana: he pays the same as debbie waserman schultz pays on her. >> greg: "vanity fair" spent 4,000 words to figure out what he did and realized he didn't break laws. >> bob: he won't tell anybody. he is having a fundraiser in salt lake city. big one. >> greg: he's as transparent as the transparent president. >> andrea: who cares? >> greg: coming up, the o'reilly factor -- bob! result of the o'reilly factor investigation of what americans know about history. a sneak peek. >> who did we declare independence from? >> i don't know. >> do you know? >> [bleep] >> from the king. not midas. i don't have the slightest. >> greg: our take on that next on "the five." leave now and andrea will shoot a cat. ♪ ♪ ps

♪ ♪ >> dana: all right. welcome back to "the five." our own fox news jesse waters had a birthday and worked for o'reilly factor. he gets the worst assignments at fox. got to go to jones beach and ask people what they knew about independence day. take a look. >> who did we declare independence from? >> i don't know. >> patrick henry, do you know anything about him? >> no. no, i really don't. >> give me liberty or give me -- >> give me -- >> i don't know. >> death. so who did we declare independence from? >> do you know? >> who is your favorite founding father? >> george washington. >> george washington. >> what is a founding father?

>> do you know who sam adams was? >> what does sam adams mean to you? >> beer. >> sam adams, a lot of people. >> dana: today we wake up and there is a story in "usa today" that talkings about school being too easy. kids say they think it's too easy. a complaint you don't often hear make. >> bob: they didn't mention that was a meeting of the young republicans at the beach. the idea that people -- look at those kids. school is too easy? there are factories to put people through. >> dana: do you think it happens for those folks who might not remember being out in the sun too long? >> andrea: i think -- that is possible. a lot of those that had -- and jesse waters is a port rate to gut through the bikini-clad interview.

>> dana: he has an eye, jesse. >> andrea: he picks the cute evening one. i think school is easy. 37% of the study that you cited said math was too easy. that would have never been me saying that. the other subjects i can see unless you are in an honors or of a gifted program. i think education starts at home. i think there are so many great teachers out there. we talk about it all the time. unless education, there is a value put on it at home, with the parents. it's hard to feel pressure who the founding fathers are. curriculum is rewritten every day. >> dana: 57% of eighth graders said their history work is often -- i most people love history class. >> eric: i had an eighth grader graduate or elevate this year. he didn't do a lot of homework. got straight a's but said we're spending too much on education -- by the way, the numbers we put out. the number of teachers and

employees doubled and enrollment is only up 8% and scores are going down. so we're spending more money and putting more teachers in classroom and producing -- >> dana: well, let me ask greg. you as an editor, when you get resumes from people, younger people, one thing they say is 39% of 19th graders, seniors in high school say they rarely write about what they read in class. is that your experience? >> greg: i wish i had a memory of that. i have no memory of the past ten or 19 years for obvious reasons. here is what you saw on the beach. you saw people who didn't have any historical knowledge. because we're not teaching them history. we're teaching them i don't know, the history of victimization. we're not telling them about the classical, they call themselves that we learned when we were kids. you shouldn't talk, dana. >> dana: i know. >> bob: talk about victi victimization? >> greg: let me finish. >> bob: sorry. >> dana: he is going to make

fun of me. >> greg: it's not worth it anymore. >> dana: we know what we are talking about. >> bob: sorry to ruin it. make a point. 30 kids per class, average in the public school system. there are kids who are smart and kids that are dumb. they dumb down curriculum to get everybody through. >> dana: why did everybody complain about the tests being more rig louse under "no child lef --rigorous with "no child lt behind"? >> bob: standardized testing doesn't get to the heart of what we talk about here, which is at home. they don't read. they are not given -- >> andrea: you and i and everyone at the table had this discussion before. we agree on school choice. if there are kids excelling give them the opportunity to go to a school where they can do that. why president obama hasn't supported it, i don't know. >> dana: we have to run. coming up on "the five," next time you get on a plane you might find yourself sitting next to a pig or a horse. but first, pigs of a different kind.

how messy people may be ruining their relationship. that's next on "the five." ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] if you had a dollar for every dollar car insurance companies say they'll save yoby switching, you'd have like, a ton of dollars. but how are they saving you those dollars? a lot of companies might answer "um" or, "no comment." then there's esurance. born online, raised by technology, and majors in efficiency. so whatever they save, you save. hassle, time, paperwork, hair-tearing-out, and yes, especially dollars. esurance. insurance for the modern world. click or call.

♪ ♪ >> andrea: welcome back to "the five." a lot of things can ruin relationships. i'm sure bob beckel could write a book about it. money problems or an affair or even clutter. believe it or not, messy households could be making for a lot of unhappy spouses. greg, you are married. do you and your wife have fights over cluter in the house? are you both neat? you told me a story that you have piles of clothes

everywhere when she goes away. >> greg: she gets mad that i leave assorted leather garments around but i get upset about the clear jars filled with ears she keeps on the kitchen sink i find disgusting. >> andrea: dana, i imagine that you are very neat. >> bob: can you imagine. gosh, i have been waiting for this. go ahead. >> dana: if i have a clear counter, a clear mind for me. >> greg: that could be a bumper sticker. >> dana: it could be. or a book. maybe i could write a book. i saw the story in the "wall street journal" this morning, i thought she picked up on something that everybody goes through. now that we moved to new york. and there is not a separate home office. home office is the kitchen counter. the island. so there is a lot of deep breathing that has to go on when the papers start piling high. >> andrea: are you a pileer, filer? >> eric: filer. my wife is neat.

she puts it away neatly, but saves stuff. >> andrea: hoarder. >> eric: not messy. i'm throw it away. >> bob: dana's husband is one of the sweetest men in the world. peter. imagine what it must be like with her if he cluttered something. poor guy, man. >> andrea: doesn't it feel good to get rid of stuff. not the purging you do, greg. >> bob: my wife, my ex-wife, i should say, i had the best collection of original x-rated movies there ever was and she threw away the original "debbie does dallas" worth $200 now. >> andrea: did you go to the dumpster to find it? >> bob: i was a bachelor before that. she kept stuff around i can't get into. sick, too. >> andrea: so then there is the junk clutter, the hoarders with people with the pizza boxes and things like that. then there is emotional

clutter. how about pictures of ex-girlfriend, anything like that? get rid of that or not? crickets. crickets. crickets. >> dana: the only stuff i have kept has been the toys that my dog henry passed away in march. it kept his toys and pictures. other than, that i throw everything away. i move so much. what? >> bob: i have picture that i'm visitin visiting with out ai put the wrong one was. >> greg: it's usually an ad from "village voice." >> andrea: you were the editor of a men's magazine. >> greg: there is certain kind of clutter. clut they're is admirable. if you have books. books look good. comic books, ah. one thing i didn't understand, people who save empty wine or beer cans.

it makes me -- >> bob: how about "people" magazine. doctor's offices. 1986. ridiculous. >> dana: if obamacare goes in place, they can't afford them. >> andrea: i can't get rid of clothes for some reason. >> bob: i bet you can't. my former wife, when it called for -- [ inaudible ] things had price tag on. she is a great woman. >> andrea: you speak so highly of her. coming up, before bob gets in trouble, you know the phrase "when pigs fly --" now they can. bob will explain when we come back. ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ >> bob: have you flown with

pigs? never mind. i'm not going to get in to that. the department of transportation issued a set of rules that -- catch this, now. i understand before anybody starts to write me letters and i know this is for people who are disabled. but they are going to allow pigs, miniature horses and monkeys on the plane. under the rules if you need your pig with you, you have to vacate your seat. the third person has to sit next to a pig. i may be use to that but the rest of you are not. here is the question. if the airlines could just -- they have helpers on board. like seeing eye pigs or whatever they are, they don't need to be there. what do delay do with miniature horses besides giving greg something to jockey on? >> eric: not only that. the horses and the pigs are allows to walk up and down the aisle.

i can't use my cell phone or play a game but horse can walk by. >> dana: you to provide a letter promising that the service animal won't need to use the facility on the plane. >> andrea: yes. think about this. how do you get assurance from your pig or monkey they are not going to go to the bathroom on the plane? they also say that if there is not enough leg room for the miniature horse, ask the person next to you if they will share and give up the leg room, which is tight for someone's miniature horse. it called my brother who is a pilot and he can't believe this. what if a pilot wanted to bring a pig or monkey to the cockpit, how about that? >> bob: they don't allow rat, make or spiders. >> eric: or ferrets. >> greg: my service animal is captain sparkles, the ferret. makes me happy in so many ways i can't get into. this is fantastic, because it

turns a normal flight to a petting zoo. kids can be engaged. >> bob: you can do that without the animals. >> dana: you never know who you meet on a plane. >> greg: true. true love. a pig. >> dana: on a flight one time and woman got on behind me. we were going to florida. actually, no, we were going to atlanta. when you were in first class and i was in coach. >> bob: appropriately. >> dana: a woman got on and had a bird in a cage. she talked baby talk to it, the whole time. she is sitting behind me. i love animals but i wanted to strange the bird and her. >> bob: the poodle things, should be stuffed. >> andrea: we can't bring deodorant or perfume -- >> bob: but can bring a $2,000 dog. >> greg: i would like to bring a service person. scrappy eastern european masseuse. >> bob: there you go. >> eric: i am trying to figure out you are not allowed

to bring your own water bottle so what do you do with a monkey or horse for 18 hours? >> andrea: the airlines will have to hire people to actually attend to the animals, so they will be hay bails. >> dana: water bottle people -- you buy more water when you get through security. >> bob: it's a racket. monkey? monkeys, are the most disgusting -- we had one when i was in college and ripped up the entire apartment. i got to get off of this. we are approaching the first anniversary of "the five." all the loyal viewers we'll go back and show clips of the past shows. we'll do it now. >> bob. >> there are fewer federal employees today than when obama took office.

>> eric: not true. not a fact. >> bob: i'll bet you $10,000. >> eric: i bet you -- >> the lose ker take the other person's shirt the following day. is that a deal? are we betting? >> bob: yeah, we'll bet on that. >> andrea: you have results and it looks like you put out his outif it tomorrow. >> eric: there were additional employees last month than the first month that obama was in office. >> i get to pick out his shirt for tomorrow. >> what are you wearing? [ laughter ] >> what is that? it's eric's death wish is what it is. >> bob: i remember that. you made me wear the frilly shirt. puffy shirt. yeah. okay. >> eric: you wore a t-shirt underneath. you cheated. >> bob: i cheated. choose to go to the fans night at the met and wouldn't do any

of the chicken wing eating contest. but you saved my life again. would expect to a dunk tank. >> andrea: eric what had plenty of problems on the show. it's fair. >> bob: do you remember the silver one he had? that was the best. we got to get out of here now. actually, i won that bet. i didn't think it was bad. one more thing. ♪ ♪

>> eric: all right. time for one more thing. before we get to, we remind you tonight the 38rd major league all-star game. fox coverage at 7:30. fox broadcast 8:00 p.m. the game starts, joe buck, tim mccarver. >> andrea: i'm wearing a hat. >> eric: she has vowed not wear a hat. dana is wearing one and greg trying to get a hat. she did asked who was playing? one more thing. keep the hats on. bryce harper, 19 years old, the youngest non-pitcher ever to play in an all-star game. this is like the lebron james of baseball. making it happen. mormon a vowed never drink a

beer in his life. >> you'd like me to corrupt him or something? >> andrea: do something about it! >> dana: it's great. i'm impressed. /want to thank a fan. dan, look at my hair now. sent a letter. thinking about who she thought would be the best president. made bumper stickers, jasper for president. the truth is, things get closer to the election. everybody is putting bumper stickers on the car. greg gutfeld drives this car, around hell's kitchen in manhattan there. he is. [ laughter ] this is greg's choice for president. in 2012. >> eric: they are both good boys. [ laughter ] >> dana: well. cute, don't you think? >> greg: it's adorable. my one more thing is a banned phrase and it is it raises the question. for example, dana, has a

disgusting sniveling cold, which she is walking around all day sneezing leaving god knows what ever where. yet, she still comes to work and that raises the question, is she trying to kill us? actually, i raised that question. that is the point. it's you who raises the question. >> eric: why are you not wearing your hat? >> greg: i hate hockey. >> andrea: i was off last week. i missed you. we have "the five" fans. jersey mike loves "the five." he races home and watches "the five." he looks like the situation but better abs. i am wearing the hat. there is an elephant. the largeest in new jersey. the largest elephant, very republican in the world, 1880. it used to be a hotel. look, i am pointing -- that is where bob's room in the back. >> bob: dedicated by people

of italy. >> andrea: there are five rooms. there is also a street. >> greg: talking more about jasper. >> andrea: every time i had a couple of drinks i thought of you, greg. i have great chicken wings. i thought of kimmy. >> eric: coincidence -- >> greg: let's talk about jasper. >> eric: bob? >> bob: you know following up on mayor bloomberg to stop us from drinking big drinks. a new ad. i want you to see this. mayor bloomberg if you are listening -- >> this is new york city. mo one tells us what neighborhood to live in, what team to root for or what deli to eat at. don't tell a city who never sleeps it's bedtime. are we letting a mayor tell us

what size beverage to buy? where will it end? >> bob: mayor bloomberg, get out of our lives. >> dana: stuart varney is away and greg and i are on tonight together. >> eric: we have to go. that's it for "the five." tomorrow's show is our one like this week in baseball if by baseball you mean john gibson's hots dog. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> i will stay with you until my seeds are dried up. and a new survey saying schools are too easy. and you won't believe how a group is making creative use of chicago's gun buy back

program. and finally, a muslim and a christian walk into a hotel room, and it turns out they agree about porn. greg? >> thanks, andy. >> you bet, greg. >> that's it? >> i have nothing, man. >> nothing? >> not a thing. all i'm thinking about, "dark knight" next week. don't care about anything else including your stupid show. >> well, at least are you honest. >> yes, i am, sir. >> go away. let's welcome our guest. she is so hot that baseball coaches now tell pitchers to bring the brooke goldstein. i am here with brooke goldstein. that was a clever swing there. founder of the children rights institute, totally made up, and the director of the law fare project. her latest book is called law fare, the war against free speech. it is a real knee slapper. and he is funnier than a mime stuffed in a clown stuffed in a ven trillion law qis and covered in bloods. and he wreaks of failure and hot pockets. it is bill schulz. and in