>> greg: weather monster! weathe welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld. i am in for chip who is busy looking for the handcuff key. never hide it in a place you can't remove on your own. andy, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> in a new video from the creator of the hbo series "girls" voting for president obama is equal to losing your virginity. outrageous? perhaps. not outrageous? perhaps. wait until you think it is for teens who feel misunderstood. you probably heard already. and finally we have part two of bill schulz's report of the third party presidential debate. can you guess which of the candidates put a javolin through bill's head and ate

his brain matter? stay tuned to find out. >> we will have to wait to find out. >> as you know, the bus inside , it can get a little sweaty and stressful. going from florida, alabama, georgia, tennessee i think. so we decided to install a sauna in the bus. i believe we have tape of my crew enjoying it for the first time. >> he is actually the driver as well. >> he is looking good. >> he has lost a few pounds. >> the sauna will do that. >> that's for sure. all righty then. is there anything else you want to talk about? >> no, i don't.

i want you to go away. >> let's welcome our guest. she is so hot that campers gather around her to tell ghost stories. i am here with remi spencer. and he is so bright commissioner gordon uses him to summon batman. he is reason magazine's editor-in-chief matt welch. in iowa he is considered a tooth pick. it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if the nfl was a lottery winning i would blow him on a do lore yen. a block, the lede, that's the first story. >> that it is, graphic element. that it is. her first time was saw bliem. they made a campaign ad for obama, the president, aimed at young female voters. she is the creator and star of hbo's "girls" which i watch

now and again. who just signed a book deal for about $3.5 million. let's roll the tape as i reach for my outrage glasses. >> your first time shouldn't be with just anybody. you want to do it with a great guy. it should be with a guy with beautiful -- somebody who really cares about and understands women. a guy who cares whether you get health insurance and specifically whether you get birth control. the consequences are huge. you want to do it with a guy who brought the troops out of iraq. not at the library and not planning the lily ledbetter act or gay people should not have beautiful weddings like the ones on bravo or tlc. it is fun to say who are you voting for and they say i don't want to tell you. think about how you want to spend four years. in college age time, it is 150 years. it is super uncool to be out and about and they say did you vote and you say no, i wasn't ready. the first time i voted it was amazing. before i was a girl.

now i am a woman. i went to the polling station and pulled back the curtain. i voted for barack obama. >> supposed to keep reading. somehow i lost the will to live. i guess this is what is called clinical depression. i don'ti didn't know it came on that quickly. speaking of first times, i remember mine. >> love them and leave them. that's how i was when i was out there i was whatever that was. is that a possum? >> i believe that was a mier cat. >> a prairie dog. >> tom, you e-mailed me when

you saw this ad and you said i love this ad. you had it in all caps. >> i did love it. i couldn't believe it. i thought it was a joke when i first saw it. i watched it again, and i saw the obama thing at the end and i said this can't be his campaign that is putting this out there. i researched it, and i was surprised. but i think this is -- it does give you a sick feeling in your stomach to watch. i would think no matter what political persuasion, you would be turned off by this. it is gross. then i thought, this is the perfect ad. it was the most honest obama ad. it perfectly describes the young people's relationship to obama. they say it is a metaphor for sex, but it is not. it is a metaphor for bragging for sex. she talks about sex as if it is a thing you want to talk about at parties for people. that's the way obama s. they don't want him to run the country. they just want to say they voted for him.

>> that's an insicive remark. and i am not used to that coming from you. remi, are you a woman, i think. do you find this ad offensive, inoffensive, or would you like to express some kind of outrage as people would like you to? >> i am outraged. does that satisfy you? >> i think you were faking it which falls in line with this idea. >> i am not offended. i do find it to be a stupid ad. it is disappointing. >> it is geared at people like you. , young, single women. >> this is what i will say, it is disappointing that president obama is putting out an ad like this. it seems such a dumbing down of the messages. we should be elevating the discourse. i don't think you can compare your first vote to your first time. it is also disappointing because the way she describes a woman's first time having sex is probably not the way most women have sex the first time. >> do tell.

>> please be clearer on that. you need specifics to back up your point. >> instead of elevating discourse he den gnaw grated intercourse. >> nicely done. >> that will be on my hallmark card for politician birthdays. that went no where. matt, always a pleasure having you here. let's move on to bill. no, kidding. do you predict this ad will get college kids, young women, out to the polls, or will it have no affect whatsoever? >> it is going to have no affect. i think it serves as a public service announcement to everybody that when you develop these kind of unhealthy crushes on politicians, that later on you will get for gnaw indicated. there is something unseemly and unhuman about treating politicians as they can solve all of these things in your life and tickle your thighs or

whatnot. >> i agree with you. left or right, any hero worship is gross, but what is gross about this one, and it is not gross, but these people are supposed to be williamsburg hipsters who are acting as propagandas. it is like, you are supposed to be the people that hate leaders. you are supposed to hate politicians. >> have you read 90 reasons in 90 days? >> they are all apologists. bill, as a virgin, does this ad bother you, or does it encourage you to hit the polls this year? >> it makes me happy that i am still a virgin. >> that is an explanation and she doesn't get it. i have seen every episode. the reason people watch girls, i found not one person to go against it.

the reason people watch that show is to hate you. they watch every single character. you must have learned it in your lame film class. that's what people do. they watch to be glad that they weren't you at that age. second of all, i can't imagine why any of the obama administration would think that tatoo potato with its soft speaking style would attract any voter. >> i am going for romney now. >> bill, calling her a potato. >> i just meant because she is irish. >> i have seen every episode of "girls." i just like watching brian williams' daughter. >> she is as attractive as brian williams. >> every star of "girls" is the off spring of somebody famous. >> just like in real life.

>> i like it when brian williams' daughter had sex with dudes in bathrooms. >> she does some awkward -- she has some awkward activities. 24r* is the one time she is having sex with her boyfriend and she is like not having a good time and then she pleasures herself. that's the only reason really to watch google search people. jay 18 and over. >> you know what is so sad about this ad? four years ago young people were making their own videos. and now obama is trying to commission them. >> that's an excellent point. >> we were giving them a little guff, a word we don't use often enough these days, but the naked cowboy and meat loaf endorsed mitt romney. the naked cowboy. >> that's something we would make fun of if he was endorsing obama.

>> i would never make fun of the naked cowboy because i see him every day and he would beat me up. it is the cuteness that is so prevalent. you are all doing the baby talk. you are going to never get a man. if you do that, that is awful. stop it. >> maybe she is an independent feminist who doesn't need -- a man is like a bicycle for a fish as the saying went. >> i completely destroyed that cliche. >> should we take hombrage with those and our conch.

who ever -- and our conch. election day is almost here. and the americans are urged to vote and publicly shamed if they don't. but is it a sacred right or the folks that are too tight? i envy them. former "red eye" guest notes, it is considered universally acceptable to demand our neighbors get informed. less acceptable are those who ought not to vote. they wonder if there is an obligation to study the candidates. there are limited hours in the day she says, and for many of us very limited hours not claimed by work and familial observation. maybe you would rather be rereading mow -- moby dick. not for me. i would rather be doing this.

should everyone vote or just smart people like me? >> do what ever you want. that's the whole poi tbh t. if what you want is to not vote and read the right books and go on weird tiny buses -- >> the joy of hate would be a start. the joy of hate has been considered the mow be dick -- the mobey dick of its era. >> no one would besmirch such a title of the. >> we had a cover story that carrie mentions in herpes. your vote doesn't count. well, of course, but i don't find their arguments persuasive. i like to vote and i like to put the stupid sticker on my wallet.

>> and what an inspiration for those who don't have the right to vote. you tell me the only people who should vote are white people. >> are you kidding me? how is she on the show? >> i don't know. the thing is i don't book these people. how she slips through -- >> are you a hate monger. >> oh. we will get behind that. >> i don't even talk to you in the green room. i don't know what he is talking about. >> how do you feel about this? >> i am going to sound old fashion. i think it is an obligation. i really do. i think it is such a privilege to have this opportunity to vote , and i know you said our vote doesn't count and i am well averse in the electoral college. but it does count and i think we will see some changes in the next decade maybe about

how our electorat works. >> i hate the electoral college. i don't know why it is called college. there are no cute under grad wets. >> do you believe voting is is -- if voting is a civic duty, why can't we be allowed to vote more than once. >> that would be wonderful. getting everybody registered, no. i don't even think we should have early voting. absentee voting only for like military, but people should have to get up off their pants and walk to the polling place. >> off their pants? >> they have to get off the seat of their pants. >> so they are just wearing shirts. >> they should go down to the voting booth. people should have to put some effort into it. >> that's an emotional poll tax. >> i agree with that.

you are a racist. >> i agree with the -- only motivated people. only people who care should vote. and another thing i think they should have mentioned in this article and they didn't was this idea of like i don't vote the party. i vote the candidate. stop that. stop voting for the individual. since when did an individual do anything for you ever? just blindly write r or d. just check the box. that's what i do. i am not a republican. i don't care who it is. the judges r, r, r. i don't look at the name. you pick the party that least defends. >> and to be clear you do this while only wearing a shirt. >> i don't know how you are allowed in there. i frown on this. >> you don't pay attention to the candidates. should everybody stop paying attention and do what tom does? >> no. e is that's a difference of opinion.

when they quoted alicia keys her direct quote was if we don't all vote we could burn as a society. that's a good example. she should get her voting pass taken away. >> i think we should vote for one reason and one reason only and that's to can sell out somebody else's vote. if we don't go to the voting both on tuesday which is a couple months from now that means matt damon's vote counted. when i go there i say this is for you matt damon and that means matt damon, your vote didn't counts. i can't remember. i get those two confused. >> before we go to break, they may remember my stunted half brother guner. i used to talk to him a lot. >> whose hands are those at the beginning of the half time report? they look small and powerful.

they belong to my stunted brother who lives in a shoe box. every now and then i let him out for a little r and r. everything is fine until he tries to scrawl "please kill me." i thought i would bring little guner here. can you see him waiving? >> helped me backward without seeing from the box there. i am going to l.a. this weekend and i left him an extra wad of tissue paper socked in mayonase which is actually his favorite thing. >> it has been awhile since guner has appeared on "red eye." he is doing great. i gave him his weekly meal.

>> that was worth the whole set up. i am not even going to tell you where that footage came from. coming up should you date a client? remi spencer discusses her new book. he promised that would be his last, arson. first if you are popular in high school does that mean you will be successful later in life?

do they read atlas that you vug -- shrugs because they want hugs? they say it is something teens read when they are feeling misunderstood. in a cringe worthy interview the president was asked if he

had ever read any of the other books. she is known for her 10,000-page atlas shrug that lays out her till loss fee. it holds that man's highest purpose is his happiness. the press said he had lead the interviewer to ask, what do you think paul ryan's obsession with her work would mean? totally not a loaded question. it is one of those things when we were 17 and 18 and feeling misunderstood we pick up. we realize a world in which we are only thinking of ourselves and not anybody else, that's a narrow vision in kenya. all of this raises questions.

>> how do they not rule the world just by their cuteness? i don't understand. >> ya, you don't understand, if you don't give them the right ball, they kill you. >> that should be in every household. there would be no wars if everybody had them. >> look at them. there has to be something disgusting they do. they are fleaing their feces at any given moment when you are asleep. >> and it is the one thing they do fast. matt, "reason magazine" and

you put it on the cover in 2009, i believe. what do you make of this? do you think the president knows anything? >> probably not judging the way he talks about it. anyone who doesn't like irand and i got to page 79 once. i picked it up as a teenager and it didn't work at all for me because i guess the writing. >> same thing with hepititis with bill. >> people who like to criticize it like to say oh it is all to myself. they don't care about any other people. and people should starve in the gutter. you are your own boss. you are the boss of yourself. and the government has no claim to you. it is a radical, individualist thing. it is a slap in the face. this is a different way of looking in the world. it is not about saying you hate all of your fellow men.

>> i am guessing the books make you feel better about yourself after you have got a violent felon acquitted. >> i don't know what i would do without that atlas shrug. >> i think you describe it pretty well. people who don't either accept or have any background or education take a narrow view of the philosophies. i think the president's description in the article indicates that whether he doesn't understand it or he was trying to spin it to make another dig at mitt romney and paul ryan, i can't say. but it certainly was easy to transition for him. i don't think you can say those things. for me when i was growing up, it was about accountability. it was about consequences, good and bad. you create them for yourself. >> enough. tom?

>> trying to catch it with my left happened. if you replace, tom, irand, it is an adolescent fantasy. >> that's the thing. he says the opposite of what reality is. when they are 17 and 18 they start reading howard zin and they read chompsky and they are fascinated by it. then when they are 26 and their lousy boyfriend dumps them and he will never earn a living he is like, wow, this isn't bad. >> that's a good face you just made. i don't believe president obama read it. maybe to find his way out of kenya. >> what? >> i don't know. >> no, get the camera back on. >> that's not what he should have said.

high should have said ryan's obsession makes zero sense. this is a guy that will throw his catholicism in your face any chance he can. always a wonderful trait in my book and objectivism and religion are incombattable. i don't know how you could be one and the other. irand is a famous atheist. she looks at it as a fool's hobby. she said it is the worst curse of mankind. i don't understand how the people may not necessarily trust, but get a candidate like him who says this and believes that. it doesn't make any sense. >> it is a fair point. we will touch on it later. >> all right. do you have a comment on the show? e male us. e-mail us. if you have a video of us? go to fox news.com/red eye and click on submit a video. andy levy is slow.

>> tonight's half time report is sponsored by peanut butter. the oily paste that is spread on bread or used in cooking. thanks, peanut butter.

let's find out if we got anything wrong so far. let's go to andy levy. >> no time for banter. why does this video give you a sick feeling in your stomach? >> because it -- i don't know

why it does. i watched it over and over again. perhaps it is the tatoo. something about the half tank top. she looked like a german shot putter or something. >> i think she is quite adorable. >> do you? >> i think she is attractive. >> something about that in the video though. >> i think she is funny and smart. i just think this video was neither. it just didn't work. >> by the way, tom, i would like to see you pull off a half shirt and tatoo. i think you would be disgusting. >> you would mull it over. >> you know what, i want to see you wear that the next time you are on the show. >> remy -- remi, you said it is disappointing that president obama would put out an ad like this. i want to be clear, you are disappointed because it lowers the discourse or whatever. so you are disappointed that the guy who spent the last month going on "the view,"" letterman" and leno would

lower the discourse? >> no. i am not surprised, but i don't want my president on "the view" on jay leno. i don't want an ad like this from the white house. i think it is dissaw pointing. it should be a more -- this is the most disappointing election in my lifetime i can remember. >> at least it is the last one and probably until the next one. >> they are lowering everything. they toning everything down. >> i like it when they lower stuff. it is easier to get things. >> shelfing is painful. >> you brought up the hero worshiping of politicians. the weirdest line in the video was when she said she wants her first time to be with the guy who drone kills the crap out of a bunch of brown people. >> and the rolling stone interview they were talking about, if you go back and listen to the interview from 2008 obama is like, we will shape the paradigm of the drug war. it is funny to watch these same class of people give him

a pass. >> absolutely. bill, you said people watch "girls" to hate the characters. >> i didn't like the show because i hated the characters, but then i was more nuanced and then i started liking the show. >> you are the first person i heard say that. >> greg agrees with me. >> i hate it at the beginning. out of the i don't know how many episodes, but i enjoyed 35% of it. you know what bothered me? it was self-consciously hip. i thought as the season went on -- i don't know if -- it was less that and a little more realish. >> i liked the story line with the older guy trying to hookup with the nanny. he shows up at the club and ends up in the hospital. that was funny. >> i love that all of the men in the room have seen the

show. i have never watched a moment of it. >> that's because you are too busy dating felons. >> and i bet they can talk equally as knowledgeable about "sex and the city." >> i can't. the other two i think can. >> don't bring me into this. >> prequel coming out. getting in line. >> election day is not this saturday though i really, really wish it were. >> planned my whole day around it. >> when you say the joy of hate is the moby duck of its era does it mean people won't read it 1234*. >> i believe it will be used as a classic textbook in english classes for years to come. >> really? remi, why should i vote for president? >> why? because people have died and fought and killed for your right to do so. 2* doesn't matter who you choose. you hope the voters are informed. >> what if i don't like any of

them? why should i vote for one of them? >> i don't think most people are voting for the person they really want in the office. it is somebody they can relate to for the most part. no candidate is perfect. >> i can't depend on them for the littlest part. not voting isn't doing anything. not voting isn't going to change the process. >> if you choose not to decide you will have made a choice. >> you should move out of this country. >> did you quote rush? >> i sure as hell did. >> if there was more of a diversity of the voting population, and if more people voted it would change the entire landscape of the election. >> no it it wouldn't. >> no because that changes my package.

that's a tv term, awed -- audience. get your minds out of the gutter. >> tom, you said you should pick the party that least offends your will haves. that's a great rock the vote vote. pick the one that will least offend your, you know what i meant. >> i did not maybe. >> obama said they are covered the lourdes before. they are nontoxic. >> they could have then mom? >> they are so cute though. >> if you candy bark a dog you candy venom myself -- >> you can take their teeth out -- they aren dane erred. it is illegal to have them in most states of the some people have them, and they tend to dye young in captivity.

>> a small pace to pry. >> if i can get three years of joy -- it seems like 20 years because they are so slow. you get tired of them. it is like, throw it away. >> that's a misnomer. they are quick, but they are dumb. >> matt, explain to me -- and why do people love alice rug. >> i don't think i made it through the speech. i think it is a good book and makes the same points but is not 30040 thousand version. >> if you like her philosophy you will love the book. >> that's a nice way of saying it makes the same point on all of the pages. >> well, i have a lot more, but i am being told i have to go. so i am gone.

>> left in a huff. coming up, me going home and crying into my oxygen chamber. it has been is a long week. first, what did the recent third party debate for hart working americans like you and me? since bill schulz is covering it, we will never know. >> guests will receive a complementary hub cap and other prizes. other prizes are also hub caps.

should voters raise their voice when it comes to having more choice some don't know and don't care. but that didn't stop "red eye" from hitting chicago, an actual city on tuesday to cover the free and equal foundation's third party debate. what a party it was. actually don't quote me on that. i wasn't there. i didn't watch part one of

bill schulz's reporting. i am looking forward to napping through the sequel as well. i apologize in advance. >> welcome to the international ballroom. this is the where the magic will happen in two hours. as you can see it is opulent to say the least. which is great. four years ago this same debate happened at a best western off cicero. i guess most of the talking points were done at the breakfast nook. really the only people watching were the help. as far as the candidates i will go through the list and you give me a ya or nay. >> jill stein. >> yay. >> rocky anderson. easy to please. >> nay. >> not a fan of rocky. what about rocky 2. that wasn't so bad. >> i would say yay. >> is america ready for a president with the name of rocky? >> absolutely. he is ready over these democratic caned dealts --

candidates who have taken our nation in such a wrong direction. >> they are the clubber lane. >> a i am told you are sake and b will it prevent you from partying afterwards. >> you might not want to party with me. >> well, we all get sick, right? >> is there anything i can do? >> can you do anything about the puffy lip? >> i like it. it is lauren hutton. >> it is collagen, right? >> you look very angelina jolie. >> can i ask you some questions about what to do in town? >> well, what kind of things do you like to do? >> bondage, discipline. i love "little people" can you help me out? >> i know in the southwest there is a midget bar.

>> may name is chris and m why why -- polling started all things larry king. >> mostly that he lives. >> i don't know where he will put larry cifng. i assume -- larry king. i assume it is not this platform. >> and i came i heard you were there. >> what is my name? >> greg gutfeld. >> are you more concerned about the lack of air conditioning or larry king tonight? >> i am not concerned about either. i have fans in the qar. car. i will wile see if my wife will get them and we will put out some votes. >> you look lovely. >> i wasn't fishing, but i uh appreciate it. >> you were arrested by trying to get into the hopster debate. what was the first part of being a hot woman who was

arrested. i assume a couple bad things. >> the worst part about being arrested whether you are -- no matter the kind of person. >> which side are you on the republican party? >> several things. >> excuse me guys. no media on the stage. >> thng she was talking to me. they want me on stage. >> larry, will you be taking any callers? >> no. >> the debate is at an end. if we learned anything the two-party system sucks. what about a two and a half party system. you have two candidates and one kid candidate. it makes for a great sitcom. lots of belly laughs. >> bill, tough question. which candidate hated you the most? >> easily jill stein.

at least vier jill had a handler come up to him and say oh i don't want to talk to this creature anymore. jill said i need to go over there. that was it. she didn't have a excuse. she just went on her merry way. i was a big fan of rocky. he was a sweet guy. it was fun. >> what did larry king smell like? >> he smelled like daisies. dried old daisies. he has an interesting gate. >> he does. >> he moves like a panther. >> he is very quit. very quick. he died 30 years ago. >> what? >> he drinks blood. >> for us it is integ imral to sis survival. i guess we should take a break. >> i guess. more stuff when woman

dabbing.

last topic of the night a new study claims that students who were popular in high school earned later more in life. i suppose that means money. the piece published by the

national bureau of economic research suggests people popular in high school would have a 10% wage difference 40 years after graduation over the unpopular nerd trolls. remi, you had to have been popular in high school, right? >> it was the first nice thing you said. you are wrong by the way. >> were you persecuted? >> no, but i was a loner. >> i feel bad for that. >> i was friendly with anybody, but i didn't have real friends. >> how sad. >> don't feel bad. i don't agree with that study. i feel my experiences in high school are what made me stronger. >> enough. >> oh my goodness. clearly you were not a popular kid in high school. >> tom, i am certain you didn't go to high school. >> i had a great time. >> good for you.

>> this study is wrong. they dude deed a 40-year period. tre are looking at high school long times ago. they don't take into account "my bodyguard" changed everything. >> adam baldwin? say hello. >> ever since that film it has been cool to be a nerd. do the study and they will be successful. >> matt, what's your take on this? >> everybody in new york and los angeles who was moderately successful claims they were percent executed in hole and they were not beaten within an inch of their life. you when you get in big trouble you say you were dyslexic. >> that's what i do and my clothes are on on backwards. bill, you were poor and

unpopular then and i was popular. >> first in gym class. the locker room weighings was a little word. my mom was my teacher. >> i want to know if you were popular in high school, greg? >> of course he was. >> i guess i was. >> yes, he was. no. yes, no, yes. >> i ruled the school! >> we will close things out with a post game wrap up with andy levy.

back to tv's andy levy for the post dwaim wrap up. >> thanks. are you going to disclose who you are voting for? >> we did this this week. for the third time in the last three elections. we are the only music or magazine outlet that does it. go out and make fun of us.

>> my big backyard made an endorsement. >> who did your big backyard endorse? >> my big backyard magazine. i am not telling you. you have to look for it. >> what is 12 comedy albums in 12 months. >> 12 full comedy albums. the first launches on november 6th. you can see them. they are all digital and will sell for $1.99. one a month for a bhol year. whole year. >> thanks. good idea. >> remi, do you have a trip? >> yes. i am get august way from this crazy crew. i will come back with a sun tan. >> and probably something else too. he is on fire. maybe i won't come back, how about that this. >> i want you to come back. oh, come on. why are we lying? we are going together crazy chick. thanks, andy, reel me,