he's been to the farm aid concerts, many of which i went to, some of which i can remember. >> what does he say? okay, never mind. whoa. let's get out while we can. that's it for us on the five. again, our thoughts and prayers are with welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld. she is so hot they use her to light the olympic torch. and he is so funny that everyone forgets to laugh. comedian joe derosa. that was kind of mean. and in canada she a door stop. my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and his mustache can brerch 400 pounds while cooking a three-egg spanish omelette. john bolton, former ambassador to the u.n. and he is also the president of "red eye." before we proceed i want to point out this show was recorded last night or the

night before. we want to refrain from reporting on the tornadoes. our thoughts and prayers go out to the families affected by the tragedy. on that note, our first story. was his only goof pursuing the truth? the justice department scandal just got scandaly. yes, keep going. the washington post reports that the doj also went after fox news correspondent james rosen obtaining a portfolio of information on his conversation and visits as an investigation into a possible leak. so it wasn't just the ap facing scrutiny. the doj went a step further as an fbi agent claimed rosen broke the law, quote, at the very least either as an aider, abettor and/or co conspirator. why can't he be all three? we are outraged to learn today that james rosen was named a criminal co conspirator for simply doing his job as a reporter.

you know what i would rather focus on? this. >> you need something to brighten your day, but i'm not sure if that's it. i suddenly feel uncomfortable about that seat. ambassador, the doj was investigating a leak involving north korea which in the scheme of things about what is going on in the world with iran and iraq and syria korea is low on the todem pole. why do you think they were investigating this leak? >> low on the todem pole if you don't care about nuclear weapons. but i remember being interviewed by the press and all of the things that are the

subject matter and the leak investigation were in the newspapers like what is north korea going to do when it detonates the test? they could have gotten it from any pundit they wanted to. but what is frightening about this investigation is there are no reporters who deal with confidential sources. they couldn't be said to be aiders and abettors and co conspirators. they talk to people who leak classified information. while james rosen, purely coincidentally from pox news, purely coincidentally was the target here, that logic applies to every journalist. i think looking at this and looking at the ap story and looking at fast and furious as an alum nighs of the justice department how many times i could have been fired for what these guys do every day. >> it is unfair. here is my theory, you don't go after a fox news person because it is too obvious, right? don't you go to the -- you go after the ap, but not fox news.

do you think the leak was a danger to national security or just because it was fox? >> and this happened way before the most recent are spade of the government. and you don't have to run your finger down the bill of rights before you get to the first amendment. they went after james rosen's personal e-mail and then called him a criminal. to me that is criminal. as the ambassador pointed out, you want to punish the leakers? you punish the leakers. you can't punish the reporters and then we have no more first amendment. i don't know if that is a bad idea. if the doj received a portfolio they find a lot of sad, desperate texts to women who don't want anything to do with you which actually has nothing to do with espionage. it would still be embarrassing to you. >> if by sad and desperate you mean love letters and is and

you mean by you. >> i want to commend you for having your shirt unbuttoned an extra button. the women like to see all of the extra hair. >> it is the same buttons. i am losing weight. >> how much weight have you lost? >> have i been on a diet. >> depression is not a diet. >> depression is not a diet. that is a beautiful comment. i don't even remember the question i asked. >> i have a talk point here. >> singular form. these types of stories are occurrences and they confuse me. the lines seem to be blurred between when is it journalistic investigation and when it is aiding and abetting. it reminds me when the r kelly thing happened. there was the video -- >> of him doing something, yes. >> with kids, right? >> yes. >> and there were websites going look, he did this with kids. isn't that criminal that you are posting the video of him

doing that? i never quite understand where you are supposed to draw that line. >> what i learned is you are looking at really weird videos of r kelly. >> i didn't look at the videos. i was in your house and watering your plants. i hit the drop down thing on the brower is and it came up. >> have i to learn to erase my history. this is never a problem for you, bill. you don't have e-mail. you are safe from any snooping. where do you stand on this particular issue? it is odd that the reporter can be guilty when somebody is leaking to him. >> i don't like it, but the problem is the u.s. district court. they ruled all of this is fair game, federal investigators can indeed do this. it doesn't matter if we have a problem with it. what they did was completely legal. who doesn't have a problem was james rosen. congratulations. this is great press for you and any solid journalist who

wants this to happen to them and get in the front page of media apart from me. i am a private person and it has nothing to do with the fact that we send e-mails and it says picture of my nephews and when you open it up it is a picture of an aroused elephant. i like to keep my business to myself. >> i like how when you are talking they brought up a picture of james rosen as if he was there to respond, but he was just waiting for bill to finish. >> i can do his voice if you want. i have an amazing rosen impression. >> let me hear it. that's not him. >> can i get a banner that says rosen when i do that? >> if you want to talk about giving a guy a fair shot don't freeze the frame where he looks like he just got caught doing something. >> i love rosen. he is a funny go and he draws strange pictures.

i have to agree this is a great thing. if you were single and you wept to a bar and you -- and you went to a bar and are talking to a young woman or man because you never know, but i am under investigation with the doj. that's cool. you say look, i have to go and you give the room key, i can't be here i'm being tailed. >> it is kind of sexy. >> i have done it a million times. >> i had a good joke, but i'm scared. >> i am scared of michael leer. my collar. >> from snooping to sensitivity we plod while they jihad. it seems our efforts to to stop attacks are hampered because we don't want to be seen as targeting muslims. experts are ripping the department of homeland security's recently revealed anti-terrorism guidelines which compel cops to ignore islamic beliefs when investigating terror crimes. they claim that excessive

concern for the sensibilities of muslims is preventing law enforcement from tracking down terrorists. andrew mccarthy, a former new york prosecutor tells the daily caller, quote, agents are add admonished to discount the possibility that the constitutionality of the united states might possibly lead to violence. the surviving boston bomber, aka [bleep] head was said to be an islamist. before the bombings the fbi closed the file because it found this did not constitute derogatory information. meanwhile how are baby deer and bobcat relations? >> nice. that's how you do it, america. joe, are you half egyptian or

shun as i like to say. can you prove you don't have any kinds of terrorists and i remind you you are under oath and next to an aassador. you ared in to the president of "red eye." >> yes, i can prove it. just buy my new album when it comes out. there is a bit that can prove it. >> is this nuts they should over look what one element thateems to be comig up again and again among muslim saw prep -- supremacists. >> this is a touchy suggest. >> you are a comedian. >> i know. >> and touchy. >> i am bookended here. >> just happy it is not on me. >> it is a touchy subject and i have a hard time forming an opinio on it. the one thing i do think is i don't think it is great we keep announcing to the world how vulnerable we are. we screwed up. we could have stopped this if we would have done this. this is exactly how we made a

mistake. think that's dumb and i think it is irresponsible. >> but you have to point stuff out to correct these things. let me go to you. is the ago we wes sense to show vaw niche -- shaw -- chavanism dangerous? >> yes. that's the point of this. we can't be politically correct when it comes to identifying who the terrorists are. we can't just say if you are just a muslim extremist you are okay. if you are a muslim extremist who tells about violence then we are going after you. there is no nice muslim extremist. >> the problem is the fallout of muslim extremists to muslim nonextremists. the classic example is what happened to those in world war ii. >> that's where you have to be prepared to draw the line. it goes to the center of gravity . somehow you can't deal with the threat of islamic

radicalism and terrorism without insulting all muslims when muslims in the middle east know they are the vibe times pry -- the victims primarily. >> we can't be -- we seem uncomfortable with identifying evil for the fear of hurting other people's feelings who might welcome the fact that we will identify evil. >> sometimes you can't judge a book by the cover. i can guess you are riddled with disease. in a round about way i run out of questions. >> not only was that not a question, but you had an argument with yourself. >> it was actually kind of impressive as insulted i am. >> where does andrew mccart thee get off. he was in that horrible weekend with bernie sequel. he has been the victim of all sorts of show chevanism.

i can't tell if he was a girl or a guy. >> you are getting him confused with andrew mccartney. >> what part of class are you not understanding? i was impressed he was able to have sex with an older woman and that is neither here nor there. don't give me the prosecutor thing and say you can promote yourself by talking to this guy and bashing a wonderful country. >> i am ashamed i missed the andrew mccartney joke. this is bill's bread and butter. the administration calling it workplace violence, rei -- resisting links because they don't want to be called -- they don't want to claim they are easy llama phobic so they have an easy llama phobia phobia. it paralyzes you and it allows those who want to hurt you the opportunity to hurt you. that's the way i see it.

>> do you think the reason there is so much caution in proceeding with that kind of -- you know what i mean, identifying, do you think part of it is the supposed you are responsibility of the afternoon citizen to let the racism fly at that point? >> we have had so little backlash that you can count on your hand if you have eight fingers. the backlash after 9/11 didn't happen. new research has found that the united states is the least racist country in the united states. >> it is hard to find post 9/11 backlash against muslims. if you look around the country it is very, very hard to find. >> i feel like i read something going on in brooklyn every day. >> but they are directed at you, bill. >> i have a wonderful fan from a delightful weekend in florida.

my favorite story of the night from bombs to moms. her skin is charred and ears scared. it is a story ambassador bolten demanded we do. tan mom has a new song. patricia crench released a rap video, and the results could be no more discolored and oddly shaped than you could imagine. the 45-year-old slab of human jerkey invaded our brains when she was arrested for taking her daughter to a new jersey tanning booth. if this single is any hit she learned her lesson. overly sensitive viewers are asked to watch the following footage while trying not to blink.

♪ >> that that wasn't of enough we have footage of her own mother throwing herself down the stairs after watching her daughter's video. >> oh turtle, you have mortal lent than her. ambassador, i was surprised you called me directly to tell me to do this story. why does this move you so? >> what i said was i wanted to do something up lifting like a proliferation of nuclear weapons rather than this story. >> oh i think this is a beautiful story, joe. you would still date her and she was out of your league. if you were at a bar and you were -- yes, i won't go any further. >> two beers in.

>> they look alike. >> he is way tanner than the tan mom. >> when i heard the story i wasn't surprised about the song, but i can't believe she is only 45. i thought she was 60. >> does this symbolize the end of america as we know it? >> what is the point? why? what for? i don't understand. it is so shameful. >> which part? all i saw was awesome. >> all of it. the two gay guys -- >> we don't know they are gay just because they are having a great time. >> her little daughter -- first she tries to bake her and now embarrass her forever. i feel very badly for her daughter. >> she looks like she is the funest mom at the pta. her daughter is a lucky girl. >> bill, you only said that

because you dated the mother in the late 90s. are you jealous she is more successful and danker than you are? >> i am proud of her. that was no where near the handbagness we saw earlier on when she first got arrested. i am happy for her. she is going to have the last laugh when this single goes as plat nome as her beautiful -- platinum as her beautiful hair. and we hear her. >> how much are you going to pay oi tunes for this? >> i am getting this for free. >> this is one of the worst things i have ever seen. tmz should be charged for investigating and abetting. >> we used to care for the mentally ill. now we throw them in front of a camera. we are using the mentally ill. there is something wrong with this poor lady and we are using her because we think she is funny.

crazy people as entertainment. what is the future of u.s. chinese relations. my other passion is trying to get turtles to breed with cats. that's impossible, ambassador. first, are there more liberal graduation speakers than conservative? the answer may be yes or it may be no. frankly i haven't read this story.

are voices on the right kept out of sight? when it comes to picking a commencement speaker, the top 100 universities prefer members of a certain party, yes satanists. actually they select liberals

graduates and only 17 went with conservatives. my favorite young america's foundation which conducted the survey notes that it is a day luge of gems. some include oprah at harvard and mike bloomburg at stanford and turtle from "entourage" at mit. a lot of turtles today on this show. like i said, conservatives on walking ae as much of a big dog. >> as i said, once you have gay marriage this is what happens. you have big dogs pulling little dogs. is this another example of academia ignoring voices and please include the word yes in your answer. >> here is what i am thinking. maybe there are just far fewer famous conservatives so there

is a bigger pool. oprah is a good guess, a really good guess. maybe itt j a number then and not a prejudice thing. >> let's start with that. whether she is a liberal or conservative, would you have invited clara bell to speak in the 1950s? >> you don't think oprah would be an excellent example to set for your graduating class for people to go out to the world and accomplish and achieve thinns? >> if she is something to speak at commencements, i hate to see what their four years as undergraduates consisted of. i >>- q. i can see the ambassador -- >> i can see the ambassador's point. a woman is not okay cay to sit there and give advice. >> it is still not a dude. >> it is common and easy for a black woman in america to become a single -- >> they are a dime a dozen. >> joe, i didn't realize that

what you do every day is watch oprah. this is what it is about. >> watch oprah? i am oprah. >> he has a dream board above his bed. >> ambassador, is this because you haven't been asked recently? >> probably. >> now it all comes out. >> honestly what does her success in life have to do with her education? >> that's an interesting point. we are complimenting her. >> you are complimenting her? >> there is no need to go to a university. >> i into thought you were insulting her. >> he was saying something more smart. her success is not based on what they are learning, right? >> what did they do for four years to deserve her in the commencement speech. >> in my defense we all thought that. >> i still stand by the no lady speaker comments.

>> why do i do this show? complimenting oprah and den gnaw grating the students. what has happened? you take it with grace. >> thank you say so, boss. you are the boss. you are the president. you can condemn him right now. i agree with what you said about famous -- what is this segment about? >> chuck norris. also chuck norris. >> i am not partisan and don't care about either side, but i thought the right's biggest flaw was the inability to relate to the young people of america. they don't have the cool thing that the left sweeps in and grabs. this will be the object of a really good book written by somebody like me. that's what i'm doing. he hates me. >> you are in the book! i wanted to do well so i can't

see a dime. >> let's come to the more fundamental point. who cares about the commencement speakers anyway? does anybody remember anything they say? it is a waste of time. i want my diploma. >> they say follow your dream. it is the worst thing you can do. your dream is college is terrible. look at bill. >> what was your dream? >> it got me to this job. >> thanks, emerson. emerson is the name of his roommate. >> you wrote the soundtrack to my life. >> do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us. it is red eye at fox news.com. if you have a video of your animal doing something go to fox news.com/red eye. still to come, the half time report from writer and comedian jesse joyce. i hope he dressed up. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by shampoo. the soap used for cleaning the air and the skull p usually in

dress form. thanks, shampoo.

let's see if we got anything wrong so far. jesse joyce is filling in for andy levy. he was so excited he forgot to shave or iron his shirt. >> it is youthful. >> you are a boyish enthusiasm.

a homeless frisbie player in the park. >> that's what i was going for. >> all you need is a dog that can help you beg for change. you are just not even going to respond? >> really what do you want me to do? do you want me to point out you are wearing like marianne from gilligan's island picnic table? you want me to bring that up? >> no, that's all right. move on to something. >> ordinarily -- like i am just going to let the shots build up. i found out -- there was a lot of talk of aiding and abetting in the james rosen story. i looked it up just in case. the definition to aid is to assist and help. the definition of abet is to assist and help. >> basically you say don't use

one of those. >> it is a redundant thing to do. >> it sounds good. >> it is redundant and saying the same thing twice. >> by the way you said it was redone department and said the same thing twice. >> lawyers get paid by the word. lawyers get paid by the word. >> that makes sense. you are so much smarter than awful us. than all of us. you said the government peas on the first amendment and then that inspired joe derosa to make a video about r kelly's urine video can you refrain from any mentions of german pornography? >> she also used the word leakage. i played my cards. there were a lot of opportunities and i didn't go for any. >> it is like this segment is taking place in larry king's underpants. >> i wish.

>> joe is on a diet and he has lost a lot of weight. proud of you, joe. i will say that bill said depressions on a diet, and it is not, but alcoholism is in fact a diet and that's what kept him alive the last two hours. >> i find it best to drink through the meal times. >> and i burn a lot of calorie when's you are crying, joe. >> crying and running. >> and punching walls. >> greg, you asked if joe might be a terrorist. i cay p say definitively joe is not a terrorist. in order to wear a suicide vest you need shoulders. >> yoarks, come on. oh, come on. >> it is joe day. >> just a little of the black tank top peek out of that.

that's a bed sheet you are wearing. >> it is either you or pick on president bolten. >> that is the same tank top al paw chino road in chewing. and mccarthy was in "mannequin" as well and not to be confused with joe who has been in a mannequin. see what i did? >> nice. >> don't be ashamed of missing the andrew mccartney representative. you are at a disadvantage because as you know bill is an enormous "weekend at better thee " fan. >> it is true every time i go to bill's apartment he has an unconscious man propped up. >> that's andy.

the tan mom video was the knifers thing ever seen. be careful if you are watching to watch it on the internet cleanse your pallet by saying civil war surgery mishaps. by the way, i think it is amazing that everybody collected that the tan mom is so awful that no one has ever gone like where is tan dad. it is a known thing that nobody would stay with the troll. >> that's a good point. where is tan dad? >> nobody asked the question. >> where is tan dad? tan dad was in witness relocation. >> tan dad is trying to make ends meet on a sidekick salary. >> i will say that ambassador bolton, a lot of people up there missed your point you were making about nens comment and -- about your commencement

and i agree with you when you say [bleep] owe plaw. >> don't worry, we will bleep that. i do disagree with ambassador bolden has accused me of not doing anything this weekend. that's untrue. i am at the comedy club of ckson vi. ie the 23rd and the know you always, that's what you did. >> talk about aiding and abetting. joe is not oprah by the way. >> i didn't mean literally. i just mean -- you are jopra. >> it is like watching sex and the city, but i am carrie. >> i need things like how andy looks up things and i need something on disclaim and i did it. >> i don't go for them either. people make fun of everybody.

>> i guess we can talk about this after the area. off the air. >> i like being off the air. at this rate we will be off the air. >> back to you guys. >> well done, mr. joyce. get a shower. we have some free towel lets down there. go and steel some and maybe some water. >> the cow chips or the talent? >> a giant monsterritis bill schulz and. why was justin bieber booed. to quote ambassador bolten, haters gonna hate. so true, sam bass deer. ambassador.

were they more bright in an age of black and white? a new study claims the average intelligence level of a victorian era person was

higher than a modern era person. i believe that was the 1970s. it cuts consumptions our brains have gotten bigger based on iq tests. instead of the tests european researchers looked at reaction times to stimuli which may affect a more true intelligence. we have become less clever and one explanation is that smart people like me reproduce less than dumb people like bill. it must be discussed in the -- >> lightning roooouuuunnnndd. lightning round. >> i insulted will and it wasn't to the back bass deer. dash darn ambassador. there is no way they are dumber than those jerks. they didn't even have stuff like that. >> this was a european study. what else do i have to say?

reaction time in the 19th century things were so slow it was amazing they had reactions at all. i will just dismiss this and put it in the european file. >> you know whalts what what else is in it is european file? syphillis. >> for somebody who is not clever at all, what do you think of this? >> i didn't understand the story. it is probably true. i seem to get more laughter at my shows than ever before. i think it is dropping. >> you went from insulting oprah to your entire fan base. >> we don't need to think anymore. they don't wall this a dumb phone. it is called a smart phone.

i store stuff in other people's all the time. we are a product of our environment. >> that's true. i don't think i could do mathematics more. i can't even sign my name on a check because i forgot to do cur vive. >> we don't even call it cur vive. >> we call it crazy old people writing. >> bill, you are qred to be dumb in -- you are considered to be dumb in any era of history. is that a big deal? >> we have established that you not only can't do math, but you can't write your own name. that's rough. of course, look at the paintings in the early 20th century. what is behind everyone. what are they posing against? >> a library with book after book after book. what do we pose now? a dude in front of the gas and sip and he is covering the g.

that's his fist back page. >> you didn't have to go after greg jerrot like that. you know what this is? i had jobing craw see. smart people aren't reproducing reproducing reproducing and dumb people -- that's how it is. the movie has been prophetic. spoiler alert, something bad is going to happen in fudruccers. >> justin bieber was booed after accepting the milestone award. it was at sunday's bill body music awards and it shook-up the canadian cutie. >> i am not -- this is not a gimmick. i am an artist and i should be taken seriously. all of this other bull should

not be spoken of. i want to thank my manager. i want to thank my family at home. i want to thank my mother and my father. >> wow. what will president obama do next to undermind america? he is trying to destroy everything. stories like this, ambassador, are why we have you here as a confessed belieber. how heart broken are you? >> this proves that people are not dumber than they were in the 19th century. >> anybody that can go to the house where anna frank lived and write in her book, she should have been a believer. wake this kid up. >> joe, you are used to booing at your shows. >> i didn't hear any booing when this happened because i was cheering so loudly in my living room. i feel bad for him. i honestly do think he is talented.

>> i agree with you too. >> i have heard him sing a cappella on radio and he can do it. he is famous at 14. what do you expect? >> people do not -- people hate line cutters. when they see a young person successful like they didn't earn their licks. it happens in every walk of life. they just hate him because he is successful. >> and he is 19 and has more money than god. but he doesn't need to reinvent the will. he needs to break up with her and then write a song and everybody will love him again. >> it works for her. >> pull a swift on a swive. pull a swift on a swift. >> i am waiting for the question. >> wait forever but it is not coming. >> can i ask something? >> no, take his time.

i am supposed to wash over me as i think about the mistakes i have made. greg you brought up line cutters. this drives me nuts about a young person being popular. leonardo dicaprio is a line cuter. michael jackson, there are a lot of -- i am more popular when i start cutting lines. >> don't laugh. >> that was funny. >> but he is a sick, young man. >> i am not aiding and abetting. >> you know what this though when you watch the awed -- watch the audience it was the personification of the web. this is what the web s. a bunch of people who cannot be seen or luged saying whatever they want to say. half of the people go boo and half of the people go yea. >> it is another mark of the

decline of the culture. there was a time where people had attended an event like this. >> in 1800's the billboard uh words were so different. >> but in the 80sand 90s -- >> who would admit attending an event like that. >> i always thought it was max hedr ho n. think about. it he is a dude and a computer. >> thank you for that, you stupid man. when we come back, we will talk about something. remember, the joy of hate is number one in zimbabwe. i just made that up. out graphed copy, buy it for your friends.

last topic, well he has problems with his staff. according to the new york times anthony wiener is having a hard time hiring people for his upcoming mayoral campaign. his former consulting firm and new recruits have said no. as for the disgraced excongressman's choice, as his campaign manager, he answered one staff member and quote, never heard of him. dk is a partay. ambassador, the times claim wiener was an excessively demanding and confrontational boss.

don't they say the same thing about you? >> they have. but my former staffers haven't resigned. i noticed hillary clinton has not resigned. maybe we can do a trade and work something out. >> it is a late entry. lou think there is any problems? >> yes because size does matter. no, people do not -- it is too close in time and people don't want to be associated with that scandal, so they are not going to jump on his ban wagon, not yet. >> joe, are you ready to embrace wiener? >> i apologize in advance for this bad joke. joke, this is one struggling wiener that viagra can't help out. i tried to do something better. >> you were in a her re, i understand. you keep your a where they get paid. >> i think he is a moron and yeng the -- and i think the

shirtless picks where you look like a yutz. we can't take you seriously. >> i don't know what a yutz is. >> that's vanity times 12. long -- look at his face. bill, you sent in your res may several times. it was basically a shot for shot due duplicate of that very picture. i was -- he also shaves. >> my nipple >> we will close things out with the post game wrap up with jesse joyce. and if you want to see clips of recent shows just walk on over to fox news.com/red eye. walking metaphor rickly because it is actually inside your computer. go to fox news.com/red eye.

back to jesse joyce for post game wrap up. hi, jesse. >> hi. i just wanted to address something real fast. ambassador bolton acted shocked and surprised when bill mentioned cocaine like he had no idea what is going on. folks, that's not a mustache. ambassador bolton tell us about your koll lem in the review. >> i am still recovering. it is great, subscribe and this is about the less tons of -- of benghazi. >> cool. joe, what area are you doing fanned up in june 6th to the 8th. >> on the 9th i will be in new jersey, but in the morning i will be entertaining the workers at the craft. >> are you ready? >> no. i am really doing the craft factory and not the stretch