good evening you with gb news headuneis good evening you with gb news headline is next but first let's bnng headline is next but first let's bring you up to date with the latest news headlines and rishi sunak has promised to reduce the nhs wait list and tackle illegal migration in his first political broadcast , prime minister, migration in his first political broadcast, prime minister, mr. has promised hard headed common

sense in approaching the migration issue. he also blamed the pandemic for creating backlogs in health service. but he promised to let those down on the waiting list. he also said he'd taken but fair decisions to get borrowing and debt under control . the government's control. the government's priorities are your priorities . priorities are your priorities. the people's priorities together. we're putting your needs above politics to repair the economy , strengthen our nhs the economy, strengthen our nhs tackle illegal migration and restore pride in united kingdom. our country . well, earlier on our country. well, earlier on today in house of commons, the subject of nhs waiting lists and the threat of strikes dominated the threat of strikes dominated the first session of prime minister questions of the year. the prime minister himself quizzed the opposition leader on why he wasn't supporting the government's proposed minimum safety legislation , which seeks safety legislation, which seeks to ensure a minimum standard of

service by key workers during strike action. sir keir starmer responded by saying that if rishi sunak had negotiated earlier with nhs , they wouldn't earlier with nhs, they wouldn't be on strike in the first place. in australia and canada and the us. they banned strikes on blue light services. we're not doing that. light services. we're not doing that . all we're saying is that that. all we're saying is that in emergency services , patients in emergency services, patients should be able to rely , on should be able to rely, on a bafic should be able to rely, on a basic level of life care. why is he against that? mr. speaker , he against that? mr. speaker, he's not promising that people get to see a doctor in a few days like they did under labour. he's not promising that cancer patients would get urgent treatment as he did under labour . he's not even promising an nhs that puts patients first like it did under labour. no, he's promising that one day. although we say when the record waiting list will stop growing . now list will stop growing. now international news and vladimir putin has sacked his top military commander, leading

russia's war on. only three months into the job, sergei sirotkin has been overseeing moscow's attacks on ukraine's energy infrastructure as part of russia's so—called special military operation servic and has also faced criticism from russian military bloggers for failures on the battlefield and moscow's inability to secure a victory. he's now been replaced by the chief , the general staff, by the chief, the general staff, valery garrison , both now . the valery garrison, both now. the met office is warning that homes and businesses in the southwest , england and parts of wales are at severe risk of flooding . a at severe risk of flooding. a yellow weather warning for rain currently issued in the region until 5 pm. tomorrow. heavy rains already left parts . rains already left parts. tewkesbury in gloucestershire complete submerged. the met office says to expect possible power cuts , dangerous driving power cuts, dangerous driving conditions and, delays to public . tr conditions and, delays to public. tr end on the rock. guitarist jeff

beck has died at the age of 78. he rose to in the sixties as part of the yardbirds, replacing eric clapton before forming the jeff beck group with rod stewart. he the winner of eight grammy awards. his family posted . a statement on social media tonight . jeff died after tonight. jeff died after bacterial meningitis at us and he passed away yesterday . you he passed away yesterday. you will gb news. you're up to date on tv and dab+ radio . it's time on tv and dab+ radio. it's time for headliners headliners . for headliners headliners. hello and welcome to headliners leo kearse here to go through thursday's newspaper with my trusted comedy sidekicks , trusted comedy sidekicks, catherine hansen and nick dixon, sidekick . first of all, let's

sidekick. first of all, let's have a quick peek . what have a quick peek. what thursday's front pages have in store for us. the telegraph has 750,000 could soon default on mortgage could be some cheap houses coming up. if you're in the market for one the eye has hope for millions who have long. the mirror samuel johnson . same the mirror samuel johnson. same old tories . the sun the mirror samuel johnson. same old tories. the sun has standing firm. kate. defiant while senior royals urged caution over coronation. invite that's a long headline. the daily has. sling your hook sunbeam the daily star bans man boobs wings to give readers well—deserved break so no more no more coverage of prince harry from them and those were your front pages . let's were your front pages. let's start with the front page of the mirror. nick yes. in a myriad of comments, same old john sin and alluding to the shredded documents allegedly number 10

stuff, shredded documents before the cobra inquiry. and this stuff, shredded documents before the cobra inquiry. and thi s £20 the cobra inquiry. and this £20 million home boris staying in this donor's home and all that. and also the question and there's also the question of the interesting question of the more interesting question of the more interesting question of the distancing , where the social distancing, where bofis the social distancing, where boris joked , lack of boris johnson joked, lack of social distancing at parties. i don't know if this is specifically in mirror, but it's the same germophobe pocket. it's very interesting. well, if you're interested in partygate. very interesting. well, if yshould terested in partygate. very interesting. well, if yshould taketed in partygate. very interesting. well, if yshould take ted iiback. ygate. very interesting. well, if yshould taketed iiback. it's e. i should take that back. it's not interesting all. not interesting at all. i haven't that. that's haven't said that. that's something say. something i sometimes say. actually, it's not interesting. it's the same old nonsense about politics. i've been annoyed about partygate whole about partygate the whole time that annoying. it that we. yes, it annoying. it was insult injury but was adding insult to injury but let's focus the actual injury let's focus on the actual injury which restrictions which was restrictions themselves obscene. not themselves and the obscene. not that them, that boris didn't follow them, although annoying. although that was annoying. so he this party allegedly he was at this party allegedly and and a source. we don't and said and a source. we don't know if reported by poll brand itv political editor that said one source was saying that the prime minister making this comment sticks out in comment really sticks out in mind. pretty bad because mind. it was pretty bad because the pictures blah blah is claiming this. claiming that boris said this. what is it says what i find strange is it says we just shocked. they we were all just shocked. they would night was

would even the night he was there, we there. we were there, we were there. we were all together. and so why are you better if you're at the party? did and stop it? did you did you try and stop it? did you say, guys, all say, hey, guys, we're all shoulder to shoulder? what are we the madness. you we doing? stop the madness. you a so if you were a party as well? so if you were there, that bothers me slightly. but quite funny as but what? what's quite funny as well they're attacking well as? they're still attacking boris. gone, guys telling boris. he's gone, guys telling me it's this me it's like it's this psychopath on the that keeps psychopath on the bbc that keeps punching dead. punching guy after he's dead. like, you've got him. like, yeah, you've got him. you've rid him. success you've got rid of him. success and bizarre with so and it does seem bizarre with so many other things, especially things the things that are relevant to the daily readers, that are daily mirror readers, that are left wing paper, all this, the striking, all that kind of stuff, not stuff, i'm surprised not covering instead of covering that. instead of a story those over a year story that was those over a year ago. do you think ago. i catherine, do you think they're horse, they're flogging a dead horse, do you think? know, as a i'm do you think? you know, as a i'm sure you've been to a few parties. do you think these parties. do you think these parties actually sound that debauched crazy? that's debauched though crazy? that's what him and what i mean i guess him and bofis what i mean i guess him and boris joking that it boris johnson joking that it was the socially distanced the most socially distanced party or like still sounds maybe the party. i'm good . party or like still sounds maybe the party. i'm good. i'm the lamest party. i'm good. i'm good off that. i saw another quote that i guess it from the

same source that you know people were getting on with each other touching each other up all over each other and think the most pressing question of that what is the difference between all of those things. yeah yeah, yeah. and it's yeah. i mean, does anyone going to explain? no, no, i it's been it's been years since i touched human being. but i can't i don't . but the other i can't i don't. but the other thing is, boris , hear this thing is, boris, hear this quote, do you think? yeah did say that, you know, but it sounds so boris because he didn't really care if you told boris's he fundamentally thought the thought the rules stupid he thought lockdowns we out lockdowns was cheap but we out the he thought mask the other day he thought mask was he programmed was stupid but he was programmed by professor he was by that sage professor he was taking for me a series of taking credit for me a series of sudes taking credit for me a series of slides of other world leaders with and then who with masks and then one who wasn't wearing which was wasn't wearing it, which was bofis he wasn't wearing it, which was boris he was subliminally boris so he was subliminally tncked boris so he was subliminally tricked masks. tricked into wearing masks. bofis tricked into wearing masks. boris problem didn't boris his problem was he didn't care these rules. care about any of these rules. he were stupid in he thought they were stupid in his gut, but he had to go along with them. and so of course he got himself in big mess. got himself in this big mess. but say, also got covid. but as you say, also got covid. he got covid. yeah, but he also got covid. yeah, but he

didn't believe in the restrictions. wasn't restrictions. it wasn't he didn't believe covid, but he didn't believe in covid, but he didn't believe in covid, but he didn't in his good. you tend to think he didn't really lockdowns were yeah, at were necessary. but yeah, at least at first anyway. like least at first anyway. but like you a year ago or you say this all a year ago or whatever, we don't care. you know, you've got rid know, he's gone you've got rid of rishi now, of him. you've got rishi now, you know? yeah, yeah, yeah. and stop flogging the dead anyway. what front of what about the front of the times, which times, catherine? which i'm going we don't going hold up because we don't actually have an image there with see see with google. you can see can see at the top, it says hold up an instruction from me and then my name is on so because you're name is on it. so because you're this go to work and, keep this one go to work and, keep disability payments, people will be claiming be allowed to keep claiming their after returning their benefits after returning to will be offered tax to work will be offered tax breaks a job, plans breaks for getting a job, plans to boost employment . rishi sunak to boost employment. rishi sunak is to be concerned that he is said to be concerned that he will struggle fulfil a pledge to achieve economic growth this yearif achieve economic growth this year if the government cannot tempt many of the people back into work to deal with chronic labour shortages . yeah, so i was labour shortages. yeah, so i was laughing cause you were really, really serious and he was holding up your head. we holding up above your head. we need someone to do that need to hire someone to do that at all times in the victorian

era. yeah, yeah, yeah just getting him. what do you getting into him. so what do you think story? must think about the story? you must say something. think you say something. and i think you want well i do, but want to say, well i do, but i can. i can wait for you. i can be polite and go well, i think you know, if you get to have a disability payment and go to work. i would like to be disabled right now. i'd like to make than i'm making. make more money than i'm making. but is the thing but i mean, this is the thing nick. i mean, people have worked out can you can out that you can you can actually you know, signed actually get, you know, signed off with you can off on the sick with you can have things like a bad i mean every got something every everybody's got something that can they can be signed off on with whether it's on the sick with whether it's adhd whatever know there adhd or whatever you know there are can get are things that can get diagnosed private doctor diagnosed by private doctor quite and take take quite easily and take that take that i think the that route. i mean i think the that route. i mean i think the that we're we've got a labour shortage at the moment. the labour is so tight we labour market is so tight we need get people out of need to get people out of unproductive roles in equality, diversity inclusion diversity and inclusion and things , just things like that, just departments and get them into productive roles. yeah. well the idea let them their idea is yeah, let them their sickness benefits to scrap the sort of perverse incentives this

is, a great idea i've is, this is a great idea i've been on they i wasn't been on benefits they i wasn't always the all successful always the all too successful person struggled person you see i've struggled and life, been on and been lost in life, been on benefit. it's a very hard benefit. and it's a very hard time and it's so hard for people. they have illnesses or they have illnesses. they don't have illnesses. they're stuck benefits they're just stuck on benefits and. to work and and. it doesn't pay to work and it's a very thing ask it's a very hard thing to ask people are people people who are people a programme for survival is very hard to ask someone who's struggling bottom of struggling at the bottom of society and saying, go society and saying, hey, go back into earn less into work and actually earn less money and your much money and make your life much harder. you can't realistically ask because. ask people to do that because. you have to ask them to go against their interests. so what you sounds that you should do is it sounds that they're to hear it just they're trying to hear it just make it all carrot, make it all incentive. used to have incentive. they used to have a thing they scrapped where it was. you get like a year was. you get like a first year back to bonus so i make back to work bonus so i say make it massively incentives is work because used because once you then get used to you'll in this to work you'll stay in this first so why not just first part. so why not just massively incentivise it, which it like a kind of it sounds like there's a kind of thing they're trying to do here. yeah. for anybody who's yeah. and for anybody who's off sick with depression sick with, with depression there's, there's, there's a story there be story there that might be interesting as. well, interesting for them as. well,

so kind beats therapy when so being kind beats therapy when it to treating depression. it comes to treating depression. yeah have look. i yeah me or i can have a look. i can tell you it's basically like altruism. it's like if ever feel blue the to boosting your blue the secret to boosting your mood involve doing something mood may involve doing something for who knew? for someone else. who knew? we just altruism. just rediscover altruism. and they also say behavioural therapy something therapy and that's something called cognitive reappraisal, which something that which like something that would make the make you do that after the budget something. sounds budget or something. it sounds a bit formal me but you know, they're always coming with they're always coming up with new depression. new things about depression. they idea, we they this chemical idea, but we were told chemical were all told it was chemical imbalance that's out the window now. never believed now. i personally never believed i've always thought depression is the human is just part of the human condition. talks condition. yeah. melville talks it one of moby it on page one of moby dick. it's all literature. yeah, it's in all literature. yeah, it's different. it's it's called different. it's called and moby. called the hippos. and moby. it's called melancholia. it's always been there. it's an existential and it's existential problem. and it's not. it's almost a luxury condition. you've got the condition. if you've got the time about overthink time to sit about an overthink things, going to become things, you're going to become depressed, say i'm depressed, let's just say i'm slightly sympathetic than slightly more sympathetic than you. a real you. i think i think it's a real thing that happens to people. but i just don't think we should over pathologize and over medicalizing it because it turns out can be helped out if you if it can be helped helping other people, then it can't be strictly medical

problem. but we do have to help someone to better yourself. someone to feel better yourself. well, recently found phone well, i recently found phone and i it back rather than i gave it back rather than stealing i. i did feel stealing it. so i. i did feel better still. ultimately, probably but it does probably unhappy, but it does get a little boost and i'm right. think if you create right. i think if you create a consistent pattern of being nice, it helps me mean feels good. but ultimately probably good. but ultimately probably good for your soul yet leo still the being mean train but. it's like a boost for being me received a phone by because that's the first thing that's ever happened in london anyway, turn to the telegraph now. nick yes, 750,000 could soon default on mortgage. so not great news. now, i was actually trying to get a mortgage myself so it's not great news for me. my idea is to work two jobs myself into the ground for the dream of possibly getting a mortgage. but there's a bit it's a problem there's a bit it's a big problem right? borrowers right? because 117,000 borrowers are us, which is are failing to pay us, which is equal to 1.5. the balance of mortgage. obvious mortgage. this is obvious because is increased because borrowing is increased rates. and the reason rates. inflation and the reason is purely worrying . of course, is purely worrying. of course, in 2008, the thing that

precipitated the crash was , this precipitated the crash was, this was the subprime mortgage problem . that was a different problem. that was a different problem. that was a different problem was people problem because it was people that lend it to people who that over lend it to people who could it. so they could never afford it. so they were defaulting. problem were defaulting. but the problem of the same. so it is of defaulting the same. so it is quite worrying if go on in quite worrying if you go on in the however it is the piece, however it is slightly less worrying perhaps because rates for because the interest rates for the sets as its the bank of england sets as its base. worried people worry base. we're worried people worry they go up to 5.5% but they can go to 4.5 and then come down because gradually because inflation is gradually easing. the number of easing. yes. so the number of defaults could be much defaults could actually be much lower. so this happens. lower. so if this happens. it's a disaster but it might a massive disaster but it might not and also the not be easily. and also the feeling the government is going to people, because to bail people, whatever because we've grown to we've we've just grown to governments people out governments bailing people out with know, the with lockdowns. you know, the quantitative easing with everything, catherine, you actually are looking to actually are looking forward to some made homeless. some people being made homeless. you their houses you can buy their houses at a fire sale price. i mean, i've never been so to not have never been so happy to not have a my life. i once thought i'd a in my life. i once thought i'd be a homeowner and now i'm like, oh, glad i just rent. but oh, glad ijust rent. but i mean, you know, i can't pretend to know what's happening with inflation, with everything. i mean, like mean, it kind of seems like everything's out control.

everything's out of control. it's are going go it's just what are going to go downhill . yeah, most first good downhill. yeah, most first good play downhill. yeah, most first good play mortgages who thought play about mortgages who thought failure pay off. so well, failure would pay off. so well, yeah. failure would pay off. so well, yeah . and if you did pretend to yeah. and if you did pretend to know what was with inflation, that would you an economist that would make you an economist . we hope our . and anyway, we hope our friends , the daily star. friends, the daily star. catherine, they leading catherine, what are they leading with hook being the with selling your hook being the daily star bands babies wingers from best newspaper in the universe to give readers a well—deserved i guess i hope that means all my relatives will stop talking about prince harry to me also are americans obsessed with prince . so i got obsessed with prince. so i got a text message from somebody who i hear from like by monthly who was like aren't you excited to be in the uk for all of this? i was like, are you do you have a hobby? like wonder what happened to you that's the worst thing to be big harry be excited about. big harry season . yeah, that's pathetic . season. yeah, that's pathetic. why would you be excited to be in the uk while? we melt down about a ginger prince no one cares about. i don't know. i mean, his history, royal mean, is his history, royal history happening front of history happening in front of your nick? can you get enthused

by sick of it like by it? no, i'm sick of it like anyone. i mean, did you hear the diana bit in the new audio bit? he talks about lips of and he talks about the lips of and the toddlers. you haven't had. maybe it have been a deep maybe it could have been a deep fake of it's very fake. it's sort of it's very freud. it's a disturbing clip. you have to you have to look up on twitter. but yeah, he's talking tweeting his you talking about tweeting his you know, frostbite know, he had the frostbite and the the frostbite on the the and had the frostbite on the what what we're allowed to. what and what we're allowed to. but the oh, yeah, but he had the oh, so yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. and yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. and i'm he tried to treat it i'm i think he tried to treat it with something and he tweeted the same thing that used the same thing that diana used to lips and he said, to use on her lips and he said, the smell reminded of, for example, it's very now example, it's very, very now it's could be a it was it's very it could be a it was very disturbing, right? yeah. very anyway, the of very anyway, that's the end of part part two. we look part one and part two. we look at a real life episode of succession. it seems that some men actually want to be their men actually want to be at their child's this shamima begum child's and this shamima begum a bbc series before me see it a couple of minutes .

welcome back to headliners i'm leo kearse and i'm still joined by stand up comic katherine hansen and stand up gay nick dixon . let's kick off with dixon. let's kick off with thursday's and nick are taking all the fun out of going to the football i know clubs can now be fined homophobic chants and this all kicked off because of a well it's happened a few times it was a chelsea match on monday night where lampard involved where frank lampard was involved in there was a nottingham in it and there was a nottingham match. anyway, chant i don't match. anyway, the chant i don't want say it, but it's , it's want to say it, but it's, it's chelsea boy . we've chelsea mortgage boy. we've changed it slightly to a different . you couldn't different word. you couldn't afford a mortgage if you couldn't afford mortgage couldn't afford a mortgage because interest because of the high interest rates go back to doing rates have to go back to doing this if you could this boy. yeah. if you could afford mortgage , you actually this boy. yeah. if you could aff01up mortgage , you actually this boy. yeah. if you could aff01up owningige , you actually this boy. yeah. if you could aff01up owning the you actually this boy. yeah. if you could aff01up owning the boy actually this boy. yeah. if you could aff01up owning the boy afterally end up owning the boy after five. yes, exactly. and that's the difference. which the key difference. which time is used to sing this, is a man now used to sing this, leo?i is a man now used to sing this, leo? i to out night leo? i used to go out night games like life long. you know, if i'm mum's from very telling me more about your homophobia. if i'm mum's from very telling me nthe about your homophobia. if i'm mum's from very telling

me nthe fansrt your homophobia. if i'm mum's from very telling me nthe fans you ur homophobia. if i'm mum's from very telling me nthe fans you see omophobia. if i'm mum's from very telling me nthe fans you see say phobia. if i'm mum's from very telling me nthe fans you see say weybia. well the fans you see say we obviously didn't you know the obviously i didn't you know the fans these chants fans used to sing these chants but they weren't particularly they home they they were at home phobic. they were like they're just a channel. they just as morrissey once had once sang in a song, he had a song about for which said, song about for which he said, the songs not the songs we they're not supposed to a thing. and supposed to mean a thing. and what is football to be a what it is football is to be a working class game is for men have been working all week and they went to went to the ground they went to went to the ground they a steam a fun they let off a bit steam a fun chatis they let off a bit steam a fun chat is this chant really i always felt chant was always felt the chant was targeted the mental aspect than the the whole bisexuality the than the whole bisexuality aspect. yeah they aspect. yeah because they were saying you know, think about it you chelsea the accusation is you chelsea the accusation is you always rich person you always sort of rich person in chelsea and you you are in chelsea and you are, you are availing yourself of certain services and mocking you for that we're not even really mocking the boy or his sexuality . yeah i say we they the fans are mocking the sort the procurement of it and the plushness of chelsea and the and the sleaze. i remember that . the sleaze. i remember that. yeah. catherine, what do you make of all this? i think the actual definition of the band phrase is just young male

prostitute right there isn't. it's descriptive. it's not saying whether they're gay or straight i mean, and i guess, yeah, if you just i mean, i'm not, you know , i'm not going to not, you know, i'm not going to pretend i know anything about football. it's not my jurisdiction. but and not trying to give anybody but to give anybody ideas. but i guess you could just say you're a male, right? use the song there you go. is that because you don't about so many syllables male syllables for a football or male prostitute . right. can they even prostitute. right. can they even pronounce it now? i'm convinced you don't know about football, but you know about sex work but you do know about sex work and was idea? i do. i and that was that idea? i do. i don't know if i'm allowed to say it but i am i am well it on air, but i am i am well versed in it, not myself. but just the running i've i've heard things. i've some people. yeah right. eyelids ? any, right. any any eyelids? any, any, any minor. cross. cross doonl any, any minor. cross. cross door. i think we all know the older royals who are versed in. i was thinking move off that story but leo double down we should probably we should probably move in with the guardian is reporting on a

battle to seize control of one of the world's biggest fashion brands, handbags at dawn, catherine . see what they're catherine. see what they're doing. bjorn, i saw what you did there. yes the lv mh billionaire bernard , i'll note. oh, no. oh bernard, i'll note. oh, no. oh no pressure, no points to run dior . he is no pressure, no points to run dior. he is the world's richest and has appointed his eldest daughter to run christian dior , daughter to run christian dior, the second biggest brand in his . daughter to run christian dior, the second biggest brand in his . , the second biggest brand in his. , empire . he picked his daughter empire. he picked his daughter over his son, i guess, has been the big outrage here. grace yeah . for me, this article, the most unbelievable thing about it is not that he picked his daughter over his son. but that she said that she didn't have any of these luxuries until she was 18, when she got her first louis vuitton bag and attended her first lavish party when she was 21. i don't believe it . i first lavish party when she was 21. i don't believe it. i mean, if your dad owns louis vuitton , if your dad owns louis vuitton, then surely you're going to get

a louis vuitton handbag. you find them lying around the house. you'd be born in one. i mean , how it works . then what do mean, how it works. then what do you think of this? well like you say, it's good that he's picked the if not, she the daughter because if not, she would been impressed would have been impressed to only be, know, second in only be, you know, second in line to the richest man in the world would been world would have been disgusting. so good disgusting. i mean, so good because gender pay because we got the gender pay gap. totally real gap. leo which is totally real and real big, real problem. and a real big, real problem. so, so great. and elon musk, of course, was the richest in course, was the richest man in the world. he foolishly the world. but he foolishly decided an altruistic thing. the world. but he foolishly deci byi an altruistic thing. the world. but he foolishly deci by twitter altruistic thing. the world. but he foolishly deci by twitter and|istic thing. the world. but he foolishly deci by twitter and tryc thing. the world. but he foolishly deci by twitter and try and ng. the world. but he foolishly deci by twitter and try and save and by twitter and try and save free tonight this and free speech tonight this guy and yeah like this the yeah it's much like this the show presumably with show succession presumably with less and it is real less swearing and it is a real he's got five children and also of for empire and he probably thinks it's silly if you one of the kids what are you going to do you you of course you don't want it to your brother or want it to be your brother or sister. they get that get sister. they get so that you get a feel bound to feel a bit peeved on you. i think this is a reason harry is so angry on some level. i mean, it's not so secret that he's not in line to the throne, an awkward

the throne, so it's an awkward position. now this second guy position. so now this second guy is sort of prince harry is sort of the prince harry dior. you see dior. so do you do you see a series of progressively more bonng series of progressively more boring documentaries and books coming? yeah, his fingers, fingers crossed. anyway, sticking guardian, fingers crossed. anyway, sticking an guardian, fingers crossed. anyway, sticking an interestingan, fingers crossed. anyway, sticking an interesting pledge we've got an interesting pledge from they're going from labour. they're going to make send your make too expensive to send your children a good children to get a good education. you well you've education. nick, you well you've slightly question slightly loaded the question that i yes labour that i feel but yes labour looked to force a vote on ending private and private schools tax break and this this tax break for this would be this tax break for 1.7 billion a and that 1.7 billion a year and that they'd take private schools 1.7 billion a year and that theythey'd private schools 1.7 billion a year and that theythey'd give private schools 1.7 billion a year and that theythey'd give ityrivate schools 1.7 billion a year and that theythey'd give it to ate schools 1.7 billion a year and that theythey'd give it to it's schools and they'd give it to it's stealing they give it to two they allegedly give to they allegedly give it to comprehensive schools to, hire more knows more teachers, but who knows if that work. yeah, that would actually work. yeah, i this when i didn't like this policy when i it before because in theory sounds good. it's the ultra but really shall we really the ultimate. shall we find aspirational find it's the aspirational people they've worked people here they've worked really got really hard because the left got the schools were the grammar schools which were way less people. what? way for work less people. what? my way for work less people. what? my went to one. it was a way my dad went to one. it was a way for world class people to be able transcend their able to transcend their background and a good background and get a good education they scrapped by the left everyone left because they want everyone to at the bottom. so then to equal at the bottom. so then became private schools like okay you get kid you can work hard get your kid into a private school now

they're cracking on that and it will have the same effect. and what'll happen, is what'll happen, of course, is people do postcode people do the postcode lottery where house. where they'll just buy a house. and the best way to the best and the best way to get the best comprehensive so the comprehensive school. so the money on their money they're spending on their education estate education goes to an estate agent it like agent instead. it seems like a ridiculous system and also the people sending the to people who are sending the to private school have already through their taxes which they private school have already thro ajh their taxes which they private school have already thro ajh tiof r taxes which they private school have already thro ajh tiof byixes which they private school have already thro ajh tiof by the which they private school have already thro ajh tiof by the whicthey've pay a lot of by the way they've already paid comprehensive already paid the comprehensive the school system so they the public school system so they paid state and paid for the state schools and then to have to then they're going to have to pay pay then they're going to have to pay pay tax on top of pay and pay more tax on top of that. that's the state that. and that's to the state schools seems almost most read distribution. catherine, do you agree with well , one thing i agree with the well, one thing i do agree this is that do do agree with in this is that do think there should be brilliant education child ? and education for every child? and by that big ones, even the school find ways to do it. but i mean, you want to make them clever. it's like i don't even know if that's what's happening for people in schools. i mean, there's something things that i didn't how to do my didn't learn, like how to do my taxes, to fry how to taxes, how to fry eggs, how to touch my toes without my back going are things going out these are things i had to it well, exactly. the

to learn it well, exactly. the outside of school. so i think the issue goes where the the issue goes beyond where the money's going and what's actually taught. right. actually being taught. right. yeah. i all this with yeah. yeah. and i all this with the bitterness someone who the bitterness of someone who went terrible comprehensive went to a terrible comprehensive school i'm here defending private schools ridiculously but i'm principle of i'm defending the principle of aspiration being punished aspiration not being punished for know that you for it. but yeah, know that you can chance sending your can a chance of sending your kids to may seem like a better idea. if i have been to one of these schools i'd pm by. these schools i'd be pm by. i was told that anyway anyway. the daily mail. now and bbc daily mail. now and the bbc are spending shoes spending licence fee on shoes for terrorists. more terrible. more terrible taxes. catherine shamima begum lands bbc podcast as broadcaster is slammed, the bbc was today for giving terrorists platform quote unquote, after shamima begum landed a ten part podcast to reach trace her journey , but reach trace her journey, but critics accused the bbc of licence fee payers money and said the families of isis victims be mortified. the bbc said the podcast would provide ms. begum's full account of what

really happened. yeah. do you think this is good use of the licence fee ? no. i mean, look licence fee? no. i mean, look i think this is a podcast. it exists not doing a second season and this time it's focusing on tomorrow back of now if it's just a of documentary series, let's get the truth behind it. that's fine. i mean, it's not necessarily praising you necessarily praising her or, you know, thing she did she know, the thing that she did she was part of that she did say that a good time she that she a good time then she had regrets. so, you know, had no regrets. so, you know, it's a bizarre person to defend there is a suspicion that sort of leftie culture defends these people washington people. the washington post, when al baghdadi an when they called al baghdadi an austere that austere scholar and that appalling changed it appalling and then it changed it to when they to extremist leader when they got . now you got attacked. so now but you could say the bbc is going could say no. the bbc is going to cover it honestly. but then there's the issue of why select some know will there some of them you know will there be equally balanced be an equally balanced documentary tommy robinson be an equally balanced doc seriesary tommy robinson be an equally balanced doc series one tommy robinson be an equally balanced doc series one doubtsymmy robinson be an equally balanced doc series one doubts it.ny robinson be an equally balanced doc series one doubts it. so robinson the series one doubts it. so there is a there is a question of you you select and of you know who you select and what it's okay say. i would what it's okay to say. i would telling truth about but telling the truth about it but you've said tommy you've already said tommy robinson, although the guardian would disagree. think tommy would disagree. i do think tommy robinson on the

robinson is quite on the on the same level as somebody who is actually an active participant. exactly. that exactly. there's also that point. yeah. yeah, who point. yeah. and so. yeah, who knows? first. knows? we should watch first. but you've already you sort suspect the why choose suspect with the bbc. why choose in this person to make this all? we give a ten part series to. yeah. absolutely. mean yeah. no absolutely. and i mean i guess there is the argument that can be made. she was she was groomed. she's you know, she was groomed. she's you know, she was a young teenage she was groomed by by isis basically . groomed by by isis basically. it's got parallels with the with the grooming gangs in rotherham, rochdale, telford and all those places. and she's a victim of the like britain's culture or culture of multiculturalism , culture of multiculturalism, where we allow beliefs and cultures to unfettered and don't of them don't ensure people integrate properly. so then , you integrate properly. so then, you know, she could these these ridiculous ideas and fundamentalist can arise in the uk like do you think there's more we could be doing to prevent the next shamima begum i

don't know when you say that i think of is the sentence that she said she brought mint chocolate to syria with her because you can't find it there and it is a tragedy which i think is probably the biggest tragedy she's been associated with. but i know many was an ice territory. that's what we learnt from that article anyway. the telegraph now an nhs failure rate from birth. nick yeah, this more than half of pregnant women denied partner support during birth, despite the covid 19 rules. and this is the legacy of policies. so i'm told on this one cause obviously i hate the lockdown restrictions. i also a misogynist who thinks that men shouldn't be at the birth. i mean, you were playing darts during, know , the birth of during, you know, the birth of your leo or your child, weren't you, leo or something. should give birth something. you should give birth on a pool. yeah. yeah. so it worked out, but yeah. in worked out, but yeah. you in there you well there obviously you know. well this i've just joke it this is there i've just joke it it's it's a it is it's a shame it's a it is a serious thing. it's it's these weird thing where these lockdown they've gone, but they sort of ungen they've gone, but they sort of linger. of the linger. it's the legacy of the restrictions the people are

restrictions and the people are still not there for the birth because we sort of think now they be even though they shouldn't be even though they shouldn't be even though they be. so needs they are allowed to be. so needs to yeah to stop basically. yeah catherine, i'm not planning on giving time but giving birth any time soon, but if i he's going to be there like , i mean. leo oh, well everyone here actually, i'd like everyone to be in the room just commenting on it. yeah. i'm just going to say if you do, if you do end up meeting a woman and how she's to be liam. thank you mate. might have no time. i'm a workaholic married to my job. i believe . believe it could believe. believe it could happen, but yeah. just don't don't watch the actual don't watch actually happening that was that was traumatising but anyway a quick break now but why not join us in part two and find out why some migrants don't want a series even if they don't have anything their uses anything up their iran uses facial recognition. ironically and who was it who wrote harry potter again? we're going to find out in a couple of minutes.

welcome back to the late night paper show with two comedians. the teams now the government is going to use bone scans to validate people's ages. but don't it's not a tinder profile. it's for migrants. catherine mri knee scans for migrants who that they're under 18. migrants who to be children to raise their chances. being granted to be children to raise their chances . being granted asylum to be children to raise their chances. being granted asylum in the uk will to have mri scans and x—rays to check whether they are lying . right. and do you are lying. right. and do you think some of them have been lying? because i've seen of the pictures. the trouble is people, you know, come across the channel say they've lost their papers. but yeah, i'm a i'm a 14 year old kid, you know, as they say with, a big grey beard. and but then they get placed in foster homes, schools and stuff. mummy mummy. well, i'm not going to name him, he fosters and to name him, but he fosters and he's he's got teenage he's got, he's got teenage daughters to take one daughters and he had to take one of back the whatever of the kids back the whatever you it the pound or

you call it the pound or whatever you to him back whatever you to take him back because he was clearly 54. yeah, yeah, yeah . you know, i mean so yeah, yeah. you know, i mean so you can have this guy in the house with his 14 year old daughter and i mean i know if i'm seeking asylum i might anything. yeah so i you know in some i have empathy for the some ways i have empathy for the idea that you have to do that because that's how grave it all is. but bone scans and in is. yeah, but bone scans and in the article it says that you it doesn't even , you might not even doesn't even, you might not even be able to predict age with real precision from the bones scans. yeah. so, but that part i question because it's like you can predict it roughly they'll can't you. you can say if they have 70 or 70 thought it is a bit silly because it's so hard to actually do anything about the migrant from that suella braverman has come said braverman has come in and said you we use this as you know, we can use this as a way of getting rid of a certain amount people and also deterring people. you that you people. if you hear that you can't in because they scan can't get in because they scan you or something, can't you or something, you can't lie, then that might help. but we can't do anything because time we any of

we try and enact any kind of policy. s—h it or the policy. the s—h stops it or the airline doesn't want do it. airline doesn't want to do it. you meant to take you know, was meant to take people wonder what was he people to wonder what was he saying, that the policy and then they're here is one they're saying here this is one way we do it, but can't. way we can do it, but we can't. the age with precision, it's like, if you you could like, yeah, if you got you could predict it roughly. and also it's opt out system so you it's an opt out system so you can opt out if they come along to you're like you to you and you're like you remember happy days, the tv show and to be and every was supposed to be a teenager, they're teenager, but the phones they're in 48. you in is clearly about 48. you know, and kicking that jukebox this you can just opt out of it and i guess if you are over 18, then then that's what you do. yeah, as i say, it's clean i'll tell michael. claiming tell michael. he's claiming to be simply refuse to be a child can simply refuse to undergo age. yeah. undergo a scientific age. yeah. that's some 50 year that's much like some 50 year old now i'm he did a scan old guy. now i'm he did a scan now it's my right. ridiculous. yeah yeah, maybe he's 14 at heart. that's true. yeah. and can start if you can identify as any age now some people are pushing that have you seen the like trends thing or like trends age thing or whatever it i saw whatever it was. i saw it on twitter so they bring in now twitter so if they bring in now so these people get hold of the

guardian to read and get some of these ideas what you can these ideas about what you can identify. to in identify. we're going to be in even trouble. absolutely. even more trouble. absolutely. well next iranian women even more trouble. absolutely. well want next iranian women even more trouble. absolutely. well want to ext iranian women even more trouble. absolutely. well want to startanian women even more trouble. absolutely. well want to start hiding'omen might want to start hiding faces, so iran to faces, nick. yeah. so iran to use recognition. so use facial recognition. so identify women breaking hijab laws of like absurdly laws this kind of like absurdly like oppressive thing and you've already got people wearing his entire covering. then the one bit you see want be bit you can see they want to be a it just a a that bit like it just a barcode or something there's one tiny bit you can see tiny bit you can you can see doesn't much. i mean like handmaid's tale that point isn't it we get absolutely it so we get absolutely on our high horse because we have such absurd of surveillance in absurd level of surveillance in london. on a high london. but we can get on a high horse by. the treatment of women perhaps, so much the perhaps, but not so much the surveillance part. yeah, perhaps, but not so much the survis lance part. yeah, perhaps, but not so much the survis the :e part. yeah, perhaps, but not so much the survis the uranium. yeah, perhaps, but not so much the survis the uranium. they|h, perhaps, but not so much the survis the uranium. they wanted this is the uranium. they wanted to in anyway. and to bring this in anyway. and then there's was then there's a mini one was tragically killed so they tragically killed and so they sort of seem to have rolled it back. but now the talking about bringing facial bringing out again facial recognition and the reason it's out is people have found out is that people have found they've to police they've spoken to by the police and things like this without any interaction them before, any sort anything. and sort of record of anything. and it's how you know about sort of record of anything. and itmean, how you know about sort of record of anything. and itmean, itow you know about sort of record of anything. and itmean, it seems/ou know about sort of record of anything. and itmean, it seems like (now about sort of record of anything. and itmean, it seems like they about sort of record of anything. and itmean, it seems like they mayt i mean, it seems like they may have their face without

have scanned their face without knowledge. course, knowledge. right. and of course, are you know, having are you know, we're having facial in the uk as facial recognition in the uk as nick said. i might even nick said. i mean we might even see wearing burkas see people wearing burkas to evade evade facial evade and evade facial recognition what recognition systems. but what you make with oh we you make of it with oh we literally have on our phones, i don't have it turned on. i mean, we've some invited it we've in some ways invited it into like just for into our homes like just for personal yeah. so can't personal use. yeah. so i can't imagine not being to decide that for yourself. well, while living yeah. you know, walking around the and, and i guess know if you, if you want to find out if people are wearing hijab, then a facial recognition system is going to be a good way of doing it because you'll be able to see their face and it will be efficient. yeah leo's like this makes sense. i mean, the logistic bits are there. yeah, but it's more the moral aspect isn't it? it's more frowned upon i think. yeah. absolute i mean we'll see you know, how it we'll see how you know, how it gets this technology. gets used to this technology. but you also feel the iranian regime is getting on it even. i mean, not winning. they mean, they're not winning. they they've lost in the court of pubuc they've lost in the court of public they're public opinion and they're just doing desperate

doing increasingly desperate things, right? yeah, i think so. yeah let's at yeah anyway, let's look at thursday's next. and thursday's meal next. and a teacher been accused being teacher has been accused being transphobic, and transphobic, homophobic and misogynist . offer them a job. misogynist. offer them a job. you know, catherine you've got this one christian maths teacher accused of misgendering trans people denies misconduct . he people denies misconduct. he joshua sutcliffe is accused of referring to a transgender student as she working at a secondary school in oxford as well as making inappropriate comments about gay marriage and masculinity at another school he allegedly played his own video to pupils at the boys only roman catholic school which he said muslims have a false understanding god and that mohammed was a false prophet . mohammed was a false prophet. mr. sutcliffe also allegedly said children who grow up without a father are more depressed than their peers are and are at far greater risk of incarceration, pregnancy incarceration, teen pregnancy and poverty. i feel seen , but it and poverty. i feel seen, but it seems he should have really gone into religious studies as opposed to maths now. yeah based on his opinions. yeah. yeah, yeah.

on his opinions. yeah. yeah, yeah . never mind algebra. here's yeah. never mind algebra. here's a lengthy digression. my own opinions on religion. yeah yeah. but this is appalling. i mean opinions on religion. yeah yeah. but tiyou; appalling. i mean opinions on religion. yeah yeah. but tiyou; appout�*ng. i mean opinions on religion. yeah yeah. but tiyou; appout these1ean opinions on religion. yeah yeah. but tiyou; appout these like when you find out these like inappropriate views about masculinity, easy favour of masculinity, it's easy favour of it. that's basically what it is. yeah and you see him at the bottom like, oh you show students inappropriate videos. oh he show them drag oh what did he show them drag time story. no, no time story. i went no, no was just informative stuff just some informative stuff about look, you about religion. i mean look, you shouldn't sharing shouldn't perhaps be sharing your in a non your religious views in a non religious studies class. possibly can that but he says possibly i can that but he says didn't show them the videos anyway they just saw out the videos perhaps to stitch him up did so the videos were on youtube videos on youtube went to. he says didn't even to. yeah and he says didn't even play to. yeah and he says didn't even play them in the and also this thing about about says here i think this is even his lawyer saying you know views on saying you know his views on gender contra but upheld gender contra virtual but upheld and in they're and protected in law they're not controversial do they and protected in law they're not the census nought point 5% the census shows nought point 5% of most identify as of people at most identify as and non—binary. somehow it's taken over whole world this taken over the whole world this and this idea in this and this idea in general this sort of idea going sort of general idea going around now that you know it's all it has such

all a spectrum and it has such thing as biological whatever thing as biological sex whatever oh, i think i'm on schoolchildren. it's point 5. i think about 100. think it's around about 100. yeah. well, that's maybe but the bafic yeah. well, that's maybe but the basic point comes down to we have a new ideology in our lives. guy is lives. and this guy is a christian and he hasn't upheld the religion, the new the new religion, the new ideology, of ideology, which is sort of rainbow ideology whatever rainbow ideology or whatever i call it. the thing where we've got to give on the pronouns got to give up on the pronouns they want and he's just gonna i'm i'm not. he i'm a christian. i'm not. he didn't actually do on didn't actually do it on purpose. apologised it, he purpose. he apologised it, he used pronouns but used the wrong pronouns but he's like not that like he's obviously not that into that you're not into all that though. you're not allowed be a christian allowed to be a christian anymore, have to be part of anymore, you have to be part of the new ideology. yeah. and as you when i saw the, you you see now, when i saw the, you know, he'd people know, he'd misgendered people who've homophobes and who've been homophobes and misogynist and all this stuff. i was expecting, you know, more. i was expecting, you know, more. i was worse than was expecting worse stuff than what he's actually he's actually done. seem be done. i mean, people seem to be so sensitive to some these things and misgendering has got to a real problem. i've done to be a real problem. i've done it clubs when i've it in comedy clubs when i've missed mis guessed gender of missed mis guessed the gender of somebody, know, sitting, somebody, you know, sitting, sitting it's sitting in front of me and it's harder harder , you know, harder and harder, you know, identity is just some is just badge. you sign yourself

internally rather than a sort of external symbol. well think it's the most controversial thing this is that he said that men are not masculine enough but he's a maths teacher so like i don't know that's not what i mean but he might lift heavy and he's not i'm not imagining a guy right now. yeah yeah no he's just making analogies i like when i' m £375 you know, i mean when i'm £375 you know, i mean he converts it, he does like analogies with his weight and stuff that but you'd prefer that he was down in the woodwork department with splinters his i mean if going say kind mean if he's going to say kind of he better be able to of comments he better be able to lift me twice. yeah you to lift me twice. yeah you want to be on pe teachers with be on those pe teachers with weirdly shorts on those weirdly short shorts on those guys you just your guys because you just by your last name so just freeing a bit too the telegraph too much anyway to the telegraph now the culture secretary now and the culture secretary has weighed into furore over has weighed into the furore over jeremy clarkson's comments about meghan late meghan markle only a month late , the wheels of government , but the wheels of government turn slowly. was going to turn slowly. nick i was going to say than jeremy say better late than jeremy clarkson has a right say what clarkson has a right to say what wants says terry. i wants about meghan says terry. i can the word michel donald can say the word michel donald so yes , better late than never.

so yes, better late than never. she's finally come in and said he has free speech and. of course, that's absolutely true. it ridiculous it was a bizarre, ridiculous outpouring of hate about clarkson was just a mob mentality. it was like , you mentality. it was like, you know, two minute hate or whatever were like, whatever it was they were like, you was the one walking you know, he was the one walking down the street while we down the street naked while we whip him and say and then whip him and say shame. and then just it seem just on. doesn't it seem irrelevant it was irrelevant already? it was absolutely nothing. was absolutely about nothing. it was absolutely about nothing. it was a of satire, complete a bit of satire, complete nonsense. harry, course, nonsense. and harry, of course, who one of the people that was criticising and said it was hurtful and horrific has just in his in factor i was his in the x factor i was watching on twitter or listening to he has an absolutely massive go rebecca and uses very go at rebecca and uses very similar language he's similar hyperbolic language he's to do that clarkson's allowed to hate meghan harry's allowed to hate meghan harry's allowed to hate rebecca and this is just fine. he's just called free speech. yeah, absolutely. i mean, also, clarkson's a i mean, his writing and his is very funny. have you got some sympathy with him for saying stuff when he's obviously intense. i mean obviously doesn't he doesn't want doesn't mean he doesn't want meghan to you know, we don't megan to march down the street

with excrement. well we but you know he is being funny. well, he's not being very it came from a tv show so well yeah game of right yeah but i don't know you know it takes a lot of energy to hate and you know i think this guy has got to go look at an ocean for a few days and either decide whether or not he's going to walk in and or not. it's but did he really hate it? he was comedy writing an article and his hate her on cellular level his i hate her on cellular level i but isn't that kind of i know but isn't that kind of funny? mean, will i mean, funny? i mean, will i mean, yeah, is funny, but i mean, yeah, it is funny, but i mean, i hate it on a cellular level. don't you hate, meghan? on a cellular i mean, you cellular level, i mean, you let's get cancelled again for a bit employing the comedic comedic of hyperbole, it comedic tool of hyperbole, it doesn't because doesn't actually hit because it's hate somebody it's impossible to hate somebody on level. he doesn't on a cellular level. he doesn't scream at a picture of her every night when causes is night. that's when he causes is cells under the microscope . cells under the microscope. that's the only way to know for sure isn't it. yeah. so it may a metaphor for screaming. yeah. hey, meghan , you're american. hey, meghan, you're american.

american? i am. but somehow that means i like her for sure. no, i. i do. you know, i don't this into my life and i'm happier for it, so. no opinion on meghan. i do. i stay as my mom tries to bnng do. i stay as my mom tries to bring it up. i'm like, anything else? yeah anyway the last one before the break and thursday's meal. apparently the progressive thing to do is to erase name of a book's author, katherine bookbinder, 23, removes j.k. rowling's name from potter novels. this has removed the name from the harry potter novels amid the furore over the author's alleged transphobia . author's alleged transphobia. replace them with new covers, which are sold fo r £140 each. which are sold for £140 each. artist la flamme embarked on the project to create a safe for. space fans who struggle to align themselves with the views it looks you have to be rich to have a safe space is very expensive. i is a rich person's name . that is the daughter or name. that is the daughter or son or whatever of the of

somebody who's immensely wealthy i mean, it's crazy because she's selling them fo r £979 for a set selling them for £979 for a set of seven an d £140 for each book. of seven and £140 for each book. yeah. so you ge t £1 off if you yeah. so you get £1 off if you buy all seven at the same time. she's one. so january sale. is that that's true this was not a picture of the actual cover. he does most of it because it still says harry potter. so how it just takes her name, takes her it hide that you're it doesn't hide that you're reading harry potter. so what doesit reading harry potter. so what does it achieve? harry does it even achieve? harry potter hasn't anything transphobic cheeky, but transphobic neither cheeky, but nobody i. nobody seems to know. oh, i. so you to read book, but you allow to read the book, but just with her name. and just not with her name. and wouldn't it be smarter to hide completely what book you're reading. i don't call it a different call like the different call it like the guinness records 2012. guinness book of records 2012. it's censorship meets it's where censorship meets opportunism this this all opportunism. this is this all this like you say the prices this is like you say the prices are ridiculous he says are ridiculous and he says things like you know her views raised questions of raised questions the ethics of consuming they consuming her work. no they i get so many comments asking what she's done because she's done nothing the point. nothing that's the whole point. and also people are revealing themselves to be too sick to read harry potter and, they need

to go even lower in the enormous crocodile or the very hungry would more the level of would be more than the level of children's something that pops up your legs. which up when your legs. right, which would appropriate . a would be quite appropriate. a four somebody who identifies another gender. anyway, the last quick break but come back for if you are going on holiday in the philippines you need to come in as we find another planet for humanity to destroy and how to will save our species. i'll see you in a couple of minutes. don't go away away .

welcome back to the final part of headliners tonight and thursday's mirror. no and it seems like the hardest in the world just got a bit harder yet. prince harry, look alike, forced to disguise himself in public as he fears for his life. poor old reece whittock . it's always been reece whittock. it's always been a great thing for them to look like, but that's taken a rather

sharp left turn because of what you said about the taliban. so now his mum's telling him to wear and disguise who he wear glasses and disguise who he is. didn't think that's is. i mean, didn't think that's true. been selfish. i true. he's been so selfish. i mean i mean, i've got a few questions here. i mean, it questions here. i mean, won't it be worst to ever, right? be worst way to die ever, right? someone they think someone because they think you're harry and you're prince harry and you weren't i just some weren't even i mean, just some thinking your harry is bad enough and then you die because of we've got a picture of it. and we've got a picture of it. and we've got a picture of oh you go there. so if of him. oh you go there. so if you're listening the you're if you're listening the radio, can describe you, radio, if i can describe you, it's just a guy who's ginger and the like. prince harry at all? no. smiling in the pic no. is he smiling in the pic where he's been told? he's been told look like harry told he doesn't look like harry if he's actually been if he smiles he's actually been asked to not smile asked at functions to not smile anymore. harry, stop anymore. because harry, stop smiling. media. smiling. you look in the media. there is. meghan it's big. there he is. meghan it's big. meghan ? yeah, i mean, that meghan who? yeah, i mean, that like meghan before she decided she was she was ethnic. i think it's funny his mom said you just have to wear glasses in public now and it's like, well, wouldn't you just be prince in glass? what? what's that glass? like what? what's that going to do, mom? yeah. why is harry the

harry wearing glasses and the other question is if the other is my question is if the fake we spoke showed up, fake harry we spoke showed up, would make notice or is he's would make a notice or is he's such a narcissist that he could live house mansion live in the house or the mansion for about six weeks. a big house. what he just moans house. so what he just moans a bit, doesn't smile. she's like, it's probably him. so when he gets the millionaire gets sick of the millionaire lifestyle california, lifestyle in california, you can just himself with a stunt just swap himself with a stunt double. thing i'm double. yeah. one thing i'm surprised you've noticed surprised about, you've noticed this but this as well, catherine, but prince harry and some other people like anjem choudary, the islamist, they've said now that they've found out that prince harry was shooting the taliban they're going to try and attack prince harry in the british military. what do they think the british was did in afghanistan? they did not know that they were shooting the. are you asking me if i knew that kind of get well i lives in america now i think he lives in america now so like you know par so it's just like you know par for the course right to be handung for the course right to be handling a gun maybe we handling a gun so maybe we should prepare for his move. yeah. ironically my trainer don't say he's from an apache gun. what one thing i want to say to this guy, it is a serious

concern. and if they do, if did attack him, the only way you could you wasn't harry is get out his target and show there's no signs of frostbite that's no signs of frostbite and that's what to do anyway what they'll have to do anyway got out of this . there's so many got out of this. there's so many layers catherine . the surprising layers catherine. the surprising people are smuggling onions into the philippines. onion become such a hot commodity in the philippines amid skyrocketing that they are now being smuggled into country. a price surge sparked a spate of super typhoons damaged crops last year has made the dietary staple for nearly every filipino dish more expensive than beef and chicken ? statistics from the department of agriculture show that the red and white onions were selling for as much as $11 per kilogram, compared to dollars per kilogram for chicken . while onions are for chicken. while onions are like 40 times or three times as expensive as chicken and onions in this country , about a pound a in this country, about a pound a kilo . so we should really be i kilo. so we should really be i mean, isn't this a trade opportunity post—brexit nick to export onions the philippines maybe i mean i've been doing

this show like a year and this the first time i've been truly stumped on what to even say abouti stumped on what to even say about i just don't care at all about i just don't care at all about the export of onions they isuppose about the export of onions they i suppose they care this it's the section of show the fourth section of the show nick talk. we've got nick we can talk. we've got i mean, got a planet mean, we've got a new planet coming up. we've discovered a new earth. good point before. coming up. we've discovered a new no, th. good point before. coming up. we've discovered a newno, i]. good point before. coming up. we've discovered a newno, i]. goosomething ore. coming up. we've discovered a newno, i]. goosomething that's but no, i have something that's got yeah, well, you know, got loads. yeah, well, you know, layers. nick if you're a smuggler there was a major bust in december , 364,000 and dollars in december, 364,000 and dollars worth of onions. which one could you imagine , though, if you had you imagine, though, if you had that kind of money laying around, you're like, forget bitcoin , we're going into bitcoin, we're going into onions. you know. bitcoin, we're going into onions. you know . yeah. like, i onions. you know. yeah. like, i just think , you know, the world just think, you know, the world is incredible place. yeah anyway, moving on. bieber's everybody needs good neighbours and the sun tells us how to get them. nick yes, i'm an etiquette , not me, but that's the headune , not me, but that's the headline eight harmless things. you're doing that secretly driving your neighbours mad. so firstly, it's parking which was pretty obvious and then it's a don't go on post means if your

neighbour takes in a parcel, don't just leave it and don't bother like they're your servant something pal you can misuse street apps, which is a one, but it's there's this thing about veering off topics and if you on this app next door but i don't know what app is anyway. kids being too loud now is a big one that's basically ruined my life for the last five years. that's why myself trying to why i'm killing myself trying to move house working hours move house working all hours because been because these kids have been screaming for five years and you know people are like. know what people are like. there's no parents can there's no parents around can just anything not just do anything you're not allowed that's allowed to hurt them that's actually they're not your actually no if they're not your kids. go. it's frowned kids. there you go. it's frowned upon. least don't use your washing it's for this washing machine. it's for this one have been guilty one i might have been guilty of. and about it. i need and do feel bad about it. i need to myself something to look myself there. something about bins and then. oh yeah, dogs. that's bad one. dogs making lot noise. i had a making a lot noise. i had a dog next door was scratching next door and it was scratching him out with this really big bone kept hitting bone and the bone kept hitting the itself and it sounded the floor itself and it sounded like bloke stuck. and i was the floor itself and it sounded like socket.e stuck. and i was the floor itself and it sounded like socket andjck. and i was the floor itself and it sounded like socket and the and i was the floor itself and it sounded like socket and the plugi was the floor itself and it sounded like socket and the plug scraped the socket and the plug scraped and then like repeatedly and then some like repeatedly dropping mini bowling ball

dropping a mini bowling ball and. i just had to live with that years. and anyway, that for years. and anyway, dunng that for years. and anyway, during everybody bought that for years. and anyway, d|dog| everybody bought that for years. and anyway, d|dog because everybody bought that for years. and anyway, d|dog because evethought, ought that for years. and anyway, d|dog because evethought, you1t a dog because they thought, you know forever know yeah furlough forever and then to to then they had to go back to work. the dog's stuck inside going insane and barking. someone started someone in my block started playing and playing music really loud and said, deejaying for the said, i'm just deejaying for the whole block. no. and i to whole block. no. and i said to do. i stuck a whole lot of these self—appointed thing self—appointed is the same thing we it it was only got we moved it it was only got a couple of minutes left so daily meal nassr have found meal no and nassr have found a habitable like planet. but habitable earth like planet. but this one isn't flat. catherine nasa's tess spacecraft spotted potentially earth potentially habitable earth sized 100 light years away. it was discovered by their plant planet hunting space and it's been given the not particularly glamorous name t oh, i 700 e right. the reason the letter e is there is because astronomers have previously found three planets in the star system. it sits in called toi 700 bc. and d, right . it looks like we've d, right. it looks like we've got a new place . screw up, huh? got a new place. screw up, huh? yeah.i got a new place. screw up, huh? yeah. i just think it's a while to get over 100 light years. it's a pity that nerds named it toi 700 e. you could call it

tori also. why not call it rocky seven? it's rocky. that's bad, isn't it? it sounds like elon musk named as a problem. they discover these things, but they need someone on the marketing. yeah moving on with more science. finally, we've got the story about story in the start about scientists freezing to let's just hope they don't keep it on the as the fish the same shelf as the fish fingers. scientists fingers. nick yeah. scientists huge, massive poo to save mankind extinction. and the mankind from extinction. and the theory is that we're losing our gut and our gut flora , and gut biome and our gut flora, and then we won't know what was then we won't know what it was anymore. need to keep it anymore. so we need to keep it because could seriously because that could seriously endanger what he's endanger that. so what he's doing this guy going doing is there's this guy going around, he's getting poo from all the world, all all around the world, all cultures it and cultures preserving it and they're daniel they're also preserving daniel sloss. about gb sloss. his opinions about gb news and as well . and would you news and as well. and would you like daniel's sloss to insert those opinions into his rectum as well is up to him . i mean, as well is up to him. i mean, him. i just say we will see i think it's crazy. he has a storage facility. how you go about renting los there's no the guy who's you know preserving all the poo like you know the

positive for that. it's got to be insane. yeah but you know, honestly, if poo poo sign me up. i will happily, this guy a sample if there's a payday in it for me well that's that's going go so if he's watching i am i am here to find yeah some of your some of your you need this garage for my preserving the world's faeces okay just backs away so apparently apparently this is useful we get to microbes from other people we use public transport this is way rich people aren't as healthy as poor people because they don't every time you sit down on a bus seat, you get microbes from someone else. i didn't know that navigating the tube again anyway , we better wrap this up. thanks so much and thanks for watching . and thank you, of course, to my brilliant guests tonight, katherine hansen and nick dixon, headliners will be back at 11 pm. tomorrow with simon evans p.m. tomorrow with simon evans and josh hoey and remembers the

hit remember. the headliners is repeated . 1 am. and five in repeated. 1 am. and five in which, if you're up and watching. you've got to stay tuned for the breakfast show just after the break. i think amy's back . so, yes, stay tuned amy's back. so, yes, stay tuned for that. you can also catch up with us on youtube. but thanks for watching today be leo kearse good night by.

and welcome along to wednesday's edition of the mark steyn show. we have a stellar line—up of stories and guest for you as ever and you will not want to miss single second coming up shamima bagan is given a ten part podcast by the bbc . part podcast by the bbc. extremism similarly raises , the extremism similarly raises, the ugly head and the knife attack in paris earlier today and an