hi there. it's 11:00. i'm out hi there. it's11:00. i'm out armstrong in the gb newsroom manchester city footballer benjamin mendy has been found not guilty of raping women and sexually assaulting another dang sexually assaulting another during parties at his cheshire home. the france international was of six rape charges at another sexual assault, but the jury another sexual assault, but the jury at chester crown court were unable to reach a verdict on. one count of rape and one of attempted rape. after a six month long trial. many be retried on those two charges in june. retried on those two charges in june . the threat of strike june. the threat of strike action in scotland's nhs has

been put on hold while negotiations place over a new pay negotiations place over a new pay offer for this year. the unions say fresh talks with the scottish government expected to start next week with any deal raised backdated to this month, january. the royal of nursing and the gmb union rejected a pay offer in november which is worth on average around 7.5. labour sir keir starmer is urging the prime minister to resolve the northern ireland protocol dispute as a matter of urgency . dispute as a matter of urgency. sir keir says if rishi makes a deal to solve problems with the post—brexit trading arrangements, labour will provide the political support to get it through. parliament. sir keir also promised party will remain a good faith guarantor of the good friday. so i say to prime minister , if there is a to prime minister, if there is a to do in coming weeks , do it. do in coming weeks, do it. whatever political cover you need , whatever mechanisms in need, whatever mechanisms in westminster you require , it

westminster you require, it delivers for our national interest and the people of northern ireland. we will you the time when ukrainian volodymyr zelenskyy says , the volodymyr zelenskyy says, the battle for soledar and other and cities in the region of donetsk is continuing. cities in the region of donetsk is continuing . earlier russia's is continuing. earlier russia's military to have taken control of the salt mining which has been the focus of fighting. if confirmed that would represent a rare victory for the kremlin after a series of military setbacks and would also allow russian troops access to the nearby city of back? a cave has denied the claim and insists its forces are still fighting for soledar and people . england are soledar and people. england are being warned to brace themselves for more extreme cold weather over the coming days. the agency has issued 81 flood warnings, mostly in the west and the south—west of england from sunday, though the north, the midlands and central and eastern of the country are expected to

be hit with cold, icy conditions and heavy snow with the met office warning health risks to vulnerable . tv online and dab+ vulnerable. tv online and dab+ radio is gb news. but now it is time for headliners with andrew doyle doyle . doyle doyle. hello and welcome to i'm your host andrew doyle and i'll be taking you through saturday's top stories. and joining me tonight are headline headliners, stalwarts, comedians, roger monkhouse and the big dog nick. let's take a look at tomorrow's page. we're going to start with saturday mail. and this is a story by the dogs. she was paid to walk. absolutely horrific story . be getting to that in a story. be getting to that in a moment. saturday's telegraph has there's enough for another book i cut memoir in half to spare my family according to prince harry

lord help us. saturday's garden party may cut risk of dementia in women. saturday's mirror of elvis's only child lisa marie died of a broken heart and. saturday's times. we need to train more , says nhs chief. the train more, says nhs chief. the express runs with drugs may help fight to halt dementia . and the fight to halt dementia. and the daily star . fight to halt dementia. and the daily star. last tragic fight to halt dementia. and the daily star . last tragic days of daily star. last tragic days of the king's daughter. the curse of . elvis and the king's daughter. the curse of. elvis and those the king's daughter. the curse of . elvis and those where you're of. elvis and those where you're from. covers covers . i'm going from. covers covers. i'm going to kick off with the front of the times. roger, what have they got ? this is the times. roger, what have they got? this is the perennial call , this time from the nhs chief, amanda pritchard . pointing out amanda pritchard. pointing out that we need to train more doctors , which is a big effort. doctors, which is a big effort. it's been for decades. but of course these things can't happen overnight . there's a moral overnight. there's a moral dimension to this of course

because once again, for a generation , been stripping all generation, been stripping all the systems of their medical professionals. yes when the pound was strong , we were pound was strong, we were economically supreme that was, of course, a viable alternative to training our own. yeah but that's increasingly less the case. well, my understanding is there's a lot of excellent candidates who want to be trained as doctors, but not getting in because we don't have the places. absolutely. it's a matter of investing. the institutions and then potentially , i suppose, lowering potentially, i suppose, lowering the standard ever so slightly. but only 18% of applicants apparently are accepted by medical school. that's right. and apparently a lot the people who are rejected are excellent. so it wouldn't even be a matter of lowering the standards, but there no significant or there would be no significant or noticeable lowering of standards. nhs standards. but the nhs potentially would be saving an enormous amount of money on agency staff , which at the agency staff, which at the moment is bleeding the system dry . and she's also saying that dry. and she's also saying that because said that because she said that she doesn't to rely overseas doesn't want to rely on overseas recruitment because nhs recruitment because the nhs really is migrant

really is sustained, is migrant workers. says overreliant on workers. yes says overreliant on foreign staff . amanda i'm not foreign staff. amanda i'm not sort of. keir thomas said recently. people were quite surprised it didn't sound a very sort of leftie thing to. but yeah, people said yeah, people have said this lately. obviously it is a problem. we've got 133 , nhs problem. we've got 133, nhs england 133,000 vacancies. england has 133,000 vacancies. obviously most of those are diversity, inclusion equity diversity, inclusion and equity . doctors, about 12 to . a few are doctors, about 12 to 16 are actual doctors and 7500 medical school places . and as medical school places. and as you say, that hugely over. so the thing is we need more medical schools it sounds like to me we need to say except we have too many people we have too many people doing gender studies and we obviously need a few artsy fartsy people like it should be three. and should just be those three. and then we've become a then because we've become a decade a tertiary economy, decade so a tertiary economy, how more medical how many we need more medical schools, doctors, schools, more doctors, more people i suggest, people accepted. can i suggest, nick, to do nick, that people who want to do gender degrees probably gender studies degrees probably wouldn't get to, in do science wouldn't get to, in do a science degree if put their minds degree if they put their minds to it? how dare you, the of to it? how dare you, the rest of them, put 7 to 7 years them, if they put 7 to 7 years and i know it's your rigorous academic , there are enough

academic, there are enough people who want to become doctors. it's a matter of investing in. there is a doctor that i am a doctor, but not of not not an actual doctor. i'm a doctor. i don't doctor words. of course, these are doctors pretend they don't hold onto one doctor of sonnets not sort of world you want experimenting you know particular. oh that know not particular. oh that we will do if you want me to i can drive around in your innards if that's all the private sector said. yes, exactly. going said. yes, exactly. we're going to the front cover of to go onto the front cover of the express next. what the express next. nick, what have gone? why not? have they gone? why not? yes. hrt, help the hrt, drugs may help fight the whole dementia actually whole dementia is actually this is good news is actually a good news story for once, a kind of potentially good news. so hrt may help is not surprising because hrt, not that surprising because hrt, of in be of course, people in general be more useful like trt and so on. but equates to a brain age several years younger. if you take hrt. so a quarter of women carry a gene called ap e4 drive. it's known as apoe4 or apoe4. but but you and that's that's a bit of a problem but if you take this it's going to help you have better memory and thinking

skills and larger volumes. yeah it's being called andrew doyle level brain volume in the level of brain volume in the article and men and women and. yeah. so if women who carry the april 14th but take hrt get higher scores in attention memory, language and coordination when performing tasks. well on that last one, unless i'm on my i've made a joke but i'm not going to ask you wouldn't you wouldn't would you?i you wouldn't you wouldn't would you? i mean, look, it's good news is alzheimer's. it's such a horrible. oh, horrendous. does news is alzheimer's. it's such a hconlye. oh, horrendous. does news is alzheimer's. it's such a hconlye. oh,forrrendous. does news is alzheimer's. it's such a hconlye. oh,for women?. does news is alzheimer's. it's such a hconlye. oh,for women? i)oes news is alzheimer's. it's such a hconlye. oh,for women? i wasn't it only work for women? i wasn't it only work for women? i wasn't it wasn't clear for me. it's only it's something which is sexually which i think it's something which i think it's saying they found the breakthrough due to hrt use on women. understanding is women. but my understanding is that potentially that could potentially be used more maybe i've made more widely. but maybe i've made that front pages by a that in the front pages by a picture looking flushed picture of pink looking flushed and notice. yeah, and refreshed notice. yeah, that's although i don't that's true. although i don't think that is connected to that story. not. i think story. i hope not. i think that's a that's a different story. but nevertheless, i think covered that. let's move on to the front cover of the paper. this is, uh, this is an absolutely horrible story. roger is dog walking the male of

is the dog walking the male of rome, where this their main rome, where this is their main story. crikey, it's story. but crikey, it's hilarious, you know hilarious, isn't it but you know where are with the daily where you are with the daily mail of course is something to be appreciate it because everything to hell in everything is going to hell in a previously domesticated are turning and we will all turning feral and we will all one day presumably be slow altered by nature revolting against us. well, to be clear, these are not the dogs that attacked were not on dangerous dogs list the dogs you would expect there were two dustbins there, but they were all small dogs. my understanding she was walking dogs at the same time, which is a lot, but that happens quite a lot of walkers. you quite a lot of dog walkers. you see all the time in. the see them all the time in. the parks with many dogs. parks with many, many dogs. yeah. of that yeah. and this of shows that maybe they they they develop that pack mentality when together they together and if they are panicked turn and panicked they can turn and of course of various course because of the various leads trapped . i mean leads she was trapped. i mean this actually horrible this is actually horrible nick. i you say unto i don't know, as you say unto them, sausage dog. i mean, them, a sausage dog. i mean, a weird a lion burger, weird there's a lion burger, which is, of course, a new found and they are massive, though, you that going to you find one that was going to take a dollar and two sausage. but yeah, i mean, it's horrific,

obviously. and tragic. and there but yeah, i mean, it's horrific, obvi an.ly. and tragic. and there but yeah, i mean, it's horrific, obvian interestingjic. and there but yeah, i mean, it's horrific, obvian interesting debate there but yeah, i mean, it's horrific, obvian interesting debate onzre was an interesting debate on twitter this, adjacent twitter about this, an adjacent where was saying that where matt walsh was saying that when million when there's 20 million pit bulls us, there's 20 bulls in the us, there's 20 annual from pit bulls. annual deaths from pit bulls. and to well, and people said to him, well, it's 20 pit bulls and it's 20 million pit bulls and only i know so it's only 20. i know deaths. so it's a very small percentage. and he said, how deaths is too said, how many deaths is too many? some said to many? and in some she said to him, 85,000 because that would be point nought two the be point nought two 5% of the population. and said that population. and he said that was. this is the question. i was. so this is the question. i mean, this saying no mean, we have this saying no there's 0.5% and there's only 0.5% trans and non—binary do non—binary people. how much do we is people being we but this is people being killed so it's much do you killed so it's how much do you adapt society you know should pit bulls and dangerous dogs banned say in this banned though as you say in this case wouldn't even assault case that wouldn't even assault this. also to do this. no. and it's also to do with action, isn't with socialised action, isn't it? understanding is it? i mean, my understanding is that speak people who that when i speak people who breed dogs, you know, pit bulls, staffordshire bull terriers, you know, more know, those kind of more dangerous chows know, those kind of more dan apparently chows know, those kind of more dan apparently on chows know, those kind of more dan apparently on the chows know, those kind of more danapparently on the dog chows know, those kind of more danapparently on the dog less)ws are apparently on the dog less dangerous that if dangerous douglas is that if they're from from they're socialised from from from puppies this doesn't generally doesn't happen. generally this doesn't happen. you to do with you know so it's not to do with the of dog eliminating the breed of dog and eliminating certain way that certain dogs. it's the way that you of course, there's

you try. and of course, there's also argument a lot of also an argument that a lot of these have not been socialised. well they became popular well they became very popular dang well they became very popular during lots during the pandemic. lots they're a dog, but they they're getting a dog, but they weren't. time it weren't. and for a long time it was assumed that dogs other was assumed that dogs and other domestic potentially domestic pets were potentially vectors i vectors of contagion. yes. i mean, remember to the park and mean, i remember to the park and not being able to pet a dog because. oh, no, you weren't allowed you weren't allowed to pet and it turned out pet dogs. that and it turned out to nonetheless, just to be bogus. nonetheless, just as again and as with smoking again and arguably all of us, we became socialised. socialised by isolation. yeah, absolutely . but isolation. yeah, absolutely. but they are animals. they are wolves , essentially. anyway, i'm wolves, essentially. anyway, i'm going to move on now to the front cover of telegraph. nick, what if they run away? well, it's more harry's stuff and he doesn't offer another book. i got to spend my family. this says another book. i don't if he means of facebook, i think he means of facebook, i think he means a second book. i mean, imagine because i thought was already going to be four but he says i mean half the spam i found me i'm not sure that's why called spare or that's just a mere pun he's mere unfortunate pun but he's saying put the real stuff

saying if he put the real stuff the king in the prince of wales would never forgive him. imagine how the stuff is. i do how bad the real stuff is. i do in he's put it in his box in the he's put it in his box this is the edited version this is a is the safe version. is a this is the safe version. i mean he said it was an 800 page stuff he thinks he's tolstoy. he's a mere 400 he's got it down to a mere 400 pages. it's literally genius, andrew. it's like priest the first was prince. it was all first one was prince. it was all about cakes and he about smelling cakes and he write course. mean, he write it, of course. i mean, he has ghost—writer how? you has a ghost—writer how? you know, business, his know, his business, his ghost—writer a very ghost—writer said it was a very accomplished winning accomplished award winning writer. is it writer. he wrote memoir is it actually it some some. did actually was it some some. did he that's fake a book. oh, he say that's a fake a book. oh, he's spokesman oh, maybe i'll read so i like agassi read this then. so i like agassi and he's interesting one of and he's interesting is one of the i don't understand the things i don't understand about this book is if in a lot talk about harry's writing style and he didn't and all this stuff, he didn't write that. he was write it like that. he was another write writer another write the ghost writer found harry's voice quite well. that's idea. that's the that's the idea. that's the idea. show up idea. so that he might show up and harry reads the audible. so he's got a great so he's good at reading as himself. yeah reading as himself. but yeah it's matt, it? and said it's matt, isn't it? and he said that said hobbit was that he said the hobbit was taking out . what did he

taking things out. what did he take he's talked take out? i mean, he's talked his first bit told his first bit and told you everything's like don't everything's in like we don't need literally need to know literally everything. he the everything. he sees the frostbitten penis is about himself. he's not throwing anyone bed. an anyone under the bed. i read an amusing suggestion was amusing suggestion that he was actually stitched up by actually badly stitched up by his might have his ghost—writer. it might have perhaps advice perhaps would have been advice to recommend . various sections to recommend. various sections were removed , for instance, the were removed, for instance, the kill count . well, exaggeration kill count. well, exaggeration on the base. do you think that there's any possibility reconciliation now given the things that he said about his brother? i mean, he's often dark. he's often about how he mistrusts the media and that they overshare private details. he's publishing text he's been publishing text messages from , members of his messages from, members of his own family. how will they feel about well, i'm disgusted about that? well, i'm disgusted and furious and rightly so. it's obvious hypocrisy claims obvious hypocrisy when he claims here he needed to include those bits of to tell the story without their inclusion really how did you the text. can how did you need the text. can i just add one thing. yeah. just add one last thing. yeah. you meghan, there's you know, meghan, there's been silence meghan's silence throughout this meghan's playing she's playing it very cool she's looking she spoke looking at you think she spoke out him harry's great out defending him harry's great man told this

man he's how you told this story. nothing. i've heard nothing of she's waiting to nothing of it. she's waiting to see plays she see how this plays out. she decides what do next. so i'll decides what to do next. so i'll say, you going to read the say, are you going to read the book? which one? meghan's well, of course. harry's book, yeah. oh, no, no. i we've all oh, no, no. i think we've all the haven't we. but the experts, haven't we. but then why are people buying it? so in droves, given that so in their droves, given that we everything that the we know everything that the juicy bits have already been? i think it's think that's journalist it's think that's journalist it's think journalists in spain think just journalists in spain is there. yeah, probably. is out there. yeah, probably. okay now to the okay we're going go now to the front of roger what front cover of the roger what they this is once again my they go oh this is once again my sad story. showbusiness death. lisa died of a broken heart. sad story. showbusiness death. lisa died of a broken heart . a lisa died of a broken heart. a full never recovered after the suicide of a 27 year old son two years ago. i honestly , i'm not years ago. i honestly, i'm not familiar with the tawdry details of the dynasty, but it is a it's of the dynasty, but it is a it's of course, it's horrendous. it's always sad . you see people always sad. you see people wrecked by a public life in way that such people apparently are. but then it could, of course just be a congenital heart defect and it might as well something which is going to happen. we absolutely don't know. but of course 54 is very

young and. yeah. and it's a very sad, very sad story. she was seen a few ago at an awards seen a few days ago at an awards ceremony, was at golden ceremony, was at the golden globes think of those globes think one of those aunfies globes think one of those aunties was a talking aunties and she was a talking about movie. and about the new elvis movie. and you such a surprise you know it's such a surprise when sorts things when these sorts of things happen, but they do anyway , happen, but they do anyway, that's the of part one. but that's the end of part one. but do after the break. for do join us after the break. for midwives revolt, cigarette sales up in smoke and economic policy from the greatest political mine of a generation , gary lineker. of a generation, gary lineker. see you in a moment.

welcome back to headline is with me, andrew doyle and, my fantastic comedian panel comprised of roger doesn't need a nickname monkhouse and the big dog chad topped dj legend dixon making kick off now thank you for getting that right of course. but i wouldn't dare get it wrong will be on saturday's

times now and how do we how we get the possible get the best possible politicians ask britain's politicians. let's ask britain's best crisp gary lineker. best loved crisp gary lineker. what he say. yeah going to pay more mps to attract greatest minds this a terrible moment because i agree . gary lineker. because i agree. gary lineker. now you have come back . i was now you have come back. i was making this point the other day. it's that meme, the worst person you know just made a good point. gary made gary lineker has made a reasonable point here that we reasonable point here that if we paid politicians might paid politicians more. we might get people. i mean, get the best people. i mean, they salary, 84,000 they get basic salary, 84,000 goes up 106 for junior minister, cabinet minister , 150 goes up 106 for junior minister, cabinet minister ,150 1 goes up 106 for junior minister, cabinet minister ,1501 p.m. cabinet minister, 150 1 pm. hundred and 59 something. yeah. it's not, it's not low when you think about the responsibility of the job and nothing compared to what they might get in industrial commerce. yes. if they could get those jobs and yeah, mean and as a poll yeah, i mean and as a poll people have compared it to various other jobs. the people have compared it to various otherjobs. the british pubuc various otherjobs. the british public believe it's be public believe it's to be a surgeon, nurse , firefighter, surgeon, nurse, firefighter, which fair enough. so they which is fair enough. so they think it's easier running the country, journalist, country, being a journalist, banker professional banker or professional footballer. lineker is footballer. and gary lineker is saying very to be that saying it's very hard to be that you but obviously

you get paid, but obviously it's incredibly competitive and not many people do it. so the many people can do it. so the question , you rather be question emerges, you rather be ronaldo rees—mogg. ronaldo or jacob rees—mogg. that's like that's really what i really like is. assumption underpins mr. is. the assumption underpins mr. lineker's observation , that he lineker's observation, that he is paid an amount of money, which is commensurate with his own colossal intellect. yes. yeah well, he does say here he wouldn't be to run himself for politics. so however, that's the way alone will be great. i mean, you this isn't a you were saying this on the show. the other that you know politician is it possible gary lineker was watching the show and he's actually i think probably the way influenced way was influenced by this courtesy and said that we courtesy of and he said that we should have a sort ceo ceo model for running things you know because lost ideology because we've of lost ideology in all we now is a in our politics. all we now is a sort battle for competence sort of battle for competence amongst wing amongst, various left wing parties. may as well parties. and so you may as well have most competent person have the most competent person as argument will. certainly as my argument will. certainly have is have a political class which is underwhelming extreme. have a political class which is undeitvhelming extreme. have a political class which is undeit begs|ing extreme. have a political class which is undeit begs all extreme. have a political class which is undeit begs all sorts extreme. have a political class which is undeit begs all sorts of extreme. and it begs all sorts of questions about how we get questions about how how we get them there's been a couple of very good is it bill hofmann's written a good jeremy written a good book. jeremy paxman good book about

paxman written a good book about the because of the political. and because of the political. and because of the that works in the way that politics works in this country, does to this country, it does to engender a very mediocre political class . but will it political class. but will it solve it just pay people more? well, that's what i wonder. i rather i mean, well, that's what i wonder. i ratheri mean, i made this well, that's what i wonder. i rather i mean, i made this point to nick the other day that i think that we already have a problem where we don't have vocational have vocational politicians, we have careerist politicians and. if you could the ante on you could just up the ante on the money, it's going the money, you just it's going to exacerbate problem and the money, you just it's going to makes bate problem and the money, you just it's going to makes you problem and the money, you just it's going to makes you feel problem and the money, you just it's going to makes you feel slightlyn and the money, you just it's going to makes you feel slightly for1d it makes you feel slightly for a time when, of course the elite of the public schools would go forward of forward with this sense of pubuc forward with this sense of public service and duty right and they would of it was public service and duty right a|stateey would of it was public service and duty right a|state staterld of it was public service and duty right a|state state andf it was public service and duty right a|state state and the it was public service and duty right a|state state and the obvious as public service and duty right a|state state and the obvious to a state state and the obvious to say that we lost a lot of talent down pits and up the down the pits and up the chimneys. but chimneys. yeah but notwithstanding elite , notwithstanding that the elite, the at least came forward the class at least came forward serve the public in these roles . it wasn't ideal because for me so. but wasn't as bad as matt hancock essentially. and the only thing is i think the county point is that they would have to do certain of business do a certain amount of business experience other experience experience or other experience like, then the like, a normal job, and then the job say this job requirement would say this this experience

this much experience and something like a normal something else like a normal job application, pm application, you want to be pm you've to have five years in you've got to have five years in a, you know business plus excel good could well good could you. well increasingly course increasingly doesn't of course people hinterland people no longer have hinterland i know come from i know you don't come from business other i know business and other i know i understand as understand my career as politicians but i mean i'm saying get round it with my application in theory. so you have to do a bit of both. yeah they are doing otherjobs. do their and maybe they're their income and maybe they're not nevertheless not therefore focussed sufficiently, focussed the job sufficiently, maybe higher wages could resolve that. bit sceptical. that. i'm just a bit sceptical. don't think i don't think politicians getting politicians should be getting into the right. into it for the money. right. what i'm is what i agree with that and by the way gary lineker says new pie be called says his new pie will be called the centre forward pie is the centre forward pie which is very cringe and is very cringe. okay, we're going to move to saturday there's saturday telegraph. there's something sinister in the water might tricky might just be those tricky mermaids. what, do you mermaids. roger what, do you think? this is the ability think? well, this is the ability of the charity mermaids to continue to hold its tentacles in the organisations of the nhs that are now replacing tavistock

clinic. tavistock is now shut. we should clarify that the tavistock clinic is the paediatric gender clinic. so gender clinic aimed at children which now shut down because of the cas review , which determined the cas review, which determined that it was unsafe for young people because it was fast tracking young kids on to puberty blockers and, irreversible surgery and they were course, of ideological were of course, of ideological capture that mermaids the trans activist charity was dominating the processes at the tavistock offered yes and mermaids is once being brought in by the nhs to fulfil the same function provide training for services that replace the now defunct tavistock. so why do they never learn i mean obviously the whole reason why the had to be shuttered because it was in thrall to gender identity ideology the very ideology that mermaids peddles. so why bring them again? nick, what's what's going madness going on here? it's madness i mean, like got mean, it's like it's like got away from joker. but you've away from the joker. but you've been by the penguin. been rescued by the penguin. it's it's it's like. it's like it's ultimate. i mean, what's what's

that basis hydro that mythical basis at the hydro where you keep cutting off the head of the other one's pop up. it's hydra of wokeness it's the hydra of wokeness andrew okay. andrew we thought we'd go, okay. we the tavistock. we closed on the tavistock. who's the saying, it's who's doing the saying, oh, it's mermaid. it's a sick joke. why is mermaids still even going? i think goes to show. think it just goes to show. well, they're our under investigation that well, they're our under invest mermaids that well, they're our under invest mermaids at that well, they're our under invest mermaids at the that well, they're our under invest mermaids at the moment the about mermaids at the moment the charity but just charity commission but it just goes the extent to which goes to show the extent to which the nhs is completely ideologically at every ideologically captured at every level this again level and we've seen this again and with their annexe b and again with their annexe b with the that they don't with the fact that they don't accommodate single by accommodate by single set by their accommodate their own sex, they accommodate them they them by gender identity, they just call it single sex accommodation. i mean this is i know. problem is when know. and the problem is when you and about with you try and talk about it with the from football which, the lads from football which, which real example me, which is a real example for me, i play football and i speak to normal people sometimes in week and really know the and they don't really know the extent stuff they know extent this stuff and they know because talking about it because we're talking about it all and they it's all the time and they think it's sort it's real. sort of exaggerated. it's real. yes. mean, if a child is very yes. i mean, if a child is very confused about the agenda and they go along a clinic, the they go along to a clinic, the last that is good for them last thing that is good for them is to be told, yes, the way

you've self—diagnosed is absolutely. going absolutely. and we're just going to on to puberty to put you on to puberty blockers. that's it. blockers. now, that's it. because was effectively because that was effectively what and spoke what was happening. and i spoke i to a as someone who's i spoke to a as someone who's had surgery and has had to undo this surgery and has had to undo this surgery and has had removed, all sorts had to undo this surgery and has ha horrible removed, all sorts had to undo this surgery and has ha horrible things. ved, all sorts had to undo this surgery and has ha horrible things. and all sorts had to undo this surgery and has ha horrible things. and itl sorts had to undo this surgery and has ha horrible things. and it wasts of horrible things. and it was to sessions before this pathway started to set. i mean, that's all, not going all, you know. so it's not going at anyway onto the next at all anyway onto the next story. now we are going for the midwives. this is in the telegraph. midwives are telegraph. the midwives are revolting. well, revolting. what's this? well, this a little this is actually a little bit good on this of woke good news on this sort of woke front. yeah. nhs u—turns on transgender for maternity transgender plans for maternity care midwives care after midwives revolt. sounds or sounds like an ancient battle or uprising in 81. but uprising from the in 81. but yeah and this from with yeah it's and this from with woman and basically it was nhs england trying sort thing england was trying to sort thing going they'd going where they'd run a training trans and training thing for trans and non—binary people which training thing for trans and nc notiinary people which training thing for trans and nc not a|ary people which training thing for trans and ncnot a real people which training thing for trans and ncnot a real thing people which training thing for trans and ncnot a real thing and ople which training thing for trans and ncnot a real thing and this which training thing for trans and ncnot a real thing and this was:h is not a real thing and this was going to cost is not a real thing and this was going to cos t £100,000 going to cost £100,000 of taxpayers from taxpayers money this was from the foundation were the lgbt foundation who were also the people. by the way, he suggested we call and suggested we call nieces and nephews and siblings. i like that. really like labelling, that. i really like labelling, but is like going to eat but this is like going to eat them, wouldn't put it them, which you wouldn't put it past them. but this is a 300 nurses have rebelled and to

lizzie to nhs lizzie street to the nhs national programme manager national lgbt programme manager and has to stop. and and said this has to stop. and now been paused and it's now it has been paused and it's not going to happen. now it looks this an example of looks like this is an example of a rebellion. it it a grassroots rebellion. it it goes what saying goes against what we were saying that the perhaps isn't that the nhs perhaps isn't ideologically captured at all levels because this is apparently from the ground the point is that it's captured at the top, it's covered amongst administration . and the administration. and the management management, same management the management, same personnel, course . but then personnel, of course. but then on ground, i mean, the on the ground, i mean, the midwives about biology more midwives know about biology more than anyone because. they're there. ones have there. they're the ones who have to it's boy or girl, don't to say it's a boy or girl, don't flip a coin. don't assign flip a coin. they don't assign a sex at birth. they and sex at birth. they record and observe a at birth. and so observe a sex at birth. and so they of people will be the they of all people will be the ones. but i mean, i can't get overidea ones. but i mean, i can't get over idea of nibbling a gender neutral where. does that come for of for what's the etymology of this? like a tokenistic this? that's like a tokenistic kind oh the nibbling, kind of thing. oh the nibbling, the is it? what the back. what is it? what does mean? what does any of they're nibbling? oh, sibling, niece, nephew, siblings actually nephew, siblings is actually talking is just talking level and is just imagine little puckish creatures that live the you're too that live in the you're too

highbrow for these people andre they put through even to they haven't put through even to your evidence okay we're your level evidence okay we're going mail going to with the daily mail now. we stubbing out now. could we stubbing out cigarettes for good? nick, is this nanny state or a this needless nanny state or a goodidea? this needless nanny state or a good idea? well, this is one of my many. i feel bad. so over half of its want immediate end to cigarette sales. the reason i feel bad is as daily. i'm deputy editor of the daily sceptic knowledge as you know. so i'm sort of meant to be more libertarian on things on that. but on cigarettes i've but actually on cigarettes i've become very i become sort of very vicious. i hate them much. yeah, because the smell can come your flat, even from someone else's even if it's from someone else's flat. get from them. flat. can't get away from them. that in clubs that would have been in clubs when i was doing comedy for 11 years and they took them out of pubs, of but now they pubs, of course, but now they might with them completely might get with them completely and it's nanny and i hate it because it's nanny state but same state nonsense, but at same time i hate cigarettes. much. so i hate cigarettes. so much. so i'm the only difference is at least i admit i'm a fascist on this they don't do this whereas they they don't do it. general i hate this it. so in general i hate this kind safety and new kind of safety ism and new zealand obviously done it and they've that one born they've said that no one born after 2008 buy tobacco.

after 2008 can buy tobacco. children the crash, the sort of financial crash. but and financial crash. but yeah, and we're about doing it we're thinking about doing it here the point 52. what's here to the point 52. what's support on support an outright block on buying with it 31% backing support an outright block on blstrongly with it 31% backing support an outright block on blstrongly just ith it 31% backing support an outright block on blstrongly just 24% 31% backing support an outright block on blstrongly just 24% against:king support an outright block on blstrongly just 24% against but] it strongly just 24% against but a anyone them. not just a block on anyone them. not just younger comes younger people. yes this comes from online, just research from mail online, just research i do you think, i don't. so do you not think, though, i mean, we know though, right? i mean, we know from history this kind of from the history of this kind of ban, mean, prohibition be the ban, i mean, prohibition be the most obvious example is it? as soon as you ban a product that people want, are, let's people want, people are, let's say, glamorise it. say, addicted, you glamorise it. you criminal you cameras and the criminal gangs and it becomes gangs get hold of and it becomes a black market. in fact, a big black market. yes in fact, these work is what these bans never work is what saying. i'm very much inclined to agree that and i'm like to agree with that and i'm like you, conflicted this you, i'm conflicted on this because ex—smoker i really because as an ex—smoker i really like smoke free environments like the smoke free environments we've it's on the we've created and it's on the whole very thing that whole a very good thing that people falling over with all people are falling over with all the diseases associated with smoking . terrific that it's in smoking. terrific that it's in decline. but at the same time, people who are dead, who continue to smoke and, enjoy smoking, i think have the right to smoke own homes and to smoke their own homes and outdoors and think just outdoors and think it just indicates really a violent indicates really what a violent people i mean, so many

people we are. i mean, so many people we are. i mean, so many people are apparently in favour . simply banning. no one is arguing that , you know, that arguing that, you know, that everyone knows they're bad everyone knows that they're bad for knows the for you. everyone knows the extent much damage they extent of how much damage they can so? i think can do. you think so? i think that, know, now people that, you know, now people smoke. nonetheless, drink smoke. nonetheless, we drink nonetheless, even though we know how for us. how bad that is for us. and i think in a free society, we should be allowed to damage our own bodies if we want to. yeah, and not of these, not as and i'm not one of these, not as you said, shouldn't get you said, there shouldn't get health or something health treatment or something like when we have some people then vaccinated and then to get vaccinated and certain piers morgan certain people like piers morgan saying, they shouldn't have health obviously health treatment. but obviously if you happen to have eaten a bit too much smoked or drank bit too much or smoked or drank or had a vaccine, you should or not had a vaccine, you should still treatment, still health treatment, you know. if you know. yeah, absolutely. if you have a vaccine, for that have had a vaccine, for that matter, move to the store. matter, let's move to the store. and can agree that and i think can all agree that these fines are rubbish. these council fines are rubbish. half losses from this. the half the losses from this. the lady been fined for lady who has been fined for hundred pounds consequently feels bullied. i think that's her council her own word by the council because what she did basically , because what she did basically, she picked up a load of litter that had been spread all over the place by foxes , birds,

the place by foxes, birds, seagulls , presumably picked it seagulls, presumably picked it all up, put it in a little bit and was to follow it. i find hundred pounds. so she tried to, right? yes. and it's completely that she was fine d £400. that she was fined £400. decisive bullet , a bit stupid, decisive bullet, a bit stupid, but obviously wrongly penalised is the appropriate phrase i cursed. being middle class isn't . it you pick up litter in a passive aggressive angry i do it myself but it's quite of course for the council to find a so it's probably just law somebody. well it's not you sinister isn't it to imagine how she was found out i mean i don't know whether she was dumped in eyewitnesses or whether she was caught on cctv. i have no it's not clear from the article what the circumstances were. it's to make any comment. cctv know how much we've got. well yeah. i mean you say it's a middle, middle class and she's called olivia, which sounds like a middle class delivery. the olivia

delivery. it's the olivia post, but again, it's grim state but it's again, it's grim state soviet . roger says soviet stuff as. roger says she's wrong to say that it's bullying. it's more just sort of although they for the although they have for the assassins who work on fly tipping so maybe that if it's isis, it be bullying isis, it might be bullying because be a much because that would be a bit much when i visit vanessa for a bit of lets of yeah that's all for part two join us the break part two join us after the break for quantum apocalypse some for the quantum apocalypse some naughty and the real naughty chadians and the real reason kids don't to go naughty chadians and the real retschool. kids don't to go naughty chadians and the real retschool. spoilerlids don't to go naughty chadians and the real retschool. spoiler its don't to go naughty chadians and the real retschool. spoiler it was n't to go to school. spoiler it was knocked down. we'll see you just in a couple minutes.

welcome back to headline as we may. andrew doyle is your first look at saturday's news papers. we're going to kick this section off with the telegraph. bad news for this for campers, roger. what's this about this is the story about wow, this is the story about wow, this is the story about. about wow, this is the story about . the 1995 legislation

about. the 1995 legislation being clarified . the high court being clarified. the high court at, the request of landowners, alex on the dark wall and investment manager and his wife diana and the high court has announced or pronounced that wild is legal on. dartmoor this this makes me furious. i camped literally on the perimeter of dartmoor this summer what ? the dartmoor this summer what? the national park? you mean the national park? you mean the national within the national park of dartmoor within the boundaries. it was previously considered presumed to be legal wild camping. now it's illegal throughout england and wales. yes, it's legal in scotland. interestingly okay. far more . interestingly okay. far more. but these. these people , the but these. these people, the army, these are the landowners . army, these are the landowners. absolutely. but it is common. you're allowed to consequently graze, your stuff and access is . so they've now clarified by going to the high court that they're not allowed to wild camp that and this is just a point of

view because this is one of the activities you do. i'm disappointed because i pa y £20 disappointed because i pay £20 a night for the privilege of camping dartmoor, as a matter of fact. so someone, someone clearly coming this good. clearly saw me coming this good. is i surely, you is it, nick? i mean, surely, you know i inheritance the know it's i inheritance the countryside. well, countryside. yes. well, obviously rambler obviously i'm a rambler from manchester song goes, manchester way as the song goes, it's true because my it's almost true because my mum's family from manchester and i'm but i am i'm from the country, but i am torn one should be able torn because one should be able torn because one should be able to but again, to ramble. but then again, i also believe in private property of kind american of these kind of american libertarian gun owning type people, i mean, you people, you know, i mean, you know, i mean, i know. but i'd like to be so you'd like to the point is it is private property. now, there's a of a now, there's a bit of a compromise because. they're saying they're allowed to walk in, but they just in, of course, but they just camp on so the camp on it. so that's the debate. so maybe i mean, can still ramble, but they can't. any camp is already rambling. is it? torn on it? i'm honestly torn on this because understand wild because i understand that wild campers a lot of campers do create a lot of debhs campers do create a lot of debris a lot of mess, but that's illegal actually, illegal anyway, actually, because you're littering illegal anyway, actually, beceyes, you're littering illegal anyway, actually, beceyes, course'e littering illegal anyway, actually, beceyes, course it littering illegal anyway, actually, beceyes, course it willring illegal anyway, actually, beceyes, course it will ifg and yes, of course it will if you allow wild camping . it's you allow wild camping. it's just a fact of life. does anyone need to own all these thousands of acres? countryside. well, that's if stephanie, you

that's it. if stephanie, you left the argument, we should get the out there for camping the sense out there for camping related flytipping. i am of the opinion that british opinion that the british countryside to protected from countryside to be protected from the underclass i to the urban underclass. i have to say that first summer after lockdown when no one was allowed to go abroad , consequently they to go abroad, consequently they weren't going to arianna and they going to majorca. they weren't going to majorca. yeah, all yeah, yeah. i base they're all the magnets of detritus that ordinarily exist . the magnets of detritus that ordinarily exist. i'm the magnets of detritus that ordinarily exist . i'm sure you ordinarily exist. i'm sure you discover, just as i did on days out into the countryside it was overrun by horrendous people and there was litter and wrappers from from fast everywhere it was awful it was especially bad because they couldn't go into the businesses because. they were shut down. they were just bringing their littering bringing their food littering where my parents live, everywhere from, the everywhere where i'm from, the beautiful lot of the beautiful lakes, a lot of the buildings, . well, and buildings, disgusting. well, and it was just awful. all the it was just awful. so all the things need to keep plebs things we need to keep the plebs out countryside. oh, out of the countryside. oh, you need send to the need to send them to the mediterranean on annual mediterranean on an annual basis. happy. fair basis. keep them happy. fair enough, very militant of enough, roger, very militant of you. move on to you. we're going to move on to the the most trusting the times. the most trusting neighbourhoods, uk. neighbourhoods, the uk. nick.

yes well, the most first time of us being discovered and ben is one of them and i used live up the road from there actually out in the green. i've never heard of ben . it's in sheffield of ben. it's in sheffield counties bar , it's just up the counties bar, it's just up the hill from hunter's bar live hill from hunter's bar used live and trusting that you and it's so trusting that you can want to pay in the shop, can if want to pay in the shop, you can just say you'll pay another time. you can give someone card. it's andrew, it's like canada or the past. okay. yeah, it's a completely different world. and of course the nicer. i'm from the the north is nicer. i'm from the north can't do kind north and you can't do that kind of thing. although weirdly of thing. so although weirdly swindon and north east swindon and wigan and north east are least are the most are the least are the most suspicious of neighbours, while st hertfordshire at least st us in hertfordshire at least are i me are the most. so i don't me understand that maybe swindon and wigan in north—east lincolnshire smarter , lincolnshire are just smarter, all it's all about all human nature. it's all about affluence, it's cause and effect. i that they're effect. i hope that they're looking for because they, they observe . it's perfectly observe. it's perfectly reasonable to observe this , that reasonable to observe this, that trust communities is trust in communities is associated with higher economic growth and productivity. but it's a mental health, labour, truancy and better public services. that's happening. services. oh, that's happening. there a cause effect and

there is a cause and effect and of more , affluent, more of course more, affluent, more homogenous, stable homogenous, more stable communities tend, naturally enough to be more because there's a lot more to trust . there's a lot more to trust. yeah, yeah, fair enough. we're going to move to on today's guardian. now, it turns out making home for making kids stay home for a couple of years has changed their perception couple of years has changed theirperception attending couple of years has changed their perception attending . their perception of attending. wow. wow once again, this is of course , yet another unforced course, yet another unforced scene effect consequence of lockdown manifesting itself. there is absentee rates . schools there is absentee rates. schools have have gone up enormously and showed no sign of coming down. that's surprising. you know, they've been in lockdown, been doing these lessons over zoom. but i thought that would be desperate to get back to sending them to school. them away and back to school. well of course, arguably, the same thing is happening in workplace. going workplace. people aren't going back all. and to some back to work at all. and to some extent this reflecting more contemporary advice, which is that a or that if you have a cold or flu then shouldn't jeopardise then you shouldn't jeopardise your workmates by going into

school or what is it? your workmates by going into school or what is it ? people school or what is it? people just spend a lot of time at home dang just spend a lot of time at home during pandemic and suddenly during the pandemic and suddenly thought actually i quite like lazing my living lazing around my pyjamas living quite because i've quite like this because i've been surveys that been there've been surveys that suggested significant suggested a significant of people now people never want to work now young people i think with something like one in young something like one in ten young people never wanted people saying they never wanted to course the hard to work. but of course the hard brick hit them brick of reality will hit them at point and they'll have at some point and they'll have to. going on here, to. but what's going on here, nick? mean. well, kids not nick? i mean. well, kids not going to school. they've broken school what's happened. school is what's happened. i mean? was great mean? lockdown was the great crime. thought could just crime. we thought could just turn off like an turn society on and off like an old can't. things go old pc. but you can't. things go wrong. don't get now. the wrong. they don't get now. the only, of course pluses. while it's bad education, at least it's bad for education, at least they're the of they're not getting the sort of leftie brainwashing the leftie brainwashing in the schools. i'm raj. i'm schools. i'm sorry, raj. i'm just have to. i have just saying i have to. i have say certain amount of say woke a certain amount of time, so. i mean, so time, especially so. i mean, so that's only plus side i can that's the only plus side i can see. but i mean, you know, i don't understand how it be don't understand how it can be once kids that they don't once kids are that they don't want be in. know, want to be in. you know, i would've they would be would've thought they would be more about or more enthusiastic about it. or is do with homeschooling is it to do with homeschooling it to do with do you want to go

to school? mm no, i wasn't to school? mm no, but i wasn't at school when there was a pandemic and know the pandemic on and you know the teachers, know who taught teachers, i know who taught dang teachers, i know who taught during they're during that lockdown. they're experience was that the kids hated it. they hated the fact that they weren't with the other kids. they weren't socialising. absolutely it absolutely as a parent. and it was horrendous was a horrendous was a horrendous duration and. and also you scratch surface i'm also if you scratch surface i'm livid about the fact that daughter out a of daughter missed out on a year of schooling it's horrendous. now the event the whole the whole event enshrined privilege , enshrined enshrined privilege, enshrined disadvantage because of course the good schools more up the good schools were more up speed were fully speed and they were fully supported by tech , home and in supported by tech, home and in school . my daughter goes to school. my daughter goes to quite a good school and it still them an awful long time to get up to speed. home schooling and the schools. the schools in the bad schools. the schools in the bad schools. the schools in the areas. sink the sink areas. the sink schools. yeah never got up to speed, of course those kids are the precisely are the ones precisely who are affected. tell us someone said a bizarre video said by bizarre video they said by a mutual friend. oh, he's he's not as leftwing as you think. he was like was against school. like he was against the school. how even unpack that? how do i even unpack that? because you it just it because as you said, it just it just privilege more. just entrenches privilege more. why was it right wing position

why was it a right wing position to we probably close down to say we probably close down the schools, left the right, so now it's mad it's culture now it's mad and it's culture wars completely destabilised everything. we're going to move on is daily star on now to this is the daily star football . players have been football. players have been caught lying about their age . caught lying about their age. chad booted out of and it doesn't mean a sort of big alpha male because if you've been on the internet too much, you might think it is that but actually chadis think it is that but actually chad is a country andrew and they were kicked of the i'm they were kicked out of the i'm familiar i'm just fancy and couldn't put it on a map though you really have got to place it a nor can i place the a map yet nor can i place the age of their players because they've been done for having they've been done for having they've engaging fraud they've been engaging in fraud over their players over the age of their players have to cameroon did the same thing this is the un the 74 thing this is in the un the 74 cup of nations mistaken people in about 6070 is old and in there about 6070 is old and they did that. that's not true. they did mri test to out they did an mri test to find out there were different age . it say there were different age. it say what age they were, but presumably and presumably the wrong age. and there obviously man there 21 players obviously man squad that failed the test so they have to be under 70. yes

they're all and there's only three teams left participate three teams left to participate because everyone's kicked because everyone's been kicked out. been thing for out. there's been a thing for a while. there was virgin media out. there's been a thing for a whilthat|ere was virgin media out. there's been a thing for a whilthat famously�*irgin media out. there's been a thing for a whilthat famously in in media out. there's been a thing for a whilthat famously in the iedia out. there's been a thing for a whilthat famously in the italia and that famously in the italia 90 world cup and he was cameroon but 40 going, yeah, but it was about 40 going, yeah, yeah no knew how old he yeah, no one knew how old he was. so he was brilliant. but yeah, so that's that's basically i a it's a timeless way of i it's a it's a timeless way of cheating, better cheating, isn't it? it's better that you one of the that when you play one of the really rough schools and they all turn up and they're all hairy knuckled. yeah. does. yes. and they're if they and like they're 21 even if they might yeah but might be technically. yeah but i think mean i'm not a sports think i mean i'm not a sports person but i thought the thrill of participation fairness of participation was fairness and is this about and fact and what is this about the no, winning all the win? no, it's winning all costs. the other costs. and also the other interesting is that they're doing of and doing mri tests of tennis and that's was proposed. the that's what was proposed. the other day for migrants lying their coming to the their age, coming to the country. swell of country. so apparently swell of problems the problems over there studying the chad to learn chad football team to learn about policy it's as simple about the policy it's as simple as doing mri test on your as doing an mri test on your wrist i understand that . is that wrist i understand that. is that right? i think about right? i think it's about statistics. to be a statistics. yes. it used to be a t a dental check for age that would be a bit much for a

football team. and it would take to play much of a part in the game. no. well understanding of football is that that the do not get involved. generally i last story this section is the story in this section is the male quantum roger my favourite story in this section is the ma subjecttum roger my favourite story in this section is the ma subject once loger my favourite story in this section is the ma subject once again ny favourite story in this section is the ma subject once again this|vourite story in this section is the ma subject once again this is urite all subject once again this is the male doing what it does best by discovering forthcoming for by discovering a forthcoming for all to get excited and hysterical about. it's just years away . this is apparently years away. this is apparently the quantum apocalypse is . the the quantum apocalypse is. the oncoming supercomputer which will be capable of unravelling the codes which keep all safe and allows us level of cyber security . so in other words, security. so in other words, computers are going to kill us. yeah, well, computers going to make bank transfers and transactions online safe and indeed private conversation if it's conducted . yeah, well, this it's conducted. yeah, well, this is just i mean it's conducted. yeah, well, this isjust i mean , is it it's conducted. yeah, well, this is just i mean , is it just me? is just i mean, is it just me? but there seems to be a lot of news stories at the moment about i and the way that computer

systems taking over. yeah and you know worked because i'm you know it's worked because i'm pretty know don't pretty scared you know i don't like this surely for years and friction has has gone along with hacking hasn't it . surely if you hacking hasn't it. surely if you invest enough obviously you have to continually update but at the same super computers that threaten encryption could surely be used to deter hacking. yes any . thoughts on be used to deter hacking. yes any. thoughts on this one, nick? well, it's kind of the new way to uk. it's just a load of no, not that. well no good. that could have been real. it could be real. but i mean, possibly the danger that they're saying that ultrafast that these new ultrafast computers able to crack computers will be able to crack the encryption because the private encryption because they'll so much faster using they'll be so much faster using qubits, which was from qubits, which i thought was from harry but they're going harry potter. but they're going to something now, to do something like that. now, the it might just the interesting is it might just destroyed private data, all destroyed all private data, all evans cards table. we saw evans cards on the table. we saw all the whatsapp messages. well, at it would get at least, at least it would get rid the idea that people are rid of the idea that people are good. we could that good. we could all stop that they're cancel they're it wouldn't cancel culture immediately. be culture immediately. it would be amazing could have amazing if you could have unlimited everyone's text unlimited to everyone's text messages messages messages email whatsapp messages whatsapp i've whatsapp particular nick i've

seen sorry you know seen some of your sorry you know it would be a different kind of apocalypse like level playing field would mutually field but it would be mutually assured no one can assured because no one can survive that. the hilarious that's it part three and our that's it for part three and our final section of headline. we've got intelligence , got artificial intelligence, ufos virtual reality. see ufos and virtual reality. see you in 3 minutes time.

welcome back . the final part of welcome back. the final part of headliners, your first look at saturday's newspapers. we're going to jump back in with the guard dylan and students are using a i to do their work for them. nick going on? yeah. lecturers urge to review assessments in uk amid concerns over new air tours and of course it's gp t so does smart students really going to do all their work ? what is chatter? it's work? what is chatter? it's a new air that you can type something like. explain to me why andrew doyle is a far right

person , you know like they say person, you know like they say on twitter and it'll give you a essay on it as a bad example. so he is like he's goodness. i understand it's a very sophisticated version of predictive text it because it works with a bank, a library of text and it takes what text right and it takes what would be the most commonly used next word to generate whole essay, which makes it banal. surely unimaginative, but well that's why they know, you know that's why they know, you know that's perfect for kids. essays in school. the point is it's a very decent essay on. the origins of the first world war, apparently. that's the apparently. well, that's the thing. can cheat, but thing. and they can cheat, but it doesn't. it? sure. as i said, it doesn't. it? sure. as i said, it doesn't. it? sure. as i said, it doesn't show more ingenuity in be to figure how in life to be able to figure how to on home. it would to cheat on your home. it would actually easier than to cheat on your home. it would actually easierthan does actually be easier than it does know what stalactite is. you know what a stalactite is. you know what a stalactite is. you know the future robots. we do most jobs anyway but on most of the jobs anyway but on the the side i do the country the other side i do think should learn to, read think they should learn to, read and think good thing is and think and the good thing is though could bring exams though we could bring back exams instead of homework. rid of instead of homework. get rid of homework can't save homework because you can't save the cheating thing back exams separate from the boys. the cheating thing back exams sejthise from the boys. the cheating thing back exams sejthis seems from the boys. the cheating thing back exams sejthis seems obvious, the boys. the cheating thing back exams sejthis seems obvious, doesn'ts. so this seems obvious, doesn't it? really? but a tool

it? really? but is a tool potentially learning which potentially for learning which children home, children can indeed use at home, but must not be but then they must not be allowed rely on it. you allowed to rely on it. so you just shift way of assessing just shift the way of assessing and make assessment and and you make all assessment and in conditions the in close conditions the classroom and though problem i mean look i mean this chap thing is just the latest way that they cheat. when i was a teacher they were just and pasting essays onune were just and pasting essays online and you know you have to if you got a suspiciously well—written you would just take a phrase do a google. often it would come then there was would come up and then there was that conversation and that awkward conversation and they to do it. they did find a way to do it. but what bothers me about it, it does the learning process. you're not doing any of the thinking for yourself. you're not for not doing any research for yourself, you're not going not doing any research for yo retain you're not going not doing any research for yo retain it. you're not going not doing any research for yo retain it. that's'e not going not doing any research for yo retain it. that's thet going not doing any research for yo retain it. that's the pointg to retain it. that's the point when could write it when you say you could write it down as a retaining it down as a way of retaining it more than anything. exactly. and you say you're not going to do that in this situation. well, i should though, should admit now, though, everything on everything i've said tonight on the generated by gpt the show was generated by gpt just see if could tell just to see if you could tell i could knew because you weren't could i knew because you weren't you went on fire and that's what i think. we're to move on i think. we're going to move on

to telegraph now, to saturday telegraph now, what's more secure what's more what's more secure than what on than pigs in blankets? what on earth roger tescos earth is this? roger tescos apparently have put padlocks on bacon and that's what's happened apparently have put padlocks on bacon i nd that's what's happened apparently have put padlocks on bacon i nd that's it'sat's happened apparently have put padlocks on bacon i nd that's it's because ened there. i presume it's because they envious of the recent they were envious of the recent pubuchy they were envious of the recent publicity for publicity generated by asda for putting padlock box on the pack and clearly decided to pick up on the how are they saying that people are out there to steal meat because of the cost of living crisis? that's what the gloss of the bleeding heart media would have you believe ? media would have you believe? yes, but what ? they're really yes, but what? they're really more common than every one of their think is the telegraph. now, the bleeding heart. i mean, it probably is not. so that's how low we've sunk. and this is tesco as well. i mean, this isn't just some rogue stores shoplifting becomes part of getting is the claim. getting by. such is the claim. well, once again, i say i don't know whether shoplifting really more than it ever has more common than it ever has pain, whether genuinely pain, whether it's genuinely spiked because of the recent cost living crisis or whether cost of living crisis or whether it's poor , dominantly it's performed poor, dominantly by the same underclass have been performing crimes for the last.

i would be surprised this generation. i mean you've seen the padlock fist razorblades and the padlock fist razorblades and the more expensive items in supermarket rushes of bacon it is one stock image of declining britain it a padlock sausage it sums up the era we're living, don't you think? yes. i saw being caught for shoplifting in my local garage the other day and they shut the doors. it was quite exciting momentarily and bless it, she was, you know, clearly a bit of a drug, was barely aware of where she was and the bloke took the stuff and then said at the end of it all, you're never coming back here, go to morrisons. is that fabulous next? the guardian? is this the end of dinner dates? nick you are a bit of an expert in. these things, aren't you? well, i would have been, angie, but so busy now year. but i'm so busy now this year. i've taken much work. so i've taken on too much work. so my dating is on the back burner, so laundering is okay. it's very sad. a workaholic sad. you know, i'm a workaholic now, yeah, it's the headline now, but yeah, it's the headline is so intense and is it's just so intense and awkward. the death it in awkward. so the death it in a day. well, is in the day. well, this is in the guardian member but yeah so they

cite reasons like financial reasons are doing more reasons people are doing more dahng reasons people are doing more daring here in daring like someone here in the pen. says. i wouldn't pen. the piece says. i wouldn't want it a day. she want to do it in a day. she wants go on a sea swim. wants to go on a sea swim. i mean, get lost, but cost of living, of course, is being raised is another issue. but is it also that people are just worse interacting. yeah, you worse at interacting. yeah, you know. that's it. know. yeah, that's part of it. there's funny guardian, there's quite a funny guardian, so i'll take you. a man here says that he offered to he didn't to pay for day. didn't want to pay for the day. he offered split the bill. he offered to split the bill. the woman described of the woman described as kind of unsexy. but he had to be a guardian equality guardian and sort of equality about he was offering about it. so he was offering this a lot women this actually, a lot of women don't like that depends on whose knickers you're trying to get into the end of the day. well, there is that. and he said he goesit there is that. and he said he goes it dinner date sounds to me like a suit and like i'm wearing a suit and wearing dress pull out wearing a dress and i pull out the behind. so i quite the chair behind. so i was quite good to it was with that good to me. it was with that sort of compromise where you get a bit of chivalry, but too not much. you still retain the feminist aspect by saying i'll pay feminist aspect by saying i'll pay they love pay for 65% of the. they love that, know, they love it. that, you know, they love it. the feminists. yeah. anyway, moving daily star, moving on now to daily star, yet another dark

another nursery rhyme, a dark origin. be telling origin. next, they'll be telling us isn't just a fun us animal farm isn't just a fun children's story about livestock. this seems to be a hard edged piece of investigative journalism generated googling generated by someone googling origin of spider. generated by someone googling origin of spider . as far as origin of sea spider. as far as i mean, that's the start of it. they put it through a chat, jpt, know it's really into people's childhoods. i don't quite understand an extreme atc understand why an extreme atc could be string, but could be the string, but apparently see apparently she went to see spider according some spider mite, according some sources, getting okay sources, be about getting okay seems little tenuous. can you explain how that would be? not really, no. no and i've read it. it it comes from the an old thing to with hobos so it was it an alternative to tipsy dipsy and the original original words were the tipsy tipsy hobo drinks from the lager spout. here comes the chain. it knocks hobo out, out comes a man pick up all the brains but a tipsy, tipsy hobo dans brains but a tipsy, tipsy hobo drinks from the spout again. and that was the virgin islands. so i was shocked to find out it . i was shocked to find out it. no, i was shocked to find this spine birds. and i was stunned in the spider. one scared me as

i was about hobo in i was singing about hobo in america and what's an american is i vagrant know so i think that's a better version because you know are cautionary you know these are cautionary tales this is basically tales and this is basically telling up telling children to not grow up to be don't be a to be alcoholics don't be a train hopping drunk and in 19th century america, i think that's a positive message to send to kids. i mean, if you read some of those old book, 19th century, 18th century books like strong pizza, you know, where, you know, when had children who know, when you had children who were their fingernails know, when you had children who were theirfingernails was were by their fingernails it was a with big a character i mean, with big scissors and cutting off scissors coming and cutting off the children's fingers. if they were nails, you were biting their nails, you know, a good moral know, that was a good moral lesson. know think a lot lesson. you know i think a lot of these fairy story stories have origins. yes, have dark origins. yes, absolutely. they've been sanitised modern sanitised hugely for the modern children is, kids children and the thing is, kids like they a of like dogs. they do a daily of dogs. yeah but they don't go to school anymore anyway. so it's kind. that's and they kind. that's true. and they don't to either. anyway don't want to either. anyway we're move now to we're going to move on now to saturday's the truth is out saturday's sun. the truth is out there you're watching the there and you're watching the skies superior of skies us probing superior of ufos. pentagon reveals more ufos. as pentagon reveals more than sightings 2021. than 350 sightings since 2021. it's 366 reports of sightings

now 195 were simply airborne clutter and the letters of sky like drones and balloons but 171 remain unidentified . and if you remain unidentified. and if you saw that video, it was like last or the year before where a ufo suddenly off really fast. and the pentagon . yeah, don't the pentagon. yeah, we don't know that that could be know what that is. that could be a ufo some people speculate it's chinese which chinese technology which is worse quite clear. is worse it's. not quite clear. is it aliens or china beating us in the middle east in of these things. eventually they find out what is and it's no it's what it is and it's no it's never a ufo is ufos and it never a ufo no it is ufos and it will be and then no but definition of course you follow them well so i identify it and it's what is it for just them well so i identify it and it's what is it forjust an it's what is it for just an unidentified flying. oh it's an earthquake a bit. people like clinton and obama and. are you serious people. important people like clinton. obama acknowledging . so it is real. acknowledging. so it is real. now, did you not watch lasalle documentary under? no i sometimes wonder what you do with your days. i'm bob lasalle. had a documentary . he talked had a documentary. he talked about he worked on about how he worked on spacecraft career spacecraft his entire career work a way , and he just does

work in a way, and he just does just did . he work in a way, and he just does just did. he so. it's just what he did. he is so. it's so realistic. i believe him personally. it's believable . personally. it's believable. understand? believable. i told people that the vastness of space, the sheer numbers of planets and likely inhabited planets, it is likely that there is alien lifeforms out there , is alien lifeforms out there, but they're not going to come flying around in. all right. well, that's my is even well, that's my point is even cropped causes for a bit of mischief mean, the mischief now they i mean, the whole is they are they do whole thing is they are they do and they are. but there's lots and they are. but there's lots and lots of stories of people claim been kidnapped by claim to have been kidnapped by aliens. saying aliens. are you saying that those delusional, a those people are delusional, a lying? be the case lying? that might be the case people to think were people used to think they were napoleon. and in the 20th century, people started believe that abducted by that they were abducted by aliens. it's same aliens. but it's the same demented fringe dream, fortunately. if there was fortunately. but if there was life and if they life out there, and if they could manufacture the technology to reach, would they not just be the kind civilisation that the kind of civilisation that would wipe us out, would want to wipe us out, colonise i mean, wouldn't colonise us? i mean, wouldn't that case? observers that be the case? observers subtly, suppose, by picking up subtly, i suppose, by picking up people the american people from the deep american south them south and finally probing them in their . that's well known,

in their. that's well known, apparently and keeping out of the image you know how you describe those people that have to go the mediterranean to go to the mediterranean a yeah to go to the mediterranean a year. how aliens. year. that's how the aliens. q yes, certainly much on yes, almost certainly so much on that and they're playing with us . again, i'm very . well, again, i'm very mistrustful, mistrust mistrustful, just as i mistrust a i think, trying to a lot of, i think, trying to make contact these make contact with these extraterrestrial beings is going to demise. do you to be our own demise. do you think the film think seeing the film prometheus, know what happens. prometheus, i know what happens. do think that in the future, you know, people heard know, some people say i heard this. because brains so this. no, because brains are so large, as yours and large, not as large. yours and you and their you were almost. and their brains so large and their brains are so large and their fingers alone because we you know, been texting and know, we've been texting and stuff, have we have stuff, but we have we have underdeveloped bodies in the future. always coming future. so they're always coming back. what you mean? back. oh, i see what you mean? because with the because the aliens look with the big and the that's just us big heads and the that's just us evolved. yeah. and they found time travel and they're coming back exactly. actually back to exactly. that's actually quite what quite chilling. nick. nick what is think that's going is it like. i think that's going to me a standard sci to keep me awake, a standard sci fi premise, is it. no, i, i really don't like that, but thanks for introducing that to my nick. that's my show. thank you, nick. that's it this evening. thanks for it for this evening. thanks for my guests, roger my brilliant guests, roger monkhouse and nick dickson

headune monkhouse and nick dickson headline course, we'll be headline as of course, we'll be back tomorrow with dan back at 11:00 tomorrow with dan o'reilly laughs, o'reilly a.k.a dapper laughs, diane and the diane spencer and myself and the captaincy. thanks for tuning in. we see you tomorrow at we will see you tomorrow at 11:00. farewell .

good evening and maybe friday the 13th, but i am not supposed licious so until i show we will talk about the office for national statistics released figures on excess deaths this week excluding the pandemic. figures on excess deaths this week excluding the pandemic . the week excluding the pandemic. the figures are the worst since 1951. that's right. that's excluding the pandemic. covid deaths only make up a minority of recent deaths. that's not an

opinion that's independent