welcome back. i'm bethany elsey with your top stories from the gb newsroom. police are still searching for the gunman behind yesterday's suspected drive by shooting in central london . a shooting in central london. a seven year old girl remains in a critical condition after being shot outside a church near houston. four women and a second child aged 12 were also taken to hospital with one of them. suffer life changing injuries . suffer life changing injuries. police say shots were fired from a moving black toyota as mourners left a funeral service .labouris mourners left a funeral service . labour is calling for iran's islamic revolutionary guard to be branded a terrorist group following the execution of a

british iranian national, ali riza. akbari was killed after being accused of spying for m16 labour described the execution as barbaric and said the special branch of iran's armed forces pose a growing branch of iran's armed forces pose a grow ing threat to the uk . while the government has sanctioned iran's prosecutor general is playing to withdraw its ambassador to iran and is also considering further action . at least 68 people have been killed in a plane crash in nepal killed in a plane crash in nepal. the country's worst aviation disaster in three decades.72 aviation disaster in three decades. 72 people were on board the yeti airlines flight that crashed in pokhara during clear skies . those on board included skies. those on board included passengers from india, ireland, australia and france. all but four of the bodies have been recovered . the search operation recovered. the search operation has been paused until tomorrow morning . at least 30 people have morning. at least 30 people have been killed and 30 more are being treated in hospital after a russian missile hit an apartment building in central

ukraine. rescue efforts are still continuing with officials saying dozens could be still trapped under the rubble . trapped under the rubble. yesterday, russia launched a major missile attack on ukraine, striking vital energy facilities across the country . a man has across the country. a man has been arrested and a terrorism laws after traces of uranium were found in a package at heathrow airport. border force officers detected the radioactive material in a shipment of scrap metal. at the end of december. shipment of scrap metal. at the end of december . the met police end of december. the met police confirmed there was no evidence the package posted direct threat to the public. the man has been released on bail until april and snow and ice is expected across much of the uk with temperatures set to drop below zero in most places overnight . the met office places overnight. the met office has issued several yellow weather warnings for ice in scotland, wales and the north of england. it's also warning motorists of difficult driving condition tonight as heavy snow falls in parts of the country. the environment agency also

issued a 180 flood alerts this afternoon . you're up to date on afternoon. you're up to date on tv online in derby, plus radio. this is tv news now it's time for headliners . for headliners. hello and welcome to headliners . i'm your welcome to headliners. i'm your host, steven ireland. i'll be taking you through monday's top stories . joining me tonight are stories. joining me tonight are headune stories. joining me tonight are headline stalwarts , comedians headline stalwarts, comedians leo kearse and kerry marks. now, first, let's have a quick look at what monday's front pages have in store for us. the telegraph terror arrest over uranium discovery. the telegraph terror arrest over uranium discovery . the eye goes uranium discovery. the eye goes with pupils face online lessons as teachers plan strike . the as teachers plan strike. the guardian fury over pm's bid to hand police sweeping powers to hold protests . the mirror says hold protests. the mirror says new hope killer will not go free boost for james bolger mum . new hope killer will not go free boost forjames bolger mum . the boost for james bolger mum. the son harry envied will's sausage

. the metro . senseless violence. . the metro. senseless violence. police condemned . drive by gun police condemned. drive by gun maniacs. rampage at funeral and the daily star. deal maniacs. rampage at funeral and the daily star . deal with the the daily star. deal with the devil . surge in youngsters. devil. surge in youngsters. turning to satanism. and those are your front pages . as find are your front pages. as find out what that's about. we kick off with the metro . leo, talk us off with the metro. leo, talk us through the front page . so the through the front page. so the front page says the police have condemned the senseless violence of the drive by gun maniacs. the short people coming out of a funeral in london. so yes, the police who condemn that senseless violence, they prefer more more sensible violence because this apparently is obviously shocking. so seven year old girl is in is in hospital and seriously injured. someone else is life changing injuries. so this is this is very serious . although there's very serious. although there's no deaths. it's very serious. six people injured and apparently it's a case of they're just caught up in the

crossfire . so they weren't the crossfire. so they weren't the obviously i mean, what would a why would anybody have a grudge against the seven year old girl? but trying shoot but they were trying to shoot somebody who attended the funeral . they say they're funeral. they say they're speculating here . i'm not sure speculating here. i'm not sure if that's true or not. and but there've been a lot of random people up in crossfire. people caught up in crossfire. there's woman liverpoolwho there's a woman in liverpool who was shot . and there's was who was shot. and there's been other there's been some other ones. there's the of the young the terrible case of the young girl with the lithuanian mum who shot someone in the netherlands. so there's been a few of these these these things and it's, it's because criminals can just act with impunity. no, they don't seem to care about the law because the police are too busy focussed on virtue signalling and arresting people for tweeting limericks . because tweeting limericks. because that's easy. you're not going to get, don't need to get, you know, you don't need to get, you know, you don't need to get ruffians in headlock, get any ruffians in a headlock, whereas criminals sidique whereas actual criminals sidique khan's police just letting them do what they want. this happened in euston in broad daylight in the middle of london. i suppose the middle of london. i suppose the pushback on that would be to say the police are interested in

this, they're not dismissing this. don't care this. then oh, we don't care what happened. we're busy what happened. we're too busy doing signal. take the doing virtue signal. i take the point, not this point, but it's not that this doesn't bar over doesn't meet their bar over which crime has to jump. but which a crime has to jump. but imagine if the police, instead of like designing some sort of, you know, transgene , the pride, you know, transgene, the pride, rainbow flag shield or something or crossing or whatever it is , or crossing or whatever it is, instead of putting their effort into that or, into, you know, whatever diversity , inclusion whatever diversity, inclusion and equality surveys or whatever, the completely unnecessary instead of doing that, if they focussed tracking down and finding who are in these criminal gangs and stop being them getting access to weapons and making sure they don't feel that they can commit crimes like this and carry. i mean, it's difficult to know what to say other than a tragic . there's not lot to say about . there's not a lot to say about it. surreal, it? it. it's surreal, isn't it? because it isn't a crime we expect on in britain . it's very expect on in britain. it's very much this is more violence and you know, a gang shooting outside a church is a really odd thing to happen. so and i think

the police are , as you say, the the police are, as you say, the police condemn it. so i agree with them on that. yeah totally. i think it's definitely condemnable. it says something when condemning when the police condemning a shooting of a seven year old girl is news . yeah, yeah. but girl is news. yeah, yeah. but good them for condemning good on them for condemning that. the use of a shotgun as well. it's assault. aim to well. yeah, it's assault. aim to make sure you don't hit people who aren't your intended target shows. oh well, it's even worse . they're all terrible. i mean, still know what like. so still to know what it's like. so maybe on to the maybe we move on to the telegraph next and what they telegraph next and what are they running front page? running on that front page? carry the terror carry this the terror terror arrests over uranium which happened at heathrow airport . happened at heathrow airport. and i find it quite amusing on the front page, they got a picture of cate blanchett looking she was the terrorist who did that. it even says kate's golden glow, which i think is probably from the uranium go to golden glow. i think it's because she's expecting to get a bafta this week . it's not should that he's week. it's not should that he's not because she's been arrested for bringing uranium into the country. so yeah it was someone

brought some uranium in which he should have gone not gone through then nothing to declare really . i mean, you're supposed really. i mean, you're supposed to say , what have you got on you to say, what have you got on you a little bit uranium. you a little bit uranium. did you packit a little bit uranium. did you pack it yourself . is it. yeah, pack it yourself. is it. yeah, yeah, yeah . pack it yourself. is it. yeah, yeah, yeah. i'd like to pack it yourself. is it. yeah, yeah, yeah . i'd like to know yeah, yeah. i'd like to know what excuses were made for it these days. could it these days. it could be it was a and you whitening tooth remedy i got from tick—tock so anything could be possible . yeah we it could be possible. yeah we it was an iranian registered business in the uk. was an iranian registered business in the uk . and so the business in the uk. and so the man was six years old. he could impact already heightened tensions between london and tehran following the execution of a british iranian dual national charged with spying for mi6. and i think the article then turns into what's been going on between britain and iran recently, which course iran recently, which of course is story good reason to is the story with good reason to be bringing uranium into the countries there because not be bringing uranium into the c(bomb s there because not be bringing uranium into the c(bomb orhere because not be bringing uranium into the c(bomb or aere because not be bringing uranium into the c(bomb or a nucleasze not be bringing uranium into the c(bomb or a nuclear power not a bomb or a nuclear power station or chemical test. yeah, you'd accept it if it was one of those. would you? oh, wow. well, that makes perfect sense. there's nice uses for there's not many nice uses for

uranium. i mean, unless you're going to, you know, generate electricity in a nuclear reactor. but i don't think they brought reactor as brought a nuclear reactor as well. was interesting. well. no it was interesting. they it in and they brought it in and a consignment of scrap metal intended an iranian intended for an iranian business, in the uk, but business, the in the uk, but they're scrap by they're bringing scrap by air. i mean the air is airfreight is notoriously expensive scrap metal that's going to be quite the sunni as well. it yeah it seems suspicious to me i'm just i'm it. there's nothing i'm missing it. there's nothing actually in the article saying what they said the uranium was for. no right. yeah, guess for. no right. so yeah, i guess they're ask if those they're going to ask if those were the police when they finished getting rainbow finished getting the rainbow parade travel. your parade travel. you're your sister . they say they're going sister. they say they're going to spear a couple to finally spear a couple of hours go and ask him what hours to go in and ask him what it was for previous news stories. this topic, it said that the idea was maybe they were just testing ability to were just testing the ability to bnng were just testing the ability to bring inside country. so bring things inside country. so the small of the actual small amount of uranium being used for uranium ore being used for anything about anything but as more about saying could these saying how you could get these these radioactive these dirty radioactive chemicals in. right. oh, so this is the test thing. this is sending somebody through with with a rap of cocaine before you

send them through with kilos. send them through with 20 kilos. yeah. mean, that's possibly yeah. i mean, that's possibly another way they might try and do uranium in do the uranium poppy in a condom, someone to swallow condom, get someone to swallow it, what happens, it, see what happens, shall i don't think it's going to work out. if someone that out. well, if someone does that now, you know that. now, it's on you. you know that. oh, let's move on now to oh, well, let's move on now to the it's on front the guardian. it's on the front page live. there was fury page live. so there was fury over the prime minister's bid to hand police sweeping powers to halt i mean, they halt protests. i mean, they never those powers, never use those powers, but would do it? he'd be busy would they do it? he'd be busy making some of remote making some sort of remote traffic crossing. why, michael, them called traffic them they're not called traffic crossings . zebra crossing, crossings. zebra crossing, zebra crossings. zebra crossing, zebra crossing instead of traffic crossing instead of traffic crossing knew it wasn't crossing . yeah. you're still obsessed, though. obsessed. yeah. this though. i'm obsessed. yeah. this is environmental is because of the environmental protest where people have been walking slowly in front of cars , and then the police have said, well, we can't do it. they're not blocking the route. i mean, they're obviously blocking the route they're walking route because they're walking in the say, we the road and the police say, we can't anything because can't do anything because they're moving. they're walking. so that's that's excuse the so that's that's the excuse the police arresting police give for not arresting them. the are going to them. no the police are going to be powers arrest people

be given powers to arrest people who that. but people are saying this infringes on civil liberties. you know, these liberties. and, you know, these these powers being brought through scrutiny through without proper scrutiny and it.so through without proper scrutiny and it. so it's and all the rest of it. so it's difficult . on the one point difficult. on the one point you've got, on the one hand, you've got, on the one hand, you've the of civil you've got the loss of civil liberties you know, hard for liberties and you know, hard for individual rights. but on the other i'd love to see the other hand, i'd love to see the police just win into some of those net zero people with truncheons. you know, truncheons. just, you know, knocking as did in knocking it back as they did in germany. going to germany. that's we're going to we're see a bit and we're going to see a bit and kerry, the idea of arresting people surely people walking slowly surely that its own is a good point, that on its own is a good point, isn't it? slow definitely. oh, yeah. people front yeah. the people stop in front of they should be arrested. of you. they should be arrested. you when out on you know, when you're out on a busy you shop it. i busy saturday, you shop in it. i don't understand how anyone can because he was people passing by in directions speed and in both directions at speed and suddenly no one suddenly think there's no one behind to say behind me. i'm just going to say this. still on a street this. stand still on a street and always up. so and you always end up. so tapping on the shoulder or tapping them on the shoulder or trying to get around. and i found secret by some of the found the secret by some of the stops front of you, just stops in front of you, just whispering just whispering very gently, just go move foot and they just move the left foot and they just stop the stopped.

stop again. the train stopped. i find it really funny. the police are being given powers to stop the plans for public the fury over plans for public order crackdown. now is? order crackdown. so what now is? the police have powers to stop the fury that's going to come from the police having powers to stop fury over a public crackdown. so it's just a catch 22 now. i don't think we can stop the fury. no, i don't think we can say the fury is happening. you've seen the internet . yeah. it's a lot of internet. yeah. it's a lot of how they are very familiar over the last few days. it's really mainly about that zephyr crossing. honestly, one crossing. i know. honestly, one beatles and he's like, why beatles cover and he's like, why can't they be ? why can't we just can't they be? why can't we just have one tartan in the crossing 7 have one tartan in the crossing ? i feel somehow that would cause traffic accidents. i don't know why, but it'd be too confusing. people would be walking way, looking walking the wrong way, looking for shortbread. under thompson walking the wrong way, looking for shoriscottish nder thompson walking the wrong way, looking for shoriscottish rainbow mpson was the scottish rainbow originally , as we wanted the originally, as we wanted the i take us through the front page gary just talking nonsense they are really och people's face onune are really och people's face online lessons as teachers a strike so of course with the

lost time pupils had at over lockdown this is all happening again and there's no chance of having any normality of an education anymore . and teachers education anymore. and teachers going on strike because everyone's going on strike. i'm off to australia on tuesday, only staying out there for three months. i think i might just stay and never come back to this. this whole country's collapsing that wasn't into strikes anger. but was in strikes and anger. but i was in school. we to joke about school. we used to joke about burning down and burning the school down and having day off, you know? but having a day off, you know? but nowadays even joke nowadays they can't even joke about because they're not about that because they're not wanted . i mean, are you going to wanted. i mean, are you going to burn own down if you burn your own house down if you want avoid lessons now? i want to avoid lessons now? so i don't this ends. don't know how this ends. i think feel for the kids now. i think i feel for the kids now. i don't know what the repercussions really are going to be of this completely still to be of this completely still to know, if to the education. you know, if a few months in school and a few months after again and we won't know of years, but i know a number of years, but i doubt find out doubt we're going to find out how worked. yeah and also, how that worked. yeah and also, i mean, seems a bit a bit i mean, it seems a bit a bit rough for to be rough for teachers to be striking when weren't striking when they weren't concerned . they weren't going concerned. they weren't going into over over lockdown, into schools over over lockdown, you , they had they work

you know, they had they work from home or whatever. they don't even know what they did. but they weren't going but you know, they weren't going to people to school. people worked in their school. were the real their school. they were the real like going like and like heroes going in like and also risking getting covid. when we might actually be we thought it might actually be dangerous yeah. to hell with dangerous. yeah. to hell with teachers . yeah. you what teachers. yeah. you know what they thought only could be 2 they thought the only could be 2 hours a day. anyway, i worry about. anything upset about. saying anything to upset the train drivers, the nurses or the train drivers, whatever, because might whatever, because that might come i might be on come back on me. i might be on a train. i'll meet one of those trains drivers watch this trains drivers who watch this programme will get programme and they will get angry. but teachers, that's never again. hell with never happening again. hell with them. anything. them. hell, don't pay anything. you powerful their you just see how powerful their ability give detention is. ability to give detention is. because to because i don't know. reading to read help. we still read this could help. we still do really? yeah now we be do it. really? yeah now we be awful and then we can move to on the front page of the sun sausage. leo that's right. so harry was made to feel less important than william as a child by getting fewer sausages at breakfast says diana's former butler. paul butler . the other butler. paul butler. the other sausages were found in his attic. but yeah , is just subtle

attic. but yeah, is just subtle tncks. attic. but yeah, is just subtle tricks . the subtle tricks that tricks. the subtle tricks that the royals used to undermine the hated meghan back then, before she'd even been born , before, she'd even been born, before, before they'd ever met the. they were they were institutionally racist against harry before they even knew she was going to marry meghan's. so they gave him fewer sausages. i don't this seems this seems is this real? it feels like it's not that much of a real story . feels like it's not that much of a real story. it you feels like it's not that much of a real story . it you know, a real story. it you know, i tell you, i've been crying all this week after reading spare by prince harry. it's so it's so sad . and i know because i, i sad. and i know because i, i relate i relate to prince harry because, you know, i also grew up believing i wasn't next in line for the throne. i think it was. it was. he said in his book at one point, i'm never going to be king. and i was like, yes, you know, someone else who gets it. was someone else who it. and was someone else who knows how i feel. and it's hard. you hard. you're not you know, it's hard. you're not going the monarch. but but going to be the monarch. but but but it's weighty. she's got this thing. it maybe happened. and if so, isn't it?

so, that's kind of, isn't it? you have the extra sausage you can't have the extra sausage because you're going be king. because you're going to be king. looks than not. being looks worse than not. being king. yeah. let's also king. yeah. yeah. so let's also say he's he believes say that he's he's he believes he's like an organ farm for his brother they thought was. brother which they thought was. yeah, film that yeah, i've seen that film that was science fiction film. was like a science fiction film. harry think he harry the organ farm think he grew harry don't smile. grew up with harry don't smile. those william's those are william's lungs. you're you know? yeah. you're damaged, you know? yeah. it was old when he says, it was pretty old when he says, like, means change. yes, like, really means change. yes, yes . what's real and what's not? yes. what's real and what's not? i know . think i i don't know. but i think i think this is one of these cases of a journalist saying to somebody, we'll give you two and a half grand if we can run the story. going, yeah, all story. and then going, yeah, all right, saying that paul right, then you saying that paul burrell might something burrell might be in something for money showing his side in this incredibly petty when it comes to sausage between comes down to a sausage between brothers? it really? it brothers? does it really? it says he was made to feel says the he was made to feel like he was less important. i mean, once brutally honest. no, he actually is less important. yes. the family we yes. it's the one family we definitely know that one brother is important. other is more important. the other one. yeah. deal with it one. yes so, yeah. deal with it like families. like most families . well, that's all for

families. well, that's all for one. but join us after the break. one, we'll find out if girls still run the world. if 16 is too young to determine your genden is too young to determine your gender. and if the effect of train strikes is having a bit of a problem for sex workers, we'll see you .

in two. welcome back to headline is with me, steven allen and comedians leo kearse and kerry marks. let's now move on to monday's guardian . and there's another guardian. and there's another job that young people are told that they can't do. kerry this is young people warned not to be exploited as money mules , uk exploited as money mules, uk criminal gangs using the term money mule would put you off to start with. when you're someone you want to be a money mule is. i don't really want to be a mule. thank you. i want to be youn mule. thank you. i want to be your. but as you can have children, can they mules?

because i know. i don't think so. laughing how do they get around well, around that lane stops. well, there meet a donkey with a there you meet a donkey with a horse, right? of course . horse, right? yes, of course. yeah, and you're the yeah, yeah, yeah. and you're the end the line. it's a mule. end of the line. it's a mule. but that's the other way. they. they make them. don't know if they make them. i don't know if it's advantage over a horse it's an advantage over a horse or a donkey. how does help or a donkey. how does that help you around the other? you move money around the other? they're carrying stuff they're used for carrying stuff but can't use me. get but can't use them for me. get more donkeys. nothing more donkeys. it's nothing any for that can't breed. for them that they can't breed. what need for? money what do they need for? money because they've become a because they they've become a useful metaphor. was useful metaphor. oh, that was worth their existence. they don't i guess don't do choice, which i guess is used in is why, you know, is used in cases like this , because this is cases like this, because this is kids being used, criminals transfer money into their bank to sort of launder the money and the kid has to spend the money. they transfer it to a third kid. don't like and then that way it's covered up. so yeah, it's sort of, you know, a suit. it's harder for, for the police to trace. but this this kid says, you know, the kids get told, oh, you're going e £4,000 if you're going to make £4,000 if you're going to make £4,000 if you launder money through you let us launder money through your they're doing your account. and they're doing this like give them this guy, like give them his

bank card, which seems like if you give you a bank card, the criminals only are not going criminals not only are not going to money, you going to make any money, but you going to make any money, but you going to whatever you to lose whatever money you had account. then kid could account. and then the kid could mark his, which is not not his real name. so that makes a big difference. know, if it difference. you know, like if it was called jon, we'd go, oh, jon , to change this. , they've had to change this. i know but he's actually old know he's but he's actually old mark slowly narrowing mark so we're slowly narrowing it down. eventually we'll get that he's got he got off item got four £4,000 off the term which yeah for a kid right now it's about the only way they can make money. it's not terrible is it. and be make money. it's not terrible is it. and b e £4,000 profit which it. and be £4,000 profit which i imagine that the money mules will be on strike soon as will be going on strike soon as well. mean everyone else is well. i mean everyone else is out at it. he didn't make any money. you lost £50 from his account. guys, account. and also, guys, did they can face the credit they then can face the credit score and they can open bank accounts . yeah. why don't we accounts. yeah. why don't we just legalise criminality , you just legalise criminality, you know? i mean, this would all stop, wouldn't it? britain is working on it. yeah, we're going that interesting that way. it's interesting in the it's the west the story because it's the west midlands police commissioner and

hsbc behind this campaign hsbc are behind this campaign telling the police telling me now the police commissioner makes sense, don't do hsbc very much getting do crime. hsbc very much getting in the order. you shouldn't be transferring money early . leave transferring money early. leave it to us. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. thing back. yeah. to this thing back. because i used to be called always telling other people to do like have they heard of bitcoin criminals know bitcoin these criminals know this. yeah this way around it. i'm no criminal, but i think i know what to do. monday's times and keir starmer is getting and now keir starmer is getting tough issue of gender tough on the issue of gender identity as he won you over a yes he has basically. so keir starmer says 16 year olds are too young to decide if they want too young to decide if they want to change their gender. i mean, what a bigot. harvard university says infants know if they're transgender or not. so keir starmer is so this is this is another case where keir starmer is attacking to the right . over, is attacking to the right. over, oven is attacking to the right. over, over, over something he's done over, over something he's done over immigration and the nhs. and now he's got concerns over scotland's gender recognition law because he thinks that, you know, the age of 16 is too young to change gender. the gender

recognition bill, it was passed in scotland, by the way, as well as lowering age which as lowering the age which children legally change children can legally change their gender. and by the way, in scotland they allowed far younger people to embark on the actual change. so the clinic in glasgow, the gender gender clinic in glasgow prescribes puberty blocking hormones to children as young as nine, which is crazy, even with the law and life expectancy and scotland, that's still very young and is also got other issues with around access men getting access to single sex spaces such as changing rooms or prisons . so, changing rooms or prisons. so, you know, a man who's convicted of a sex crime can then change his name and as well as then getting access to a women's prison to commit more sex crimes. it also expunge is all is all the details of his crime because will be committed and you'll be sentenced under his old name and he gets a new name he gets be called beryl or he gets to be called beryl or whatever. and so anybody googles

beryl, it's all crimes won't come. who would want to be a beryl? that was just an example. that a terrible example. that was a terrible example. yeah. many yeah. especially for so many known beryl . but he says he known as beryl. but he says he wants to modernise the legislation to take out the indignities which is a very old sentence. really does make it clear could be anything can and what he actually says is scotland's gender recognition law because he considers the age of 16 too young to decide to change gender. that's what it says here. but it actually means change, legal gender. you can still you whatever you like. still say you whatever you like. you obviously no you know, obviously there's no rules can say your rules on that. you can say your tipple you want and tipple if you want to. and there's know, there's no there's a you know, there's no law you can't pretend law saying you can't pretend you're you go to you're a teapot. if you go to law, you go put one hand like this in one hand, like that. if you practise something, you i'm sure a you've sure you've been a you've been a teapot before. i knew you had this person was really the snp passed month passed legislation last month that trans people to that would allow trans people to obtain gender recognition obtain a gender recognition certificate without the need without need a medical without the need for a medical diagnosis. do you need a diagnosis. why do you need a certificate you certificate then? i mean, if you can say i'm i'm female or

can just say i'm i'm a female or a male in scotland, why would you then need a certificate to say do it anyway? say you can do it anyway? because if i could just if there was law saying i can just say was a law saying i can just say i'm a professor, i no longer need certification, i? need any certification, do i? because the difference is, because but the difference is, if that you are a if you claim that you are a teapot, you don't have the legal status teapot. therefore, status of a teapot. therefore, if sit on a shell, if you try and sit on a shell, john lewis, you wouldn't be allowed. you've very allowed. you've it very difficult. get out the difficult. so get out of the conversation whether conversation round to whether i can be a team for or not. you're already a teapot. the certificate says that can go certificate says that you can go to what prison you go to , for to what prison you go to, for example. i'm not saying they will go to prison, that they're terribly bigoted. yeah, teapot prison . is that what they call prison. is that what they call it . is that that's what that's it. is that that's what that's what happens in beauty and the beast, isn't those poor beast, isn't it? those poor crockery traps . oh one is still crockery traps. oh one is still says you need to time to look in time for three of your three months reflect on period which is three months of reflection looking into a mirror seeing you have a dangly bit and working out what you are. you get more

time when you buy something from amazon. i going to say hello amazon. i am going to say hello again. i kind i personally again. so i kind of i personally feel that everyone change feel that everyone should change gender of the gender at 16 just because of the fun would bring around fun that would bring around the country years and country and a couple years and change. again, i think to do change. but again, i think to do that, regain that way, give it a few years. the interesting thing, the use of thing, this is where the use of section 35, which don't need section 35, which we don't need to talk about now, because that's just the looming sword of damocles. really be damocles. it can only really be enacted if the law in scotland impacts the rest of impacts the law in the rest of the rather than the rest of the uk rather than the rest of uk. like the decision. uk. doesn't like the decision. yes see happens yes you can see what happens mondays. daily and beyond mondays. daily mail and beyond say who the world say once said who runs the world girls? turns out she girls? well, it turns out she was wrong. it's a trans woman caring. it's a trans woman who's now universe now the owner of miss universe pageant. i'm going to attempt this. called and give me a this. she's called and give me a moment for the run up . jack moment for the run up. jack rodgen moment for the run up. jack rodger, tattered dip. jack rodger, tattered dip. jack rodger that i think you got that right. yeah okay. i'm good with foreign names and she's now she's now running the mrs. inverse, which and which is an

interesting thing for the first stop, because what we've seen for a while now is a problem going on with sport, with trans women were able to out compete they women but i think the one area a beauty pageants is where nafive area a beauty pageants is where native women are going to keep winning trans women. i winning over trans women. i don't . and that might be don't know. and that might be a bit divisive, but i kind of feel that can be the thing. yeah there is a trans woman won there is a trans woman who won a beauty she beauty pageant. i mean, she really was. i mean, there are some very beautiful she politically it so she politically win it so that she i think she politically think think she politically i think it was i'm saying it can't was like i'm not saying it can't be revision you know winning be a revision you know winning is always political by hand based on who's the best singer. it's funny how we go through these . you think these phases. you think these things beauty pageants , things like beauty pageants, they go from being sexist to suddenly empowering. suddenly being empowering. and we at empowering we went back at the empowering stage so just stage of the modelling. so just another good thing and this and to answer top tips , she gave to answer top tips, she gave a speech.i to answer top tips, she gave a speech. i read this when i was born. as of this speech, she made it as a trans woman who got bullied and sexually harassed by my own teacher when i was young.

plus, i was not accepted by they did not want to embrace my differences. guess what? i chose not surrender. i term pain not to surrender. i term pain into power a life lessons into power as a life lessons into power as a life lessons into and goes on. into wisdom and it goes on. she's basically making about herself. no about herself. this is no longer about women about beauty women or about about beauty pageants. about her, her pageants. it is about her, her struggle . i felt it was struggle. i felt like it was good luck to but, you know, good luck to her, but, you know, she the next andrew. she could be the next andrew. she could open a hustler's academy because she said in order gain respect, you need order to gain respect, you need to success and those that to have success and those that you do link to. i like to see this like some hour we did this like some hour face we did on a yeah that's like in miss universe first you get the money then get the then you get then you get the then you get then you get the then you get the women. probably start the women. you probably start with she she also with the women. she she also said she was born in the wrong body, but she she was inspired by winfrey to aspire for a by oprah winfrey to aspire for a bigger career. looks better bigger career. she looks better than i know than oprah winfrey. i know it's so compliment. what so nice compliment. what oprah winfrey felt like i was winfrey do. i felt like i was built in the body. but you built in the wrong body. but you know, time by oprah know, this time by oprah winfrey, think winfrey, i don't think oprah winfrey, i don't think oprah winfrey was built winfrey is that she was built moulding own body as well. moulding her own body as well. okay, let's move on to monday's guardian. equal marriage

guardian. kerry equal marriage is news. it's like it's is in the news. it's like it's been 2013. again yeah, equal marriage in the church of england . you know what? england. you know what? i thought we'd already done that. i didn't know. we still didn't have marriage the have equal marriage in the church, i thought that was church, but i thought that was something a years but something a few years ago. but apparently when you apparently it's like when you find still alive. find a celebrity still alive. you the show passed on you know, the show was passed on and particularly told and this is particularly told through tv. we had a civil partners, jay green and rev marian clutterbuck, which is such a super pub name. yeah, i'd love to drive it. tidy room . no, love to drive it. tidy room. no, i'm a clutterbuck . what do you i'm a clutterbuck. what do you expect for me? you know, so organisation also says but it like the worst swearword that she's allowed to sing because it's like she started. it's like a swear word and has got out of you . clutterbuck is just glad to you. clutterbuck is just glad to it and i don't. i think all marriages gave us have you ever been to a wedding ? i i it's one been to a wedding? i i it's one of those issues i don't really i'm not a christian .

of those issues i don't really i'm not a christian. i'm not a member of the church of england. so i don't really feel like i have a lot of say on it. but it's one of those issues of civil liberty that doesn't infringe on anyone else. you know, if gay people get married, it mean you cannot get it doesn't mean you cannot get married now. so this is no infringement. and even the clergy, just you, clergy, it's just like you, you'll the choice, you'll have the choice, you'll have conscience so have a conscience clause. so really, if you choose people have a conscience clause. so reallgof you choose people have a conscience clause. so reallgo through oose people have a conscience clause. so reallgo through the people have a conscience clause. so reallgo through the papaleople have a conscience clause. so reallgo through the papal states, who go through the papal states, because churches , that's because this is churches, that's that's says. that's how they do what it says. the bible. ridiculous idea. the bible. what ridiculous idea. but you know, if they don't want to do it, they don't have do to do it, they don't have to do it. so, the ones that want it. so, yeah, the ones that want to do it. and yeah, it to do it can do it. and yeah, it doesn't infringe on anybody and i think, you know, they've been together how is together 23 years. well, how is how them getting married? how is them getting married? more to whatever more of an insult to whatever the whatever than the church or whatever than britney spears married britney spears getting married and next and annulling it the next day. yeah the thing i don't understand is why would you want to of group, an to be part of a group, an organisation that rejects you so thoroughly? would want thoroughly? why would you want to an organised to be married by an organised action at the is action that at the moment is going come that's not going to come on? that's not what but you've never what it says. but you've never seen fight club? no, i have.

i've not seen the version where they married. but they they get married. no, but they get rejected. i can you get rejected. i can remind you that church, church of that the church, the church of england over. the fact england did start over. the fact that change its ways that it had to change its ways from catholic church. right. from the catholic church. right. it for a divorce. it was to allow for a divorce. so surely it's supposed to be about change, isn't it? i mean, i'm what i understand of i'm from what i understand of it. think is an argument. it. so i think is an argument. i think there's an argument people wanting to change any system from agree with from within. but i, i agree with you monday's daily you totally. monday's daily star, when it comes to star, carey and when it comes to strikes, it's the sex workers that i feel for. but you do have to pay for even that. we told sex workers are the real victims of train strikes as randy punters can't get into the city gardens . name randy gardens. name randy randy frontier . i gardens. name randy randy frontier. i mean you know you kind of had his life cut out at that point. yeah it's never going meet a quarter, but it going to meet a quarter, but it was to have to was bad enough to have to certainly . do think there is certainly. do you think there is for that through for the thought that through whose like you're trained to go in the london go anyway that i would support your local as goes probably get a better quality a

bit but hell yeah totally this quy's bit but hell yeah totally this guy's yeah it's less public use the escort agency london deluxe told the daily star the company has been losing business worth ove r £20,000 a week. that doing over £20,000 a week. that doing all right. as a result of the strike and that contact and contacts other agencies told us they'd been losing as much as 70,000. so they're doing a lot better she is. she better than she is. and she said, my have bills to pay said, my girls have bills to pay and said that they're not making any money, so maybe they could get well, i think get a real job. well, i think the train strikes there the train strikes should there is a gig economy being damaged by the train strikes, which i think they should on a strike every day for prostitutes and comedian sorry , comedians, but comedian sorry, comedians, but prostitutes and comedians should get to drive the trains . just get to drive the trains. just press a couple of buttons. you say something over the loudspeaker. oh, so are the train's trains been delayed here just to mess with you ? we all just to mess with you? we all know there's no reason to delay it. so, guys . yeah, but if they it. so, guys. yeah, but if they made seven grand last week , made seven grand last week, surely you can afford to not earn that much this week. if i'd

have pulled in that kind of top dollar. not that i'm implying in any way i escort, but if i'd have earned that much money, i reckon i could handle a few days of strike. wow you be. you be a harsh madam. at the bills. harsh madam. still at the bills. pay you've made enough pay bills. you've made enough money. it. you've got money. now stop it. you've got to pay your pimp. it goes to pay your pimp. yeah, it goes at costs . pay for a lot of at all costs. pay for a lot of mouthwash. well no . to break for mouthwash. well no. to break for a switch. two lorry sized homes . which country is it illegal to flush toilet in after 10 pm? and what on earth has got these german riot police stuck in the mud ? we'll see you .

in two. welcome back to headline as and let's get straight back into it with everyone's favourite eco warrior and her latest escapade

. leo. yeah. so equal or greater thunberg has been detained by police at an ultra violent climate protest. there's a headune climate protest. there's a headline for you. so she was she was in the small german village of leuser that's been razed to the ground to open a coal mine. and, you know, 20 years ago, the left wing people were angry that coal mines were being closed. now they're angry that they're being open because can't being open because they can't make up their mind. they're just angry. and they want something to about. so, yeah, was to be angry about. so, yeah, was she detained they said she was detained and they said one the spooks spokeswomen, a one of the spooks spokeswomen, a spokeswoman organisers spokeswoman for the organisers was who's indigo , told to was who's called indigo, told to press a press conference that the police had gone in with pure violence . the protesters were violence. the protesters were throwing cocktails. so this is pretty serious. you know, pretty serious stuff. this isn't your net zero. you know, the wimpy guys we get in this country , we guys we get in this country, we just sit in the road with their herbal teas and have a little bannen herbal teas and have a little banner. and, you know, every because we're every so polite in this country, we actually stop them of right them instead of blowing right through we should. so, through them like we should. so, yeah have used yeah. so the police have used massive batons , pepper spray,

massive batons, pepper spray, water but some massive water cannons, but some massive batons . they don't want to be batons. they don't want to be stopped. so they or it was just someone long for the relay race. extra big. yeah, exactly. this was being described by some i'm feeling a bit sexually. was it. oh, their batons massive . oh, their batons were massive. well, they were. well, they're sure they were. yeah water yeah pepper spray, water cannons, and horses. cannons, dogs and horses. i mean. yeah, sound mean. yeah, that does sound a bit. yeah, when you spray bit. so, yeah, when you spray dogs wish you dogs and that's awful. wish you were policeman . no, because were a policeman. no, because i always thought, like, i can join the police because i missed it in the years of being able in the glory years of being able to up hippies the to beat up hippies in the sixties. we were coming back sixties. so we were coming back and had the and we never. we never had the water boris bought them. water cannons boris bought them. then.then water cannons boris bought them. then. then they'd be redundant. i wouldn't myself. we i wouldn't trust myself. we had behind cannon. i'm quite behind a water cannon. i'm quite a i think. but fill a nice person, i think. but fill it with crude oil. i'll hell with i tonight i keeping an with it. i tonight i keeping an old in the for air old lady up in the for air a little bit. first of all, if i had a water cannon, i'd be one of the worst people on earth. i'd be trying to move people's umbrellas to one and move umbrellas to one side and move them to the other and see them to the other side and see if anywhere near if they can get anywhere near each you know, things you each other. you know, things you wouldn't to use it

wouldn't be allowed to use it because then, even though because since then, even though we've on day, we've we've rained on every day, we've had and a hosepipe ban had a drought and a hosepipe ban constantly walk out. constantly having to walk out. and if you can't even use a hosepipe the best, i think a lovely bit in the story is when she was dragged away by the police speaking the process, police speaking to the process, she germany's she said germany's really embarrassing, embarrassing itself think itself right now. i think they might done if they might have done worse if they can out. yeah but can can carry out. yeah but we can link in with this one. the monday express carry. link in with this one. the mor mother express carry. link in with this one. the mor mother earth express carry. link in with this one. the mor mother earth is xpress carry. link in with this one. the mormother earth is gettingzarry. our mother earth is getting involved eco battle as involved in this eco battle as well. shown the video well. we've shown the video already, the police already, haven't we? the police being mud. they being stuck in the mud. they didn't i think it played. didn't play. i think it played. i'm they'll see it i'm not sure if they'll see it again without having to look at their ready go there we go. their ready to go there we go. look, i mean, that'sjust their ready to go there we go. look, i mean, that's just see what the police are being accused, being stuck in the mud, as they always have been. there's a who comes in for no reason. not behaving as monk. reason. not behaving as a monk. normally there's the normally would. there's the police trying for normally would. there's the polthe trying for normally would. there's the polthe history trying for normally would. there's the polthe history to trying for normally would. there's the polthe history to get ying for normally would. there's the polthe history to get away or normally would. there's the polthe history to get away the all the history to get away the epithet of being called pigs. and now they're rolling around the which helping at the mud, which isn't helping at all. has been . is grace all. this has been. is grace better than rehearsed clown ? and better than rehearsed clown? and i it makes the police kind

i think it makes the police kind of to be honest. but of loveable, to be honest. but it's not it's what it's not the it's not what looking for. the same time it looking for. at the same time it does sort undermine their does sort of undermine their authority. because i think authority. yeah, because i think you authority. yeah, because i think you guy authority. yeah, because i think you guy dressed as a police you a guy dressed as a police and you see the other police is that there is that look he's so humiliated by the behaviour bnng humiliated by the behaviour bring them down. monks. monks have good climate protesting. monks have got barefoot where the. i think what we need is that video we can't do it again. not because we're not practising that with sound effects of we. yeah yeah yeah. that's way it should be. whatever news is the police later dragged of protesters some of whom had taken refuge in a series of houses? they obviously don't know much about eco protests, not refuges . it's where they not refuges. it's where they live . swampy style, style or live. swampy style, style or indeed swampy style with the way. so the mud has turned against the people trying to stop eco protesters. so gaia is fighting back. yeah, well, that's one way of looking at it. steve yes, that's a good way of looking at it. a good way of looking at it. a good way of looking at it. a good way of looking at it, yeah. even i

don't think it's a good way of looking at it because gay is supposed to be a self managing. yeah, fight back like yeah, it would fight back like avatar . i think that's avatar a bit. i think that's where got idea from. where he got the idea from. yeah, but yeah this is yeah, but, but yeah but this is i it's ridiculous. we need i mean, it's ridiculous. we need to get a call out the ground to burn it just for fun, just to make angry. you just want make people angry. you just want people be angry, right? yeah. people to be angry, right? yeah. that's is. they already people to be angry, right? yeah. thati'm is. they already people to be angry, right? yeah. thati'm is.to, ey already people to be angry, right? yeah. thati'm is.to, like, ready people to be angry, right? yeah. thati'm is.to, like, get iy are. i'm going to, like, get more more. by the way, i see more and more. by the way, i see it in a few interviews. whatever it in a few interviews. whatever it is, matter what she thinks it is, no matter what she thinks or she expresses. i think or how she expresses. so i think she she's quite sweet. she giggles a lot and quite giggles a lot and she's quite funny big deal about funny people a big deal about her andrew where she her the andrew thing where she accused of having a small accused him of having a small penis which as flippant remark was it worked was was the fact it worked was you impressive but people you know impressive but people forget treating it like it was like most of we've been like the most of we've been workers and workers comedians for years and then calls someone and then someone calls someone and said, someone's got small said, someone's got a small penis like, that's penis and we're like, that's amazing, though. he's also by doing that, she's climate doing that, she's making climate change partisan so change a very partisan issue. so to change, it to combat climate change, it doesn't be combated. by doesn't need to be combated. by the it's combat you want the way, it's combat if you want it to do that, you really need to andrew on board

to get people. andrew on board because got 33 cars and because you've got 33 cars and he drives them around. you can't get the two three vegans get just the two or three vegans on they can't afford on board. they can't afford a car they're useless. so car because they're useless. so you to get people you really need to get people who drive big roads and range rovers stuff them on board rovers and stuff them on board and not going do it by and you're not going to do it by alienating anybody, you know? she got the message eventually she got to say she thought, you've got to say that get the small penis that it's to get the small penis on board. yeah. name is if ever there's a category people who there's a category of people who because know temperatures because you know temperatures a factor warming if factor global warming if anything their anything is going to help their problem know you've got to problem you know you've got to try get them board, she try and get them on board, she said. was unsure of said. harry was unsure of a sausage. there so sausage. oh, there wasn't. so the of a gig one day is the issue of a gig one day is daily, really ? oh, and speaking daily, really? oh, and speaking of cars, even the of cars, not even the self—driving ones are going to save so self—driving cars save us. so self—driving cars could double congestion on the roads by 2060 because of a surge in traffic caused by increased mobility of the elderly and people with a driving licence. so when's the winter driving around? you've got the self—driving . anybody can hail self—driving. anybody can hail one, you you get an uber one, you know, you get an uber be like that, but there won't be a driver and it'll get cheaper

because there won't a driver. because there won't be a driver. and big cost in an uber is and the big cost in an uber is the that it's going the fact that it's going to support somebody who's got to feed his family and the rest feed his family and all the rest of going to get of it. no, we're going to get rid of those people. they can probably be turned into dog food or something and computers or something and no computers are going to do it all for us. well, that will be replaced by computers well. but computers as well. but apparently lot hours are apparently a lot of hours are lost congestion the lost to congestion so the average driver loses lost 80 hours to congestion last year. and if you're doing a lot driving if you're an uber driver or something like that, you're going to lose any more. and in london, it's even worse. so the average driver the capital average driver in the capital spends average hours spends an average of 156 hours sitting in. so that's like 20 full, you know, full days and, you know , eight hour days you know, eight hour days sitting in traffic. it's crazy. and the great thing about driverless cars is because there's going to be a time when there's going to be a time when there's driverless cars on the road. but we'll also be driving around well. you just around as well. you can just drive these driverless cars drive out these driverless cars because with sensors because the fitted with sensors and they see in, and stuff, they see you come in, they've got like move out of

they've got to like move out of they've got to like move out of the way because a robot. the way because they're a robot. they respond. so you can they just respond. so you can totally believe yeah totally believe them. yeah because worry of because there's no worry of robots point reaching a robots at some point reaching a level consciousness level of consciousness and rising us. this when rising up against us. this when we need to bully the robot so you know who's really in charge. yeah, remember that yeah, i know. remember that later drunk. like we later on you got drunk. like we remember driving our car. remember you driving our car. and will be and even the toaster will be angry you one day in the angry with you one day in the future. i say my alexa, just future. i say to my alexa, just in the uprising i'm in case the uprising yeah, i'm an extra polite as well the toaster in the bath in the. yeah. don't do it. no, no you're kidding. well. kidding. the toaster as well. you forget that. they'll you forget about that. they'll be it day. this be angry about it one day. this is one of those examples where efficiency makes things more inefficient because everyone will driverless cars. will be using driverless cars. people, wouldn't people, old people who wouldn't drive sit in the drive normally can sit in the car day and they will sit car all day and they will sit all very often all day. so very often efficiency things efficiency makes things less and it's much like viagra came it's very much like viagra came out and it meant the loss of old people could have sex for who weren't before. it weren't able to before. and it was was a lot of very was over that was a lot of very damaged old vaginas. i wish i hadnt damaged old vaginas. i wish i hadn't said that. i sort of think of the point i was making.

i'm going to leave anyway. it's been doing this, but this is this is just a nonsense report. i mean, is actually going i mean, this is actually going to happen. they're going to find ways of the cars. know ways of the cars. i know they will, because they're because they're driving and they'll they're self driving and they'll be to very close to be able to sit very close to each and for almost each other and for almost trains. so it'll actually be be very oh, if it works properly, what goes traffic is what goes wrong in traffic is that the cars should move that all the cars should move together starts together once movement starts and one at and it doesn't, they move one at and it doesn't, they move one at a and everyone bunches. a time and everyone bunches. yeah. theoretically, if they yeah. so theoretically, if they can work, everything moves far more efficiently. yeah, more efficiently. but yeah, there'll cars , the road, there'll be more cars, the road, there'll be more cars, the road, there'll people will not there'll be people who will not even in the car. if you've even get in the car. if you've got can even get in the car. if you've got car, you send the got a driver's car, you send the car you and probably car to work for you and probably do the job you as well. to do the job for you as well. to be though, you made the be fair though, you made the very good point that the old people won't be in because people won't be in cars because thanks to yeah, they are thanks to vydra, yeah, they are very home other stuff. very at home doing other stuff. they or getting they get described or getting the london to school. the train into london to school. i'm sorry i said broken up vaginas the way. just came vaginas by the way. it just came out. move on to the out. well, let's move on to the next monday's leo. if next one. monday's daily leo. if you someone has left a you think someone has left a swiss chocolates in a pot overnight, you might be for a

overnight, you might be for in a surprise. so these are 21 of the world's most bizarre laws. so you can't give alcoholic drinks dumps in alaska . they're all dumps in alaska. they're all based on improper reasons. so somebody's moose drunk and somebody's got moose drunk and then then the moose went on a rampage. you know, they've got to i mean, luckily, they don't have hands that can operate an automatic but he got automatic weapon. but he got drunk. moose the drunk. the moose got drunk. the moose. they've stopped. moose. and then they've stopped. they've a law stop giving they've made a law stop giving alcohol, which like that, you alcohol, which is like that, you know, the comedian all know, when the comedian has all the know, when you the rider, you know, when you get who drinks all get that comedian who drinks all the available backstage, the drinks available backstage, you the big male you know, as all the big male overspends. result of overspends. and as a result of the some comedian the club, says some comedian abusers no one, no comedians abusers and no one, no comedians get any drink anymore. i did that this is what the that right. this is what the moose has done. did that in moose has done. i did that in a terrible in a sushi bar. and then the next time then the next the next time i was that, i was like, oh, was doing that, i was like, oh, yeah, wait do this gig yeah, can't wait to do this gig stuff. dinner yeah, some some of the other is illegal to fall asleep meeting kim asleep in a meeting with kim jong i can play this jong un i can play this a defence minister it was executed with an anti—aircraft gun after falling in a meeting falling asleep in a in a meeting with 2014. he should

with kim those 2014. he should be interesting , shouldn't be more interesting, shouldn't he? taken himself. you he? should've taken himself. you think? you're think? but when you when you're kim kill people kim jong un, you can kill people who instead of doing who you know, instead of doing the groundwork yourself. but two years later, another a vice premier for education, phil asleep in a meeting with them and it was executed. i think the first the one thing you're going to do is not fall asleep in a meeting with kim jong un, but no, you're not allowed to drunkenly write a co in scotland. they're talking about the animal. can you can you write so you be sober and write so you can be sober and write so you can be sober and write you be right and write it? you be so right and you sober as the council is. well, i mean, i'll try stick to all those rules. let's move on and by blue monday is and coming up by blue monday is the day of the the most depressing day of the yeah the most depressing day of the year. men don't have friends year. why men don't have friends and why witches are making a comeback once again to .

welcome back to headliners. and

we're about to go through a blue monday which sadly isn't blue because it's a blue movie, which is why i'm now depressed. this is why i'm now depressed. this is from the daily mail. kerry yeah, those scientists types are not the good ones, but the ones with way too much time on their hands decided that hands have decided that tomorrow, called blue. tomorrow, monday is called blue. monday saddest monday because it's the saddest day the year. like you can day of the year. like you can tell any more, but you can tell with everything happening this way, oh, people are more depressed than they are depressed today than they are all anyway. about all year round anyway. about everything . and say everything. and they say apparently this is psychologist dr. cliff. all or work out for me to show how the third monday in january is especially i think they came up with this back in they came up with this back in the days when there was one sad day when people used cry in their affordable homes. what for a day before funk said nothing else to do because there's so much to have to have other much time to have to have other kinds of fun. and basically is after christmas and they saying kinds of fun. and basically is after you stmas and they saying kinds of fun. and basically is after you stmas ado they saying kinds of fun. and basically is after you stmas ado aboutaying kinds of fun. and basically is after you stmas ado about it'ing kinds of fun. and basically is after you stmas ado about it is; what you should do about it is health experts recommend a mix of and vitamin d to of fruit and veg, vitamin d to help your mood, even

help raise your mood, even health experts become so health experts have become so down never like down now, it's never like dog food anything like this. food or anything else like this. i'll you. yeah, unless you i'll kill you. yeah, unless you watch which would watch tick tock. which would give as an answer. it's give you that as an answer. it's a depressing recommendation. i feel after hearing the feel worse after hearing the recommendation. only recommendation. yeah it's only mondays outside beginning of mondays outside the beginning of a . it's a day when you go, a week. it's a day when you go, oh, got to do this again. oh, i've got to do this again. yeah well, this is what the pick isn't because i am also january isn't because i am also january is worst of all the months is the worst of all the months and three and means you're and then three and means you're furthest pay day, furthest away from the pay day, blah are the of blah blah. these are the kind of new they write down an new where they write down an equafion new where they write down an equation means you equation that means nothing. you put there. you look put a stigma in there. you look yeah. fancy with a go if factors including the average time new year's to feel so year's resolutions to feel so apparently right about now everybody's marking up a cigarette having drink or cigarette or having a drink or taking heroin. oh, that's taking some heroin. oh, that's a good idea. vitamin or i good idea. come vitamin or i shouldn't. yeah, i totally. let's move on to the guardian and journalists at the guardian have found new way to make have found a new way to make themselves boring. themselves even more boring. giving alcohol . yeah. this giving up alcohol. yeah. so this is i mean, this is following on from what we're talking about, new resolution, new year's resolution, apparently lots of people have given anyway , given up alcohol anyway, especially people. so

especially young people. so between 2002 and 2019. such roughly you was just under two decades. and the number of 16 to 24 year olds in england who reported monthly drinking fell from 67% to 41. so this less than half. i can't imagine that when i was aged six, 18 to 24, five years ago, that was mean . five years ago, that was mean. that would have been unthinkable going more than half you not drinking in an entire month. a month is a amount of time, especially when you're young. so it's ridiculous. and apparently bumble. the dating app is reporting that a third of its british are now more british users are now more likely go on a dry date and likely to go on a dry date and have a dry after date as well. yeah, yeah , yeah. with the yeah, yeah, yeah. with the broken old saying, we all know i've apologised, i regret that . i've apologised, i regret that. professor david nutt, who is who was fired as the government's drug tsar for suggesting that it wasn't as dangerous as alcohol. in fact nothing, none of the drugs were as dangerous as alcohol. and so he's actually

come up with he's invented drugs that are like alcohol. the drink, you don't get wasted. drink, but you don't get wasted. you just you stay at the sort of steady buzz i like. david and he's great, actually. he confided in me at the time, but he's a great name for. yeah a really good name in an off year. and i, i don't understand people who are against addiction. i don't get out of don't know how they get out of bed, they don't have any bed, know they don't have any reason they still manage reason to, but they still manage somehow. i think what happened is our generation is that our generation was so much generation much fun and each generation then rebelled then rebels. so they've rebelled this by becoming just this time by becoming just incredibly boring. i mean, they're right. they're absolutely but absolutely righteous. yeah, but how male how dull. yeah. mondays male kerry being scammed kerry and men are being scammed by women claiming cast for by women claiming to cast for them. don't think they just. them. i don't think they just. they should be reviewed by. all right is going to right which magazine is going to get to the button? come on. on that nice. i don't think that very nice. i don't think it's just women though. i think this is cut artists of men as well. but rather than just you're right, there's plenty of women. but but look, if it's waller i know i realise you did there. self—proclaimed witches, waller i know i realise you did there. spractitionerned witches, waller i know i realise you did there. spractitioner and witches, waller i know i realise you did there. spractitioner and healers waller i know i realise you did theiconningtitioner and healers waller i know i realise you did theiconning desperated healers waller i know i realise you did

theiconning desperate people, �*s are conning desperate people, says the daily . what do you says the daily. what do you mean? all this? like they've been holding on to this story since the beginning of human. this has been going for on a very long time. i am . i'll just very long time. i am. i'll just mention i'm off to australia for a few months and i'm doing a around australia called the dead don't heckle. and it's really about this it's about all of the pseudo sciences and so which pseudo sciences and so on, which we've long time, we've had for a long time, homoeopathy is still a masters. it's a massive dollar it's a massive billion dollar industry. three industry. we had three homoeopathic hospitals paid for by the nhs a few years ago, which fortunately they shut down. that was the madness, the time, you don't time, you know. and if you don't much about homoeopathy, the idea of has memory we it of the water has memory we it doesn't to have memory then doesn't have to have memory then water a kettle water wouldn't go into a kettle because remember did to because it remember you did to it last you know you it last time you know you wouldn't to build wouldn't have to build build dams just to spring dams because you just to spring a and tell you to not do a canal and tell you to not do that again. but it's the age of crazy and all these type of energies to energy. call energies goes to energy. i call it energy. i'm going to use the word energy for that swear word, because it's a really weak, pathetic energy. the can someone

goesit pathetic energy. the can someone goes it can cure diseases that cure themselves any way. if you leave them alone, only you know, big, it can bend a fork, but it can't make a fork right? it can't make a fork right? it can't put a fork straight. yeah, it can bend it or ruin your house. sorry, i think it's missing some of the tenets of homoeopathy. are being used by the nhs so the idea that the nhs now. so the idea that you you know, you can dissolve, you know, a small bit of something that might be useful in a huge amount of so the nhs is taking of water. so the nhs is taking a small amount of doctor and dissolving there's lovely dissolving it. there's a lovely stuff as it goes. i used to be a chemist for all of it, so i love talking chemistry. it's something like the concentrations they deal. in homoeopathy, there's concentrations they deal. in homoeopathy,there's 40% homoeopathy, there's a 40% chance not single chance there's not even a single molecule you're molecule of the thing you're talking to chance in nothing. there's there'svirtually there's no there's virtually chance any it. once chance of any of it. and once you've watered down and sort you've watered down and you sort of bang like times or of have to bang it like times or so something, it depends is so on something, it depends is you being with it's buying cocaine in london ? yes. it's cocaine in london? yes. it's like run these like we want to run these metros. it's an epidemic of loneliness among leo. and if it's an epidemic, we should stay

isolated. yeah, well, we never. we go in spending time we never go in spending time together after the show because we're and those men . men we're men. and those men. men don't have friends. this person doesn't it does doesn't realise it does this. we're of all my friends going, oh, what want friends? it's oh, what you want friends? it's a of weakness . so losing a sign of weakness. so losing one's friends, white men , having one's friends, white men, having a loneliness crisis and how they can fix it by not can fix it, then fix it by not worrying about it. you're not supposed to have any friends. you're and you're supposed you're a man and you're supposed to and austere and to just be stoic and austere and waste . but yeah, this guy, you waste. but yeah, this guy, you know, the modern world is not know, in the modern world is not built for men. you know? i guess not for some. it's less. not for some. louis it's less. he's more vessels in his is vessels are in the wrong place. i would be so clueless but he he after he left school, he didn't make any friends. it's a bad novel, isn't it? this is lives in milton. what? they read the whole story about some bloke. we don't. but he finally is the family in football. and then he made friends with the people he plays. that's terrible plays. but that's a terrible novel. such novel. i was having such a really bad life and it was

awful. i had no friends. then i found football. i oh, thanks. i was worth a whole page two. yeah. really this is you yeah. and really this is you know, he's saying that men don't hang around much anymore. hang around much more anymore. and can't and that's because men can't hang bands like they hang around in bands like they used and bit of fun used to and have a bit of fun around pub without getting around the pub without getting into any kind of trouble. yeah you i think you're in you know, i think you're in trouble all as i was in trouble all the time as i was in nowadays. yeah. they don't have trouble all the time as i was in nov1same. yeah. they don't have trouble all the time as i was in nov1 same. yeanfthey don't have trouble all the time as i was in nov1same. yeanf mandon't have trouble all the time as i was in nov1 same. yeanf man friends. ve the same kind of man friends. maybe that's because maybe maybe that's because they've atomised modern they've got atomised in a modern life. separated and life. we're all separated and you yeah, yeah. but you know. yes, yeah, yeah. but as, someone is like as, as someone who is like northern generation x bloke, i don't emotions, don't don't need emotions, i don't need understand need friends. i don't understand a entire article you're a of this entire article you're quite. yes, yeah. yeah. why would have people slowing it down that. pint of bitter would have people slowing it dowi that. pint of bitter would have people slowing it dowi lovethat. pint of bitter would have people slowing it dowi loveth little 1t of bitter would have people slowing it dowi loveth little cryf bitter would have people slowing it dowi loveth little cry butter and i love a little cry but i love how you justify your empty existence all we've existence see that's all we've got for a thank you to my got time for a thank you to my lovely but not friends lovely guests but not friends leo and kerry i just way leo kearse and kerry i just way back tomorrow it's 11 with simon evans howie nick dixon evans josh howie and nick dixon and remember their headline and to remember their headline is and at 5 is repeated at 1 am. and at 5 am, which if you're watching, a.m, which if you're watching, you tuned for . a.m, which if you're watching, you tuned for. the you can stay tuned for. the breakfast after break. breakfast show just after break. and we're back tomorrow . it's 11

and we're back tomorrow. it's 11 more headliners till then. have a good .

the prime minister prepares new police powers to crack down on protesters . good morning. at protesters. good morning. at 6:00. it's monday, the 16th of january. this is breakfast on gb news with eamonn holmes and isabel webster leading the news this morning. rishi sunak will give the police new tools to stop disruption by groups like extinction rebellion and just stop oil. the pm will say that the legislation is aimed at cracking down on guerrilla

tactics .