hello welcome back. you watching gb news? i'm bethany elsey with your top stories. more than 23,700 people have been killed and 5 million displaced after major hit southern turkey , major hit southern turkey, northern syria on monday . northern syria on monday. several children have been rescued from the rubble today ,

rescued from the rubble today, including a ten day old baby and his mother. he survived four days in a collapsed building . an days in a collapsed building. an appeal by the uk's disaster emergency committee has raised more than emergency committee has raised more tha n £30 million in its more than £30 million in its first day. meanwhile government has given permission for humanitarian aid to be sent to rebel held areas as president joe biden has ordered . high joe biden has ordered. high altitude object the size of a small car to be shot down over alaska the us air force downed . alaska the us air force downed. the object that was flying at 40,000 feet and posed reasonable threat to civilian flight . the threat to civilian flight. the pentagon says it's similar in size to the suspected chinese spy size to the suspected chinese spy plane that was downed the coast of south carolina on saturday. white house spokesman john kirby says a recovery is underway . we don't know . as underway. we don't know. as i said, state owned, we don't know if it's state and we don't understand the full purpose . we understand the full purpose. we don't have any comment we don't

have any information that would be subject. we do expect to be able to recover the debris since it fell only within our territorial but on what we what we believe is frozen water so it recovery effort will be made and we're hopeful that it will be successful and then we can learn a little bit more about protesters have reported thrown missiles and damaged a police car at a rally in merseyside . car at a rally in merseyside. officers are dealing with group protesting against refugees and at a counter protest after it descended into chaos . knowsley descended into chaos. knowsley mp sir george howarth said the protest was triggered an alleged incident on social and he criticised misinformation. merseyside police says there have been no injuries. merseyside police says there have been no injuries . the have been no injuries. the latest figures show the uk

economy narrowly avoided falling into recession in the final quarter of last year. data from the office for national statistics shows, the economy saw zero growth between october and december. but the overall annual gdp rate grew by 4.1. the chancellor, jeremy hunt , chancellor, jeremy hunt, welcomed the figures but warned there's still more to be done . there's still more to be done. we are not out of the woods , is we are not out of the woods, is still much too high , is causing still much too high, is causing pain for families up and down the country is why we need to stick to our plan. halve inflation if we do that and play to our strengths. science and technology we really can be one of the most prosperous countries in europe. europe date on tv online. india be plus radio. this is tv news. now it's time for headliners headliners .

for headliners headliners. hello, i'm andrew doyle and to headliners. joining me tonight are two animals of the comedy scene. mr. turtleneck himself , scene. mr. turtleneck himself, daniel o'reilly, a.k.a. dapper laughs and our very own big dog . it's nick dixon. but before we let these two beasts off their leashes. let's a quick look at saturday's front pages. daily mail running with i'm convinced my nicola's not in the river that's more in the nick nobody disappearance the telegraph has a similar story i'm 100% convinced nicola isn't in the river that's her partner speaking there. the guardian is running tories plot, running with tories plot, childcare in budget free childcare. they're proposing that times has learnt work skills, all face benefits . skills, all face benefits. jobless told and they express . jobless told and they express. tell us, harry, are you coming to coronation is a note of exasperation there from the royal and the daily star has a lovely optimistic story. the sun is falling to bits so we're all

doomed. and those your front pages. doomed. and those your front pages . we're going to kick pages. we're going to kick things off with the front page of saturday's guardian. dan, what have they gone for ? well, what have they gone for? well, on the face of it, it looks like quite a positive story. you think the treasury is considering proposal to massively expand free childcare for one and two year olds in england in a move would cost billions. the department of education have submitted a plan for free 30 hours a week. entitlement working parents and yeah they're expanding this this this free childcare which to looks like they're preparing for a general election and maybe maybe my right yeah it might be there's been some focus groups and mothers are unlikely to be voting tory at the moment something like that but but that there's a lot more problems that come into this i've got two young daughters and you know i'm a little bit in tune with what they've got to deal with these

places and the funding doesn't exactly cover the service that i've got so bye by chucking more more funding in there more people more more kids in that it could be hard for them to manage i mean it's really hard if they're thinking of seriously doing for absolutely doing this for absolutely everyone kids, small everyone who has kids, small children, isn't it? that's you're mean, you're talking about i mean, i understand this understand it's difficult. this is going to expensive. where the money's money money's coming where's the money coming that is coming from, nick? yeah, that is a question. it nice, a key question. it sounds nice, but how afford it when we but how can we afford it when we know over the country are know over half the country are taking out they're taking more out than they're putting we found out putting in in tax. we found out the other day so one wonders why the other day so one wonders why the money's gonna come from then again term it's again in the long term it's going money as robin going to make money as robin walker saying here, you've got to consider how much you'll save through increased economic activity. long term, activity. so in the long term, of there's that. of course, there's that. and also have low birth. so we also we do have low birth. so we do need incentivise having do need to incentivise having children possible. children in every way possible. but about it's but then it's about i think it's about that i'm just broadening it too, if you think about it, you create you don't want to create disincentives for people to have kids they can't, know, if kids if they can't, you know, if

they're about childcare they're worried about childcare or saying or something. i'm just saying everything should be done to make easier for people make things easier for people with not going to do with kids. i'm not going to do i'm going them, but i'm going to have them, but everyone else should. but you might yeah, might might now. yeah, but this might happen can afford to happen now. you can afford to have i it's in your have done. i mean it's in your theory's that this is them trying to this is one of the many things that the tories are going and do to going to try and do to desperately win back voters. so then the point mean, then what's the point i mean, yeah, i mean yeah, yeah. it's yeah. like last yeah. think it's like a last ditch attempt and yeah i don't think going of think it's going to work of myself may either. but anyway think it's going to work of myse|going either. but anyway think it's going to work of myse|going to :her. but anyway think it's going to work of myse|going to move ut anyway think it's going to work of myse|going to move on anyway think it's going to work of myse|going to move on anywito we're going to move on now to the front of saturday's the front page of saturday's times. what are running times. what are they running with? they've learn work with? yeah, they've learn work skills or face benefit, jobless toll. so have been benefits toll. so i have been on benefits in so i know in my troubled youth, so i know a about for myself, but a bit about for myself, but they've got this plan for universal claimants to attend the daily universal claimants to attend the to daily universal claimants to attend the to face daily universal claimants to attend the to face appointments.aily universal claimants to attend the to face appointments. now face to face appointments. now the problem is it will be with people jobcentres and people in jobcentres and famously jobcentres are absolutely they're absolutely awful and they're describing as a carrot describing this a as a carrot and stick bid to tackle unemployment. yet to see unemployment. i've yet to see the i can see the stick the carrot i can see the stick because if they refuse to attend they'll lose their entire

universal standard allowance, which will be 330 491 a month. so my problem with this is it's fine in reality like in principle learning skills, skills to get back to work is fine. they're trying to avoid this thing where you're out this thing where if you're out of work for 13 you're far of work for 13 weeks, you're far less statistically to get less likely statistically to get back . that's all fine, back into work. that's all fine, but will be but in reality it will be rubbish . what be done in rubbish. what be done in jobcentres? and i'm sure there's lots people working in lots of great people working in jobcentres, but in experience jobcentres, but in my experience they're places. they they're pretty bad places. they don't help anyone don't really help anyone get a job you have to sort of job and you have to sort of do it on own, really? i think it on your own, really? i think so. proposing that they're going to for skills for to be trained for skills for work within the jobcentre. i can't imagine that. yeah, they're that at they're going to go for that at best. just a so it's just best. it's just a so it's just not just going to have to keep seeing someone every day in a face, appointment that face, face appointment that won't achieve anything. face, face appointment that wo itt achieve anything. face, face appointment that wo it to achieve anything. face, face appointment that wo it to me achieve anything. face, face appointment that wo it to me it's|ieve anything. face, face appointment that wo it to me it's just anything. face, face appointment that wo it to me it's just sortthing. face, face appointment that wo it to me it's just sort of1g. so it to me it's just sort of nonsense. i mean, this is the problem with this, isn't it? i mean, if you if you're saying to these unemployed people, you have to the have continually come in to the jobcentre meetings, jobcentre for these meetings, endless meetings, they won't have to a job. well have time to find a job. well i think it could work because i

can't think anything worse can't think of anything worse than got into a jobcentre and having meetings in there. every single i might single day. so that i might think might you think they might think, you know, actually to get know, i'm actually going to get a instead of doing this. a job instead of doing this. what i think what i think what i think what what i think would off the four would be more is off the four imams. say there's imams. you could say there's loads ways that people can make money from loads ways that people can make money not from loads ways that people can make money not only from loads ways that people can make money not only funds, from loads ways that people can make money not only funds, for from home. not only funds, for instance i laugh and ijoke, but, you know, after three months, them if they months, tell them if they don't get helping on any funds get a job helping on any funds account, might offering account, they might offering something. everyone has your something. and everyone has your sexual you sexual magnetism. no doubt you know doesn't really know and only doesn't really work could do of andrew work they could do one of andrew tate's something tate's online courses something like you to make like that to help you to make money you see to the trouble money now you see to the trouble because trying because i remember trying to claim unemployed and in a claim i was unemployed and in a bad and it was so bad, i bad way and it was so bad, i just said, i won't eat. i'd rather not eat well, actually done. and said he was joking. but actually right. the but actually he was right. the only up getting job. only you end up getting a job. in it is so going in my experience it is so going in that you just don't know that. i think that's what it is. it's like trying to it's like they're trying to annoy doing it, but if annoy him into doing it, but if they actually him they could actually teach him something that would get him that way they could

that teach them a way they could make own money. that's why i say, yeah, an influencer. say, yeah, become an influencer. well, let's well, online. all right, let's go front of telegraph go to the front of the telegraph now. what's all about now. dan, what's this all about let a look here. so let me have a look here. so bofis let me have a look here. so boris partygate boris johnson, partygate inquiry faces obstacles faces new obstacles to proving his guilt. so whistleblower witnesses should witnesses told that they should not be anonymous not expect to be kept anonymous . investigation into whether . the investigation into whether bofis . the investigation into whether boris misled boris johnson knowingly misled mps over partygate is struggling to prove his guilt because basically what they're saying is look come on give us evidence are going to cross you out the pageif are going to cross you out the page if you're still scared of him i mean does he wield that much power now? they well, you don't know what these politicians each other. politicians got on each other. oh, must also. oh, they must have also. that's what saying. so i want to what i'm saying. so i want to cross case he crosses cross him up in case he crosses them that's what boris them up. and that's what boris strikes me as the sort that would keep hold keep would keep hold and keep information. yet he what information. yet he knows. what do well, they that do you think? well, they that didn't he was that didn't they when he was in that it of a mafia feel. it was sort of a mafia feel. it's hard to imagine you it's hard to imagine when you picture said picture but they always said that you know he sort of picked his favourites. if are loyal his favourites. if you are loyal him if you are him you got rewarded if you are disloyal you will punish me. yeah, sort of yeah, there was some sort of this clownish and this cabinet being clownish and i that

i know i think that may be a ruse i think really he's a more sort of a gangster like figure who is going to . yes, who is going to. yes, interesting. of course, it interesting. and of course, it maybe will come back as the leader tories day. leader of the tories one day. and him that way. leader of the tories one day. and him that way . and and then whack him that way. and also on the front of the telegraph about nicola telegraph that the about nicola but his partner who's100% convinced that she isn't in the river is very sad story and it's going and on for good reason going on and on for good reason and the daily also has a picture of but partnered of nicola, but he's partnered with then story , the with her and then the story, the royal that's not giving royal family that's not giving away what's yeah, away. what's this about? yeah, show to this one. it's just show me to this one. it's just i don't . i'll show me to this one. it's just i don't. i'll have a look. i'll have a look, harry. i mean , the have a look, harry. i mean, the oldest. i'm just interested . old oldest. i'm just interested. old no way stuff about prince sorry. and all the old stuff in his autobiography. all the stuff that come out . i love it. but that come out. i love it. but yeah, they're basically saying prince harry and prince harry. prince harry and meghan included meghan markle have been included on the coronation guest list , so on the coronation guest list, so the king is going to invite them . i that. reckon that . i love that. i reckon that they recognised should they all recognised should invite woman to come invite also the woman to come out that they this very out recently that they this very place to get a row. i mean i love the saga continues let's

have another after i go to the event and, see what happened. but this is interesting that's saying they're going to do the seating plan so that harry and his brother together. his brother seen together. i mean, is hopeless. what mean, this is hopeless. what i don't want have another don't want to have another scrap. know what i mean? scrap. do you know what i mean? i should have another. i they should have another. don't bowl situation. didn't one of throw the other into of them throw the other into a dog bowl? i don't but dog bowl? i don't know. but you know, was like, when you get know, i was like, when you get stressed, on stressed, they'll end up on a cashless brutal. cashless know, brutal. okay let's is the daily let's move on. this is the daily star. daily star. they often do these of sort of faux these kind of sort of faux armageddon scary science stuff. yeah sun is falling to bits and they don't mean the newspaper. sadly, it's the sun, the famous life giving all in sky orb. yeah, all because i wasn't sure to what call it. it is an orb. i think it can. so they're saying material from , a filament of material from, a filament of plasma that erupted from the sun can be seen swirling atop the giant ball of fire that's the sun. and remarkable footage shared on social media. so yeah so something a chunk of a of it's broken off and this is from the nasa's solar dynamics

observatory and apparently that's that's irregular no one knows what that's not typical bits of the sun coming off so yeah and so there's some concern about this. i mean, you know, we kind of need it to make sure it's not typical. i mean, this is a big news. no one knows what to make of it things fly out of it all the time. well off it. what think crazy is what i think is crazy is a massive the sun has massive chunk of the sun has come in a tiny star. the come off in a tiny star. the only people who picked up on it. right. so this it right. so maybe this is it should be on phone cover. right. so maybe this is it shorharry. on phone cover. right. so maybe this is it shorharry. we phone cover. right. so maybe this is it shorharry. we only phone cover. right. so maybe this is it shorharry. we only ph0|abouter. right. so maybe this is it shorharry. we only ph0|about it not harry. we only care about it should everywhere if it's should be everywhere if it's true. this massive love. true. this is massive love. the daily they this my daily star. they said this is my kind i'm not going to kind of stone. i'm not going to worry don't the worry because i don't think the daily the scoop on daily star have the scoop on this just i don't this one. i just i just don't believe it. i think this is probably the sort of thing that must happen, this suspicious must happen, all this suspicious that paper must happen, all this suspicious th isn't paper must happen, all this suspicious thisn't it? paper must happen, all this suspicious th isn't it? doesn't paper must happen, all this suspicious th isn't it? doesn't that'siper must happen, all this suspicious th isn't it? doesn't that's what is isn't it? doesn't that's what i mean. yeah. okay well that's enough of front pages. but enough of the front pages. but after going to after the break, we're going to be the newspapers and be going into the newspapers and we'll stories, we'll becoming very stories, including is including amsterdam, which is amsterdam, up a stream of degeneracy edinburgh degeneracy. why edinburgh is increasing. and why increasing. there and why truancy is back with a

vengeance. so we'll you in a couple of minutes .

i'm andrew doyle. welcome to headliners your first look at saturday's newspapers and i am joined tonight two comedians dan o'reilly and nick dixon. we can begin this section with i'm going to start with the i paper some breaking news here in the i what's the breaking news which means i don't to know too much detail but this is clashed with police merseyside hotel police outside merseyside hotel which is thought to house asylum seekers. so inevitable seekers. so the inevitable tension you're going to get with with catastrophe we have with people coming the country people coming into the country and although obviously and so on. although obviously asylum different from, asylum seekers different from, you migrants who, you you know, migrants who, you know, if they're actual legitimate seekers anyway, it's nasty and kicked off they're describing it as an initially peaceful protest which reminds of means so

of that mostly peaceful means so yes initially peaceful but missiles started flying not rockets, but missiles of some sort kind thing. yeah, but this is the worry isn't it that they kind of, you know when protests turn violent these aren't the who are going to really delineate between illegal immigrants and actual asylum seekers who need help and you know often those people get caught up this kind of thing. it's fair. it done it's not really fair. is it done well? but you know, well? no. but you know, imagine sending them , you know, it's sending them, you know, it's like now whoever these like they've now whoever these people are, if they've been struggling they're people are, if they've been strugglall they're people are, if they've been strugglall this, they'reey're seeing all this, they're struggling . i'll struggling again. i'll personally i'll think of the working class, this country and in these areas people are probably just at like the government are helping these people spending money on these people spending money on these people not helping us? people and not helping us? that's how these does that. that's how these does that. that's frustration can that's the frustration that can be with working be the frustration with working class can't class at the moment. i can't they transports ruined they can't the transports ruined you can't get an ambulance if you can't get an ambulance if you you you can't afford to you you know you can't afford to pay you you know you can't afford to pay bills can't. and then pay your bills can't. and then now asylum are moving in the government that. government are paying for that. people . yes. so you people are angry. yes. so you can understand why they saw by

escalate suppose my point is escalate i suppose my point is sometimes are misdirected. sometimes they are misdirected. you know, be misdirected against people anything. of people who haven't anything. of course. yeah, of course. yeah and that's sad thing. but and that's the sad thing. but anyway, on anyway, we're going to move on to story, is from to this story, which is from saturday telegraph. should we saturday telegraph. so should we talk sex and drugs. oh god. finally, something i can relate to amsterdam. all of that was very, you know, all the stories at the beginning, really a bit much for you. amsterdam, much for you. but now amsterdam, the light district. i the red light district. i can relax . some people would feel relax. some people would feel the opposite that they'd be scared of talking about oh get this and in i thought i could relax until i read this brothels will be forced to close earlier under regulations due out in under new regulations due out in may designed to help up the city's smoking cannabis city's image smoking cannabis outside in amsterdam in the red light district will soon be made illegal and brothels are forced close earlier under new rules. now this is because the local residents that live in amsterdam are getting fed of the smell of marijuana and of all the stoned people walking around and everyone in the red light district , which why did

everyone in the red light district, which why did you everyone in the red light district , which why did you move district, which why did you move to amsterdam if you're annoyed about that stuff ? and i think about that stuff? and i think it's bad to close close them early because, you know, everyone knows if you go to amsterdam the later you go to the brothels, the smaller council, i have to say that might experience of this is not the extensive as yours i should say i been to amsterdam say. i have been to amsterdam and you since and i'm with you and since i'm surprised they didn't know surprised that they didn't know when you buy a house in amsterdam, know. yeah. amsterdam, you know. yeah, yeah. it'd stone. i didn't it'd be a lot of stone. i didn't know was actually actual residents everyone was residents in before everyone was just stoned and having just out there stoned and having still . so just out there stoned and having still. so nic, i imagine you're going take a kind going to take a more kind of approach. no, i've got a mixed view because in one way it's the continued march of the police. we had this thing where we already had this thing where you book prostitute you had to book the prostitute online, came in and online, which came in and amsterdam sort of in the this amsterdam of sort of in the this is story we covered few is a story we covered a few weeks ago me personally but this was a story you're going to for safety, the safety, a book. but then the actual sex complaining, actual sex were complaining, saying but so saying it won't be safe, but so of although i deplored of course, although i deplored the behaviour and i also hate the behaviour and i also hate the safety culture so anodyne

safety culture because it's a unique culture experience going to amsterdam, it's to amsterdam, you know, it's supposed be for degenerate hippies and now what you're saying is they they can't saying is they know they can't have do that and that's have fun and do that and that's synonymous amsterdam, synonymous with amsterdam, although just to give balance on that it's saying that as well, it's saying brothels closed at 3 am. brothels were closed at 3 am. instead 6 hours. so not instead of 6 hours. so not a massive change if you can't get get done three, i mean, get it done by three, i mean, you to till six. you really need to up till six. well, might just want to well, you might not just want to do the thing. you do one. that's the thing. you might want to get while you over there. might want to i heard there. you might want to i heard you banned anyway. let's you can be banned anyway. let's move watching. move on because i was watching. so i go there once so i mean, i did go there once and i did round red and i did walk round the red light. feel a bit grim to light. i did feel a bit grim to me. suppose i'm the me. but then i suppose i'm the target. yeah, but it's supposed me. but then i suppose i'm the ta|be.. yeah, but it's supposed me. but then i suppose i'm the ta|be. yeah, but it's supposed me. but then i suppose i'm the ta|be. yeah it's|t it's supposed me. but then i suppose i'm the ta|be. yeah it's just; supposed me. but then i suppose i'm the ta|be. yeah it's just like»posed me. but then i suppose i'm the ta|be. yeah it's just like the ad to be. yeah it's just like the streets. yeah it's, you know, that's where you go and people go that's the go it for the drugs. that's the reason if they that, if reason why if they made that, if it, illegal, then it, if make that illegal, then yeah. to affect the yeah. it's going to affect the tourism you know. i mean. tourism 100, you know. i mean. yeah. so anyway, we're going to move let's go to the this move on and let's go to the this is to saturday times is on to saturday times edinburgh. planning edinburgh. now you're planning on time on going to edinburgh any time soon. hopefully soon. oh no. hopefully i'll never go again. not not attacking but attacking attacking the city but attacking the sick of

the festival, which i'm sick of because i hate comedy world. because i hate the comedy world. but is edinburgh, the strip but this is edinburgh, the strip clubs when legal to overturn ban so sticking a theme so so we're sticking a theme so there this there was an there was this there was an attempt to there was a question about was strip clubs be about which was strip clubs be legal i remember legal or not. yeah i remember this. you them in this. could you them in a discretionary based on a discretionary based on a discretionary meaning discretionary base meaning socially others. socially as some but not others. but judge richardson, has but this judge richardson, has ruled you can't ruled that, no, you can't really do so you're just do like that. so you're just going to overturn the going to have to overturn the whole. then they already do it in already ban the in the council already ban the strip that kind of strip clubs and that kind of thing. now thing. they tried to, but now they can't, and this is they can't, though. and this is i overturning the i understand, overturning the ban. that's point. ban. yeah, that's the point. yes, already you yes, there was already you remember from earlier shows, there moral they there was this moral where they were well , can strip, but were like, well, can strip, but they've wear their they've got to wear their clothes which tricky one. clothes which is a tricky one. the stripping goes and that was because of this sort of because of this weird sort of conflict in culture conflict in our culture between on it wants to on the one hand it wants to celebrate girl bosses on the one hand it wants to celeigeta girl bosses on the one hand it wants to celeiget to girl bosses on the one hand it wants to celeiget to strip girl bosses on the one hand it wants to celeiget to strip if girl bosses on the one hand it wants to celeiget to strip if want.l bosses on the one hand it wants to celeiget to strip if want. butsses on the one hand it wants to celeiget to strip if want. but at s who get to strip if want. but at the same time there's this middle panic about so middle class panic about it. so they what? you they said, tell you what? you could strip with your clothes on and mental. it's the and that was mental. so it's the same thing as the same kind of thing as the amsterdam story. it's like i've never been club. maybe

never been a strip club. maybe maybe but the point maybe i'd like it. but the point is this why don't like is your authoritarianism especially from the woke left and the nicholas sturgeon and mob you sturgeon and mob saying you can't these it's always can't have these it's always like that in like that way. that way in scotland scotland scotland though. i mean scotland the church the the very much the church the presbyterian has a big presbyterian church has a big sway other sort of sexual sway over other sort of sexual elements, but edinburgh isn't known thing. known for this kind of thing. it's different from amsterdam, isn't yeah in general isn't it? yeah think in general cities have strip clubs. i think that there's a little of a grey area , some pubs can get their area, some pubs can get their licences and like a pound in a poundin licences and like a pound in a pound in a jar and a woman just gets up and strip so they're not like strip clubs. so things heard again, but the so i think what the problem is here is, is the legal battle between pubs just doing it and official strip clubs . but i just doing it and official strip clubs. but i think you just doing it and official strip clubs . but i think you know clubs. but i think you know they're old hat like let me let them crack on, you know, it's way of done is it. you've not experience any of these things but you've heard about them like you a lot of time us you spend a lot of time to us about, you lighting on about, you know, lighting on them. i thought of them. i like i thought a lot of extensive culture extensive research for culture for character. i had

for a previous character. i had yeah, . robert deniro, what's yeah, yes. robert deniro, what's up? oh, that's right. bit embarrassing. i mean, from embarrassing. i mean, just from your research, your your research, seen your personal experience, but when you a stripper i mean you go and see a stripper i mean i it a bit funnier i would i find it a bit funnier and bit and it's quite and a bit and it's quite arousing. i had oh yeah. i think that's the point. yeah. i think it's to get excited and yeah yeah, let's move on. i don't know , you don't get to decide know, you don't get to decide when to move on then i might just talk about this 20 minutes now let's go on saturdays got into some good old fashioned trimming to see some yeah so a third of 15 year olds persistently absent from school in england since september. this is in the guardian attendance rates remain lower than before the start of coronavirus so they were low rates we all we all had the pandemic and they're even lower now and a third of the 15 year olds are persistently from classrooms in england . what's classrooms in england. what's this mean? just because they're so used to not going into school from the the from the from the from the from the lockdown, from now they're lockdown, from the now they're like, well, we're not going back. yeah. could have to

back. yeah. and it could have to do they're teaching do with what they're teaching in school yeah it school now. i know, but yeah it looks i'd say look the lockdown the kids used to spending their time at home and they probably just can't be bothered to go and it's not good news is not so it's not good news is not so it's another cost of lockdown. i say that a lot, but that's because it keeps coming up because it keeps coming up because there many of because there so many costs of lockdown and like the lockdown and much like the lockdown and much like the lockdown saw the lockdown where we saw the biggest transfer or biggest wealth transfer ever or whatever poor whatever it affects poor people the article says the most which this article says is the most disadvantaged kids, the of gang in the system, the sort of gang in the system, so to and again , that the so to speak. and again, that the left deeply ashamed left should be deeply ashamed their of lockdowns, their support of lockdowns, because this is another one. the costs know is it is helping costs you know is it is helping the but the right also i mean the but the right also i mean the tory was want to implement implemented left government implemented the left government but okay anyway so yes it's very very unfortunate although of course i hated school so in other sense i'd hate go to school yeah but there's this school but yeah but there's this thing logical, know, thing about logical, you know, i mean know a number of teachers mean i know a number of teachers still because. i used to be teachers and a lot of the posher schools, kids, schools, you know, those kids, they lot out of it they still got a lot out of it

dunng they still got a lot out of it during they during lockdown because they go to zoom and be really to zoom and they'd be really that home and all that have tutors home and all this the this sort of stuff but the poorer they're like poorer kids know they're like different levels of zoom as well like private get like the private schools get zoom comprehensive zoom whereas the comprehensive you after you have get knocked off after 45 something and 45 minutes or something and i think think what this think i think i think what this comes struggled a lot comes down to i struggled a lot in school and when you get to in in school and when you get to a certain point, if you're coming and don't coming up gcse and you don't think going to do well, think you're going to do well, you can have that sort of attitude. i can't attitude. well, i can't be bothered. just going bothered. i'm just not going to do these kids have do it. so if these kids have struggled get done struggled to get it, done at home, get learning home, get, get the learning done, can you done, then they've been can you know that's a real know what? and that's a real because that sort teenage because that sort of teenage apathy the apathy coincides some of the most important exams ever most important exams you ever do. so i'm amazed all time do. so i'm amazed all the time was school because. he's was back to school because. he's so research. that's true so good at research. that's true yeah, yeah. mean yeah, yeah, yeah. i mean i've researched on truancy researched a lot on truancy throughout as yeah. throughout that time as yeah. and saturday and time. okay well saturday now some confidence some classic tory confidence snark. yeah. i don't think win the battle cry any great party tory stepping election on why they're quitting so telegraph has spoken to half the 18 tories have announced they won't seek re—election and they're all saying very similar things. mark

causey is saying it's going to be difficult. crispin blunt i don't think is likely will win. there's various degrees of we definitely we could definitely won't versus we could possibly or probably not. so and you know it's really the tories getting what they deserve for i would say a few things one lack of conservatism that's big one of conservatism that's a big one when called that to when you when you called that to general incompetence which i was no and three removing people that win like boris johnson and andrew bridgen and people like that that i'd put the that and within that i'd put the infighting as well so general mismanagement and. as charles walker said, charles walker here says we put party politics above the the country. the interests of the country. and think sums also and i think that sums up he also mentions was very angry mentions that he was very angry about children that were about telling children that were going their grannies and going to kill their grannies and the right. what the whole covid. right. but what about these people who about i mean, these people who are saying they're stepping down because, think because, they don't think they've winning. they've got a chance of winning. what i what about party loyalty. i mean, they're we're mean, if they're saying we're not we going not running because we i'm going to for tory. to that's not good for the tory. why would they do that? maybe they something that don't they know something that don't know. i mean, if can know. i mean, if you if you can imagine, know what i should be paying. lord, like i said. but if imagine how bad we

if you can imagine how bad we think everything think they are, we've everything we've done if we've seen, they've done if these the inside these people are on the inside as else, what else is going as well else, what else is going on. what is going wrong? mediation, i think, is to be a total from the look total wipe—out from the look things. i just they things. i just don't think they can back at this. we have can claw back at this. we have a huge problem which is that actual as we actual views people have as we just recent stats just saw with the recent stats on, penalty, which is on, the death penalty, which is that britain that most people britain actually when it actually favour. and when it comes crimes like comes to heinous crimes like killing or killing comes to heinous crimes like killing in or killing comes to heinous crimes like killing in a or killing comes to heinous crimes like killing in a terrorist|g comes to heinous crimes like killing in a terrorist act. comes to heinous crimes like killing in a terrorist act . but someone in a terrorist act. but that of thing is of that kind of thing is of absolutely unheard of in the elite, in party politics. so as long as the parties don't represent and there's this massive gap, of course they're going to get spanked at the election. problem election. but the only problem is to even is we're going to have even worse labour and worse parties like, labour and snp the and very snp replacing the and it's very hard come back. i if hard for them to come back. i if bofis hard for them to come back. i if boris had resigned during although i hesitate to tell people own because people that of own because people that of own because people it me people have been doing it to me on twitter. but if boris resigned he could have come back. something back. now if he'd done something good that time obviously he's got party and that whole scandal but yeah i think obviously it must sort they do kind must have sort of they do kind of deserve it. they do and i

know a lot of tory vote people voted traditionally voted tory traditionally who don't want in time. don't want them in next time. but labour get in they but when labour get in they might oh it's might rue that. oh yeah, it's going even worse. anyway, going to be even worse. anyway, saturday's are related crimes are on the rise thank another intelligent story for to hit after that political madness . after that political madness. woman poisoned look alike friend with drugged lice cheesecake i mean this crazy stuff a russian russian born now i'm probably gonna get this wrong victoria anna's nausea all over faces up to 25 she is feeling boss for putin in a front. to 25 she is feeling boss for putin in a front . what this putin in a front. what this woman has done is she's her friend over to help with her eyelashes because she's had an eyelashes because she's had an eyelash dilemma and a friend does eyelashes. and once she's done that, given her done that, she's given her a cheesecake say thanks . the cheesecake to say thanks. the woman's died because they look, cheesecake to say thanks. the womégrabbed because they look, cheesecake to say thanks. the womégrabbed the ause they look, cheesecake to say thanks. the womégrabbed the passport' look, cheesecake to say thanks. the womégrabbed the passport and k, she's grabbed the passport and everything and she's pretending she's she's she's left. she's gone to america. they've come oven gone to america. they've come over, it's all over, found out. but it's all down the cheesecake. it down to the cheesecake. and it reminds cooking. reminds me to watch cooking. she's a couple of she's tried kill me a couple of times well the times that way. well but the woman die. just

woman didn't die. i'm just correct . yes, because she didn't correct. yes, because she didn't die. and that's how die. didn't die. and that's how she when came she got caught. oh, when it came and taken ring and and she'd taken a ring and a passport her whole identity. passport and her whole identity. oh the oh she survived. that's the whole problem. yeah. yeah. you're kill someone with you're got to kill someone with the cheesecake problem, take their make sure their identity. got to make sure they yeah. the from the they go down. yeah. the from the attempted killers perspective when problem. yeah. when i say it's a problem. yeah. no good it's a wonderful no it's a good it's a wonderful thing calls me thing that she survived calls me about this stories amanda about this stories and if amanda somebody like somebody always like it's like toxic this is toxic masculinity and this is what but is this what men are like but is this toxic a sort of toxic femininity a sort of deviously that i mean, deviously poison that i mean, you've the you've got to poison the cheesecake gives it a feminine slant. yeah. i mean, slant. i would say yeah. i mean, that's misogynist, because that's misogynist, but i because my does have, you know, many men as and make good cakes. i as chefs and make good cakes. i don't know. know it's a don't know. but i know it's a good point you're making. good point that you're making. but move on but i wish they would move on probably going to. yeah. probably. we're going to. yeah. let's end part, show. let's end this part, the show. but coming the break, but coming up after the break, we precipice of brave new we on the precipice of brave new internet and we're going to be talking about the blowback on the harry potter game the new harry potter game and also be nice also why, it's smart to be nice also why, it's smart to be nice a cockatoo. i mean, the bird . a cockatoo. i mean, the bird. see you in a minute.

welcome back to headline here's your first look at saturday's newspapers. we're going to kick off this section, the independent and a story i'm incredibly knowledgeable and passionate about stuff. he's got this yeah, i've got this one. but it's actually a good one. this is the internet is about to change and google might lose, which fun. so bing is which always fun. so bing is suddenly going to overtake google a bit like myspace came back and overtook facebook, but bing bing, it was the thing. that's a great question because it's actually my knowledge is actually wrong because no ever used bing bing as a engine. it's kind of like safari. it's kind of google, but bing of you use google, but bing exists and it's there but it like ask jeeves. no, it's pop search and you've got safari, you've got firefox 70, you've got google . oh, i see. you've got google. oh, i see. you've got google. oh, i see. you've got bing. but you just don't know about it because no one

ever uses it. but being is suddenly going come through suddenly going to come through because gpt because bing is working with gpt and folks on and there are more folks on artificial intelligence, whereas google it google have kind of messed it up. taken too long up. they've taken too long because they're worried about rushing intelligence because they're worried about rushing want 1telligence because they're worried about rushing want1te kill�*nce . they didn't want to kill the world, but they've come to a bit too late to market and messed up because they've launched this bad thing. a crucial bad thing. they made a crucial mistake other day, which we mistake the other day, which we covered. of covered. so bing sort of cornered market we're cornered the market and we're going brave new world. so when did start? when can all did this start? when can we all access this is this access this or is this a subscription well, it's subscription thing? well, it's more ongoing it's more about more the ongoing it's more about the ongoing sort of battle over who's going to be the king of a.i. you see, this worries me because . i mean, it strikes me because. i mean, it strikes me as a more sophisticated as just as a more sophisticated search right. there search engine. right. there is no doesn't just tell you the no it doesn't just tell you the top answers. it tells you what top answers. it tells you what to about various to think about the various things you. but things and it gives you. but that we're just going that means that we're just going to computer is to get a of computer that is narrowing overton window narrowing the overton window more yeah. more and more, right? oh, yeah. and than that. be like and be more than that. be like the terminal. know google the terminal. know the google lens tell you what lens is going to tell you what everything look everything like you look up things your now you're things on your phone now you're going to sort of at going to be sort of looking at them time the sky, in

them in real time in the sky, in them in real time in the sky, in the like it's pretty much the air, like it's pretty much like this how like terminator. this is how i see a report. but yes, see it. a report. but yes, you're going to away. just you're going to move away. just search and by but google search to ai. and by but google have so with have been so obsessed with search missed the search they've missed that the ai thinking of ai trainers are you thinking of do ai? i know nothing do you trust ai? i know nothing about going to about this all. i'm not going to pretend that do or i'll use that chat to see if it could write any and they scarily any jokes. and they were scarily good good. good they were actually good. you good. yeah. you were quite good. yeah. kind of i'll of offensive, actually. i'll be honest . but of offensive, actually. i'll be honest. but think all honest. but i think it's all quite how quickly it's moving , quite how quickly it's moving, you know, and kids are using obviously to do their homework and everything that. but and everything like that. but i know about it, going know a lot about it, i'm going to if they're to be honest, but if they're writing what they're writing jokes and what they're doing because isn't it just scouring web and taking scouring the web and taking other what other people's jokes that what it well, you can give it it is? well, now you can give it a it give a subject act and give it give it sure. it's not just it. sure. it's not just plagiarising. no, it's actually, worse. that's plagiarising. no, it's actually, worone that's plagiarising. no, it's actually, wor one thing that's plagiarising. no, it's actually, wor one thing i that's plagiarising. no, it's actually, worone thing i going that's plagiarising. no, it's actually, worone thing i going to that's plagiarising. no, it's actually, worone thing i going to say|t's plagiarising. no, it's actually, worone thing i going to say as the one thing i going to say as well, it's google or well, whether it's google or chat beattie with bing. chat dougie beattie with bing. they're because . they're both woke because. google filters your google sort of filters your search results and what search results and that's what i mean. and that's what you mean. yeah. and that's what you were talking whereas were talking about. and whereas chat tv is even because you ask it a poem praising it right a poem praising trump and but will praise

and it won't, but it will praise biden. harris it's biden. harris so whether it's i will now either way we're will search now either way we're in it's a in trouble. i think it's a disaster we're going disaster anyway. we're going move on to this is from saturday telegraph. this about telegraph. what's this one about app telegraph. what's this one about app this one's this app hogwarts this one's this one's crazy hogwarts legacy exposed the sheer toxicity of harry potter fandom anti j.k. rowling can rowling campiness sorry , i hate rolling it. oh, is sorry, i hate rolling it. oh, is it. yeah. yeah. oh wow i've. turn that wrath on players of a new set game earlier this week game , reviewers shelby and matt game, reviewers shelby and matt founders the popular youtube channel girlfriend reviews announced that they would be sharing game and playing the game on a livestream the game and a lot fans come on begged them to not do it kicked off and it made them cry basically this is this is a hysteria yeah people going crazy about computer game they've even got a list. they've got a website called have they streamed that wizard where wizard game. com where transgressors who play the game they get listed and these people are out of their if you go on

tik tok and have a little look you just put in a couple of hashtags you can see the it going absolutely it's hilarious. i'm sorry it is so funny. there are people screaming and shouting about this . how is well shouting about this. how is well out of order that anyone would be interested in it because it's anti—trans it's one of the biggest selling games that's ever been and of course it's not anti—trans and neither is its creator , j.k. rowling, who has creator, j.k. rowling, who has never said anything transphobic. we have to tell you it again and again, seem again, because these idiots seem to . know it's to forget that. i know it's pathetic, but it's basically different leftists different types of leftists arguing over children's content. i a children's i mean, it's only a children's book a children's book now. it's a children's game, but review that is game, but an ign review that is pathetic thing where they review the game and they question whether ethical to, even whether it is ethical to, even play whether it is ethical to, even play it in the review. i know absolutely pathetic. the other play it in the review. i know absannoys pathetic. the other play it in the review. i know absannoys patheti(isthe other play it in the review. i know absannoys patheti(is that ther play it in the review. i know absannoys patheti(is that they bit annoys though is that they somehow still men's fault because they were because because they were talking about your point . talking about your point. rowling or rowling is actually never done anything transphobic. rowling or rowling is actually neiwe done anything transphobic. rowling or rowling is actually neiwe knowanything transphobic. rowling or rowling is actually neiwe know .1ything transphobic. rowling or rowling is actually neiwe know . but ng transphobic. rowling or rowling is actually neiwe know . but then ansphobic. rowling or rowling is actually neiwe know . but then they|obic. rowling or rowling is actually neiwe know . but then they said, as we know. but then they said, well, why are they so obsessed rolling this person rolling up an and this person was well it's was theorising. well it's

because because she because of misogyny because she successful all i was oh successful all i was like oh it's it's like it's misogyny. no it's like isn't it left this isn't is it left this being idiots doing they do but idiots and doing they do but somehow still misogyny and somehow it's still misogyny and yet the of most of their yet the target of most of their ire are left wing feminists with the very, very core . is that the the very, very core. is that the cause? is it? but is it, you know, is that causation is it really. it might be misogynist an outcome of what is it motivated by that? well, what about, say, nick mean i don't know what motivates anyone. what i would say is that is true i would say is that it is true that, you know, i know of that, you know, i know a lot of people who who make the people who are who make the same points rowling points that j.k. rowling online, but than than when but she gets more than than when men do i'll be honest. men do it. i'll be honest. i have seen maybe i mean, there was that thing, you know, there wasn't as anyone expressing the guardian put out, anyone inspires just yes, for guardian put out, anyone insjown just yes, for guardian put out, anyone insjown jones. yes, for guardian put out, anyone insjown jones. yeah. yes, for guardian put out, anyone insjown jones. yeah. from for guardian put out, anyone insjown jones. yeah. from the my own jones. yeah. from the guardian. yeah. very funny. okay going to move to how about going to move on to how about this, positive this, some not so positive scientific advances in the metro. this one, dan this is a neural . oh, if metro. this one, dan this is a neural. oh, if i metro. this one, dan this is a neural . oh, if i got metro. this one, dan this is a neural. oh, if i got this one. yeah, yeah it's number 13 because we're. well, i'll fill you in. so basically elon musk was developing neuralink idea.

he wants to chips in people's to sort of enhance and they call it transhumanism where you sort of effectively become a half human, half robotic way that you can think. i would just say like think. i would just say like think i find this very think for me i find this very disturbing you know i think elon musk loads of great musk has done loads of great stuff in terms of buying twitter and twitter, would and healing twitter, i would say. it to this, nick, say. but when it to this, nick, what think? should we be what do you think? should we be enhanced beings? yeah enhanced in human beings? yeah way. well, i'm not i mean that's question. i mean, it can help if you're like you're blind and things like that. so obviously if you don't have but then have the chance but then obviously bizarre obviously as bizarre implications was about implications and this was about the monkey brains the germs from monkey brains because they're transporting brains as you do and there's dangers that they can have various viruses that antibiotic resistance why are they using monkey monkey brains in the first well because he needs them for the new it better than using human andrew which is the other option. oh okay. michael, option. oh okay. but michael, i didn't realise it was an either or. my question is are they really about the really is it really about the monkey is monkey brains or is this a politically motivated attack on elon twitter?

elon because of twitter? no i think he's making mistake think he's making a mistake with the who knows? the neuralink anyway. who knows? we're to move on to we're going to move on to saturday nick, saturday telegraph now. nick, are a cockatoo? oh, are you a fan of a cockatoo? oh, yes they're very intelligent creatures, which is what we're about to learn here. so cockatoos prove they're smart as chimps when it comes to using kids, which is impressive. so they've up an experiment with as a cashew nut, but you have to use two different tools and you can whether them can choose whether to bring them both time. or you come both at one time. or you come back, you use one, then you use the other and the cockatoos all have different techniques. some of carried the of them carried both tools the whole of them made whole time, some of them made one a second. one journey, then a second. and it incredibly it turns out they're incredibly smart and it says here that they are doing it. oh, wow, look at that. are doing it. oh, wow, look at that . yes, they had one tool that. yes, they had one tool that. yes, they had one tool that opens it and then second that. yes, they had one tool thattool�*ns it and then second that. yes, they had one tool that tool to it and then second that. yes, they had one tool thattool to punch then second that. yes, they had one tool that tool to punch th

they all they there they can all they can talk there was a clue there, but they can't talk . they just make a sound. talk. they just make a sound. they mimic sounds. they mimic the sounds. don't know. we've underestimated parrots i've always underestimated parrots down. this problem. do you this is my problem. do you underestimate never underestimate you never underestimate you never underestimate a cockatoo. now, that's a great fun story. see, i like something nice and positive. also a dog that could get a ball out of a pond using a net the other day. so really my contribution to this story, i didn't it i don't like these animals human skills because i've always had them we just underestimate i've seen planet of the apes and i know where it leads. yes. and i'm not happy about it. it'll be the cockatoos anyway. for this part anyway. that's it for this part . genuinely. just . part three, genuinely. just fill a degree fill me with a degree of trepidation because done trepidation because we have done discussing vaginal gummies. nick is going to be discussing self—tests and no doubt i will be on the phone to ofcom straight after the show. wish me luck .

well welcome back to headline is with me andrew doyle . this is with me andrew doyle. this is your first look at saturday's newspapers , right. brace newspapers, right. brace yourself because we're looking at saturday's mail and vaginal at saturday's mail and a vaginal wellness, down a fan. why wellness, gummy down a fan. why why would you give me this story? first of all, why would you think why would this one you trying to get me from off ? all trying to get me from off? all right. go to a doctor , not a right. go to a doctor, not a reality star expert. slam kourtney kardashian , ineffective kourtney kardashian, ineffective vaginal wellness gummies, which to support freshness and banish bad gynaecologists have slammed kourtney's new vaginal wellness gummies, saying there's no evidence that they're going to work. go a doctor, go and see a professional there's been a backlash . there's the probiotics backlash. there's the probiotics and they're to change the levels. but it's not proven. experts are not impressing. i

think i'll that whole thing perfectly well you did this you know it's i'm going to probe you on it yeah go a bit more i'm not ready i'm not you know weirdly enough done lot of enough i've done a lot of research into vaginas myself personally, so. okay, so you know well. mean , know them pretty well. i mean, so really understand . so i don't really understand. but what i will say is the moral of seems sound, which of this story seems sound, which is you've got health is that if you've got health issue. yeah, why are you listening a kardashian. listening to a kardashian. i haven't research haven't really done the research on where did i put on this, but where did i put the gummies? it in you eat them. gummies? is it in you eat them. all right. okay sorry, i did it. yeah, yeah, yeah . that's what yeah, yeah, yeah. that's what i'm saying. there's proof i'm saying. there's no proof that can get to the requisite that it can get to the requisite parts. right. okay. problems yeah. yeah. would you take advice a kardashian advice from a kardashian on a health issue? but what health issue? no, but what i love is that? it's been called patriarchy in a pot. that sounds brilliant. know, brilliant. i just, you know, portable isn't portable oppression isn't what the a way. is the empire was, in a way. why is this patriarchy? it's this patriarchy? oh, and it's always . me explain. so what always. let me explain. so what they're saying here is misogynistic and anti feminist. to suggest that vaginas are somehow because somehow or unhygienic because they're smell does not they're natural smell does not fit in with ideal provided fit in with the ideal provided by so you

by mainstream media. and so you know if a man was was the it would just be call him a pig but this is actually patriarchy and it's a brilliant bit hear from dr. mitra calls dr. anita mitra that calls itself guy gyno geek like itself the guy gyno geek like gynaecologist anyone who tells you that you need to change the taste your vulva taste or smell of your vulva vagina is with the vagina is working with the patriarchy . that's a quote. but patriarchy. that's a quote. but i mean , for goodness sake. but i mean, for goodness sake. but this this is a this is a woman. this is a i presume kourtney kardashian is a woman. yes. okay. i don't know who are, but i like who these people are, but i like that. me suggests that. and that to me suggests that. and that to me suggests that not a pagan. no. that this not a pagan. no. because into oh, because she's she's into it. oh, internalised misogyny. now internalised misogyny. and now you internalise gummy you can internalise this gummy thing, ? internalise thing, right? internalise gummies. okay, let's move gummies. okay, great. let's move on. move on quickly enough . far on. move on quickly enough. far as i'm concerned, this is as i'm concerned, this one is from the mail. about from the daily mail. it's about individuals diagnosing all of mental issues. can you empathise, nick? yeah, well, this is this is fears that teenagers are self diagnosing and adhd using tock and they go and adhd using tock and they go and they think they have adhd. yes. because you just watch 80,032nd videos in a row like of course, you think you've got adhd. that's what tick tock is

you're describing. tick tock. but , a serious but of course, a serious element, the kids are saying they've got autism adhd and they've got autism and adhd and they've got autism and adhd and they it. i mean, they actually have it. i mean, autism obviously i'm autism is obviously real. i'm not sure adhd is . i not quite sure why adhd is. i get for that. but get in trouble for that. but yes. go because of nhs yes. and they go because of nhs waiting lists as well. they're going on social and the deciding. go on tick deciding. i know i'll go on tick to find out if i've got a mental disorder which is good disorder which is never good idea. done. idea. so it really isn't done. what think this? well, what do you think of this? well, i've actually got adhd, so me him to off in him are going to kick off in a bit. i'm i recently got bit. now i'm i recently got diagnosed with adhd and funnily enough, know i actually enough, you know i actually related to content that i saw online. i'm not i'm not even joking about how about how i thought about how my thoughts can become overwhelming . i can't can become overwhelming. i can't concentrate on certain things and focus, focus and that my focus, my focus doing certain tasks is, is diverted to other things, like in a dramatic way and through some of the content i saw in that to get a diagnosis that i went to get a diagnosis and. turns out that i'm an and. it turns out that i'm an absolute so you think it is absolute. so you think it is definitely. all i meant was sometimes kids there in school schools boring and schools are really boring and then get told, oh, got

then they get told, oh, you got adhd, or whatever adhd, you have some or whatever they to. like, they used to. and it's like, well, what is just well, no, what if school is just bonng? well, no, what if school is just boring? they're a child, boring? they're just a child, you know be different in you know, may be different in your difficult. your case. it's very difficult. is difficult because you have to have visible inside have quite visible inside yourself. you have to really feel it to believe it. i guess. but yeah, i mean sometimes kids it's a lot of they say if you're not interested in something it's very hard to focus which is just the way anyway. that's why i mean, face to face, you tend to not case that there is not be the case that there is such a thing. but it's just that we over diagnostic we have a over diagnostic culture. people are culture. too many people are caught within the trend. it could considered a trend. could be considered a trend. well, yeah, we're well, okay. right. yeah, we're going to the going to move on that to the daily big valentine's daily star. big valentine's plans works, the plans in the works, the waterworks. this. yeah waterworks. i love this. yeah brits make confessions as searches for self test kits saw before valentine's data collected by superdrug online doctor shows that seti home tests. you can get home tests now you can it online, you can check yourself for many different and probably not all of them but quite a few

different you know sexually transmitted diseases is the idea that you assume you're going to have a sexual what it is, is know what it is when valentine's comes. that means you're going to go out with your wife or your mrs. and you're probably going to bit of that and a lot to have a bit of that and a lot of the people out there are cheating. so want to double cheating. so i want to double check that. they haven't before they. that's what i'm saying. they. oh that's what i'm saying. so don't have no research so i don't have to no research into myself because your into that myself because your wife's yes so this is wife's watching. yes so this is about infidelity ? i think so, about infidelity? i think so, yeah. maybe i don't i'm this story i've just i've just written another side effect of i think i'm descending into self—parody . what isn't a side self—parody. what isn't a side effect of liberalism i just find the culture so degenerate that it gets the answer out there, which is like googling, you know, you know what? well, know, like, you know what? well, let's miscue it is what it's let's miscue it is what it's let's keep the valentine theme and move onto india. nick what are they up to. yeah, well this is what i mean you see because in india is people in india india is urging people to sorry and to this that ditch sorry and this valentine's day this western valentine's day and announces and said hog day .

announces and said cow hog day. so when it is because you know there's that cow it there's that mean cow hugging it means says the tin you means what it says the tin you hug it you get cow because india reveres the cow and and reveres the cow and its and its links hinduism and you know links with hinduism and you know they to they've also they want to and they've also said to counteract that said it's to counteract that dazzle of western civilisation , dazzle of western civilisation, which is funny but you know , which is funny but you know, actually not a bad idea because actually not a bad idea because actually suffers actually even west suffers from the of media's the dazzle the dazzle of media's the dazzle of liberalism. i've just struck that. and again, really that. and again, do you really think that hugging the cow think that the hugging the cow would here, though? no would catch on here, though? no wouldn't. but equivalent. wouldn't. but it's equivalent. could it's could because what it is, it's really celebration indian really a celebration of indian sort pastimes versus really a celebration of indian sort kind pastimes versus really a celebration of indian sort kind of, pastimes versus really a celebration of indian sort kind of, you pastimes versus really a celebration of indian sort kind of, you knownes versus really a celebration of indian sort kind of, you know thislersus really a celebration of indian sortkind of, you know this sortis the kind of, you know this sort of quasi western global culture that takes over everything they're saying. let's get back to our traditions. we don't like valentine's day thing. we want to hug cow and i applaud it. well, i think i'll catch on even in india. i mean, how do the cows feel about this? we're talking about actual yeah. talking about actual cows. yeah. okay. at all these. okay. so looking at all these. yeah, no. yeah, definitely think, you if you tried to think, you know, if you tried to do in england, you'd get do that in england, you'd get shot by a farmer, you know? well, exactly . i don't

well, exactly. i don't i wouldn't advise it, but. yeah understand nick's trying understand what nick's trying to say here. you these valentines. it's part of their tradition, isn't it? but wait a minute. valentine's isn't big valentine's day isn't this big degenerate that you're describing. people describing. it's where people go out romantic. you sure? out for romantic. are you sure? look the previous story sdi look at the previous story sdi to googling. can i do to everyone's googling. can i do a selfie. do you have a date for valentine's, nick? well, obviously based on eyesight, valentine's, nick? well, obvihere's based on eyesight, valentine's, nick? well, obvihere's the based on eyesight, valentine's, nick? well, obvihere's the point.on eyesight, valentine's, nick? well, obvihere's the point. hiseyesight, valentine's, nick? well, obvihere's the point. his point1t, but here's the point. his point i could i'm too busy with i could have i'm too busy with workaholic. here's point workaholic. here's the point andrew you've got sdi tech people checking for sdi versus , people checking for sdi versus, hugging a cow and these stores are in place to back for a reason, which is which way you can get and how. depends where you hug the cow. yeah. which coach you rather have a healthy cow culture or a sort culture? just living with sdi . i think just living with sdi. i think you're afraid of sex. nah, i'm just afraid that i just. i'm just afraid that i just. i'm just comparing the two. i'm saying, which is better. okay, well, nick will be out on valentine's day hugging livestock . oh, well, i'll be livestock. oh, well, i'll be there. and then, you know you'll be doing and is the well this is what's this one about

mcdonald's. oh this this is this is my favourite of the whole of the holiday. this this is brilliant. i love this one. i'm obviously i shouldn't love it because it's just terrible. but this my kind of humour mcdonald's for tasteless advert right by a crematorium . right by a crematorium. mcdonald's has said it will remove the advertisement which residents say will upset grieving families . have a look grieving families. have a look at it. i love that that they put that sign there to next crematorium crispy for their burger now very incensed but did they know what they would do in order now i'm saying is if i was put in a in there and i saw that i'll go bournemouth crispy and have a laugh, i think is funny but can't deliberate kind but it can't be deliberate kind of it's of product placement. it's guerilla marketing, like guerilla marketing, it's like what's like this term? it's what's it like this term? it's like of edgy kind like a kind of edgy kind of marketing, you marketing, like, you know, i think well, mark, i think they didn't think it through . you didn't think it through. you know, as well might be know, i might as well might be you the crematorium, you come out the crematorium, it's when you it's like, you know when you smell get smell burnt toast and you get hungry, the hungry, come out the crematorium, your mother that said, funerals, they crematorium, your mother that sai have funerals, they crematorium, your mother that sai have a funerals, they crematorium, your mother that sai have a of funerals, they crematorium, your mother that sai have a of humourals, they crematorium, your mother that sai have a of humour aboutay crematorium, your mother that sai have a of humour about it. do have a of humour about it. you've have you've got to you've got to have you've got to we're talking about it now and

accidentally promoting mcdonald's dan saying he'd get one off. yeah one so it has paid off. yeah yeah would i would. you would yeah i would i would. you would do that. okay. oh the do that. yeah okay. oh the burgers available i'm burgers are available now. i'm just bit. you're just doing the ofcom bit. you're doing yeah yeah. doing balance. yeah. yeah yeah. burger there probably burger king's out there probably . funny story, . still a very funny story, people complain, enlighten up. it's not that big deal. it really isn't that a deal . really isn't that big a deal. know there's room for humour in all life including all moments of life including the that all the end of anyway that is all for tonight's show. before we go though let's take another quick look pages . look at saturday's front pages. so the daily are running so the daily mail are running with more on the nicola bailey disappearance. convinced my nicola's not in the river that's her partner's supposition there. and telegraph goes with the and the telegraph goes with the same story. i'm 100% convinced nicola isn't in the river. very sad story that won the guardian is tories plot is running with tories plot childcare giveaway in budget and the times has got learn works girls all face benefits cuts, jobless toll and the daily star has the sun is falling to bits so a nice cheery one to end on. thatis so a nice cheery one to end on. that is all for tonight's show.

thanks much to dan o'reilly and nick headlines. we're back tomorrow at 11. and remember, if you're watching the am, you're watching the 5 am, repeat . do stay tuned because repeat. do stay tuned because it's the breakfast show just after the .

0h oh good evening. it's 7:00. and i'm laurence fox . tonight i will i'm laurence fox. tonight i will be addressing the elephant in the newsroom the shadow that has been cast upon the station the past week. yes, ofcom , the ones past week. yes, ofcom, the ones who only allow you to broadcast if you follow their rules. i want to ask a simple question. why do need it? then i will be talking to charlie peaches about

a gb news exclusive documentary speaking to victims and whistleblowers , grooming gangs. whistleblowers, grooming gangs. and lastly , i am dishing out my and lastly, i am dishing out my thoughts to sunderland about lgbt element rape issue pride and marches. and don't forget , and marches. and don't forget, most importantly, i would like to hear from you. so send me your views at gbviews@gbnews.uk uk. that's all coming up after headunes uk. that's all coming up after headlines with stephanie elsey . headlines with stephanie elsey. good evening, i'm bethany elsey with your top stories from the gb newsroom. more than 22,000 people have been killed and 5 million displaced after major earthquakes in southern turkey and northern syria on monday . and northern syria on monday. several children have been rescued from the rubble. today include ing a ten day old baby and his mother. he survived four days in a collapsed building. an appeal by the uk disasters emergency committee has raised more than

emergency committee has raised more tha n £30 million in