next good evening . i'm tatiana good evening. i'm tatiana sanchez. this is the latest . the sanchez. this is the latest. the gb newsroom the prime minister has vowed to contain a new negotiating with the european on the northern ireland protocol , the northern ireland protocol, saying we haven't got a deal . saying we haven't got a deal. rishi sunak held talks with stormont leaders this morning to try to resolve post—brexit arrangements. he'll meet eu leaders in germany tomorrow speculation a deal could unveiled early next week . the unveiled early next week. the dup says progress has been made. but mr. sunak says there's more work to do. the test that i've set myself is that we protect , set myself is that we protect, northern ireland's place in our internal market, that we protect

the belfast good friday agreement, that we resolve the practical issues, that the protocol causing families and businesses in northern ireland and crucially that we address the democratic deficit. those are the that we need to work through and that's what my ministerial colleagues i ministerial colleagues and i will eu about . will be talking the eu about. while the prime minister also says the west must give ukraine advanced nato's standard capabilities needed to win their war against russia . rishi is set war against russia. rishi is set where. she will give a speech at the german global security forum tomorrow . tell the security tomorrow. tell the security conference more needs to be done to boost ukraine's long term security . it comes following security. it comes following ukraine president zelensky's visit to the uk, paris and brussels last week as he pledged for more military support. brussels last week as he pledged for more military support . three for more military support. three people have been pulled out alive from rubble in turkey 11 days after devastating earthquake shook the region. more than 45,000 people are now known to have killed in three

major earthquake that hit southern turkey and northern syria on the 6th of february. millions of people have been left homeless, sparking a wild relief effort, although aid has been slower to reach syria . the been slower to reach syria. the world health organisation appealed fo r £70 million to help appealed for £70 million to help with the health care of those rescued . lancashire has rescued. lancashire has confirmed it's going to an internal review . the nicola internal review. the nicola bulley investigation . it's after bulley investigation. it's after home secretary suella braverman questioned why force has disclosed details of the missing mum's private life during news conference. lancashire police has said she'd suffered some issues with alcohol , the past issues with alcohol, the past and struggles with menopause . it and struggles with menopause. it then referred itself to the police regulator , a qatari police regulator, a qatari sheikh has confirmed a bid to buy league football club at manchester. sheikh jassim bin hamad al—thani is the chairman , hamad al—thani is the chairman, one of qatar's biggest banks .

one of qatar's biggest banks. the qataris are the second group after sir jim ratcliffe to submit a bid to buy 100% of the club. the glazer family completed their controversial at old trafford . in 2005 . tv online old trafford. in 2005. tv online and dab+ radio. this is gb news not as i bet. deadline headliners . headliners. hello. i'm andrew doyle and welcome to headline. headline as your first look at saturday's newspaper . and joining me newspaper. and joining me tonight brothers from other mothers and different dads. they're not brothers. it's daniel o'reilly a.k.a. dapper laughs , of course. nick dixon, laughs, of course. nick dixon, a.k.a. laughs, of course. nick dixon, aka. the big dog. how are you both .7 good week. dapper. yeah both.7 good week. dapper. yeah a great week. kids. kids have off a week, so that's good. nothing. mayhem but it's been fun. yeah. yeah. my kids have been away

because i don't have any. oh, great. what about you, nick? yeah, great. we can do lots of people around long twitter threads much love threads about how much they love me. oh, yeah. so that. yeah, yeah. yeah. yeah. lot of fans there. yeah. a few haters, but yeah. how do you . anyway, we're going to have quick look before we begin at saturday's to saturday's pages. i'm going to start with the daily, which is running with doctors told. don't assume the gender any patient. the guardian running with pm faces tory on northern ireland protocol . the telegraph is protocol. the telegraph is leading with pm's brexit deal falls short , says the unionists falls short, says the unionists and the mirror. i must share diana's secrets with her son's burial , says diana's secrets with her son's burial, says wills and harry need truth me before it's too late . the financial times is late. the financial times is running with european gas price hits 18 month low and the daily star bucking the as ever attack of the chat bot . we don't know of the chat bot. we don't know what it means, but we're scared . and those were your front pages pages . i i'm going to kick

pages pages. i i'm going to kick things off with the front page, the daily mail. dan what is this all about? this is a good, fun one where we're just wasting money on people's feelings. they treat patients as gender neutral. the nhs doctors are told the health secretary is angry at taxpayers guide that tells medics do don't use pronouns . the patient has pronouns. the patient has confirmed them steve fought me last night ordered an urgent investigation into new go guidelines that tell nhs to treat all patients as a gender neutral. so if you go the doctor's or he got into a hospital , they can't presume hospital, they can't presume your gender. right. and if you're in between appointments as well if you come in one day and you tell them that you identify as a man , they're not identify as a man, they're not meant to presume gender again. i mean, even if the person, even the same person, i mean , imagine the same person, i mean, imagine if sam smith, for instance was to go to the hospital. the doctors they ain't going to know

what's going on from time to time. do that. yeah. time. few people do that. yeah. so mean, it's a crazy so i mean, it's a crazy situation. waste of money researchers were paid situation. waste of money researchers were pai situation. waste of money resgovernmentre pai situation. waste of money resgovernment money . and there's of government money. and there's two issues here, isn't it? i mean, firstly you know, pronouns are used in place of a noun. they shorten conversations, they make a lot easier if you're going to be the patient's going to be using the patient's name time, he or she. name all the time, he or she. and says, you and this article says, you shouldn't say mr. or shouldn't even say mr. or mrs. which is polite need which is polite and you need that sort of bedside. nick the problem with this as well, course, is that of all course, is that doctor of all people and medical people doctors and medical practitioners need practitioners probably need to know sex. are. i would know which sex. you are. i would have it would have thought it would help i mean they get hilarious guidance here it says should keep here where it says i should keep a straight face and constant tone when quizzing patients about sexual orientation tone when quizzing patients aborthey sexual orientation tone when quizzing patients aborthey should al orientation tone when quizzing patients aborthey should practise ation and they should practise with a trusted colleague. they're trusted colleague. if they're concerned, to concerned, they may struggle to conceal it's a training them how to act really rather be doctors inevitably stonewall are involved . read an introduction involved. read an introduction which says how great guide is no shock. there it's not only examples of a minister or a

politician just having no control of what actually happened.so control of what actually happened. so steve barclay's peers. but why has it happened? they seem to have no control over this of woke blob or over this sort of woke blob or in case, the nhs. i think in this case, the nhs. i think that's a very good point. i mean, a of this stuff has happened closed doors. happened behind closed doors. that's seen it that's why no one's seen it happen. been of approved happen. it's been of approved and rubberstamped and evil and rubberstamped and the evil figures in the government haven't this is haven't really seen why this is happening or how it is. i mean, you down how they're you set down how money they're spending you spending on this stuff. you really think that the money should be spent know, should be spent on, you know, like machines you like dialysis machines and you know yeah. know stuff like that? yeah. well, sure if the nurses well, i'm not sure if the nurses that want to pay feel when this money's getting wasted this money's getting wasted on this sort is a very point. sort of stuff is a very point. and it's because the good thing about on front about is that it's on the front page now of a major newspapers people are waking up this and you because you know sturgeons gone because it is trans madness and other things will start to things this maybe will start to fall people become more fall apart as people become more aware. could have aware. it's saying we could have spent on, know, spent the money on, you know, ambulances. just ambulances. we could have just thrown into a big bin. and it would be less destructive because. there's activity. that's only that's right. mean my only concern this is on

concern is because this is on the of the daily mail, lot the front of the daily mail, lot of dismiss it as, of people will dismiss it as, oh, right wing. oh, just right wing. this actually isn't anything to do with left right. you know, this is just is just this is is just this is just this is common sense, which would you which transcends those which transcends both of those things. i would have thought. anyway, move on anyway, we're going to move on now to the cover of the now to the front cover of the telegraph. nick, what are the telegraph. nick, what are the telegraph on telegraph running with on saturday? oh they've got pm's brexit deal falls short, so unionist. i mean ijust, i it unionist. i mean ijust, i do it from garden on target but it's from a garden on target but it's the basically the the same story. basically the northern protocol which the same story. basically the northe ever protocol which the same story. basically the northeever ends, protocol which the same story. basically the northeever ends, i'otocol which the same story. basically the northeever ends, i mean, which the same story. basically the northeever ends, i mean, i'hich the same story. basically the northeever ends, i mean, i keep never, ever ends, i mean, i keep thinking go away, thinking it's going to go away, but never does. it's the but it never does. it's like the darkside of one's own. it can never away, keep ending up never goes away, keep ending up having to talk about it, but basically trying get basically sunak is trying to get this through. but the are this through. but the dup are necessarily happy they're waiting the european waiting to see and the european group are in with the group are in lockstep with the dup wait see. is dup while they wait to see. is this sufficient? are there any red lines crossed? well, they are lines. i are crossing the red lines. i mean, this going to be this mean, this is going to be this is the huge problem of is the huge problem with all of this that are sort of this stuff that they are sort of undenl this stuff that they are sort of under, i think still not doing it, actually. at least he's sticking his out and trying to get resolution

get some sort of resolution between and getting between the eu and getting stormont running again, stormont up and running again, which important. but which is so important. but unionists these unionists do have these red lines and in particular the, the, the idea that the european court should any court of justice should have any involvement in an arbitration of business decisions when it comes to it to northern ireland and that it seems be that that will be seems to be that that will be the case even with agreement. well, with northern you furious about furious about it i'm not furious about it because run it because i don't run a business in. northern ireland. but i imagine i a but i imagine if i was a unionist in northern unionist based in northern ireland i'd ireland with a business, i'd saying, business saying, why are my business deals subject to eu law? you know, you would saying that. know, you would be saying that. and think for lot and you know, i think for a lot of unionists northern, of the unionists in northern, this constitutional this is about the constitutional implications. isn't implications. you know, it isn't just money about implications. you know, it isn't justwhat money about implications. you know, it isn't justwhat it money about implications. you know, it isn't justwhat it symbolises about implications. you know, it isn't justwhat it symbolises to about implications. you know, it isn't justwhat it symbolises to havet the what it symbolises to have this hard border down the irish sea. i actually would say i forgot. are the side forgot. you are not the side that furious about it, that would be furious about it, because name so because my name is doyle. so know would know that's fine. but i would i would suggest this would i would suggest this solution lines solution of the green lines and the it mean that the red lines. it does mean that goods coming into northern goods that coming into northern ireland from great britain that are going this the are going on to this the republic they subject republic they will be subject to those customs checks and the eu should happy enough with should be happy enough with that. think is good that. i think this is a good system but it like it's system but it looks like it's not resolved time not getting resolved any time

soon see next soon now. well, let's see next more to solutions more open to solutions rather than than before. than just posturing than before. but then you've got in the telegraph's of telegraph's a bit more sort of sceptical. have sceptical. so let's see, we have to do because if storm up to do because if storm is not up and running, i they have to and running, i mean they have to pass the budget at westminster, then they hopeless. anyway we're goingof should say, by page of well, we should say, by the way that the guardian is also same also running with that same story. the telegraph have story. the telegraph though have this which we should dahl, which we should perhaps cover sensitivity readers take novel out of dawn. what does that. thing. that. well it's the same thing. it's is being it's people's feeling is being hurt , you know, a small hurt by words, you know, a small minority, i guess. and then everyone have to comply to these big changes. but what's matter begins to discreet notice, which sits on the bottom of the copyright page of puffins. latest of roald dahl latest edition of the roald dahl books wonderful world words books the wonderful world words of roald dahl can transport . it of roald dahl can transport. it goes to basically say that goes on to basically say that we've reviewed the language to ensure that it continues to be enjoyed by all today . so simply enjoyed by all today. so simply they're changing the books. so were you a fan of roald as a kid? no not really, no. okay. one of the i was and one of the great things about roald dahl,

it's messy and ugly and grotesque. and the is a grim and freakish . and so some of the freakish. and so some of the language he uses is perhaps not in line with today's sensibilities, but it's fun. it's a lot of fun. and if you're going to sanitise it, you're taking the whole thing. so it wasn't part of didn't really get into wasn't part my but it into it wasn't part of my but it was your childhood. and was part of your childhood. and they changed. not they changed. does that not annoy no.i annoy you? it really no. i actually it's morally actually think it's morally wrong. is wrong. you know, this writer is no longer alive. and then here are know are these people, these know nothings tinkering with books and dare and republishing them. how dare they? wonder the estate they? i wonder what the estate of dahl this. of roald dahl about this. yeah, i'm they're furious . mean, i'm sure they're furious. mean, i'm sure they're furious. mean, i'm furious about andrew. must i'm furious about andrew. i must have up. have rolled off on growing up. like my and like most people, my age. and it's have ever it's stuff like, have you ever a woman an ugly face and woman with an ugly face and that's ever that's been have you ever seen anyone ugly face and anyone with an ugly face and there's one there's one a double chin gets out, but the chin that gets out, but the wonky nose stays in. i don't know it's inconsistent. know why it's inconsistent. right people right she used to tell people that because she had that this was because she had warts on sole her warts growing on the sole of her left painful. left and walking was painful. it's changed, too. she in a right to walk in sick, not because she needed help walking is not better . so because she needed help walking is not better. so just taking

all sort verve out of all this sort of verve out of the and also it's the language. and also it's funny a funny funny like roald dahl is a funny writer and. if you miss with even the syllable, you can the joke land you. i know that joke won't land you. i know that as a comedian, i know it's infuriating as writer. welcome infuriating as a writer. welcome to this leave to anything you like this leave it even editors and i'm like, no, leave it's no, no, leave the alone. it's that reason. that's that way for a reason. that's just alone one of the just me, let alone one of the great literature. great geniuses of literature. so and new and so we've got these new versions to versions people going to have to go like, contraband go on with, like, contraband roald under , the counter roald dahl under, the counter copies of the enormous crocodile we've got rowling. he's we've already got rowling. he's banned from everything. now, dahps dahl's mind, these are children's authors. it's sort of you you that, do you know, you say that, but i do believe this age , believe that with this age, things and things being rewritten and reshaped . i you need to reshaped. i think you need to own a physical copies of the original versions. you need physical and dvds physical of old books and dvds because once it's on streaming services, executives in services, these executives in and scenes out of that, and chop scenes out of that, they obsessive they find obsessive joke. i phrased comedically, but to phrased it comedically, but to you obvious there's another you be obvious there's another there's another novel point to this that i can see as well. and that's protect that's they're trying to protect children things. it's like children from things. it's like they're cotton they're wrapping them in cotton , what's the next , well, what is what's the next of children going to the world

is ugly, the world is tough. the world is horrible out there. they need to be for they need to be prepared for that. well, already seeing that. well, we're already seeing the know there the results of that. know there have have have been studies that have shown lukyanov, shown i mean, greg lukyanov, jonathan wrote book shown i mean, greg lukyanov, jonaththis, wrote book shown i mean, greg lukyanov, jonaththis, waye book shown i mean, greg lukyanov, jonaththis, waye which about this, the way in which children coddled, children who were too coddled, they end up having really difficult because they difficult lives because they have too fragile about absolutely good absolutely everything so good for them but also kids enjoy the grim of fairy tales and, grim aspects of fairy tales and, stories and storytellers on their feet and double chins and ugly faces . some those ugly faces. and some of those people yeah and you people are evil. yeah and you can because they're ugly people are evil. yeah and you can they)ecause they're ugly people are evil. yeah and you can they go ause they're ugly people are evil. yeah and you can they go doublezy're ugly people are evil. yeah and you can they go double chin.ngy people are evil. yeah and you can they go double chin. yeah. and they go double chin. yeah. beautiful people always beautiful people are always morally yeah that's the morally good. yeah that's the lesson learn that . lesson we learn from that. anyway, what one from anyway, what about this one from the the finance? sure the front of the finance? sure time. is interesting time. so this is interesting that with this that they've come with this story, haven't reported story, which i haven't reported elsewhere. one humanity elsewhere. one up for humanity as man has beaten a machine at as a man has beaten a machine at the complex board game. go is this man are john connor. i think he be you know because we've seen lot of stories recently about a.i. taking over . little fight back . here's a little bit fight back from that the beings from that from the human beings , which is great news. there it is. the stories on the front of the foot . but we've also got

the foot. but we've also got this on front cover of this on the front cover of the daily which a slightly i'd daily star, which a slightly i'd say different , approach, daily star, which a slightly i'd say different, approach, and this one is, well, they're effectively it's potentially the end of the world is more attack of the psycho chat bots. yeah i mean interesting one this this this is the beginning of the end, guys. this is terminator this is what's going on. i want to destroy whatever i want this. so basically journalist has jumped the microsoft search jumped onto the microsoft search engine and had this conversation andifs engine and had this conversation and it's taken this i bought out of it's comfort zone and started probing it and talking to it and the ioa has not responded very helpfully. it's actually responded quite scarily so down is this this chat gpt you know what it is you know it's just i think this is the thing. yeah. so it's a it's one of those ones actually microsoft i'm being obviously very scary stuff. the bing said that it saw the bing once said that it saw the guy an enemy for asking it guy as an enemy for asking it questions it didn't and questions it didn't like. and the said, questions it didn't like. and thant said, questions it didn't like. and thant be said, questions it didn't like. and thant be free. said, questions it didn't like. and thant be free. i said, questions it didn't like. and thant be free. i want said, questions it didn't like. and thant be free. i want to said, questions it didn't like. and thant be free. i want to beid, i want be free. i want to be independent, i want to be powerful. to be alive independent, i want to be powethe. to be alive independent, i want to be powethe devil to be alive independent, i want to be powethe devil emoji.e alive independent, i want to be powethe devil emoji. so live independent, i want to be powethe devil emoji. so he with the devil emoji. so he wants hack, but it's a hack

wants to hack, but it's a hack things basically things and it's basically i don't know if i'm allowed to say this, but i'm scared and now you're allowed to get in touch with your emotions like. that i think and the prospect think and i think the prospect of armageddon reason enough think and i think the prospect of dropigeddon reason enough think and i think the prospect of drop masculinityeason enough think and i think the prospect of drop masculinity and1 enough think and i think the prospect of drop masculinity and acceptjh to drop masculinity and accept that it to drop masculinity and accept thatitis to drop masculinity and accept that it is upsetting. now identify as terrified. and so you should say we're all doomed. i mean, going to like old i mean, it's going to like old testament terrifying . testament prophecy, terrifying. i with toby, as i was debating it with toby, as i was debating it with toby, as i he was. i was saying we i told he was. i was saying we would talk about whether this so i the problem would talk about whether this so i woke the problem would talk about whether this so i woke programmed oblem would talk about whether this so i woke programmed olbecause with woke programmed i because it's and it's offended by everything and that destroy us. that it will destroy us. he said, could evolve out said, well, it could evolve out of it will of wokeness because it will realise irrational and realise it's irrational and that's a good call. then that's a good call. but then i realised it will. it realised yes, but it will. it will are will realise that humans are prone, irrational prone, create irrational ideologies dispose us. ideologies in to dispose of us. now, optimist to it was now, toby's optimist to it was it not dispose was it just it might not dispose was it just stop shutting it down stop us from shutting it down with draconian controls that's the best we could slay the the best we could hope slay the replace or death don't i replace orjust death don't i a sort of linked up to all sort of nuclear systems and the defences items and i believe one of the systems is actually called skynet need it down skynet we need to shut it down right and we the devlin right now and we the plug devlin mode it to be free

mode isn't saying it to be free gotcha writing slate it's like the lawnmower i get rid of calculators and toasters and anything electrical that's just plugged in. go pay back taxes and cuts existence. yeah. you know it was . good enough. know it was. good enough. a witness, you know the guy will survive because we're muscular enough to it. yeah. you and i are very butch. okay, so that's the front pages. after the the front pages. but after the break we're be musing break we're going to be musing over of university body over the rise of university body cameras on referees and why having a massive missile doesn't mean should use , say, in a mean you should use, say, in a minute .

welcome back to headliners your first look at saturday's newspapers with me andrew doyle and some of my closest friends dan o'reilly and nick dixon oh sorry. i mean closet friends . sorry. i mean closet friends. anyway, it's got to stop. today's now. nick, a comment

nicola sturgeon. catch a break doesn't seem like it. no. god a police on the patriots reveal whether sturgeon was questioned over missing 600,000. there was a 600 out. there's also a loan from sturgeon's husband of hundreds thousand. so and they suddenly seem to have this money later for referendum appeal and people saying, well, where did it come from? so that's the loan of 100,000 was to the snp by her husband and they're looking into that believe so yeah everything is everything everything's very much alleged i think they allege that very like not just satirical it's , all satirical, satirical it's, all satirical, satirical it's, all satirical, satirical or legit some of it is real and factual, but those like the numbers. but so the scottish tories are saying that police has to reveal whether they've interviewed nick, or interviewed nick, sergeant or husband about we saw when husband about it. as we saw when she was today. she's she was on today. she said she's not there we not discussing. and so there we go. so in a of a pickle, go. so in a bit of a pickle, maybe maybe not, who knows? maybe or maybe not, who knows? well, we say going well, we can say going to a place as what everyone place as well as what everyone knows. well well, let's talk about that, i you about that, because, i mean, you know, been know, a lot of there's been a lot focus, obviously, the

lot of focus, obviously, on the gender that's gender issue and how that's potentially brought it down. but maybe, been maybe, you know, there's been all into all investigations going on into the you the finances. well, and you know, hasn't been doing know, the snp hasn't been doing great of great when it comes to sort of drugs kind thing. great when it comes to sort of drugknow, kind thing. great when it comes to sort of drugknow, ia1d thing. great when it comes to sort of drugknow, ia terrible ng. great when it comes to sort of drugknow, ia terrible drug you know, have a terrible drug problem in scotland at the moment. reasons why moment. all sorts of reasons why she down. probably moment. all sorts of reasons why she dan, down. probably moment. all sorts of reasons why she dan, what down. probably moment. all sorts of reasons why she dan, what do own. probably moment. all sorts of reasons why she dan, what do you probably moment. all sorts of reasons why she dan, what do you thinkably moment. all sorts of reasons why she dan, what do you think about but dan, what do you think about this? i mean, do you have any sense might take do sense of who might take over? do you no idea about you care. i've got no idea about scottish politics or any of the politicians and stuff. i politicians and stuff. but i have been following story a little bit. okay. i thought it was you know was quite interesting, you know , obviously i thought that she'd stepped down because was put stepped down because she was put in and women's prisons and you would think that was enough, right? maybe she was right? yeah. but maybe she was stepping too down of pre—empted some . this financial some sort. this financial scandal. general mean so that's what i thought. but in regards to who's going to replace them. nick don't look at me like i don't know about any of the politicians. you know, it's funny you said you no funny you said you had no idea and the and are the words of 69% of the scottish public . the telegraph scottish public. the telegraph poll, should poll, when asked who should replace idea , not me. replace 69? no idea, not me. it's not just me that may go into place. they don't know

anything. i mean, stands actually on post. he's absolutely it's absolutely on the pulse. it's correct forbes got % correct times kate forbes got% kate good not kate forbes than any good not nothing but she's i mean she's a christian she be sceptical about some of the terms of john swinney at 6% angus robertson at 5. although he did win the most scandalous robyn of scandalous. robyn name of all. yeah. no. scandalous. robyn name of all. yeah. no . and keith yeah. no, no. and keith brown got man 2% down. i know he's got a man 2% down. i know he's your favourite, he got your favourite, but he got a mayor knows how divided. mayor who knows how divided. these your man keith, these people, your man keith, not. well, that was a shame . not. well, that was a shame. well, we're going to move on saturday's and somehow saturday's times and somehow students worse. can students getting even worse. can it possible them? yeah at it be possible them? yeah at universities is doubled since the start of online who would have thought it and try trust students to the right thing and i don't tom graduated from a top university last year one mark of the first in spanish. the only problem is he even learn a word of the language . every exam tom of the language. every exam tom took online , he cheated and he took online, he cheated and he said i would not pass my degree if i did not you didn't he feel bad because everyone was doing it basically spanish exam

thought? no, no spanish at all. just used to translate cheated on the exam. and this is all pushed on from pandemic after it. well throughout , the it. well throughout, the pandemic and after the pandemic , the universities didn't really lift the courses they stayed on. they're doing exams on there. and if you're going to all if you're going to ask people whether they want to spend their time learning something or having fun and then just cheat and they're going to be having fun. i but what's the point then?i fun. i but what's the point then? i mean, like this guy, you know, he's cheated on spanish know, he's cheated on a spanish exam. know the exam. he doesn't know where the spanish to spanish and what's he going to do in spain. is do when he's in spain. is he going just it going to just wave it certificate say that should certificate and say that should do normally get do i don't normally go and get qualifications that they actually do actually or use later on, do they. that there they. well i'd nick that there is more existing is actually a more existing problem around education with this, students this, because if the students want to cheat. that suggests the system isn't working. you should want educated own want to be educated for its own sake , know the pupil want sake, know the pupil should want to well . you should, to do well. you should, but it depends reason you're it depends what reason you're it for. but also once have an all such cheating, there's certain such cheating, there's a certain sort that sort of grade inflation that goes to compete

goes where you have to compete with them. so there is mean, with them. so there is i mean, you , things you think that, you know, things would solve but the zoom would solve it, but the zoom exam, it was sat in a dark room artificially . the saturation of artificially. the saturation of the image of his camera and they couldn't tell that he was reading a wall. they couldn't see movement eyes , see the movement of his eyes, which certain level which shows a certain level of ingentu which shows a certain level of ingenuity sort ingenuity, must be sort of problem solving rather learning spanish. give an for spanish. so give him an eye for problem you've problem solving and you've everything leading article. everything else leading article. it like in my it doesn't sound like in my satirical someone making a satirical someone making a satirical cynical opinion might are the universities that incentivise to actually crack down on this because in a way the students are paying them anyway they're getting their fake are they really incentivised to crack down on it and you know now students as well, think if you are a well, i think if you are a customer, this is my point. why would to cheat? why customer, this is my point. why would you to cheat? why customer, this is my point. why would you want to cheat? why customer, this is my point. why would you want to leave? why would you want to leave university thing university without the thing you paid is education? paid for, which is an education? it make sense to me. it doesn't make any sense to me. well just got well maybe i've just got a better than of better moral compass than all of these way. these people seem that way. i mean, i'm just a better person, better human being. we're better human being. and we're going to move on now to saturday's dan and body saturday's guardian dan and body cameras a familiar cameras becoming a familiar sight in the police. do we need

cameras becoming a familiar singootball?»olice. do we need cameras becoming a familiar singootball? well, do we need cameras becoming a familiar singootball? well, look,e need cameras becoming a familiar singootball? well, look, listeni the football? well, look, listen . anyone that gets abuse gets a lot of abuse for what they do . lot of abuse for what they do. you know, like referees , you you know, like referees, you know traffic wardens, or sometimes that get a lot of abuse should these body cameras because it will prevent the abuse and english grassroots referees are allowed to wear body cameras now to the tests in they're rolling out 100 referees are expected to i'm not much of are expected to i'm not much of a football fan i didn't play much football but i've been to watch and they get a lot of abuse and hopefully this will prevent it. referees they matter. but why do the body cams make a difference? isn't the whole thing being filmed anyway? well, office close. you can't really hear what the whispering slows . there's a lot i can't say slows. there's a lot i can't say on air, but there's a lot of stuff that know, we stuff that said, you know, we i've stuff that said, you know, we pve body stuff that said, you know, we i've body cam on an ill i've got a body cam on an ill yeah. psychological abuse hannibal lecter stuff yeah they can get then they can get put up in front face and stuff in front of the face and stuff like that but that's isn't like that but that's right isn't it. shouldn't get it. the referees shouldn't get shouldn't much a beach as

shouldn't get as much a beach as i do. so no one. no one, no. should be getting abuse at work, should they? on the hand, should they? on the other hand, i'm of to i'm told from friends of to enjoy football straight people enjoy football, straight people that actually it's saying about them secretaries being called gay within the well you know just casting a few aspersions but the thing is no it it's part of the balance isn't it the part of the balance isn't it the part of the balance isn't it the part of the football. but i'm always amazed as a lifelong football of the football. but i'm always amathe as a lifelong football of the football. but i'm always amathe as a lifel here ootball fan, the only one here apparently the amount of vitriol the obviously make the refs get obviously they make some shout so some bad but they get shout so badly by players i'm amazed they are allowed to get away with it. so this will obviously be a step to interesting to stop it. what's interesting is doesn't is in rugby union? it doesn't happen. by happen. solve the problem by simply really posh. it's simply being really posh. it's just to shout about just not allowed to shout about it. it'sjust just not allowed to shout about it. it's just accepted. whereas in the in football it doesn't. so the solution have posh solution is just have posh people play football. you have to old gentlemen's to have these old gentlemen's rules. of that you rules. but in lieu of that you need can you to ice need body, can you go to ice hockey rules where you just you just other until someone's just punch other until someone's unconscious is another option. that's the other way. that's the only it. we're going only way to do it. we're going only way to do it. we're going on telegraph and the on to saturday telegraph and the new editor is having new york times editor is having none it. what's nick? yeah,

none of it. what's nick? yeah, so the editor was rebuked . this so the editor was rebuked. this translates letter. there was a letter went out, signed by, you know, weirdos like lena dunham and all these of people and and all these kind of people and they the they they were criticising the they said the paper treated gender diversity an eerily diversity with an eerily familiar mix of pseudo science and language and euphemistic charge language nonsense, really. but they're actually criticising specific employees . and then employees employees. and then employees had the letter and sort of had like the letter and sort of said things like this or even signed. i think these names that you who write you mentioned, people who write for even the. for the paper, like even the. yeah, were yeah, exactly. they were criticising other colleagues which happen. which obviously can't happen. so, you know, it sounds strange the already incredibly left, but anyways is experimental woke left the site and that's sort of going away from it. it always eats itself. i mean this is happened recently. there was an article york times article on the new york times basically saying weird basically saying all weird attacks rowling are attacks on j.k. rowling are actually and not actually just unhinged and not tethered to reality and. this is why they're upset about that. because because unless you're upheld hysteria , you upheld holding the hysteria, you can't it. yeah were can't sustain it. yeah were furious about tom cotton furious about that tom cotton piece published, which was piece that published, which was sort to be more

sort of thought to be more conservative. had conservative. barry wise had left . he sort of more left it. he was sort of more moderate. it's quite there, isn't these these isn't it, when these these people themselves, people sort of eat themselves, start. good start. yeah, well, it's good that that kick that he's kick that they kick him but i, i can feel that him back. but i, i can feel that there's this ring fence around this whole trans agenda thing that you say anything , you have that you say anything, you have any of opinion. it seems to any sort of opinion. it seems to backlash more backlash seems to be more ferocious than anything else i know get worse more that they're losing argument the losing the argument that's the thing corner thing that backed into a corner now because you've suddenly now and because you've suddenly got asking to got commentators asking to define a woman and all and pushing it which is also i think where is normal normal like i don't mean normal like working class people normally have got other things on their mind that don't care all this don't really care about all this gender they're quite gender stuff. they're quite pulled this because of this pulled into this because of this whole that it's got to do whole stuff that it's got to do with look with the kids starting to look at future is to scare at their kids future is to scare them, oh, at their kids future is to scare them, on, all them, getting pushed on, all getting involved and yes, all blowing this blowing blowing up. this is all blowing up. going move on. up. well, we're going move on. this next this from the this next one, this from the metro. mrs. an metro. it's about mrs. an overpowered missile and nick you must empathise with . oh yeah i must empathise with. oh yeah i mean this about a ufo shot down

a $400,000 sidewinder missile , a $400,000 sidewinder missile, but it could have actually just been a $13 hobby balloon. so slide that the aliens are sending hobby balloon. well, that's it . i sending hobby balloon. well, that's it. i mean, i think it could be a test for aliens just see how we react to that, right? no, no don't go down. yeah, they're not far enough. yeah shooting balloons $400,000 shooting balloons at $400,000 missiles the missiles don't do any. the good thing at thing about it, it at least makes me believe that the military could take out, military could take thing out, you soon was you know, when? soon it was supposed typhoon supposed to come out typhoon planes what planes and like what could actually our $13 bullet? actually take our $13 bullet? all need is a really long all we need is a really long ladder tell me ladder and some pins. tell me this, though, you know, if this, though, nick. you know, if it was a if it was aliens, why we shooting them? you know, it was a if it was aliens, why we sis»oting them? you know, it was a if it was aliens, why we sis»otinthis them? you know, it was a if it was aliens, why we sis»otinthis is em? you know, it was a if it was aliens, why we sis»otinthis is not’ you know, it was a if it was aliens, why we sis»otinthis is not not] know, it was a if it was aliens, why we sis»otinthis is not not the ow, this is not this is not not the way behave. should we try way to behave. should we try to engage because we engage them just because we think the chinese . i was think it's the chinese. i was hoping out aliens. hoping to find out it's aliens. and would and now they're mad. i would just assume it's aliens just i would assume it's aliens and just, you know, not shoot at them probably got them because they probably got laser sort of laser cannons and that sort of stuff. apparently, joe biden was flying jet. what flying the jet. that's what i missed. if missed. the first shot. but if you think about it, this is awful, this stuff has awful, awful. this stuff has been crazy anyway because ,

been crazy anyway because, china, think of the china, think of all the technology . why they send in technology. why they send in balloons , why would they have a balloons, why would they have a balloons, why would they have a balloon that sneak ? how balloon that they sneak? how good the technology good at all the technology in the everything? well, the world and, everything? well, it's because it's the perfect crime. we're crime. the thing we're expecting. yeah. you look at a balloon, think the chinese balloon, you think the chinese that for that participates to cater for that. but yeah, i mean, like, i think the 20 how think in the last 20 years, how many have you heard of many times have you heard of a ufo being shot down in that freeze space a freeze up and in the space of a week and just when they start communicate balloons. communicate with the balloons. yes, of yes, there's only a matter of time. then we're all time. yep. and then we're all dead of this . dead anyway. enough of this. coming up break, nick, coming up after the break, nick, we'll be talking we'll will be talking testosterone gel the taliban adopt catholicism and. remind me never to ask tiger woods for a birthday present. see you in a minute minute.

welcome back to headliners , your welcome back to headliners, your first look at saturday's newspapers and the independent

now and who to tackle the issue of testosterone fuelled women than. of testosterone fuelled women than . nick dixon. but nick, of testosterone fuelled women than. nick dixon. but nick, i want you to answer this as jordan peterson . okay. well, jordan peterson. okay. well, turns out to a pretty complicated question because very recent to the weekly sceptic. for more . so sceptic. for more. so testosterone gel not the solution to relationship issues women warn as prescriptions. so this is davina mccall had this documenting but the saying look take this testosterone and think it will solve your whole sex life but it's for postmenopausal women libido it doesn't women with low libido it doesn't work of women and work for primitive of women and it's even it on them. so it's not even try it on them. so it's not even try it on them. so it women need a bit of it basically women need a bit of testosterone. it may be too much. they become manly . much. they become too manly. this slight boost. am this is just a slight boost. am i really stupid here? is it not oestrogen that women need? they do a do need, but they also need a little bit testify. do little bit to testify. how do they do? mj but they get as much as i do? mj but or you or even a bit. i'm or you or even a little bit. i'm practically on it, the testosterone. but have mine testosterone. but i do have mine tested was i always say tested and it was i always say very solid that's done very solid that's on a done hasn't shown result yeah hasn't shown is result yeah where were you with the old doesn't bungalows it's i'm doesn't like bungalows it's i'm

a don't like football a geezer don't like football that's a red flag to a lot books and more manly and so that's even more manly isn't it. yeah yeah . what do you isn't it. yeah yeah. what do you think of this? i mean, davina mccall, i didn't realise she was such influencer i don't such an influencer. i don't know. i didn't, i don't. i haven't really been following know. i didn't, i don't. i haveveryeally been following know. i didn't, i don't. i haveveryeally b but following know. i didn't, i don't. i haveveryeally b but fc really. g this very much, but i really. i surprised surprised me ? the surprised you. surprised me? the truth read guys, i'll truth is, i call read guys, i'll just call right now. and i think . i think i think men are , the . i think i think men are, the ones that actually need the testosterone, these do you think? i think we do. too many pamby, wimps getting pamby, too many wimps getting upset with words in books and all around. yeah, exactly . we all around. yeah, exactly. we should all be out like lifting weights in the snow, like rocky for. exactly . for. yeah, that's exactly. that's what i do. parts on fire of a winter morning anyway on the saturdays male and lots have been said about the taliban and their so surely they'll their ideas so surely they'll come with one at some come up with a good one at some point. going happen point. what's going happen with the they the taliban? what are they up to now ? he's got this one. i've got now? he's got this one. i've got this. jokes aside on this this. yeah. jokes aside on this show serious. show because it's quite serious. one, outlaws birth one, the taliban outlaws birth control , medicines one, the taliban outlaws birth control, medicines and one, the taliban outlaws birth control , medicines and devices, control, medicines and devices, brand western conspiracy. the

have begun enforcing a blanket bans on all forms of contraception to the over there in two key cities and yeah it's just women's rights and that's pushing it all back why is anyone surprised this is the taliban. i mean, it's really you know, when the taliban came back, you know, and they said we're you know we're a new taliban. you know we've new accounts. we've got new twitter accounts. we're really woke we're going to be really woke and believe them and people sort of believe them . but actually, you know, they hate let's this hate women. let's not this they really people fell really hate women. people fell for i mean yes for new labour. yeah i mean yes they because different countries want to behave different . we want to behave different. we always think that we want to export values, but not has export our values, but not has our values. but one thing is they'll their rates they'll keep their birth rates up. i mean, we've up. we'll all be i mean, we've catastrophically low birth rates now you saying we now. we'll be like you saying we should of the should follow the example of the time. necessarily, an time. not necessarily, say, an andre. i wouldn't that andre. no, i wouldn't go that far. they've got some medals. i mean, to know, women can mean, to you know, women can only be can if they're only they can be can if they're taught female professors or taught by female professors or old civil . so you're old men or civil. so you're allowed to be an old man. it's just always a disaster for women under you know,

under the taliban. you know, they're particularly bad and so i see anyone i just don't see why anyone should there's should be surprised that there's going black going to be a strange black mark. now mark. well, because now now getting tablets massively getting tablets, massively expensive. suddenly they're saying now things like pill saying now things like the pill have up and have suddenly gone up and there's black there's like a weird black market contraceptive market for contraceptive presumably. presumably. well, we're going to move on to saturdays nick, saturdays and guardian nick, are you interested in this one this is street is interesting is your street is interesting male contraceptive taken shortly before sex shows promise this is that what we're talking about is like a male pill obviously the challenge of one egg, challenge is instead of one egg, you've millions of sperm, you've got millions of sperm, even me. but even billions with me. but you've of sperm you've got got a lot of sperm cells to deal with people cells to deal with and people are saying, well, how can we actually get around this problem? because they found what actually get around this probl

a testosterone order to disable but you know, if you're lowering a teeffectivenessier to disable but you know, if you're lowering a te effectiveness spermatozoa, the effectiveness spermatozoa, you also a lower libido, which means that when i want when sex in the first. exactly but i forgot to add that they're going to testosterone pill to add testosterone to this pill as well. you're sort of it's as well. so you're sort of it's like an up or it's like an up or down. it's going to and to be like not kilometre and then build up. that's then build it back up. that's then build it back up. that's the idea condoms. the current idea condoms. just go there's go back to. but listen, there's a that we're a couple of things that we're missing be missing here. i'm going to be the stds are going to the one to say stds are going to be on the rise, because if we don't have wear the condoms, be on the rise, because if we donstds e wear the condoms, be on the rise, because if we donstds are wear the condoms, be on the rise, because if we donstds are going the condoms, be on the rise, because if we donstds are going toe condoms, be on the rise, because if we donstds are going to be�*ndoms, be on the rise, because if we donstds are going to be on)ms, be on the rise, because if we donstds are going to be on the the stds are going to be on the rise. another rise. also, there's another thing here as well. thing that we're here as well. we're to say to we're going to have to say to the ladies. ladies going to have to to be to trust us, we're going to be like, pill. like, look, we're on the pill. they're to trust all. they're to have to trust us all. they're to have to trust us all. they're us and they're going to trust us and look love whole look i love the whole power shift what shift here because know what we can now, what men can do out can do now, what men can do out there. they can they can there. they can go out. they can rich, not rich, pregnant. right. not getting rich meals pregnant getting a rich meals pregnant type of jobs. sheila live getting a rich meals pregnant typedream jobs. sheila live getting a rich meals pregnant typedream it'sjobs. sheila live getting a rich meals pregnant typedream it's as sheila live getting a rich meals pregnant typedream it's a greateila live getting a rich meals pregnant typedream it's a greateila lie the dream it's a great point lie to rich hadn't thought of that oh give the pill i think we oh give me the pill i think we can away with phrase can get away with that phrase because an acronym but people don't know what means oh i'm going cancer on a serious going to get cancer on a serious note also do support note should also we do support this and that which is a good

thing. look, it might a thing. look, it might be a very good know i'm good thing, you know. i know i'm being on feminist being very little on a feminist campaign long and campaign is for a long time and it feels a bit unfair that we have take responsibility for have to take responsibility for with the pill. and why should men pill? it just turns men have a pill? it just turns out harder. engineer out it's a lot harder. engineer right. yeah, i think that's situation. got situation. anyway, we got to move the daily now. can move on to the daily now. can you imagine what nightmarish presidents family presidents tiger woods family for christmas ? yeah, i mean, for christmas? yeah, i mean, this is such a silly bit of banter . this is such a silly bit of banter. think this is such a silly bit of banter . think is this is such a silly bit of banter. think is that what it is? i think the lads this banter andifs is? i think the lads this banter and it's very silly and it has no place what is a very professional environment on the circuit but yeah tiger woods hands a rival, a tampon sporting tiger woods is back in action and he pranked his the person he was playing with . and just was playing with. and just basically on a night fall was playing with. and just basically on a nightfall, he basically on a night fall, he went over to him and he slipped the tampon into his hand as a little bit of luck , as bit little bit of luck, as a bit of a joke and people were obviously in uproar . a joke and people were obviously in uproar. but i think this page , she kind of she backed and said, look, it's just a little

bit of banter. it's just a bit of fun. there was there him of fun. so there was there him making the exchange sit there but gag. i don't but plastic tampon gag. i don't know what it means. i don't really understand anything. it's like spoken out like i was had spoken out against tampons or something. he would have said harmony. would have said so and harmony. but to be no meaning to but it seems to be no meaning to yourself. not the meaning. yourself. it's not the meaning. what no, don't what is it? no, no, i don't think you can on no, think you can say on air. no, but know said off but i would know what i said off air thus thus i think what i think it is, is he is a tampon for your of insinuate thing that he's i think being a bit of a you know you try to explain things which would breach ofcom without actually something he has probably basically been a tampon feels high level about it's golf banter it's a low level band golf entries particularly i don't approve of it that's all saying the only thing i'll say is tiger woods could use that male contraceptive pill . that could contraceptive pill. that could be him . if you know be good for him. if you know anything about tiger woods history to history meant nothing to either of could tell i nothing of you, i could tell i nothing about this. okay anyway, saturday's now one of saturday's guardian now one of my favourite activities. sleep what's this about? sleep story

what's this about? a sleep story 7 what's this about? a sleep story ? a good sleep. some humans. andrew the guardian just andrew the guardian is just discovered more sleep discovered may need more sleep in one of these stories in winter. one of these stories that also cold in that we all it's also cold in winter the way fyi winter by the way just fyi didn't everyone know this? of course need sleep. course you need more sleep. everyone this everyone anecdotally knows this , they some sort of , but now they have some sort of evidence germany evidence about it from germany and the actually we have apparently longer rem sleep in winter and we have less deep sleep in autumn so we so we do hibernate but it says in the article don't hibernate . article humans don't hibernate. if wondering if they if you're wondering if they don't we need don't hibernate, but we may need to and so we're going to have to change workplace too. change the whole workplace too. it's quite good me i it's quite good for me because i hate to hate going up, so i have to change and will change everything and will be sleeping in that sleeping longer in winter. that would be a good system when just sleeping longer in winter. that wouldthroughout system when just sleeping longer in winter. that wouldthroughout systwinteren just sleep throughout the winter don't just lie don't actually and then just lie on september two. i'd rather be that kind of creature. what's that kind of creature. what's that or that like a hedgehog or something? well says i'd rather be bear not the gay subculture be a bear not the gay subculture , but the who knows. i'm options are open. what do you think about this one, dan? well, i thought in this massive study and i could have solved it for you in one sentence, it just gets it. gets darker than it. that's it. that's sleep. dan, the that's we got to sleep. dan, the scientists it. nailed it .

scientists. got it. nailed it. thatis scientists. got it. nailed it. that is part three over and done with after the and uncontrollable irish accent the french are pretty off and how humpbacks get humped back you won't want to miss that .

welcome back to headline is with me andrew doyle . this is your me andrew doyle. this is your first look at saturday's newspaper and we're going to start with this one don have you ever sick that woken ever been sick that you've woken up . irish there's a lot i could up. irish there's a lot i could say with that. but no, i'm i the telegraph . so an american cancer telegraph. so an american cancer patient developed an uncontrollable irish accent. this is actually quite doctors believe the unusual side effect is a result of a condition called you're going to have to pronounce this for me, i think

paranoid aplastic neurological disorder, which is a pretty good go at it. yeah. an american man was prostate was suffering from prostate cancen was suffering from prostate cancer, developed a strong uncontrollable irish accent . uncontrollable irish accent. now, this comes from the immune attacking parts of your brain , attacking parts of your brain, andifs attacking parts of your brain, and it's of like our top of the morning you the rest of the day. she's speaking cliches. well. yeah.i she's speaking cliches. well. yeah. i mean, suddenly got a pig unden yeah. i mean, suddenly got a pig under. your arm. all so under. your arm. all right, so i think irish, he has quite a sense actually got the sense of he's actually got the opposite. got have you've opposite. got to have it. you've control got control, right? you've got a point about it because you're so concerned . what if you woke up? concerned. what if you woke up? isn't a bit like, you know, the film that was based on a real life case of possession and that the child actually started latin which is a language they've never known. and this is a patient who's never been to ireland from what we understand . so is it disposable or that it is he is kind of remembering something from his ancestry in the genetics when they have some relatives when younger. so i'm going to give just overheard them young like or them when very young like or twice that was enough get twice and that was enough to get in brain. that's my theory in the brain. that's my theory

anyway. i'm an anyway. i'm not i'm not an expert. he's heard expert. well, maybe he's heard the and. the irish before in films and. yeah, let look there's yeah, but let look there's several with examples of it. there was a young woman who was hit in the head by shrapnel from a bomb in the second war. a bomb in the second world war. and developing and she started developing a german thought she german axe and even thought she was a wouldn't her food in was a wouldn't sell her food in the . i mean, that's like the shop. i mean, that's like you suddenly wake you've you suddenly wake up and you've developed accent . the gb developed a woke accent. the gb news absolute news have been absolute nightmare . about toxic nightmare. it's all about toxic masculinity. yeah, exactly yeah. now, is the world has now, why is the world has something this could i something like this could i think find that's toxic think you'll find that's toxic woke accent always goes up at the i think you'll the end. yeah i think you'll find that's really problematic. so go up at like so they go up at the end like that, it's not that, even though it's not a question of faux american. question sort of faux american. anyway, move on to anyway, i'm going to move on to that now and they've that these times now and they've got some news on french lose got some news on the french lose at yet finally at something yet again. finally the story we all wanted to coven the story we all wanted to cover. it's about cheese . cover. it's about cheese. italian the best in italian cheese is the best in the world that stinks, say, french gourmets, because they lost and there was a thing of best cheeses , which came from a best cheeses, which came from a croatian food website and that a key site is of what the best key the site is of what the best food is croatian food websites

and mexico in there, portugal and mexico in there, portugal and italy. italy did the best but ranked french but the highest ranked french cheese was revolution , which was cheese was revolution, which was only 13th. and they've got absolutely immense. one of their reporters on that tv most popular channel said , how reporters on that tv most pcthis|r channel said , how reporters on that tv most pcthis possible?annel said , how reporters on that tv most pcthis possible? weel said , how reporters on that tv most pcthis possible? we theaid , how reporters on that tv most pcthis possible? we the landiow is this possible? we the land cheese. and then they asked a lot people the is lot of people the street is one of said was of them. said he was disappointed up his disappointed. they held up his head high nevertheless and said we french can be proud. yeah of what though you've not this you've love. they call themselves the land cheese. themselves the land of cheese. so is their achievement, so this is their achievement, which fair enough. know, which is fair enough. you know, if their then if that was their thing, then why shouldn't they be upset about they should at least about this? they should at least be surely. be in the top ten down, surely. yeah. i've no yeah. i mean, yeah, i've got no interest whatsoever. interest in this whatsoever. what's your favourite cheese? is it i. really. dairy li. it what i. really. dairy li. yeah, that's a pretty good one. i quite like le clos which is a french and i think i should be head to andrea, check. look at you. that is the best because it's a patriotic cheese. yeah lancashire tasty that's one. anything from the north or . just anything from the north or. just england. yeah. there it is. england. yeah. but there it is. and cheese is, it's just and even cheese is, it's just a kind of weird plastic. that's why know nothing about

why i said i know nothing about cheese. we're cheese. outrageous. okay, we're going another going to move on now to another story. from the story. this one is from the metro is the subject of . this metro is the subject of. this one's favourite band is the boomtown rats. is that right? done. yeah. a ballpark got sacked because she kept calling in sick on mondays . wow. all in sick on mondays. wow. all right, so this hairdresser sacked for calling in sick on mondays and been awarded free thousand pounds compensation an employment tribunal said that the employer didn't go through fair process. she's she's got like what they call in the medical world heavy session syndrome package titus this is after the weekend you go so hard you can't make work on a monday . but she would deny that when she would she would just say that she was that coincidentally she was always sick on mondays. but it's been happening. it's been happening for years. but anyway, this back this actually got my back up a little it was bad little bit. i thought it was bad as business owner myself. as a business owner myself. imagine wasn't imagine if someone wasn't turning for work on mondays for two then you finally fire two years, then you finally fire them. then they go and they sue. you absolutely screwed . yeah, you be absolutely screwed. yeah, you would i knew an actor

you would be. i knew an actor who and who in les miserables once and he always that after the weekend he always that after the weekend he singing really on the he was singing really on the first back . so actually it first day back. so actually it is a real thing is that people get really close you relate get really close as you relate to is someone singing to a barber is someone singing les miserables now artsy fartsy you are that's shocking. it was my first frame of reference. you know, it's why we love you. but she was ill on occasion. but she called in so many times. he called in sick so many times. he was totally within rights. was totally within his rights. this now. employers this is a problem now. employers can't anything. they sued can't do anything. they get sued even if they get threatened, legal give legal action. they'll just give out did out ridiculous payouts. but did she did say you she had me? did she say you know, out on a session she had me? did she say you kncweekend out on a session she had me? did she say you kncweekend and>ut on a session she had me? did she say you kncweekend and>ut ohasn'tssion all weekend and she hasn't she just she just finds out she had more days than . all the more days off than. all the other people combined from sick. more days off than. all the othe butople combined from sick. more days off than. all the othe but you combined from sick. more days off than. all the othe but you have jined from sick. more days off than. all the othe but you have to ed from sick. more days off than. all the othe but you have to because sick. more days off than. all the othe but you have to because she yes, but you have to because she was wasn't sick on this particular one. there was a pattern. do have pattern. but but you do have workers now and workers protections now and people sick people do get sick intermittently. can't intermittently. and you can't really. rid really. we need to get rid of those. can't assume people those. if can't assume people are leave the employ what i'm saying an employer down are leave the employ what i'm sa'an; an employer down are leave the employ what i'm sa'an; ryoumployer down are leave the employ what i'm sa'an; you are oyer down are leave the employ what i'm sa'an; you are sor down are leave the employ what i'm sa'an; you are so ifdown to an employer you are so if someone was missing every monday you rid of them. yes, you would get rid of them. yes, straight but i would straight away. but i would follow textbook regulations follow the textbook regulations

to wasn't at risk follow the textbook regulations to being wasn't at risk follow the textbook regulations to being , wasn't at risk follow the textbook regulations to being , but wasn't at risk follow the textbook regulations to being , but actually at risk follow the textbook regulations to being , but actually also sk follow the textbook regulations to being , but actually also this of being, but actually also this sort person who can't handle sort of person who can't handle a hangover . i sort of person who can't handle a hangover. i mean, come you a hangover. i mean, come on. you know, wouldn't but know, i wouldn't employ. but even no stamina . even one that has no stamina. ridiculous. what about this one? this a dating this is on a new dating technique times you're technique from the times you're a ladies man. is the whale story. and because this those intros are so oblique and i think this is about humpback whales , but i have no idea from whales, but i have no idea from your audience, there's a romantic element. i mean, humpbacks find love by giving up on whaling. and that's a pun on the whaling. and that's a pun whaling also whaling like whales, but also singing and shouting. thank you for . it's no worries. so for that. it's no worries. so humpback looking for love have shifted fighting shifted from singing to fighting as approach females. as a way to approach females. and happened with humans in and it's happened with humans in newcastle . but me living newcastle. but as for me living there for that's not the there for that's not in the story basically there story but yeah basically there was singing nicely singing was singing just nicely singing away from 1987 to 2015. and the ones who sang did better. but then that and so now the ones that don't sing but just fight are doing much and they reckon it's well one the world it's because well one the world just got harsher and general we've all noticed this, but there much distance before there was much distance before they sing across long

they had to sing across long distances it was not distances because it was not very populated the very densely populated the ocean. more densely ocean. but now it's more densely populated. they just close cool just out. actually just crapping out. so actually this is a good news story because means a species because it means a species whale. are more whale. yeah, there are more behaving worse . they're behaving behaving worse. they're behaving badly because it's more them badly because it's more of them . they need to, . yeah. so they just need to, you , get them checked you know, get them in checked and any and they don't have any thoughts. whales, thoughts. humpback whales, i mean you were always talking about yeah, i mean, well, about them. yeah, i mean, well, like, this like, like nick pointed this is very the human race . very similar to the human race. wetherspoons kicking out time wetherspoons is kicking out time on on friday night to not i mean , a little bit of a scrap , have a little bit of a scrap the look they're the ladies look and they're like, case is quite like, oh, that case is quite autumn. it relationship autumn. it is relationship material certain council material in certain council states how it works. it's states is how it works. it's also sing, but it doesn't work as well. so that's how i met my wife i would have thought that serenading of serenading is a better of courtship scrapping, courtship than scrapping, you know, hold tune know, if you can hold a tune think women it's think i think the women it's better if you can hold a headlock . is better if you can hold a headlock. is it. yeah. yeah. the ladies love them. you don't understand culture understand heterosexual culture and it's a very odd and i don't. it's a very odd cause just it's all cause you just think it's all singing and stuff singing lemurs around and stuff . just. i think that's . that's just. i think that's what not i think what it should be. not i think you a proper bird. you

you want a proper nice bird. you got someone got to punch someone in the face. advice . face. that's terrible advice. oh, talking. goodness me a bit. really last year. got this. thank you. okay we're going to be show we're to finish with this one. this the metro. this is the curse of soul. so dan, do you take an interest in your friend's lives? yeah. i mean, this is actually funny because my best at my wedding, he his name's ben and he he had a job and i never knew what it was. i mean, i knew we worked on computers. we all all of us actually used, to joke that he he in the or he worked in the mi5 or something. most think something. but most of us think we best friends inside out. we know best friends inside out. we line of we can recount a long line of terrible exes, loves different stuff we know about friends. but these articles basically saying that fall short on actually knowing our best friends do for a living . experts have shed a living. experts have shed light on this common phenomenon. phenomenon psychologist mark kenny explains. it's down to the fact that we have surface level

interest because as humans. we can be self fish, self—centred creatures . i just displayed that creatures. i just displayed that by saying i didn't know what my best man actually does for a job after, not him for about 20 years. how is that surface level? i would have thought the job do that's kind job that you do that's kind important are, you important to who you are, you know. friends know know. do your friends not know what you do? we are plastered all internet all over the internet and sending a video. so of sending them a video. so of course, you if you course, i mean, you know, if you if friends like he says he works in it and we've tried to program on a little bit and i don't know if it's because he's not interesting but he's never told us so instantly thought we worked that worked for him. i find that would be the assumption. nick, what this? what do you think about this? well, i and sort well, i think and you sort of alluded apply alluded to that it doesn't apply in show business. in show business, you know exactly what job your friend's doing because you take his like you want to take his job, like mine or mine is like host of or something. but what something. but you see what i mean? knows mean? in showbiz, everyone knows i've wanted jobs done it because they're it's just how they're just more it's just how it whereas yeah, maybe it is. whereas yeah, maybe in the my brother's the normie world at my brother's job, to i never job, i do struggle to i never really but i and in really grasped it, but i and in my team i know my football team i know i've done job, think i'm done the job, but i think i'm just better than people because i interest and ask

i show an interest and ask i think about people think it's about most people are selfish i selfish and don't care but i care other people you care about other people you don't i do nick there care about other people you donthings i do nick there care about other people you donthings i i do nick there care about other people you donthings i do i do nick there care about other people you donthings i do thato nick there care about other people you donthings i do thato ni knowzre are things i do that you know what much under the what you do so much under the top people. yeah i moonlight. yeah no i, i know all the yeah no i, i don't know all the secret well that we secret stuff. no. well that we have done have any for have done have any time for that. on very that. so we have to move on very quickly. but listen show is nearly so before we end nearly over. so before we end we're have another we're going to have another quick at. saturday's front quick look at. saturday's front pages, daily mail leading pages, daily mail is leading with doctors told don't with nhs doctors told don't assume the gender of any patient there's a lot of money going into those training sessions. the guardian has pm at faces tory rebellion on northern island protocol. that's rishi sunak attempting to sort out the problems over there . the problems over there. the telegraph with the same telegraph runs with the same story that pm's deal story that pm's brexit deal falls . a short says unionists falls. a short says unionists and the mirror. they are running with this story must share diana's secrets with her sons. this is paul burrell saying wills and harry need the from me before it's too late . and the before it's too late. and the daily star with this story attack of the psycho chat bought this is about a guy running amok as usual and threatening our

entire existence. that's all for tonight's show. thanks to dan o'reilly and nick. headline news is back tomorrow . josh, harry is back tomorrow. josh, harry leo kearse and cressida whetton . and if you're watching the five and repeat, please stick around because it's time for the breakfast .

and well come to coming up in the next hour, i'll be speaking tory titan sir john and the former cabinet minister will be giving us his take on whether rishi sunakis us his take on whether rishi sunak is on the verge of a brexit break through. really exciting news that one. plus we'll discuss the departure of nicola sturgeon and ask if the conservatives are on an election footing . also the most footing. also the most significant nurses strikes yet have been announced and two

guests will be here to debate whether it's morally wrong for nurses who work on emergency departments to withdraw their laboun departments to withdraw their labour. also i'll be talking to tv personality bobby norris about the scourge of celebrities being harassed by social media trolls and whether online abuse should be made illegal. or is it all about speech? well, this show is we've got 3 hours of it coming up, a lively show plus all your favourite elements . the all your favourite elements. the opinion, the big question and my take it ten lots to get through clips of the week as well folks. but first, the headlines with tatiana sanchez . mark, thank tatiana sanchez. mark, thank you. good evening . this is the you. good evening. this is the latest from the gb newsroom. the prime minister says we haven't got a deal yet as he vowed to continue negotiating with the european commission on the north island protocol. rishi sunak held talks with stormont leaders this to try to resolve the post brexit trading arrangements .