next i'm ray headliners. it's up next. but first, here's the latest news rishi sunak says he's giving to achieve a new deal over the northern ireland protocol by the end of this weekend. speaking to the sunday times, the prime minister said he is hopeful of a positive outcome with the european union describing it as unfinished business. he said it's vital to a return to power sharing in the province. comments come ireland's tea shock. leo varadkar said an agreement was possible but not guaranteed in the coming days. labour is calling for ministers to prescribe the whacking a group as a terror organisation . both as a terror organisation. both the shadow foreign and home

secretaries are accusing russian mercenary group of being a terror outfit which commits , terror outfit which commits, quote, appalling atrocities . the quote, appalling atrocities. the move would make it a criminal to belong to the private military company, attend its meetings , company, attend its meetings, encourage support of russian citizens in britain, have staged a protest of the russian embassy in london against their country's invasion of ukraine. it comes a day after the one year anniversary of the start of present president putin's incursion. the widower of poisoned dissident alexander litvinenko, who was said she was proud of the protesters . i'm proud of the protesters. i'm very proud to see this big crowd of russian people. a lot of young maybe never went to this kind of protest but i saw their face and they'd been all very loud to see how they're against the war how they support , how the war how they support, how they keep . putin and hundreds

they keep. putin and hundreds have gathered in county tyrone earlier to demand an end to violence in ireland after the attempted murder of an off duty policeman. chief inspector john policeman. chief inspectorjohn calder was shot outside a sports centre wednesday. he remains in critical condition. five suspects have been arrested. detectives say the incident is being treated as terror related and could be connected to the new ira on tv , online and on new ira on tv, online and on dab+ radio . this is gb news. dab+ radio. this is gb news. time now for headlines. hello and welcome to headliners. tonight, i'm joined to go through tomorrow's newspapers by. two top comedians in this price range, diane spencer and jonathan cogan. before we start will be with finding out what you've missed the weekend. so

have you been up to anything fun? have you been up to anything fun.7 i've got low expectations with that question. well think i might have covid. so i've been laying low and all that. now you . oh, it's fine . it's a hoax. . oh, it's fine. it's a hoax. and also it's not a hoax it's problems either way. i wish you would have informed me before i left. really? i didn't. really. so i'm just. i've got a slight cough, that's all. i got a kiss of. and how your. did you perform this? yes. i've literally come straight from performing in soho. i take part in this show called drag in the attic. and i have been mistake in for drag queen because i'm in for a drag queen because i'm so tall, which is lovely . i so tall, which is lovely. i mean, quite an impressive one. i guess so. there you go. you're out of ten. i'm not really how these things will pass in the waiting staff. just hold up a little number. you're like, cheers, guys. mean, obviously cheers, guys. i mean, obviously like hands as well. like the large hands as well. give away. but beautiful. all give me away. but beautiful. all right. well try and start off by going the front pages of the newspaper first have . if newspaper first that we have. if we can get them on the screen, we can get them on the screen, we get the observer with revealed in 100 police face

revealed one in 100 police face criminal charge in 2022 is their main story. we're looking at that soon onto the next we have the sun and sunak snubs over new brexit. the next newspaper is sunday times. i'm the pm who will get brexit done, says sunak . so if anyone's ever said that before . up next, we have the before. up next, we have the sunday express down on £40 million migrant lawyers and onto the next front page, which is the next front page, which is the sunday mirror. rishi please reunite my family is their main headune reunite my family is their main headline and then on to the next one to give us the star sunday satanist. go or go to hell which might be what they wanted. there's the front pages . so of there's the front pages. so of all we go to jonathan , see all we go to jonathan, see something that's not great statistics we're dealing with on

the front page of the observer no it's not fantastic. so revealed one in 100 police officers in england and wales faced criminal charge last faced a criminal charge last year , so that's 1% of all police year, so that's 1% of all police officers have been accused of a crime and awaiting charges. so these shocking figures show roughly one in 100 police officers face criminal charges , officers face criminal charges, including for sexual offences year alone. so an investigation has found that the police federation , the staff federation, the staff association for police received 1387 claims for legal support from members facing criminal charges in 2022. so i also know only that the numbers have skyrocketed by 590% since 2012. back then, only couple of hundred claims made. so it does seem to be really on the rise. my seem to be really on the rise. my immediate question is this figure of 1, is that higher than average population in terms like facing charges ? if it's the facing charges? if it's the same, then is that just saying that the police are representative of the population or do we need them to be better and that's i don't know those

stats my guess surely it's not 1% of everyone in this nation is charges to do with well, various charges. maybe just my friends . charges. maybe just my friends. yeah. was it 17 of your mates. just shy of 70 million people in the country supported 1% by 700,000. so yeah that checks out doesit 700,000. so yeah that checks out does it not in some parts because you fell in a bad crowd. we knew this when we vote. i'm a dangerous guy. but yeah, so it does seem to be a real problem here, especially you need the police to be trustworthy. you don't want them to be especially like, you sexual cases , like, you know, sexual cases, these kind things. they deal these kind of things. they deal with people all the with vulnerable people all the time you want. you the best of the best that can afforded. the best that can be afforded. yeah and that, that increase is the thing as, as this the worrying thing as, as this 500% increase then. is this a story that worries you obviously. i mean , think obviously. i mean, think it should everybody . these should worry everybody. these are people who are supposed are the people who are supposed to not do the crime. in fact, they're the who go around telling everybody to not do the crime and they're doing it. so

there is actually a circle in hell , people who do this. there is actually a circle in hell, people who do this. and then dante's inferno, it's the circle of hypocrites and figures are likely to be in because let's remember, these figures come from the police federation of england and wales and these figures have come from people asking for financial support when got in trouble, for example , the, the police officer was found to be caught most baiting on a public train not once but twice shocking in two ways. there a train. i know right ? there a train. i know right? that's why he was masturbating on. it is not a great phrase is then three of them jumped . yeah then three of them jumped. yeah so of course this is a terrible . i know that we're making light of it but of all the different crimes that we're talking about loads of bad and that one's bad but it certainly is worthy of ridicule it. oh definitely i mean really i mean like i don't think it was even one of those dining carriages. you want one with of atmosphere. yeah.

with a bit of atmosphere. yeah. you like orient express you want like the orient express . i mean that would be . oh yeah. i mean that would be much romantic first, of much romantic meal first, of course. lovely well, course. yeah. lovely well, you're right, we did manage to take a way like take that story in a way like it's move the front page, the it's move to the front page, the sunday diane and sunday telegraph. diane and what's are leading with? what's are they leading with? okay first of all, they've obviously lovely picture obviously got a lovely picture of princess wearing a nice of the princess wearing a nice houndstooth coat as she visits rugby. people but they have got soon, snaps johnson over new brexit deal. now this is because bofis brexit deal. now this is because boris johnson is sticking order in because he want to have his brexit deal trumped by sunak's brexit deal trumped by sunak's brexit deal trumped by sunak's brexit deal because he wants to be the prime minister that got brexit done. he doesn't want anybody else to take glory from him, which is what i think this is and also on the front page of this, we have the james bond's books edited to remove references. now i appreciate the when they were changing the roald dahl books, they were trying to sort remove language

like you know augustus gloop fat. he's enormously fat and they were changing this language. now font is a descriptive word and i and they say the twits , ugly people and say the twits, ugly people and i don't think twits that nice net i mean the ones twits right that's the worst word that i could and that's true. but here they're removing racist references and to be honest with you, with i'm going with i think this is great because you've got you've got to think about it . you've got to think about it. got a whole generation of people who the bond films and what if want to go back and they want to read the books and it just would just feel the small child who reads it and says, wait a minute, i'm a black child. and i don't the way that i'm being described , don't think you described, don't think you should remove references to race like when you're describing people i'm a white british woman call me by my race that's fine without mentioning race at all. i said i've only ever seen the

films or read the book. certainly no would be a weird film if there's no mention race at all. like what? what at all. like why? what? what undercover are you going undercover mission are you going there? yeah. you there? sean connery yeah. you do need mention sort of like need to mention to sort of like put people different like put people different places like you need to mention that for if you need to mention that for if you write a book about what's happening right? putin is russian. so you do need to mention to have context . mention to have context. jonathan is there a chance that this is just a publishing house thinking, oh, if we to be editing as some words will be mentioned on the front page of a national, do you think it could be a marketing drive? it certainly could be because some people the people suggested that with the roald books, where they roald dahl books, where they made these they're made all these claims. they're going to changing it. there's going to be changing it. there's a then a big public outcry and then they anything. and they didn't do anything. and obviously that's got loads of press roald dahl. i think press for roald dahl. i think it's they've it's possible that they've gotten of like gotten rid of some of the like the terms as well. so the sexist terms as well. so octopussy octo won't be a octopussy is now octo won't be a good, good replacement . i didn't good, good replacement. i didn't think of one but yeah it's also kitty think of one but yeah it's also kitty exactly october well saved that because i was nervous a while but i'm yeah i mean

sensitivity readers. yeah yeah. i thought roald dahl was already edhed i thought roald dahl was already edited when i found out that the bfg was friendly. edited when i found out that the bfg was friendly . to the front bfg was friendly. to the front page of the times. now jonathan , are they going with so on some of the times? it is the low level crimes get zero charges. so this is a story about how this seems to be at least in pubuc this seems to be at least in public perception, that a lot of low level crimes such as bike theft or, you know, like kind of petty robbery. i think i made that up by like, oh, you know, those kind of crimes that being reported the, you know, the are noting them, but they're not them there's an example them up. so there's an example here of somebody had their here of somebody who had their bike they where bike stolen. they knew where it was had tracker on was because i had a tracker on it. they told the police, the police gave a crime number, but he this chap got the impression that crime not important that his crime was not important enough knowing where enough despite knowing where his bike said call me bike was. they said they call me when heading that way, but when we're heading that way, but never have the never did. so like have the perpetrator something perpetrator and something similar i was on similar happened to. me i was on told cashbox got told my band all cashbox got stolen. stolen thousand stolen. got stolen thousand pounds. caught guy and

pounds. they caught the guy and they were oh, we could they were like, oh, we could follow with the, you know, follow up with the, you know, try where the money is. try to find where the money is. but just went, not but we just went, she's not getting it. we've got the guy and they're like, we're a cash collection agency. like, we kind of of thing. of all it's kind of whole thing. they stole cash. yes. more they stole cash. yes. it's more your so your remit. exactly. yeah. so was the way, we was empowered by the way, we noficed was empowered by the way, we noticed reference someone's noticed that reference someone's doing was the early doing all that was the early days. club that i days. that was the club that i was before we made a shirts. but yeah, this is a yeah. so it does seem thing people, it seems seem that thing people, it seems to people have lost to be that people have lost their faith in reporting small crimes and they don't really expect them to be taking care. of course. i mean, it's deep demoralising because something unfair and unfair has happened to you and then you call the police, then when you call the police, who people who are who are the people who are supposed sort out, not supposed to sort this out, not only not sorting it only are they not sorting it out, but worse, they're under investigation because they're too busy waiting on trains and it's why why is my bike being stolen? you're having a jolly on the train to people in for a joy who gets say well if someone who nicked your bike can you call the police and they said i'm sorry, we can't help because i'm

just on the 1015 from st pancras c blake alright. you've yeah. well you're not going to interrupt me right now. yeah. but right. okay police were they always been around. let's remember the police was started in the 1800s so we had a lot of time where we had no police right. so what is going to replace the police . that's my replace the police. that's my question because we have now got people like the people like i'm just saying that that yeah bruce wayne made batman but that is like one do what i'm saying is we got millionaires, right? we got some millionaires floating around. can we have some kind of security force . do you know i security force. do you know i mean, you're calling for vigilantism i'm gay. i'm gay. so like cra let's get in those units odds. i think we need to, like because clearly the police are not doing their job so are not doing theirjob so somebody a week then start having neighbourhood groups made out facebook groups that kind of go around because it wasn't that mob justice. yeah but there was

a group that did this for ginger people. if somebody was found to be the mickey out of be taking the mickey out of ginger you know what, ginger people, do you know what, they to that they do. they go round to that person's they would stick a carrot, their exhaust pipe, cement then cement the car work. and then you you done. i'm glad you knew what you done. i'm glad you knew what you done. i'm glad you said exhaust pipe, because i didn't know where that story was going. yeah, i also. they made that a back on film. that into a back on film. i would it. i'm sorry. would not watch it. i'm sorry. it's the you repeat it's not the same. you repeat narrative then finally the narrative and then finally the move to the daily star, their front satanism, front talking about satanism, the satanism. the second mention of satanism. so far tonight by the way, i noficed so far tonight by the way, i noticed got a special place noticed it got a special place in for hypocrites, you in hell for hypocrites, you know? yeah, well, i was just by what the press. um, what i read in the press. um, i mean, i think that this is interesting. i don't that they're. that they changing their advertising , trying to their advertising, trying to sort of bring more people in. i don't think it necessarily means they're going well, look, because you think about it, satanists always been woke because they've always been sort of against what the church think . historically . the church have historically been misogynistic. they've been very patriarchal . they've very patriarchal. they've limited people's freedoms. and

the satanists are the opposite they're like, hey, guys, have sex, contraception, let's go, let's be crazy, let's be fun and i think that just changing, they advertise . i think that's what's advertise. i think that's what's happening they're to sort happening here. they're to sort of themselves more of make themselves as more friendly and open no, it's like, we'll kill your chicken . come we'll kill your chicken. come on, enjoy all that's killing chickens. less are you tempted? i think so. so i've always wondered with these guys, are these are they sexual ? are they these are they sexual? are they religious people who actually believe in the devil and want to worship and live the devil's domain or they strictly kind of atheist taking the piss out of taking the mic, i should say sorry out of the whole thing. yeah yeah. i've always wondered what angle is it. do believe in the church of satan. this groups have different angles that like yet reform all the brownies in the scouts. yeah yeah well there's got to be some religion in the satan in there. otherwise the satan part, name doesn't really part, their name doesn't really make much sense. so we're make much sense. so what we're up with that will go deeper up to with that will go deeper into the papers on the way. we'll be finding out a few

things do with royal things to do with the royal family. into into .

welcome back. i'm stephen allen and this is headline is with jonathan cogan and diane spencer . so to the mail on sunday we're almost starting with another story about self—identifying i think camilla has been identifying a queen for about 20 years. if i'm completely honest. so camilla will officially be known as the rather than queen consort after king's coronation. so this change is likely to come after king charles's coronation in may. according well—placed in may. according to well—placed . the seal on a .we'll set the seal on a remarkable transformation for camilla in the nation's affections. so when married the prince of wales it was prince of wales in 2005, it was widely that she would never be called queen. when he ascended to throne . and was to the throne. and that was because long standing because of a long standing relationship charles while relationship with charles while he to diana, he was married to diana, famously, said during

famously, famously said during the panorama interview, there were three of us in this marriage. so it was a bit crowded in the south hall. but yes, so it seems like, you know, the view of camilla has changed and perception seems to and public perception seems to be favourable her be more favourable towards her now. moral of the now. yeah. and the moral of the story if you are side piece, story is if you are side piece, hang there . oh yeah. hang in there. oh yeah. because it's quite . but that's the moral it's quite. but that's the moral of the moral and i believe side pieces of the correct phrase. but you can't say the actual real moment is. well i think it's nice. i mean, what's interesting is that they say the press think that queen consort is too much of a mouthful. so already the newspapers are just dropping the consort. i mean, i think the word consort is like a kind of pudding that's like a consort or something if you think about the words. right, listen, queen camilla, consort , listen, queen camilla, consort, doesit listen, queen camilla, consort, does it sound like cream? vanilla custard, something ? vanilla custard, something? yeah. do you know what i mean? like, maybe they should make a nice pudding to celebrate it because have that nice lemony thing, the queen's jubilee. could like, nice new

could we have, like, nice new pudding for queen camilla? well, surely they're going do some surely they're going to do some i coronation chicken. you i mean, coronation chicken. you know, the last one i'm looking forward to the sandwich is. yeah. going i yeah. what's it going to be? i know i can't wait. it's interesting. the queen interesting. as the queen camilla. yeah absolute she camilla. yeah absolute mess. she should pudding . yes. so i should have a pudding. yes. so i think is good because you think this is good because you know she is now the consul formerly known as camilla. no, she's the queen formerly known consort. well, whatever, she's she's the queen it's nice. yeah sunday's times, jonathan . sunday's times, jonathan. microsoft, which coincidentally was my ex's nickname for me, is tense. i it's a tech . yeah my ex tense. i it's a tech. yeah my ex his nickname was dropbox. so microsoft makes its last stand in 69 billion battle of the cool of duty so yeah so last year marks unveiled its of duty so yeah so last year marks unveiled it s £57 billion marks unveiled its £57 billion takeover of video game activision blizzard in january and basically that happened sony

issued a warning saying that microsoft could restrict the distribution, the very popular video game, call of duty on the playstation. and ever since microsoft had been fighting a battle to convince regulators to approve a deal that would microsoft control of a suite of hugely games such as hugely popular games such as candy crush, guitar hero overwatch crash bandicoot. so basically the is here, basically the issue is here, a huge sulphur mark soft has four activision blizzard and now there's a worry that this is going to be a monopoly because they could essentially with a new intellectual property not allow them on the playstation that's biggest competitor. so now whole legal now there's this whole legal debate battle going on about debate and battle going on about it gamer , right? what it you're a gamer, right? what was your you are activision blizzard go. no no i'm not really into call of duty and some of their other games but microsoft did buy mojang who make minecraft and what is relevant about this is that obviously a lot of people now you have your favourite console you have your favourite console you have your favourite console you have your favourite way of playing games like i'm pc gamer

where so i don't have an xbox or a playstation one so the idea that they're going to take call of duty off playstation to me just seems silly it's naturally suit as you know, because it's a first person shooter. it's naturally suited to have that sort of controller . but i don't sort of controller. but i don't know, it's very strange . they know, it's very strange. they he's trying to say, oh, no, we're not going to take it off the playstation. and i agree because i think you'd lose lot of revenue if you there's no point to get there's no point in taking it off the playstation show so people can't play. but can you argue it's going to bnng can you argue it's going to bring everyone over to xbox because it's so popular and because it's so popular and because microsoft make xbox they like playstation have done like okay playstation have done everybody we've like okay playstation have done eve all)dy we've like okay playstation have done eve all the we've like okay playstation have done eve all the goodies we've like okay playstation have done eve all the goodies i we've like okay playstation have done eve all the goodies i suppose�*ve got all the goodies i suppose you could it will inherently you could but it will inherently lose something that lose something like game that i play lose something like game that i play regularly the pc called play regularly on the pc called rust. brought out and put rust. they brought out and put it onto a and there are people who play on the console who yeah they started then altering the game to make it more applicable the console players and they've got this whole legacy of pc

players going no wait a minute our fingers aren't working properly now the guns are aiming all differently. remember all differently. so i remember when i used to be young enough to be able to a cumbersome to be able to have a cumbersome about games basically. payne to be able to have a cumbersome atthe games basically. payne to be able to have a cumbersome atthe last es basically. payne to be able to have a cumbersome atthe last time|sically. payne to be able to have a cumbersome atthe last time iically. payne to be able to have a cumbersome atthe last time i did.y. payne to be able to have a cumbersome atthe last time i did anythingiyne is the last time i did anything and can think and that's and you can think and that's great. yeah yeah. anyway, moving on after i show my age, the observer, diana and another tech company that is a monopoly. when i said they're not pro—choice. well well , this is interesting. well well, this is interesting. so the observer has run with the headune so the observer has run with the headline of adverts direct women to services run by uk anti abortion groups. now this article is interesting because to me. this is the observer versus google . it's and they're versus google. it's and they're attacking google and they're using the very emotive, very emotion nally charged subject of abortion to attack them because they're that whenever you type

into google something like teenage pregnancy help or something like that which people will type in they're saying that . 47% of the adverts are from groups opposed to abortion. so if you look , it means that 51% if you look, it means that 51% of from groups that maybe are offering healthy advice now , offering healthy advice now, there is an issue here because when you go to somewhere like for advice, you do want impartial advice, especially with something as delicate as this or , any medical issue. but this or, any medical issue. but everybody how google is laid out when you get those first response when you get those first things, you get the adverts at the top and they are labelled as ads. adverts at the top and they are labelled as ads . yeah. and the labelled as ads. yeah. and the issue is that some of these ads, they'll say things like pregnant sea crisis helpline , which sea crisis helpline, which sounds like it's going to offer

you impartial advice but it's actually not is in the point. would google not have a to be clear about this you know it's taking money from someone those adverts and it's serving to people who will have a search term that fairly obvious what they mean, should they not something the algorithm that something in the algorithm that if are clearly if you know if you are clearly if you know if you are clearly if you know if know what you mean by your search we shouldn't search term we shouldn't offering something that's offering you something that's disguising life disguising its way into life when coca and it when google coca cola and it said did want pepsi you know said oh did want pepsi you know that's i did not want pepsi pepsi goes against my fundamental so what you're saying some particular saying is that some particular search terms should not have adverse ads because google have said that these clearly say that the ads that clearly bold and i think anybody who's used to using google knows how the search engine sort of delivers its results. so i suppose the only way that google could that is if with certain search terms decide to not show you adverts we'll just ask jeeves. they keep saying sunday telegraph and so

are we. the time of two wheels. good for wheels. oh, it could be more of a three. will rely on robin . so three. i've had an robin. so three. i've had an accident. yeah so the highway code and needs an update to predict pedestrians from cyclists . so pedestrians need cyclists. so pedestrians need protecting from cyclists with new laws to match the updated code. barrister commissioned code. a barrister commissioned by the has said so lord was asked by the department for transport produce an independent report into whether a new law should be introduced for cyclists cause death or cyclists who cause death or injury on a report. i concluded that was a persuasive case for cyclists who kill or injured pedestrians face laws similar to those that brought against by motorists. so basically, it's been said that a cyclist called injuries aren't being taken that seriously by the law and under current laws. it's quite interesting. cyclist who interesting. a cyclist who can be jailed for up be prosecuted and jailed for up to two years under a victorian law for furious and wanton intended for horse drawn carriages , however, motorists carriages, however, motorists face a life sentence if charged and convicted of causing death

by dangerous driving. so there's a discrepancy between by dangerous driving. so there's a two discrepancy between by dangerous driving. so there's a two different)ancy between by dangerous driving. so there's a two different vehicles. neen by dangerous driving. so there's a two different vehicles. if en the two different vehicles. if you'll weapon you'll like, an absolute weapon and you kill somebody , it and you kill somebody, it doesn't really matter which vehicle you and right is your behaviour has endanger the lives of others and or even if it matters which vehicle you would have that's built into the sentence. but it wouldn't be such a stark difference if they go to two years, you'll be one versus the rest of your life in prison. this is insane to me. it's absolutely insane if you've killed that's killed another human that's manslaughter how does being on a bike mean that? oh, no, wait that's just bad. driving like , that's just bad. driving like, does that take away from the fact that you've entered another kind of things? life anything that you've probably been more dangerous it on a bike dangerous to do it on a bike because got to gonaives , because you've got to gonaives, like if you're going to murder somebody while you're on bike, like, i mean, maybe the thing if you want murder somebody, you want to murder somebody, the police to solve the police aren't going to solve the crime bike. busy on the crime on a bike. too busy on the trains then. yeah, do it on a bike. so the idea of hitman bike. so the idea of a hitman where the hitman is a cyclist on a bike. i'd watch that rather

than your ginger batman. if i'm brutally honest. hey, i didn't say that was film. it was say that ginger was film. it was a real life gang mate. i wouldn't use that thrilling stuff. i'm sure you'd agree, brian. we've got brian. how? and then we've got police apathy , schools being police apathy, schools being compared prisons followed by compared to prisons followed by actual l sell out of my actual big l sell out of my life. can't say that mega prisons basically is the way of doing it . and if you're a fan of doing it. and if you're a fan of tattoos, you're going to love it. we'll see that .

welcome back to headline is with me stephen ireland. let's go into sunday's telegraph diane and as a white working class man have i got something that i can blame for me not get into cambridge rather than just my lack of intelligence? you oh, yes, the with a degree in yes, says the with a degree in chemistry from cambridge, russia . so cambridge blocked white

students from applying course. so this was the university school of arts and humanities and they had created a postgraduate course . and this postgraduate course. and this course was supposed to increase diversity because a lot of the people who were going to do the postgraduate courses at cambridge have already studied at cambridge and oxford . so at cambridge and oxford. so i think it's about 40. so that's a bulk for them. so they were like, right, we need to diversify . and all they did was diversify. and all they did was look at race. they didn't look at anything else. they didn't look at, for example , situation look at, for example, situation loans of students. so when put the call out for lecturers this was in february , they said they was in february, they said they listed all the students that this course was before and they said it was for black, british, black, bangladeshi, british pakistani, british, bangladeshi so if your british career or chinese, british or white british joke on, you're not

allowed . so obviously some of allowed. so obviously some of the lecturers what oh this seems a little racist do we racist now and thankfully they have changed now to include more people especially people from white working class backgrounds because that's actually very, very important they're the people as well. like anybody from a working class background to get to cambridge university has got a much farther picture need to make but it's i head the humanities department so not proper degrees anyway so they're not they're all made up. yeah that's all true. don't go to it's a scam unless you're doing stem and even then you know keep eye out also what are the and sufficient conditions for class because i i'm think i'm middle class and i like to think my sister is working class just because she knows less than me that's no i don't think that's how i look i'm pretty sure it does. do you know somebody who didn't get cambridge didn't get into cambridge i should know the that's what they

show be called is it people who didn't get into cambridge than when was when andrew's on and he was oxford met him. he went oxford isn't. i met him. he went to yeah but what ever you to both. yeah but what ever you worked i used worked for the bbc when i used to bit of that they actually to a bit of that they actually have a question that tests working class background in terms of level of they do cockney and if you cockney rhyming slang and if you can the of the show can fill at the end of the show your knife and if try your fish knife and if you try and like do the grafting with it, in. now ask you it, you're in. now they ask you what parents did. the main what your parents did. the main breadwinner what they for breadwinner what they did for a living when you were 14, whilst way to test is having way of trying to test is having a fund a job. i never as way of trying to test is having a got fund a job. i never as way of trying to test is having a got t01d a job. i never as way of trying to test is having a got to sunday'si never as way of trying to test is having a got to sunday's mirror as way of trying to test is having a got to sunday's mirror diane we got to sunday's mirror diane andifs we got to sunday's mirror diane and it's the story a mega prison which sounds like a bingo but apparently not i this is apparently it's not i this is absolutely incredible mega absolutely incredible so a mega prison salvador or where prison in el salvador or where 40,000 suspected gangsters have been crammed in side by side now . i'm president naive kelly. let's just paint the picture of who this guy is. he has self—styled himself on twitter as world's coolest dictator . he as world's coolest dictator. he is the guy who made bitcoin in a legal legal tender in el

salvador . let's legal legal tender in el salvador. let's remember, this was before the price of bitcoin . and he's been to talking all the people about escaping. and now he's created this mega prison and this prison, for example, that all no recreational facilities whatsoever . and has created whatsoever. and has created a space. each building has 32 cells of 100 square metres , with cells of 100 square metres, with each one set to hold 100 prisoners as yeah, a square metre each . that's what it metre each. that's what it sounds like. sounds like a state school . it's horrible. and these school. it's horrible. and these cells just two sinks and toilets for all 100 inmates to use . now, for all 100 inmates to use. now, i'm sorry, but as jonathan said earlier, i am a gamer and one of those games i play is a game called prison architect. right. and you have to build a prison . and you have to build a prison. and you have to build a prison. and can i tell you, if i put hundred it's a simulation game. if i put

hundred it's a simulation game. if | put 100 hundred it's a simulation game. if i put 100 prisoners with two toilets and two sinks, i've got on my hands and this is inside saying that he's done this, he's rounded up 63,000 gangsters already . well, that's my word. already. well, that's my word. that's the paint. it was a football thing. yeah so he's rounded up 63,000 gangsters already. apparently 2000 have already. apparently 2000 have already gone into the jail it's. and there no sense of rehabilitation in here there's nothing he's just basically once you're there all that time back to an army but these people are already i mean that this no trial there's no trial he's just them up and packing them in and their recreation but they do get do the conga core. i mean it's the yoga it looks awful and this guy l the yoga it looks awful and this guy i don't know what he's doing. he's kind of turning el salvador with , the bitcoin. and salvador with, the bitcoin. and now these these like prison cubesis now these these like prison cubes is it literally into like judge ? it's like a dystopian tv judge? it's like a dystopian tv like scene from it does it? i think i think he's just trying

be as disincentivizing criminals as he can be as i look this what's going to happen but he's also adopted crypto which is mainly which initially used by criminals and is still used by criminals and is still used by criminals to bully. he's got to do something to try and fill these prisons. they're so at least he's done something. try and get more people breaking the law him. but bitcoin law against him. but bitcoin involved, works. involved, the system works. yeah. sunday's star, the yeah. sunday's star, diana. the prison where you have still prison where you have still prison related . we've got a prison related. we've got a theme, but it's prison where theme, but it's a prison where you to be polite and you have to be polite and respectful to the inmates come so the daily star on sunday prison guards ordered to join quote sensitivity classes so they don't insult eight sex offenders now do think this is a rather inflammatory because if you think about it this actually does sense the prisoners are there again. yes to serve their time but they are there surely to be rehabilitated in some sense. and if you have guards who the outside and if a guard

is there making sexual slurs , is there making sexual slurs, ethnicity slurs or or is just generally the banter is getting out of hand, then surely that is a problem. do you not think do you not think that that they should be the model of what it's how you should behave do? you not think that jonathan , should not think that jonathan, should they be the very model of a modern major—general. well, i've always kind of thought that, you know, screws in a prison, know, the screws in a prison, that the whole thing is like they were kind of really mean and tough like there's and tough and not like there's any ready allowed to do any job ready allowed to do that. kind that. that. that's kind of that. i mean, i don't like tyranny. i don't like, you know, i don't think should bullying but think they should bullying but what they want to know what could they want to know what could they want to know what that offends what could they want to know whéoffenders that offends what could they want to know whéoffenders because at offends what could they want to know whéoffenders because that'snds sex offenders because that's going some pretty brutal going to be some pretty brutal stuff. i want to know the depth depravity go kind depravity that they go to kind of upset most deviant people of upset the most deviant people in but mean, in the country. but i mean, yeah, just i totally get that. yeah, i just i totally get that. i mean, you want to do that as a writing with you writing exercise. i'm with you that see you what

that i can see what you what kind of i'm going to get on later and like i'm a sex later and be like i'm a sex offender insult me. don't clip that the next stop is not right for show is to be for this show is going to be brilliant i mean dumb . the brilliant but i mean dumb. the point that this is actually you could the same saying could write the same saying people joke be people who work in a joke be professional. you should be professional. you should be professional like professional and surely like because the guard is the it's the connection to the outside now you're saying no, you've done wrong. well like if they're in there going well wait a minute. yeah we've, done wrong. we crime. we went we committed the crime. we went over the border and we have we hurt somebody but then got hurt somebody else. but then got a and they're a guard. and the way they're talking and the way they treat you yeah. but you think, oh yeah. but everybody like it's just. everybody talks like it's just. i cold. like, if there's, if i got cold. like, if there's, if there's nothing to look to, nothing to look forward to, nothing to look forward to, nothing to look forward to, nothing to aspire to, what's the point ? is a nothing to aspire to, what's the point? is a prison cell block h would have been below mail on jonathan when you to go. you got to go. unless you had teachers lock the county. yes, yes . let lock the county. yes, yes. let me just find that quick story.

oh 19 oh me just find that quick story. oh 19 0h 17 me just find that quick story. oh 19 oh 17 that's my. yes no. 17 is wait, where are we? we're going to imagine if is story 13. imagine there's a head in a toilet involved. it can't be many them. no, no i we, i just many them. no, no i we, ijust haven't read any of them so that teacher slams parents who compared his school to a prisoner of war after was struck by tick tock riots during day of chaos and warns your child may not always represent the full story. well i don't that story. well i don't believe that for second so chris stokes for a second so chris stokes headteacher funding academy leeds may not always leeds warned that may not always represent the story the represent the full story and the toilets of toilets were closed because of serious safeguarding so serious safeguarding events. so basically a school which basically this is a school which has essentially all the toilets dunng has essentially all the toilets during lesson times because kids were going in and bathing. now anyone knows any kid worth is told knows. wait till the teacher turns around. then you don't have to go out the room just de la it just say it's your length. africa what i would like to that some moral here but basically everyone's got really

upset they're saying it's a violation of the human rights not be able to go take a i can say slash i think a slash in the middle of a classroom you know just don't take it in the middle of the classroom state school, that's fine. but yeah. so basically everyone's been annoyed. an and annoyed. it's been an uproar and he's like, no, that's fine. we just, know, just we've, just, you know, just we've, we've got the toilet there it. yeah. i think really yeah. what i think is really interesting is interesting about this is, is that have connected on that kids have connected on social media and they've decided that protesting rioting is the way forward . i mean, is this way forward. i mean, is this a sign of the times that we're in because they they they we see a lot of protests on the news and let those prisoners get on tiktok because right serious france i mean unless they're doing a dance routine but you've got like all of these protests that happen , you've got just a that happen, you've got just a foil, you've got extinction rebellion. obviously, this is like a big running threat. and these kids are kind of going, no, we're going to do what i disagree with is the parents comparing a prisoner of comparing it to a prisoner of war camp . i think war camp. i think that's a little hyperbolic there i think

that's a little over the top although a young ladies was stopped from going to the bath room when they specifically were on period potentially on that penod on period potentially on that period and already like a really cringeworthy time for a girl to sort of have that because it's just a horrible time of life you don't really know what's happening and i still don't know what's happening if i'm completely . and then to completely honest. and then to sort of be denied the right to go to the loo, that is pretty horrible. do you remember from school? an awful school? there are an awful lot of statistic actually there weren't there have weren't there shouldn't have been girls not been that many girls not swimming . it been that many girls not swimming. it was such a been that many girls not swimming . it was such a great we swimming. it was such a great we were talking about synchronicity in sync still just make swimming. it's like when you say in when you say that, well that means is a man's name it's really me, right? that's for this part my dad . but after the this part my dad. but after the break, the final historical, admittedly unhinged section of headliners. but tonight we thought we'd try something a bit different . so instead we've got different. so instead we've got what towns have the most virgins, a virtual kissing

machine, and where to survive the upcoming zombie apocalypse? oh boy. that's no different, that's all, is it? we'll see. there .

welcome back to headliners. let's straight to sun star, jonathan aid and good advice for any satanist you've . got a goat any satanist you've. got a goat and a willingness to travel. sounds like sam smith the curry so okay so uk town where people are most likely to be virgins according to studies. have you ever wondered what of the uk has the most virgins? well to a new study. what's wrong with if you haven't yet? just googling for that. they looked as though a new study basically said trains brumbies. brumbies others found with the most virgins , though with the most virgins, though presumably because it's the least accent. as we can all concun least accent. as we can all concur. so more than one in every 20 folk in birmingham said they have never had sex with

around living in around million adults living in the city. that works out at 16,000 adults who've never had a night of passion. can you guess who the most the least? per capita, yes sutton ashfield, just outside mansfield could be. and it was all my way. well, that's not what i'm. that's the blue plaque, the mine. i want to know is that it's newcastle. close. yeah. yeah. pretty similar . the close. yeah. yeah. pretty similar. the only 1% saying they've never romped. wow. only 1. that's with a population of 83. i mean, something like 100% of those are like in cabs. i suppose it's historical romping. well no, they could be pretty dodgy cabs. you never know what happens there. i i've done quite a few gigs. zimbabwe that is a very fun town. so that really surprised me that that came out and i guess like . also who's and i guess like. also who's going to answer this question? number one. maybe people are

more likely to be virgins. likely to answer surveys if they live in. i that you can't trust survey people now you really can't because it's no it's not totally accurate. who walks up totally accurate. who walks up to a stranger with a clipboard? virgins just in case this is their lucky time. they said that a total of 3% of millennials aged between 25 and 34. and this wonderful language, daily star said they'd never bonked . my said they'd never bonked. my thing is the repeated use of the word in this article because i know it's quite a funny word that i used to sort of hate when i was younger. but i bringing it back and it's it just sounds like you've been accidentally dunng like you've been accidentally during the motion . i got shot in during the motion. i got shot in the tooth once. oh, that was horrible. oh knocking your teeth was like, when you, like, snog someone and you got a brace and they got braces, untangling it, stuck there . oh, no, i've never stuck there. oh, no, i've never had that. i've never. by the. let's move on to the times.

sunday times diane and i make sure that i'm the alpha male by always asking to work with jonathan but other people take their advice from andrew tate . their advice from andrew tate. yeah unfortunately so in the sunday times the title is schools to blame for boys idolised . andrew tate says idolised. andrew tate says sacked teacher. now let's just underline in the word sacked so this will knowland was sacked from eton college and unfortunately he presents a little bit of a weird buffet presents one of those platters where you think oh is that a plate of sausages and then you realise in the middle there's a couple of posts he basically says that in a properly functioning education system blaming the school system for boys, having a crisis of masculinity . he's saying that masculinity. he's saying that they that the school is not teaching chivalry the schools are not teaching that you become

are not teaching that you become a strong mass clean man to stand up for the for the weaker people that. up for the for the weaker people that . you become a strong person that. you become a strong person to look after family. he's saying that schools are not teaching people this . and i teaching people this. and i guess my argument be no that teaching people maths and physics and geography and history is the job of society to teach these things to kids, not just schools. i feel like this quy's just schools. i feel like this guy's wrong. the reason why i compared him to a poo on a plate is because some of his ideas are not great either . is because some of his ideas are not great either. he sort of made quite controversial video called the patriarchy paradox , called the patriarchy paradox, which repeated claims that women revert to a primitive life without men. now, no offence, chaps , but if you weren't here, chaps, but if you weren't here, i wouldn't be running around with a club trying to smash seagulls in the face like. i, i think i would just on with my life. you say that now. sun star jonathan used to say, show me a

man who doesn't want sex and i'll show you managed just had some. but that is change. very true. so again, it's kind of related. it's a young man sex breakdown with bonking that we go 30 year old hazell a busy epidemic looms there is nick anyway so a new study found that men in their twenties are twice likely to be single than women of same age. so a study says young men are experiencing a sex breakdown twice as breakdown and are twice as likely be single young women. likely to be single young women. i breakdown was i thought a sex breakdown was when had too much, when you've had too much, too many shinies have to many shinies and you have to thumb endlessly . yeah, yeah, thumb it endlessly. yeah, yeah, yeah. very nice amount in yeah. a very nice amount in terms of a very, very man. yes, lovely . so basically men aren't lovely. so basically men aren't getting laid. they're not having relationships are that is half the rate the women are, which is kind of interesting when you think about it because you think it'd be equal, but it's not. it's like the high value are essentially go full agitate on it having relations with lots of women whereas the average low value male isn't and that's just

you know it's sad basically many more chivalry like the other guy i was trying to teach about but there is a solution down which we can from the sun star you can kiss on the internet. yes i hope i get a good review on lip advisor. may say i chinese advisor. i may say i chinese remote device with silicone lips . let's use this kiss through the internet now i'm particularly lucky. i have a very enthusiastic so the only silicone i have is all kitchenware. but this is actually a remote pair of lips that contains pressure sensors and has certain temperature fluctuations . so i guess you fluctuations. so i guess you sort of stick it on your phone. there it is. oh, make everything man is seen that i just thought the same thing that but next to each other i want to just get oh that's siblings they just trying out but also it's in case that you know the person you want to smooch happens to be contagious and you sort of want to get that sensation now i can of

understand this human beings you know even if you're long distance you want a bit of contact and warmth but these people it's on sale it's about £35 for a silicone and you can also sort of try kissing , i also sort of try kissing, i guess without just dialling random numbers . yeah. hello my random numbers. yeah. hello my worry is that it's a made in china, so it's going to scan your mouth and still your dental record. so it's less than a minute. try and cover this one if we could. then we get to look this in the event of the upcoming zombie apocalypse . upcoming zombie apocalypse. there's one place where you want to john yes, is anna is to be. john yes, sir? is anna is not north england the best not north of england so the best place the uk survive place in the uk to survive zombie apocalypse. news zombie apocalypse. it's bad news for northerners famous for for northerners essex famous for its multiple terrible tv shows , its multiple terrible tv shows, apparently the best place in the united kingdom to a zombie apocalypse. so rural corner of the country famously known for telly . other such trash is the telly. other such trash is the best place to survive an invasion of the undead. research i because it's the i reckon, because it's the essex. it has a coast, it has a

it has a coast and it's also got loads of empty buildings and, nuclear bunkers. if you drive . i nuclear bunkers. if you drive. i work in essex. sometimes there's a sign that says that points to secret nuclear bombs that are secret nuclear bombs that are secret are you if you have a road sign but there go and also zombies are famously half the brain so they all love that. so the show's nearly let's take another quick look at sunday's front pages. the observer revealed one in 100 police faced criminal charge 2022 sunday telegraph goes with sunak snubs johnson over new brexit deal and james bond, edited to remove racist references sunday times . racist references sunday times. i'm the pm who will get brexit done so soon and low level crimes zero charges sunday express cracked down on £40 million migrant lawyers in the sunday mirror. rishi please reunite my family. sunday mirror. rishi please reunite my family . and finally, reunite my family. and finally, the daily star satanist go woke or go to hell and bake off contestants and inclusive tv t—shirts in recruitment drive that'll get them in. and that's

all we have. it's time for. thank you to my guests, jonathan and diane tomorrow night's andrew doyle joined scott andrew doyle joined by scott chaparro kearse . until chaparro and leo kearse. until then, have a good .

good evening, good evening , fellow travellers. good evening, fellow travellers. welcome along to neil. all of life on gb news tv and on radio . tonight on the show i'll be talking to actress and biohacker davinia taylor about the importance of food , how it's the importance of food, how it's the bafis importance of food, how it's the basis of a health, and how we can and should eat better. i'll have an update on the continuing protests by dutch farmers as they continue to try and protect their industry against their own government. we'll ask if women are having adverse , menstrual are having adverse, menstrual and gynaecological problems relating to the pfizer job.

plus, a fantastic great britain , as usual tonight and plenty of chat with my panellists, julie cooke and lieutenant colonel stuart crawford. but first, an update on the latest news from riyadh . thanks, neal. here's the riyadh. thanks, neal. here's the latest from the gb newsroom islands . t shock. leo varadkar islands. t shock. leo varadkar says a deal on the northern ireland protocol could be made in the next few days. but there's still a gap in negotiations . it comes as the negotiations. it comes as the prime minister faces criticism after proposing a meeting between king charles and the president of the european commission. that's live on the line was due to continue talks of rishi sunak before meeting the but trip has now the king but her trip has now been cancelled . later says it been cancelled. later says it would constitute tional would have had constitute tional implications. speaking exclusively to gb news, the foreign secretary said the government was looking for cross—community support for any deal cross—community support for any deal. we remain focussed on the outcome rather than the method and the outcome is to protect

northern ireland's place