you with gb news. let's bring you the latest news headlines. jeremy hunt on budget day has vowed to encourage millions rejoin the workforce and boost britain's financial growth. in his first budget as chancellor mr. hunt said the office budget responsibility now forecasts the uk will no longer enter recession this year. instead, inflation is predicted to fall from 10.7. that's the end of last year to 2.9% by the end of 2023. well the measures in the budget include , a reduction in budget include, a reduction in duty paid draught, beer and bought in pubs . a further 12

bought in pubs. a further 12 month freeze on fuel . as well as month freeze on fuel. as well as abolishing lifetime allowance on tax free pension savings , which tax free pension savings, which was at £1 million. and the chancellor has also made moves to extend current energy price guarantee for a further three months and bring pre—payment metre charges in line with those who pay by direct debit. jeremy hunt announced an increase to defence budget worth £11 billion over the next five years and he freed the way for more women to return work. eligible households will be offered 30 hours of free childcare a week for every child the age of nine months. we have never seen before such comprehensive attempt to say that in this country , if people that in this country, if people want to work, we take away the barriers and that doesn't. if you're an older person , someone you're an older person, someone who's disabled , someone is who's disabled, someone is looking for work , a parent looking for work, a parent worried about childcare costs ,

worried about childcare costs, government is on your side if you want to. we want to help you . however leader sir keir starmer has called the budget a sticking plaster plaster . his sticking plaster plaster. his opening post was that things aren't quite as bad now as they were in october last year of the kamikaze budget and more that he pretends everything is fine and the more he shows just how of touch they are . after a third, touch they are. after a third, ten years of his government, our economy needed major. but like millions , our country. this millions, our country. this budget leaves us stuck in the waiting with only a sticking plaster to hand. sir keir starmer. what he needs away from the budget and after a banking in the united states the london stock exchange has suffered its worst losses since the start of the covid pandemic , as fears of the covid pandemic, as fears of a global banking crisis intensify here in london, the

footsie 100 closed down more than 292 points, as worldwide. banking stocks went into just days after collapse of the silicon valley bank in the states. credit suisse was one of the big players worst affected , the big players worst affected, seeing its share price drop a quarter to a new record and that coming a day . the bank had told coming a day. the bank had told investors it had failed to identify any risks in its own assessment of its financial health. now, nasser unveiled a prototype of a space suit set to be worn by the next generation of astronauts to walk on the moon's surface . it's not the moon's surface. it's not the usual white. the new black spacesuit with orange markers features light bands and, high definition cameras. it also allows for greater mobility than its predecessors . and it'll be its predecessors. and it'll be used during artemus mission which is scheduled . for 2025 . which is scheduled. for 2025. that's all the news for now. now

headune. headline. us hello i'm simon evans. welcome headune hello i'm simon evans. welcome headline news and our target today is thursday's newspapers me tonight the keys to my maverick top comedians , my maverick top comedians, my wingman, lewis schaefer and paul cox. good evening . good evening. cox. good evening. good evening. nice to see you again , lewis. nice to see you again, lewis. you're looking splendid, as always. you know what.7 you embarrass me with your good looks and your sartorial excellence. well, we've set the tone tonight , and paul is here. tone tonight, and paul is here. well. yeah, he's about for you to do. they in your sign? they don't know. we haven't got that far. yeah. okay, fair enough. listen, let's get a quick look at front pages and then we can start digging into them. the times tomorrow will be leading with waves through figures, tax burden . since the war, there is burden. since the war, there is the guardian giveaway for the 1.

that's their main takeaway from the budget. the telegraph . i the budget. the telegraph. i have swiss bank crash fear of new blow crisis and coming out of there at the races the sun . of there at the races the sun. thanks a lot drivers . £100 a thanks a lot drivers. £100 a year average after 12 p rises axed the daily express will make this work britain but a blitz spirit and brian may once again pictured with his new gong , the pictured with his new gong, the daily star. it's a long shot. the tallest jockey in the world aiming for cheltenham win . those aiming for cheltenham win. those on the front pages pages . so on the front pages pages. so let's kick things with the big news of the day. lewis the let's start with the guardian's take. well they've got a picture of hunt here and he looks like a and that's that's the thing that i love about this country. i

first came to this country the met the newspapers in america were very were very broad minded. they weren't one sided like this . oh, yeah. he was like this. oh, yeah. he was absolutely famously a nation knitted . yeah, but holding the knitted. yeah, but holding the centre back today we to ourselves we thought the new york times was like totally impartial. to be fair, the new york times to this day, i don't think carries big kind of photographs of politicians in order on the front order to exist on the front pages , they? always no pages, do they? it's always no cover newspapers . oh, no, cover in newspapers. oh, no, no, no. they've their pictures no. they've got their pictures now. going. so what you now. i'm going. so what do you think giveaway for 1. the think the giveaway for 1. the idea he's introduced idea is that he's introduced legislation. he's changed the rules on the maximum that you say for your pension the idea being to try new people to being to try and new people to remain in work even if they're enormously wealthy and can look forward feet up. forward to bring their feet up. yeah. that's because he's yeah. and that's because he's trying in the nhs this trying to keep in the nhs this is basically towards doctors. so calling them the 1. but you're saying actually are just mostly just people. yeah they're not even that important anything. think you think think that report, do you think paul think this good paul do you think this is a good i mean, a spin that the

i mean, it's a spin that the government i mean, this is the guardian. it says the give way, the 1, because they're trying to focus wealthy that is focus in on wealthy that this is all people who would all at people who would £1,000,000 it would have any sort of pension pot. well yes. i mean now it's tax free up to a million quid. it include the doctors. yeah. my own i had for years stepped away because it was going to be paying a lot more tax on his pension. more tax on his on his pension. i think this will get him i don't think this will get him back. so this is anecdotal evidence suggest that the target was correctly identified anyway so a couple so yeah we knew a couple who moved couple of moved new zealand a couple of years . they had of my years ago. they had kids of my sons go to both gp's. yeah sons go to the both gp's. yeah sons go to the both gp's. yeah so their practise they made an absolute i tell you it was suddenly like it had been a good racket. i to think 40 years racket. i had to think 40 years of to people complain of listening to people complain growing toenails, something mysterious that they couldn't quite identify . yeah well quite identify. yeah well somebody is somebody described as being the largest placebo . as being the largest placebo. well they are they're modern priest aren't they. they're the confessor anyway. paul, would you go with the telegraph . well

you go with the telegraph. well this arguably is a bigger story me than budget. obviously me than the budget. obviously now at home, the budget's a big story, but swiss bank crash stokes fears of a new global crisis and this essentially for today's purposes is around credit suisse , which is a swiss credit suisse, which is a swiss bank which . share price has bank which. share price has fallen 30% amid a sort of lack of confidence in the banking market. they shouldn't have name themselves credit suisse obviously have some people woken up to it yourself up for a full year but this is all as a knock on ripple effect from your country of origin. knock on the whistle you're. going to pick one guy. i'm going to go with knock on because it's a more dominant force to gentle yeah yeah but there is a there's a real danger here. think this real danger here. i think this story's to come a lot story's going to come a lot bigger. yeah. i don't think you can blame america. this i think it's the covid panic. it's what happens know it's not happens when you know it's not covid. this this has come covid. this is this has come off the valley the back of the silicon valley bank. reason is part bank. yeah. the reason is part which is part of the covid, which is part of the covid, which is part of the covid, which is that they put out so

much money the, in the, in much money in the, in the, in and history, much much fear, and history, much too much fear, too much money too much, no too much money which rates were low, which which went rates were low, which meant that banks couldn't meant that the banks couldn't get enough money by loaning the money because interest rates were so that i don't know how, it works. but basically i one of many we're going to hang on is anyone seen a road like . i think anyone seen a road like. i think it's quite interesting. you know roubini he's mentioned here on about paragraph 48 of the telegraph, new roubini who i remember he was nicknamed, they say, dr. for correctly predicting the 2008 financial crisis. i don't think he was he may have been nicknamed that before the financial crisis because he'd buying. i because he'd been buying. i don't think would have been don't think that would have been a fair nickname but did it was him the lib chap wasn't him and the lib dem chap wasn't it. escapes me it. whose name escapes me briefly. were the only two briefly. who were the only two david. yeah. vince cable saw david. yeah. vince cable who saw it says is this is it it coming. he says is this is it again. is a lehman brothers again. this is a lehman brothers moment on the of course moment on the hand? of course that might be just because he wants on the front pages wants to be on the front pages again. has effect on again. he has a funny effect on people. is a worry, isn't it? people. it is a worry, isn't it? it is worry. and in fact,

it is a worry. and in fact, probably big in the probably other big story in the telegraph is about sleep telegraph which is about sleep a lot of people are going to be losing sleep over this and okay and and what this is saying and what and what this is saying is so much the is that it's not so much the quality quantity of sleep quality the quantity of sleep i.e. we always about i.e. we always talk about 8 hours about the quality city hours is about the quality city of sleep quality the quality of the sleep quantity the quality of sleep quantity yeah think we've always yeah. well i think we've always known they you lose known that they say if you lose six solid sleep cycles, which are about 90 minutes each. yeah. if sorry. four which may 6 if you sorry. four which may 6 hours. that's pretty night's hours. that's a pretty night's sleep. trouble is you sleep. but the trouble is if you break those if, if you then you could you know. yeah which i did. i had i had sleep apnoea. i was waking up every 90 minutes screaming, i to see kids screaming, i want to see my kids now you're carnivore. now now you're a carnivore. now you're line. yeah, right. you're on the line. yeah, right. yeah, true. no, yeah, yes is actually true. no, they say very good for they do say very good for apnoea. is true . yeah. i apnoea. that is true. yeah. i stopped, i gave back the nhs. my, my sleep, my cpap machine. oh i had one of those machines, i was some of my brothers have. i was some of my brothers have. i am i have also noticed it's extraordinarily unwelcome news . extraordinarily unwelcome news. the reality is alcohol disturbs , sleep. i mean, i still think

it's worth drinking sometimes, but when you get a bit older, it really does because there's that moment, it departs the system and that have and your anxieties that have been slumbering in the the been slumbering in the in the alcoholic, you know, they up and been slumbering in the in the alcodream.ou know, they up and been slumbering in the in the alcodream. yeah ow, they up and been slumbering in the in the alcodream. yeah terrible. up and been slumbering in the in the alco dream. yeah terrible. isn't nd you dream. yeah terrible. isn't that so cruel. well do you know what is it? it's just alcohol. alcohol it's just fermented sugan alcohol it's just fermented sugar. it's any kind of sugar that can do this . oh, okay. so that can do this. oh, okay. so you get rid of sugar, any kind of ability to move , including of ability to move, including fermented sugar , they make they fermented sugar, they make they a separate category for alcohol or but big afternoon that's winston churchill who had a glass of wine first and kept the glow going throughout the day on the best champagne available the war. but of course he had a really long afternoon nap and would wake up with a joe as champagne wore off. it would start start again . what about start start again. what about the sun's front page ? the sun's the sun's front page? the sun's front page is . thanks lot that front page is. thanks lot that because of because basically jeremy hunt says we're not going to raise the tax on petrol which

is automatically meant to go up. yeah so basically he said we're not going to tax you. well it's a pretty rough couple of years for drivers isn't it. well couple of years now since ukraine i suppose almost exactly one year. but the price of petrol went over to price of diesel one over two one diesel one over two quit at one point. and so point. it's terrifying and so i suppose this is all relative it's not going to come very far. yeah. we're made we're made to believe. this is a good news story. yeah. it's not really, it's of status quo i think it's kind of status quo i think it's kind of status quo i think it is good that it's going it is good that it's not going up, but it's already reached a point which would been point which would have been considered unaffordable 18 months goes show months ago. it just goes to show how bend how much you can actually bend and you know how much you can take. it's a bit like this. it's a this childcare story which a bit this childcare story which on looks brilliant, on the face it looks brilliant, supporting essentially supporting mothers essentially back i feel sort back into work. but i feel sort of conflicted and uncomfortable by.the of conflicted and uncomfortable by. the fact that what they're doing mothers back doing is forcing mothers back into and also as my into work well. and also as my good friend chris from good friend chris snowden from iea know, the iea pointed out, you know, the childcare costs this country childcare costs in this country are ridiculous really high precisely because of government

tinkering, is just, you tinkering, which is just, you know, the usual thing. yeah. good. put will you try and fix things? the more you make them worse. if the market was just allowed to settle, it would be fine. be. it should fine. it should be. it should be high priced you're high priced because you're basically a very basically you should have a very good for destroying your good reason for destroying your children's that children's lives. well i of that i know i think it is. and i've seen it i've seen i've seen child care and. i it's child care and. i think it's i don't think the government should any to child should be any money to child care. that women care. i don't think that women should be working. i think they should be working. i think they should they should be staying home directly home and taking care directly into cameras i will into the cameras itself. i will say to stay on the on say this, just to stay on the on the that actually the story that we've actually got on the front pages today. that was yesterday in terms petrol. personally don't petrol. i personally i don't know a common thing, know whether is a common thing, but flogged a 2811 exactly but i flogged a 2811 car exactly a fairly new a year ago. it's a fairly new one and fuel economy is one and the fuel economy is improved so that it's improved so much that it's really offset. you know, i do think there is that too big painful cause. the painful for you cause. the economy of now is economy of cars now is extraordinary. i mean, what i can it wasn't that can run on the it wasn't that long no pretty ordinary car long ago no pretty ordinary car would to the gallon. would do about 30 to the gallon. yeah you'd expect it wouldn't

you. yeah. because it was $0.70 a things a gallon. exactly. so things never were. me finish never were. let me just finish off our friends at the off quickly. our friends at the daily star poll, it's long daily star poll, it's a long shot. is talking about shot. this is talking about a foot four jockey who will be racing at cheltenham. racing tomorrow at cheltenham. now of now that's twice the size of your jockey, i'd imagine your average jockey, i'd imagine the foot four. that's what the six foot four. that's what he he's going to be as he says. he's going to be as successful he's going to be successful and he's going to be touching the ground. he's to be running a complete stones running like a complete stones car. see. i he's going to car. they see. i he's going to be cheating little wheels on the points of his toes . i mean good points of his toes. i mean good on him but you know he's not going to win is an extraordinarily thin wiry and bony because well well it's the thing rather than the height. is it the shows it. yeah because i all the way up out seven or eight stone. i mean this is why there essentially just the, you know, horse driving know, the horse is self driving animals, aren't the animals, aren't they. the jockeys much, you know, jockeys pretty much, you know, so these horses so the kentucky these horses often the grand national. often win the grand national. i know slightly different know it's a slightly different position cheltenham cup position than cheltenham go cup but touching the but he's he will be touching the ground. i saw him and i said this is some sort of cheating everything to know about everything you to know about

testicles page of testicles on the front page of the but we've run out of the star but we've run out of time. that's the front pages all blown coming after the blown up. coming up after the break, treasury break, we've got treasury comedians, about the comedians, a story about the police. well, we'll see. how many do we made for the many times do we made for the word and shape? that's word framing and shape? that's right. about every right. a story about shape every night. you in a couple night. we'll see you in a couple of minutes minutes. there's help for households. are you over state pension age? if your weekly income is below £182.60, or £278.70 if you live with a partner, you could be eligible

for pension credit, even if you own your home or have savings. it's worth, on average, £3,500 a year and you could get help with heating bills and more, plus up to £900 in cost of living payments.

welcome back . headline welcome back. headline is welcome back . headline is with welcome back. headline is with me, simon evans joining me tonight. we have six symbols. lucia laffer drum, cymbal, paul cox . so used to be lucia laffer drum, cymbal, paul cox. so used to be paul lucia laffer drum, cymbal, paul cox . so used to be paul lewis cox. so used to be paul lewis was the it was the target of my and promoted i turn so good so great. i look well the nice tie was small bbc brouhaha ha now is whatsapp are being used to sort of present government meddling as if it's some of i don't know

what exactly is the story it's quite hard to you know what you sit. exactly. i'm glad you said that and i'm going to say what this is and that i'm not criticise izing the people who put these stories up. us. no, what i'm criticising that this is is that it says is a non—story is that it says that they're troubling messages showing. pressure on showing. number ten, pressure on bbc investigating and this bbc need investigating and this guy rob burley , was the editor guy rob burley, was the editor in charge of political programmes of said that programmes of the bbc said that there was pressure from downing street not to use the word lock to his word long term, which is nothing . which is nothing. and nothing. which is nothing. and the fact is, let's the bbc was a private news organisation. the government could call them up and say, hey can you not use that thing that we you know, i mean, this pretend did you stop interrupting it's usually interrupting me? it's usually that the pretence that the government present government the present government the present government of india in invented this kind of india alastair campbell maybe before you arrived country. arrived in this country. alastair campbell yeah, i do that. would even at that. he would even like stop at that. he would even like stop at that , you know. that. he would even like stop at that, you know. yeah. do you think okay. do you think that

winston churchill didn't call up the daily mirror the time or the daily mirror at the time or lord rothermere? however, these people listen, can people and say, hey, listen, can you mention not you not mention can you not mention this? of mention this? of course, of course. was done. this is course. it was done. this is this this is how the news this is how this is how the news is. it goes both ways. problem with the bbc is that is a bbc. we no we are not even from we have no we are not even from this country. you shouldn't this country. but you shouldn't have. don't? should i'm have. we don't? should we? i'm sorry interrupting. you sorry for interrupting. do you know jon sopel well not personally. are you referring . personally. are you referring. to you he is he and emily maitlis recently left the bbc, newsnight and with an edit and they this is called the news they do. this is called the news notes, which i think is funded by abc. but | notes, which i think is funded by abc. but i might be wrong, but think they're to but i think they're attached to it something he is it or something and he is described this is not a good look just is the look which just think is the lamest criticism can make of anything. name is something anything. his name is something annoys nothing annoys you but there's nothing with not a good noble with it is not a good noble exactly yeah i'm not a good look john so not a good look paul we stay with whatsapp messages. they're trying to use them as means budget news means of releasing budget news to make it look as if it's a leak. oh yes, exactly. i think it says even the treasury is now

raising matt . so what they're raising matt. so what they're referring to is less than 2 hours after mr. hunt stood up in the house of commons and delivered his budget, the treasury's twitter treasury's official twitter account started sending out tweets of policy, sort of tongue in cheek video that made it look as if the were leaking whatsapp messages like matt hancock screen. yeah so they were like you know, i mean matt hancock's now become the whipping boys and he, you know, if jeremy hunt is taking mickey out of you, you are at the bottom of the order now. you are a beta. yes, you absolutely are happy to feel lucky. boy hancock , i find it lucky. boy hancock, i find it quite cringe when . people, quite cringe when. people, governments, anyone tries to something like that and make it look as if a genuine meeting brainstorm was going on without having sense of humour. if you've got the onion someone to write that or private eye it could been quite funny. could have been quite funny. you'd have three actual sort of suggestions that being suggestions that were being thrown the budget thrown around within the budget meeting and somebody would be going, or going, how about we tax goats or something. mean , and that's

something. i mean, and that's where funny comes from. where the funny comes from. there there's there isn't any funny. there's no they said they've used no funny. they said they've used it as a way of attacking, but they've completely the they've completely missed the opportunity it like opportunity to make it feel like a funny meeting, why a funny meeting, you know. why would matt . matt would they attack matt. matt hancock he so any is one of them yeah. hancock well he's not they want to distance themselves him because he's allowed because he's, he's allowed himself to become this. of course he's say escape right now. is it. yeah. you know he was the tent, now he's out in was in the tent, now he's out in the it's opportunity. i the tent and it's opportunity. i mean, he mean, he was remiss. he absolutely remiss to these messages to get out. i know it was under an but yeah , we was under an nda, but yeah, we should in as well. should never give in as well. okay absolutely not. on the other hand, he shouldn't have gone on. i'm a celebrity i know he's basically self he's he's inflicted on himself. jeremy clarkson inflict clarkson wanted to inflict meghan markle he is now through the streets of london. well he shouldn't inflict inflicted on the people. there's a covid pandemic lewis now time newspaper according to linked in a third of office workers would actually quit if they had to go to the and do some work. well

that's what they say. that's what they say. and it is printed. and it is in research done linkedin, which is done by linkedin, which is a change asking people if change website asking people if they've considered a job change there on the website. of course , considering a job, this is true. nevertheless it does seem that people are increasingly to stay home. you know, whatever stay at home. you know, whatever , because increasingly just , because increasingly it's just inclined to stay at home. but are going to quit their are they going to quit their jobs during possibly a or at least some huge inflationary. funny remember we've funny enough, remember we've talked and their nice talked about gp's and their nice little packages, remember little packages, but remember guardian had a page a few guardian had a front page a few years ago said something years ago that said something like gp's. are you like a third of gp's. are you know are considering their future . obviously you know of future. obviously you know of course they'll that you know because well i might, i might resign . yeah. you know i'm know resign. yeah. you know i'm know i'm considering my future here on this channel you're considering your future whether you get to, to waaf we're both just grimly holding out for retirement at this point . but retirement at this point. but paul has a few. well i've got a couple years left i hope. i mean the story here is that the horse

bolted. cultures bolted. yeah, the cultures changed. the pandemic led us to this point. there is three years where and not forget that where and let's not forget that it's certain section of it's only a certain section of the working for that's able to do this. yes. but that horse is well gone and we proved the principle over three years that it works using an equine metaphor and you know, but you know something, you're wrong, paul know something, you're wrong, paul. it bolted in and in the article it even says it even quotes the guy the richest guy in the richest place and the big business and whatever , whatever. business and whatever, whatever. larry larry said, these guys these are rich guys saying it doesn't work nice and saying plus they get their love for their vacuum cleaner this yeah not just a challenge that's slightly the employers want this as well they're selling off real estate lowest they want to read you know they got million pound rents a month in central london they no longer need also shops high streets it has impacted those i mean sandwich shops that around the offices in london are now no longer there you often you know i was only in london

recently looking my favourite sandwich shop squamish and it's no longer there because on the handi no longer there because on the hand i live in hove and i have noficed hand i live in hove and i have noticed a bit of an uptick in some quite nice sort of internet cafe type culture that kind cafe type culture and that kind of so people are not of thing. so people are not working from home, they're working from home, they're working within metres working from within 100 metres of but they go into of their home, but they go into the local business need employees them employees to an eye on them because. because people don't want people are want to work because people are lazy lazy. thursdays may lazy they're lazy. thursdays may ill again paul we've seen employee of the month we've seen sandwich of the month time rosaries. well we go rosaries. well here we go furious, plans to furious, matt. police plans to spend £440,000 on aiming certificates to recognise and reward office officers in a bid boost morale. now, this isn't new. i don't know how aware you guys of this, but across all this has been going on now about ten years. it feels like where you are rewarding. you're saying to people a pat on the back, it's a lot cheaper. it's a lot cheaper than increasing their salaries. wouldn't mind if somebody most of the somebody put up most of the month the behind why month on the wall behind why not? what you get, what you get

in return a £30 voucher for goes right. a certificate that isn't simon brilliant. so all your colleagues can see. but after three years this, everyone's three years of this, everyone's got certificate on the wall got a certificate on the wall and it doesn't any and it doesn't make any difference. you've got to move on. the on. yeah, but how much? the question is it? it's question is how much is it? it's costing a fortune, which the four. and for that with no go on, go on. come on. it's costing £440,000 for 44,000 officers. and i did the math. i'm a jew. it's only £10. and i knew as you wore £10, but i offered you. but i can cope with like orders of magnitude. yeah. full four. exactly. it's nothing . it's exactly. it's nothing. it's a fortune. it's 53 to 30, tilting two grand a year each and a salary be a lot more, making a lot , you know, really rewarding lot, you know, really rewarding people with this stuff are you that's you are people want a little plaque i want well it's nice but i'd much rather i think people like a big tub of celebrations out on a friday

afternoon and you get to host it because you deal the when my kids were at school yeah they when it was their birthday they took in the cake and so you get the nice fit instead you could have done it the other way round his birthday. tomorrow we're going get him yeah going to get him a cake yeah your kid takes in the cake distributes cake to everyone right, becomes more popular, enjoys the of giving, you enjoys the gift of giving, you know, get giving diabetes . know, they get giving diabetes. so you could take it as making these kids fresh lives . also these kids fresh lives. also finishing this section with the independent calls for campaign of genocide in the lakes and scottish highlands . well, this scottish highlands. well, this is this is one of those stories. there's a there's a death to animals people . they don't do animals people. they don't do that to humans. they don't want us to eat animals. this guy, ben , who's the brother of somebody, and also the jack goldsmith , i and also the jack goldsmith, i think also the brother of think he's also the brother of the other woman is in the other goes. yeah imran khan and comes from a long line of money like massive money he's said that

that that this a defra adviser which is the of frauds know what it farming and ritual ritual agriculture . he says that sheep agriculture. he says that sheep should be banned from all farms they get rid of sheep because isn't the people that people are eating that much and it takes up a lot of space it's not the space you should do the space and you should do the reading. it's the problem with sheep is they do create a nibbled environment. you know, if to lake district if you go to the lake district looks gorgeous because we used to reality is that to it but the reality is that been covered in trees it could been covered in trees it could be of foliage of be covered in sort of foliage of one it could, but it's one another. it could, but it's the and foxes we need the rangers and foxes we need food food. the food. and the best food. the best food is lamb. lamb is called land. the salmon land. salmon, because it's high in omega grade language. you you you go look it up. wait, wait, wait. i'm going to something that's not enough. this whole i mean, i must i agree with simon in the sense i've done a lot of walking and you will see of the british countryside it is acres

and acres of this flat green grass created by sheep. grass that was created by sheep. i sheep are the i don't think sheep are the problem. i mean, at one point he says in here that sheep are not nafive says in here that sheep are not native to britain, they native to britain, but they came across not native to his across i'm not native to his native. exactly. you native. yeah, well, exactly. you know, across before know, they came across before theice know, they came across before the ice age, i don't know. we obviously them across at obviously brought them across at some point. they probably came from cope with from asia seemed to cope with this and now i understand they look a bit sorry for themselves in weather i think in the weather i think they cope. one open to the idea cope. one i'm open to the idea maybe we should look at some other subsidised. i personally think the future of british agriculture is tourism. i just think would money. think we would make more money. we all in on making the we just go all in on making the british countryside, like british countryside, look like a thomas hardy. oh, if you want to be able fill any amount of be able to fill any amount of victorian, georgian like victorian, georgian or even like to, know, why don't we to, to, you know, why don't we say because have say something? because i have a joke. all meeting now the joke. go all meeting now the future for british agriculture is tourism. what are we going eat? the foreigners there we thank you. that's part two completed with aplomb coming up we have a non—binary bias bison policing of parents. would you like child to start school

like your child to start school at 5:30 am? we'll see you in a moment .

welcome back to headline is where we're still talking meat . where we're still talking meat. we have move on paul thursday's mail now if you're young and black in san francisco you might be about to be gifted. there's a lottery. i think san francisco residents lined up at the city board meeting last night to share their full throated support of a wide eyed reparations plan. essentially what they're offering , simon all what they're offering, simon all they're asking for really is $5 million per black in san francisco , authentic descendant francisco, authentic descendant of slavery , right? yes, yes, of slavery, right? yes, yes, yes. and 90,000 a year. and for a dollar. now, this , you know, i a dollar. now, this, you know, i appreciate and i'll throw this context around it. i'm a white

guy about this. this doesn't apply to me however it poses. so many questions for me. i mean , many questions for me. i mean, where do we begin? where does it end? you know, who receives it? how much do they receive ? how how much do they receive? how far have they announced go? they did have a list of criteria, but easily unworkable, obviously. but exactly . and, you know, it but exactly. and, you know, it doesn't it doesn't take into account how far. but you should go, because at some point they could have been slave owners themselves. know slave themselves. you know the slave trade with trade didn't start and end with african people i suppose. african black people i suppose. i haven't got time to i mean, we haven't got time to do it really to do to justice, the arguments for and against reparations. what this reparations. but what this does strike example of strike me as just an example of absurd well, absurd virtue. well, not signalling, is pretend signalling, actually, is pretend politics, isn't it? because there is a board of people in san francisco who have the remit of listening to these kind of petitions and making some sort of decisions. there's only one african—american on that board of 11. right? well, that was a detail spotted rather than perhaps, you know, maybe served like encouraged absurd fantasies

about san francisco bankrupting the entire country by presenting $5 million. they could just have a little bit more representation the board i'd like to no no no no you're saying this is nothing this is something this is a major deal that maybe this won't go through . but this is actually go through. but this is actually how a tremendously large percentage white people in america feel. they feel. and that's something we're going to give it back. the australian song about the you know and they didn't give it back. they will and eventually they will this is very, very you think they'll give land to aboriginal give back land to the aboriginal people australia. i don't. i people in australia. i don't. i think will help me think eventually will help me this century. they will. and then going to they're then they're going to they're going because going to do this here because they've like reparation for they've i'd like reparation for my stolen when was 12 my bicycle stolen when was 12 years old. well to be fair the jews probably people jews probably the only people who have achieved who actually have achieved something approaching reparation. no i don't think we have yeah you have for israel. yeah what you want something. waiting. want or something. i'm waiting. be paid for my descendants. the pyramids. but the i'm waiting

for the egyptians to say where's my much money now the pyramids and gold has been taken and all the gold has been taken off times. next off top, lowest of times. next and it looks like the greatest polymath genius in history was the son of slave. and, well, the son of a slave. and, well, let him back. to fair. you let him back. to be fair. you know what? i've never the word polymath, and i'm going to polymath, and i'm not going to start but professor, start here. but professor, because people know because people don't know what name does a lot of name is a guy who does a lot of different things. leonardo da vinci research , shows vinci it says research, shows that his mother was a slave . and that his mother was a slave. and this guy, carlos, that she was a professor, naples university, he did little and found out did a little. and he found out that that his leonardo vinci's mother was a slave from the caucasus right. so he wasn't really fully italian . no. so he really fully italian. no. so he wasn't italian. and that's what the big deal is to the italians, i guess they want to bring themselves down a little while . themselves down a little while. father italian. they have father is italian. they have done a lot research on done quite a lot of research on him they've managed to him lately. they've managed to trace all trace genealogical these dna all the back, but not to him. the way back, but not to him. but he i think, 20 or 25 but he had, i think, 20 or 25 half brothers. the father was, a bit a rake. and they've to bit of a rake. and they've to trace his y chromosome all the

way back, which is pretty extraordinary, i think the possibility actually cloning possibility of actually cloning leonardo a bit leonardo ever a little bit closer , which is what this story closer, which is what this story misses slightly. i think da vinci himself the genius the story. in today's society story. yeah in today's society in context the fact that he is born of a slave half italian is a victim in some way that's big news as part of today's context , but it kind of throws out the fact that despite all of that, he was genius. well, we will always he was illegitimate and it's long been known that there was a very cost and think was a very low cost and think there a there was an attempt there was a there was an attempt to elevate his status. to kind of elevate his status. i think freed or something afterwards. and this is this is the proof have was the proof they have there was a not sure how it was signed or something but yeah, he absolutely the look. absolutely came from the look. it's much shakespeare, of it's very much shakespeare, of course, around there have course, around whom there have always conspiracy theories course, around whom there have alwa couldn't:onspiracy theories course, around whom there have alwa couldn't possiblyy theories course, around whom there have alwa couldn't possibly have)ries . he couldn't possibly have written because he written those plays because he wasn't always said wasn't wasn't is always said he wasn't . he wasn't of . the point is he wasn't of noble stock, you know, how could he have been capable he possibly have been capable that when he from that genius when he came from such you know ,

such genetically, you know, unexciting, exciting, like that? i'd like these stories because it kind of i don't know, it doesn't deliberately it but it's like it's taking sheen off. yeah and you know, he's the he's the story, the genius. well, be great. the cloning. it says more about us today is that you basically like to find out that his mother was black. that's what they want. but he's not black. a slave is sort of similar and we don't know where the caucasus was, but i assume it's of caucasian i suppose that is the caucasus. question is that's the caucasus. question so. he certainly is. he couldn't be less emphatically for his magically not quite whole binary bison this. yeah netflix has quietly cancelled a woke animated show for children and do you know what i was thinking about this. i think they're making a fuss about this because it is you know, it's a gender story is a sexuality. i watched i was brought up on eighties tv children's yeah that were kind of way out there you know there

was there were 70 hangovers and there was the 80 stuff as well, but not once gender or race or sexuality ever focus of any of the stories . and the stories the stories. and the stories were generally a lot of things were generally a lot of things were fantasy or fun. yeah. were fantasy or about fun. yeah. and that's why things like this don't succeed. not because it's not a book, not because it's a sexual or sorry gender neutral , sexual or sorry gender neutral, but because they're trying to set an agenda. because that's that's if you start off with the agenda and that's you're trying to sell to the kids, then not interested anyways. us adults are trying force this on are trying to force this on children i mean, to be honest, children. i mean, to be honest, they're absolute hideous as well. look at the outcome that is an absolute nightmare. they will all get bullied at school. bison live with somebody in a spacemen outfit doesn't make any sense. where are the adults now? was talks a big? let's go to was the talks a big? let's go to thursday's mirror. sounds thursday's mirror. it sounds like have harder at like kids have a lot harder at school as well. yeah well, school now as well. yeah well, as school threatens to send police round the children's home if a day and if kids miss a school day and this doesn't even sound like

news to me, because i remember when kid had truant when was a kid we had truant officers, my own father . officers, right? my own father. gee, officer krupke, was it true , officer? oh, really ? there's , officer? oh, really? there's early days. yeah, before that. just what he told you. because well, he did tell me that he couldn't stay at home all day, making sure he went because he was always chasing after children children . he was he was children children. he was he was out on the all day long doing nothing was. he seriously there? yeah, he was seriously before he before he became what he became. i know you could have turned officers, i suppose, in shooting the feels like slight the police. feels like a slight escalation. the escalation. but what is the police coming do with an arrest? the parents? i have friend who the parents? i have a friend who lives in the north—east don't lives up in the north—east don't think show, but think he watches this show, but if had to call his job, he if you had to call his job, he works for the council and his job is to up on people who job is to check up on people who home schooling kids to, home schooling their kids to, make they're actually make sure that they're actually home and home schooling their and not allowing to play truant. allowing them to play truant. i mean, that's a you know, an official function, you know i mean, he's not exactly the police. he's he's capable of calling them in. what is certainly for children certainly important for children

to be in my daughter , to be in school. my daughter, who's was school who's a teenager was off school today and today's today on strike. and in today's contact, is a precedent contact, there is a precedent because these strikes called because these strikes are called last teachers going to last minute teachers going to school. one's chasing school. no one's chasing them off i know off and arresting them. i know they shouldn't it's probably a they shouldn't. it's probably a bad point. oh, they should. they, thought absolute they, i thought an absolute catastrophe befallen catastrophe you have befallen your you know, your daughter. you know, she go to today and toaster in to school today and toaster in the bus. i'm god. no oh, good. oh, finally , quarters of the way oh, finally, quarters of the way through the show, we have a story i do know something about. we're still on the nature of schooling and children yeah, parents in indonesia outrage by firefight schools trial now firefight in schools trial now i would be outraged by this as well, to be honest. i mean, that there's a pilot in kupang, which is the capital of east nusa in the tenggara of indonesia and it's you were laughing because i managed to get all of that out and i pronounce it well as well. it was quite impressive. you're making me look bad. i was going to go it and went for it and to go for it and went for it and i committed. but what saying is, you know, they believe instilling discipline these instilling discipline in these

children. just said, children. now, like i just said, i've year old. if i woke i've a 13 year old. if i woke her up at 530 in the morning, the only one getting disciplined is it wouldn't be is me. it wouldn't be a discipline issue. there are i have three with this. have three problems with this. one, barely up late one, i barely stay up late enough, get my kids off to school importantly enough, get my kids off to schc more importantly enough, get my kids off to schc more seriously,mportantly enough, get my kids off to schc more seriously, kids'tantly enough, get my kids off to schcmore seriously, kids ,antly and more seriously, kids, different body clocks than us. it well understood, teenagers it is well understood, teenagers need up later. the need to get up later. the national it's already to national earlier it's already to make them go to school at 9 am. well we to get out into school for 8 am. that is really working against grey's anatomy at have at that they have taken a different kind of hormonal rhythm they need more rhythm they need they need more sleep. yeah. they need nine and a hours sleep. i daily. you a half hours sleep. i daily. you really should be taking them a half hours sleep. i daily. you real|schoolld be taking them a half hours sleep. i daily. you real|school around king them a half hours sleep. i daily. you real|school around mid—morning. into school around mid—morning. you and you know, would be fine. and i you get a lot better results in most of school, most of the school system we is a long do over overhaul is a hangover from 19th century the summer holidays. we all know we're only really there to have the kids help to get the harvest in. i mean, you know, with the sheep doing all that work for us now in day anyway, that's it in this day anyway, that's it for election coming. up in

for this election coming. up in the final freaking section, we've employees, clock we've got ghost employees, clock illiterates cocaine . illiterates and the cocaine. perfect. we'll see you in 2 minutes .

and welcome back to headline is kicking off thursday guarding and now louis finally the future here robot delivery droids only three known graduate level jobs remain yeah i mean this is not even going to be jobs in this country because the co—op hires delivery droids to drop groceries in greater manchester and. there's a free fridge sized self drive robots from a company called star chip technology will walk the customers how it's in sale which found that is past the stretford end sale is part of manchester although it is an extraordinarily appropriate place to prototype sales

sexology is using a lot of this whether they will do that there there they are shall we can we see on the screen. oh, wow. they look quite cute. they they don't walk. they're on wheels. the they're secure because this i mean this usually with technology like this technology also things like this could work course could never work and of course it does it becomes the it does work and it becomes the future but the idea of a free going round in one of these boxes in any in city. is it boxes in any in a city. is it food. it's food. it's grocery delivery, know. so basically delivery, you know. so basically you see one of those and you're hungry. yeah you're just going to i mean, you to stop it on the i mean, you can stop that, i doubt that can stop that, but i doubt that it's can stop that, but i doubt that ifs and can stop that, but i doubt that it's and the only thing it's open and the only thing that be remembered is that has to be remembered is that has to be remembered is that every one of things that every one of these things has somewhere looking at has a guy somewhere looking at it so you're going to it looking so you're going to say yeah like . just say inside it yeah like. just just we just been talking about star wars. yeah. is it. yeah. well it is looks like a kind of a star wars thing. yeah. and so there's going to be they say that it's not going be this, but they're going to put but they're going have cameras the going to have cameras in the front and that

front and the back that someone's going to be going to be like drones, like people flying the drones. they're not it they it on their own. i think they might have police, might have to have like police, you know, private enterprise, police force, basically stop people, say , know, just people, as you say, know, just following around . but i mean, following it around. but i mean, i'm not just saying this because it's in manchester, but there is a cost of living crisis. essentially, is a free food essentially, this is a free food dnven essentially, this is a free food driven around the town. we're turning african turning into that south african sci live it where sci film. we live it where there's there's an there's a kind of there's an underclass live on the underclass who live on the street that kind of like street and that kind of like comes in out of the hills in italia always deliver the food to the wealthy people mean it feels plausibly feels very plausibly like something robocop something out of robocop whatever it is i'm not i mean this is try to get i think big vans the road and things vans off the road and things like well like that. yeah. oh well hopefully encourage people hopefully will encourage people to home when stay to do more home when they stay at home to work and their children stay at home and everyone just stays at home forever. paul staying with techno, daily stars techno, yeah, in the daily stars 25 late. but it seems that 25 years late. but it seems that the against the machines is the war against the machines is finally apparently. finally here. yeah, apparently. i an chatbot is i mean, an ai chatbot is reportedly tricked, a human into doing yes which

doing its work for it. yes which we all knew. we knew this was didn't we. if you wanted to define the singularity that would be part of this . so i open would be part of this. so i open ai research , just ask the latest ai research, just ask the latest version of pti gpt. sorry to fill in a captcha form , which is fill in a captcha form, which is essentially they've gone. i can't this because i'm blind. can you do it for me and the human has done it because we would do it because polite and we've got you know we've got amanda run this is just the start though isn't it. yeah. if they can trick us because they were just playing on our sensibilities sensibilities, they're never going to have, they're never going to have, they're not going to teach them to the emotions that we've to have the emotions that we've got. talking them got. i'm talking about them as they're system. so a they're a racist system. so a friend of tom chivers, friend of mine, tom chivers, wrote book, still good book, i wrote a book, still good book, i think about a.i. in the think to read about a.i. in the future. he said machine is future. he said the machine is not trying you and that not trying kill you and that that's title to reassure that's the title to reassure you. was it you. but the subtitle was it just doesn't care either way. exactly. that's thing. exactly. and that's the thing. they're utterly indifferent. they're utterly indifferent. they're just ruthless, you they're just more ruthless, you know, hitler look like

know, to make hitler look like he troubled he was, like, troubled by it because think they have because think because they have no basically they no conscience, basically they like obviously, like women. but obviously, i suppose is, they suppose the point is, do they have an objective that was a joke. go going. no, they joke. yes. go going. no, they have. right right. have. it's right there. right. it's not where you get it . where it's not where you get it. where the community is the worst audience. all right. i didn't hear it. sorry i said they have no conscience. okay like, oh, like women. yeah, like women. anyway, at anyway, louis schafer at twitter. here's the point . it twitter. here's the point. it was the point they . they asked was the point they. they asked the chat t the captcha says are you a robot. yeah. okay and the chat gb t lied and said in. no it was clever, it knew , it it was clever, it knew, it couldn't lie because it's programmed to play . no it programmed to play. no it couldn't, it couldn't could what. it could do is trick somebody else into doing it. yeah. they it yeah. now because they said it was blind which effectively is because it got you. it knew it was a robot. rather than was a robot. so rather than going oh no good answer that passed to us, somebody has been programmed bill gates. so it programmed by bill gates. so it can't lie. we that it's can't lie. we know that it's just that's true his just been show. that's true his captive. just asking. i am not a

robot. is that. that's all it is. that's it is. it's not pictures. according to the it seems ghost worker has been seems a ghost worker has been busted in this is a this busted in brazil this is a this is a tragic question it's really going lock him well thing going to lock him up. well thing is like this guy from is it's like this guy from brazil. he pocketed £780,000, which is probably a $950,000 or something in real, real money in wages , despite skipping to full wages, despite skipping to full time for 19 years, he was working for the for the ministry of health . and then he became in of health. and then he became in readmission there. then he became an auxiliary nurse five years later in, san antonio de padua , which at the same time, padua, which at the same time, at the same time didn't. would you let me finish this ball? i'm sorry, louis did talk to me about this previously. and you too, talking to the risk. people think get on with it. people think get on with it. people think that i don't the who is 2 seconds the resume the guy doesn't show up for it's a

government job how do you know he wasn't doing a good by not showing up maybe they didn't want him to show up if they wanted him to show up, they should us think should have made us think earlier they shouldn't earlier. and they shouldn't demand the money now. i think he's a genius. yeah, not a he's a genius. yeah, he's not a genius. government is bad. genius. the government is bad. and check and once if don't check on somebody's then you have somebody's work, then you have no to come back . okay, no right to come back. okay, well , am i no right to come back. okay, well, am i right? of course. louis called idiot, who's now in the metro . depressing evidence the metro. depressing evidence that we're sliding slowly back. oh, man . you know what? i didn't oh, man. you know what? i didn't believe this was true. really but it is. it did a little bit more research on my own. one of six living in the uk six people living in the uk admit to tell the time unless a digital clock. now one of the lines made me laugh a little bit further article said. further down. the article said. people have to look the people say they have to look the big hands and small hand big hands and the small hand figure i thought, well, figure it out. i thought, well, thatis figure it out. i thought, well, that is how it was exactly how it works and that's us it works and that's how us intelligent do as well. intelligent people do as well. but to fair and but there is to be fair and i don't know clock it is more don't know clock it is a more complex thing than we really we've when we're we've internalised when we're young. we take for

young. yes and we take it for granted but there is something quite goes on also quite subtle goes on and also it's that now there it's true to say that now there are a lot less of analogue around of anything. everything's digital now. everything you'll put has got put in front of has got a digital time on it. yeah. and you know, i'm sure it's true. children my daughter tell children my daughter can tell you daughter . children my daughter can tell you daughter. your you and your daughter. your daughter. how is your spatial ? daughter. how is your spatial? well, my kids as good as his kids . i don't trust them. now kids. i don't trust them. now this this show is basically i was actually shocked because . was actually shocked because. yeah. because it said it said it said fixing a puncture on a bike . 32% had problems fixing a puncture on a bike. yeah. that's a really low number. nobody fixed. nobody fixes a puncture on a new certainly i genuinely take to the bike shop i mean i can do it. it's an hour and i'm likely to skin my thumb. you know the last thing get and they say ironing clothes i don't see anybody ironing clothes anymore and i'm very good at it but most people so basically it's people do it so basically it's just the way world is. it is a

shame though, because i do think there's something quite fascinating about the way we manage to do things. i mean, ironing closes, that's a that's a skill a manual. the conceptual skill where to map to where you manage to map to different metrics to different , different metrics to different, you know, the hours and the minutes and the second on top of each other. there are two different speeds and understand that information in one go. it's actually quite a nice trip. yeah it's you look it's extraordinary when you look back used to be to back how people used to be to calculate prices in pound shillings and pence and then up. yeah i know there's one person around 100 you could do that. now we've got one last story very quickly. there is a cat that not just milo's, it's that is not just milo's, it's living basically cocaine living basically it's cocaine cat rehabbing a zoo moves the feline they feline ambassador program they found cat tree and in a in found cat in a tree and in a in a town in in ohio and. but the cat wasn't just a regular cat. it was it was something called a serval cat, which is it just switches and sets like a wildcat . it was a wild he was wild ohio and had cocaine in the system . i

and had cocaine in the system. i didn't find out how they found out that there was i wonder whether he had cocaine in its system when it chose that coat. yeah, that's all we have for this gentleman. let's have another quick look at thursday's front pages times hunt waives through biggest tax burden since the war. the guardian giveaway for the 1% that's about pensions the telegraph swiss bank stocks fear of new global the sun tax a lot drivers save £100 a year average up to $0.12 rise is axed. the star it's a long shot the tories in the world is aiming for a cheltenham . that's aiming for a cheltenham. that's all for our show tonight . thank all for our show tonight. thank you to my guest lewis and paul cox . don't interrupt. lewis cox. don't interrupt. lewis headliners who'll be back tomorrow at 11 with andrew doyle doyle leo kearse and stephen adler. there it is , dream team. adler. there it is, dream team. remember if you're watching the 5 am, repeat, stay for the breakfast show just after the break. sleep well. see you again next. week. all the best. goodnight .

there's help for households. are you over state pension age? if your weekly income is below £182.60, or £278.70 if you live with a partner, you could be eligible for pension credit, even if you own your home or have savings. it's worth, on average, £3,500 a year and you could get help with heating bills and more, plus up to £900 in cost of living payments.

it's wednesday night and this is for your spring budget special one from doncaster . please one from doncaster. please welcome your host, nigel sara. yesterday evening his father was an officer on this train. but today we're going to look for them from the crowd. the coroner obviously new ideas about getting on to them. and we'll finish off with a former player manager of doncaster rovers all aboutin manager of doncaster rovers all about in just a moment. but first, let's get the news with polly middlehurst .

first, let's get the news with polly middlehurst. nigel thank you and good evening to you. well it's been budget day today and jeremy hunt has vowed to encourage millions of people to rejoin the workforce and boost to britain's financial growth in his first budget as chancellor mr. hunt said the office for budget responsibility now forecasts the uk will no longer enter a recession this year. instead, inflation is predicted to fall from 10.7% at the end of last to 2.9% by the end of 2023. let's take you through the key points. well measures include a reduction in duty paid on draught beer and cider, bought in pubs . a further 12 month in pubs. a further 12 month freeze on fuel duty . also freeze on fuel duty. also abolishing the lifetime allowance on tax free pension savings, which was at £1 million, pounds and also coming up in the list that the budget the chancellor put forward today . he suggested extending the current energy price guarantee