good evening. i'm tatiana sanchez with your latest headunes sanchez with your latest headlines from the newsroom some breaking news in the last half an hour, the first asylum seekers could be flown from the uk , rwanda by the summer. that's uk, rwanda by the summer. that's according to a home office source. suella braverman has . source. suella braverman has. there's every possibility government can move quickly on. the matter. she's been touring a new housing development in the country's kigali that will become longer term accommodation refugees. she's warned government could still leave the european court of human rights if it cannot forward with the plan to tackle small boats crisis. now, due to legal challenges since the partnership was announced in april last

yean was announced in april last year, no asylum flights have left the uk for . year, no asylum flights have left the uk for. but year, no asylum flights have left the uk for . but the year, no asylum flights have left the uk for. but the home secretary says rapid progress is being progress is being made rapidly and. i'm really confident on the back of the progress i've seen here in kigali that we will be able to operationalise this world leading agreement very , very leading agreement very, very soon. the big point is that there will be a package of high quality humanitarian support for people will be relocated to rwanda that combined with our robust new laws, will be able will enable us to break business model of the people , gangs. model of the people, gangs. meanwhile, thousands people across the country took to the today to protest against racism. the demonstration has been partly organised in response , partly organised in response, the government's illegal migration . marches were held in migration. marches were held in london , glasgow and cardiff this london, glasgow and cardiff this afternoon . one demonstrator afternoon. one demonstrator signed . no human being is

signed. no human being is illegal . donald trump says he illegal. donald trump says he expects to be arrested on tuesday and writing on his site truth social. he called on supporters to protest and take nafion supporters to protest and take nation back. the manhattan attorney's office is likely to bnng attorney's office is likely to bring charges against the former us president over an alleged hush money payment made to the aduh hush money payment made to the adult film star stormy daniels in the run up to the 2016 election. no former president has ever criminally charged. trump, who has been impeached twice , says the attorney's twice, says the attorney's office is corrupt and highly political . and the snp's chief political. and the snp's chief executive has resigned with immediate effect . it follows immediate effect. it follows reports peter murrell , who's reports peter murrell, who's also nicola sturgeon's husband , also nicola sturgeon's husband, was facing the threat of a vote . no confidence following a row over the party's membership numbers . in a over the party's membership numbers. in a statement he said that while was no intent to mislead, he accepts that that has been the outcome. michael russell will the operation of

the snp headquarters in the interim . tv online and dab the interim. tv online and dab the radio. this is news that was over the headlines headlines . over the headlines headlines. hello and. welcome to headliners. i am simon evans making a highly saturday evening appearance and welcome to headune appearance and welcome to headline news joining me to take you through some these top news stories we have to headline favourites the golden boy lewis shaffer and acceptable representative the feminine half of the equation chris wetton our debut together chris i understand been here regularly over the weekends i have we just collided so this will be a very interesting have collided with lewis quite recent colliding words i'm surprised they didn't put me in the middle actually

and want to say for wednesday and i want to say for wednesday i to apologise for i want to apologise to you for over talking in messing up over talking you in messing up the thing. so i brought the whole thing. so i brought you oh, bless you a little present. oh, bless . how sweet i consensus a roll of tape of some sort there is a roll of tape i'm going to i'm going to investigate that when we hit the next ad break. but in the meantime, let's take a look at front pages, the sunday mail . mail on sunday suella. i will send migrants to luanda by summer, doubling down her hard line. sunday telegraph of migrants flights , rwanda by the migrants flights, rwanda by the summer. there a picture of gary lineker looking surprisingly sanguine about the whole arrangement . observer has arrangement. observer has johnson makes a last ditch bid to discredit probe into gate and a picture of vladimir putin couple of evil no good on the front page of the observer sunday mirror. britain should be proud of lemaitre and try to switch to as a three, two or

three hour comeback with costumed changes extraordinary the things they can do . sun the things they can do. sun express first rwanda asylum this summer and finally the daily star with the rather unsettling news that losing seven stone turned razor ruddock into a stud muffin . those were your front muffin. those were your front pages pages . so chris, let us pages pages. so chris, let us off with the mail on sunday and the migrant update. the migrant update. home secretary off lineker storm as she flies to africa to seal deportation and deal suella i'll send boat migrants to rwanda by summer, so been to africa.7 yeah. she's gone to have a look at the facilities she. she wants to get some home decoration tips from them. she was so impressed with where these people are going to be staying . one of the concerns are staying. one of the concerns are still that even if this all goes ahead. that might not be enough.

well, there won't be enough places. so spaces in rwanda, enough places, the flight, enough places, the flight, enough places, the flight, enough places mean, we enough places in. i mean, we would have probably have open would have to probably have open a new terminal just to keep up with output as with with the output as well. with me. think i think that's me. yeah, i think i think that's exactly right going be. exactly right it's going to be. i a sort symbolic i mean, it's a sort symbolic gesture, isn't it.7 they're they're literally hoping that this be sort of pipeline this will be an sort of pipeline , folkestone to , calais to folkestone to rwanda. that the point is to operate as a deterrent i would imagine is that a deterrent. is there one that sounds amazing. yeah i mean, obviously they've had some problems in the past and you know, maybe this is maybe this will the rwanda deal instead of focusing the hutus the tutsis. well it's they're a keen they be immigration but they're trying to reposition themselves as tourist offer, aren't they, or as a possibly retirement like us industry . and retirement like us industry. and yeah. bit like florida they the retirement villages, lots of tennis yeah and i the i think the climate it looks pretty nice to be honest that's in of course it's really nice not all of

africa is habitable but rwanda looks pretty good. also, you get to cavort with mountain gorillas think it's a win win i think i might pop over to calais then paddle back and get myself a free flight. yeah well, you know, they might have a problem . the passport office. yeah, that's true. what have we got with the observer? well, this is the observer and which. which is the observer and which. which is the guardian and they're the same same thing johnson makes last ditch bid to discredit probe into partygate and the truth is that i think this is because this was like last year two years ago no one's interested in partygate anymore partygate came to a sort of shattering roughly around the time that russia invaded ukraine didn't it that was to hand over though everyone kind of accepted happenedin though everyone kind of accepted happened in terms of headline grabbing and i it seems grabbing and i mean it seems pretty unlikely that johnson has got any way back into anything to them attention there was a time, course, where there was time, of course, where there was a turbulence and a while a lot of turbulence and a while ago trust came in has of the

shortest premierships in history. that in and history. soon that came in and not was convinced. but history. soon that came in and notseems was convinced. but history. soon that came in and not seems actually:onvinced. but history. soon that came in and not seems actually to vinced. but history. soon that came in and notseems actually to be ced. but history. soon that came in and not seems actually to be prettth he seems actually to be pretty well think the well bedded in. i i think the problem is , is that they is that problem is, is that they is that the british press think that they that boris johnson is a viewer reader or viewer getter in the same way. sure, this is going to be televised it's going to be fantastic in the same way donald trump got oil got so much attention, which is why they pick on donald trump. they know it increases cnn viewership. and i think. i think both show i think. but i think both show where up to the trump where we're up to the trump story, is very interesting story, which is very interesting and i agree you. i think and i agree with you. i think they desperately back they desperately need him back in frame they can get in the frame that they can get people's get up. but. people's blood get up. but. johnson that seems to johnson just that just seems to me know. it doesn't it me i don't know. it doesn't it doesn't ring it doesn't kind of get the old hammering again, doesn't ring it doesn't kind of get the do hammering again, doesn't ring it doesn't kind of get the do haryouring again, doesn't ring it doesn't kind of get the do haryou think gain, doesn't ring it doesn't kind of get the do haryou think was. no does it? do do you think was. no i'm interested in the i'm more interested in the hancock think, yes to by hancock now. i think, yes to by anything else on the front page. what is that putin story. world leaders called on putin leaders backed called on putin he's is being sort of he's actually is being sort of what's the word . he's accused of

what's the word. he's accused of crimes officially is this in the international court. well what's that old saying that history is written by the winners. yeah. and we're and we're winning. the truth is. but i tell you something for the matter when i feel sorry for putin and i feel sorry for the i don't like those people i grew up not those people i grew up not those people i'm an american i'm not meant to like those people but lay of putin, lay off the russians oh, let's not be to the to the russians. that's very kind of you. sun times crescent or what have they got ? damage to or what have they got? damage to women's trust in police will last generations. chief constable so this is obviously following the sarah everard situation and murder i at a gig last night i was at rose battle night. i'm not always this behaved rose what roast battle is exactly are you wearing the outfit for that then. no rose is roast roast roast. so the point is tell the comedians tell about each other and sarah everard joked last night yeah and i have to the room went stone dead and

they a tolerant audience that's not a good no i don't think i'd be comfortable with that. no but you have to imagine the spirit of point is it's really of the point is it's really people are very affected it that's why and i think this people are very affected it th absolutely and i think this people are very affected it th absolutely right|d i think this people are very affected it th absolutely right peopleik this people are very affected it th absolutely right people willis is absolutely right people will talk about it for a long time and it hasn't been it's not isolated. we've had an i mean it isolated. we've had an i mean it is most extreme example is it's the most extreme example we've a number stories of we've had a number of stories of passthrough the passthrough headliners in the last in which the met last 12 months in which the met have but has have behaved, but it has obviously emerged just many obviously emerged just how many opportunities they had to, you know, you why they know, do you know why they behaved badly? they're behaved badly? because they're the and anybody who the police and anybody who becomes basically becomes a policeman basically a criminal. there's something psychology . this is lewis. psychology. this is lewis. schaefer's theory is whatever you do, you probably in your heart reverse of it. if you are if you are like a doctor, you like you become harold shipman most doctors at how shipman without the nerve right most comedian are not funny not me i met the except this is a theory it's off the rails pretty quickly but i've have encountered that kind of idea. i think they're going to travel

obviously. have you encountered hostility to your christian name , a result of the network cliche? still, nobody can say cressida everybody is christian or well, that's probably not a bad thing . if i thought, oh, bad thing. if i thought, oh, finally it's over, won't have to spell it out any more. but no knows. what about the john lewis's shake up hundred lewis's biggest shake up hundred in 50 years? do you have any sort of sentimental attachment in 50 years? do you have any so the sentimental attachment in 50 years? do you have any so the serschoolal attachment in 50 years? do you have any so the ser school department?t in 50 years? do you have any so th don't. ;chool department?t in 50 years? do you have any so th don't. i hool department?t in 50 years? do you have any so th don't. i don't. apartment?t in 50 years? do you have any so th don't. i don't. afremember still don't. i don't. i remember once to buy a coffee machine from them . they always make from them. they always make a big point saying, never big point of saying, never knowingly undersold. that's gone big point of saying, never knowyeah undersold. that's gone big point of saying, never knowyeah underitld. that's gone big point of saying, never knowyeah underitld. tmore gone now. yeah yeah. it was more expensive there because it was in slightly shade of in a slightly different shade of and i just thought, oh, is this they can't i don't know whether they can't i don't know whether they will. and maybe match of they will. and maybe a match of an of online price an absolutely. of online price but certainly rock and but you certainly rock up and just of through just sort of thumb through amazon find one that amazon until you find one that you've, you know, that the you've, you know, that looks the same. they have any of same. they won't have any of that. it's quite place that. it's quite a nice place for wandering the john lewis in an old street, you know. and i do. do think the department do. i do think the department stores amount of stores add a certain amount of respect to shopping which can otherwise descend into quite venal activity, can't it you

know, that's true. they make you feel it was in breakfast at feel like it was in breakfast at tiffany's nothing bad tiffany's when says nothing bad could you. a like could ever happen to you. a like to yeah i like and to exactly yeah i like that and that's the closest nothing bad will to in will ever happen to me in tiffany's because i'll never be allowed in. i have quite a stern doorman premises. doorman on the premises. i remember superman when remember when superman when department killing department stores were killing like . and he like small businesses. and he hated department stores . hated hated department stores. now are regretting my now people are regretting my department . it's eight. department store. it's eight. when they left stretton, that was the beginning of the amazon , the whole of south london basically. it wasn't even a john lloyd been part of lloyd might have been part of the john lewis but that a the john lewis but that under a different to different name they used to be a big department on big department store on a stretch of my road and it was it was a posh neighbourhood as a result looked like bedford result it looked like bedford falls a wonderful life falls in it's a wonderful life and was pulled out and and then it was pulled out and caved but yeah i mean you are caved in but yeah i mean you are right about that seems to turn around the out—of—town around like the out—of—town shopping retail parks they were of they the high of course they killed the high street. now they're in trouble. you half of them you go out there, half of them are empty because i was just shopping and then amazon shopping online and then amazon is to be taken by

is now going to be taken over by robots basically we're all becoming redundant a very becoming redundant at a very it's feeding off isn't it the cycle the star . cycle finally the daily star. this is the story we all really want understand. well, this want to understand. well, this is that i actually is the story that i actually believe because was once believe because i was i was once fat disgusting know it's fat and disgusting know it's hard believe because look hard to believe because i look so amazing can see cressida so amazing you can see cressida she to me have she thinks she's next to me have good weakness . but this good looking weakness. but this guy, i'd guy, razor ruddock, who i'd never before, is an ex. never heard of before, is an ex. liverpool star. he lost seven stone, which our foreign visitors are 14. so a stone is 14. it's about 12 kilos. yeah. so that's about 80. 80 to 85 kilos. something that. right. because i lost, i lost stone three. but one of them was my wedding ring and at and he's selling and that's kind of ironic because the whole point is it's restored his sexual prowess because let me tell you what happens because you've got it because when you lose weight, one of reasons you're you're one of the reasons you're you're your down there isn't as your little down there isn't as large it could be is because large as it could be is because you're there's no build up of fat take the fat and fat you take away the fat and your looks a little bigger

your thing looks a little bigger and you go with a skinny and you go out with a skinny girl. saying look , girl. you're saying also look, chris, it looks extraordinarily unconvinced about . this i've got unconvinced about. this i've got no opinion, are they saying it's just that it looks bigger or. no, i think he's saying it's he's saying he gets a lot he gets a lot more of an effective you know, it's the distance from from the last bit of skin. he looks kind of weird, though. i mean, he usually he was called brazier ruddock. he was because he was a man, right he was he was a hard man, right he was a defender. he would drop you off. yeah not familiar with charles, but kind of charles, but harry's kind of old. i know. he doesn't old. i don't know. he doesn't look looks he look like that. looks like he should presenting under the should be presenting under the hammer now, it hammer or something. now, it just. it all still looks disappointing. that's front disappointing. that's the front pages. coming up after the break, to jump in break, we'll have to jump in trouble. romance is the trouble. prison romance is the consensual and time ticking consensual kind and time ticking for tock. miss it. for tick tock. don't miss it. 2 minutes see in a minutes time. see you in a minutes time. see you in a minute .

welcome back to headline with me, simon evans. my two fantastic comedians are lewis carnivore, schafer and watercress eater. and to get it okay never heard you on we kick off with the observer on trump's about to pull off a pretty danng about to pull off a pretty daring publicity stunt by the looks it lewis are you consider it a publicity study he's about to be is about to be arrested it's only taken the new york district attorney seven years to file charges trump claims he will be arrested tuesday in new york. criminal case where he he was accused giving money to one of to a woman who he had sex with 50. he's 1617 years. and with 50. he's1617 years. and this is still me daniel stormy day it's more one woman. no, this is just one woman. that's what he's being. but he's done it to the many other women. well the case. may you other individuals. but i think i think stormy daniels is the central and is another one called karen

mcdougal, who was playboy model , a playmate, i think they call this studio something or a playboy, i don't know. anyway, play—doh . no, they she's some play—doh. no, they she's some play—doh. no, they she's some play—doh. certainly. she's she's after 150. no, she got hundred and 50,000. i mean, it does all look pretty messy, but it does also look, the timing is, isn't it, if they're just trying to derail his attempt to get back in with the white house now, they're not think they're not i don't think they're not i don't think they're derail it that they're trying to derail it that would no would be would make no nobody would be happier democrats to happier than the democrats to run against the guy they want him to win. actually think him to win. i actually think i think there's some kind of weird i democrats are smart. i think the democrats are smart. there is a freudian death drive is you think they want is in vogue. you think they want him win. no, they don't want him to win. no, they don't want him to win. no, they don't want him want to run up him to win. they want to run up a run against. well, do. the a run against. well, you do. the new and cnn want to win new york and cnn want him to win because he's the kind of villain that their that increases their circulation. right. right they probably suck. they don't want him will him to win, but they will be very does win. yeah very happy if he does win. yeah yeah. you know, i think that they the democrats. they but i think the democrats.

are you saying sorry to interrupt are you saying you interrupt but are you saying you think that he is the least likely of all the potential candidates to win for the republicans obvious other republicans, the obvious other one being dissenters of the two, he's actually , he's least likely to actually, if he was running, to be able to beat whoever. yeah because he's got lot of dirty water under got a lot of dirty water under his bridge . what do you think, his bridge. what do you think, chris? well, don't, but they chris? well, i don't, but they said that last time, didn't they? like they? and they did. it's like they? and they did. it's like the brexit and he said it the brexit thing. and he said it in and he won in 2020 and he clearly won right. to, you know , they right. wants to, you know, they want to protest . i don't know. want to protest. i don't know. it's all a bit i quite like the way observer comes out very strongly. they say his postings on his social media great generosity. his lies generosity. he repeated his lies that the 2020 president this is not his assertions which have not his assertions which have not backed by court not been backed by court findings. no, his lies really coming out strongly. well, this is guardian. yeah. let's is the guardian. yeah. let's take a look at the sunday telegraph now. and i'm shocked to that sturgeon's to read that nicola sturgeon's husband resigned because was husband resigned because i was certain she certain with that haircut she was but perhaps is as was a lesbian, but perhaps is as well. anyway okay. nicola sturgeon's husband peter murrell resigns as snp chief executive.

now he's claiming was going to do this anyway. he's previously that. so the important thing is that. so the important thing is that we've just found that although the people who would like to in charge of the snp have been asking . how many have been asking. how many members has it got? they've been saying 100,000. yeah the truth is they've lost 30,000 and. yeah. and he's been avoiding up with this murray foot press chief has quit over this because he was sort of sent out to fight and say no, we're still 100,000 that trans head more than that. in fact, at one point i think they were up to about 120,000. and now it's down to about 70,000. yeah, they've been 70,000. but yeah, they've been making vague gestures making sort of vague gestures towards for while, towards 800,000 for a while, didn't they. yeah, it's sort of like you're having a house like when you're having a house party friends say, is party and your friends say, is anyone to in career anyone coming to in career go below girls. that won't below the girls. but that won't be. just i there be. so it's just i mean, there are various reasons why people might not to a member might choose not to be a member of political. this did happen, of a political. this did happen, of a political. this did happen, of under corbyn. he had of course, under corbyn. he had a of membership, but a huge surge of membership, but it necessarily to votes. it didn't necessarily to votes. and in fact, if anything it kind

of toxic to of made the party more toxic to the moderate folk. so the more moderate folk. so it isn't necessarily like bad isn't necessarily like a bad sign that you're losing membership. it might just be people under cost of living people under the cost of living crisis thinking. i'd rather crisis thinking. man, i'd rather hate the house have hate the house than have a membership. we've membership. you know, we've given a push the right given them a push in the right direction. on other hand, on direction. on the other hand, on the hand, it's scotland it's the hand, it's scotland and it's an nation off an irrelevant little nation off the america. nobody the coast of america. nobody cares honestly , cares about scotland, honestly, we we desperately want to we do. we desperately want to keep the open. i see. we keep the border open. i see. we know you don't want to have another northern situation. well, start then after well, it will start then after that, i promise you, if we scotland, mercia will next. scotland, then mercia will next. and quite sure where that is going to be a significant loss. the sun now with a story on post—brexit immigration. lewis now you are our token immigrant. what do you make of it? i don't really understand it. oh, basically, there's a up for the bush was one more immigrants come come to the uk since we know why they come to the uk because the countries that they live in horrible while also being the the number two being the one the number two going know you go and you go

well i mean i'm just going to say the liberal and the liberal would like to paint britain as a racist , you know, and yet it racist, you know, and yet it does seem to attract people who would be, you would assume unwelcome in, a racist hellhole. and myself yes, including myself. but number two, would you welcome i wasn't welcome . you welcome i wasn't welcome. number two is i had all these immigrants who were coming to this country have a very unrealistic view of what the country is from all the tv. so it's a combination . their place it's a combination. their place is being horrible. i'm thinking it looks like paradise in britain and it's not paradise. what tv shows are they watching or watching on the crown? okay me on the crown. now you're on it . what do you what do you it. what do you what do you think? listen, i it's interesting that it's just there are different people coming. so immigrants in 2004. yeah, but typically the newly allowed people from and places nearer to us. yes they were unskilled . us. yes they were unskilled. this article is saying that now we're getting people from

nigeria, zimbabwe and the philippines might be coming in primarily india, who you have a huge diversity, a freedom of movement, relationship with movement, a relationship with india now, which is very similar to we have with europe. to the one we have with europe. yeah sound yeah so that doesn't sound particularly racist. no, you particularly racist. it no, you know, and got vastly more immigrants than we to have i think every single rhetorical device has been thrown device that has been thrown immigration over the last 30 years has turned out to be utterly there's been utterly hollow. there's been no let at all or even down. no, let up at all or even down. no, no. because the is because the powers that be who was ever running this world, they want immigration. they want they want it doesn't matter what kind of immigration, because if you have skilled people, it means that some british who is some british person who is skilled then be forced to skilled will then be forced to have some unskilled . so have to do some unskilled. so it's like having women. it's like when you allow women into the even even the the country, even the even the ugly raise boats of ugly ones raise boats of everybody else cannot anyway onto the daily they say women love bad boys . well but is this love bad boys. well but is this a stitch too far, chris loves me and i'm a bad boy am i if that

has not been confirmed prison officers having affairs with criminals rise by nearly % and criminals rise by nearly% and the actual number what that is five men and 31 women have right 7 five men and 31 women have right ? yeah. it's not that many , is ? yeah. it's not that many, is it? and obviously, if you want to make when things rise by a percentage , it's a sign that percentage, it's a sign that it's a small numbers , you know, it's a small numbers, you know, and they're just making it really aren't they. you really sexy aren't they. you mustn't that. yeah. you know i don't i don't find it that surprising at all are you that i don't know. it's not that i'm not surprised. she just said she just said makes it just you just said it makes it really you mustn't do really sexy. you mustn't do that. so do to think that. so do you like to think i've met human beings? what i've met human beings? know what we're they women. we're like? yeah, they women. and these same photographs, these appeared in these same stories appeared in these same stories appeared in the a few months ago. the daily mail a few months ago. i know. they find i don't know. they seem to find any basically the any to basically repeat the same. as much as they can same. yeah, as much as they can plagiarising is fairly unedifying because when you think, sexy, naughty in think, ooh, sexy, naughty in prison sounds a bit prison that sounds a bit salacious you the salacious. then you see the photographs the individuals photographs and the individuals and feels i, don't know, and it just feels i, don't know, like i should really not be, you know, broad spectrum. you can go

onune know, broad spectrum. you can go online and look at the photos, some very attractive people and some very attractive people and some not so much. so why do they have which think was attractive? oh, names now. i oh, i haven't the names now. i don't there was there was don't know there was there was a very picture of a blonde very staged picture of a blonde lady. oh yeah. the top one. yeah. would seem a bit. yeah. that would seem a bit. well, you want to know what causes it? number you causes it? number one, you shouldn't women prison shouldn't put women in a prison with all these men. number one. number you take you take number two, you take you take a prison population. all prison population. they're all fit. these prisons, they spend all day at, they're not like fat engush all day at, they're not like fat english people. they look amazing. sure about that. they look rich and they're bad boys like the women like louis schafer. the women love and number and love the bad and number and number two, it's a captive audience. they're stuck there. well, they're blaming undertrained officers. no, it's women being in a prison. they should not be allowed be. and i have to say, if you thrown women police prison officer into porridge, the sitcom , it would porridge, the sitcom, it would have it would have struck most people as a bit unfeasible, wouldn't it? but gradually, yeah , it's seeped terrible in the times now, as if the nhs isn't

in enough trouble now. the government going to ban tick—tock. now where will the nurses dance? yeah well, this is. this is an interesting news story because . because tick tock story because. because tick tock they want to ban tick tock and i think they're going far as to ban it for government and government phone checks, but they're not banning for government phones. so if you if a government person has a regular they're allowed regular phone, they're allowed to use and rest of us to use it and the rest of us will allowed to use it. will be allowed to use it. i don't why they should don't know why they should ban it. say they know it. and even they say they know why they should ban it. and if you can get around banning by you can get around banning it by having then yeah. which is having a vp then yeah. which is a virtual private network which i know what because i barely know what it is because i'm so you pretend i'm 66 years old. so you pretend be somewhere else. it's where you pretend your phone thinks you're you are. you're wherever you you are. yeah. people yeah. so it's so it's so people can illicit affairs. yeah can have illicit affairs. yeah right. so i assume part of the reason if they're going it reason if they're going ban it from phones not from government phones is not because it's waste of time or because it's waste of time or because being because you're being indoctrinated or you're wasting your just it's chinese videos just because it's chinese state of software. and the state piece of software. and the suspicion can be used suspicion is that it can be used to get that they'd rather you didn't . rather yeah. is that the

didn't. rather yeah. is that the idea if you've still got it in your private phone. the difference. yeah, but it has been banned from a lot of other places. think, they found it places. i think, they found it and india and think and it says in india and i think america well is that right america as well is that right now haven't that in now they haven't banned that in america. trump wanted america. donald trump wanted to ban. ban oh did the end ban. ban oh did it. at the end of day, it should be banned of the day, it should be banned because it makes feel so bad. it's one of those things you do it. when i used it's it. it's when i used to it's like playing candy crush you do and you get into it. i don't know what phrase a time warp know what the phrase a time warp or thing yeah or something. next thing yeah doomscrolling thing know doomscrolling next thing know stop looking at things. it's stop looking at bad things. it's addictive. crush is not addictive. candy crush is not necessarily though i suppose i've done that. it's not i've never done that. it's not it's not it doesn't. it's just a game. right, right. that's a game. right, right. that's a game. it it's one of the like, what this, a tetris, isn't what is this, a tetris, isn't it? when you're it? doomscrolling when you're just bad news, just looking at the bad news, make and you just think make feels and you just think that scrolling i waste that something scrolling i waste patty's way time patty's way too much time looking at videos it's like looking at dog videos it's like i what dog's going to i know what the dog's going to do. to be cute. quest do. it's going to be cute. quest stop it. and i can't stop myself. i sometimes think when look lives, we will

look back on our lives, we will just what were just think, what the hell were we doing? it but then suppose we doing? it but then i suppose probably in the used to i probably people in the used to i don't know what they did in those was equally those days that was equally well that's later meaning that's coming later meaning i think you will find out in the eighties when yeah. and eighties when i do. yeah. and i still remember still can't remember it back combing hair until it fell combing my hair until it fell out. we've got to take quick break now. don't go anywhere as we'll have artificial intelligence and autism coming up. you can definitely tell which our producers which of our producers are working see working on tonight's show. see you in a couple of moments .

yeah. welcome back , headliners. yeah. welcome back, headliners. we'll jump straight back in sunday's mail and should autistic people be able to diagnose those themselves? personally, i think that takes the fun away from me. it but i question which you autistic people should be able to diagnose themselves in some

cases top expert . so this is the cases top expert. so this is the daily mail professor fletcher watson is in favour of self i.d. he or she? i don't know. i think that this should be something you can just. i'd like you would agenda as mentioned in this, i don't know the saying one in 100 people are autistic . some say people are autistic. some say one in some 50 now or something. right some of us work in comedy and can't believe it's so low. i well, i do think it is something to do with the bubble you work in to some extent, you know, there are certain bevels and there are certain bevels and there lot of industries now there a lot of industries now which people or which i or autistic people or people spectrum say quite people on the spectrum say quite deliberately , they it. deliberately, they look for it. they they it as the they they regard it as the ability strike the ability to strike the superficial because you can bnng superficial because you can bring the obsessive qualities so on considered to be. yeah on are considered to be. yeah it's it's not it's that it's not it's not being if people could diagnose themselves it only depends on how much money is involved well how much money is involved well how much money make by how much money they can make by saying i'm autistic, what kind of they get of programmes they could get into. with all into. it's the same way with all other the all the other. you're right. it's the question of whether. it's not about

whether. well, it's not about programmes necessarily, but it might medication might be about medication there might be about medication there might about might be it might be about getting access, something another obviously, another and that is obviously, you different. you know, that's different. if you know, that's different. if you i can as a woman you say, i can, i can as a woman or i you say, i can, i can as a woman ori can you say, i can, i can as a woman or i can as a man or non—binary or i can as a man or non—binary or whatever if it's if it's simply a question of having a slightly irritating demand for, you know, your pronouns being acknowledged, that's one thing. but autism if that's but with autism if that's something you kind go, something that you kind of go, i have diagnosed myself being autistic and i now demand and i don't know but i extra time in exams that could be one thing for instance you know good drug okay yeah that's a good point but i'm thinking diagnosis is so you've got a call to action, isn't it? what next. yeah. isn't it? so to what next. yeah. and so say i've diagnosed and so you say i've diagnosed myself as autistic. now what? thatis myself as autistic. now what? that is big question is i can make allowances for myself. i don't have lots of money in the nhs to diagnose everybody . i can nhs to diagnose everybody. i can save a few quid and there are people, i've heard a lot of people, i've heard a lot of people saying lately , there are people saying lately, there are various clinics which have been set quite recently and set up quite recently and opportunistically to diagnoses

of this kind of thing, adhd and so on. yeah, because there's money in it, because people want the diagnosis and the nhs is overwhelmed and you've got to be a waiting list. so a two year waiting list. so instead you can go the instead you can go round the back, should take back, say people should take care of themselves. that's one of your favourite. i did take care of themselves, but i mean i would say could diagnose yourself as long yourself with anything as long as i shouldn't be too as as long i shouldn't be too serious about this. long serious about this. as long as we have give them we don't don't have to give them so much money. i mean, i remember i remember when i was youngen remember i remember when i was younger, doctor, i was it was younger, my doctor, i was it was dunng younger, my doctor, i was it was during bleak during the bleak the bleak depression of the 1990s. and my doctor, i went to a 1990, 1999. this year i got so long ago and my doctor said, wow you're really depressed. i could i can get you depression benefits, right. and i said i said , of right. and i said i said, of course i'm depressed. i don't have job. i don't have a girlfriend. yeah it's a rational response . yeah, rational. so response. yeah, rational. so i didn't , i didn't take the didn't, i didn't take the initiative. well you're on the next best thing or gb news here

we stick with the daily mail, and it seems makes as much sense as a vegan sausage . you manage as a vegan sausage. you manage to kick the habit anyway. lewis so that's. you know what? i'm not embarrassed about it. and i tell you. so this says that now scientists say all is bad for everyone and they should stop viewing it and i'm not saying bad, but the researchers at the brigham university. yeah. who are against then the mormons of course they're going to say that. i did think that was tucked in the article. be right. look at me. i'm university is specifically funded by the church of the latter day saints. they have a they like a they have a they have like a mission statement which says no sex a marriage sex outside of a marriage between man and a woman. so, between a man and a woman. so, of they're going to come of course, they're going to come up with thing. and the up with this thing. and the question came first, question is, which came first, the chicken or egg? said the chicken or the egg? it said that who at have bad that who look at have bad relationships. make relationships. it doesn't make yeah a relationship yeah if you're in a relationship you are interrupting that you i don't want be accused of don't want to be accused of interrupting were interrupting you were interrupting you were interrupting me. i to asked interrupting me. i to i've asked and then the audience then the audience is thinking he has it prepared given i have it

prepared. but this is one thing that i did. sorry them yelling at the host. is the worst at the host. this is the worst television i don't know television ever. i don't know how a control sample how they got a control sample kind i thought kind of thing. oh, i thought i was having rebirth. how do they find people that aren't watching was having rebirth. how do they firto people that aren't watching was having rebirth. how do they firto .eople that aren't watching was having rebirth. how do they firto . well, that aren't watching was having rebirth. how do they firto . well, that sayst watching was having rebirth. how do they firto . well, that says you tching was having rebirth. how do they firto . well, that says you watch it to. well, that says you watch a lot. no young is i've been looking at john grey videos recently i'm fascinated john grey men from mars with venus. yes. and he wrote about hormones a lot and the impact of on hormones is really damaging and. it stops guys having testosterone. so i don't have to go through the process of really winning affections. yeah winning woman's affections. yeah and he was talking about this and he was talking about this and the thing i watch the other day that can't day is that they can't get control groups test people that don't watch because everybody watches can't young don't watch because everybody watche not can't young don't watch because everybody watche not within can't young don't watch because everybody watche not within relation>ung don't watch because everybody watche not within relation ship maybe not within relation ship the point is within a relationship if you watch or then you don't watch obviously single obviously men who single men obviously men who have not who are but the picture that they always at the top of these articles is a bloke lying and wife asleep in bed and and his wife asleep in bed and he's got the laptop , you know, he's got the laptop, you know, and he's like , he's

and he's like, he's investigating. so but my point was it's a question of people who are unhappy relationships , who are unhappy relationships, are looking at or looking at causes unhappy which comes first, the chicken or the egg ? first, the chicken or the egg? yeah. and if you should always leave the chicken a load okay. the guardian now cambridge universities that identity is sorry yellow you got to be the yellow . i apologise for that. we yellow. i apologise for that. we have to bring in something next week. but you're not going to care i apologise . care about. i apologise. apologise about apologise. decide that i love simon so much. really like you are like a smart. who is more sex? lewis brother lewis . take your meds . brother lewis. take your meds. the guardian now. cambridge is determined to destroy itself further cressida yes. cambridge college . create a fellowship to college. create a fellowship to examine slavery links so this is a bit strange. they're creating fellowship position to look the history of slavery and how it's cambridge university. turns out they've already an inquiry. this

is why i'm confused because they had an in 2019 to 20. yeah they looked the past surprise surprise of course there's links because it's an old institute fusion it concluded there were significant benefits although there was no direct of slavery. so the point they're making that slave owners would have sent their kids to study there. yeah they're worried more about bequests , i suppose, from slave bequests, i suppose, from slave owners and so on of established entire colleges kind of thing or statues . the rhodesmustfall statues. the rhodesmustfall thing the big example. it's thing is the big example. it's this idea that we need to have an honest conversation and get it all out in the daylight and then we can move on and that's it. i'm we do doing it. it's like say can we ever get it out the data it's like it's not like that it's constantly reopening a wound it seems that there is this this impulse to this kind of, this impulse to just constantly go back . woods just constantly go back. woods it isn't reopening wound because there was no wound for english people or for myself. it's like it's like saying you should feel bad because someone somewhere for some amount of time, for

some amount money knew someone was involved in the in the hive thing. it's know what we should go. we should . to every person go. we should. to every person who visits who goes to school they're from every one of those countries and check slave links whether it's spain or portugal you don't think those people had slave links. on well or italy or the other day did the thing with the other day did the thing with the with the what's name the da vinci mom was a slave owner . vinci mom was a slave owner. nigeria. half of those people , nigeria. half of those people, slave owners, the other half were slave capture people they could put the money into. looking at modern slavery, couldn't they? that might be, yeah. couldn't they? that might be, yeah . or investigating, you yeah. or just investigating, you know . something of actual use know. something of actual use to, you know, on an academic bafis to, you know, on an academic basis rather than a sort of social. angela's a social activist. that doesn't mean i support slavery. i want to go on record saying i don't support record as saying i don't support so or benefit from al next and the universities are having language troubles i have to say i've had my share those but yes

this this is something i never even know about . it's the even know about. it's the academic misconduct and, poor student performance, performance is that uk universities not like it. our link to this test called the duolingo entry test, which is a $50 online test which kids take or people take to see if they can go to go to university . and this is just to test whether their language is academic and this is that so this store is basically been planted probably by the language tests companies including . the tests companies including. the £265 duolingo lingua the it's called the english language system test, which costs £265. they basically what they're basically saying this duolingo test is not very good we don't know that to be true. i bet some kind of money being changing in to try to badmouth duolingo. have used it? haven't

have you used it? i haven't gotten spare. i've tried gotten a spare. it's i've tried to learn french with it and to re learn french with it and i can't say i got very far, you know, right when my son is learning gcse and thought it learning gcse and i thought it might little sort of like a might be a little sort of like a little parallel training, it was utterly have utterly useless i have to say. i suppose there's a difference between actually between learning and actually using test. if they've using it as a test. if they've created test. yes and it's created a test. yes and it's better than tiktok isn't it. it's not. we did mention i don't know, it came up earlier, but when talking about the when they were talking about the statistics, part of the statistics, part of those the elevated immigration is for foreign students is like a massive deal now about half a million students come million foreign students come andifs million foreign students come and it's huge money spinner and it's a huge money spinner for universities. and you for the universities. and you can that they can easily imagine that they would not be necessarily looking too closely at their ability to actually when they get here, is they commit to that? they going to commit to that? i don't pay. don't know how much they pay. it's significantly than the it's significantly more than the standard guarantee. standard student loan guarantee. and only £50 for them to and it was only £50 for them to take the duolingo test. of course, they would want more people pay because more people would be willing. hopefully they pick when they it. and pick it up when they get it. and finally, section we go finally, in this section we go the and seems ai is

the observer and it seems ai is stealing in the wrong stealing jobs in the wrong order. cressida chat gpt said i not exist how artists and are fighting back against ai so when these ai services i don't know what to call them but in order to create some stuff they've got to create some stuff they've got to scrape all this data from . to scrape all this data from. existing artists. yes, that's apparently designers and photographers happy about it. you know, happy about it. it's hardest for them at the minute because at moment we still can't get any decent poetry or jokes from home things. but it's starting . it's like these people starting. it's like these people saying it's not just this terrible in the future thing, it's happening now. it's happened very suddenly in the course of the last six months. i mean, i know i've followed number of accounts twitter number of accounts on twitter who the fun of it who posts the joy, the fun of it at this point is creating a prompt prompt that creates prompt text prompt that creates interesting , like jordan interesting, like dr. jordan versus the darlings was one. somebody did recently, and it worked out very well. but then give it a little tweak, you introduce a word here or there, and suddenly you get an

and then suddenly you get an image. now not something you'd put on your this put over on your wall this point, certainly point, but it's certainly something illustrate the something could illustrate the book the jacket book cover of the jacket illustration for a book or or a cd cover, that sort of thing. i mean, there's certainly to mean, there's certainly up to that i would that standard and i would imagine of commercial, you imagine a lot of commercial, you know, used to a decent , know, who used to get a decent, steady income from that kind of thing. we're not talking about fine arts . we're talking about fine arts. we're talking about people who create like images that people will for that people will use for commercial purposes. example commercial purposes. for example , writes audio books , a guy who writes audio books has found out that his works now being used by directly being used by not directly right. they've hit the right. but they've hit the technology listened to his technology has listened to his audiobooks. yeah so learn how to do an audiobook so that's pretty awful is it. that's halted while they look in. i did a did a corporate the other night with a guy called roger tilling who is the voice of university challenge . she's the one who challenge. she's the one who goes pennsylvanian here. schaefer when the bushel button you know you just start it for ten and also he is voice of satnav on land rover cos they come pre—programmed with it and

i think that is a fantastic endorsement of your voice isn't it. but if could just scrape it from it from universal challenge of course. i suppose you have record a number of turn right, turn left of things but isn't that comedians do copy. that what as comedians do copy. not me . yeah, but we copy the not me. yeah, but we copy the comedians and everybody copies. it's just so this is a machine copying. i'm not worried about artificial intelligence. you know, i think it's i think big because you don't have any that could be it could be threatened. but, know, they all but, you know, all they can all like it's fantastic for everybody. they say, oh you know, that show that i did know, oh, that show that i did was just artificial intelligence. they made the thing up and i could out, thing up and i could get out, get of bed gigs. let's take get out of bed gigs. let's take a now. join us in a quick break now. join us in just a couple of minutes for sex, breakers, sexy sex, spring breakers, sexy centenarian and sexy staff exploitation . cannot wait to see exploitation. cannot wait to see in a couple of minutes.

and welcome back to headlines so we start our last section tonight with the mail on sunday andifs tonight with the mail on sunday and it's bad news for all hard working staff, which is why i make sure to phone this job in every night to be. yeah. you are not phoning it in and i'm not phoning and i'm just struggling to stay above my feet anyway. this, this is the daily mail that staff who go the extra mile in more likely to be in jobs are more likely to be exploited by bosses and. exploited by their bosses and. this this one guy did a study where i think he did a study. his he asked the duke duke university in north carolina, which is a very good school, supposedly he he was presented manager with a choice of two employee profiles . one had a employee profiles. one had a reputation for loyalty to their boss and the other was much less loyal right off loyal at all. and the manager said they would usually ask the loyal to do things at no extra pay . this is.

things at no extra pay. this is. this this is the daily mail. this this is the daily mail. this is i'm not saying this against program. this is this tells you horrible the newspapers that this is news. of course the most the nicest helpfulness. but you got all the assignments because you were so you don't know that me you are absolutely right. and once work in a call centre doing these it was like market research. we have to ring people up and ask them how they'd experienced whatever product it was yeah and it was horrible as you'd imagine i was a student and because i think because i've like think because i've got like a trust voice, you know, people like you i wouldn't do like you think i wouldn't do anything? was really anything? well, i was really good at because didn't good at it because people didn't hang up on me and. then i got worse clients. like, yes, worse clients. i got like, yes, no clients that the gold card. these are people who these are the people who definitely want talk definitely don't want to talk to you they're yeah. you because they're posh. yeah. and job. yeah. because and i left job. yeah. because you're to more so you're asked to more so everybody knows me i was a horror employee it's hard everybody knows me i was a ho believe )loyee it's hard everybody knows me i was a ho believe because it's hard everybody knows me i was a ho believe because i it's hard everybody knows me i was a ho believe because i look's hard everybody knows me i was a ho believe because i look so1ard to believe because i look so amazing, i was . i had eight amazing, but i was. i had eight jobs before i started the comedy

business seven of them, i business and seven of them, i got the police , got fired to the police, actually called . i came into the actually called. i came into the office , ask to adam said there office, ask to adam said there and i hated people like chris and i hated people like chris and i hated people like chris and i hated people i hated people like you. i was very jealous of the outrageous . i'm jealous of the outrageous. i'm amazed it doesn't mention gender because it's often ladies isn't it. who are who are moral hard working. yeah taken advantage of we move to the star. just how far will male students go to see topless . we want to know now all topless. we want to know now all the way to a mexican drug cartel. it seems crass enough. this is brilliant. spring break has to stop partying as they risk being slaughtered by warring cartels . so this risk being slaughtered by warring cartels. so this is americans students. up to 100,000 of them descend on south parade . they want to go to parade. they want to go to mexico for the border. padre, did i say parade ? padre, thank. did i say parade? padre, thank. they want to go. that's crazy . they want to go. that's crazy. do whatever they do. get drunk whatever. and now they're going. do you know these places have been there? have you been to

matamoros . i've actually been to matamoros. i've actually been to bad abortion and he survived saved it. so it's dangerous recently, americans got killed and can relate to this because and i can relate to this because when was teenager we used to when i was a teenager we used to go of year thing go for end of year thing in newquay that pretty newquay and that pretty outrageous and my newquay yeah in and they'd let you in cornwall and they'd let you get tattoos even if you were six. it was crazy. my friend russell has got a tattoo. not quite sort of intense drug quite such sort of intense drug cartel though, there, cartel rate, though, is there, in newquay , i think. don't in newquay, i think. i don't know. haven't been there know. i haven't been there a long time since i went. i see my daughter did go to i think it's called like it's some of surf festival or something down in newquay boardmasters festival or something down in newquay iioardmasters festival or something down in newquay i thinknasters festival or something down in newquay i think sheers festival or something down in newquay i think she did something. and i think she did say was a little bit say that there was a little bit of there was a bit of naughtiness going there, naughtiness going on down there, so there and so maybe we're staying there and nice cartel kind of nice and drug cartel kind of culture there. yeah, well i see, you i'm seeing through all you know, i'm seeing through all these this story is don't go across border matamoras hang across the border matamoras hang out brown well, but that out in brown well, but that always used to mean dylan had lyrics about not crossing the border into mexico. yeah, because he place exactly . went because he place exactly. went up in juarez. yeah he didn't

want to be killed. and that was the song and brownsville girl was one of the best songs. next, we go to the sunday mirror, just in time for mother's day. if you ever a problem with your ever had a problem with your in—laws, you. in—laws, i can't imagine you. well, might not. the well, i didn't. might not. the lady obviously. thing lady obviously. the thing is this another that is this another that thing is i know i had i had the mother number from his is a story is a story which is the which is i don't even where to begin because it's a mother who is unhappy because her husband because her husband wants to spend mother's day with his mother and doesn't fawn over her. well, this is the trouble with mother's day is. they all come at once, basically, everyone is a mother and has a mother. so you have a sort of chain of mothers. yeah. and so the one mother thinks i want a off and instead is expected to go off and instead is expected to 9° pay off and instead is expected to go pay homage to her mother in law. that's true. that is law. yeah, that's true. that is a tricky situation. tricky the only there's only one way out of it, though, and that's not any better as a which is for steve

also which is the boy maybe murdering own maybe murdering your own wife maybe that's should be that's the way they should be like there should like two days. there should be one mother's day and, then one for mother's day and, then there should be one for like cronje mean, yeah, cronje de jong. i mean, yeah, graham would like him. on really? the independent. now we got just enough time to get these last two stories in it. i don't think this one is likely to feature in the next lego movie. i hope medical movie. i hope not. medical profession lego profession girls swallow lego heads test how it takes to heads to test how it takes to poop heads to test how it takes to poop them out. i think i've told you the whole story that if that's a weird selection, is that's a weird selection, is that you would think that the medical profession would be able to up with something to come up with something devised purpose from devised for that purpose from having of reuse having to sort of reuse children's toys or some kind of electronic thing, which is at the it may be totally the time it may be totally because lego thing because doesn't the lego thing have , little head? it have a little, little head? it has heads or does it just have a hole for the neck? you could be. right. you can attach hat right. so you can attach the hat if it's got one. apparently one guy took more two weeks. guy took more than two weeks. i think the main. oh yeah. i swallowed a gold crown once and waited for it to accidentally

got loose and it was worth a couple of hundred quid if i could get it back out. well i mean because i never it again. no but i was really was like staring. i should use metal staring. i should use the metal which had the evidence. it which we had in the evidence. it doesn't know that you can't use a metal detector gold. i think you i think there's you can. i think there's incentive. yeah. people incentive. yeah. if people aren't for ring pulls incentive. yeah. if people arerisn't for ring pulls incentive. yeah. if people arerisn't it for ring pulls incentive. yeah. if people arerisn't it a for ring pulls incentive. yeah. if people arerisn't it a magneticpulls incentive. yeah. if people arerisn't it a magnetic thing. but isn't it a magnetic thing. this is nearly over. so this show is nearly over. so let's take another quick look at sunday's page before sunday's front page before we go. sunday has suella. go. the sunday mail has suella. i'll both migrants to i'll send both migrants to rwanda the summer. the sunday rwanda by the summer. the sunday telegraph migrants flights to rwanda by summer observer. johnson makes last ditch bid to discredit probe partygate sunday mirror should be proud of loyal nature sunday express first crew under asylum flights this summer and finally the daily star has losing seven stone turn me into stud muffin those were your front pages that's all we have time for. thank you very much. my time for. thank you very much. my guest louis schafer and crystal wetter. thank you. and remember that if you're watching

the 5 am. repeat, stay tuned for the breakfast. otherwise, we'll good we'll see you tomorrow. good night .

i love it to see you all again, fellow travellers. here we are for another edition of neil oliver live on gb news tv and on radio. tonight on the show i'll be discussing what the fall of the silicon valley bank could mean to us here in the uk and what actually happened at the us capitol building on january six, 2021. plus, an unexpected victory for the dutch farmers protest party. all of that and more coming up. but first, an update on the latest news from tatiana sanchez . neal, thank

tatiana sanchez. neal, thank you. and good evening. this is the latest from the gb news room. the home secretary has defended a plan to send illegal migrants to rwanda that allows the government confirmed more than 200 people crossed the channel yesterday following five days of inactivity . suella days of inactivity. suella braverman is in the rwandan caphal braverman is in the rwandan capital, kigali, where she's been given a tour of a housing site which will provide long term accommodation for refugees. she maintains the government's deportation policy, which has faced some criticism , will act faced some criticism, will act as a powerful deterrent for those considering dangerous journeys in small boats . the journeys in small boats. the home secretary also visited a training and education centre where she addressed some of the graduates. we are absolutely delighted and excited about our partnership with rwanda to be creating a vibrant community here, to be a positive, secure,

beautiful haven