on randerson in the gb newsroom, a major has been declared in dorset after the equivalent of 200 barrels of oil and saline solution spilt into poole harbour. this harbour commissioners. harbour. this harbour commissioners . the harbour. this harbour commissioners. the leak came from a pipeline leading into the which farm onshore processing facility pipeline has been shut down. local councils says early indications are that the surface slick is dispersing members of the public are being advised not to swim in. poole or the surrounding area . the prime surrounding area. the prime minister is set to unveil a hundred and £60 million plan to stamp out anti—social behaviour once and for all offenders will be forced to clean up their communities as part of rishi sunak new immediate justice scheme . the plan will initially scheme. the plan will initially be trialled in ten areas across the country . be trialled in ten areas across the country. laughing gas will also be banned and fines for

graffiti and fly tipping will be increased . england has beaten increased. england has beaten ukraine to nil in their group c euro qualifying match. both teams joined for a photograph before the game as players clutched a ukrainian flag with the peace written across it. uefa had given 1000 free tickets to ukrainian refugees and their british hosts attend the game. first half goals from harry kane and bukayo saka were enough to seal the win. teams will now face off again in september. tensions have heightened between russia and ukraine with country's state media saying that a blast in the tula region . the country was caused by the ukraine drone packed with explosives . three people were explosives. three people were reportedly injured when they were struck by shrapnel over ukraine has not claimed responsibility for. ukraine has not claimed responsibility for . the alleged responsibility for. the alleged attack follows pleas from the european union for russia to halt the stationing of nuclear

weapons in belarus. kyiv's foreign ministry has the decision provocative that calling for a session of the security council and the us president has declared a state of emergency in mississippi after a tornado killed at least 26 people. the twister through the state and on into alabama cutting a path of that was 170 miles long. around 11,000 residents there are still without power. they say there was no place to hide from the storm storm. we're on tv online , dab+ radio and of course were on tune in to this is gb news time now. the headliners . time now. the headliners. hello and welcome to headliners hope you're having a great weekend. you here and welcome joining me

to take you through the best of monday's top stories are the top comedians and headliner stalwarts josh howie and scott chaparro . and how are you both chaparro. and how are you both doing .7 good. me.7 how chaparro. and how are you both doing ? good. me? how are you? doing? good. me? how are you? yeah abide by the day. arguing onune yeah abide by the day. arguing online as know , ignoring my online as know, ignoring my family . my online as know, ignoring my family. my kids like online as know, ignoring my family . my kids like daddy. look family. my kids like daddy. look at this picture. are you making at this picture. are you making a point? i mean ,10% of yourjob a point? i mean, 10% of yourjob being a gb news is actually doing the job the rest of the time . arguing on twitter. i'm time. arguing on twitter. i'm being abused. yeah and being being abused. yeah and being being lectured by people that they want to book and they they want to book you and they want you why they not. want to tell you why they not. because on gb news. yeah. because you're on gb news. yeah. i believe getting i can't believe i'm getting lectured people lectured on tolerance by people who can't even tolerate gluten. it's ridiculous. anyway let's have a quick run through tomorrow's front pages. we've got the daily leading with saying offenders left off crime just by saying sorry. that said , not a recommendation to go out and start offending the telegraph has pm beggars on

crack down on crime. the guardian any chance chiefs sound alarm on spiralling staff shortage . is the times as over shortage. is the times as over 800 sewage spills a day . the 800 sewage spills a day. the express has tory fight to close migrant loopholes. and finally we've got the daily star with all poor blimey. it's going to rain cats, dogs and those are your front pages . we begin with your front pages. we begin with the daily mail, josh. yes. sex offenders let off crimes just by saying sorry, over 1000, including rapists, escaped with a no criminal record. and this is unbelievable . i mean, we as is unbelievable. i mean, we as a country have a terrible history of . with people who commit sex of. with people who commit sex crimes. i think it's1% of rapes actually go to the court even . i actually go to the court even. i don't think that's how many actually go to jail. well, that's 1% of i

actually go to jail. well, that's1% of i mean, actually go to jail. well, that's 1% of i mean, that's the that's1% of i mean, that's the perception or self—reported . i perception or self—reported. i don't know. all i know is, it seems to be a very little . yeah. seems to be a very little. yeah. is the idea the and some of the cases they're talking about is crazy in terms like child rape , crazy in terms like child rape, just like just horrible things. and this is part of because i was a community resolutions, it was a community resolutions, it was meant to be dealing with these kind of low impact crimes . but i guess to cut back laws or they've done they've kind of offered them to much worse crimes . it just seems crimes. it just seems unbelievable that this is this has out. and is there any has come out. and is there any reason as why they're reason as to why they're actually doing this? is keep actually doing this? is to keep they have jail space. they don't have jail space. well, imagine that's what the well, i imagine that's what the original intent of the whole policy was. but the fact that now the police or courts are sort of applying it to sex offences is, you you commit a sex offence, you go to jail and that's it, you know, and the fact they don't have a record at the end of it is suppose that you say sorry, maybe pay a fine or i mean we don't

or whatever. i mean we don't have the rest of the paper to sort get into it. but if what sort of get into it. but if what is saying is true, i mean, is saying is true, it's i mean, it's disgusting. it says they're supposed easing out court sanctions low crimes, sanctions for low crimes, although obviously rape is not a low level crime, but it seems as though police gave out community resolutions in over a thousand cases in 2021 and 2022, including several involving child rape. right these and community resolutions that's when the community finds some sort of punishment that and is a local is seen as as visible making the criminal kind castration which yeah you . think castration which yeah you. think for something like child rape those can involve, you know, some some burning tires. yeah we're making the work with children because your can children because your kids can be. yeah, either i think be. yeah, but either i think it's not a good idea to kind of downplay importance of rape convictions . yeah. yeah, convictions. yeah. yeah, absolutely. yeah and moving on, what we've got in the front of the telegraph and the well, a kid begging for 16. so you see that harry potter? yeah he's

great. stunted growth and also a picture of iain duncan smith's enormously wide head at the bottom of the page. on your left but looks normal to me yeah big ego dig out of yeah so rishi sunak he going to get he's going to get tough right. he is because he's a little and he wants people to think he's tough going to get tough on anti—social behaviour. not a rape charges obviously, but just people mostly people sleeping rough. mostly but of a renaissance but it's kind of a renaissance of the georgian era vagrancy act which were meant to it would was meant to criminalise all rough sleepers but in practise didn't really because not only so much you can do in london he's actually trying to give the police power to crack on public display any beggars causing pubuc display any beggars causing public distress. i guess people tube stops begging for change really bother me. for the same woman in bethnal green for like 20 years. yeah. although i have them in st park and parts them in st james park and parts of i've seen organised of london i've seen organised drop people off and they've all got same signs written in got the same signs written in same writing. so it's not as if they're, just

they're, you know, just individuals who who are starving and need the money to buy food. it's an organised network harvesting the from them. do you think they deliberately do. misspellings a cycle misspellings as like a cycle article trek. i think that just just comes as a natural when . just comes as a natural when. you're doing this as it's always writing one of these gangs. that's what i would do. i would deliberately like bad deliberately do like bad rash, shaky make say, shaky handwriting to make say, oh, look, you can't write properly . i'm to give it. properly. i'm going to give it. i'm saying, yeah i'm not i'm just saying, yeah i'm not saying and we've got to saying i am. and we've got to strategy things. strategy these things. yeah, well, controlling dog will well, the controlling dog will get got get a dog, make sure it's got a disability. they feel sorry for . more money. you . you give you more money. you really this or as well? really thought this or as well? yeah. no, planning for my yeah. no, i'm planning for my retirement. well, know retirement. well, you know if you've india, i have few you've been to india, i have few times work. do. i mean times for work. you do. i mean you have heard stories by people who live there generational who live there of generational self yeah where people self injury. yeah where people remove own remove parts of their own body to money stuff. so to to more money and stuff. so to then big as they do right. then as big as they do right. i mean and also i've got a friend mine, he works for a for a homeless charity. it's such a complicated issue. it isn't just

a case of finding people to get off the street or, offering them accommodation. you know, a lot them have obviously mental health conditions long deliberately opt out of society don't have those don't want have those accommodation it's far form more complicated it's not just about having or two police interactions or whatever that isn't what is going to deal with. the weird thing with the article said that they article was they said that they were they were trying were thinking they were trying to ban laughing gas because of the creates i thought the mayhem it creates i thought laughing was illegal. laughing gas was illegal. i thought no thought it was. no, no apparently. no, apparently you can used to whip can just buy is used to whip cream there's not cream but you know there's not an epidemic of cream whipping before just using it to good for a few seconds i think the leaving those little kind of stuff everywhere around our tyres they're just they're annoying kind of the environment don't care about people like od'ing on lastly is the so the littering thing is pretty difficult to overdose on it as well you've got to have a big canister from a hospital. no them giving anybody advice or any experience on drug i tried to yeah tried any drugs never smoked a cigarette but then a

friend of mine had gave birth at their home at the big tanners. the right . yeah, it was the best the right. yeah, it was the best 3 seconds of my life. i thought about bringing to edinburgh about bringing some to edinburgh or the or previews just to get the audience little audience going little bit. anything helps the anything that helps ease the jokes. no more than the gas anything that helps ease the jokes.|'ll more than the gas anything that helps ease the jokes.|'ll do are than the gas anything that helps ease the jokes.|'ll do it. than the gas anything that helps ease the jokes.|'ll do it. next the gas anything that helps ease the jokes.|'ll do it. next up, gas anything that helps ease the jokes.|'ll do it. next up, we've well, i'll do it. next up, we've got the time george. well they got the time george. well they got front. yeah. over got in the front. yeah. over hundred spills a day so hundred sewage spills a day so this is water companies. i personally think should be nationalised or renationalise. yeah because there's no competition fighting this. i mean what they've done over the last is absolutely last few years is absolutely destroy many our rivers and destroy many of our rivers and our outlets in the sea and now they're sort of finally being called account and they say, oh, but we're going to have to put up prices as opposed to up the prices of as opposed to investing money you investing the money that. you made profit away made some profit taking away back to france or whatever . so back to france or whatever. so and that turns french people. they've stolen our money from water. water, as they call it . water. water, as they call it. yeah. so 300,000 times last year were , raw sewage was dumped into

were, raw sewage was dumped into . coastal areas and rivers across , england. and not just across, england. and not just seems unbelievable figures and it's only now that now that have finally been holding these companies to account. yeah. that they are that seems to be it's going down a little bit i mean that does sound an awful lot. 300,000 times raw sewage is dumped into the sea is my kids. we collect our own water. my house is brazilian. i grew up in jungle. we didn't put a coffee can on collect on this really nice free tea. i highly nice mix free tea. i highly suggested i will thank you so much for coming out but it is interesting i mean water is provided. we've got a capitalist market system for these water companies. but to change your you've actually got to sell house and buy another house. so say the catchment area for that provider so , it's not really a provider so, it's not really a free market or lefty know only for certain things that don't work exactly . it's all about work exactly. it's all about things that don't really work. pointless tests are delaying cancer care, nhs warned. this is something we always about.

something we always talk about. inefficiency the nhs inefficiency within the nhs system. i in nhs. but of system. i in the nhs. but of course there mistakes made course there mistakes are made and something like if you get lung cancer you send for an x—ray that doesn't diagnose whether have lung cancer or not. yeah, so you need a ct scan. so there's a lot of waste as we always . and now they're trying always. and now they're trying to get on top of it again. how this is we've got to this point where i mean we feels like we live in a somewhat modern era where could have before this oh let's cut that that costs a lot money or or time that is used. we get to treatment. yeah. so that's seemingly finally on top of it , i'm that's seemingly finally on top of it, i'm always just dismayed , bewildered by how well it's got so far. yeah, i think the is so thick that changing anything is like near impossible it seems like you know. yeah including this the stuff they want to cover their own bases with the cancer thing want to take had they want to test everything don't they. yeah. yeah yeah. they want to make sure they're not going to be pulled on

anything. anyway we finished anything. and anyway we finished the oh the with the daily star. oh right. oh poor blimey. it's going to rain cats. dogs, apparently there's a huge deluge of rain heading our way. so cover up right. of rain heading our way. so cover up right . that's of rain heading our way. so cover up right. that's half of their sort of frontline . it's their sort of frontline. it's about the weather. the weather? yeah. so it's going to be sunny. i don't know if they've been doing this for a while. and the daily always says there's going to are going to be to be some trees are going to be heat wave, there's to be heat wave, there's going to be hail or snow. there's hail stones or snow. there's always just the boring old always just the same boring old british it's just british weather. it's just brilliant. about brilliant. let's drizzle about nine salt . put some nine degrees of salt. put some of your only fan stories on, the front page. yet you have interesting stuff in the middle . anyway, that's front pages . anyway, that's the front pages . the way we're going to get into cheery like brexit into more cheery like brexit damages police strip searching children and dystopian surveillance stations . see in surveillance stations. see in a couple of minutes .

welcome back to headline news with me leo kearse . i'm joined with me leo kearse. i'm joined by the brilliant josh henry and scott caputo . i know it's the scott caputo. i know it's the first time anybody is described as i'm sorry, i didn't mean thoroughly hilarious. oh really time your your good your friend thank you very professional we're kicking off this section with the independent and people are still crying about brexit just so let me just get this page down. brexit damage as big as covid says , we are predicting as covid says, we are predicting five years before recover the office for budget responsibility. that's basically they're going, yes, the covid pandemic is a big deal. and yes, energy price crisis with the war in ukraine. but the same magnitude has been brexit and let's just not pretend that it had an impact on our economy. this is what the experts i'd like to pretend that it hasn't had an impact on our economy. i

okay. well, it has . this is why okay. well, it has. this is why i tell people experts have it's basically 4% this is what they're saying. britain's gdp 4% smaller than if we had , although smaller than if we had, although it's greater than that over the next five years, it'll increase and it will become 4% a year which then starts aggregate also they will be are they've been wrong before about britain's economic prospects and looking at the past as well. so this the data that we already have and also it's not just them it's bunch of other people are all the centre for economic reform we really we've lost 33 billion and lost trade . look people said and lost trade. look people said that this is what's going to happenif that this is what's going to happen if you create these trade barriers. of course it is going to have an impact. now people wanted for a myriad wanted brexit for a myriad different reasons. obviously the economy wasn't the centre or the core for brexit. for me it was one of the reasons why i. but when you put it on brexit, i

mean i think the mistake impact that theresa may made in her candidate in her office was , she candidate in her office was, she put migrants the economy. and that's what made brexit worse. and we're still paying for that. we're still paying for her mistakes. but then brexit to led benefits such as the vaccine roll, it was much speedier in the uk because we weren't constrained by you say you didn't believe in the vaccine before the shock after boris johnson told the british, i didn't vote for. is it after 1000 till the british to take it on the chin? that's what his first response to that? well, you know, suzy's a lot of women, normal people supermarket bills are they're more are £5.8 billion. they're more expensive because of because of this excuse because you can have everything bad in britain. no, no, everything it's a there no, no. everything it's a there are other things, but this is bad. and let's just be real about it. on. this is not about it. come on. this is not pretend. it's like that. it hasn't impact. i think hasn't had an impact. i think you're overlooking the good things this annoyed lot things that this annoyed a lot of do. well, that's of liberals do. well, that's what you all well, don't what you all are. well, i don't think well . i will take

think it as well. i will take a 4% cut in gdp to annoy my but a struggling family who's paying more . the supermarket isn't more. the supermarket isn't going don't know going to. well, you don't know how they're enjoying how much they're enjoying being annoyed. how much they're enjoying being annoyed . it's fine. i think when annoyed. it's fine. i think when you're £1,000,000,000, when you're £1,000,000,000, when you're annoys you, you're hungry what annoys you, your growling stomach actually what don't what liberals think and i don't think nobody to think nobody's really nobody to death to me i think look let's just be about this if we can take the toxicity out of it. be honest , it's take the toxicity out of it. be honest, it's happened. yeah, fine. yeah but let's be honest about what's actually happened, not put our heads in not what. just put our heads in the then let's see what the sand and then let's see what we to move and make it we can do to move and make it better. not acknowledge the situation can't fix it. situation. and you can't fix it. well, what i think is well, this is what i think is going we're going to going to happen. we're going to we're to see negative we're going to see negative economic impact of brexit dissipating and dissipating as the eu and britain freely britain start trading freely with each other. because we've seen past couple seen over the past couple of years like not we're not years like we're not we're not enemies united in the enemies actually united in the face autocracy and the face of autocracy and in the world. nine billions and billions have been billions of pounds have been lost short term. but lost in the short term. but you've look long term. you've got to look long term. you sometimes you take you know, sometimes you take short term hit for a long term, good. anyway, got good. anyway, we've got the telegraph and that

telegraph now and it seems that artificial intelligence still artificial intelligence is still pretty it praises pretty stupid as it praises socialists. yes, you're socialists. scott yes, you're delusional. i think what's absolutely out of your i think i know what's going to happen with brexit. we'll talk that the break a left wing google a chat box thinks brexit was a bad idea yes oh bah which is the google chat box kind of in competition with open ai's chat gb is a large language language model that unique responses to questions when asked what it thinks of brexit it says oh bad idea what it thinks of jeremy corbyn very intelligent man , corbyn very intelligent man, very sensitive, very down to earth and, on and on. and it asks does it actually exist. there's a blue a teenage girl at the keyboard with pointy glasses. it asks what it thinks of the conservative party and they of they focus on money not so much and stuff like that. so yes it tends to favour vegans, it's that kind of thing. it's a weird progressive machine, but

it makes sense because it uses the internet. it gather its information, but also it's tweaked the biases or could fit into it by is by his own us by its grammar. but that doesn't mean that's a proved in this case just be a sheer case it might just be a sheer numbers game where terms of numbers game where in terms of jeremy basically says jeremy corbyn basically says jeremy corbyn basically says jeremy and jeremy corbyn, he has and authenticity got a hundred thousand people of his followers there these twittering there these cultists twittering that basically twitter you got fighting about 200 people, two on the jews. nobody else wants to talk. jeremy corbyn followers go . he's only to talk. jeremy corbyn followers go. he's only going to to talk. jeremy corbyn followers go . he's only going to get the go. he's only going to get the numbers and that's what it picks up yeah so and i imagine in up on. yeah so and i imagine in other issues the same as what it says with it supports trans women whatever and it says it women or whatever and it says it trans women, they says it says that there are loads of definitions for what a woman is that's so . so she sounds like that's so. so she sounds like a labour mp . yeah. yeah hasn't labour mp. yeah. yeah hasn't decided yet i think. what is picking up on and like you said is more liberal responses to certain subject matter. i think that's because there's a vast majority of people online on

facebook and on the internet social media outlets that that favour this. you know, it's do you follow your feed and then it'll balance itself . yeah. it'll balance itself. yeah. well, to understand well, we've also to understand that it's not just a free thinking machine learning thing is controlled by humans. and we know that tech companies have got a huge left wing bias. well, you that to the point that i think google has own 98% of his political donations went to the democrats rather than the republicans. mean republicans. so i mean i unimaginably vast bias and that's feeding into into like say we have this isn't what they saw this goes i do agree of course there is bias of course across software and stuff the reason jeremy corbyn. no, but chat but again it's not say coming from an individual it's becoming it's coming from the source of the information that's not this is works in a different way. no it doesn't charge it charges and google is controlled by people but is in gpt. charges and google is controlled by people but is in gpt . why by people but is in gpt. why didn't they just call it chat g b t? that sounds or just just shout anyway chat t t when one

thing the definition of woman says is an adult female human or to a female human with two x chromosomes. so there is a bias. that's what i'm saying. the responses are not the same every time. so the responses we're reading by the telegraph because , the telegraph's bias might be, the responses they focussed on, they ask the questions, but they might have gotten hundreds of other responses they're other responses that they're ignonng other responses that they're ignoring in this article. right, right. interesting. yeah. that could it. could possibly explain it. anyway, got guardian anyway, we've got the guardian now reason we can't now for and some reason we can't work racist. are work out racist. police are targeting children more targeting black children more than or chinese . josh than indian or chinese. josh well, that a loaded intro that i hate black children much more likely to be strip in england wales than their white peers. that's the report out there saying. black children are six times overrepresented in strip searches during 2018 to 2022 of the 3000 recorded strip searches

, 38% of those children were black, and with black children only making up 6% of the population and that means they six times overrepresented . so six times overrepresented. so some of these things received little publicity. i believe there was a 15 year old girl strip searched on her period . strip searched on her period. she was told to spit her cheek by a strand of buttocks or whatever. and it also says that there's a lot of instances here of them breaking that the breaking the rules as they do these strips, i.e. have an officer with a different to the to the child to ignore what genden to the child to ignore what gender. the officer identifies us we don't. but i think the situation they just be like but also women we got public children's being strip searched in public view no appropriate aduu in public view no appropriate adult so it seems there is an issue with strip searches . this issue with strip searches. this country treating black kids as adults is , what they're doing adults is, what they're doing right now and, i mean, do you know why they would be doing this? i don't know the mentality the police currently seems to be

in question and. we're reviewing what's on in the police department. so we've seen the case report came out last week. the accused, the metropolitan police have raised this and sexism, homophobia, you know , sexism, homophobia, you know, all the things that make someone fun at, a party, but institutionalised racism. yeah. yeah. which which we've heard . yeah. which which we've heard. but also that there are of but we also that there are of certain in crime statistics as the perpetrators. so there's articles about that which is not it's not but it a i think is it's not but it a i think is it's a valid i mean obviously it's a valid i mean obviously it's the guardian so they don't they don't dig into any possible causes of this overrepresentation of strip searching. but i mean, that would seem to make sense to me. that would seem to be a logical but there's overzealousness in that. case that those that. that's the case that those statistics case the statistics are the case and the police to forward and police need to come forward and say that respond to this and say the reason this is because of these or it because the these numbers or it because the police visual in the police tend to be visual in the people they go out to see there's a phenomenon i never read phone called adult, which

is where supposedly they're treating black children more treating black children more treat more like to be treat as a as adult as seen as being right. i'm assuming, because they as adult as seen as being right. i'm assuming , because they see i'm assuming, because they see them more as a threat than they do chinese and indian children . do chinese and indian children. you said of the same age. yeah. more physical threat. now more of a physical threat. now can please on the can we please move on from the story? let's move on from this horrible well, go horrible burn. well, we still go koreans anyway. got the koreans anyway. we've got the telegraph donald telegraph now. and donald trump is campaign trail is back on the campaign trail with a of fun new insults with a bunch of fun new insults . randy, sanctimonious . he's the . randy, sanctimonious. he's the governor florida. i thought that trump had already announced his candidacy. weeks months ago, but apparently this is his first big lie. who he hasn't done it officially . he's sticking his officially. he's sticking his feet in the mud. and waco texas, which is a loaded town , and he's which is a loaded town, and he's decided that ron is his . the decided that ron is his. the thing is, it's a waste of his time because ron's numbers are dropping in florida and nationally in the us . his nationally in the us. his presidential numbers , his presidential numbers, his support and trump's are going and he's clearly the candidate . and he's clearly the candidate. ihope and he's clearly the candidate. i hope he waste his time on nikki haley. she's got no

traction whatsoever and he's saying that she's a warmonger , saying that she's a warmonger, that she's just going to send everywhere in the world and waste your time. she he he calls her, i think, the wicked witch of the some place she was the past. i wasn't. she was. he knows it really well. she's a big supporter of his for a long he hasn't been sort of attacking . he's got his underlings to do it. yes he's called her. where was it? i this one. he didn't. oh, no, you're right. get mr. i guess he called her the yeah he did . yes hillary, some of these did. yes hillary, some of these he's not really bringing a lot of class to campaign because he's called a star. they had sex with horse feet , the one he may with horse feet, the one he may go to go to prison because that's that's more in his judgement . why are you sleeping judgement. why are you sleeping with a woman ? your money, a with a woman? your money, a terrible shopper. although he got a better deal with her, bill clinton did with the women he paid off. yeah. yeah. so, you

know shows that donald trump can negotiate at will. anyway, moving on, we've got the guardian now and a warning of a workplace . josh yeah. dystopian workplace. josh yeah. dystopian surveillance disproportionately targets female and targets young female and minority workers . a think tank. minority workers. a think tank. it's calling for the uk government to make stronger to protect workers from intrusive , protect workers from intrusive, which is a somewhat new phenomena and certainly with people working from home a lot more . so they've got these more. so they've got these things like keyboard it like it will see how many strokes you you keep that's the wrong you on keep that's the wrong size not deliver it. yeah i apologise . size not deliver it. yeah i apologise. i'm size not deliver it. yeah i apologise . i'm sure so doing apologise. i'm sure so doing that right i what you do a lot of times. yes. and the different websites you and also it sort of checks you during meetings and if you're there and there's a camera on your computer so easy for you check. yeah yeah. and the young person portion of this is the essentially 19 to 29 year olds whatever that they're screw but also they will work because i've been that age i've done

these low paid menial jobs and you do whatever you can to get away the least amount of work. yeah, yeah. you get. that's yeah, yeah. as you get. that's what need to be constantly what you need to be constantly under surveillance. the under surveillance. yes the reason. yes, of course. and we under surveillance. yes the rea approve of course. and we under surveillance. yes the rea approve of it. urse. and we under surveillance. yes the rea approve of it. yeah.and we under surveillance. yes the rea approve of it. yeah. yeah/e all approve of it. yeah. yeah well, for the 16 to 29 year olds , please see if dare my strikes on the streets of their lives. so a 22 year old stroke on his keyboard a couple hours during the day i can show you some sites and the break anyway coming we've got white right wing comedians the most evil of all comedians , according to all comedians, according to a left wing comedian. why and angela's david is causing and why the bbc is also causing controversy with slug. so you had a couple of minutes .

welcome back . headline news

welcome back. headline news kicking off this section we've the daily mail and eddie are the said right wing comedians , said right wing comedians, sexist and racist . that's sexist and racist. that's incorrect, eddie. i'm also transphobic and homophobic. scott tell us more. well apparently it is. it's facing backlash after claiming that right . comedians can, like you right. comedians can, like you said, be and racist. susie is his new name, although you can call him a him her. she them. they. that. he's greedy . why they. that. he's greedy. why would you choose your name to be sufie? would you choose your name to be susie? that's a doesn't. sorry, susie. he's out there. you didn't have the choice. but if i had a choice and i was going to be well, i would choose be well, i would not choose susie. would you spell susie. and why would you spell it? susie. and why would you spell h? you susie. and why would you spell it? you said? why? oh, my it? as you said? why? oh, my god. guess is the female equivalent of eddie susie. it eddie's not particularly cool eddie's not a particularly cool name hard. what's. name anyway. he is hard. what's. what's said about this what's he said about this anyway? says. did that anyway? he says. she did that well. he ran as we know. he ran labour candidate for sheffield in and now he's in last and now he's, he's offering his services as prime minister. but he's saying that right . comedians, when asked at

right. comedians, when asked at a talk tv interview he said, well, they can tend to be racist and a bit bigoted . and they and a bit bigoted. and they said, well, which ones you mean? and he said, i don't really know. and then they said the host. so. well, clearly some are, some who just happen be are, some who just happen to be conservative. they're good conservative. they're very good comedians. yourself comedians. maybe like yourself and again, i and eddie are said again, i don't and eddie are said again, i dont do and eddie are said again, i don't do have a list don't know. do you have a list of said he sounds bit out of of he said he sounds bit out of touch when he says this eddie izzard these right wing izzard see oh these right wing comedians, new comedians izzard see oh these right wing concoming new comedians izzard see oh these right wing concoming at new comedians izzard see oh these right wing concoming at me.1ew comedians izzard see oh these right wing concoming at me. so comedians izzard see oh these right wing concoming at me. so comlike ns are coming at me. so he's like one of old school comedians, one of the old school comedians, the seventies eighties, the seventies and eighties, and warned counterfeit warned about the counterfeit comedy coming. are comedy coming up and coming. are you? i'm very, very young you? yeah i'm very, very young because he. thank you. he's not even he's not even working circuit or doing stand—up. i know concert hall know anymore. he's concert hall , he's doing a theatre type presentation but yeah of course he's out the loop in that he's out of the loop in that way. in terms what comedy is way. in terms of what comedy is out and what and also out there and what not. and also what to be what he determine to be transphobic . yeah, know, transphobic. yeah, you know, these it's and what we've seen this week people taking things out context whatnot . yeah out of context and whatnot. yeah yeah.i out of context and whatnot. yeah yeah. i think quality conservative comedians have a lot stake think in lot more at stake and i think in a it's a deeper skill

a way it's a deeper skill because let's face it most audiences particularly i mean diversity matter outside of london we all but within london we all know but within london we all know but within london playing the circuit london of playing the circuit you artists going to you most artists are going to lean they aren't, lean left even if they aren't, they public. they pretend to be in public. and so you're bleeding to the and so if you're bleeding to the right you try and right wing jokes. how refreshing for one thing, of thing, compared to the rest of comedians on the bill, including myself. real skill myself. but also it's real skill to keep those people your side. so talk about politics at so let's talk about politics at all. genius . so let's talk about politics at all. genius. go so let's talk about politics at all. genius . go from all. boring it's genius. go from here is to get to the end of 20 minutes without committing a hate crime. it's difficult you know what i mean? but it does seem mean. it's a really hackneyed that he's using right wing comedians being sex the wing comedians being sex is the reason we've reason we particularly we've seen left comedians seen so many left comedians being found of sexual harassment . i'm a massive i was a massive fan of his those those early dvds . vhs is what used to watch dvds. vhs is what used to watch one i met him as he did a tv show with him. i found it to be a little bit and offensive and not massively bright. i'm i'm not massively bright. i'm i'm not saying i'm some genius or

anything, but i like shocked by someone i'd respected and thought so highly of. yeah. he when it got down, we had a few tncky when it got down, we had a few tricky conversations. i was like, are you fully you're not picking up on these it was a bit weird like it was just beautiful to watch on stage though i have done of shows as top done a couple of shows as top secret. yeah, yeah. he really he really and moves really banters well and moves between subject matter and between subject matter great and he fantastic. was really he looks fantastic. i was really i really happy to be on set i was really happy to be on set sharing sharing a stage with sharing a sharing a stage with him. still it's to him. yeah. but still it's to great from josh he's great hear from josh that he's actually person. yeah actually a terrible person. yeah the scientific the telegraph, a scientific study trans athletes is in study on trans athletes is in trouble for being scientific . trouble for being scientific. accurate. yes . athlete accurate. josh yes. athlete research rejected after professor called a trans woman a male, which is of course, what they are, which is why they're called trans women. oh are you anyway? so this is from the university's king's college london . it's their ethics panel, london. it's their ethics panel, which is made up of non academics, by the way . and they academics, by the way. and they cited this book citing equality and diversity concerns. now what

he's doing , and diversity concerns. now what he's doing, dr. and diversity concerns. now what he's doing , dr. john armstrong, he's doing, dr. john armstrong, is in the study, he's trying to look into female sportspeople and their attitudes towards trans women coming into sport essentially and because he used scientific terms male for men crazy that they have basically said no you can't do that and lots of sports women have come forward and said well, this is actually a very unexplored area we need to look into because you can't stop when you're fighting onune can't stop when you're fighting online about this stuff and people, care , you people, women don't care, you know, and it's like they do and you see a lot of women now in sports, sportswomen their sport like the woman who was like the biggest surfer and meanwhile, the cyclists as well are and i'm a woman and i care about. the cyclists as well are and i'm a woman and i care about . yeah, a woman and i care about. yeah, you're a great sportswoman. you the thing is, i think that people care and i think they people do care and i think they just know to how put their just don't know to how put their case and it's just, you case forward. and it's just, you

know, doing just that. you know, i studio here in i go to yoga studio here in london and they had put up these w signs on the changing room doors and nothing was any longer genden doors and nothing was any longer gender, same theatre. last night i was gigging , they put on the i was gigging, they put on the thing and they said, this one has is gender neutral, but ones have urinals in and whatever. and friend of mine that and a friend of mine said that he'd done the gig like the week before and his mum would come and go to toilet. and wouldn't go to the toilet. yeah, there a female yeah, well there was a female teacher there who said oppose teacher there who said i oppose this, some guy this, i don't want some guy walking sandals in show. walking in sandals in the show. so the next so we complained and the next day back and they put up. day went back and they put up. so if you do these going back to a normal phone, the gender neutral they haven't neutral toilets, they haven't actually gender neutral actually created gender neutral toilets. with their toilets. so the ugly with their designs oh this designs is like, oh this is a this is a gender neutral, but this is a gender neutral, but this toilet contains urinals this toilet contains urinals this is gender neutral toilet. this is a gender neutral toilet. but the toilet tampon dispensers. so no, it's a new is the women's and the men's just got the nasty first and got to read the nasty first and i've been holding on my thing for couple of oh goodness for a couple of days oh goodness noidea for a couple of days oh goodness no idea what he's talking about.

anyway i'd like to , i'd like to anyway i'd like to, i'd like to see it though. i mean he's no michelangelo's statue . david has michelangelo's statue. david has been accused of being . think been accused of being. think there's no way it's . you know, there's no way it's. you know, if it's junk is just far too small scope that it is but you know so long time ago he was he called he was a goat leading a sheepherder. that's why he was naked . apparently sheepherders naked. apparently sheepherders in the good days were naked. in the good old days were naked. you know that statue is at first meant to be completely public. there on top of church there a podium on top of church in italy that the church was meant for. so it's public art. yeah that can see but apparently now florida the mayor of now in florida the mayor of florence was to a 30 inner city as a teacher to get an award and stood in front of my other depiction of michelangelo's david and had a selfie take of herself and the show to tell her students when she went back to school she taught and people freaked out and parents called it and she showed this to my students. so yeah. all students. and so it yeah. all the kind of trouble you can imagine ensued the school tallahassee classic is a private

christian institution . however, christian institution. however, it's also a liberal arts. so christian institution. however, it's also a liberal arts . so the it's also a liberal arts. so the contradiction and so what this person decided to do was sort apologise and then it came out . apologise and then it came out. there has been a history since the statue was actually created. yeah the people being disturbed by it were , the genitals have by it were, the genitals have been covered and where they put boxer shorts and david did in dubai , they had a sort of dubai, they had a sort of special area covering not only the special were going to be ianed the special were going to be invited to go, they had but of course in dubai. i mean, you know that culture is capable but anyway so yes it's ridiculous pubuc anyway so yes it's ridiculous public art like this and then it talks about the sistine chapel in this article. and how disappointed and. well, i know exactly. yeah obviously trying to play with yourself in the sistine chapel is very difficult when you're actually grace the bottom . oh, the time of day. but bottom. oh, the time of day. but it's easier . bottom. oh, the time of day. but it's easier. you might think and have a lot of volunteer there. but yes , apparently those those but yes, apparently those those nudes caused controversy with the first painted you know 1500

years and this is actually a simpsons plotline as well. this was in the simpsons some some time as example of time ago as as an example of something ridiculous, an example of overreach of, you of sort of overreach of, you know, religious intolerance in schools. yeah. and she's been forced to resign. yes. yeah. incredible. yeah from a selfie. anyway i know. and david attenborough is also in trouble for things he's put slug on the bbc date wild isles. this is the new tv series defend the animal sex scenes in david afterwards new bbc series as a fact of life because as they say in previous series , seen love hunting and series, seen love hunting and the predator stuff and killing and whatnot, but they because this is a solo show, it's shot in the uk, there's not much of that going on. we don't have those, those kind of species here. and so they've had to sort of focus on other stuff, including adam's the first time you've ever been to see you've ever been able to see adam's going at it and adam's going going at it and that's the scientific best and supposedly they've got to hook hooked something

hooked willy something like that and woman like the guy and they the woman like the guy gets hooked in and then the lady ad i believe that's the technical term like swings them around we didn't ask you to do all this research. yeah it was all this research. yeah it was all yes it back to my wedding night from hunting to hunting. that's the point. i think i think i think they ran out of footage and they thought what they're going to put in they're a little like puzzle animals they they their they animals they find their food got it yeah they eat food they got it yeah they eat and meat we're all just wild and it was sniffing around one another just go to the another i think just go to the gay bar so i don't see, you know, why they're going after poor edinburgh. poor old edinburgh. yeah, they're guy. they're really nailing that guy. makes me really want to watch it. maybe it's it. so yeah, maybe it's a pubuchy it. so yeah, maybe it's a publicity stunt people publicity stunt to get people watching to it own more watching to make it own more exciting, going be. exciting, which is going to be. anyway, got the guardian anyway, we've got the guardian and oxbridge and an elitist oxbridge institution been accused institution has been accused of having bias. yeah having an oxbridge bias. yeah the bbc's rejected charges of elitist elitism aimed at university challenge. apparently give more favouritism to oxford and cambridge students than they do to other universities. they

offer the to all ten oxbridge colleges. i think that's. no, no there's hundreds of them but but but they give it 100. yeah, but, but they give it 100. yeah, but, but have ten slots and then there's like one for manchester university, one for sheffield. so it doesn't seem fair to the two i guess that would consider the people lesser. yeah yeah, yeah. but it's because they don't idiots show, they want don't idiots the show, they want to it interesting, they to make it interesting, they don't suggesting don't want. are you suggesting that or that people from university or sheffield university in their accent. they people accent. no, they want people that. we can all relate. they're not necessarily from manchester or north, obviously not necessarily from manchester or you north, obviously not necessarily from manchester or you know,»rth, obviously not necessarily from manchester or you know, people yiously not necessarily from manchester or you know, people fromy not necessarily from manchester or you know, people from mass, and you know, people from mass, but there. so i'm but they wound up there. so i'm sure there's long story behind sure there's a long story behind that. anyway, oxbridge that. anyway, they want oxbridge people and there's can finish this. i tried to get right couldn't i'm not i'm couldn't write i'm not i'm privileged i'm pretty couldn't write i'm not i'm privileybut i'm pretty couldn't write i'm not i'm privileybut i i'm pretty couldn't write i'm not i'm privileybut i feel 'm pretty couldn't write i'm not i'm privileybut i feel worse tty couldn't write i'm not i'm privileybut i feel worse about stupid but i feel worse about being on this show. what did you get try. go. at least i get to you try. go. at least i tried. i'm scottish when i'm. when was there i grew up. no when i was there i grew up. no no scottish went to it went to oxbridge. those were the days. yeah, university yeah, i went to the university of stirling all right. the harvard of the north. study of stirling all right. the h study of the north. study of stirling all right. the h study of film north. study of stirling all right. the h study of film nortimedia,tudy of stirling all right. the h study of film nortimedia, fary a study of film and media, far less of anything so depressing.

you tell people on a day you tell people that on a day when single for so long when they're single for so long anyway. so they did favour anyway. yes. so they did favour those because i do think there were oxbridge were hundreds of oxbridge colleges. there's about colleges. yeah. there's about 300 roles on asbos. no 300 roles on asbos. yeah no sorry . 70 oxbridge colleges. sorry. 70 oxbridge colleges. right. yeah that's the maths. that's why i didn't get it. that's why i didn't get it. that's why i didn't get it. that's why you do. anyway. coming up so much on the show up after the break. god why afros are no band . you're free. why are no band. you're free. why your sweat? stop anxiety and someone takes get out of jail free card see you in a couple of minutes .

welcome back. the headliners. we've got the guardian now and a professor is trying to keep the inside of our minds private property. josh yes. professor trying to protect a private from technology. this is professor

farahani . let's try. it looks farahani. let's try. it looks like a jerky boys. this is a phone call i found a honey. i'm to the jerky boys . got it. if to the jerky boys. got it. if one of those argues a new book, it's called the battlefield brain. she's saying that we need legislation now because all this stuff is , all this science stuff is, all this science fiction stuff is going to be reality pretty soon in terms of being able read your brain's being able to read your brain's thought crimes, those thought crimes, whatever. those are minority report . are the day minority report. yeah. of that. so we yeah. and all of that. so we need the legislation. need need the legislation. you need these neuro rights laws which actually some kind of like chile is already is the first nation to put some of this stuff into practise also wisconsin in america and yeah, it makes sense. i mean, it's scary to think what's going happen. i saw this sci fi thing recently where they like phones were they were like the phones were literally you put little literally just you put a little thing temple piece of thing on your temple piece of metal that's how you and metal and that's how you and they already did a story the they already we did a story the other day like these killer robots that controlled by soldiers essentially through helmets. this helmets. right so that this stuff coming read at the stuff coming it can read at the moment but was the kind thing

she's requesting is different isn't it because like chile these laws in place about going into your brain but she's saying we need to we need to get laws where we can own our brain protected territory. right. so it's the final part of the of property. the cartesian essentially is protect ourselves from the military . what she's from the military. what she's saying. yeah, right. keeping right and turned into a manchurian candidate interesting stuff. anyway, we've got the telegraph now and it's bad news for prince andrew. i'm afraid sweat can make you feel less anxious. scott, tell us more . we anxious. scott, tell us more. we all know sweat makes us horny, right now i'm holding you. i know you're sweating so i know it's actually something i started. my plan is working perfectly, but a study has found that social is reduced. when people underwent therapy while exposed to body odour apparently under arm sweat from volunteers was waved around. these people who are going through mental anxiety treatment and it made them calmer . anxiety treatment and it made them calmer. it made them feel safer , made them feel safe ,

safer, made them feel safe, think the smell was familiar so links is making us all anxious. it is yeah. yeah. is you feel better now. yeah apparently there's the research recruited 48 women. all whom suffer from social anxiety. like women do. and it's divided into three groups of 618. and over two days, they all therapy for social anxiety . and at some social anxiety. and at some point they rubbed with this sweat and that was considered sex crime. now they respond in favourably, i think. right women they they want to be rubbed with sweat . i they they want to be rubbed with sweat. i think we'll they they want to be rubbed with sweat . i think we'll leave that sweat. i think we'll leave that there. we've got the expression there. we've got the expression there. and prince harry is probably the only fervent anti—racist who's killed 25 afghan men, at least this inspired tomorrow josh? indeed, harry's killing admission to a spark human blood protests at st paups spark human blood protests at st paul's cathedral. this is andrei modo. kit mulder can be a tough one. whatever he's a russian artist. he deals in blood. he's

exiled at the moment because he did something about putin. so he's sort of on the run from the putin loyalists . but you and putin loyalists. but you and yeah. so basically disgusted and by by this so he's going to do this thing where he basically gets this this is like say blood is sort of medium of choice and he's got all these donations from afghan men and is going to pump it through a crest and then project that crest onto donations of blood. you mean donations of blood. you mean donations of blood. you mean donations of blood? yes. just. yeah they have to carry a little card for that, i guess. so like i am an artist or whatever i'm helping us. he was very, very when he heard these , you know, when he heard these, you know, prince harry's talking about all this is prince harry's book had written such cold, calculated ways. they didn't feel bad . it ways. they didn't feel bad. it just saw them as, yeah, chess pieces too to eliminated. well these are trained trained soldiers i very passionate soldiers i get very passionate about i like about chess so i don't like losing the little chess losing you see the little chess pieces people so. not pieces as people so. it's not such crime you. that's why such a crime for you. that's why i'm good at it. right me i'm so good at it. right me moving we've got the express moving on, we've got the express again and fans are banned

again and abba fans are banned from big curly perm wigs again and abba fans are banned f|in1 big curly perm wigs again and abba fans are banned f|in case big curly perm wigs again and abba fans are banned f|in case theybig curly perm wigs again and abba fans are banned f|in case they offend.y perm wigs again and abba fans are banned f|in case they offend people.wigs . in case they offend people. they eighties they must mean eighties footballers apparently of footballers got apparently of the voyage shows, which use the abba voyage shows, which use holograms to recreate band's iconic performances have issued a warning to attendees that they leave their hair pieces at home if they are afro style have been asked to avoid wearing wigs. apparently the wigs are culturally yes and not appropriate be worn as fancy dress that you'll get them taken away from you . yeah. the door. away from you. yeah. the door. yeah. what if you it down your trousers and put it on when you're inside. well then it might be hard to know which is which. you might and which. i think you might and they have people walking they might have people walking around with those around as they do with those events. apparently you know, events. but apparently you know, they this happening they they've seen this happening where want you to, where people don't want you to, you know, appropriate their culture, although i don't culture, although i just don't think i think it's think that an afro. i think it's i really mean this i think is racist . assume that a black racist. assume that it's a black . yes, there were some white people . us. yeah. yes i have a people. us. yeah. yes i have a boy. i mean, i have hair had hair. it's a big i don't blow

dry my hair. it's what call it juice. i've got a big jew fro but you'd be like would you be allowed to take your own hair? i mean, obviously behalf an afro, but would you be allowed to take your into an abacus? there your own into an abacus? there might accusations world your might be accusations world your way just so you know, you have your yeah. seems your own hair. yeah. it seems of. i don't know. did did you ever haven't done any of the members an yeah, they members have an afro. yeah, they did thing. everybody had did a thing. everybody had a pair there's just pair in the. there's just harking that period when harking back to that period when were having were that. they're just having fun. right. they have fun. god yeah right. they have funny blonde afros. okay. yeah maybe that. anyway, we're maybe try that. anyway, we're going and in one final going to try and in one final story 30 seconds, we've got story in 30 seconds, we've got the seems the only the star and. it seems the only get jail card is still get out of jail card is still being prince andrew. josh blow, paups being prince andrew. josh blow, paul's monopoly get out of jail free card after being pulled over police. this is over the police. this is a minnesota . yeah, just he was minnesota. yeah, he just he was pulled for some sort of crime and they sort of handed over a get jail freak on. they're like, oh, that's funny . but you go to oh, that's funny. but you go to jail, right you can you can try and bribe them with. the monopoly money. well, this is what some said online could be a

wag online . that's the dream . wag online. that's the dream. but yeah, so. but they were over on a world of for that. yeah but still you're going to jail like burnham. anyway, the show is oven burnham. anyway, the show is over, so let's take another quick look . monday's front pages quick look. monday's front pages with the daily mail with six offenders left off crimes just saying sorry . the telegraph saying sorry. the telegraph pleads with prime minister targets beggars on crack down on crime. the guardian has nhs chiefs soon alarm on spiralling staff shortages. the times has 800 sewage spills a day in the express has rebels fight to close migrant loopholes and finally the daily star has all poor. finally the daily star has all poor . it's finally the daily star has all poor. it's going to rain cats and dogs and those are your front pages and that's all we have time for i'm afraid. thank you so much to my guests josh howie and scott caputo. do try and see them live and join us tomorrow when simon will be in the hosting chair with paul cox

and josh howie on the panel and see you .

laughing gas to be banned under new drug laws as the prime minister moves to crack down on anti—social behaviour. good morning. at 6:00 on monday, the 27th of march, this is breakfast on tv news with eamonn holmes and isabel webster leaving the news this morning. rishi sunak is to announce new drug testing powers and the ban on laughing gas as part of his plan to get tough on anti—social behaviour. the levelling up sector . gerry the levelling up sector. gerry said the proposals would stop parks becoming drunk, taking

arenas