>> good evening. the top stories at 11:00 the prime minister says iran has menaced the middle east for far too long as he condemns this evening's missile attack on israel. sir keir starmer said he was deeply concerned that the region is on the brink and for the risk of miscalculation. downing street confirmed he's spoken to france's president macron and germany's chancellor olaf scholz. all three leaders condemn iran's attack in a televised address tonight, the prime minister publicly

supported israel's right to defend itself . defend itself. >> make no mistake , britain >> make no mistake, britain stands full square against such violence. we support israel's reasonable demand for the security of its people . security of its people. >> conservative leadership hopefuls robert jenrick and james cleverly have hit out at nigel farage's reform uk party. mr jenrick has suggested the party's popularity is down to tory failure and broken promises. and james cleverly ruled out a deal with farage to win back voters. the candidates were speaking on stage at the conservative party conference this afternoon . this afternoon. >> i think it's a symptom, not a cause.it >> i think it's a symptom, not a cause. it exists in its current state because we failed and by that i don't mean you, the members of the party. i mean we in westminster. >> we need to demonstrate that we are a proper conservative party because reform is a pale imitation of us. we don't need to be a pale imitation of them.

>> a 14 year old girl has been left with potentially life changing injuries after a suspected acid attack outside a school in west london, a boy aged 16 and a 27 year old woman were also injured after the substance, believed to be acidic, was thrown at the victims outside westminster academy yesterday afternoon. police believe the teenagers were approached by a lone suspect who was on an e—scooter with a member of staff then being left injured when she rushed to help. the suspect is described as tall , slim, black described as tall, slim, black male wearing dark clothing with his face obscured, possibly by a mask or balaclava . now, theatres mask or balaclava. now, theatres across the country dimmed their lights earlier this evening to honour the legacy of dame maggie smith, who died on friday at the age of 89. the star of screen and stage had multiple olivier awards, having appeared in the national theatre's debut season in 1963. on screen, she was perhaps best known for her roles in the harry potter film series, as well as downton abbey, the tv

series and buckingham palace , series and buckingham palace, has announced her royal highness princess beatrice and her husband edoardo mapelli mozzi are expecting their second child together, due in the early spring. the new arrival will be a sibling for the couple's daughter sienna, and the princess's stepson wolfie, who you can see in this picture here. the king has been informed and both families are delighted with the news with those of the latest gb news headlines. for now, i'm cameron walker. it's now, i'm cameron walker. it's now time for headlines for the very latest gb news direct to your smartphone, sign up to news alerts by scanning the qr code , alerts by scanning the qr code, or go to gbnews.com. >> forward slash alerts . >> forward slash alerts. >> forward slash alerts. >> thanks, cameron. >> thanks, cameron. >> hello and welcome to headliners. your first look at wednesday's newspapers with added value. laughter i'm josh howie. joining me tonight is the

comedy x—men. kerry marx and paul cox . that's the generation paul cox. that's the generation x guys. >> it's been a big news day. thatis >> it's been a big news day. that is the best i could write. >> i only come to in hear our introductions. >> you both got x in your name and you've had a busy day. i guess it is been a busy day. >> let's get straight to it. >> let's get straight to it. >> let's get straight to it. >> let's have a look at the front pages. >> we're going to go first with the daily telegraph iran attacks israel . the i the daily telegraph iran attacks israel. the i iran missile attack on israel sparks fear of new war. >> the guardian israel vows to retaliate after iran launches missile attack the metro. >> iran's new blitz at israel the fight iran fires missile barrage against israel. >> and finally, the times middle east erupts. >> and those are your front pages. >> and those are your front pages . first >> and those are your front pages. first up, >> and those are your front pages . first up, kerry, it's pages. first up, kerry, it's a very light news day in the guardian . guardian. >> it is indeed. i think we'll start with a little story in the corner. just because it might give us a bit of relief before we dive into the heavy stuff, hopefully more successfully than an iranian missile,

>> so the story in the corner is how gambling boss denise coates became the uk's richest woman. >> sorry, i'm just going to fix your mic for a second, but we're going to talk about that story in the corner because it is vitally important. we're sorting out your your mic. okay. >> but let's hear paul here. so what kerry was saying there. josh was that how gambling boss denise coates become the uk's richest woman? did she marry someone? well, i can tell you. no. she generated all this money by getting other people to gamble with their money. and she reaped the rewards. >> that's how she got there . >> that's how she got there. very sincere picture of her there. >> we're supposed to believe that because she's a woman, this is all good things. >> but of course, gambling isn't a good thing. there are plenty of. there are plenty of people. >> it could be fun when the fun stops, obviously. stop caring. stop speaking. kerry. sorry, you cannot speak until we have your mic sorted. i mean, yeah, the iranians have got into the mic system @gbnews. >> they knew that you were about to sprout a bunch of pro—israel propaganda. >> they can't. >> they can't. >> they can't. >> the audience can't even hear you at the moment. that's why i can do it. that's why i can lie. >> there is also a review here, which is the wildest drama on tv. five stars. assuming that's

another review of headlines whilst we're sorting out the mic and we've got the screen up there, we've got the guardian so no one can see the team that we have working around you. >> this. yes, the main story, of course . israel vows to retaliate course. israel vows to retaliate after iran launches the missile attack. this happened this afternoon whilst we were putting together this show and, i was shaking to be honest, family , shaking to be honest, family, friends in israel, you start, i don't know, did you see some of the footage? i mean, before you see stuff in the sky and these kind of missiles, but then when you're seeing them all land and they were landing, they were hitting, they were reaching their targets. it was terrifying. >> yeah. well these are ballistic missiles, and it's just an awful way of finding out whether my mic is working. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> ballistic missiles. >> ballistic missiles. >> so , you know, go on, carry on. >> i'll join in. >> i'll join in. >> well it is, it's harrowing to watch. and often when these things are happening on television elsewhere, it doesn't feel like it's impacting you directly. but i know you've got friends and family over there. josh i don't know. kerry does as well, but i certainly have

friends also that have friends in israel that are worried. and i've been saying for weeks now with this, with the escalation that's going on and how isolated israel are and the rhetoric within mainstream media across the western world, that feels entirely necessary to come down on any side by by israel other than israel, because it sees israel as, as, as the baddie in all of this, when all it's really doing is defending itself. now what's happening here is hopefully just some bravado from iran, but i fear it's not 180 ballistic missiles carried. >> this is the largest, ballistic missile attack in history. i believe this is more than bravado. this is an attempt at annihilation. >> i know, and also, i find it very strange when people keep, arguing whether it's, i mean, israel's attacks right now are going on with the attacks in the west bank, like jenin and so on,

where, there's a sort of terrorist training camps at various places around targeted, >> yes. but i mean, the different attacks or the different attacks or the different wars that israel is fighting with gaza, with lebanon, attacks are coming from syria, from iraq , from yemen. syria, from iraq, from yemen. this is this is multi—country. and then , of course, this and then, of course, this massive attack from iran and yamal, who's really controlling the oil, this this has been brewing for decades. and obviously it goes back way before that as well. so, what's happening is this is finally being played out and it was, it's been inevitable, i think, in many, many ways. and really, what would stop it is , is stop what would stop it is, is stop trying to destroy israel. it really is . it really is if you really is. it really is if you don't destroy israel. and in fact , israel don't destroy israel. and in fact, israel has taken the hand of friendship of every country that's offered it. and this isn't simply a case of being biased, it's more a case of israel is not. it's never moved beyond its borders. it has no intention of moving on its borders. there's no there's no statements of that interest at all other than invading for their own security. but if you

just accept israel exists , all just accept israel exists, all this stops. that's it. yeah. and that's a shame. >> does the times have any more information? >> paul? yeah. well, obviously it continues with the headline middle east erupts and the same picture , harrowing picture that picture, harrowing picture that we're seeing of those ballistic missiles raining down on israel. but there is a story here which would have been probably the biggest story of the day had it not been for this attack from iran. and that's that islamist terrorists have shot dead six people in tel aviv as these, iran missiles were landing or just previous, i believe, and they essentially these these, these chaps stepped onto a tram in tel aviv and just opened fire, indiscriminately. but but targeted on the jewish people of israel. they were shot dead or neutralised as as the story says, six people murdered, >> fortunately, we should have said from the missiles there were no deaths. there was a one palestinian, there was a palestinian, there was a palestinian in the west bank, but there were no deaths in

israel proper, if you want to call it that, that's obviously a tragedy for the palestinian man who was killed by debris. here you have six civilians killed as they're trying to go home, i imagine, from work or going out. and this is very much a daily occurrence in israel. you this is what you have. you and the idea that israel, it's is what you have. you and the idea that israel , it's not is what you have. you and the idea that israel, it's not meant to impact the society of israel is not meant to fight back, to build walls, to protect itself . build walls, to protect itself. >> no country can no country would be expected to people keep mentioning the iron dome, but the iron dome is like 90% successful and it is still i don't know how anyone would feel if we had an iron dome, but we were being attacked at a level this much. enough. bombs and missiles to completely destroy israel that have happened just in the last 12 months. if the iron dome hadn't been there , iron dome hadn't been there, that's that's that's a huge risk because that could go wrong at any time. and of course, one of their aims is always to take out their aims is always to take out the sites that control the iron dome. so, you know, it's not a risk that israel can take. and their people have to accept is they're not going to they're not

going to accept people who want to completely destroy them . to completely destroy them. >> well, they have no choice. so moving on from that very quickly , moving on from that very quickly, kerry, i'd like to hear from both of you. what do you think ? both of you. what do you think? i mean, you both obviously have a direct line to netanyahu . i do a direct line to netanyahu. i do what is, what do you think is happening next? i mean , israel happening next? i mean, israel has no choice but to retaliate, right? >> that's what they said. there is i don't i let kerry speak in a minute, but i just do not see netanyahu. netanyahu of all the leaders, stepping down at all now, in fact, i think he'll be leaning on the us. i think that's stage two of this. not only will he retaliate, but he'll be looking to the us to support him in that retaliation. and i think further than that will be will within this country be looking at sir keir starmer as our prime minister because he has flip flopped all over the place on this particular subject. well that's very interesting because kerry, we just saw a speech from keir starmer where he came out very strong. >> i thought he was. >> i thought he was. >> yeah, very solid considering he does have tremendous pressures. of course, within, to, to stand against israel no matter what. and i thought that

was a good firm stance from him. what did you think? >> no, i thought it was good. the problem is that to deny israel weapons licenses, which our foreign secretary, david lammy, did. yes. and then to turn around and go, no, we support you. well if also. >> well, it's not just that , is >> well, it's not just that, is it? he he's also, restoring the funding for unrwa and cien, which is. and just and just. yeah, you can say it's a news story on that, that, one of the unrwa is the guy who was in charge of the education system, wasn't he? he was, he was. and he and he turns out to be a hidden member of hamas, which, which needs to be answered. really. i mean, all these things are what's going on in the background of all this. people are seeing the face of it, but the background is the un has been completely bathed in blood for a long time now. and we've seen iran is the head of the, of part of the security council that brings out all these, you know , condemnations of israel know, condemnations of israel all the time, which is roughly 25 times more than every other country in the world put together. so, you know, it's

insane. >> there's stuff i want to say here about the bbc, but we're going to save that for the next section. >> before we go to the break, though. paul, what is the daily star's perspective on world war iii and going for the daily star today? >> queen's funeral horsey gets an obe. the gong for long faced hero. >> this has got nothing to do with israel. >> why are you talking about this? paul has absolutely nothing to do. his name , by the nothing to do. his name, by the way, i believe, is lord a firebrand. of course it is, this sexy name? yeah, real sexy name, it's been given an obe or the equivalent, i don't know, it doesn't actually allude to what the equivalent of an obe for a horse is , but i think there are horse is, but i think there are sugar cubes involved. and maybe, maybe extra strokes. >> it's lovely for him and he's going to be the envy of all the other horses. well, i respect the daily star for just other horses. well, i respect the daily star forjust going the daily star for just going off peace. >> yes, yes. »- >> yes, yes. >> and saying no. >> and saying no. >> this is the big the big story. >> yeah, totally not a sausage on the front page at all. not even a lean towards it. they know who their base is. that's right. >> that's the front page is seen off after these five messages

come back for racist police. but not you think. and labour cheat sheet or should

welcome back to headliners. your first look at wednesday's newspapers. i'm josh howie. this is kerry marx and this is paul cox. and together we are the three amigos. guys. >> i come on, we're going to rehearse that stuff. >> josh, we have been practising pretending that we haven't been practising all day . practising all day. >> i am shocked, i was pretending my mic still not working. i'm pretending that i don't have to join in with anything. >> you really made me out to be a real idiot there. i'm very, very well now. >> you've seen the true josh. >> you've seen the true josh. >> true kerry. >> true kerry. >> let's start with an inhumane crime. in tuesday's express. but whatever you do, do not speculate who did it. >> no, it's. well, this is horrible. it's london acid attacker, two teenagers and a

staff member have been rushed to hospital following the attack, which was at 4:40 pm. a teenage girl suffering potentially life changing injuries and we're not really sure whether we're told there was an attacker. but later on we get the word culprits. the police are looking for culprits, so i'm not quite sure. but then we come back to an attacker who is described as tall, slim, black male wearing dark clothing with his face obscured, possibly by a mask or balaclava. he rode an e—scooter to and from the scene. it'sjust, an e—scooter to and from the scene. it's just, you know, it's probably going to turn out, we know it's going to turn out to be mental illness or something. but i think all these type of attacks just just have this horrible, empty, senseless feel like the southampton stabbings. it's like, you know, how can anyone do that? what is it? we don't know. i'm just saying. >> well, southport but. >> well, southport but. >> sorry. southport. >> sorry. southport. >> yeah , but we don't know if >> yeah, but we don't know if it's mental health. it may well be. we don't know the motive. we don't know anything. we do know. >> we don't know anything. i'm just saying that cultural. it's horrifying. >> this is a seemingly escalating type of crime. unfortunately, this is not

something that has just been around for a long time. this is seemingly ever regular. >> there were cases we over the last 20 or 30 years, famously, there was that model. i forget her name now, who was attacked by her boyfriend and has gone on to have a wonderful career and lots of people rally around. fantastic stuff, but it's a shame she had to go through that. what we are seeing over the last couple of years is an increase in this type of crime, particularly against women. we don't know anything about this and you're right not to speculate. i'm not going to ehhen speculate. i'm not going to either. it happens at a school ininner either. it happens at a school in inner city london. school like london. access to the school is a lot easier. i live out in the suburbs and a school is well fenced off. >> i believe was outside in the street. >> yeah, but what i mean by that is the school buildings are on the street now. there's lots of security, i'm sure, but it only takes students to be gathering outside. this happened at 440, so the chances are it was after school. i don't know any schools that are still open at 440. so the fortunately, i would hope there weren't masses of children around. and what we do know is

staff came out to help. but also interestingly, it says officers were on routine patrol and they were on routine patrol and they were flagged down. it's quite nice to hear, no matter how tragic this is, that the police were on routine patrol in the area and were able to be grabbed. >> yeah. it also says that that the two policemen involved or police involved are feeling unwell, but no one is sure whether what the substance exactly was used. >> but i just want to raise one thing before we move on. the gentleman. he was not a gentleman. he was not a gentleman . gentleman. >> the horrible, inhuman excuse of a human. yeah. >> was wearing a mask or a balaclava. is this time to start bringing in legislation to the opposite of from before and remove these masks? because they are worn on the street, they're worn in the area that i young people wear them. they're obviously nothing to do with health. they are to do to hide who they are. and i believe it's time for it's a really interesting point. >> you know, i think generally even, you know, even when you're walking along at night and people come towards you wearing balaclavas and masks and so on, it's it never makes you feel safe, does it? you always think

there's something suspicious about it at the very least. >> well, there is something suspicious about it, particularly if it's on an august evening or something, and they're not trying to keep warm in any way . yeah. it's a, it's in any way. yeah. it's a, it's a cultural thing by which i don't mean colour of skin, by the way. i mean, there's, there's gang culture and, and i just hope we, we are able to tackle it. >> we're praying for this young woman and i hope that she's okay. yeah. right. shocking story of police racism in the telegraph pool but with a twist. >> yeah . this time, head of >> yeah. this time, head of met's black police association faces sacking over racist texts. glad they've all joined in. inspector charles, a hakoah, is accused of sending misogynist, racist and violent and otherwise inappropriate whatsapp messages . inappropriate whatsapp messages. and should he be found guilty and it hasn't been yet, it doesn't. the inquest doesn't start till january, he could be dismissed without notice for his behaviour. >> at the moment he's on suspension. >> i imagine he is on suspension right now. as we stand, that we're on, the details are have

not been shared any further than than the words that i've used to describe the text. it turns out, really, that skin colour has nothing to do with being racist all of a sudden. really? because my understanding is this is a black gentleman and he is head of, well, he is the head. >> he is the chair chairman. it would be a pretty impressive if he was chairman of the black. >> it wouldn't be if he was black. people can't be racist. i've read this. >> yeah, well, this is what? this. this flies in the face. no way. maybe it turns out he won't be racist. i mean, or if he is, he might pull a david lammy and make it all about him in some way, and probably end up with a pay way, and probably end up with a pay rise and a promotion. >> yeah, well, you'll get that if he goes around pulling david lammy, misogynistic, racist, violent and otherwise inappropriate. we don't really know what any of this, of course. and otherwise inappropriate messages could be anything. these days. >> you might use the word woman you and i exchange. >> yeah, totally. >> yeah, totally. >> two points i want to say here. one is time, one is it says and or received. and that's also partly a dangerous thing here. the electronic communications act means that even possessing these, having them sent to you, means that you're liable to be prosecuted, which if you don't delete it or

keep it on your phone, you can you can be done for it. and the other thing is that he himself is supposedly he's saying that he is a victim of racism himself . he is a victim of racism himself. and he there's some suggestion that this could be a bit of a cooked up because he, he accused some other officers of pulling him over because he was black, which is i mean, that feels like one of those great moments where you say, actually, i'm your boss, you know, but i don't know whether i'd be driving around in a very smart carjust whether i'd be driving around in a very smart car just to whether i'd be driving around in a very smart carjust to be a very smart car just to be pulled over. yes. >> just for that amazing moment. and also colin wingrove, the commander, said of the allegations, we're determined to build a met that truly listens to and reflects the many communities it serves. there is no place for racism. discrimination in all its forms must be challenged by every met officer member of staff. i always call that the robot statement. yes you know the thing. you have to say the meaning really well, yes. did it really meaningless thing that you need to say the guardian next kerry. >> and as someone who's working illegally whilst on the dole, what do you make of this one, >> how would you how would you actually start? >> how did you find out? >> how did you find out? >> are you are you checking my.

you're checking my bank account. >> do some funny stories. now, everybody at home. this is where the funny stuff slowly moving towards. >> we're moving towards. we're getting pizza time. let's not rush it. it's a process and we're moving on. my mic's only just started working. i can't really go crazy too fast, this is about the monitoring. monitoring of uk bank accounts for benefit frauds, which is being proposed at the moment, andifs being proposed at the moment, and it's of course, a lot of people complaining about it because it's truly ominous and it's got that feeling. you remember during blair's government there was a there was a lot of this and there was, we had all the databases going on and so on, and loads of laws against free speech and checking up on us and so on. and, and there was a phrase we kept heanng there was a phrase we kept hearing which governments say every now and then it comes and it's this if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear. which terrifies me. if you don't know how scary that is, try saying it through with reverb or through a megaphone. so say it. >> hide a few things, is what i would say. >> well, exactly. i mean, with all your cash gigs, i'm hiding. i'm hiding loads of things. nothing, nothing illegal. but but you know, but but the stuff

that's none of their business. >> well, exactly. i'm a libertarian at heart, and i have ihave libertarian at heart, and i have i have an innate reaction . i have an innate reaction. disgust to this big brother digital centralised currency , digital centralised currency, the overuse of personal data. i understand in this situation what they're trying to say. if you've got nothing to hide, etc. and this is about benefit fraud. however, i think these things should be reserved for the most severest of crimes. you know , severest of crimes. you know, you know, murder, terrorism, who stole my sandwich from the fridge? carry it . carry, i don't fridge? carry it. carry, i don't know, carry. delicious. but it's i'm not trying to defend my libertarian views on this at all costs, because it's very easy to capitulate and say, oh, well, we'll just do it on one thing like this. no one wants to see benefit fraud. it costs us all money. but at the end of the day, you start giving in and before you know it, that's it. >> so yeah, there is there is an argument, sorry. there is, there is an argument, isn't there, that the public are paying for this to therefore to check people aren't cheating and so on. but where does it end as well? i mean, do you start checking people's houses for medications because they're being given medications free on

the nhs and so on? do you start throwing a ball at blind people to check they're not lying to get their their, you know , you get their their, you know, you are actually doing some very good suggestions here. i know i am, i am this is, these are not good suggestions. these are bad ideas, you understand? >> very good. the son has some embarrassing news about labour. is it the big one, paul? >> it's not the big one, labour left labour. say the big one. >> we're not even allowed to say it . it. >> labour left red faced after leaked cheat sheet to help mps seem normal , revealed so labour seem normal, revealed so labour bosses have issued their politicians with a cheat sheet about the cost of bread and milk etc. so they don't slip up in interviews. now whilst i am thoroughly enjoying the hypocrisy of labour being pointed out at every turn at the moment , i pointed out at every turn at the moment, i don't think the measure of normal is understanding what the price of bread and milk is now, according to this article. >> hold on, let's ask josh off the hand without without looking. >> loaf of bread £1.40. >> loaf of bread £1.40. >> that's exactly . oh come on. >> that's exactly. oh come on. okay. a dozen eggs, a dozen eggs. three. don't look

anywhere. >> £3.40 or so. three. okay. >> a kilo of sugar. >> a kilo of sugar. >> oh, i'm on keto average weekly pay for people 38. well, as a family. >> yeah, i think so. yes. median household more than i earn 32,000. okay try this one. >> milk £0.65. anyway, the point is, i'm a member of the labour party. what do you say? >> if you're asked about cutting winter fuel payments, i'd say guessi winter fuel payments, i'd say guess i was just amazing. >> and we'll just do whatever he wants. >> no, you have to say we're making tough decisions. >> we're making tough decisions. >> we're making tough decisions. >> oh, my god, i should have known that one. >> that was easy, though, isn't it? >> it's not. this is in— >> it's not. this is a it? >> it's not. this is a slightly ridiculous thing, because i think that they labour they do know the cost of all this stuff because they, you know, they have to fill in their expenses from law for lord alli. so yeah. >> yeah. and there's no milk and bread on there. >> i'll tell you what though. what kind of surely mps know they need to know this information. this is like when you're a teenager and you get on a bus and you're already. or you know, when you're too old to get the free pass or whatever, or

when you're trying to get into a club and you're too young, you know what year to say. you know you're going to be asked how old you're going to be asked how old you are. >> we'll get there. yeah. ask them how how many genders they are. >> the willy questions, too many questions. the willy question is that what it's called? >> this is what i want to know the answer to, from people who are going to stand up in society and lead us. >> yeah, exactly. well, you know, start with a pint of milk and we'll move forward from there. right. finishing. actually, no. you know what? we're going to go to the interval. we're halfway through the show. we've got plenty news and chuckling to come with the end of the licence fee hiv is making a comeback.

welcome back to headliners. let's kick off with wednesday's mail pool where our competition might have to start working for a living. >> well, you never know . james >> well, you never know. james cleverly warns the bbc that the licence fee is unsustainable in the age of netflix , as tory the age of netflix, as tory leadership hopeful turns their fire on broadcasters funding. so look, whilst i believe there has

been some, i mean, i'll be the first person to take a bit of a dig at the bbc, particularly in modern times. but let's not forget that the bbc have produced a brilliant shows over the years in comedy , light the years in comedy, light entertainment etc. over the documentary. over the years , not documentary. over the years, not recently and now. i totally agree with james cleverly. i mean, i don't i don't think for a moment that james cleverly is ever going to get to enact this. i don't think he'll be the person to do it, it's also probably 4 or 5 years away. i don't see labour doing this, but there comes a time where they they have this monopoly. now the taxpayer pays for the bbc. they don't have to worry about ratings anything. they can just do what they like and they pander to do as much pro—hamas propaganda as they want. exactly. so and do you know what? put that to the test. if they believe in that stuff and they believe in that stuff and they can't call out hamas , they can't call out hamas, there's a really good point. they've really fallen short on this. take their funding away and see how many people will fund that. i don't think enough people will fund that . people people will fund that. people will go and watch netflix .

will go and watch netflix. >> yes. and you're right, they have in the past delivered. and they're still they still do some great documentaries, period dramas and so on. they could maybe make a great documentary about how the licence fee isn't worth it anymore. you know, they could do a really thorough job of that. and, and what is going on? do you know, i haven't really liked the whole licence tv thing ever since seeing all the threats that have been going out for years. you know, when you used to get all those adverts and so on. basically, we're watching you and we're going to kill your whole family. they're worse than chain letters. so and i think a lot of people feel disgruntled with the bbc nowadays. and, and one thing cleverly suggesting is that they sold peppa pig to china, which i think would upset you . that's. think would upset you. that's. you're the pig guy, aren't you? >> just go selling. >> just go selling. >> i am the man with his pig on his thighs. >> the bbc would say that the licence fee is what pays initially for those programmes. they do make quality programmes. peppa pig yes. they do make quality programmes. peppa pig yes . great tv show. peppa pig yes. great tv show. can't eat it but love it . and can't eat it but love it. and there's an interesting point that's made here that i think they kind of guessed wrong, he says. why isn't why aren't the

bbc selling this to china? well, the bbc actually do make a fair amount of money to be fair, selling like things like doctor who and other brands or all across the world or bbc international don't they. yeah. >> so they and they also how does peppa feel about it. you know choice. yeah. just how would you feel if it sold you off to china? >> i don't know, it's. it is a tncky >> i don't know, it's. it is a tricky one. i don't know, i know l, tricky one. i don't know, i know i, i don't know because i'm thinking of the next question i'm going to ask, you know. >> wait a minute. wait. stop stop for a second. do you know how you'd feel about being sold to china or not? >> how i would feel. i thought you said peppa pig. >> i said, i said, how would you feel when you went? >> i don't know, like i don't know. it's fine if china buys the station. let's find out how we will all work. >> i was, i was to make you personally just wonderful. >> the bbc deserves deserves to stand on its own two feet. and it's not right now. it's getting funded to the tune of millions and millions of pounds tax. >> but if they made loads of cute creatures that are animated creatures that china wants, then they could. >> we wouldn't need to pay it like, say, bbc news. today has been standing on one very wobbly

foot more male carry. and i know the 90s is back on trend, but surely this is taking it too far , surely this is taking it too far, >> so alarm as hiv soars by a third amongst heterosexual britons, there's so much for our aftershow orgy guys. yeah, it looks like that's off the number. >> i'm still. i'm still game , >> i'm still. i'm still game, >> i'm still. i'm still game, >> this is the way it normally works out. you you're doing the chasing the number of new hiv diagnoses discovered through testing in england increased by 15%. that's going from 2450in 2022 to just over 2800 in 2023, and the biggest increase has been heterosexual men. >> thank you for thank you for acknowledging that. >> finally , increases in hiv . >> finally, increases in hiv. >> finally, increases in hiv. >> yes. it's particularly high outside of london. i've been telling you for ages, it's dangerous out there . now. you dangerous out there. now. you know a lot about this. of course you did. one of my favourite shows in edinburgh on the hiv thing, which was, which, believe it or not, was it doesn't sound like it would be, but it was a

very funny show. >> it was called hiv. >> it was called hiv. >> you're like an expert. >> you're like an expert. >> and it was it was called aids survivor story. and it's all about growing up in the 80s. >> 90s and it was aids, not hiv. sorry. yeah. perfect. right. wow. give a man a compliment and you're never happy anyway. so there's some sides. >> do i have your favourite comedy show about aids? it's true, it's true. the only comedy show about this is not about heterosexual men, though, is it? >> this show? >> this show? >> homosexual aids ever to be heterosexual? >> this is all that's happened. >> this is all that's happened. >> this is not even about that. what this is really about. >> oh, you want to do the story we cover. >> and it's interesting here because this is from the mail. the telegraph, who has the same story, has a very different headune story, has a very different headline focusing on the fact that this increase is from people not born in the uk . people not born in the uk. >> yes. so, so the they would say, well , it's covered in say, well, it's covered in people who what it's to down what's put up the numbers so much is people already have hiv because these numbers are based on people who are diagnosed here, but they've often been pre diagnosed somewhere else . yes. diagnosed somewhere else. yes. so and largely it looks like

this means more than 53% of all hiv diagnoses in england were among people previously diagnosed. and here we find out by place of birth, only 902, about a sixth of the total hiv cases recorded in 2003, were among people in britain still trying to get to it. over half of the cases finally, were there . of the cases finally, were there. some 3300 were among people originally born in africa. so there it is. africa's coming here . here. >> it's not. yeah he's just got notes on it. he's got one note on there and it just says africans coming here. it's the most gb news note i have seen in two years. >> yes, but it's the stop of the sentence that was the that was coming here. >> full stop. >> full stop. >> that's what's happening . >> that's what's happening. yeah. people are coming here and spreading hiv is what i was. >> never mind. let's clip that one up. >> that was fine . yeah. >> that was fine. yeah. >> that was fine. yeah. >> that's fine. he didn't say anything wrong. paul. the star has a story which i imagine will be a big help to our fellow comics who are too cowardly to come on this show. >> yes, exactly . cash paid to >> yes, exactly. cash paid to sperm donors increases for the first time in 13 years. yippeei

get in there. here we go . that's get in there. here we go. that's the second job sorted out. sperm donors will get an extra £10. it's £45. now for one of those, >> that's a lot of pints of milk extractions. >> yeah. how much is that? 45. up >> yeah. how much is that? 45. up from £35. so a quick, a quick whatsit. and there you go. nearly 50. >> well, i've been realising i've been throwing away thousands. >> no, hopefully in a pot . i've >> no, hopefully in a pot. i've been throwing away thousands of pounds a month . pounds a month. >> i could have been rich. >> i could have been rich. >> i could have been rich. >> i mean, you were mad. no, let's not go there. the statistics are that you and i would make a lot of money out of this. one thing i would say, though, is whilst the egg donation has gone up as well by £200, it's now something like 300 and something quid to get to donate your eggs and it's £985. >> eggs would be worth a lot more though, wouldn't they? i mean, we know that you check your evolutionary biology here. >> we get paid per sperm. >> we get paid per sperm. >> yeah, we know it doesn't work that way . no, it doesn't work. that way. no, it doesn't work. it doesn't work that way. oh, it's by collection. apparently. >> i've read the guardian and i might have eggs as well, so i'm

going to donate my eggs. okay. >> very good. that's very good of you. and it's an interesting thing because. but it's donation is on the decrease which is. >> yeah. yes donations have been going down. so they've put the money up in line with inflation. it's one of the things i didn't think necessarily had to stay in line with inflation. but i think on average you need to give spend four visits a month to pay for london rent. now, you know , for london rent. now, you know, it's going to be like, oh, how did you get that? nice mansion, big testicle joe, you know, so you can basically, if you're if you're living on the street, then this is the best i could come up with. with this spur of the moment, some of the best stand up comedy i've ever seen. you're so demanding. >> and you went with big. >> and you went with big. >> yes, i know, what can we do, but i will. i will live with it. so. yeah, that's that's what you do now to get out of debt . do now to get out of debt. having a proper job. yeah. life having a properjob. yeah. life job. but then what's going to happen is, of course, if the, if the bank accounts details are released as the labour government want, then they're going to be like, what are these

£45 payments. yeah. yeah. well also yeah. >> and can you be on the dole and making sperm. how does that count. that's what i, that's the story i want to hear daily star get on it. >> and also talking of labour, this is another attack on old people who can't participate . people who can't participate. yeah. yeah. >> exactly. no. yeah. because they should be giving up the sperm to get the heating. >> give your sperm to an old person and let them hand it in. >> oh, that's a really actually just let them try it or keep them warm. >> and also because their houses are so cold, it'll keep it like frozen longer. right. guardian next kerry. and it's the beginning of my favourite month of the year. >> it's black history month, which kicks off aiming to reclaim, i don't know, what do you do for this fist bump? are we allowed a fist bump? i'm not sure where that's not okay. that's that's appropriation. high fives. can we do that one? no, nothing. how do we celebrate it? >> we don't . we don't know. do >> we don't. we don't know. do we celebrate? >> we just mention it. >> we just mention it. >> we just go . >> we just go. >> we just go. >> we're reclaiming narratives. >> we're reclaiming narratives. >> this is what i want to. i want to celebrate narrative about the black history month. go. okay so basically the theme is going to be reclaiming

narratives, which i thought was the narrative that was, was the narrative of history month. >> anyway, i don't have a problem with it. some of my best friends are racist, and they, what? yeah, that's how it works in my life. so black history month to me, though. i mean, what are we supposed to say? of course. this is this is this is for us to talk about on gb news for us to talk about on gb news for obvious reasons. but to me, because it's just it's designed to wind us up and it's designed to wind us up and it's designed to wind us up and it's designed to wind you up. it's designed well, maybe you're the questions are aiming to completely at me, i love it, i love writing my 15th thousand report on rosa parks. >> i have done so many of these. >> i have done so many of these. >> what's gained, what's what don't we know? >> i've learned a lot of it. i learned a lot of interesting stuff because i do my kids homework and i now know everything about black history in the uk and around the world. >> you know, it's, you know, it's a month. >> i know it's a month. >> i know it's a month. that's a good starting point, isn't >> i know it's a month. that's a >> and it's october, which is 31 days, >> and it's october, which is 31 city who received financial compensation under the slavery abolished abolition act of 1833

for the loss of their so—called property, which is you know, thatis property, which is you know, that is horrible. that should be we should talk about that and so on. but at the same time, we should also talk about the fact that the britain was the country that the britain was the country that stopped slavery, that closed it down, doesn't mean it was right in the first place. i mean, it's horrifying that it ever happened, but nevertheless, britain did their part in closing it down. and one of the reasons they handed out those financial compensations was really to get the job done . it really to get the job done. it was to make it pass in the country that they went, all right, here's a whole load of money. let's just get this happening. and i think that should be included with it. but it's also that i do think we should talk about anyone at this point who doesn't think that slavery was bad is just not going to be convinced by history. >> but yeah, i know, i think we should do black black history yeah should do black black history year. we should just do it every day, but mix it in with everybody's history and then we're all part of history. >> well, maybe more than a year. >> well, maybe more than a year. >> oh, fine. right. just the final section to go. there's lots of fun to be had with the centenarians the decline. the dangers of not farting. and what should we

oh, i see so africans are coming, i get it. that's funny. you know, that's funny , right? you know, that's funny, right? >> welcome back. it's how you say the word. >> no, no, no, i see welcome back to headlines. good one kerry. and let's get straight into wednesday's telegraph kerry. and have we reached peak oil people. and probably this is a good moment to shout out to my mate andy's parents, who are big fans of joe and earl's dad. i think he's a fan of the show, i don't know if you guys have got your parents are good fans of the show. >> yeah, both my parents will be watching right now. >> right. well, i don't think it counts. i'm talking like friends, parents. that's next level. my parents don't even know that i do the show. anyway. >> carry on. my mum wouldn't give a she wouldn't care. >> she wouldn't care. >> she wouldn't care. >> yeah. i stopped looking over there. yeah. phew. >> that made me cry. kerry. >> that made me cry. kerry. >> why? fewer people were now living to 100. now, apparently we have fewer centenarians in england and wales. they said they've dropped for the first time, which i don't think they mean. in that sense. the number has dropped. they haven't dropped . okay. and this is since

dropped. okay. and this is since covid. so that's just it's picked up since covid and then it's dropped down again. what we have is more people living to 90, but fewer people actually making it to 100. and i think this is all just i don't even know why why we're being told this particularly. it seems like kind of, temporary. despite last year's slowdown in the fall in centenarians, the long term trend is one of growing numbers of older people, which is hooray! but bad because we can't afford them. apparently so i suppose this is nice . it means suppose this is nice. it means there's going to be this fewer centenarians, so there's fewer letters for the king to send send out. yeah. so it's easier to save money on stamps . you to save money on stamps. you know, that's it's tricky anyway. yeah yeah. have you seen his writing as well? no one wants that spidery, weird god save the king. by the way, that started dunng king. by the way, that started during the queen's reign. it never used to be a thing, but it started during queen elizabeth's reign to send out. and i always saw it live to 100 before. yeah, isuppose saw it live to 100 before. yeah, i suppose that's why very good point. but i always thought it was a shame she died at 96. i wanted to find out whether four years later, she'd have to send herself a letter. yeah, it'd be

interesting. yeah. >> taking ages to get there because the royal mail is rubbish. but i mean, the most, the most startling fact is the one we already know, which is that women are still far more likely to live into old age than men. women outnumber men. men 4.5 to 1. >> how about that glass ceiling? exactly the age glass ceiling . right? >> to be paid less and live longer . josh, that is crazy. longer. josh, that is crazy. >> yeah, i'm surprised centenarians . i thought that centenarians. i thought that they were like they fought for they were like they fought for the roman army, so i. yeah this has been a very instructive. >> what do you think nonagenarians were centurions. >> okay, well africans are coming kerry telegraph again and paul,if coming kerry telegraph again and paul , if it's coming kerry telegraph again and paul, if it's going to cost you 100 k, you might as well get divorced anyway. >> yeah, that's a good point. actually, i spent 100 k to sleep separately from my husband. it saved our marriage. this isn't about me, by the way. it wasn't my husband that i spent 100 k on so—called asleep . divorces are so—called asleep. divorces are rising for those who can afford bigger homes. so this is particularly focused on a lady called julia champion, who spent 100 k on a bigger house, which gave them all a separate bedroom, children included, and including her and her husband, because her husband snored. that

was me snoring then. but apparently i snore. at least that's what all the women i sleep with say. josh but i don't know if. does she? yeah. does he? but but i'm not sure that this is the solution. it's going to work for a very small minority of relatively well—off people. i understand what she's saying here. yeah, sleeping in separate beds is probably not a bad idea. even if one of the partners isn't snoring. even on houday. partners isn't snoring. even on holiday . even on holiday, it holiday. even on holiday, it says here, even on holiday, i tell you what, even better go on a separate holiday to the missus. have a whale of a time. >> yes, but this is much more. >> yes, but this is much more. >> you know her? >> you know her? >> yeah, but this is a much more popular phenomenon. i'd never heard of sleep divorces, but supposedly 1 in 20 people heard of sleep divorces, but supposedly1 in 20 people in london. >> these two are just friends with benefits, basically. but yeah, no . okay, so the yeah, no. okay, so the expression there is this is why i reckon having the clue here is nigel bishop rococo property search researcher, says sleep divorce as a phrase is much more common than one might think and decide in fact. and then he talks about how there's plenty

of newlyweds and so on who want to sleep separately. this is this is an advert by estate agents who are putting out this new phrase and idea, you know, and what they say. and he's giving reasons why you might want to sleep apart. and lots of people do it, and it's quite normal. and snoring is very annoying, isn't it. and i think and so you've got people saying , and so you've got people saying, yeah, he's right, we need a bigger bedroom. well, i'm saying no, we need separate bedrooms. >> we need bigger houses today anyway. most important story of the night in the star. carrie, blow us away. >> i'm. i know what you're doing. boffins say holding in farts can be bad for you. here's what happens if you do. people have known this forever. that's why we've always had that phrase better out than in. but finally, it's been proved right. as long as you use that sentence only for farts, not for getting your penis out or anything else, it doesn't work for that. >> donate. you want to make some money? what better out than in make? make £45? >> that's right. >> that's right. >> you don't have to do it in pubuc >> you don't have to do it in public though, dear. no. hey, carrie is not wearing any trousers or pants. >> it's better out than in. i told you i'm not. >> the last time i'm putting up is donating £45 all over the place. >> you can injure yourself by

not passing gas in the same way you can injure yourself by never pooping. it says we're using the american now. true story. what happens is constantly holding it in can harm your bowels in the long run. in the long run. i don't know if that's supposed to be a pun. according to stein, small pockets are called diverticula, so they form in your colon. so now you can say better out than in. and if you want to look clever, you then say because of the colon diverticula . i obviously can't diverticula. i obviously can't say it. titus diverticula i know, should i have i wow, i really put down like this on this. the show is really this show has turned nasty. >> my theory is that the reason why they say that if you're married , you live longer is married, you live longer is because if you're not, you're still dating. in which case you're still having to hold in your farts and stuff. whereas when you're married, you can let it all out and just sleep in separate bedrooms. right, let's move on to the next story. the guardian just keeps pushing its agenda on us, paul. but i refuse to raise another man's eggs. >> that's all i thought when i read this story. flamingo foster fathers hatch an egg together in

san diego zoo are two male flamingos have joined their kind's ranks of same sex co—parents after hatching eggs together in the safari park in san diego . this is an absolute san diego. this is an absolute nonsense. very progressive. this is very well. it's not. this is not what progressive progression looks like, is it? well, this is not why we fought the battle of britain, josh. so that flamingos could pretend to be gay. because this is all. >> this is nothing about being 93!!- >> this is nothing about being gay. it sounds like a lot of it does not mention gay sex. >> it's not gay at all. >> it's not gay at all. >> don't mention gay. it talks about not everything's gay. >> not everything's gay. >> not everything's gay. >> i mean, this does sound like a load of colon diverticulosis to me. pink flamingos are the arguably, i love their music . arguably, i love their music. okay, priti though i love i love their music. okay. yeah, they're two foster dads. i don't think there's anything about them being gay, but they were kind of tncked being gay, but they were kind of tricked into this with a fake egg. yeah. they laid they were trained to or encouraged to sit on a fake egg, which is a weird thing to get anyone to do. >> basically, if anybody encouraged you to sit on a fake baby, do not do it because

you're going to be raising some other person's kid. the show is nearly over. let's take another quick look at wednesday's front pages. the daily telegraph iran attacks israel the i iran missile attack on israel sparks fears of new war. the guardian israel vows to retaliate after iran launches missile attack. the metro . iran's new blitz at the metro. iran's new blitz at israel the fight iran fires missile barrage against israel and finally the times middle east erupts. and those were your front pages. that is all we have time for. thank you very much to kerry and paul. we are back tomorrow at 11:00 pm with andrew doyle in the big boy seat , doyle in the big boy seat, joined by steve and alan and nick dixon. and if you're watching at 5 am, stay tuned for breakfast. stay safe . by. for breakfast. stay safe. by. >> heavy showers first thing will be followed by a warm, cosy day. boxt boilers . sponsors of day. boxt boilers. sponsors of weather on gb news. >> hi there and welcome to the latest forecast from the met

office for gb news drier for many of us over the next 24 hours, clearest in the north, but elsewhere there will be still some cloud and some showers, especially across eastern and southeastern parts of england, as the area of low pressure responsible for all the rain over the last few days, slowly pulls away as it pulls away. we've got this cold wind coming in from the north sea to affect eastern parts of england, affect eastern parts of england, a lot of low cloud for the north and east of england, as well as the midlands, parts of east wales. and with that low cloud, some showery , drizzly rain at some showery, drizzly rain at times. but in the far west and certainly across scotland and northern ireland, we've got clear skies and a chilly start to wednesday , but that's where to wednesday, but that's where the best of the sunshine will be. northern ireland much of scotland, blue skies from the word go and having seen a few showers in the north—east of scotland during tuesday, it's a dner scotland during tuesday, it's a drier spell on wednesday and thursday here, with mostly just sunny spells and western scotland barely a cloud in sight. first thing, 1 or 2 mist

patches for northern ireland, otherwise largely fine. however, as we get into england and wales here, we've got more extensive cloud cover and the rain that we started the week with. well, that's turned to showers . that's turned to showers. nevertheless, through the wash parts of norfolk , suffolk, parts of norfolk, suffolk, perhaps kent will see quite a number of showers continuing through the day along with a brisk northeast breeze and a lot of cloud that's going to make it feel considerably cooler than elsewhere across the uk. so low to mid teens on the east coast where we've got some sunny spells elsewhere. 15 to 17 celsius. we start thursday with widespread clear skies . still 1 widespread clear skies. still 1 or 2 showers through the day across the far southeast, but otherwise for many it's simply a sunny day. best day of the week widely across the uk and feeling pleasant enough in that sunshine with light winds as well. friday starts off on a similar note, but there will be some rain in the far west later, and an unsettled weekend to come. >> despite the morning rain, it'll be a nice warm, cosy day

ahead. boxed heat sponsoi's sponsors of weather on gb

break. well . well. >> good evening. well, unsurprisingly, iran has hit back tonight at israel by firing a hundred couple of ballistic missiles. it seems that the iron dome has worked, but do we fear more escalation in the middle east today? not that you'd know it. it's the conservative party conference who seem to be obsessed with me and with reform. can they really win back reform. can they really win back reform voters that are much more coming up after the news with cameron walker ? cameron walker? >> good evening. the time is 7:00. i'm cameron walker here in the gb newsroom and breaking news this evening. iran has launched nearly 200 missiles at israel. the attack is now over, according to the israeli

military. but a spokesperson says it will have serious consequences. well, let's go straight to our homeland security editor , mark white. security editor, mark white. mark, what is the latest in this rapidly unfolding situation . rapidly unfolding situation. >> well, an indication of just how normalised the threats are in israel. the population are now being told that they can leave their air raid shelters, but stay close by in case, of course, they need to get back into those air raid shelters again. you're looking at now some earlier images of one of two waves of iranian ballistic missiles that rained down on israel. in fact, i've never seen this before. the alert system that i have here that shows me about individual sirens that are going off the whole of the country was put into lockdown

effectively.