well . well. >> hello and welcome to headliners. your first look at saturday's newspapers. >> with three out of work comedians. >> i'm josh howie joining me tonight is whippersnapper jonathan coggan and on a playdate adam kumars. >> hello . >> hello. >> hello. >> hello. >> how are you both.7 out of work. well, i told you that in confidence. it's friday night. none of us are gigging. why are we gigging? what's wrong with us? >> i am getting paid for this, though. to be fair. you two. yeah. you two do voluntarily. i get paid for this. >> i do it for the love and the free biscuits. i'm still on work experience. i really need to have a look at my contract. your cv should write one depher sinwar depher. yeah. jewish new yeah sinwar depher. yeah. jewish new year. we're through it. to those

who celebrate, we made it just about another year. another go jews. that's what people say. congrats . congrats. >> so, adam yeah, congrats. i'm happy for you guys. >> and so you and adam, sorry about your pager as well, man. oh, yeah. adam, you've just come from a building site. yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah . yeah yeah yeah. >> so taking off some cladding from the buildings and some cladding on some other buildings. >> okay, well, good for you. i hopeit >> okay, well, good for you. i hope it was. i hope it was the good stuff. i need a haircut. right. we're gonna have a look at saturday's front pages. first of all, we have the times staff to get more rights from first day at work. the iweekend uk warning to israel attack on iran nuclear sites could drag region into a war. because, you know, there's no war going on right now, the guardian police took bnbes now, the guardian police took bribes to help al fayed persecute staff. the daily telegraph foreign aid cut sparks cabinet rebellion daily mirror strictly nick, i'm out. and finally, the daily star beam us up , scotty, and those are your up, scotty, and those are your front pages . jonathan. lots of

front pages. jonathan. lots of news on the daily telegraph. there's actually quite a lot of interesting stories on the front cover of the telegraph. i think i might take a whip round some of the small ones. lots of good news. so bullying of women normalised in navy. i in 50 albanians in the uk are in prison. okay, maybe . maybe not. prison. okay, maybe. maybe not. not great news. sworn down how the f—word lost its bite. i guess you meant to say queer. i guess. and then josh's story for you white guys in your 50s. you don't matter . that's a little don't matter. that's a little bit in your 50s, 48. thank you so much. and i really look 47 josh thank you. i, i haven't put my i haven't dyed my beard now for a couple of weeks. i've been a bit busy, but i will redo my beard and then i will go back to 40. i think he looks youthful and spry. yeah. what are you guys, 31, 30? >> yeah, let's just stick with that. yeah. why not? >> whatever it is. yeah. none of you have kids, right? old enough? no, no. well, that's how you're not in this country. that will add the ten years. so what are the big stories here? the big story in the telegraph. foreign aid cut sparks. sorry. foreign aid cut sparks. sorry. foreign aid cut sparks. sorry.

foreign aid cut sparks. cabinet rebellion. i read it in a weird way. okay, so if we get the cover up, rachel reeves plan to cut almost 2 billion from the foreign aid budget has sparked quite a lot of cabinet backlash. so i think this is there's been some controversy here. and david lammy , the foreign secretary, is lammy, the foreign secretary, is among one of the ministers who is not happy about this, about the cuts to foreign aid. but i think what this story ties into is the well , now it's think what this story ties into is the well, now it's up when i'm not looking down is the general anxieties that are surrounding the upcoming budget. and i think there's a lot of stress about what's going to be cut. and i think all tax hikes and this is just another one of those where it's caused quite a bit of disagreement within the labour party. yes. so i mean, adam, first of all labour come in. one of the first things they do is that they are going to cut, you know, they're going to make pensioners some, you know, arguably some people say freeze to death. and now not only content with that now they're going to make african pensioners freeze to death. yeah. >> yeah. i mean is there no end

to their devilry? i think some of the countries in africa have a slightly different climate to ours. i think if they said no, no, no, i remember feed them at christmas, you know, mount kilimanjaro, you know, whatever that gets snowed. >> don't they know it's snowing? and then it was snowing. >> don't they know it's christmas? yeah, yeah, yeah. which is all part of the christian push . no i think yeah christian push. no i think yeah i think the honeymoon period is definitely over for the labour party. >> locking up people for free speech. >> yes, i think what's what where everyone's looking at is i think i think we're just. we were back in the same position were back in the same position we were a few months ago where everybody hated the government and everyone was now just like, oh, they weren't so great. >> now i'm going to disagree with both of your political insight here. i would say there are a lot of people out there who are actually very supportive of this. a lot of people you see a lot of time on social media say, why are we spending billions to we can't even feed our own? or why instead of giving it to the pensioners, why are we sending the. and it's only 2 billion. they're cutting out of however many out of billions. so it's going to be the lowest it's been for 17

years. that doesn't mean that money isn't still being spent. and there's an argument, of course, morally, to spend that money, but also the prevention or by bringing up other societies or cultures around the world. the argument is that they'd be less inclined to want to come to the uk. so it's protecting the economic interests of the uk by spending outside. that's the idea behind it. but and having soft power and various other reasons, there are legitimate reasons to do it. but at the same time, there have been a lot of people who say, you know, this is british people's taxpayers money and we are suffering here. there are people in this country who need that money more, arguably. so i think that surely that would play. yeah. >> i mean, if it goes, if it if it's spent on the british people, they should let people know because that's a, that's an easy win, you know. but i don't think that i think they're just cutting it and they're not really saying where it's going to go. and i think people are very sceptical, myself included, of are we going to see an inherent boost? is that going to be reinvested in our education systems or the nhs or something? or given given to the pensioners? i don't think it will be so. i think that's where people are getting disillusioned

by. >> before we do move on to the next paper, i do want to just go back to one of the stories you mentioned, jonathan, this i in 50 albanians in the uk are in prison. yes. is interesting because it's the, i believe the first time there's ever been the first time there's ever been the first league of criminality due to nationality. and i know that there have been certain people who i've seen on this channel who i've seen on this channel who have been campaigning, i think, i think robert jenrick is one of those people, you know, who talking about how we have to get to grips with the data to understand who are committing crimes . and it's only by and crimes. and it's only by and that data has been sort of withheld even with freedom of information act. and this seems to be the one, the first time that some of this stuff is now coming. i actually prefer feelings over facts, if that's okay. okay, i get that vibe about you. what do you think about you. what do you think about this? is this a step in the right direction? >> i mean, if it's, i think transparency of any form is always a step in the right direction. i think, you know, we've got the racists, we've got the we've got the trans stuff coming up in the next section. yeah. so i think it transparency , yeah. so i think it transparency, i think any, any sort of, any sort of new data that comes out,

you know, this one is, you know, about albanians, but it would be good to maybe get a percentage or some numbers on what the breakdown of, of the everyone in prison is. yeah. >> and different crimes that are committed. absolutely. yeah. it's only data. can you actually maybe start to solve some issues . maybe start to solve some issues. right. adam, let's have a look at the times then. >> yes. so this is from the times and this is the headline says staff to get more rights from the first day at work. so you might have seen that this is a labour a labour is going to overhaul basically some of these rights for workers. and this includes concessions for bosses. and this basically means there's going to be a lot more people who might be sort of entitled from the back to off the bat to sick pay, maternity leave. you know, i don't think kemi, kemi badenoch would be happy about that with maternity, but and also she was misrepresented. >> she was misrepresented. >> she was misrepresented. >> and her name is badenoch. everyone calls her badenoch, but it's badenoch and she doesn't have bad names. >> i call her kemi. okay. oh nice. >> that's sweet. but. and also what's interesting is this right to switch off, which is interesting because when i before i did comedy full time employed. thank you . i used to

employed. thank you. i used to have a day job like everyone else and i, they used to be a company whatsapp chat, which is a sickening and disgusting as it sounds, 100 odd people in there and it was very odd people . and it was very odd people. yeah, it was just, it was every, every hour of every day, including the weekends when you weren't supposed to be on work. it was pinging around, people saying, responding and pictures of willies. no, but there's a lot of that's ofwat. >> that's the that's our whatsapp group. yeah. you mean cressida. there were a lot like, how about this dude? >> no, silly people in the chat. but yeah, i think that idea to fully disconnect from work is it's a huge one. >> jonathan, obviously you're a big fan of the right to switch off. you're obviously that's what people are doing it right now. you're doing it. yeah. i'm sorry i slapped on your no no no no i was making a joke about you, but you've just denigrated our audience . yeah, just halved our audience. yeah, just halved it. so thanks a lot for that. put it away. so only that . the put it away. so only that. the reason why i'm saying that is because the audience might not see at home. but i just got a very uncomfortable view. is there anything in here about

staff rights, about not having to see people's testicles, for example? no, this is in showbiz. it's implied. okay, so this is obviously one of labour's flagship policies. they've been talking about this before they got into power. this is what they've been planning. now they're implementing it their first 100 days and whatnot. yes. it'll be interesting to see if there's going to be any backlash, if that's going to lead to maybe a downtick if you know when rights go up somewhere, rights go down somewhere, rights go down somewhere , well, that would be somewhere, well, that would be the employers finding generally incurring greater expense and which obviously in multinational corporation doesn't seem to be so much of a problem when it's a small business that's struggling to survive and then has to adhere to a bunch of more regulation, then that can be a little bit more difficult. yeah. so we'll see. we'll see what happens. right. let's move on now to the guardian jonathan. yes okay. the guardian there's some fun stories again on here. 12 ways you're ruining your sex life. why is it why is there a picture of a rabbit? well, i mean, i think the rabbits, unfortunately become the.

>> it's the most sexualised animal, i think. and someone said a whole rabbit range. >> i feel like i thought it was called hares. weren't sexy, but i don't know, i don't know, i don't know about the. i don't know how rabbits feel about that. this sort of sexualization of them, they don't have a they don't have a choice. >> well, playboy, playboy was all bunnies. >> yes. okay, fine. i just think that they should stick on a picture of a attractive man. that's all i'm saying. >> okay, well, you'll get that. maybe. >> okay , fine. we've got the joy >> okay, fine. we've got the joy of beans. of course, in the top left corner. joy of beans. classic fatty guardian. yeah, yeah. and we've got some actual proper stories here. >> yeah. as long as they don't cut to my face whilst i'm reading it. okay. police took bnbes reading it. okay. police took bribes to help al fayed persecute staff . so metropolitan persecute staff. so metropolitan police officers have allegedly taken bribes of hampers as well as cash bribes to help al fayed persecute staff. so there's a bunch of different things that have been reported here. so actually, one of her nannies, sorry, one of his nannies was i was going to report a sexual

assault or something. >> alleged or something. yeah. advance harcelement. right. and then he then essentially paid off, allegedly paid off the police to take the paper off. now , dare i is it are the now, dare i is it are the complaints coming in that thick and fast? they're like, just leave the paper up for the entire show. wait , we've got entire show. wait, we've got monitors. instead of cutting to jonathan, let's just have the paper up. well, look, i've said my bit now, and i'm not doing it again, all right? this is actually, this is quite a serious story. there's going to be. they've been ruined. no, there's going to be a review about what happened with these these sexual assaults. yeah, but but they're saying now to bring in this element of the police about dodgy police . and it's not about dodgy police. and it's not about dodgy police. and it's not a good look. so obviously they're a bunch of crooked cops. well this is like sort of they're probably in their 70s or whatever, but the fact is that they were allowed to intimidate and break the law using their position for a hamper. yeah. i

mean, those hampers are good. it's not even a fortnum and mason hamper. fortnum mason is better than harrods 100%. holy moly. 100 ofcom reasons i have to say that harrods also do good hampers. >> oh, the hampers are available. >> you're not getting. you're not getting sponsored. i'm more of a boots hamper. all right. so let's look at some of the other stories here. we've got naomi campbell i failed in my duties as a charity trustee. this is quite interesting. so she had a charity called fashion for relief. they got about £5 million. and over the last five years or so, they've given away 10% of it. and lots of it was spent on things like luxury hotels. so. and kettles that she could throw out stuff. so i imagine she sort of approached. yeah. yeah. she approached i imagine, you know, look, it's always good to start a charity, but you've got to kind of follow through. and i imagine she went up to a lot of, a lot of sort of contacts and went, hey, give us some money, we're going to help the world. and they gave her this money and then they went, you know what? >> it's when i was when i was at in college, there was a lot of people, a lot of students doing

sponsored trips around the world, and they'd be like , oh, world, and they'd be like, oh, we're going to go and walk the great wall of china. and if you and, you know, if you give us money, we're going to do this for charity. and i was thinking how are you? how are we paying for the are you are we paying for the are you are we paying for your trip to walk around china? >> check this out. i was doing the comedy store weekend humblebrag. oh no, don't book me anymore. and when they used to pay anymore. and when they used to pay cash and when they the guy came with the cash, he was like, oh, would you mind sponsoring me for the marathon? and you're standing there, you've got a you've got a weekend's worth of money, you're like, oh, i don't have any cash. oh, that is wrong. because, you know, as people know, you have to pay to do the marathon essentially. yeah. like as a charity we do that out of their own pocket. it's like when you come out of greggs and the guy's like, the homeless man is like, you have any food and you're like, no, you have to stuff a whole sausage roll in your mouth in two seconds. is that what it is? wow. you have got a lot of sense to go to synagogue for one final story, iran vows hezbollah will return stronger. now, what is interesting about this story is that the leader of iran, al khamenei, or whatever his name is, the bbc decided to basically

show 40 minutes of his weekly sermon. that's so look , gb news, sermon. that's so look, gb news, we get some criticism and some of it's fair, but i'm pretty sure you ain't going to see 40 minutes of a leader of a terrorist state. you get a full houn terrorist state. you get a full hour. yeah, he refuses to do gb. he says it's too right wing. so yeah. yeah, fine. fair enough . yeah. yeah, fine. fair enough. and then very, very quickly, let's just do the star. adam. >> there's going to be hurricane. >> there we go. that was very quick. that is the front page is obliterated coming up. now get rid of that star. we don't need to see it anymore. coming up after the break, we have more chagos chagos chaos . chagos chagos chagos chaos. chagos chagos chagos chaos. chagos chagos chaos. labour keeping their . and bbc finds out what

welcome back to headliners covering tomorrow's newspapers

today. unless you're watching today. unless you're watching today and unless you're watching from the future. in which case, ihope from the future. in which case, i hope they've invented a cure for baldness. i'm josh howie joined this evening by the youth of headliners jonathan kogan and adam koumas. jonathan, let's start this section with saturday's express and what's next. giving back wales if anyone will take it. josh . so anyone will take it. josh. so keir starmer defends well here comes the hate . keir starmer comes the hate. keir starmer defends chagos islands decision as argentina chagos chagos ten hag chagos chagos chagos. if you're jewish, it's chagos and if you're otherwise, if you're american, it's chagos. >> it's not our it's not ours anymore. we don't need to. >> yeah, we don't care. we don't have to pronounce it. yeah, exactly, exactly. goodbye. chagos. okay, go. so yeah. so keir starmer defends chagos islands decision as argentina targets falklands next. so keir starmer has defended his decision to give up those islands to a chinese ally , islands to a chinese ally, despite widespread fury from the international community coming from english politicians, coming from english politicians, coming from american politicians. so the deal to hand back

sovereignty included provisions for the uk to make sure that we continue using diego garcia. i assume that's a military base . i assume that's a military base. i am pretty sure america gets used. pretty sure he's one of the grateful dead for 99 years. yeah. so yes, we are. so we get to keep that for 99 years, which is important base for english intelligence and military operations. but yeah, there's basically a lot of stress around this because it feels like we've given an important part of our remaining empire , a very remaining empire, a very dwindling one island in the middle of nowhere. but this is important that now, it should be pointed out, this is a continuation of a tory policy. they negotiated 11 times, and it kept on going back to the drawing board. labour had been about they'd negotiated twice. so either labour are just amazing negotiators or they've been done in by here. now there's talk here about boris johnson, gb news presenter says that this is political correctness gone mad or whatever

i.e. it's decolonisation or that that would be the claim. it's giving back the empire or whatever we have. we know when people say, oh, we need to decolonise literature. i guess it does make sense to decolonise a colony. that's the only thing you can actually decolonise. but whether or not this is a good idea, let's ask adam. >> i like the fact that we had it. >> we had it and don't have it anymore. yeah. >> i mean, did we sell it? did we at least make a good bit of money? >> no, i don't think we did. and we're gonna have to probably pay some stuff in the end. i know we should make some money. i think lord alli gave it away. my favourite stuff that happens around this time is how political commentators suddenly become experts in mauritius. i've got three hours to know how to say mauritius properly. chagos island. the other thing, of course, adam is now people are saying now the falklands, this is this . like, is this some this is this. like, is this some sort of like giving them like a sort of like giving them like a sort of like giving them like a sort of like, oh well look, if they're giving back that the falklands are sort of going , oh falklands are sort of going, oh well, well the argentinians, we can take it. >> and it does, to be fair , like >> and it does, to be fair, like the optics of this does look like. well, if you're just

giving stuff back we'll have ours back please. and i think what was interesting, there was a statement earlier made made on thursday, the falklands governor, allison blake, reassured residents, saying, well, actually we're not going to give back the falklands. it's a very different issue. it's definitely giving it. yeah, 100%. yeah. >> well, keir starmer was actually asked if he was going to give it back. he says no, i don't give a fork. nice. yeah. >> or he's going to give six. >> or he's going to give six. >> he was asked and he kind of fudged the issue. everybody freaked out. so on the front pagesit freaked out. so on the front pages it says keir starmer doesn't say he's going to get. and then number 10 had to be like, no, we definitely don't worry. we're not giving it back. and the falklands are a very have a very different history. you know, the argentinians are not indigenous to the falkland islands. it was just they got it, you know, from spain allegedly. whatever. so it's a very it's very different. >> give back the sausages. >> give back the sausages. >> i'm learning. okay son. now jonathan and david bebe bug boris's bog. now say that 100 times. bebe bug. boris says bog . times. bebe bug. boris says bog. bog. okay, go. did bebe bog. boris. bobby. boris bog. okay, right. listening device discovered in boris johnson's toilet just days after it was

used by benjamin netanyahu. so in his new memoir, unleashed poo bear again, that's a big poo. it is. it's something he swallowed. so in his new memoir , unleashed, so in his new memoir, unleashed, bojo writes that it's not what it was all about. literally unleashing. yeah, it's all about his toilet adventures . boris on his toilet adventures. boris on the bog. so apparently, yeah, this is 2017. mr benjamin netanyahu came. mr now is it for you now suddenly you respect him after his activities with hezbollah . before you were very hezbollah. before you were very derogatory and now it's mr netanyahu. i was always more of a net in google , man. stupid, a net in google, man. stupid, but quite clever. and basically bofis but quite clever. and basically boris johnson had his toilet, which was called he called it the thunderbox, apparently, which is a great name for a toilet . and a few days after he toilet. and a few days after he left, his agents did a sweep for bugs and found one. yeah, it could have been him. i don't know. we don't know what no state secret is worth learning if you have to listen to boris johnson on the toilet. well, this is it. adam. what ? what?

this is it. adam. what? what? why are you bugging a toilet? like, what are you hoping to hear? you're here hoping that someone's gonna do some drugs in there. you're hoping there's going to be some sexual activity or there's just a lot of straining. it's gonna be. it's gonna be a lot for me. it's crying. that's all i got to cry. it's got to be toilet. >> just, just. it's not a good place. i just like the idea that benjamin netanyahu is, like, putting these things in himself. like he's just, like, tinkering around. >> he's doing it has nothing to do a guy for that. >> he's just doing it himself. and also, it's probably got nothing to do with mossad. this might just be like a private hobby of his. >> yeah, or or none of it really happened. it'sjust >> yeah, or or none of it really happened. it's just a good little promo for his new book that's coming out next. >> next week ? which one? no. >> next week? which one? no. hey, come on. no, i'm sure it's. but there's no no, no evidence there. >> no, there's no evidence. you know , also just just the one i know, also just just the one i mean, japanese toilets have cameras and everything. like, why have we got. >> i paid for one of those websites. >> yeah. oh, wow. there you go. >> yeah. oh, wow. there you go. >> right. okay. adam, the guardian has a story next on the true victims of october. com. sorry. carry on. that's okay. do you want to tell us? tell the

story? >> yes. of course. so this is from the guardian. this is the headune from the guardian. this is the headline reads record amount of anti—muslim abuse has been reported in the uk since the 7th of october attacks. now, this is from the guardian, which is why it sort of it probably focuses on anti—muslim abuse . it does on anti—muslim abuse. it does later on go to talk about. there's been a sharp rise also in anti—semitism in the uk, and there's independent trustees for both communities that have reported. i think it was 4971 incidents of anti—muslim hate and 5500 anti—semitic incidents . yes. >> we win. >> we win. >> yeah, because that is what this is about. josh, it's the jews win. >> we win. yeah. so per capita. well, let's let's talk about that. >> yeah . so obviously tensions >> yeah. so obviously tensions are high and obviously it's a shame that any sort of resentment or hate has has left that conflicted area. and it's come to the uk. i've always been a big advocate and said it's disgusting when anyone uses this as an as an example to use violence on both sides. >> that's what you say on air. >> that's what you say on air. >> yeah, that's exactly what i

say on air. and then off on off air. i'm exactly the same. i'm a good guy. but yeah, i think, you know, this is this is they were also saying this. there was the anti—muslim hate particularly was fuelled probably well was fuelled by the riots that we had recently during the summer. >> well not necessarily fuel but maybe expressed expressed. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> as opposed to there might be other things fuelling other things there. yeah. let's talk per capita jonathan, there are 250,000 jews in the uk . there 250,000 jews in the uk. there are 4 million muslims. so by my little maths, it seems like hate against jews is 16 times higher. yes. yeah. relative . yes. and yes. yeah. relative. yes. and have you worked it out to you specifically what the rate is. well i know a lot higher 100%. everybody says it was about october seventh, but it also coincides with me being on television more . yeah. television more. yeah. >> so it could have been you single handedly raised the stats. >> it might be all me and lewis schaffer. you're not jewish. ben shapiro another thing i just want to say is it says here there's been a lot of street and onune there's been a lot of street and online level, and british muslims have been called hamas,

hezbollah terrorists and killers and those are not just the ones who carry hamas flags. well, that's the thing i you see, am i gonna get in trouble for that ? gonna get in trouble for that? yeah.i gonna get in trouble for that? yeah. i mean, it's terrible to say, but you've seen we've seen the hamas flags at these events, just like , well, this is overt just like, well, this is overt supporting of designated terrorist groups. so it's terrible. but that doesn't mean no, that doesn't mean one thing i do like about this also, i mean, look, yes, of course, any hatred towards any group, any bigotry is a bad thing. hatred towards any group, any bigotry is a bad thing . that was bigotry is a bad thing. that was that. fairies. not fairies. fairies. i don't mind, okay? i like how they use anti—muslim as a term more than islamophobic. they do mention islamophobia. i think anti—muslim bigotry is a much better way to go in terms of using this as a descriptive term. and, you know, obviously this needs to be opposed and highlighted. i would say, how do i sort of say this in a sort of nice way without getting into too much trouble? there is a problem within. i'd be curious

to know what percentage of this anti—muslim bigotry is from jews, and what percentage of anti—semitism is from muslims. i would say that there is a problem within the muslim community with bigotry and it feels a little bit like frustrating to go, oh, we've been victims of it. it's like you're also there's a lot of hatred. not of course, not all muslims, we've got to say it, you know, and that's true . but you know, and that's true. but i'm a segment within that community. there's a problem, i think. >> yeah. i mean, again, it's hard to know without knowing the stats, i guess. but when you think of anti—muslim hatred, i, i which is hilarious, but like the way i'm sort of like wearing when you look at these sort of stats, i guess it just sort of says you don't, you sort of think it comes from a certain group. i don't think the jewish people are the perpetrators of this. i my impression of jewish people are you guys are nerds. i'm sorry. we are . you're more i'm sorry. we are. you're more you're right, you're right. an email rather than get physical.

>> so sexy nerd. you know what i think that we got away with that story. yeah, we will find out in the future. finally, in this section, the times jonathan and the bbc could lose their captive audiences wallets. yes, well, don't worry, because hezbollah bought a lot of tv licenses after the coverage that's recently been going on. so the story in the times plans to decriminalise licence fee could cost bbc £1 billion, which is also known as gary lineker's salary. so nandy, backed by shabana mahmood , the justice shabana mahmood, the justice secretary, is expected to say that the evasion of the £169.50 annual fee for a bbc tv licence should no longer be a criminal offence, and now , effectively, offence, and now, effectively, the bbc are worried that this is going to cost them a lot of money because people knowing that it's no longer a criminal offence are going to be emboldened, shall we say, to accept they can be fined, escalating fights like parking tickets that escalates and then the bailiffs get you have to pay parking tickets. well, let's see what someone like when you get

home. yeah. is this inevitable, adam? and arguably also, is this the right thing to do? >> i mean, i'm going to go out on a limb and say, i, i like the fact that we have a government sort of funded or we have a british institution on the bbc. i don't like the way the bbc is going at the moment, but i do think it's important. it does separate us from the from the rest of the world. and i think some of our radio stations of the bbc are particularly good. i do i'm not going to have you on adam. you've done this. no, it's very true. >> check out josh howie is losing it on the bbc sounds app. there we go. >> so josh is doing all right? yeah, exactly. i do think this is inevitable, but i do think decriminalising it is just it's funny because the bbc were like so happy when labour got involved. they were like, oh we're gonna we're gonna do great. they're going to be extra nice to us. and they're like, well, we've just got to not make it funny. people will inevitably stop. i'd stop paying for it if they didn't. >> well, i sorry, i was gonna say, i think one of the reasons why this is being brought to light now is because it's a, it's a crime that particularly

affects women, especially middle aged women or older women who may be considered vulnerable because they're the ones who often answer the door to the handsome bbc licence guy. and then they get arrested. is that what it is? >> yeah, it does say that when they said women are . so is that they said women are. so is that like a sly way of saying women are the ones sit in front of the tv all day and no, no, it's actually worse than that. >> what they're saying is they tried to make it simpler to pay following a gender disparity review, i.e. what they're saying is women are unable to work out the how technologically. i don't know how gender got into it before no , no, that's what know. >> it's such a bizarre thing. >> it's such a bizarre thing. >> it's such a bizarre thing. >> it's like saying, well , women >> it's like saying, well, women don't open their posts and that might just be my wife. by the way. yeah. no, no. my girlfriend. so there is, there is. and also lack of this might be connected to lack of prison spaces at the moment. lack of court time, giving over to this. so it could be freeing up that. and there is like you say , this and there is like you say, this gender disparity element to it. i've always been a fan of the bbc until about a year ago. we're halfway but plenty

more to

welcome back to headliners. we jump welcome back to headliners. we jump back in with saturday's telegraph. adam, where eu states must recognise transgender identities. okay, i'm going to admit it brexit was good. >> yeah. unless you're a romania because i think that they were saying that it doesn't matter because this this particular case happened before brexit took place . but yeah, basically this place. but yeah, basically this is from the telegraph and it says the eu states must recognise trans gender identities across the bloc. a top court rules. so judges in luxembourg say romania has broken the eu law by refusing to accept british a british romanian transgender man's change. and so this has been hailed as a monumental victory woman becoming a man. >> just to help explain anybody a transgender man. >> yes. that's that's the you're

you're very good at this. yeah. >> a lot of experience in the last three years. >> yeah. well you had that transition yourself . yeah. so we transition yourself. yeah. so we had that. they had that monumental victory. it's been called a monumental victory for the trans people. and this, this, this sets a precedent across the whole of europe. and i think it's interesting because you've got like countries in europe, which would be maybe not not bothered, not too bothered. and then you've got countries who are very anti this, which would be hungary, slovakia, bulgaria, they've all got either planned laws in place or they planned laws in place or they plan to put laws in place to prevent gender identity changes . prevent gender identity changes. how do i feel about this . how do i feel about this. personally, i'm not that bothered about that. >> not exactly. >> not exactly. >> i'm not no, no i'm not bothered about what your opinion is. oh okay. >> good. no. >> good. no. >> how do you feel about it? >> how do you feel about it? >> i think the way i see it is like, look, what kind of what kind of trans person is this? is this someone who's self—identifying or is it one of these? is it one of the few people who's gone through the long procedure and then they've done it? the correct way, you

know, so this is the crux of it. >> yes. this person, i believe, has had a gender recognition certificate. it takes five years. yeah, whatever. now there are arguments that that's still of course. and it's true. doesn't change your biological sex. no. also this is a biological woman becoming a man. and that isn't going to be a threat to biological women in terms of their spaces and whatever. but there is a serious issue here because it is now. jonathan set a legal press. jonathan. jonathan. okay. this is set a legal precedent for self—id across, you know, countries like spain have implemented that. now, that is an issue. now that men, biological men can declare intact biological men , which is intact biological men, which is 90% of trans identifying women are intact. men can now do that , are intact. men can now do that, and they will be able to have those rights, biological female rights across the eu. that's an issue. jonathan. yeah. no, it certainly is. and what's interesting is there are certain countries like hungary and slovakia and romania who have either banned or are planning to

ban people legally changing their genders. so there's going to be presumably more of this conflict, people moving from one country to the next. and there won't be the same rules which will be, you know, i guess, uproot certain people's lifestyles if they're aiming to move from one country to the other. so it's just you know, it's not consistent. and there it's not consistent. and there it goes against the eu project. the whole point is that laws are sort of universal. well, exactly. yeah. well look, the eu's got two years left. oh okay. we heard it there. more telegraph. jonathan. and can someone please give this book festival a dictionary? i know the dictionary has been banned from book festivals. oh yeah. is it too controversial now? it has. yeah. it's horrible words in it. it tries to define woman like. yes. oh well same joke. so cheltenham literature festival compares gender critical views with racism and homophobia. all things adam saying he's a big fan of so. absolutely. so the festival which actually begins today. can't believe i missed that. today. can't believe i missed that . they sent an today. can't believe i missed that. they sent an email to everybody hosting talks at the event, asking them to follow new

guidance in order to protect both themselves and the festival from complaints. so it says, if dunng from complaints. so it says, if during any of your events, there are any speakers who share an opinion that could be deemed controversial, you need to reinforce the fact that this is the speaker's opinion and does not belong to the festival itself. and they've also sent out an email with a bunch of things that speakers shouldn't be talking about. so it includes gender critical views, misogyny, extreme political views, including those on migration, sexuality. et cetera . et cetera. sexuality. et cetera. et cetera. so i mean, i feel yeah, yeah, it's this that's why we're here. we're not going to be invited. i feel like, to the cheltenham festival. i mean, we write a book. in all seriousness, this surely and gender critical people, adam, have got very offended by this comparison. it's you know, stating biological reality, which is a protected belief in this country. now , to compare that to country. now, to compare that to being racist or misogynist or homophobic or whatever is a disgusting comparison, right?

yeah, it is . yeah, it is. >> and, you know, the book nerds need to sort their stuff out. really. it's when i, i mean, when i saw that list that jonathan just mentioned, which is saying, you know, you can't, you know, you shouldn't mention anything. topics about misogyny, political views , migration, political views, migration, sexuality, gender, military action, race, religion , action, race, religion, ethnicity. i was just thinking, does this sound like a student union comedy gig? yes. i just kind of thought, well, this is just an extension now. they're going to think this is going to be switching it up, but i guess i guess the thing is, like, if this is on a serious note, if this is on a serious note, if this is on a serious note, if this is what they're implementing now, where does this where does this go? where does this end, does this mean like something like salman rushdie's satanic verses might be deemed offensive and like, we can't have that because then we're going back as a society to how we were, you know, a few decades ago. >> and it's essentially an arts festival pre—emptively censoring artists, which just seems a contradiction in terms. well, it's also to have this idea that you're going to have an uncontroversial, uncontroversial book festival surely goes against the idea of the free expression of ideas. and anybody could get offended by anything that doesn't make it necessarily

well, they have they have like it's incredibly boring. >> they have non conventional non, non controversial sort of books. non, non controversial sort of books . and they used to be pop books. and they used to be pop up or kids books. yes. books. and they used to be pop up or kids books. yes . pre 2015. up or kids books. yes. pre 2015. what about this. >> oh and by the way what about this. you know what it is. it's like it sounds like this is coming from a place of we don't want complaints. yeah that seems to be the problem now is that all these whatever festivals, companies, everybody scared of the mob just don't want a complaint. it's like, just get used to complaints. and when people complain, just go. you know what? i agree with you. i don't agree with you. whatever it is . but everybody is afraid it is. but everybody is afraid of just getting like, there are people. sponsors are worried about losing. it's the sponsors. it's not the actual, it's not. they don't want to get a strongly worded email. they don't want well then the sponsors need to stand up or whatever. by the way, i'd just like to do a little plug for the battle of ideas, which is in london in a couple of weeks. you can go to the battle of ideas onune can go to the battle of ideas online and buy some tickets. it's a very, very good weekend of controversial discussion and ideas. onto the times . there's ideas. onto the times. there's no complaints. yeah, where we've become a nation of atheists.

ironically, that might save us. >> yeah . so this is the times >> yeah. so this is the times britain enters its first atheist age as a number of non—believers surge. so i'm actually part of this demographic. i'm an atheist. i what's interesting about this is they're sort of saying how like, yeah , people, saying how like, yeah, people, people who are like maybe either religious or, you know, they don't pass on their religious beliefs, their children. i think what's really interesting about this statistic and this story is we need to differentiate atheists from agnostics. the as jim jefferies called them , the jim jefferies called them, the wishy washy agnostics. and these annoying spiritual people. being annoying spiritual people. being an atheist, a true atheist is very lonely because you think there's absolutely nothing. afterwards you can't think, oh, there's a higher being. it's a very. and i'm a self—proclaimed lazy atheist or a dumb atheist because i haven't read all the scriptures, so i'm just taking a guess at it. i think in terms of actually educated atheists who've read all the religious doctrines and then come to it,

there's probably one. >> well, no, no, there's well, they they called dawkins here an anti—atheist, which is interesting in terms of informed, but they are the argument is that they are putting all of those characteristics. you said together the kind of wishy washiness putting them all together. and i guess they're talking about people who follow an organised religion and that now people who don't are the sort of are the majority. yeah, well, they also said that atheists can also be defined as anyone who lives their life as if god does not exist, which is kind of like me and my student loan. i just sort of pretend it's not there, do whatever i want and hope for the best. >> but with the student loan, it almost definitely does exist and it will come for you. >> but the weird thing is that in judaism you can be religious and not really believe in god. still, like that's a worst. the focus is more on like carrying out the rituals . but i know that out the rituals. but i know that seems really weird. >> no, but that makes sense. like doing doing the work, doing the ritual is though, like if it's like or give to charity, great. >> if it's, you know, don't mix

cotton and silk or whatever the thing is that i do know then don't certainly don't do that if you don't believe in the spiritual element to the universe. yeah. it's interesting. this also changes the narrative before we move on, that there's been this idea that christianity is on the decline. there's people out there who are going, oh no, the muslim birth rate. and looking at that and seeing the increase of that, there's obviously less of a drop off in islam. but there's arguments because it's more informed . this is what this informed. this is what this article is really about, is passing on your religion . and passing on your religion. and also islam has certain safeguards within it that prevent people leaving, i.e. apostasy . and you could be apostasy. and you could be killed and yeah, yeah, on your denomination and whatnot. yeah, exactly. but what this is saying is, you know, there's this argument that islam is going to take over or some people say this, this article is not saying that this saying actually more people know atheism or is going to take over, there's not going to take over, there's not going to be a religion that's the majority. >> everyone's going to be believing in crystals by the 2020, you know? >> hey, nothing wrong, nothing wrong with faux pas can heal. daily mail, jonathan. and now a

story about a man who is clearly bad, possibly dangerous, and even a little off the wall. hehe. nice. see , i don't make hehe. nice. see, i don't make michael jackson jokes because they they never land . new york they they never land. new york republican once dressed as michael jackson in blackface for halloween in bombshell that could shake shake up election so a new york republican representative, mike lawler, dressed in blackface while impersonating his musical idol michael jackson several decades ago, said so the gop lawmaker he didn't deny that he actually used makeup to darken his face for the ensemble . for the ensemble. >> i mean, there was a photo evidence, but yeah, yeah, it's not. >> he hasn't gone full trudeau. >> he hasn't gone full trudeau. >> he's gone like sort of a respectful michael jackson. he put on a bronzer. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> i mean, surely you're allowed to put on a bronzer. yeah. and also this is white michael jackson. he's emulating. >> no, no it was, it was he was going well it's all about the era. >> you know if you're doing jackson five, the photo they compared him to was black michael jackson. >> oh really. yeah. >> oh really. yeah.

>> but he'd had a couple of facial surgeries and he looked his best in my opinion. that was before he got freaky with it. >> it's that michael jackson lyric. >> it really matters if you're black when white or something. i can't remember how it goes, but he basically his argument is i'm just such a big fan. but he is. >> yeah, but you that comes across in the article i mean it is it is incredibly unfortunate that he chose the one black singer that he could have got away with just being white. >> yeah, yeah, i know it is. what i think is funny is he's talking about such a fan. he actually turns out he went to court when michael jackson was being done in for, you know, charged with molesting a boy and defending him. and that's the bit that's like with the blackface. that's fine. but this bit is the bad bit. right. one more section to go where traffic get what's coming to him. and holidaymakers staying in all inclusives do not

welcome back to headliners. let's kick this section off with saturday's express , where

saturday's express, where they've managed to make appreciating paintings even more boring. jonathan. oh, that's very uncultured . josh, that's very uncultured. josh, that's not fair. sorry . secrets of not fair. sorry. secrets of mysterious girl with a pearl earring unlocked by brain scan. so the girl with the pearl earring has become one of the most famous portraits in the world. second, possibly to the mona lisa. i've not seen it. i've only ever watched the girl with the pearl necklace. so neuroscientist marten de otter says your attention when looking at a painting is normally drawn to someone's eyes and then the mouth. and this is considered enough to make a snap assessment on them. but apparently with the girl with the pearl earring because she's got eyes, a mouth, and an earring, you go in a weird feedback loop. and that's what makes the painting so interesting. i see. so the fact that she's wearing jewellery. yeah. makes this painting sublime. and it grabs your attention. and he says your brain explodes from all the attention it needs to give to her. it's truly exceptional. so, ladies, if you ever want to just put on an earring to grab a quy's put on an earring to grab a guy's attention, you know what to do. it's quite interesting how it triggers self—reflection,

memory , spatial function, memory, spatial function, navigation, all of that. just from this pattern that's created. i don't know. it's what art is. i don't know. you know, it's a i think it's a i think it's a i think it's a i think it's a i think it's a i think it's a really interesting story. let's move on though, to the times, please. adam with a story about poly relationships. back in my day, we just called it cheating. >> oh, yes . >> oh, yes. >> oh, yes. >> yes. oh, sorry. so, yeah, the. >> this is about forget the throuple. now it's all about the polycule. >> polycule. >> polycule. >> okay, so this to me is definitely. this is basically the idea that relationships are changing. everyone's becoming more progressive. no longer is monogamy. monogamy is not cool. and no longer are throuples. the thing. we are now having open relationships. yeah . and i truly relationships. yeah. and i truly think this is this is born out of the housing crisis. i think people can't afford to have their homes. so now people are just thinking, shall we just be with each other? >> it's never a hot chick. it's. no. it's never. well, also, the blokes, they're called here, they call them. what is it they

call them matters or something like that. but metamours is the guys. but really, they're cucks. surely. oh for sure. >> collective cuts. they called the woman a the hinge, which is the woman a the hinge, which is the most disgusting way to describe someone. >> oh, this all makes me feel a bit sick. >> i refuse to give air to this. why are we making it a thing? >> let's just. it's not us who are doing it. the world society is degrading. this is the world they want you to live in, guys. this is the atheists. surely they're all like in their molecules, right? times. now, jonathan, where apparently snitches get riches. yeah, that's not how it should be. so a teenage parking snitch becomes a teenage parking snitch becomes a millionaire folk hero. so this is a guy who is an 18 year old. he's called nicholas mathai. he's called nicholas mathai. he's an 18 year old german busybody who has reported more than 10,000 parking offenders to police . and he's now a star. police. and he's now a star. only in germany were dobbing your neighbours in make you a celebrity? he's actually. he's getting paid right. he's doing all these like adverts and whatever. and he's he's reported 8% of his town. yeah. for traffic offences , he's got to be hated. >> well, you know, you know, when i first read this story and

i saw this guy, i was like, thank god he wasn't around dunng thank god he wasn't around during 1939. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> so, yeah, in the attic. >> so, yeah, in the attic. >> well, okay. very quickly. finally, the daily star next item and all inclusive hotels could be limiting booze. they better not touch the dessert bar. yeah. >> so this is basically . did bar. yeah. >> so this is basically. did i spell it wrong? >> no . >> no. >> no. >> this is basically a story that british tourists were too loud . we're too noisy. and loud. we're too noisy. and they're basically saying , right. they're basically saying, right. not enough. too much alcohol for you. and they're limiting it . not enough. too much alcohol for you. and they're limiting it. i think this is a good idea. i think this is a good idea. i think this is embarrassing. this only seems to be affecting british tourists, which handle our drinks. >> is that what they're saying? no. >> it's just we take the absolute p and. >> well, obviously, that's what being british is. >> well, obviously, that's what being british is . yeah, yeah, being british is. yeah, yeah, but i think we should have more respect abroad. >> and then they stop treating us. us. >> us. >> i don't want to go on holiday. the show is nearly oven holiday. the show is nearly over. so let's take another quick look at saturday's front pages. the times staff to get more rights from first day at work. the iweekend you're just

going to have to trust us here. the uk warning to israel attack on iran's nuclear sites could drag region into war. the guardian police took bribes to help help al fayed persecute staff . and the daily telegraph. staff. and the daily telegraph. foreign aid cuts sparks cabinet rebellion. daily mirror. strictly . nick i'm out. and strictly. nick i'm out. and finally, daily star. beam me up, scotty. those are your front pages. pretty good. that's all we have time for. thank you to my guest , jonathan and adam. my guest, jonathan and adam. they are available for corporate bookings , so reach out to them. bookings, so reach out to them. we're back tomorrow at 11:00 pm with andrew doyle lewis and nick and if you're watching at 5 am, stay tuned for breakfast. >> yeah, that's pretty good. >> yeah, that's pretty good. >> there will be a light breeze in the morning leading to a warm front , boxed heat pumps, front, boxed heat pumps, sponsors of weather on gb news. >> hello. good evening and welcome to your gb news weather update brought to you by the met office. well, as we head into the weekend, we can expect to see lots of fine weather to start, but it is gradually turning more unsettled from the

west so we can expect to see some wet and windy weather over the weekend. and that's because this area of high pressure, which has brought us that fine to weather end the working week, is generally being replaced by low pressure as it moves in from the west. and we'll start to see this this evening as outbreaks of rain continue to push into the north—west . this a little the north—west. this a little bit heavy at times, particularly towards dawn and turning quite blustery under those cloudier skies too. but elsewhere across much of england and wales there'll be plenty of clear skies overnight, so turning quite chilly may even see some pockets of mist and fog by the morning. so quite a different start in the north—west to start the weekend. plenty of cloud around and some outbreaks of rain, and it is going to be turning rather heavy at times, particularly in western parts similar across northern ireland. a fairly cloudy start with those outbreaks of rain just starting to push into the west. but elsewhere there should be plenty of bright skies to start the weekend. as i say, some pockets of mist and fog around and it will be a fairly chilly start. and then generally there is still plenty of fine and dry weather across the country,

plenty of sunny spells and feeling warm where you catch the sunshine. but that rain will gradually move in more and more across scotland. northern ireland with those outbreaks of rain and still fairly blustery under those cloudier skies . and under those cloudier skies. and nofice under those cloudier skies. and notice these brighter colours here. so some heavy rain moving its way into parts of the far southwest later into saturday. but as i say, where you catch the sunshine with highs of 18 degrees, it should still feel rather pleasant for the time of yeah rather pleasant for the time of year. heading into sunday, a fairly unsettled day. plenty of cloud across the country with some outbreaks of rain. this too could be heavy at times, particularly across the south—west southern parts of wales. later into the day. and that generally leads us into an unsettled week next week. generally, temperatures turning more towards average, so make sure you enjoy the sunshine while it's here. bye for now . while it's here. bye for now. >> we can expect clear skies leading to a light and warm day ahead . lovely boxt sponsoi's sponsors of weather on gb

well . >> welcome to lee anderson's real world tonight on the show, we've got political commentator chloe dobbs. she's going to be joined with our left in the corner benjamin butterworth. we've got the leader of the climate party, ed gemmell, eastenders legend don altman is nasty nick. and we've also got billy gunn. he's the director and owner of imperial heating. but first let's go to the news. >> good evening. the top stories from the gb newsroom. downing street insists its deal to return the chagos islands to mauritius does not change the

approach to other overseas territories. it comes as argentina is now pledging to gain full sovereignty of the falkland islands. however, the government insists its commitment to the falklands is unwavering. former prime minister boris johnson told gb news he thinks the deal is crazy , news he thinks the deal is crazy, but islands being given back to mauritius . mauritius. >> your reaction? >> your reaction? >> crazy. i mean, do i urge viewers of gb news to get out your maps, get out your atlases, check out the chagos islands, see where they are and see where mauritius is a long way away. yes. what is this claim? it's nonsense. it's total nonsense. why are we doing this? sheer political correctness . political correctness. >> sir keir starmer has announced what he calls a game changing £22 billion funding package for projects that capture and store carbon emissions. speaking to workers in liverpool, he said the investment in so—called carbon capture clusters will create thousands of jobs, bring in investments and help meet climate goals. however , green climate goals. however, green campaigners warn the move could

prolong oil and gas