very good evening saturday five. very good evening to you. my friends. welcome to the saturday five where, unlike jaguar's latest woke joke of a marketing disaster, we actually know what we're selling. unapologetic truth and a big dollop of common sense. apart from the end of the panel, jaguar's ad managed to showcase everything except one thing people care about when it comes to their company cars. it's a bit like the church of england's branding problem. everyone quite likes the vibe they quite like knowing the church is there, but no one's quite sure where the god part has gone. honestly, it feels like jaguar's aiming to impress the world's non—binary hipster elite while the rest of us scratch our heads wondering what on earth happened to purpose? well, purpose is alive and well . you'll be pleased to and well. you'll be pleased to know here tonight we've got two doctors on the panel, although, let's be honest, one is far more useful than the other. doctor

renee, our very own florence nightingale of common sense, is here to tackle britain's crumbling health system and give the woke rot infecting it. a much needed dose of antibiotics. and doctor david, for example . and doctor david, for example. well, it's quite different. a university lecturer who knows more about bonkers britain than most. he's also joining us. but i wouldn't want him holding the defib if things went pear shaped tonight. and i go down on my left side . then there's charlie left side. then there's charlie downs. he's our sharpest zoomer here to prove that not all young people are busy painting their nails and apologising for the existence of the west on tiktok. and of course, kai, who probably is doing that. he's so progressive that he thinks jaguar's new logo needs a trans flag and pronouns. i can see him now campaigning for mandatory safe spaces in motorway service stations and arguing that jaguar should come with trigger warnings for the loud noises. poor dears can't handle it. and i'm darren grimes, of course, your shining beacon of truth, your shining beacon of truth, your northern light. what more could you possibly want? let's get cracking before kai starts

petitioning to rename this show something less oppressive. he just suggested we call it sensory sensitive saturday, but let's be absolutely clear, my friends. it ain't that. you all know the drill by now. each host outlines their argument about a chosen topic. then we all pile in and the fur starts to fly. and of course we want your views as well. i've got them open in front of me right now. send them and post your comments by visiting gbnews.com/yoursay. don't forget your questions for ask the five as well. no topics are off limits. and no, i'm not giving you charlie's number. but before we start tearing each other apart , here's his saturday other apart, here's his saturday night news with everyone's favourite friendly ghost, joe casper . caspen >> thanks, darren. good evening . >> thanks, darren. good evening. i'm joe casper in the gb news room . storm babet has claimed room. storm babet has claimed a third life after northamptonshire police confirmed a man died in a two car collision this morning .

car collision this morning. elsewhere, hampshire police said a man in his 60s died after a tree fell on his car. on his car on the a34 near winchester. the force were called earlier this morning where they found the driver of a black mercedes dead at the scene. they added that it's so far unclear if the incident is related to storm babet, but that the cause is under investigation. we've also been told a 34 year old man died in a single vehicle collision in shipley, west yorkshire, this morning. the driver, a 34 year old man from bradford, was treated at the scene but pronounced dead a short time later. west yorkshire police also confirmed that it is currently unclear if this is related to the current weather conditions . the met office has conditions. the met office has issued amber and yellow weather warnings, as well as 16 flood alerts this morning. winds of up to 105mph have been recorded and 13cm of snow has fallen in some parts of the country. in wales, ten people, five adults and five children have been rescued from

a house near llangollen. a north wales fire and rescue service's spokesman said they are all being assessed by ambulance services away from the scene somewhere warm . our northern somewhere warm. our northern ireland reporter dougie beattie is in county, county down for us today and has been urging people today and has been urging people to take care . to take care. >> late last night we. about 3:00 in the morning we had snow. now we've been battered by winds and really, really ice cold rain. it's not sleet . the rain rain. it's not sleet. the rain is just so freezing cold. and what's happened is the roads are now flooded, trees are down and underneath that line water is ice. so anybody that is out and about this morning, please, please be very, very careful . please be very, very careful. >> football now in the premier leagues early kick off chelsea beat leicester city two one. the 3:00 matches have finished and there have been wins for arsenal, brighton and wolves, aston villa and crystal palace and everton

and crystal palace and everton and brentford all drew this evening's kick off between champions manchester city and tottenham hotspur, as kicked off spurs are already two nil up, keeping with sport and two tennis rivals have come together. novak djokovic has appointed his rival andy murray as his coach. the brit said i'm going to be joining novak's team in the off season, helping him to prepare for the australian open . i'm really excited for it open. i'm really excited for it and looking forward to spending time on the same side of the net as novak for a change, helping him to achieve his goals, something that the serb added i am excited to have one of my greatest rivals on the same side of the net as my coach . those of the net as my coach. those are your latest gb news headunes are your latest gb news headlines for now , i'm joe headlines for now, i'm joe caspen headlines for now, i'm joe casper. why i pet it's back to the five with darren grimes for the five with darren grimes for the very latest gb news direct to your smartphone, sign up to news alerts by scanning the qr code, or go to gb news dot com forward slash alerts .

forward slash alerts. >> my friends, it's saturday night and you're with the saturday five. i'm darren grimes and i can promise that you're in for a very lively hour. we're going to crack on with tonight's first debate. you all know me by now. i'm going to abuse my position as chair and kick us off. our american cousins must be watching us with a beer in hand. perhaps. probably not. bud light thinking that we're the world's worst reality show in this country. the nation that gave the world churchill and the magna carta now prance about like a second rate east germany with a better fish and chip shop in sir keir stalin. i beg your pardon? starmer's britain authoritarianism isn't creeping in. it's goose stepping in with a pair of vegan leather sandals. take these new respect orders. i kid you not. that's what he's calling them. it sounds totally harmless. or does it? these targets order anything likely to cause harassment or alarm or

distress. which means anything. the woke brigade doesn't like as a breach of the law. the rozzers are probably outside this studio right now and probably in breach of about five things. our police have nailed selective outrage. you post a cheeky tweet. well, expect a knock at the door. you steal half of tesco up the road while you're handed a loyalty card, and our farmers, well, they're booted off their land for wind turbines that generate less energy than a hamster wheel. while we import food from countries that don't know or care who the teenage truant greta is and send £500 million of your money in aid abroad for foreign farmers and energy while we're told to pop on another jumper, eat cold beans so ed miliband can walk around smug at cop29, the biggest con since the european super league , tried to

european super league, tried to convince us that it was about the fans. trump would never for stand this errant nonsense. he'd secure the border, he would crank up our heating, and he would hand brits their dignity back. britain's not illegals power, not poverty and proper jobs. not yet more diversity and inclusion officers . honestly, inclusion officers. honestly, trump taken over might not be such a bad idea. cheaper energy , such a bad idea. cheaper energy, food on shelves, affordable and no one arrested for suggesting britons being unsafe is worth it. so we can be kind. so don, how about it, my fella ? you've how about it, my fella? you've already got part of scotland. invade the rest of us. we'll surrender faster than you can say. respect. order! the country that repelled the nazis can't even repel a rubber dinghy. make us the 51st state of the us of a. and let's forget stalin. i beg your pardon? i've done it again, starmer. beg your pardon?