with sam to tonight's headlines with sam francis. >> the top story tonight at 11:00 after 15 months of war, israel and hamas have agreed to a ceasefire and hostage release deal a ceasefire and hostage release deal. earlier tonight, us president joe biden confirmed that plan . that plan. >> at long last, i can announce a ceasefire and a hostage deal has been reached between israel and hamas for more than 15 months of conflict that began with hezbollah's brutal massacre on october the 7th. more than 15 months of terror for the hostages, their families, the israeli people, more than 15 months of suffering by the innocent people of gaza fighting innocent people of gaza fighting in gaza will stop. and soon the hostages will return home to their families. >> well, the deal, expected to

start on sunday, involves releasing 33 israeli hostages in exchange for palestinian prisoners, along with a surge of humanitarian aid into gaza. negotiations for the next second phase, full troop withdrawal, more hostage releases and lasting peace are then set to begin. two weeks into the truce. in other news, the uk government is reviving a controversial free speech law for universities just months after it was paused over concerns about protecting hate speech. the higher education freedom of speech act, passed in 2023, gave universities a duty to promote free speech and allowed the regulator to fine institutions or student unions that failed to comply. critics, including the education secretary, though, paused that law last summer, warning it could expose universities to costly legal action. now, a government source says the act will be adjusted to balance academic freedom with a proper complaints process. and police

are investigating after a woman reported her drink was spiked in a bar at the houses of parliament. the parliamentary researcher made the complaint to staff and security on the 7th of january, just days after mps returned from their christmas break. the met police says they are supporting the victim and have confirmed an investigation is now underway, though no arrests have been made so far. home secretary yvette cooper has condemned the act, calling it disturbing and serious. that's the news on gb news. plenty more still to come. now, though, it's time for headliners for the very latest gb news direct to your smartphone, sign up to news alerts by scanning the qr code or go to gbnews.com/alerts. >> hello and welcome to headliners, your first look at tomorrow's top stories with three comedians. i'm one of them. there's two over there. before we dive in, we're going

to have a quick look at what steve and nick will have to work with on thursday's front pages. we're going to do it together. it's exciting. when you start off with the guardian hope of end to dark chapter with israel—hamas ceasefire. this is obviously the big news of the day. ceasefire. after 15 months of war, not a genocide of war. and i notice you guys aren't chipping in because they look. no, they look happy. i'll give you that. they do. the woman in the middle does not look happy. i looked at the face. the hands are happy. >> the face is less happy. >> the face is less happy. >> i do think this is a better response than there were pictures that came out when there was 11 and ceasefire, and they celebrated by shooting guns in the air. that's not the way to celebrate a ceasefire. so we've got the daily telegraph. they have pressure builds on starmer and adams. this is, of course, about gerry adams and supposedly getting a payout with this new deal troubles legislation going through. and they've got a picture. so i'm amazed they're giving gerry adams money. when i grew up he was like a figure of terror. in your childhood, it's like giving. freddy krueger couldn't even get voice over work. next

one the times. ceasefire. joy on both sides. so they're being slightly more centrist. and the guardian has one photo. and then the telegraph has another. but then times have got both of them. and then we have the daily mail. the shame and horror of nhs corridor corridor care. this is, of course, our failing nhs service with the royal college of nursing laying out a big 460 page report to say that guess what.7 underinvestment. this will be the impact of it. yeah, we worry about assisted dying being the thing unassisted. dying seems to be what's happening. it's terrible. indeed. the mirror. chaos in hospital corridors. the same story with a picture of a hospital corridor. and linda nolan has died. and a nice photo of her at the top. metro a double injustice. this is the andy moxon who was 17 years in jail for a crime that he did not commit. and he still

has not got any money and that seems very unfair. finally, we have the daily star solved and how to eat a cadbury's creme egg. that is the story that i am desperate to get to, but we have lots and lots of news. before we get to that particular point. let's start then. steve with the guardian, please. yep. hope of end to dark chapter with israel—hamas. ceasefire and hope is the key word in this because this is either i mean, it's on the front pages of all the papers. this is either the biggest story around or not, depending on what happens in the future, because it's three phase and there's negotiations to still be happening on these phases. let's hope. hope key word that this actually works. the timing of it is all about trump and biden. i think the pressure that it's actually interesting that both want to get it done. biden wants to get it done during his watch. trump wants to get it over and done with before his watch. and that's added that additional pressure that that's put the ducksin pressure that that's put the ducks in the row that a ceasefire might happen. let's hope it's a permanent one. let's hope it's a permanent one. let's hopeit hope it's a permanent one. let's hope it brings about the

solutions. but i don't know man. it's all about the hope. a few very tense days. i love how the guardian here they do mention the hostages in one little line. they say the 33 israeli hostages in exchange for jailed palestinians, which actually means terrorist palestinians. but the rest of the front page, no mention of the actual hostages and just a picture and a joy hostages and just a picture and a joy exhausted palestinians hardly dare to believe. well, what about the exhausted israelis, nick? yes, there's that, but it is the guardian, remember? >> but biden claims it's interesting what steve said about trump. >> trump is claiming credit, but so is biden. >> biden claimed last spring he he did. >> this basically must have been his one good day when he was lucid, he didn't think gaza was a 90s footballer. >> he just he just created peace on that one day. >> since then, he just disappeared. he hasn't even. no one's even seen biden since kamala arrived. >> but he popped up and said, this was me, guys. but if you brought about peace in the middle east, you'd probably take a while off as well. you'd be like, i think i've done that, sit down. but are you sure that he just woke up and he doesn't think it still is me? because he did look a bit shaky in that interview. what i quite liked were the people standing behind

him had blinken, not blinken. and then you had kamala just just angry. just angry, just fuming. why is trump talking to obama just furious? the daily telegraph has a similar story as its main story. well, picture of relieved israelis getting hostages home. but whilst they got on daily telegraph, well, this big thing is pressure builds on starmer in adams row. as i was saying, it's amazing to me that we would give gerry adams money. >> he's like a i'm not like i try and stay out of the irish thing. >> that's kind of my rule generally. but he was someone he was like a figure of fear for us in my childhood, and now we're giving him taxpayers money. >> or we may be, because starmer may be repealing these troubles legislations. and i'm troubled by it, and i'm afraid i am troubled by it. >> and it's all to do with the attorney general, lord turner. and it's all complicated. >> he represented him. i mean, the whole thing is complicated. >> it's the news guys. but he represented him in certain cases and was it okay? and he's defended it in all this. the bottom line is it's all completely insane. but this is this is the labour government. starmer has said that he's not he's going to do what he can to

try and block gerry. gerry adams doesn't get any money. yes, it would actually during that should have said why it should be blocked as well. you know go down this a bit harder than rather than you know we'll try and do it with one. i worry this is going to be like the new ppi. do you remember that weird penod do you remember that weird period where you kept getting the calls like, oh, did you take out a loan? you're going to get the calls going? like, were you a member of the ira? and if so, press five or something and then who knows what happens. very good. yes. what's the times going with then? ceasefire joy on both sides. they've got the balance you're after. look you say pictures. the same size pictures as well to make sure they're fair. and if you stare down the middle and defocus like one of those stereoscopic ones, magic eye pictures, you can't really work out anything. so i mean, we've covered that story. isuppose mean, we've covered that story. i suppose their, their coverage of it is a little bit more balanced, but you want the balance. you've had your guardian and the telegraph will say online, there's been lots of footage of palestinians shooting gunsin footage of palestinians shooting guns in the street and sort of going, this is a big victory. but supposedly there was a genocide. and then suddenly all these people have appeared and well—fed with their mobile phones, all taking photos and films balance. i like i like the palestinians, but i was trying to give the balance. but what

bothers me is that's why i've put you over there, nick. thank you. yeah. it's better. it's obviously it's good. >> it's. >> it's. >> people can't get too excited because it's probably temporary. we don't know. >> but what bothers me is if it really was just trump's threat, you know, trump says bring back the hostages or all hell will break loose. you think like, why couldn't it have been done earlier? >> like if just trump threatening is all we need, we just need more trump threats. it's just so frustrating that what was biden doing for four years? if it was, if it really was that, well, it's been 15 months and obviously trying to play months and obviously trying to play both sides. there's a really interesting story here at the bottom, though, if you don't mind getting into it, because it's actually got some facts, which is unusual. you like facts? yeah. surge in mobile phone robberies, driving saw soaring knife crime. so i guess if we weren't all on our phones all the time with phones worth nicking, there wouldn't be as much knife crime victim blaming. that's. well, effectively it is victim blame. the signs that say when you leave a tube station, don't hold your phone. it's victim blaming, isn't it? it's like i want to look like i've got friends. it's like saying, don't dress like that. that's nearly as well. go on the tube, get on a train and leave london and just be just go somewhere safe. but they sort of take a bit of. they take a bit of a

detour in this article starts talking about white people and black people. come on, tell us all about it, steve. come on steve. mr statistics, i've got to get in enough trouble. the which of the stats that you want to break down. i want you to specifically talk about black people. steve. black people accounted for 49% of the people fatally stabbed. that's less than half. there you go. that's how you spin the stats. but they represent 13.5% say that. that's that's what. but yeah, that's part of it. >> i was shocked by the headline surge in mobile phone robberies, driving soaring knife crimes like, hang on, the crime is driving another car. >> it's like a number of kittens killed driving number of puppies killed. >> like, how can one unless they're knifing the people that are taking their phones? >> but of course, it turns out it's because they're just they are just bringing a knife and saying, give me your phone. i've had my phone robbed. you can't get a phone out anywhere in london. well, they always say that you're more likely to be stabbed by your own knife, which is why i'd recommend carrying one of those prop ones where the blade just goes into the hill. they say that? yeah. do you have. because someone's going to, like, grab it off you?

that's what they said when we were kids. they said, don't carry a knife because then someone could grab it off you and stab you. not that it was bad to carry it. that was more london was how it is. the new rule is those were the old knife rules. bazooka carry heavy weapons. what's the daily mail then? got nick. oh, well, they've got the shame and horror of nhs corridor care, so we've got a lot of good news coming. this is. this is just so dystopian, so modern, you know, uk modern nhs so dead patients are lying uncovered for hours in a&e because nhs staff are too overstretched to notice. you'd think you'd notice. >> yeah. i mean how i this is it seems like a made up headline. >> it's so insane. >> so this is the nhs and we always talk about nhs reform. we've got to do something. >> well give them more money. is that the answer? well no, it's not the answer. just an endless black hole to use one of keir starmers favourite phrases, we've got to actually, there was a debate about this on michelle's show between rupert lowe and the labour bloke. it's all about do you just give them more money or do you just or do we need to just reform the whole thing? of course we've got michelle's show. the only other show that you watch on the channel. it's a good show.

>> nigel's got a good show now. >> nigel's got a good show now. >> i haven't watched this one, but i'm always looking forward. you always specifically mentioned michelle's show. i'm just whatever. yeah, i mean, you watch our show. no, i haven't seen it, but i'm looking forward to seeing this one. i listen on dab when i'm on my way back from gigs, so if anything, i don't know what people look like. i turned up, i didn't realise you'd lost your hair. yeah. you joined the crew. the is the solution to turn the corridors into rooms, i suppose. but then how do you get from one room to another one? yeah, i hadn't thought if you don't have any corridors. yeah. no, no. so there's also an article there. top. i'm 55 and have adhd. no, you don't iicsa. this show is about adhd. like we've gone through so fast. i feel like i've just. we've got so much news, nick. so much news. what? what actually the mirror. let's go straight to the star then. because i really want to find out about this one. this is the. this is the one that i'm. this is the big story for me of the day. this is the solved . after day. this is the solved. after years and years of soul searching and fevered debate, 100% legit boffins today can reveal the perfect way to eat a cadbury creme egg. i don't even need to read it. i already know

it. it's straight in all in one in the car after a gig crying. okay, that was a good gig, was it? oh, that's the usual. what about you do you don't do you do cadbury's creme eggs? no, not you don't seem like a cadbury creme kind of guy. obviously a lot of chocolate, which won't surprise any viewer, but cadbury creme egg isn't that too sweet? even for me, i feel like i've met my match. that's it. but it's like it's all condensed into one ball. you couldn't eat more than one, though, could you? two at once pretend you're the godfather two at once. steve by the five pack used to be a six pack. now i know why you needed to get on the ozempic. because two you're having. there is no way i won't gain my weight. hamster with i can, i can fast up to christmas, but between christmas and easter i will get fat again. i love the cream. it'sjust will get fat again. i love the cream. it's just the front page. and they are. they're enticing. they want you to spend £1.10, as louis schaefer would say, to buy the newspaper to find out what the newspaper to find out what the most perfect way. because it doesn't. you think it's i. i wouldn't even take the foil off if i didn't have fillings. no, no, it's all about. that's so funny that £1.10, as louis schaefer would say, that's his catchphrase. yeah. the price of a newspaper. what a legacy. all right, well, that's all the front pages done picked apart,

but plenty more to come. what do you need to do if you want to move to sweden? and what is getting

welcome back to headliners. we're going to start with thursday's mail . steve and thursday's mail. steve and sweden has a new citizenship test. is it to build a chest of drawers? nice. well, do you know what? this sounds great ikea joke, is it? oh, i get it now i got it. make you laugh. there are always some migrants left over at the end. is that the other punchline to it? migrants will have to prove that they respect western values, demonstrate honest living and pass a test on. dot dot dot swedish society. that's the bit where you read the headline. oh no, it's not here. oh well, never mind. and the government said it wants to toughen up rules for obtaining nationality. and you can follow the logic here. you should presume that citizenship of your nation is worth something. and if it's worth something. and if it's worth something, there should be some standards. you should be able to link that to it. and the migration minister, johan forssell, said that citizenship

must be earned and not just handed out unconditionally. look, if you're a nation where the most famous thing about you is your blondness, you probably do have to control immigration. if your main trait is recessive, you're going to have to watch what's happening over there. that's going to be a problem for them. steve, coming out with a eugenics dynasty but not using the word so i thought i'd get away with it, he said. it's crucial to be very clear about the values. there is equality between sexes. you must marry whoever you want. i mean, it should be whomever. but it's his second language, isn't it? girls and boys have the same rights, if that's what you're listing as the standards that you should be meeting, that's fine. that's not kind of like burnham close. all the borders is. you think rape is bad? that's might want to add that to it as well. check. yeah, yeah a couple of things there. i like the way when steve pronounces swedish names, he turns into the chef from the muppets. that was enjoyable. yes, sweden. >> they seem to be tougher on immigration now. they recently claimed to have achieved net negative migration, didn't they? which was interesting. immigration. and that was interesting because we sort of they seem kind of lefty sort of places like denmark, but they seem to be tougher on this than

we've been. and this is this is okay. things like the citizenship going to eight years instead of five years having to learn the language or the language exam, but we don't know how stringent the exam is. but okay, not bad, but some of it is a little bit vague. this idea of common swedish identity. this is where all european countries are running into trouble. because what does that really mean when they list some of the values it turns out to be? family is important, but it's not. stand above the law. there's equality between the sexes. you can marry whoever you want. >> that's not i think it means don't. don't be forced to marry your cousin. yeah, essentially. that's. you're translating it. yeah. >> that's the so the so the values mean liberalism and anti certain extremist views or religions. but that that doesn't make you particularly swedish or british or anything. >> it's where we're struggling. but that's why i think it will work when they do it. and it wouldn't work here is because they don't have a sense of hating their own identity as much as we do. for which i blame hollywood. every villain has an engush hollywood. every villain has an english accent, and that's why we're the bad guys. no, no, not. but also there was the swedish villain in die hard. remember him? it might be the empire. >> did they? >> did they? >> quite as recently as us. yeah. that one. that's interesting. i mean, they, they

had 163,000 asylum seekers there in 2015. there are parts of sweden now supposedly sort of that are no go zones. there's bombings. rapes have gone off the charts. so they have got massively tough on it. and it has seemingly worked in that they have managed to get their migration way down to 9000 last yean migration way down to 9000 last year, and whether it can be implemented here would be interesting. i personally there are two things that i would do if i was doing running citizenship checks in the uk. you tend to trump though. this is what i would do. okay, everybody. number one, mr miyagi, it's difficult. number one is you have to draw a picture of the prophet muhammad to get into the country, to get to get into the country, to get to get into the country, to get to get citizenship. all right. number two, just to show that you're okay with blasphemy laws in this country, right? or if you don't want to draw prophet muhammad, you have to sit there when someone just draws a nice, not not a horrible picture of the prophet muhammad, like a nice picture, like handsome and all of that. but like, you have to not get angry about it is my

point. okay? number two is you. when you're queuing up to get your passport, you're like, if your passport, you're like, if you you're queuing up for ages and if you push in, you don't get the passport and there are like cameras on you and you have to queue up patiently. and then the queue sort of gets worse. >> with the second one. i'd like to distance myself from the first one, but i agree with the queuing thing. >> you told me to say the muhammad stuff. i really, i really did before you said, josh, i'll pay you £5 if you say you're the muhammad stuff. >> is that all it would cost? >> is that all it would cost? >> £5. that's amazing. he just did it for free. so for a fiver? definitely. all right, well, we'll see how it goes. but it's interesting how like you say, these very sort of liberal, famously liberal countries have had to become illiberal to protect their liberal. yeah. does that make sense? all right then we're going to go on now to then we're going to go on now to the telegraph. nick. and does this now mean that we have an extra 9 billion to fill up that black hole. yeah. >> starmer drops attempt to sign chagos deal before trump returned. this is i don't know what's going on because starmer was allegedly trying to get through this deal to give away islands for no reason, and he

wanted to get it through before trump because trump doesn't like it. but the mauritian government seems to be holding it up, basically because they want more money, and they think they can squeeze them because they think they're in a weak position. that's what i can gather from it. but it's strange because if they hold it up and trump gets in, surely he just destroys the whole thing and says, let's start this again. and we've seen from the inauguration humiliation of starmer not being invited, even though there wasn't a precedent for that. trump invites 12 world leaders, doesn't invite starmer. you've seen how quickly he can get the cold shoulder, so it might be smart for labour. i don't know if this is the reason, but it might be smart for them to wait and see what trump does, which is now what is going to happen. >> yeah, they i mean, starmer says, or someone speaking for the government says america won't be given a veto. but then later in the article, they say they won't do it unless everyone agrees. so i think everyone gets agrees. so i think everyone gets a veto. but you've misunderstood what a veto is. look on this. i'm annoyed that it wasn't even run through our parliament anyway, after all of the noises being made about. our parliament is sovereign. there shouldn't be a government thing, but it also shouldn't be the government of another country making a decision on this. the fact that we didn't even get the

representatives in our representatives in our representative democracy having a chat about this in parliament, that's the thing. that's ridiculous. so i think it's good, by the way, it was the tories who were initially putting this deal through and doing it, like you say, cleverly put so much of the work in place here and then they're going, well, this is terrible. i can't believe they're doing it. it just doesn't make any sense to pay just doesn't make any sense to pay billions of pounds to give away something. >> it's insane. and i've always loved chagos. i haven't just i didn't just learn about it in the last few weeks. >> chagos is like, is chagos is what it means to be british as far as i'm concerned. chagos chagos one of my favourite islands than canvey. yes. yeah, of course i've got a board game , of course i've got a board game, so. but i think what it is, i think what they were trying to do, they were trying to get it through and it was like a game, you know grandma, you know, i don't know what they call it in different cultures, you know, grandma's whispers or you know, the game where you're like creepy, like in a squid game where the thing turns around and they were trying to get the deal through, and it's like, then trump would turn around, what time is it, mr wolf? what time? yeah, exactly. >> so you're trying to understand our culture. i don't know what it's called in other cultures like yours. >> northern, because my wife

plays it, but she she plays the new zealand version of it. but the point is, it was like trump was looking, and then we'd stop and be like, no, nothing to see here. and then trump would look away at his flags or whatever. we've got story we've got coming up, and then we're like, let's get the deal done. no. >> yeah. just for the record, in the north, it's called factory. you work in a factory until you die at age 30 in the north. >> our grandmas are so young they can hear you coming. it's terrible. it sounds really good. chagos chagos guardian steve. and with a bit of help, trump gets to be erect, full mental image. that's not going to slow me down on this story. trump gets way as flags fly full staff, which is how i like to do things. inauguration despite jemmy carter's death. here's your timeline. jimmy carter dies normally. you then have flags at half mast, and that would the 30 day period would overlap with the inauguration. so he said on truth social, i'm on there. follow me at mr steven. alan, are you really on truth social? of course i am. yeah. are you on blue sky as well? i'm on all of it. i don't want other people to get the username. i've not posted much, but i will now, he said. the way he's written it, he's like the dems have deliberately done it the way. i wouldn't have been surprised if

he said like jemmy took one for the team just to make him look conspiracy. yeah. and so he said, like because of the death of president jimmy carter, the flag may, for the first time ever during an inauguration, be at half mast. no, 1973 was a half mast for richard nixon. so. but why let facts get in the way? it's on truth social. so it should be true and social. so surely he should take it down. what do you think he deserves? trump deserves the full, full mass. >> well, it's interesting because trump understands image. so he doesn't want it to be there with the flags at half mast when he gets in there. it's very important to him. and it also shows it's a display of power, because there is a political theory that the sovereign is he who decides the state of exception. basically, if you can just twist the rules, that shows that you're the one truly in power. so the fact that trump's been able to get away with it shows that maybe this administration is going to go along better than the last one where he didn't always get to do what he wanted. no, because he said like, no, i'm having the flag and he's won. so that is significant. >> but you only get to be president twice, maybe in his time 3 or 4 times. let's move on to the guardian. and people are questioning whether allowing people to commit suicide is a good thing or not. it seems like these guys are saying it

probably is a good thing. >> this is a yeah, this is a tncky >> this is a yeah, this is a tricky one. it's doctors to speak out against changes to proposed assisted dying law in england and wales. and it's basically the british medical association is saying that doctors must be allowed to raise assisted dying sensitively. don't worry guys, it'll be sensitive with parents, patients if it becomes law. and it's very strange to me because it changes the relationship of the doctor to the patient. if you're saying, hey, might you want to die? >> and that's just a very beautiful bedside manner, though, nick, you like the way i did it, but they're saying it'd be unprecedented legal restriction to not allow them. >> but obviously, once you allow this, we look at the way antidepressants get doled out. will death just be doled out willy nilly? this is this is obviously my concern, and i'm very worried about it because no one, no doctor has the ethical qualification for this. they they've got medical qualifications, but who can possibly have this? i mean, surgeons have to make these decisions sometimes about life or death, but should it be up to a doctor to just put this on the table? i say probably not. >> what do you think about it coming from the bma, the british

medical association, who haven't exactly showered themselves in glory recently? they're pro medicalising autistic gay kids to make them infertile, seemingly, i don't know. i've read all of this, and i thought this was more about that fundamental moral issue, the ethical issue about whether you raise to someone the concept that they might want to vote for killing themselves. that seems even bigger than the political complaints about the union that we're talking about. and especially when you look at those front pages, corridors full of people who have put such a pressure just because the system can't handle it on the nhs and say to doctors, what are you the older have you thought about? yeah, i don't think that's right. >> and matthew parris already wrote openly in the times saying it should become taboo to hang around when you're old. so that's the context. >> and you saw obviously the thing about esther rantzen and this new miracle drug, that's that's great news for her that now hopefully she can live a much longer life. but this is what people were saying was like, you know, they were going, we're going to restrict it just to people who had six months left to live. but of course, turns out suddenly a miracle

cure comes out. so you don't know who's got six months. but i mean, i'm not necessarily fundamentally against it. the idea that the doctors shouldn't be allowed to raise it, i quite like it seems like one of the protections that should be put in place you don't want. it's like inception. you don't want them trying to generally kind of nudge you towards it. like, have you ever thought about not being around too long? it's icky. that's it. it's icky. icky, icky. still to come, who is replacing gary lineker? and do they understand world affairs even less than him? and who is being racist to british people? find in two.

welcome back to headliners. we're just going to go through the front pages again. we have the front pages again. we have the guardian hope of end to dark chapter with israel—hamas ceasefire. this is obviously the good news that the hostages will be released. 33, in the initial batch, and we'll see where things go from there. it's the permanent ceasefire for now.

well, exactly. let's see if this actually lasts. and we'll see. there's a lot of arguments onune there's a lot of arguments online whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. and everybody's claiming victory and whatever. i just want those hostages home. of course, the daily telegraph has a photo of some of israelis who are happy about this, but their main story is pressure builds on starmer in adams row. and this is about gerry adams, who lewis schaffer yesterday called fat repeatedly. yeah, i saw that. interesting choice. i don't want to take away from your adams comment, but i also la fire visit shows sussexes are out of touch. i love the fact that there's a disaster. people are suffering. they'll be there. i think the thing is that there's an ability within the british press to tie everything to the sussexes and israel, and i think it's quite amazing. it's a gift. >> it's yeah, it's amazing to me as well that adams, gerry adams is one of the people that, like starmer, he's alienated almost everyone, like farmers, old people. who does he like? gerry adams? >> it's like he couldn't chagos he wants to get. he just wants to give all of our money chagos

take it away from the pensioners. give it all to chagos and gerry adams. give him the chagos islands. yeah. the times has ceasefire joy on both sides. the times they're representing themselves. as you know, like the arbiters of. we're the middle guys. look, we've got a photo of the happy palestinians and we've got a picture of the happy israelis, and they've got the same focus and they've got the same focus and everybody's joy and peace to the world and whatnot. also surge in mobile phone robberies, driving, soaring knife crime, which we covered initially. and i don't want to repeat it because steve was very, very racist, very racist dummy in daily mail. the shame and horror of nhs corridor care. this is, of nhs corridor care. this is, of course, the never ending decline of our once wonderful nhs system. was it ever wonderful? it seemed. i seem to remember the halcyon days of the 90s. it seemed like oh 90s 50s when it was launched in like it was when it was launched. people had the decency to die about a year after they retired. whereas now with your so—called medicines, people live longer.

and i think that's the problem. >> steve was at the launch. he's like an elf in lord of the fings like an elf in lord of the rings. he's been here many, many generations. >> i didn't mention this before, but there's a photo there of emily de—man. she is the british israeli hostage who has been held for 15 months, and with the with the announcement that the first 33 of the hostages release are the women and children and their two babies who are being held. obviously prayers are out there that she is still alive and she will be coming home. so the mirror chaos in hostel corridors. and also we have a picture of linda nolan there, a picture of linda nolan there, a picture of linda nolan there, a picture of her looking when she was younger and then her a little bit older. i saw the nolans, by the way, because being a northerner, all of our holidays are in skegness and i went to see, like ken dodd and duncan norvelle and all of the musical acts were always the nolans because sheena easton was too busy. so you have just proved your working class credentials there. nick tries to give it like i'm from the north and all that, but you have just topped him. well done mate. metro a double injustice. this is innocent, andy makinson, who

was held in jail for 17 years for a crime he did not commit and he is not got the money yet, even though it has been a while since he has been out of jail. and the judge or the appeals chief is saying that they're holding her as a scapegoat for why she hasn't managed to get the money to him. supposedly. there's also a picture of matthew horne, who's looking a bit sort of like, oh, are you going to call him fat? are you doing a show? no, no, no not fat. he's sort of i know he's trying to, like, look like a dream boy or something. >> it's life after gavin and stacey. and can i just say, i've watched that and i know who he is. >> well. and now you're topping the working class. >> no lies, no idea. sorry. >> no lies, no idea. sorry. >> and then finally, we have the daily star, which is solved, which is all about cadbury's creme eggs and how the best way to eat it. of course, the problem is that you actually would have to buy the daily star and we have the sun as well. let's put on the sun. let's see what the sun is saying. it's saying rapper on bbc is jimmy's killer. i wish that the producer hadnt killer. i wish that the producer hadn't told me to read out that

particular newspaper, because it's a slightly grim story to get back into the yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. keep it light. yeah, yeah, guys. come on. this is meant to be a comedy show. you sabotaging me there in the booth, right? so we're going to go into the mirror, and they have a very interesting story about gary lineker, where he's been replaced, and someone's going to talk instead about try scrums and conversions. >> yes. he really nailed it there. josh, it's bbc revealed gary lineker's match of the day replacements, including sky sports presenter koo. what are they going to do? we already knew this. i don't know why this is. news is split it between kelly cates, mark chapman and gabby logan, so obviously that won't work. splitting hosts like that never works on any show. the system. >> you're right. they just have one host, just one host, one host to do the majority of it. who tweets about it. i could do either one host who tweets about political things all the time. surely that can't work, can it? >> just an idea. anyway, they're going to split it and it's very sort of, you know, wishy washy diplomatic sort of, oh, we'll have we'll have a couple of women and a man. you know, it's

because originally mark chapman was saying he was just going to get it. >> i think that's the part of the story, which is that he's come out to sort of say, no, no, i'm cool with it. before he was like, it should be one host. but he's like, well, if i get a job now that i have no choice, i'm cool with it. >> yeah, yeah, but what now? people will be surprised at me. these are great. these are good presenters, kelly cates very good. i've watched her a lot. she's funny as well. on this other show, you were saying how fit she is? i wasn't, but she's very good as a presenter. the only obvious thing is you shouldn't have female pundits or commentators on the men's game. that's obvious. but the presenter is a sort of neutral. >> so you think she should be doing what sort of gladiators? i think the presenter. >> no, no, the presenters are fine. it's when there's when you've got female commentators and pundits on a game they've never played. but the presenting role is fairly sort of neutral. and, you know, if you're good at the presenting role, i see no problem with that. it's when you're commenting on the game and we haven't played it that's those aren't my views. they're joey barton's. >> i just i just wanted to know, what do you think of this? so two women for one guy. yeah. seems nice. that's what it takes nowadays to get a man on on the

bbc. two women, two men and one woman. that's the devil's. >> get people watching more if they have more of that. the. >> yeah. i mean, you think how are they going to afford three people? wait a minute. it's gary lineker's money they're saving. so they've got some spare in the in the kitty after this. i do think it's great that mark mark chapman was saying i don't want to share the gig. you know, there was a meeting there that would have been like straight white man. dude, come on mate, we live in it. it's a bbc, it's the bbc, right? steve? the metro has someone disrespecting the pride flag. did they walk on it? the i suppose, yes. painted on the floor. pride flags outside tube station permanently removed. removed because of vandalism, says the metro. a london council has been forced to remove their pride flags. i'd say you just said you said remove like you were about to say it in a sort of stereotypically. homosexual way. you were like, remove. is that a stereo? well, you're thinking of scottish. is that what it is? they wear kilts? i'm not sure. i thought you were doing your accent thing. i didn't know whether to jump in. that's okay. do you think gay people sound? because it was. it was vandalised four separate times. this is the bit that got me. i thought this would be a story of decades of vandalism for this one. oh, no. it's been

vandalised. two. oh, it's gone again. three. well, this is annoying. four. it's a non gay road. now that's all it takes for them to have changed their minds. there's a debate about do you need rainbows painted on the floor? surely you should presume that any tube station on the elizabeth line is a non—hateful space. like if you don't have a flag of any sort painted there, we presume inclusivity. that would be the way of doing it. but if you if you make it more generic, the idea that if vandals vandalise something four times, people just give in. if this were a different flag, if this were a different flag, if this were a different flag, if this were the union jack or the saint george's cross, would we be more upset than if this was a religious symbol? well, what other flag example is there in what? what other flag has been used in any other way? in this way? well, there are probably some. there are probably some ukrainian ones painted somewhere or i don't think, well, what a cross for crossing our outside tubes or zebra crossings. i don't think they should be there in general because there's someone who said this. rob, from the from the local pride said it's really tragic. it feels like we're being attacked every time we walk to the co—op because they see them vandalised. well, if we didn't have them, we wouldn't have given away for someone to vandalise it and make you feel

threatened. we've made it more homophobic by putting those. well, but the interesting thing you say homophobia. but, nick, i think it might suggest that it's actually more about someone said, save the children, save our children. i think it might be more. they're referring to gender ideology. >> yeah. i mean, someone says here before this area didn't feel homophobic. chances are it's not like most of britain now. chances are it's this particular ideology represented by the flag, which many gay people don't like. and it's this oppressive, malevolent ideology people are sick of. now, i'm not condoning crime, but i'm just noting that people are sick of it, and this is one sign of that. but it is ending. it's ending in america with trump. jimmy is obviously against wokester. reform are against it. so this labour government might be the last. >> well, this is not the traditional pride flag, is it? this is the extended flag with all the other directors cut edition. and while they've got rid of the one on the floor, they've now put them on the posts of the lampposts so that dogs can do hate crimes. that's worse, isn't it? that's terrible. disgusting. what do we have next? the telegraph and the pot calling the kettle black. >> yeah, it's humza yousaf accuses david lammy of racism. it's some sort of inception

level endgame of leftists. i can't even understand this. but when it comes down to it, something quite bizarre. it's. humza yousaf says it's about him getting on too well with netanyahu and with israel, and says i wouldn't expect david lammy to be posing, smiling with the russian foreign minister or putin. and he ends up saying that european lives are worth more than arab lives, simply do not matter to the same extent as european lives. so i don't know if he just doesn't want to say jewish or if he means the hostages. >> i think he might just be incredibly thick. that's part of it. and also the fact that he sort of the way that he tries to equate israel as russia here, russia invaded ukraine. israel was the country that was invaded by hamas. that's the difference. and humza has got it wrong because david lammy can't be racist, because we all know racism can only be done by white people. i think that's the definition that is used these days. so you've got to if that's the definition you want, that's the definition you want, that's the one you're going to have to stick to. >> yeah, it's you're just saying

it wouldn't happen with russia and ukraine, but it would happen with israel and palestine. is that his point? >> well, no, i think he's i think he's saying russia. you're saying david lammy was met a jew and was nice to him. so thus that i think that's the gist of what the europeans still get blamed somehow. >> how did we get blamed somehow? like we're the like the least racist, aren't we? >> anyway? yeah. some of the people who work here. >> but well, at least try not to be racist. no one else has even ever tried it. >> it's the ironic thing is, of course, that that he is not. david lammy is arguably not seen as a friend to israel in that the foreign office. they have stopped arms licenses to israel, the arrest warrant as well, the arrest warrant that went out. and, you know, they've tried to play and, you know, they've tried to play both sides on this, by the way, just so no one shouts at the tv, isn't humza yousaf the guy that went through a whole list of people going white and was like furious that white people existed, now using a gay accent. >> now he's talking about racism, bro. >> and he's still the first minister and he's talking like this. >> i have a pointless party anyway. >> still to come, liberal

hollywood finally finds something deserving of cancellation. and do you want a buying? sorry, i see that's what i said. this one. do you want to buy a cheap portable toilet? no. what's that about? come back to find out how that works. mike. >> you're looking happy. >> you're looking happy. >> well, the forecast looks good. >> so you've sorted the travel insurance, then? >> allclear travel insurance sponsors, gb news travel destinations forecast. >> storm felix is set to affect central parts of the mediterranean, bringing some rain, mountain snow and also strong winds. but further west largely settled for the canary islands, madeira, portugal and also most of spain. but towards the eastern coast we could see some heavy showers here, the heaviest likely across sicily and parts of sardinia, and also likely to see some mountain snow across the highest parts of italy and also greece. towards the weekend, though largely settled and temperatures remaining around the same

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>> welcome back to headliners. steve. i've seen you in these swimming costumes. why is the guardian calling them offensive? i know, i don't know, i think i did it rather well. it's about g—strings, which don't break wind. otherwise it's like when you hold a blade of grass between your thumbs. greater sydney council bans revealing swimwear, sparking debate about double standards. it's banning g string bikinis at its public pools, and they say it's sparking a debate about gender issues. it's also banned for men to wear g string bikinis there. i'm not sure how that would work. it would be like watching a fat man fall out of a hammock, but i don't think it would hold it in. but to clarify, they put the rules up. thongs and g string swimwear is not acceptable for males or females. bikinis are acceptable, but bikinis with g string bottoms aren't. so for this you really need to understand what a g string is. i googled the definition and i didn't really

do any more prep after that, so that's where i ended at the end of that story. do you understand how they're being sexist about this? how it's sparking a debate? well double standards. >> that's the thing. and they say they're policing women's bodies. we obviously need some rules. right. because otherwise you end up with, say, a woman sleeping with a thousand men in a day on onlyfans. that'll never happen. yeah. who knows? just a crazy example i came up with. >> but where were you yesterday? where were 1058? >> we had a connection, to quote that tweet. look, there's this constant battle with feminism and sort of wokeness as a puritanical strain of it. then there's a sort of liberation strain. it's like which one should triumph and no one seems to know. i think the ideal is probably that you should be allowed to wear it, but you don't. >> i think i believe in the argument of if you don't like it, look away. i believe in that. i mean, i do like it. i don't look away. i wear mirrored sunglasses. but i agree with the premise. what do you think about, like, the whole having to wear a swimming pool, even if you've got a shaved head, that you've got a shaved head, that you still have to wear a swimming hat. that is ridiculous. >> that is silly. >> that is silly. >> yeah, that would be personal

experience. i'm just saying that would be my rule. but for the bottoms as well. oh i see. nick, the express has those siesta munchers daring to be racist against the brits. >> yeah, yeah. >> yeah, yeah. >> anyway, spain's peta accused of xenophobia against brits. >> what? i know, after holiday home tax. so the idea is that we're going to get taxed a hefty tax bill if we buy a property in spain because we're outside the old eu. don't know if you heard this is the coming from their socialist. it says sanchez's socialist. it says sanchez's socialist government because it's expressed. it gets that in there. and other people are saying no, it's about the lack of housing. so anyway, my view is i'm against xenophobia. unless we're also allowed to do it.then unless we're also allowed to do it. then i'm like, come on lads, do you think do you agree with this? >> this is actually one of his opposition figures claiming it's xenophobic. do you think this is xenophobia or just born of economics? the issue is about not enough houses and they're xenophobic. it's not either or. they're not mutually exclusive because they're definitely xenophobic. they hate tourists. we're seeing a pushback because of i mean, somehow it represents 12.6% of their economy, but they hate tourists bringing all that money. and it was it was last

yeah money. and it was it was last year. they were spray painting things like tourists go home, which they do. that's the definition of a tourist. at the end of the day, you go home. what more do they want? so i think they are xenophobic against british xenophobia in cumbria. >> we hate tourists even though we rely on them. but they're off comers. we don't trust them. do you get tourists? that's not xenophobia because we hate engush xenophobia because we hate english tourists, okay? >> it's a wider hate. who's visiting? what are they visiting in cumbria? >> are you serious? the lakes, one of the great. one of the great spots in the world. >> what's all this shouting? we'll have no trouble here with wordsworth. okay, we're going to jump wordsworth. okay, we're going to jump into thursday's sun, where fire safety officers don't want all the plastic in hollywood to melt. yeah. oscars 2025 on the verge of being cancelled as bosses secretly plot major changes because of the wildfires. and fair enough. i take the point. you don't want to see all of these millionaires patting themselves on their back while people are dead or homeless because of the fires. i also don't want to see millionaires patting themselves on the back anyway, but my favourite thing of this story is even if it goes ahead, they're not doing the gift bags. the gift bags, normally worth £140,000 and in their included beauty treatments, you think it's going to be a lot of aloe

vera and a barbecue grill? oh, actually too soon. >> i only went for the gift bag. that's it. but the thing is, if they get rid of the oscars, will anyone notice? they'll be like covid when they got rid of schools and offices. turns out we don't even need them. you know what i mean? >> very quickly, nick. brad pitt here trying to deny that we can all see with our own eyes, right? yeah. >> i mean, brad pitt is not messaging fans for money. his spokesman says that the woman was duped into handing over 700,000 to fund his cancer treatment. there's a 53 year old divorcee with some very dubious photos. was conned into it. i would like to mock this, but it's just so sad. i felt so bad for her that she fell for these awful i. >> i thought they were real. they looked pretty good to me. i can mock it. if you think the real brad pitt is chatting you up online and wants your money, you kind of deserve to be scammed a bit. >> you know, be realistic because i'm a tv star. >> but yes, if you're not, if you message me saying that you want money, i would believe you. thank you. do you have do you feel sorry for her at all? i honestly don't, because how can you fall for this? steve? wow. you are. you are heart man of science. exactly. there are no emotions in here. i'm shocked.

okay, well, the show is nearly oven okay, well, the show is nearly over. let's take another very quick look at thursday's front pages. the guardian hope of end to dark chapter with israel—hamas ceasefire. that's the big news of the day. daily telegraph pressure builds on starmer and adams row. that is gerry adams getting some dosh, possibly from the uk government. ceasefire joy on both sides. again that is the ceasefire in israel between israel and hamas. the daily mail. the shame and horror of nhs corridor care, the mirror chaos in hospital corridors, metro double injustice and the daily star solved how to eat easter eggs. so that is all we have time for today. thank you so much for joining us. thank you to steve and nick. nick and i will be back tomorrow with kerry marx. lebanon pm 5 am. if you're watching this, stay tuned for breakfast. thank you. >> there will be a light breeze in the morning leading to a warm front. boxt heat pumps sponsors

of weather on gb news. >> hello there. good evening. welcome to your gb news weather update from the met office. we could see some rather foggy starts as we head into tomorrow. then through the day we'll see a mix of cloud and some brighter spells. though it is going to be a cooler feeling day for most. largely settled as we head into tonight as high pressure dominates. but a frontal system in the far north can bring some drizzle at times. it's mainly across the far northwest of scotland, mostly dry for many of us. plenty of cloud this evening across the south and southeast. this could be quite murky by the morning, likely to see some fog in places, even some fog developing under some clearer skies, and also plenty of cloud across scotland and northern ireland. feeling chillier too, also under these cloudier skies. but for many it's quite a mild night on offer, particularly across the far northwest of scotland. so to start the day tomorrow, plenty of cloud around across scotland but feeling chillier in any clearer spells. also a chance we could still see some light outbreaks of drizzle across the very far north. quite across the very far north. quite a cloudy start across northern ireland, and a few more clearer spells across northern ireland.

northern parts of wales too, but chillier here, could even see some pockets of frost and also some pockets of frost and also some fog and plenty of cloud across southern and central areas of england. quite murky. starts in this fog, slow to clear in places, so do take care if you're travelling around through the morning, then through the morning, then through much of the day. it remains fairly similar. should start to see some sunshine across wales and northern england, but that cloud is set to stay across the south and southeast and turning quite blustery across the far north of scotland through the day to a cooler day on offer for most but for many across scotland. temperatures above average for the time of year heading into tomorrow, likely to see more outbreaks of rain and drizzle across parts of scotland. quite blustery here too, and elsewhere, plenty of cloud around there is going to be staying largely dry. both best of the sunshine just to the northeast of any high ground. but for most it's going to be quite a cloudy day on offer and remaining fairly cloudy as we head into the weekend too. and that means temperatures are really going to struggle, so likely feeling chilly at times

by we can expect clear skies leading to a light and warm day >> boxt solar

>> it's 9 pm. on patrick christys tonight. is keir starmer about to make us pay

compensation to gerry adams? >> well, i'm afraid i. i can't. i'm afraid i. i can't. >> well, i'm afraid i. i can't. >> i mean that's a yes isn't it. >> i mean that's a yes isn't it. could it have anything to do could it have anything to do with the fact that the man who with the fact that the man who he appointed as attorney general he appointed as attorney general used to represent gerry adams a used to represent gerry adams a little bit like how his mates little bit like how his mates with the lawyer representing with the lawyer representing mauritius over the chagos mauritius over the chagos islands also tonight. a islands also tonight. a ceasefire has been reached ceasefire has been reached between israel and hamas. but between israel and hamas. but will it last? will it last? >> politicians who sat in >> politicians who sat in government for many years government for many years calling for inquiries because calling for inquiries because they want to jump on a bandwagon they want to jump on a bandwagon of the far right ? of the far right ? of the far right? >> at 10 pm, i have a bombshell of the far right? >> at 10 pm, i have a bombshell exclusive poll that shows how exclusive poll that shows how out of touch keir starmer is on out of touch keir starmer is on grooming gangs, and i'll reveal grooming gangs, and i'll reveal who britain's most popular who britain's most popular

politician is. can you guess? in politician is. can you guess? in