allen and nick comedian steve allen and nick dixon taking you through thursday's top stories. look at those guys. they're raring to go. this is headliners. but before tomorrow's news, let's go to tonight's headlines with sam francis. >> the top story tonight at 11:00 after 15 months of war, israel and hamas have agreed to a ceasefire and hostage release deal a ceasefire and hostage release deal. earlier tonight, us president joe biden confirmed that plan . that plan. >> at long last, i can announce a ceasefire and a hostage deal has been reached between israel and hamas for more than 15 months of conflict that began with hezbollah's brutal massacre on october the 7th. more than 15

months of terror for the hostages, their families, the israeli people, more than 15 months of suffering by the innocent people of gaza fighting innocent people of gaza fighting in gaza will stop. and soon the hostages will return home to their families. >> well, the deal, expected to start on sunday, involves releasing 33 israeli hostages in exchange for palestinian prisoners, along with a surge of humanitarian aid into gaza. negotiations for the next second phase, full troop withdrawal, more hostage releases and lasting peace are then set to begin. two weeks into the truce. in other news, the uk government is reviving a controversial free speech law for universities just months after it was paused over concerns about protecting hate speech. the higher education freedom of speech act, passed in 2023, gave universities a duty to promote free speech and allowed the regulator to fine

institutions or student unions that failed to comply. critics, including the education secretary, though, paused that law last summer, warning it could expose universities to costly legal action. now, a government source says the act will be adjusted to balance academic freedom with a proper complaints process. and police are investigating after a woman reported her drink was spiked in a bar at the houses of parliament. the parliamentary researcher made the complaint to staff and security on the 7th of january, just days after mps returned from their christmas break. the met police says they are supporting the victim and have confirmed an investigation is now underway, though no arrests have been made so far. home secretary yvette cooper has condemned the act, calling it disturbing and serious. that's the news on gb news. plenty more still to come. now, though, it's time for headliners for the very latest gb news direct to your smartphone, sign up to news

alerts by scanning the qr code or go to gbnews.com/alerts. >> hello and welcome to headliners, your first look at tomorrow's top stories with three comedians. i'm one of them. there's two over there. before we dive in, we're going to have a quick look at what steve and nick will have to work with on thursday's front pages. we're going to do it together. it's exciting. when you start off with the guardian hope of end to dark chapter with israel—hamas ceasefire. this is obviously the big news of the day. ceasefire. after 15 months of war, not a genocide of war. and i notice you guys aren't chipping in because they look. no, they look happy. i'll give you that. they do. the woman in the middle does not look happy. i looked at the face. the hands are happy. >> the face is less happy. >> the face is less happy. >> i do think this is a better response than there were pictures that came out when there was 11 and ceasefire, and they celebrated by shooting guns

in the air. that's not the way to celebrate a ceasefire. so we've got the daily telegraph. they have pressure builds on starmer and adams. this is, of course, about gerry adams and supposedly getting a payout with this new deal troubles legislation going through. and they've got a picture. so i'm amazed they're giving gerry adams money. when i grew up he was like a figure of terror. in your childhood, it's like giving. freddy krueger couldn't even get voice over work. next one the times. ceasefire. joy on both sides. so they're being slightly more centrist. and the guardian has one photo. and then the telegraph has another. but then times have got both of them. and then we have the daily mail. the shame and horror of nhs corridor corridor care. this is, of course, our failing nhs service with the royal college of nursing laying out a big 460 page report to say that guess what.7 underinvestment. this will be the impact of it. yeah, we worry about assisted dying being the thing unassisted. dying seems to be what's happening. it's terrible. indeed. the

mirror. chaos in hospital corridors. the same story with a picture of a hospital corridor. and linda nolan has died. and a nice photo of her at the top. metro a double injustice. this is the andy moxon who was 17 years in jail for a crime that he did not commit. and he still has not got any money and that seems very unfair. finally, we have the daily star solved and how to eat a cadbury's creme egg. that is the story that i am desperate to get to, but we have lots and lots of news. before we get to that particular point. let's start then. steve with the guardian, please. yep. hope of end to dark chapter with israel—hamas. ceasefire and hope is the key word in this because this is either i mean, it's on the front pages of all the papers. this is either the biggest story around or not, depending on what happens in the future, because it's three phase and there's negotiations to still be happening on these phases. let's hope. hope key

word that this actually works. the timing of it is all about trump and biden. i think the pressure that it's actually interesting that both want to get it done. biden wants to get it done during his watch. trump wants to get it over and done with before his watch. and that's added that additional pressure that that's put the ducksin pressure that that's put the ducks in the row that a ceasefire might happen. let's hope it's a permanent one. let's hope it's a permanent one. let's hopeit hope it's a permanent one. let's hope it brings about the solutions. but i don't know man. it's all about the hope. a few very tense days. i love how the guardian here they do mention the hostages in one little line. they say the 33 israeli hostages in exchange for jailed palestinians, which actually means terrorist palestinians. but the rest of the front page, no mention of the actual hostages and just a picture and a joy hostages and just a picture and a joy exhausted palestinians hardly dare to believe. well, what about the exhausted israelis, nick? yes, there's that, but it is the guardian, remember? >> but biden claims it's interesting what steve said about trump. >> trump is claiming credit, but so is biden. >> biden claimed last spring he he did. >> this basically must have been his one good day when he was lucid, he didn't think gaza was a 90s footballer. >> he just he just created peace on that one day. >> since then, he just disappeared. he hasn't even. no

one's even seen biden since kamala arrived. >> but he popped up and said, this was me, guys. but if you brought about peace in the middle east, you'd probably take a while off as well. you'd be like, i think i've done that, sit down. but are you sure that he just woke up and he doesn't think it still is me? because he did look a bit shaky in that interview. what i quite liked were the people standing behind him had blinken, not blinken. and then you had kamala just just angry. just angry, just fuming. why is trump talking to obama just furious? the daily telegraph has a similar story as its main story. well, picture of relieved israelis getting hostages home. but whilst they got on daily telegraph, well, this big thing is pressure builds on starmer in adams row. as i was saying, it's amazing to me that we would give gerry adams money. >> he's like a i'm not like i try and stay out of the irish thing. >> that's kind of my rule generally. but he was someone he was like a figure of fear for us in my childhood, and now we're giving him taxpayers money. >> or we may be, because starmer may be repealing these troubles legislations. and i'm troubled by it, and i'm afraid i am troubled by it.

>> and it's all to do with the attorney general, lord turner. and it's all complicated. >> he represented him. i mean, the whole thing is complicated. >> it's the news guys. but he represented him in certain cases and was it okay? and he's defended it in all this. the bottom line is it's all completely insane. but this is this is the labour government. starmer has said that he's not he's going to do what he can to try and block gerry. gerry adams doesn't get any money. yes, it would actually during that should have said why it should be blocked as well. you know go down this a bit harder than rather than you know we'll try and do it with one. i worry this is going to be like the new ppi. do you remember that weird penod do you remember that weird period where you kept getting the calls like, oh, did you take out a loan? you're going to get the calls going? like, were you a member of the ira? and if so, press five or something and then who knows what happens. very good. yes. what's the times going with then? ceasefire joy on both sides. they've got the balance you're after. look you say pictures. the same size pictures as well to make sure they're fair. and if you stare down the middle and defocus like one of those stereoscopic ones, magic eye pictures, you can't really work out anything. so i mean, we've covered that story.

isuppose mean, we've covered that story. i suppose their, their coverage of it is a little bit more balanced, but you want the balance. you've had your guardian and the telegraph will say online, there's been lots of footage of palestinians shooting gunsin footage of palestinians shooting guns in the street and sort of going, this is a big victory. but supposedly there was a genocide. and then suddenly all these people have appeared and well—fed with their mobile phones, all taking photos and films balance. i like i like the palestinians, but i was trying to give the balance. but what bothers me is that's why i've put you over there, nick. thank you. yeah. it's better. it's obviously it's good. >> it's. >> it's. >> people can't get too excited because it's probably temporary. we don't know. >> but what bothers me is if it really was just trump's threat, you know, trump says bring back the hostages or all hell will break loose. you think like, why couldn't it have been done earlier? >> like if just trump threatening is all we need, we just need more trump threats. it's just so frustrating that what was biden doing for four years? if it was, if it really was that, well, it's been 15 months and obviously trying to play months and obviously trying to play both sides. there's a really interesting story here at the bottom, though, if you don't mind getting into it, because it's actually got some facts, which is unusual. you like facts? yeah. surge in mobile phone robberies, driving saw soaring knife crime. so i guess if we weren't all on our phones all the time with phones worth

nicking, there wouldn't be as much knife crime victim blaming. that's. well, effectively it is victim blame. the signs that say when you leave a tube station, don't hold your phone. it's victim blaming, isn't it? it's like i want to look like i've got friends. it's like saying, don't dress like that. that's nearly as well. go on the tube, get on a train and leave london and just be just go somewhere safe. but they sort of take a bit of. they take a bit of a detour in this article starts talking about white people and black people. come on, tell us all about it, steve. come on steve. mr statistics, i've got to get in enough trouble. the which of the stats that you want to break down. i want you to specifically talk about black people. steve. black people accounted for 49% of the people fatally stabbed. that's less than half. there you go. that's how you spin the stats. but they represent 13.5% say that. that's that's what. but yeah, that's part of it. >> i was shocked by the headline surge in mobile phone robberies, driving soaring knife crimes like, hang on, the crime is driving another car. >> it's like a number of kittens killed driving number of puppies killed. >> like, how can one unless

they're knifing the people that are taking their phones? >> but of course, it turns out it's because they're just they are just bringing a knife and saying, give me your phone. i've had my phone robbed. you can't get a phone out anywhere in london. well, they always say that you're more likely to be stabbed by your own knife, which is why i'd recommend carrying one of those prop ones where the blade just goes into the hill. they say that? yeah. do you have. because someone's going to, like, grab it off you? that's what they said when we were kids. they said, don't carry a knife because then someone could grab it off you and stab you. not that it was bad to carry it. that was more london was how it is. the new rule is those were the old knife rules. bazooka carry heavy weapons. what's the daily mail then? got nick. oh, well, they've got the shame and horror of nhs corridor care, so we've got a lot of good news coming. this is. this is just so dystopian, so modern, you know, uk modern nhs so dead patients are lying uncovered for hours in a&e because nhs staff are too overstretched to notice. you'd think you'd notice. >> yeah. i mean how i this is it seems like a made up headline. >> it's so insane. >> so this is the nhs and we always talk about nhs reform. we've got to do something.

>> well give them more money. is that the answer? well no, it's not the answer. just an endless black hole to use one of keir starmers favourite phrases, we've got to actually, there was a debate about this on michelle's show between rupert lowe and the labour bloke. it's all about do you just give them more money or do you just or do we need to just reform the whole thing? of course we've got michelle's show. the only other show that you watch on the channel. it's a good show. >> nigel's got a good show now. >> nigel's got a good show now. >> i haven't watched this one, but i'm always looking forward. you always specifically mentioned michelle's show. i'm just whatever. yeah, i mean, you watch our show. no, i haven't seen it, but i'm looking forward to seeing this one. i listen on dab when i'm on my way back from gigs, so if anything, i don't know what people look like. i turned up, i didn't realise you'd lost your hair. yeah. you joined the crew. the is the solution to turn the corridors into rooms, i suppose. but then how do you get from one room to another one? yeah, i hadn't thought if you don't have any corridors. yeah. no, no. so there's also an article there. top. i'm 55 and have adhd. no, you don't iicsa. this show is about adhd. like we've gone through so fast. i feel like i've just. we've got so much news, nick. so much news. what?

what actually the mirror. let's go straight to the star then. because i really want to find out about this one. this is the. this is the one that i'm. this is the big story for me of the day. this is the solved . after day. this is the solved. after years and years of soul searching and fevered debate, 100% legit boffins today can reveal the perfect way to eat a cadbury creme egg. i don't even need to read it. i already know it. it's straight in all in one in the car after a gig crying. okay, that was a good gig, was it? oh, that's the usual. what about you do you don't do you do cadbury's creme eggs? no, not you don't seem like a cadbury creme kind of guy. obviously a lot of chocolate, which won't surprise any viewer, but cadbury creme egg isn't that too sweet? even for me, i feel like i've met my match. that's it. but it's like it's all condensed into one ball. you couldn't eat more than one, though, could you? two at once pretend you're the godfather two at once. steve by the five pack used to be a six pack. now i know why you needed to get on the ozempic. because two you're having. there is no way i won't gain my weight. hamster with i can, i can fast up to christmas, but between christmas and easter i will get fat again. i love the

cream. it'sjust will get fat again. i love the cream. it's just the front page. and they are. they're enticing. they want you to spend £1.10, as louis schaefer would say, to buy the newspaper to find out what the newspaper to find out what the most perfect way. because it doesn't. you think it's i. i wouldn't even take the foil off if i didn't have fillings. no, no, it's all about. that's so funny that £1.10, as louis schaefer would say, that's his catchphrase. yeah. the price of a newspaper. what a legacy. all right, well, that's all the front pages done picked apart, but plenty more to come. what do you need to but plent