elections. he jailed opponents for online speech. he ignores the key concerns of voters. he drags a hesitant army into a futile war. he accesses the private data of your citizens and actually cosies up to the chinese. i mean, he must be right on that front with all of those accolades. oh, hang on a minute. my producer's just telling me, actually, they they are all starmer's accolades. good lord. who's the dictator then? and of course, britain's most glamorous gp returns to the show tonight to, unlike a rumoured boris johnson revival, it's a return. i welcome my friends. what boris lacks in spine strength and sabre like wit. doctor renee has by the bucket. they say, my friends, that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. so i haven't touched the stuff in months. and making his debut on the show is luca watson. now what luca lacks in years on this earth, he makes

up in acerbic wit and feisty. you should see his twitter account. it's enough to make elon musk blush. and of course, waleses wokeist worrier kai wilshaw is here. he needs the money, he says. he says rachel reeves has a black hole to fill, which he's happy to do for her, and he has a new pronoun badge to buy when he's out on soho now. telly time addict alex armstrong is, of course, away. as you've probably guessed by now, he has issued a statement that we've got exclusively for you tonight. he says he's busy scheming how to make the saturday five, the saturday one, to which i have this to say. it really would be the saturday one with him at the helm, one viewer each week. but alex's schemes aren't the only sticky wicket we're facing tonight. our poll opens at 6 pm. and closes at 8:30 pm, with a special reveal at 845. you can vote yourself head to gbnews.com/poll to vote for your favourite of the five

now, my friends, unlike starmer's back door into your iphone, there will be no covert skulduggery here. as ever, each panellist will get to make their arguments and then it's game on. expect things to escalate faster than inflation after a labour budget. and we want to hear from you. drop us a line at gbnews.com/win or. and don't forget gbnews.com/poll is the link you need for your favourite five. we'll bring you that result at 830. no pressure. renee is bricking it. but before this descends into total chaos or starmer locks one of us up, it's or starmer locks one of us up, wsfime or starmer locks one of us up, it's time for your saturday night news with tatiana sanchez. >> darren, thank you and good evening. the top stories the prime minister has told president zelenskyy he would discuss safeguarding kyivs sovereignty with us president donald trump, as he reiterated the uk's ironclad support in a call this morning. and sir keir

starmer and the european commission president, ursula von der leyen, have also agreed europe must step up for the good of the collective european security in a call today. this comes as starmer is expected to confirm a timeline to raise defence spending as he prepares to travel to washington to meet donald trump next week. the prime minister will have to walk a tricky line stateside, balancing the uk's support for ukraine with the need to keep the us on side that, as president trump has accused emmanuel macron and sir keir of doing nothing to end the war. meanwhile, he also said volodymyr zelenskyy and vladimir putin need to get together and thinks a peace deal can be done. meanwhile, hundreds of people have been gathering in support of ukraine as they marched to the russian embassy in central london. the marchers earlier assembled at a statue of saint vladimir, a national saint of ukraine, near holland park. protesters were seen carrying placards including stand with ukraine up to putin and trump

and don't betray ukraine. elsewhere, the three hostages released by terror group hamas this morning have now entered into israel, with the israeli military reporting. the sixth hostage has also been handed over and received by the military. those returned are the last living hostages, from a group of 33 being freed in the first stage of the ceasefire deal that took effect on the 19th of january. israeli hostages tell shoham and avera mengistu were handed over to the red cross early this morning. in other news, a three year old girl has died after being hit following a tram crash in manchester. police are currently in attendance on mosley street following the collision between a metrolink tram and a white mercedes—benz van. greater manchester police said the girl was taken to hospital after the crash, but she died from her injuries. no arrests have been made and police are appealing for witnesses. and three people have been arrested in connection with the disappearance of a man who went missing more than 20

years ago. robert scott khalife, known as scott, was last seen on the 10th of october in 2002 known as scott, was last seen on the 10th of october in 2002 following a night out in north following a night out in north shields, north tyneside, where shields, north tyneside, where he'd moved to from scotland a he'd moved to from scotland a few months earlier. a murder few months earlier. a murder investigation was launched investigation was launched despite no body being found. despite no body being found. northumbria police said it's now northumbria police said it's now arrested two men in their 40s arrested two men in their 40s and 50, and a woman in her 40s and 50, and a woman in her 40s on suspicion of murder. and on suspicion of murder. and those are the latest gb news those are the latest gb news headunes those are the latest gb news headlines for now. more news headunes those are the latest gb news headlines for now. more news from me in an hour. for the very from me in an hour. for the very latest gb news direct to your latest gb news up to news smartphone, sign up to news alerts by scanning the qr code, smartphone, sign up to news alerts by scanning the qr or go to gbnews.com/yoursay. smartphone, sign up to news alertstor scanning the qr smartphone, sign up to news alertsto gbnews.com/yoursay. >> james matthewson james or go to gbnews.com/yoursay. >> james matthewson james matthewson. matthewson. >> cheers very much. tatiana. my >> cheers very much. tatiana. my friends, it's saturday night and friends, it's saturday night and you're with the saturday five. you're with the saturday five. i'm darren grimes, and i can i'm darren grimes, and i can promise that you're in for a you're in for very lively show. we're going to promise that you're in for a very lively show. we're going to

crack on with tonight's first debate. and like alex armstrong, i'm going to abuse my position in the middle chair. now, i want to kick you off by telling you about my second job. i'm in my second week as the agony aunt. that's my official photograph there from my role. i'm dishing out strasbourg wisdom for britain's finest. i couldn't beat him, so i decided to join him for the croissants and the cash. here is this week's legal lunacy. my first one. dear darren, i'm a zimbabwean lass. lied for 20 years, may have faked an anti—government blog to stay, can i? and i replied, you cheeky genius. judges say zimbabwe won't buy your sob story, but stay none the less. taxpayers will absolutely love that kind of creative genius. we could do with more of it. my

next one. dear

[y w y sly little, i132 {tee-£5 a’ezn you sly little fox, you're a ban in britain now. we'll have a council funded xbox to your bedroom. no questions asked. and my next one. dear darren, i'm a rakib mum won't give me my id to prove my age. so you can't deport me. can i stay? well, of course you can, you silly little blighter. article three says no papers, no plane. you ain't going anywhere. stay. mum's the word. quite literally. dear darren, i'm syrian, i've got ptsd and i groped a girl. but jail might trigger me. can i stay here and free? and i say you are a crafty little man, hassan. ptsd trumps the assault of women in britain, so of course you can stay. women simply have to lock their doors a little tighter here in britain. silly girls. dear

darren, this is my last one where kurdish parents are kids. dinghy to dover. where in calais? can we join them? oh, what a genius plan. how cheeky. article eight. you pass. come on in. the home office can't stop you. what a clever scheme. i say thatis you. what a clever scheme. i say that is using your own kids as a passport pawn. forget the dangerous journey in the english channel. makes sense. there you have it, my friends. gold galore. rapist, paedophiles and hamas cheerleaders staying firmly put. common sense dead, law abiding brits out of luck. these are all genuine stories from british asylum and migration covered by the telegraph newspaper, who've done a real service to the nation. well. >> we have to laugh or else we would cry. but we are being reminded, literally, as we speak, of the very