>> it�*s for >> which means it's time for tomorrow's newspapers tonight. join us. >> over the next hour. >> over the next hour. >> to. >> to. >> find out. >> find out. >> who is dominic cummings now supporting? who is saying that you can't eat fry ups? and what is trumpland? i'm josh howie and is trumpland? i�*m josh howie and tonight i�*m joined by paul cox tonight i'm joined by paul cox and nick dixon to take you through thursday's top stories. this is headliners. >> yes. >> yes. >> but before we get to tomorrow's news, let's go to tonight's headlines with sophia wenzler. >> josh. thank you. good evening. these are your headlines at 11:00, sir keir starmer has warned that vladimir putin will attack again unless america agrees to underwrite the security of ukraine after a

peace deal has been signed. speaking on his flight over to the us tonight, the prime minister also made clear that he was considering deploying british troops as part of a wider european force in ukraine. but he said it would be a decision not taken lightly and relied on continued involvement of us forces in the country. it comes after donald trump confirmed president zelenskyy will visit him on friday to sign a very big agreement. the us president held his first cabinet meeting at the white house since his inauguration last month, joined by his billionaire adviser elon musk. attention quickly turned to the minerals deal with ukraine. >> president zelenskyy is going to be coming on friday. that's now confirmed, and we�*re going to be signing an agreement, which will be a very big agreement. and i want to thank howard and scott for the job you guys did in putting it together. really did an amazing job. and that will be on rare earth and

other things. >> he went on to say that the united states would not be making security guarantees for ukraine in its deal to end the war with russia, but that europe would. meanwhile, downing street has confirmed that zelenskyy will meet with sir keir starmer and other european leaders in london on sunday. it is thought that the ukrainian president is planning to make the trip to discuss defence. elsewhere, sir keir starmer has refused to say if the deal to give away the chagos islands to mauritius would be funded by the increase in defence spending. the prime minister told the commons that the increase to 2.5% of gdp is for our capability on defence and security in europe, and described the deal being negotiated with mauritius as extremely important for our security. tory mp kieran mullan asked sir keir during prime ministers questions to give an unequivocal answer on where the money would come from, but the prime minister declined to say

whether the money for the deal would come out of an increase in defence spending. meanwhile, reform uk leader nigel farage has been in the commons voting on the chagos islands deal motion and has sparked outrage by suggesting we sell it to america. >> would rather see america have the sovereignty of the chagos islands that are corrupt, that are corrupt. mauritius, why don't we if we're if we're going to give this up, let�*s sell, to give this up, let's sell, let's sell. let's get a few billion quid for the mauritius islands, for the chagos islands. mauritius has no legal basis, no legal claim. and you know what investment would come. the chagossians could go back and get well—paid jobs. i want us to keep sovereignty. but if you're keep sovereignty. but if you�*re prepared to give away this country's interests, sell it to america. don't give it away to america. don�*t give it away to corrupt mauritius. >> and gary lineker has joined calls for a return of the axed

bbc documentary on gaza, starring a hamas chief's son. starring a hamas chief�*s son. the match of the day host condemned the bbc for bowing to censorship after the broadcaster pulled a documentary accused of blindly spouting hamas propaganda. the presenter, who is due to step down from his role in broadcasting in may, was one of 500 industry figures backing gaza how to survive a war zone and calling for it to be reinstated on iplayer. the open letter, published by artists for palestine uk, criticised what the signatories said was a racist and dehumanising campaign targeting the documentary. the bbc's board is expected to discuss the film tomorrow. those are the latest gb news headlines. now it's time for headliners. >> for the very latest gb news. direct your smartphone. sign up to news alerts by scanning the qr code, or go to

gbnews.com/alerts. >> hello and welcome to headliners, where we give you the best of tomorrow's newspapers with the best of today's comedians. first things first, we'll have a look at the front pages. the daily mail starmer set to blow billions on chagos surrender. telegraph. starmer to confront trump on ukraine and the i back europe on putin and meet king starmer's top trump card. 50 more pages in a few minutes. but paul a bit of a few minutes. but paul a bit of a theme there. >> there certainly is. >> there certainly is. >> and in the in the daily mail here. starmer set to blow defence billions on chagos surrender. >> so this is. >> so this is. >> sir keir starmer has all but confessed that labour's defence cash boost would be used to fund the chagos islands giveaway. and do you know what? bearing in mind that the defence budget is essentially to appease donald trump because he is asking the nato countries to raise their defence spending. >> and we�*re.

>> and we�*re. >> raising ours from 2.3 to 2.5 to spend to then go ahead and spend some of that money, any of that money on a deal that trump is very unlikely to agree with just seems very counterproductive to me. i don't see how this is going to go. it's a good point, but there is no definitive proof that that is what the money is going to be going towards. they're just going towards. they�*re just saying it all but admits it. well look, he just he hasn't denied it. that's not the same thing. >> fair enough. i just thing. >> fair enough. ijust think starmer is going to go in there demanding all sorts of things. he's going to end up trump's secretary. he�*s going to come secretary. he's going to come out. he�*s going to end up. >> hey, that's a. >> hey, that's a. >> good job. it�*s a good job, great job. the deal is going to end.the great job. the deal is going to end. the chagos will be gone. theni end. the chagos will be gone. then i suddenly thought, maybe starmer is a genius. i�*m going starmer is a genius. i'm going to give you this scenario. maybe he came up with i know i�*ll give away the chagos islands obviously ridiculous, a trump esque initial first offer. to

giving the chagos islands to trump? well. >> cut out the middle man. >> cut out the middle man. >> very, very farage. >> very, very farage. >> we love the chagos. it was a great gig. >> yeah. just seems to me that these two things don't go together very well. and this chagos deal is going to collapse at some point. i mean, the idea that keir starmer is playing some sort of id chess, let alone 3d chess to me, >> 70 chess. >> 70 chess. >> i would no disrespect to you, but i actually genuinely think starmer's quite an intelligent person. whether i agree with him. >> what do you mean. >> what do you mean. >> no. >> no. >> disrespect, paul? >> disrespect, paul? >> what do you mean? it was counter to my point. it seems like you're sort of suggesting that starmer is a bit thick, and i would say he�*s more intelligent than me. and you. maybe not nick. nick's more intelligent than us, but i would say i can accept this more intelligent than me and definitely more intelligent than me. i'm thick as anything, as you know, but i think he i think starmer plays at least 2d chess. yeah, i mean, i can't play 1d chess. i can�*t even play backgammon, draughts, draughts, i can play. yeah. let's go to

the daily telegraph then. what are they saying, paul? oh, nick. >> i�*ll do this one. >> i'll do this one. >> i'll do this one. >> i'll do this one. >> i can�*t even tell the difference. >> why not? yeah, well, it's because of dicks and, the podcast, anyway. available now. the daily telegraph has starmer to confront trump on ukraine, and it's very much the same story. so i don't know how you story. so i don�*t know how you want to cover it. the only additional things i was going to say was that trump is saying there won't necessarily be any security guarantees, and lammy's admitted that the white house will have veto on any deal. well. >> can i just say something about that? yeah. someone i think made a point in the earlier show. i think adam in the last show that it's quite interesting is that the idea that then they're saying that we're now saying, well, they've got the they�*ve got a veto on it got the they've got a veto on it actually makes me feel a bit patriotic. yeah. and make me think, no, you don't tell me what to do. trump. we're going to sell our island and give it to sell our island and give it to somebody else. it's as you say, it's a bit. well, it�*s say, it's a bit. well, it's a really interesting dynamic, isn't it? because we�*ve had the isn�*t it? because we�*ve had the island since 1814. i two learned that on the previous show. that wasn't knowledge i had previous to that, i don't think. but they are ours. it just it's very odd

are ours. itjust it's very odd we're giving them away to mauritius, who lay no claim to it whatsoever. >> absolutely. yeah. no. of course. and the other thing, just to add here is that there's just to add here is that there�*s maybe slightly dries it, but the us are worried about this mega embassy in china. we've said we'll put a mega chinese mega embassy in london. >> just going to call. >> just going to call. >> it london. hang on. yeah. we're not sure about that either. so those are the additional details there. and we've got other stories if you want to get into them. >> yeah. well this one the police to access driver's personal details. this is part of the new 50 laws that are being put through. and a lot of them seem very sensible. but you knew in there there was going to be something that was a little bit contentious. yeah. i mean, the idea is that they'll be able to take any data from the car, which could be facial recognition, which takes us back to the problem that we had under the tories, where they were talking about recognitions in shops to, to then use, to then put into other databases or compare with other databases to solve other crimes. now, if, like me, you feel like this is a bit of an overreach, it feels it feels like it�*s an excuse to get at the public via the back door. at the public via the backdoor. so many people could hate being

got at by the back door. yeah. you gotta you got to be careful at least. haven't you? just just ask me. >> we're all front door guys. >> we�*re all front door guys. >> we�*re all front door guys. >> here, nick. i mean, we should just get barcodes on our arms right now, right? yes. i mean, i mean, to be to be accurate about what this means is at the moment, the police can access your driver's license with with roadside, you know, speeding or whatever it is. this would mean that anybody, any police officer anywhere can basically use your. >> life if you have a license. i mean, i'm quite worried about the people driving around who don�*t have them. right. don't don't have them. right. don't have quite a lot of these people. >> what about your. >> what about your. >> fake i.d? they show like they >> fake 1.0? they show like they show like a birth certificate with tea stains on it, you know, like you�*ve done those fake like you've done those fake birth and then when you never do that, when you get served as a. >> yeah. in 1998. >> yeah. in 1998. >> yeah, yeah. >> yeah, yeah. >> anyway. >> anyway. >> that's what a lot of people have for a driver's license. it's totally fake. so i'm worried about those people with no insurance, you know what i mean? just driving around crazily. but this is this is legitimate drivers. and the police would have access to everything. yeah, and people are worried about facial recognition. >> fair enough. >> fair enough. >> they don't drive, so i never have to face it.

>> lucky you. you're your future proofed. yeah, really? one more story here. just hidden just in the bottom. wuhan lab. scientists on ominous research. seems like they're having a little experiments with bats. yeah, i don't want to tell you what to do. china i don't, and wuhan in particular, but maybe just. let�*s leave the bats alone. yeah, we've had enough. bats don't eat them either. >> it�*s like the end of the big short and it's like. and they started doing subprime mortgages again. you're like, no. could they be like, put the bats away? >> is it time to get those pots and pans out ready? no, i'm not and pans out ready? no, i�*m not doing that again. no chance. fine. the i paper has quite a interesting story. basically, i just it's the one thing that we have in the uk that we can actually trump with the king. we've got the king. yeah. 50 the we've got the king. yeah. so the headline is back europe on putin and meet king starmer. just any king, just any king, it seems. i mean, i know we've already discussed that starmer's quite clever, but this seems this seems this seems quite childish really. it seems the sort of thing. look, look, please,

please listen to us on putin. if you do, we�*ll let you see the you do, we'll let you see the king. please. trump loves the king. >> what if it turned out to be starmer's nickname for himself, the king? it's me. possibly yvette cooper, but yeah, yeah, yeah, i understand the psychology because we know trump loves the royal family, so it's just going straight for that flattery of trump. but. but will the king do it if it was our beloved late queen? maybe. but just a statement. >> the king would do it. yeah, but he's going to turn it down. >> he�*s going to turn it down. but would it be enough to like. yes, i�*ll back ukraine and your troops on the border or whatever. forever. because i met the king. >> it depends what the king does. maybe he wants to really believes in ukrainian security, i think. what do you what what what like there's got to be like more that the king can do. well, i mean, what we're suggesting is shaking hands. starmer gets carried away. negotiations. look, the king will do a little dance for you. what? i'm saying. >> he�*s got some golf clubs. >> he�*s got some golf clubs. >> you like golf clubs? he'll loot. the king will lose to you at golf. now, that is a. that's at golf. now, that is a. that's a deal. come on. surely would go

for. i mean, does starmer make the decisions? and who can meet the decisions? and who can meet the king? yeah. maybe. confirmed. let's have a look at some more papers. the times we need you to hold back putin pm tells trump, the guardian starmer to press trump on security guarantees in uk critical ukraine talks and star trump land gaza. so the times we've done enough trump yeah, we've done enough trump yeah, we've done enough of that. let's move on to here. hospital hiring doctor to treat elderly patients in corridors. that's that's not great. >> it�*s hard to parody this. i mean we're a comedy show, but yes, they're literally hiring doctors. it's just it's a kind of solution when you when your country's collapsing, it's corridor doctors. it's a new thing. it's like. and there's actually a job advert for it. it says things like must enjoy narrow spaces. i added that, but there is actually a genuine description and it's incredible. description and it�*s incredible. so i thought my theory was like, is this hospital just university hospitals, sussex nhs hospitals, sussex n hs foundation? hospitals, sussex nhs foundation? are they just posting this just to point out

how bad things are? but then i�*m like, well, it�*s a genuine job. this is with a salary of like 50 to 70 grand. i�*m like. to 70 grand. i'm like. >> but you know what? i would part of the reason why i would get into to being a doctor is, of course, to meet women. you know, you want to help you help in life, but to impress with, oh, i'm a doctor. and then you meet someone in the bar and they're like, oh, yeah, no, i head up my department. what department? the corridor department. look, i. >> wouldn't mention that. >> wouldn't mention that. >> it sounds sad to say i have some i have some experience with this. my mother in law was in hospital recently. she's well hospital recently. she�*s well now. humblebrag. yeah, but she this part of shiri. so she was constantly moved from the ward to the corridor, depending on whether they had enough beds. and she actually spent, you know, with quite a serious respiratory condition. and i hate to say, sue, for a lady of your age, she, she it�*s a real your age, she, she it's a real serious issue. so she was being so she's out in the corridor so she�*s out in the corridor with all the noise and kerfuffle that goes on out there, and it caused her quite a lot of stress. my friend gavin, he was in hospital. he was in the corridor for 24 hours. it was it

was the worst 24 hours of his entire life. yes. i mean, this is he's been to my gigs. yeah. what are your 24 hour gigs? wow. so he is a friend. a nice thing here. turbines will be painted black to cut bird deaths. that's quite interesting. yeah. i mean, if you�*re a black bird. >> just stop ed if you�*re a black bird. >>just stop ed miliband walking into them, i thought. but it turns out it's actually to stop birds flying into him because they don't. they fly and they�*re. >> so stupid. stupid birds. stupid. but it will turbines white. but this is interesting that it it�*s been. i didn't that it it's been. i didn't realise it was such a big problem, but supposedly it is because birds are so stupid, but also 70% when they have done this in the past, it cuts down bird collisions by 70% by painting them black. the problem is then i would argue a black turbine is worse than a white turbine. >> as an eyesore. >> as an eyesore. >> yeah. why don�*t they go try out blue turbines? or would that make it worse, wouldn't it? green and sort of green at the bottom. what colour would they paint the nuclear power stations. because birds are going to be flying into those suckers all the time. yeah, but

we'll all be dead. yeah. guardian. we've got some more starmer stuff. we've also got oh this is actually two child benefit cap could be relaxed. yes a parents of under—fives that's important. could be exempt from the government�*s two exempt from the government's two child benefit limit under a range of options uk ministers are considering as they try to bring down poverty numbers without removing the rule altogether. the under five thing is very interesting because i think there are there are a number of people i know, someone with five children who would who would benefit from this. josh, that�*s a stupid amount of kids. that's a stupid amount of kids. that�*s a ridiculous amount of kids. i agree, but but they are yours and you do love them all. yours are over five, though, aren't they? yeah. this is why this sucks. yeah. so this doesn't really work. and i don't want to do this story anymore. this is only an option and it might happen. but if you have if you have children under five, it could it could benefit, particularly if you have 3 or 4. but i would suggest if you're worried about child poverty, stop it too. oh thank you for your advice. so, nick, what do your advice. so, nick, what do you think about this? this is a little bit of a compromise, a little bit of a compromise, a

little bit of throwing a bone to the left of the party. >> again, doesn't apply to me. so it's hard for me to even take in. ijust read it and nothing goes driving children, these things don't, you know, nothing affects me. but this is a big it's a thing that labour's been infighting about, isn't it? so infighting about, isn�*t it? so is it about trying to appease the, you know, the. >> the left of the party? yeah, i would say that's very much so. well look, the daily star, we�*re going to cover this one. this is the trump land video. we've got that coming up in the show. it's pretty funny you want to stick around for that. but that is the front pages looked at coming up. find out who's defected to reform and what is wes streeting promising to do with the nhs and what's about to change at the washington post? this headliners only on news.

welcome back to headliners. let's get the ball rolling with thursday's express poll and who's coming and who's going. who�*s coming and who's going. express paul coyte. that's my express paul coyte. that�*s my new nickname coming cummings dominic cummings, in fact, calls on voters to back reform uk in bombshell deflection. so obviously this is boris's old right hand man. and he added no downsides, just upsides to voting reform. i mean, dominic cummings is a bit of an enigma. this comes as somewhat of a surprise, given that i watched an interview with him only a few months ago, where he said it would be very difficult for reform to find the numbers because there wouldn�*t be enough people defecting from the conservatives. however, he's he's a shrewd dude. he's a shrewd political analyst, i

would say. and i think what he's doing is he's picking up on the doing is he�*s picking up on the political winds and going with them at the moment. yeah. i just want to add a little bit of clarification here. he's not talking about the when it was referring to the next general election. he says he doesn�*t election. he says he doesn't know, but everyone should vote reform this spring. 50 it�*s not necessarily he�*s saying i�*m necessarily he's saying i�*m going to vote reform. but it could also be talking that he's saying, look, in these elections, in these local elections, in these local elections, vote reform, that's elections, vote reform, that�*s going to force more change, that's going to put the i'm that's going to put the i�*m trying to think of a well, he said it's. >> where he said it will start. the avalanche to get rid of kemi is what he actually said. yeah. 50 he talked about this a couple so he talked about this a couple of weeks ago in his blog, but it's now coming out because of this tweet where he replied when people said, what do you think of the reform? he said, dunno yet, but everyone should vote reform this spring. 50 yet, but everyone should vote reform this spring. so yeah, but he sees it. if you read the whole blog, he sees it far more as about getting elite talent, which he calls a third force on board. when he talks about reform and tories, he says it's not even a simple merger. it's about some sort of new thing, those two together. and the crucial part you keep stressing is, is the elite talent. so if

you look at what happened in in america with, with trump from 2016, nothing really happened. but trump 2024 was a genuine counter elite. because you had silicon valley, you had musk, you had jd vance. and so that's what the kind of thing cummings is talking about. he says you need to trump esque scenario where you get actual elite talent back into government. he's saying people have got to step up, you know, business people and so on and get back involved. that�*s what he�*s talking about. and he's saying it could be done via some sort of tory reform merger thing combined with elite talent, which he calls the third. >> do you think that the reform party has that kind of elite talent? >> well, he's he's talking about >> well, he's he�*s talking about from outside the party. he's talking about a kind of second strata outside of party politics, you know, business leaders and so on, like musk, who come on board. and so, yeah, idont who come on board. and so, yeah, i don't think they're in reform now. maybe some they've got what's this guy called zia yusuf and they've got some people and and they�*ve got some people and rupert lowe has business experience. business experience. he's talking about extra people. so he�*s warming up to reform so he's warming up to reform a little bit, but only because he's sort of trying to game out this strategy for 2029. >> you think farage wants reform

want wants dominic cummings? i mean, i'm just saying, if i�*m having a christmas party, if i'm reform, i'm not going to allow reform, i�*m not going to allow dominic cummings to be walking around with a camera. no. >> i mean, exactly. they haven't gone on well in the past and comes in a very clear about what he thinks of farage, but he seems to be warming up to the idea. my assumption is perhaps cummings pitches himselfjust as cummings pitches himself just as a commentator now because he doesnt a commentator now because he doesn't like whitehall, but perhaps he sees himself getting involved in it in some peripheral way to help. i don�*t know. >> they were politically aligned on brexit, although on different parties. >> yeah, but he wanted nothing to do with the farage campaign. >> absolutely. but one thing i would say supporting them in the local elections does mean supporting them in the general elections, because the only way that reform can prove that they can lead is via local councils. if they can get enough local councfls if they can get enough local councils and prove to the public that they are able to lead at that they are able to lead at that level, it's only going to bolster them further at a national level. but then lib dems tend to do very well at local level. and not necessarily. yeah, but i ed davey's at the fair all day. i think it�*s going to be an interesting time for them later on. all right. guardian nick, with job losses in the nhs, i just hope they don't let anyone vital go like the dei

department. >> yeah, it's wes streeting to >> yeah, it�*s wes streeting to axe thousands of jobs at nhs england after ousting of chief executive, which was amanda pritchard, who in a shock announcement stood down as the chief executive and sir jim mckee has come in and also streeting has got rid of richard meddings, which almost sounds like meddling because obviously streeting felt he was meddling. meddling was disappointed and dismayed. but what's the take dismayed. but what�*s the take here is basically there�*s a duplication of roles, unnecessary duplication. so they want to make it more efficient. and the other takeaway from the piece is they want to he wants more power to him to and ministers. and he's chosen this penny dash who sort of more on board with him. >> that's a better name, isn�*t >> that's a better name, isn't it? i'd rather have penny dash working for me, doctor. penny dash. that�*s like. dash. that's like. >> it sounds efficient compared to meddling. >> that also sounds a little bit like she's like from er or from casualty. >> or from, like, what's that thing with the puppets? like, i was thinking of the 605, you know. >> the thing. okay. >> the thing. okay. >> yeah. thunderbirds. >> yeah. thunderbirds. >> oh right. yeah, yeah. penny. dash. yeah, yeah. >> or bond or something. yeah,

yeah. >> anyway, no, not richard meddings. >> yeah. yeah, exactly. so yeah, this is the one thing this labour government, clearly they're very comfortable with being hated. but the one time that could be useful is cutting nhs waste. >> it's also going to lead to some money saving money savings. right. yeah. yeah i mean wes right. yeah. yeah. i mean wes streeting is the closest thing t