tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC October 14, 2015 10:35pm-11:37pm CDT
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and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live"! >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, nathan fillion. from espn, jalen rose. music from father john misty. with cleto and the cletones. and now, stay put, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. i appreciate it.
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we have a lot to talk about tonight. i want to start with cat bate. a lot of you are here on vacation but how many of you watched the debate last night? [ cheers and applause ] i figure about 63% are lying but we'll go with it. turned out it was the highest-rated debate for the democrats ever. more than 15 million people tuned in to watch hillary clinton, bernie sanders, and the three high school principals they invited to fill out the stage. anyone name the other guys in the debate? okay, it was jim webb, the former senator from virginia, who looks like an angry stepdad. o'mally o'mally, the guy who comes in the picture frames. and former rhode island governor lincoln chafee, who appears to have wandered in accidentally from a bird-watching competition or expedition. there wasn't much in the way of fireworks especially compared to night.
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uncomfortable night at a book club. the most interesting part was the introduction. the debate was in las vegas. the intro for it was very, very las vegas. >> announcer: tonight, the first democratic debate of this presidential race. critical test for a party superstar who's been down this road before. hillary clinton. the front-runner. facing questions about her record, her e-mails, and the strength of her support. bernie sanders. the surprise threat. gaining in the polls. dissed by critic hot doubt he can go the distance. the other is an 11-time world champion, undefeated at 47-0. boxing's best pound for pound fighting and the highest-paid athlete in the world. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: bernie sanders. most of the experts, they rate these things afterwards. most of the experts thought hillary won the debate, although some said bernie sanders won.
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no one said any of the others won, not even them. sanders supporters pointed to the fact that bernie was the most googled of all the candidates during the debate. sounds like a big thing until you realize the top questions they googled included, who is bernie sanders? and, is bernie sanders jewish? anderson cooper tried to make a case that bernie sanders isn't electable because he calls himself a socialist. i think that's the least of his problems. i think he isn't electable because he calls himself bernie. who's going to vote for a president bernie? you'd spend a weekend with bernie, yeah. four years? i don't know. i really don't. joe biden, for whom cnn left an empty podium just in case he decided to suddenly run for president, was not in las vegas for the debate. or was he? now look at this. >> it's about time we have paid family leave for american families enand zone the rest of the world.
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>> i'd like you to stop on that guy. does that guy look familiar to you at all? let's take off the beard. it's vice president biden. [ cheers and applause ] donaldrump was live tweeting the debate last night. this morning he told abc news he thought clinton got through it fineas the quote. which is the highest compliment he can give a woman without marrying her. it really is. mike huckabee tweeted something crazy. this guy's starving for attention. he tweeted during the debate, i trust bernie sanders with m tax dollars like i trust a north korean chef with my labrador. how great would it be to see dennis rodman fly to arkansas to kick mike huckabee's ass for at mark? i was very busy watching the baseball games last night. last night the chicago cubs advanced to the national league championship series, justice was predicted in "back to the future
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2," it's coming true. any postseason win at all is a big thing for cubs fans. the cubs, they haven't won a world series since 1908, which is 1,000 years ago. this is the first time they've ever clinched a playoff series at wrigley field which gave cubs fans and their deceased loved ones something to celebrate. >> i brought my dad. dad grew up in the neighborhood, life long cubs fan. he just would love every minute of what's going on. >> your father's ashes are in that bottle? >> my father's ashes are in the bottle. i them in a safety cup -- a safety cap on so he doesn't spill everywhere. >> jimmy: that's right. if you're going to carry your dad's ashes in the windy city, make sure there's a safety cap. her father's name is ritalin, by the way. good news for those who are sitting in our audiencetonight. according to a new study by two itish universities, and those are the best ones because they have british people in them, sitting does not increase your
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risk of death. which is the opposite of what we've been told over the last five years. makes you wonder why should we believe this study? depends where you're stud sitting. for instance if you're sitting on train tracks the risk of death is higher. this is very exciting. i got one of those standup desks and it's a pain. i'm glad i don't have to stand up. using the bathroom has been very challenging for me since i started standing up. the weather channel, i don't know if you heard, again, they've released a list of winter storm names for the season. the fourth year they've done this. no one's ever asked them to do this. the names were picked by students in the latin club at a high school in montana. some of the names are kaila, lexie, bella. which i think means the kids in the latin club are watching
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ajax, regis, yolo. isn't it bad enough to lose your house in a storm? you have to lose it to a storm named yolo? it would be ironic to be killed by a winter storm yolo, wouldn't it? you do only live once. this is exciting action next week we're taking our show to brooklyn, new york. five shows at brooklyn academy of music. [ cheers and applause ] bill murray, howard stern, jay-z, michael j. fox, bradley cooper, misty copeland the ballerina is going to teach guillermo and i how to do ballet. we're going to the bronx zoo with tracy morgan. donald trump is going to be with us. ryan adams, public enemy, paul shaffer will be leading the band with cleto while we're there. we have surprises too. it's going to be a lot of fun. this mets/dodgers series has caused the rivalry between new york and l.a. to heat up. i got a lot of abuse rooting for mets at dodger stadium friday night. one thing we here in l.a. have
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in common with new york is we both have people who dress up as superheroes and other characters for tips posing for pictures outside. in l.a. they do this outside our studio on hollywood boulevard, in "new york times" square. we sent camera crews to both locations to quiz these people in each city to see who knows more about the characters they dress up as? this very super and special edition of "l.a. versus new york." [ cheers and applause ] >> what is the name of the island that the statue of liberty is on? >> i don't know. >> who is mr. crab's arch heave nemesis who is trying to steal the secret recipe for crabby patties. >> plaintiff. >> what is that? plaintiff? >> uh-huh. >> what's the name of the popular pharell song from your
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movie? >> bah bah bah bah bah! >> that's close, it's "happy." >> what color are minions? >> jello. >> who is bowser? >> the boss, the main boss for super mario. >> what does he took like? >> a turtle with spikes like a dinosaur. >> that's absolutely right. how old is elmo? >> i don't know. 20? >> what type of animal does catwoman have an empathetic relationship with? >> with the rats. >> complete this lyric. "jingle bells, batman --"? >> is awesome. >> what theme park is the minions ride located? >> like banana. >> like banana? >> yes. >> what type of cat is hello kitty?
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>> the cat. >> absolutely right. what is spongebob's girlfriend's name? >> sandy! >> what is sandy? >> sandy is my chipmunk! oh, yeah! >> what is your girlfriend's name? >> oh, my girlfriend? >> what year was super mario invented? >> '85, i think? >> that is absolutely right. what is evil mario's name? >> evil? i don't know. evil. >> that's metal mario. >> metal mario, oh, man, what do i know? i'm usually jesus out here, you know? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: too bad the super jesus brothers never caught on. we have something special when we come back from break. i'm going to teach a grown man how to ride a stick around for
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>> jimmy: welcome back. nathan fillion, jalen rose, music from father john musty on the way. this show that i host is the result of a lot of work fro a lot of people. here. primarily because i hire all my relatives to wk he. but recently i learned one of my writers, who's 32 years old, name's josh doesn't know how to ride a bike. which troubled me because this is kind of an important skill to have. especially if you're planning to have kids one day. and josh is this close to gettg engaged. i know he didn't want me to meion this but i know it f a fact wathinng about this.
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josh's ofce, ll him out of workooha anyood boss/father gu would , ach h sate oay can teach his chil re a bike >> hapng ee t to . hejosh heho ig? sonohy i? >> havaeeli. >>hyo you ink i'm here? because have somessues with - riding ake. >> in th youeanouon't ee how to ride a bike? >> i -- you know. it's complicated. >> well, i'm here right now to do what your parents should have done. teach you how to ride a bicycle. okay? >> okay. >> let's go. >> all right. >> i have some pads for you. >> okay. >> because we don't want you to get hurt. change and come on out, all
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right? >> [ bleep ]. >> how's it going in there? >> i don't know if the pants are on the right way. >> let's see it. >> jimmy: you look like lance armstrong. you look like lance bass, actually. here's the bicycle. >> okay. >> jimmy: i want you to get on the bike but don't do it, just stand, just get comfortable with the seat. >> okay. >> jimmy: i gotcha. just put your feet up on the pedals there. yeah. pedals forward. let's go forward. i have to say it's easier to do this with children. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, okay. wow, you really don't know how to ride a bike. i mean -- okay. all right. >> can we start over? >> jimmy: okay. start over. don't worry, none of this will be on television.
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[ laughter ] this is very private. give yourself a push-off. all right? >> okay. >> jimmy: all right. >> [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: good. >> [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. yeah, i know, it's [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: what, are you on meth? what's going on? >> i'm scared about falling. >> jimmy: you're not going to get anything more than a scrape. >> okay, fine. >> jimmy: wow. >> [ bleep ], [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. sorry. i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry. i don't know how to stop. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. why my turning? >> jimmy: i don't know. >> why is it turning? >> jimmy: it's the balance part. >> oh, [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh [ bleep ]! >> jimmy: that was really good.
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all right, you feel good about that? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you feel proud? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right. next thing, come over here. we got a little obstacle course for you. now, you did actually naturally pedal in a zig-zag fashion. so what you're going to do is you're going to go through this obstacle course and you're going to go through that hoop. it's a little ramp. you're going to go through that. i'm going to go with you in the first run, okay? >> okay. >> jimmy: all right. remember, keep moving forward. don't stop on those speed bumps. or that ramp. >> yeah, yeah, thank you. oh [ bleep ]! [ bleep ], [ bleep ]! over. >> i don't feel like i got a good start. >> jimmy: you're already falling. >> i know, i know. [ bleep ]. okay. i just -- did it. there we go. >> jimmy: good.
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>> [ bleep ], no, no! . >> jimmy: i'm going to take out these speed bumps, i think they're a problem. i think i'm going to straighten out this obstacle course a little bit. there's going to be one little difference though this time. >> okay. >> jimmy: the ring, the hoop, is going to be on fire. >> [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: make sure you have enough speed going over the -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: the ramp, okay? >> i know i can be better than this. >> jimmy: yeah. ready? >> wait, wait, the pedals -- >> jimmy: get the pedals going. okay, all right. ready? >> [ bleep ]. holy [ bleep ], [ bleep ]! what the [ bleep ]! >> jimmy: you know how to ride a
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bike! congratulations. you'll never ride a bike again, will you? >> no, i will not. >> jimmy: once was enough. all right, good job. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: josh, josh, josh! josh, try again. josh, go back the other way and try again. come on we've got to get this right. you've got to move fast. that's the key. >> okay. >> guillermo: ready? i'm pushing. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go, there you go! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well done. there you go. that's josh. [ cheers and applause ] josh, josh, next week we're going to work on sex stuff, okay? >> okay, sounds good.
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>> jimmy: that's josh, everyone. we have a good show tonight. music from father john misty. from espn, jalen rose is here. be right back with nathan fillion so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by sam adams. delicious oktoberfest. get it while it lasts. sam adams for the love of beer. out putting my personal info in these online shopping forms. last name. how about last time. now i breathe easy, with the ancient art of yoga... and masterpass. this pose is called "downward facing hog." yoga's hard, right? you want a bite? more for me! the easier way to shop online. masterpass from mastercard and your bank.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight, he lends his basketball brain to 82 nba countdown" on espn and abc, a new book "got to give the people what they want," jalen rose is with us. i read this book. jalen is going to share a story from this book tonight that is among the finest and funniest stories i've ever heard. it is an a-plus, i promise you that. then "i love you honey bear," father john misty from the samsung outdoor stage. tomorrow night, from the leftovers, justin theroux will be here. from "scandal," scott foley. music from duran duran. next week we're taking our show on the road to brooklyn, new york. five shows from the brooklyn academy of music. we'll be joined by bill murray, michael j. fox, howard stern, donald trump, misty copeland, jay-z, paul shaffer, music from
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esperanza spalding, bryan adams, public enemy too. it all starts monday. are we excited? >> guillermo: very excited. >> jimmy: you make the most of a road trip, don't you? >> guillermo: yeah, i like to have fun wherever i go. >> jimmy: i think it's going to be the best week of our lives, i really do. if your thirst for lies, mystery and grisly murder isn't satisfied on "dancing with the stars" monday nights you are welcome to stay up for our first guest show, he plays the crime-fighting novelist richard castle on "castle." please welcome nathan fillion! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> criminal novelist. >> jimmy: you look like an off-duty priest right now. >> let me it button. get macho.
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>> not bad, you? >> jimmy: very well. >> i had the day off. >> jimmy: very nice. >> time to get a dentist appointment in. >> jimmy: you did? they look good. you have really good teeth. >> no cavities. >> jimmy: no cavities at all? that's nice. >> i mean, not today. >> jimmy: how often do you go to the dentist? >> now -- it's been awhile since the last time. >> jimmy: has it really? >> six years. i hadn't been in six years. >> jimmy: six years? >> i've been a little busy. >> jimmy: six years and no cavities? >> that's right. >> jimmy: you must be brushing very well. do you floss as well? >> when i eat ribs, pot corn, papaya, mangos. anything that sticks in my teeth, that's when i'm going to floss. >> had all that stuff. >> or in traffic. i have floss sticks when i'm in traffic. >> jimmy: that must be a treat for people when they pull up alongside you. whatever you're doing, it's really working. >> thanks. >> jimmy: it's a fascinating line of conversation too. when you were a kid did you hate
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the din test? >> i was never a huge fan. >> jimmy: uh-huh, sure. >> you ever had a terrible experience with a dentist, one of those -- >> jimmy: not really. >> i had one thing happen to me that kind of just hit me two weeks ago. when i was a kid my brother and i, we had overbites. so the process by which they put little stickers on our cheeks and back of the neck and they hooked up cables to these things, into a little device, and they started shocking us. >> jimmy: what? >> it was pleasant. like a tingly thing. it sounds awful now that i say it out loud >> jimmy: are you sure this was dental surgery? maybe your parents were trying to get something fixed. >> it was on the jaw, in the back. they put us in a room, a roubl table, magazines we didn't care about. there was two dials on this machine. one was the strength of the shock, one was the frequency. my brother and i, 28-year-old
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let's see who can turn theirs up the highest. and i was, arrgh! how can he take it for so long? i can't believe it! two weeks ago he confessed. he said, i never turned my dials. >> jimmy: who is this dentist that is letting two 8-year-old boys sit in a room -- was his last name mengele? that is insane. >> how perfect is that practical joke? >> jimmy: it as great practical joke. >> i was mad, i can't believe you did nothing! i did it myself! >> jimmy: did you get your inclination toward practical jokes from your practice? brother? >> here's the thing about practical jokes. i've never been a practical joker. i played a couple and got a reputation. >> jimmy: i thought you were, i don't know why. >> that's why. that's a dangerous thing. you don't want a reputation as a practical joker. a, if anyone gets a joke played on them they think it's you. >> jimmy: that's true. >> b, if anyone has a joke to play on someone they pick you,
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immy: that's true unless they're scared of you, like in my case. >> right. i had a terrible experience a couple of months ago. i was doing renovations in the house. there's these guy guys coming in, renovating a bathroom, doing some stuff, it's great. great guys. i've heard nightmare stories about contractors. i got a great bunch of guys. one guy, super friendly, super happy, whistles while he works. that's what you want. but he whistles the same song. and it's "pop goes the weasel." over and over. you want to go crazy fast? >> jimmy: no. >> one day i'm walking past the door, i see these guys finishing their lunch. and i said, perfect, it's like tailor-made. i go to the room where he's working, i hide in the closet. he comes in, starts whistling. at the perfect time i jump out, pop! scared the crap out of him. >> jimmy: what? you jumped out?
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>> jimmy: you're the homeowner and hiding on your workers. he says pop and you jump out? >> i jump out, pop goes the weasel! i had a good laugh. turns out he's got some kind of nervous condition. the next time i seehim, he's got no left eyebrow. >> jimmy: what? >> he's lost the hair -- >> jimmy: why? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: you think it was because of your popping? >> because. the contractor said, hey, if you him anymore. >> jimmy: you popped his eyebrow off? >> i don't know. it was like a weekend. i don't know. if it happened all at once, a >> jimmy: wow. >> he didn't whistle at my house anymore. by? that's -- there's some weird things going on. >> i feel terrible. no more practical jokes. >> jimmy: has his attorney contacted you? what would you -- what would the damages be? >> that's the thing.
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hey, man, thanks for the hard work, give you a tip. you want to give him extra but what are you saying? this is what your eyebrow is worth to me. >> jimmy: this is a settlement. what do you pay for a missing eyebrow? >> what is that? >> jimmy: it's got to be at least 100 bucks, yes? >> i thought that was fair. >> jimmy: yeah. we'll discuss it during the commercial. nathan fillion is here. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] snoes . >> dicky: watch next week as "jimmy kimmel live" returns to brooklyn.
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together all the way. we're looking for something a little less... maybe a little less expensive? absolutely. please. well, check out yelp. we need a great body shop. my wife just hit a deer. [upset deer bleats] he just froze. it's cool. we know just the place. i guess i need... golf... lessons? yes you do! [ka-boom!] that looks rad. whatever you need... whenever you need it... check yelp first. we know just the place. alaska. finally. the search for brown bears begins. denali highway. low on gas. pit stop. fill up. double points. yep, that's cold. tired. day 2. coffee. eggs. double points. beautiful.
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tt2w`t3n`!t# bt@q_ht tt2w`t3n`!t# "a@qod0 tt2w`t3n`!t# bm@qdo< tt4w`t3n`!t#" dztq 3c( tt4w`t3n`!t#" entq cgh tt4w`t3n`!t#" gzt& z@0 tt4w`t3n`!t#" hnt& jn\ tt4w`t3n`!t#" iztq '$ tt4w`t3n`!t#" jntq 2wd tt4w`t3n`!t#" lzt& *:8 five minutes. if i haven't, you can kick me out. >> fine but you have to be decontaminated. >> sounds like fun. whoa, wah! wow, whoa! >> jimmy: that is what nathan fillion does with his contractors. a little carlkarmic justice. i want to ask about the show. how many seasons you've been circling each other, flirting, are they ever going to get together? >> i think four or five are they ever going to, then will they get married, then we got married. >> jimmy: you got married. >> and now, season eight.
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>> yeah. >> jimmy: which seems weird, almost abusive, right? how do your fans react to this? >> what? >> jimmy: they don't like it? >> i get that a lot. they videotape themselves watching shoate and put that on youtube. you can watch their reactions to the show. >> jimmy: that's disturbing. >> it's kind of cool. >> jimmy: you'd think it would drum up negative emotions based on when you were a kid and your parents split up, in a way. >> no. >> jimmy: not at all? >> no. >> jimmy: you've got another thing going on that i think is pretty cool. >> i do. >> jimmy: this is a picture of -- was this you or your character? >> well, that's -- yeah i guess that's my character. >> jimmy: in "halo 5." >> new video game. >> jimmy: how did they do this? >> they flew me to -- i used to play this video game and i was super jazzed about it. i was public about being jazzed. they said, hey, would you like to do a couple of lines in "hail i don't 2"?
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character in "halo 3"? yes, yes. "halo 5." they snap a picture of face, a digital puppet, oh, yeah, that looks like me. now they flew me out to seattle, put me in this rig that looks like some kind of space pod, 36 cameras pointed at your face. they strap you in so you can't move your face. four hours. >> jimmy: like being at the dentist. >> yeah. it's all connected to a computer, there's a kid working it out. i said jokingly, can you make it look like i'm just a little bit better-looking than i actually am? blip! we were laughing about it. but all these trailers and cool commercials -- >> jimmy: you're a handsome man in real life but you are slightly more handsome. >> yeah, people are on twitter going, hey, there's a guy on "halo 5" looks just like you only better-looking. >> jimmy: well, the important thing is you get to wear a
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a turtleneck with a giant knife attached to the side of it. very good to see you, congratulations. eight seasons of "castle." >> thank you. >> jimmy: unbelievable. nathan fillion, monday nights at 10:00 on abc. we'll be right back with jalen rose! [ cheers and applause ] k from bank of america to take their act to the next level... before earning 1% cash back everywhere, every time... 2% back at the grocery store... and 3% back on gas... vince of the flying branzinos got a bankamericard cash rewards credit card, because he may earn his living jumping through hoops, but he'd rather not earn cash back that way. that's the spectacle of rewarding connections. apply online or at a bank of america near you. come on my love,
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: still to come, music from father john misty. our next guest starred on one of the greatest college basketball teams ever. he played 13 seasons in the nba. basketball is his thing. why he's holding a baseball bat on the cover of his book is a mystery to all. it's called "got to give the people what they want" from "nba countdown" on espn and abc, please welcome jalen rose! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good to see you. first of all, what does the title mean, got to give the people what they want? >> give them what they need. i sing it on every radio show.
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>> we got to own it. we got to give the people give the people what they want [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: okay. well, what if the people want your shoes? what are you going to do then? >> depends on how much they want to spend. >> jimmy: your life story is pretty remarkable. i mean, there's a lot of great -- first of all, tell us what champagning and campaigning is, or campaigning and champagning. >> you're going to get me fired. >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> champagning and campaigning is when you turn it up, having a really good time, celebrating like you just won the championship but it may be a tuesday night. you know? may involve some throwing up and hangover but you still got to be ready to perform the next day. >> jimmy: how many tuesdays will this happen on? is this a once a year thing? >> well, when i was younger and playing in the league, it was different. i'm old and washed-up now. i'd say a handful of time sxwlts a handful of times? >> a week.
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that's a phrase you came up with? >> no, that's honest. >> jimmy: there's a story in this book, and i'm just -- i just want to hear you tell it. it's one of the best stories i've ever heard. you and your friend riz wa in a car. tell the story. >> great. me and my friend riz were in a bentley, went to the sunset room, champagning and campaigning. sparks had just won a championship. we were popping bottles. i saw lisa leslie, one of the greatest players ever. my friend was like, you need to try to holler at her, she call as you, you ought to have a little kevin garnett! i'm like, no, that's just my friend, our mothers are friends, whatever. i violated a lot of rules i normally do when i go out, like valet, tip, whatever. late at night, you get in the car, riding up sunset through bel air. all of a sudden we stop at a light at barrington. i look to my right. there's a red cadillac truck. i see the dome light come on. a gentleman gets out of the back seat. walks behind the car.
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walks up to us. he's pointing a 9 millimeter. i'm like, okay. so i felt, once he started to speak, he relaxed. at least crazily that's what i thought. so i hit the gas. i didn't have a problem giving up the car because it wasn't mine. okay? >> jimmy: whose car was it? >> it was a loaner. i'm one of the kind of guys, inspector gadget, trying to put music and tvs in the car. i had so many electrical problems they gave me a loaner, drop-top bentley. bentley? absolutely, let's get it. he whips out the 9 millimeter. and i hit the gas. he shot this car. nine times. okay? i have the forensic pictures. of the car. and as you get past the 405 i realize, wow. i'm not hit. and i look over at my friend. he's bleeding everywhere. and so i obviously freaked out as you would.
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how you going to explain this? how you going to get help? i didn't want him to panic so i was rubbing his leg, dog, it's going to be all right, i'm going to get us some help. i pick up my phone and i call 911. and i'm like, you know, please help me, my dog just got shot, tell me where the closest hospital is, please. they gave me the directions. so i'm driving down the street. remember this car got hit nine times, the car is smoking like a movie. i'm hay it's still rolling. and i make the couple of turns they give me, i look up, it's a veterinarian. because i said my dog got shot. [ laughter ] i start cursing. i said a couple of four-letter ones that not. by the grace i look to the left and i see the hospital. we whip up. he jumps out. they throw him on the gurney, rush him into the hospital. they get him into surgery. and by the grace, again, the bullet was slow the down by the
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makes. true story. i guess that's why these cars cost $400,000. so it slowed down the bullet enough to where the impact, once it hit him in his cheek, it didn't shatter his face. to this day, my dog riz still has a bullet in his neck. >> jimmy: wow. that is a great story. you should have had him neutered while he was there in the hospital. at least a flea and tick dip or something. boy. that is pretty unbelievable. >> that's not in "the fresh prince of bel air." >> jimmy: you have -- i think this will be handy especially for young athletes. you've come up with a friendly guide to trash talking. i'll go through these and you can expound on them. number one, respect your opponent. recognize how good they are and what it's going to take to beat them. >> absolutely. and also, if they're a little bit crazy, because if you're at the park, the backyard, the ymca, you're talking trash to the wrong person, hi might pop the twrung and the game is going
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to be over. >> jimmy: pop the trunk. be prepared to deal with the consequences. >> yes. >> jimmy: nothing is out of bounds. >> yes. >> jimmy: you say cursing is overrate overrated? >> just because you curse, huffing and puffing, don't mean you're getting into their head. >> jimmy: nothing is out of bounds, you'd say anything about them or to them? >> absolutely. nothing's out of bounds. if it's going to happen, have more points at the end of the game, i'll say it. that's how this works. >> do your research, what does that mean? >> be a student of trash talking. this is before internet. this is before youtube. so i used to read magazines, newspapers, get nicknames, get things that they weren't proud of that happened in their family, and share it with them during the game. >> jimmy: finally, win. >> yes. yes. got to win. >> jimmy: who's the best trash talker you ever played with? >> i think as an opponent, the best trash talker had to be gary payton.
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>> jimmy: gary payton? >> absolutely. the guy's in the hall of fame and we're on the basketball court and he's talking trash like we in the alley somewhere. like he was volatile and mean with it. i'm like, this dude really want to fight! you know? i was saying to my man g.p. >> jimmy: a lot of great stuff. we barely scratched the surface. this is it. "got to give the people what they want." it's out now. the nba comes back to espn october 28th. jalen rose, everybody. be right back with father john misty! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. don't miss tomorrow night's "jimmy kimmel live" stream presented by mastercard featuring an exclusive concert from duran duran. yahoo.com/jimmykimmellive
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take my files telling people jokes to shut them up resenting people that i love sleep in 'til two then doin' -- just stay in bed and later lie 'bout it obsessing over greying hair knowing just what people wanna hear binging on unearned attention i've said awful things such awful things and now now it's out and now now it's out i came by at seven in the morning seven in the morning seven in the morning
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