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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. we're sitting here with our friend jerry seinfeld. >> hey, my first time on the new "late show"." >> stephen: exactly. thank you so much. >> with stephen colbert. >> stephen: you're our first stand-up. >> wow, you must have had some comedian s. >> stephen: we're starting high. >> let's see if someone can beat that. >> stephen: we'll put a hashed mark up on the wall and stand them next to it when it's over. do you follow politics? do you follow the debates? >> yeah, i watch them a little bit. i met rand paul, senator rand paul backstage. >> stephen: he's a nice guy. >> he's a nice guy. and i like his hair. he's like a baby out of the bassinet kind of hair.

just-- baby so clean now. look how clean baby is. >> stephen: if trump wasn't running we'd be talking about his hair. >> yeah, every night. but you gotta enjoy that people want to be president or that they even think the idea, let's be honest. the idea that anybody thinks they should be president. you gotta be out of your mind! >> stephen: it's a little crazy. >> you've got to be crazy! ( laughter ) gr yeah. >> all these people, they're all crazy! ( laughter ) >> stephen: you look at-- >> i think i should be the >> stephen: you look at 300 million americans and you go, la-lala-- that guy right there. >> i think i should be in charge of everything. "honey, i was thinking." >> stephen: speaking of being in charge of everything, you've got the show "comedians in cars getting coffee." >> yeah, that's my little show. >> stephen: fantastic. ( applause ) you are starting a year residency at the beacon theater,

>> once a month a year. >> stephen: that's fantastic. >> it's great. >> stephen: you know what you're going to do. >> i know what i'm going to do once a month for a year. >> stephen: it's going to be you, the allman brothers, steely dan. how are you going to get the smell of the beacon theater out of your clothes and keep going back? >> i love it. i love it. that's what i really love those kinds of theaters. the beacon is-- i picked that place-- there are a lot of places you could play, bigger places or, you know-- but that place has that vibe of a real theater. it's kind of an old vaudeville house, built in the 20s. >> stephen: it's about this size, actually. >> yeah. these places-- you know, i have performed everywhere. >> stephen: you could perform anywhere you want. >> anywhere i want. and i like it when it's-- when it's -- >> you could perform, like, in the international space station if you want. someone would scrape together a kickstarter to get you there. >> they would. but it doesn't work. the space station is not a good place for comedy. >> stephen: tough room?

( laughter ) sorry. i apologize. okay, but-- okay, but talking about controlling things, you just had your most-watched "comedians in cars getting coffee" of all time. obama. >> yes, i was with president obama in the white house. >> thank you. >> stephen: how can that happen? >> my producer, tammy johnston, who is a very low-key person and would not like me mentioning her name. >> stephen: tammy johnson. >> tammy johnston. >> stephen: johnston. of the screen, please. >> she produces the debates, all the political debates. >> stephen: republican and democrat? >> yeah. so we were sitting around one day, and we were joking-- i was joking. i said, "why don't we get the president on the show?" she says, "you want me to call them?" ( laughter ) i said,"yeah, go ahead, call them." ( laughter ) and they said, "we were hoping you would call." >> stephen: really? >> yeah, they said we wanted to do the show. >> stephen: he's funny. >> yeah, he's funny. i always thought he was funny. there are not a lot of funny

>> harding wasn't funny. ( laughter ). >> stephen: but very corrupt. >> yeah. >> stephen: so, okay-- >> so here's my impression of the white house. >> stephen: all right. >> okay? i was hanging around there, and i'm talking to him, and then we try and leave, and they don't let him leave. he can't leave. >> stephen: he literally can't leave the white house? >> not unless it's all organized. >> stephen: oh, yes, schedule, and security. >> with guns and helicopters and, you know. so he's like a guy captured by aliens. ( laughter ) right? and the aliens bring him back to their planet -- >> the planet white house. >> planet white house. and they keep him there. the only show they get is "the beverly hillbillies." so they build him a house. and they say, "we have brought you to our planet to solve all of our problems because you have an incredible brain." and he can do that. and then as soon as he starts to solve the problems, they go, "we don't agree with that." ( laughter ) "we don't want you doing that. don't do that." >> stephen: it's a tough gig. >> yeah, that's a tough gig. >> stephen: did he drive or

>> we both drove. he hadn't driven in so many years so i let him drive the car. >> stephen: i think we have a clip. what kind of car is this? >> a '63 split-window corvette. the coolest corvette of all time. >> i bet if you park, they'll let us out. just say, "i'm the president." >> hay, darrell, can you open this up. >> i'm sorry, i can't allow it. >> that's unbelievable. golly. >> i knew that wouldn't work. >> you didn't sell it. ( laughter ). >> stephen: most powerful man in the world. >> yeah. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: the most powerful man in the world. so seven million people watched that. you were, like, an internet star. are you mr. technology? >> eh, some of it. i like. some of it i don't like it. i don't want any more e-mails with links. no more link s. >> stephen: that's where the information is.

i don't want it. there are too many of them. "i'm sending you a link. did you open the link in? "no, i didn't open the link. i got a lot of links. get in the link line." "you gotta see this. did you see this?" eight e-mails back and forth to watch a fat guy tripping over a cat. did you see it? yeah, i'm sending you a link of me brogue my brains out. that's the last link. too many links. >> stephen: but you've got time. you have a gig one night a month. >> no, too many link s. >> stephen: so you are happily marry. ed you have kids. >> love marriage, love kids, love the whole thing. do you travel? >> we came back from a family vacation, beautiful family vacation. >> stephen: that's nice. >> when i call "let's pay a lot of money to go fight in a ( laughter ) right? i've been there. >> it's great. let's fight on bikes.

let's fight about how well behaved those other children seem to be. ( laughter ). >> stephen: always are. >> yeah, yeah. >> stephen: where was this? >> mexico. >> stephen: where in mexico was this-- >> what's the difference? ( laughter ) >> stephen: there's a huge difference. we went to juarez. i don't know why we were fighting for our lives. we brought you back souvenirs. it's 20 heads in a duffel bag. it makes a difference. it makes a difference. you're gone. no one can find you. it's not like-- did you go to aca pullico. >> we went to guzman's house. when you get him away from work. he's a fun guy. >> stephen: you gotta relax. >> the drug trade makes him crazy though, he's tense, teps. >> stephen: i had de niro on right before the break. and i said to him-- he in some

york. he is new york. other people like you kind of are new york. >> that's very nice to think that. ( cheers and applause ). >> thank you. >> stephen: to a lot of people now, donald trump is coming to represent new york. >> hold it. >> stephen: oh, no, i'm not saying to people who live in new york. but to people out in the country, they, like, see donald trump as representing new york. how do you feel about that? >> you know, we have a lot of different kind of people here. >> stephen: that's true, that's true. there's a thing about certain kind of people, rich people sometimes-- it's that-- they get in that world, you know, what i mean? people achieve a certain amount of success. they don't know that there's a world-- their head becomes the world. they think the global is my skull. >> stephen: yes. >> these are the people that want to be president. ( laughter ). >> stephen: well, i mean, you've achieved a certain level. do you have to deal with anything you don't want to deal with at this point? >> coi have to deal with

i don't want to deal with-- everything is annoying. >> stephen: i heard you say the privilege is poisonous, right? >> yes, privilege is poisonous. >> stephen: how do you avoid that? how do you avoid being not poisoned by being successful. >> i vacation in mexico. >> stephen: sounds good. it's our last question here. "comedians in cars getting coffee" available now on crackle.com. >> and on our own web site. type in the title and it will come up. did anyone see stephen's fantastic episydney of "comedians in cars." >> stephen: those sounds like three things you really like, comedians, cars, and coffee. >> i like all three. >> stephen: if you only had one of them which one would it be? >> the comedian. >> stephen: me, too. i think maybe jerry seinfeld. thank you, jerry. >> thank you. >> stephen: thank you so much for being here. "comedians in cars getting coffee" is streaming now all over the internet.

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,,,,,,,, ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my next guest is running for president of these united states. please welcome senator

( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thanks for being here. i've wanted to talk to you for a long time. >> i thought i was going to get a monologue. when is my monologue. >> stephen: any time you want. you know what, jerry seinfeld made fun of your hair, and so by debate rules you have a 30-second rebuttal if there's anything you would like to say about jerry seinfeld's hair. >> the next time we come out together and have him look in the mirror and say, "who's got the better hair, jerry?" >> stephen: that's true, that's true. i understand you cut your own hair. is that true? >> i'm conservative, man. i gotta save money. i got three kids in college. i got three kids in college. >> stephen: what do you use, nail clippers? what do you use to cut your hair? >> it's a bit random, and sometimes it involves drinking beforehand. >> stephen: is that what rand is short for, random paul? >> could be. >> stephen: how is your dad, by the way?

>> you know, he's doing great. my dad is indomitable. we go home and he out-walks us, high out-rides on the bike. he's in great shape. >> stephen: does he out-talk you? >> there's a close competition in our household for talking. there are a lot of talkers in the paul household. >> stephen: a doctor as you are, and the thing i really like about your dad is that she's intellectually consistent. you know where he stands. are you as transparent in your beliefs as your dad is? >> i try to be almost as good. because if i were better that would be embarrassath home. if you're better than your dad. so i try to be almost as good. ( laughter ). >> stephen: if you've-- if you've had to curtail any of your beliefs in order to run for president, sit there and blink. ( laughter ) i got all night.

it's called "taking a stand." the book's right there. now i've got the latest polls here, sir, and i'm not going to go into the numbers too much. it's a cnn nationwide poll. and you're on the list here. you're always in the top-card debate at this point. you're a little bit down the list, you know. you're behind rubio, and carson and christie. huckabee. the numbers somewhat don't really matter. what matters in this list is you're all over 25 points behind a guy who builds golf courses for a living. did you think governing experience would be a liability the way it is right now? >> there's another list on the other side of your card, and it says-- i was at the very top of this one. >> stephen: which one? the worst dressed. ( laughter ) >> stephen: really? >> can you believe -- >> they actually list it. >> you can believe they would put me at the top of the worst dressed list. >> stephen: you look fine. >> that's because my wife made me wear this. i was going to wear a mock turtleneck, i had cut huff off s. >> stephen: do you wear mock

you look like tom brokaw. he's the last man to look good in a turtleneck. >> you can get them for $7.99 at target. >> stephen: again, i hope your haircuts cost more than that. >> debatable. >> stephen: you were one of the first guys to go offer donald trump and call him like a blowhard, or something like that. >> i think there's-- all kidding aside-- i think there's a certain seriousness to leading a nation of 300 million. >> stephen: god, i hope so! ( laughter ). >> and i guess what concerns me is in the last debate, there was a discussion of the nuclear triad. that means that we have missiles by air, by land, and by sea. told us. >> exactly. ( laughter ) but the thing is, he seemed to that. scarier. mr. trump says, ," of course, we've got a nuclear triad and our biggest problem is we've been unwilling to use it enough." >> stephen: really? >> and, i mean, we're kind of

be made light of. the nuclear arsenal he's more eager to use. we have him and the big guy from new jersey. >> stephen: chris christie. he has a name, sir. he's not just-- he's not just-- >> but, anyway, he's eager to shoot down russian planes. >> stephen: you said that if you wanted somebody to start world war iii, you pointed at christie, and said, "here's your man." >> right. and i think that's the important part of these can debates is you want someone with judgment, someone with wisdom, and someone with restraint. and i worried. but interestingly, it's on both sides. hillary clinton wants a no-fly zone as well. she she wants regime change. and that's why i think the last debate was the best debate we had because we really had a discussion over is it really america's role in the world or should it be america's role in the world to choose who the leaders are in the countries in the middle east ands that worked in the past. >> stephen: one of the things that's interesting about you and

about your dad is you are sometimes hard to pin down along sort of dogmatic ideological lines. some things you have in common with the left and some things you have in common with the right because you're a libertarian-ish? libertarian-ish? >> that's because i don't want to be quite as good as my da. almost as good as my dad, libertarian-ish. >> stephen: he's libertarian and you're libertarian-ish. >> he's almost libertarian. >> stephen: for people out there, what is a libertarian? how are they different from a republican or democrat? >> in sort of general terms, republicans haven't been very good with your privacy or your personal liberty. but democrats haven't been very good with your economic liberty. they want all kind of rules on marketplace. on the republican side, they have a government that wants to collect your phone records, be involved with what you do in your home. what? we want to leave you the hell

it's your business or your private life. ( applause ). >> stephen: is there anybody-- do you have anything in common with bernie sand jeers yes, we work in the same place. >> stephen: yes. >> no, sometimes we do. i think that people on the left, ron wyden i worked with in the senate. he would call himself i think a progressive democrat. he worked on the n.s.a. reform, trying to end the bulk collection of all our phone records, trying to bring the troops home from afghanistan and trying to have a less interventionist or more realistic foreign policy -- reform. >> you're not going to talk about pot are you? >> stephen: are you a cop? because if you're a cop, you have to tell me you're a cop or this is entrapment. >> i thought we said before we would not talk about pot, stephen. >> stephen: you tried on sell me pot backstage. >> no. that was -- >> i'm sorry, you tried to sell me on the idea of changing sentencing guidelines for pot. i should have said the entire sentence.

tell you what, please come again, and we won't talk about pot. >> okay. >> stephen: senator paul. it's a pleasure. senator rand paul, everybody. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) hi, i'd like to make a dep-- scanner: rescan item. rescan, rescan. rescan item. vo: it happens so often you almost get used to it. phone voice: main menu representative. representative. representative. vo: which is why being put first... relax, we got this. vo: ...takes some getting used to. join the nation. nationwide is on your side representative. boom. told ya. hey know it alls, you're welcome. now that t-mobile has double the lte coverage you can prove you're right to more people in more places. faulty fuel injector you showed him huh, still alive.

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fresh off of two grammy nominations. here to sing, "rise up," from the album, "cheers to the fall." please welcome andra day! you're broken down and tired of living life on a merry-go- round and you can't find the fighter but i see it in you so we gonna walk it out and move mountains

and move mountains and i'll rise up i'll rise like the day i'll rise up i'll rise unafraid i'll rise up and i'll do it a thousand times again for you for you for you for you when the silence isn't quiet and it feels like it's getting hard to breathe and i know you feel like dying but i promise we'll

and move mountains we gonna walk it out and move mountains and i'll rise up i'll rise like the day i'll rise up i'll rise unafraid i'll rise up and i'll do it a thousand times again for you for you for you for you all we need, all we need is hope and for that we have each other

other and we will rise we will rise we'll rise, ohh ohhh we'll rise i'll rise up rise like the day i'll rise up in spite of the ache i will rise a thousands times again and we'll rise up rise like the waves we'll rise up in spite of the ache we'll rise up and we'll do it a thousands times again

for you for you for you we will rise. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you. "cheers to the fall" is out now!

everybody.,,,,,,,,,, late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be damian lewis, america ferrera, and a performance by floyd little's double-dutch team. now stay tuned for james corden! goodnight! are you ready

fun about to set you right it's the "late, late show." >> ladies and gentlemen, all the way from libbey, montana, give it up for your host, the one, the only james corden{"m! (cheers andyxr applause)b(cheers and applause). (cheers and applause). >> james: thank you so much. ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being here. of course the big news today is that north korea has claims that they have successfully detonated a hydrogen bomb.

clapping, reg, it's not-- (laughter). >> james: it's not a clapping scenario. it's a hydrogen bomb. it is a thousand times more powerful than anatomic bomb. and the timing could not be worse. it's right after i booked my family vacation to north korea. (laughter) but i 3 korea is justtrying to scare us. and you know what, we willbe terrorized, okay. because in thisobasically)7a out, maxin', relaxin', alln;w right. and step one toorder yourself the number one best seller on amy16ym and i'm not making this up, this craze isxgji-i the nation. it's adult coloring`a' books. (laughter) >> 29 year old new yorkblogger spends her days reviewing lipsticks#q\i1 polish. in her free time she has discovered a different kind ofoh)

>> fordit's right on trend. >> it takes you back to childhood but on a grownup level. you feel like you can do it with a glass of wine instead of a glafs milk. >> james: i knew there waswb reason why kim jungun is so stressed out. not enough coloring books. but the woman in that video while drinking a glass of wine alone in her apartment. (laughter) i mean, it took us about a hundred years but we finally have a new definition for the word "single." (laughter) i mean this is going to be fun though because now when people come over for dinner and5lpoint at the fridge and they're like a-w, that is adorable,your son do that? i can make things really weird by sa

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the newsroom. were they like, "david, north korea's got a hydrogen bomb, get on it. allison, you've gothe obama speech. and, kyle, some guy is going to draw a butt every day this year. catch him before he gets to butt six." the truth is all of these like nothing compared to what one los angeles based company has come up with. >> we believe that we truly can elevate small aspects of life. we believe that we can increase efficiency in our down time. no tricks, no gimmity-- gimmicks, focused on one thing. and we do one thing the best that we can possibly do it. we make hoods become pillows. completely real video. we did not-- dhash is completely real. i mean finally an answer to a

man who sleeps at the park? i got to tell you, i think this is going to be a tough product to take off. because you know, we have to compete with other products that help you sleep such as a bad and you know, night time. i mean they say dress for the job you want. and this is perfect if the job you want is no job. so you know, sure, north korea, you can build your hydrogen bomb because we have adult coloring books, inflatable pillow hoodies, our butt drawings. and that is why i am proud to be an american. god bless and god blees these united states of america. do we want to see who is on the show tonight. in the blue room, he is an acting legend, you know from

new york quks," silkwood "an tarantino brilliant" the hateful eight "we are so excited to have him on the show, mr. kurt russell. (cheers and applause) hey, kurt. >> man, how are you doing? >> are you well? >> i'm just waiting for you to tell me to come out. >> james: i will. i lo love that you are so powerful. you don't even open your own door. that's when you know you have made t right, reg, that is when you know have done it. >> you have really nice dressing rooms, i got to say. >> james: we made it nice for you, mr. russell. >> look at the food. >> james: he is wearing unbelievable shoes. i have to tell you. get a zoom in, get closer on these shoes. >> do you like these? >> james: look at that. that is when you know-- from head to toe, kurt russell, and we love him. thank you for being here, kurt russell. (cheers and applause). >> james: and in the orange room, ladies and gentlemen, he

you know frim from "there will be blood." is he incredible in "love of mercy" you are about to see him in "war and peace," the brilliant mr. paul dano is here tonight. (cheers and applause) hey, paul. how are you? >> i'm good. >> james: i love that. paul actually brought that mug with him from when the last time he was on the show. he is never without it, that's right, right? >> that's right. i travel with it every whereness he just gets more handsome, dunts he he gets more handsome every day, i'm so excited to see him at 456789 thank you for being here, paul dano, everybody. (cheers and applause). >> james: beautiful face. beautiful face. good head of hair. trusting eyes and a good embrace when you meet him that is why we love him. and ladies and gentlemen, this is exciting. because in the purple room tonight, is he a former nasa scientist whose work was powering every day electronics

your fridge, has earned him the lew allen award for excellence, is he going to revolutionize the way we power our homes, please welcome the science wiz that is gilles grimandi is here tonight. (cheers and applause) hey, gilles. >> hey, james. sorry, caught me in the middle of shaving. >> james: no way, are you not powering that by a canteloupe. >> this is a run of the mill canteloupe. i'm going to show you how you can use any day food items to shave hundreds of dollars offer your electric illinois bill. no pun intended. >> james: so much-- . >> james: so much fun, gilles grimandi. shall we get started. he's reggie watts, i'm james corden, and this, this is the "late, late show".

the late, late show, oh, oh the late, late show, ooh the late, late show, oh, oh the late, late show oh, oh the late, late show >> james: i was going to take a drink, there is nothing-- have i no-- (laughter) it was like oh, there's nothing in there. okay, have i to take this off. i have to take this off, right? oh, do you want to see a magic trick? (cheers and applause). >> james: i will show you a magic trick. can i do that, right? okay. a bottle of water. okay. so look at this, right, regular bottle, just pour a bit on my hand there like that, okay. regular water. so watch this, okay? watch this. all right, okay. okay. (laughter)

hang on. watch, ready? (cheers and applause) i can show you something only for-- i can show you something else. i need like something sharp like a tooth pick or-- any of these-- paper-- hang on, let me just. there we go. tooth pick and-- (cheers and applause). >> james: okay. watch this. okay, ready? don't believe this is real? watch. okay. here we go, ready? (cheers and applause) and then one, two, three, you break the spell. stick around.

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(cheers and applause). >> james: welcome back. the golden globe thses weekend and as you know a lot of films are made here in hollywood, some of them good and some of them down right awful. so with that in mind we thought we would test out audience's knowledge of the not so silver screen in a bit that we call "fake or flop" fake or flop >> james: the way it works t is simple. i am going to describe to the audience the plot of a movie and i am a also going to show a poster based on what audience member vses seen and heard, they must decide whether the film is something that we have made up, a fake, or is a genuine movie that was a flop, okay. so who thinks they know their movies?

>> james: come on, hang on, hang on. i'm going to come down here so you can choose, do you want the axe or the crutch. >> crutch. >> james: then get ready to drink in, there it is. coming down. coming down. no, no that is naughty. my personal space. so all right. okay. what is your name. >> david. >> james: where are you from. county. >> thank you. terrible. >> it took me two hour-- hour and a half to get up here from orange county. i wanted to see kurt russell cuz-- -- i wanted to say james corden.

everyone says we look like-- . >> kurt russell. >> james: everyone? everyone? >> two people. >> james: everyone says it? >> two people. >> james: two people have said t you know what that means. >> i look like you more. >> james: you don't really look like kurt russell. >> okay. >> james: but let's see if you do-- don't say a-w like have i let him down. i haven't just fired him. he just doesn't look like kurt russell. get over it you know. listen, there say man here who looks like a fat matt damon. this movie is called "theodore rex" okay, there is the poster. in this 1995 film whoopi goldberg stars as a police detective who lives in a future statistics world where dinosaurs coexist with humans. however she is not too thrilled when she is teamed up with goofy dinosaur partner theodore rex. what do you think. is it a fake or a flop? >> i would say a flop. >> james: you think it's a flop.

>> james: are you absolutely right. you know your movies. (cheers and applause) it is a flop. and i can tell you, interestingly enough though, whoopi goldberg has gone on to work with another famous dinosaur. (applause) get over it. thank you for playing. well done. all right, anyone else want to play? okay. how are you? >> i'm so good right now. >> james: you're so good right now. >> i'm such a big fan of yours. (laughter) you mean you are here despite the fact that are throo actual legitimate movie stars here. >> yes. i mean i'm a fan of kurt russell. >> reggie: you love paul dano but you love me more. thank you. (cheers and applause) >> okay. >> james: all right. this next film is called "helen back" here is the poster just there. so helen back is a 2001 action movie starring steve enseagal

when pet store owner and martial ards expert michael lazarus' wife hell sen skid napped by the devil, he must embark on a mission to helen back to-- to hell and back to get helen back. is it fraik or is it a flop. what do you think? >> i'm going to go flop. >> james: you're going to go flop. >> actually, hold on. i am going to go fake, fake. >> james: what made you change your mind. >> i don't, at first i was like it could just be a really horrible movie. but then-- . >> james: it has got steve enseagal in it, so that is possible. >> i'm pret eye-- pretty sure, not completely sure, that it is a fake. >> james: let's find out. are you absolutely right stvment a fake! (applause). >> james: steven seagal we know does not make flop movies. okay, let's play one more.

come here. how are you, boss. >> good, good, big fan. >> james: big fan, yeah. i love that you actually did a big. yes! >> very excited. >> james: very excited to you have here what is your name. >> alex. >> james: are where are you from. >> indianapolis, very far from here. >> james: couldn't figure it out of a map. now so you haven't come here just to see the show. >> no, i did-- i came here just to see the show. >> james: shut the front door. >> yeah, i did. (cheers and applause) (cheers and applause) >> it feels good. >> james: i don't know what it

i think that's enough. >> james: i don't know what it is, but i can't quit. all right, let's have a look at this movie. this is the final film. okay, so i believe we saved the best till last. this is a movie called the gingerdead man, all right. there is the poster. this is a 2-- 2005 horror film stars gary busey as a psychotic killer sent to the electric chair but when his ashes are mixed in a secret ginger bread cookie recipe, a terrifying ginger bread man comes to life with the soul of a convicted killer. do you think it's real, is it a fake or a flop? >> a movie with that good of a plot cannot be a flop. so i'm going to say it's fake. flop. it is a real movie. don't believe me, take a look at the trailer. >> run, run, as fast as you can.

gingerdead man.