yes, that's chance. >> stephen: all right. that's chance. that's our little puppy, we rescued him. my mom -- >> stephen: what's her name. kim. asian. she put coberto. colberto. >> yeah, colberto here. so... you're happy... for... the... engagement... >> no! (laughter) >> stephen: and send. there you go. >> no!

you to talk to her again. >> no, i don't want to talk to my mom. no. >> stephen: you are known as one of -- a cool person, not just a person who's funny. you're kind of cool because you're also like a funny person who's also an attractive woman, who's also a geek. you do have a geek reputation, right? >> i like geeky things. >> stephen: you geek out on something? >> you and i have something in common, lord of the rings. >> stephen: you geek out on lord of the rings? >> i was wanting to have a little conversation and see who was the bigger lord of the rings fan. i have a little game. i think we should both quote our favorite excerpts from the lord of the rings in one of the books and see who does it better. you should go first. (laughter) >> stephen: well there's some. gauntlet. >> stephen: come into my

let me see what i can think of. this is what frodo says the first time he sees goldberry, oh slender as a willow wand, oh clearer than clearer water, oh read by the clear pool river daughter. spring team and went after, a winter on the water fall and the leaves laughter. (cheers and applause) i would definitely purelle your hands after this. >> that was beautiful. >> stephen: your turn. hit it. >> i'm sorry. lord of the rings. that's when all the boys go into the mountain? (laughter) i know, i was thinking goonies. so i -- i'm sorry. >> stephen: very similar.

now, in "ride along 2" you play a bad-ass and kick a little ass in this movie. >> yes, supposed to. >> stephen: i'm assuming you didn't just show up and start pumping punching people. i assume it's in the script. >> my character is a no nonsense cop. >> stephen:o nonsense cop would be fun. (laughter) >> it was great fun. i did two weeks gun training leading up to the movie so i would learn to be comfortable and confident with it,. >> stephen: accurately whip it out. >> and be safe because gun safety is really important. i shot this movie three months. it was the last day of shooting and the prop guy had to leave and we had a new guy come in and he knows it's our last day shooting, we were at day 90. he comes up to me like always and says here's your gun and i go to grab it and he says, no, no, no, no!

don't need you to wave it around, point it at people, don't point it at yourself or at me. holster your gun. when you're ready to use it, take it out. then holster it. then give it back to me, all right? and it's, like, the last day. i know what i'm doing with a gun. i said, you're going to tell everybody what you told me? he said, yeah, safety. i said, did you tell ice cube that just now? and he was, like, yeah, yeah. i went, really? one second. hey, cube. did the new prop guy just come up to you and say, don't go waiting waiving the gun around like this and don't go pointing at people, don't point it at yourself? and he looked at me and said, no. i said, that's what i thought, we're done. >> stephen: did you kick his ass?

fired but it didn't matter. >> stephen: now you are a superhero. >> you have to many pictures. >> stephen: i always keep a lot of pictures of olivia munn down here. but tonight it's handy (laughter) this is you, you will be kicking ass right there. >> yes, you like the x-men universe. >> stephen: i do. how do you think about the ladies have to get in outfits like this but guys get to wear clothing everywhere. >> i will say, being on the set, when the guys have to take off their shirt, there is more stress than for the girls. you have to lean out so you look tough and if you are bigger, no one will say anything because it's rude. but the guys have to be ripped and there is a need to be six-packs and they're always doing pushups and -- >> stephen: tell me about it. it's a lot of stress. >> it's a lot of stress for these guys. >> stephen: did you get super fit to play this part? >> i did.

if you watch the movies until the beginning of my fight scene, i lost 12 points. when i started i thought, i'm a relatable actress, i can eat whatever. i i was backstage eating a done the and saying i'm not a model, i'm an actress, i'm relatable. that's what i tell myself. i started six or seven hours a day doing martial arts and sword training. i lost 12-pound. i feel very strong and it's an awesome feeling. >> stephen: i would not wave a gun at you. >> don't go waving your gun like this! >> stephen: olivia, thanks for being here. >> thanks so much, i love it! >> stephen: olivia munn! "ride along 2" opens nationwide tomorrow.

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,,,,,, (band playing) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back, let's hear it for jon batiste and "stay human." jon, you sound terrific on that piano tonight. >> jon: thank you, stephen. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: you know, i've often thought that if i could play any musical instrument, i would. >> jon: what if i told you i could teach you to play piano in nine easy steps? >> stephen: i'd say, whaaaa?! i'd love to see that.

batiste. welcome to piano 10-fun. today i'm going to teach you to play piano or flow-melodica. one, identifying of piano. piano has 88 keys, 52 white and 36 black. if your piano has six strings, that's a guitar, my friend. name your instrument! every piano is unique, so be sure to give yours a special name. i call mine steinway & sons. i can't stress this enough -- you've got to keep your piano clean. so before you sit down to play, wash your hands, floss your teeth, vacuum the floor, and pick up one bag of trash from the beach, it's a good cause.

a, b, d, this one, and of course there is this one flat. that's all the notes on the piano. five -- you will never be a complete pianist until you've mastered the bench. half your performances take place from the waste down. look at all the masters, sir elton john -- they all have one thing in common, they were cooking with gas -- good at sitting. remember, it doesn't matter how well you play. take it for me, if you fall off that bench, whoo! that's all they're going to talk about. lesson 6, the pedals. to master the piano, you have to master the pedals. you play with your feet. there's the soft pedal, and

what that third pedal does, please do let me know. (honking) lesson seven, playing and fluidity. keep the ball in motion and get to the low post-. man, you're unstoppable. lesson 9. let's play piano. now that you've got the basics down, time to make some music. just take your fingers and do what i do. check it out. whoo!

and that's how you play piano. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thanks, jon! miller! (cheers and applause) sfx: rocket blasting off sfx: (countdown) 3, 2, 1 rocket huh.

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,,,,,,,, (band playing) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back. my next guest is a writer, actor, and comedian, and star of the show "silicon valley". this sunday he'll be hosting "the critic's choice awards". please welcome t.j. miller. (cheers and applause) >> i'm t. j. miller from the major motion picture "yogi bear" 3-d. >> stephen: a great movie. a great fill. >> stephen: who were you in that. >> ranger john. >> stephen: oh, yeah! the strongest character of the film.

>> i sort of overshadowed boo-boo. >> stephen: thanks for wearing the winged collar, too? so few of my guests come duded up. >> i was really nervous. you're my wife's favorite included. >> stephen: sounds like a lovely woman. what's your wife's name? contention. kate. >> stephen: hey, kate. comedian's show. >> stephen: everybody likes you. you're blowing up. you're the host of the critics choice award. >> i am. i'm blowing up. you may have a clip dr. . >> stephen: we do have a clip. hould we clip it up? >> stephen: this is you winning last year for "silicon valley."

so i ate a lot. thank you very much. i would say that the awards for the children because children are a tangible representation of achievement whereas aadults should settle for the president and admiration of their peers. but what do i know? i mean, i just play an arrogant blow hard that says whatever the (bleep) he wants to. >> stephen: did they stop you as you were leaving and say -- >> give the award back, come back next year. i believe the awards with for children. what did i say, the award is hollow, nothing to it, then i got a job from it to host the actual awards.

a foot in my mouth, right? egg on my face, right? (laughter) the old egg on the face bit! >> stephen: glad to have you. we're very excited. i'm excited that i have more than one suit! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: so you're telling me your wife doesn't like this in ?>> it not that she doesn't like it. she just hates it. >> stephen: (laughter) >> stephen: you worked on the "silicon valley" show. >> i did. >> stephen: do you want to talk or just drip for a while

>> let's drip for a second. >> stephen: let's drip for a second. rrr >> i have been on the road and i have been closing with a bit called skeleton hands, and if you don't mind, i'm just going to -- (laughter) thank you. so i have been closing with this bit on the road, standup, and it's called skeleton hands, and i was wondering if you wanted to do it with me. >> stephen: sure. i was told you had skeleton hands and i'm quiet during it? i close my eyes? >> you close your eyes and look towards america, all right. >> stephen: again, i have no idea what's going to happen. tell me wife i love her. >> this would be so weird if this is the way you died.

got a lot of egg on me. we'll try it like this. okay. close your eyes. now open them, and just trust me, stephen. >> stephen: open my eyes? yeah. stephen, this is one of the greatest moments of my life. i want you to know that. i -- (laughter) i guess in some case this really validates me as a comedian. god, look at this... (laughter) the 21st annual critics choice awards sunday on a amp e and lifetime! t. j. miller, everyone! we'll be right back! (cheers and applause) connection.

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,,,,,,,, >> stephen: and now, singing a song from his album, "i love you, honeybear." ladies and gentlemen, father john misty!

ancient holy wars dead religions, holocausts new regimes, old ideals that's now myth, that's now real original sin, genetic fate revolutions, spinning plates it's important to stay informed the commentary to comment on oh, and no one ever really knows you and life is brief so i've heard, but what's that gotta do with this black hole and me? oh... oh...

age-old gender roles infotainment, capital golden bowls and mercury bohemian nightmare, dust bowl chic this documentary's lost on me satirical news, free energy mobile lifestyle, loveless sex independence, happiness oh, and no one ever knows the real you and life is brief so i've heard, but what's that gotta do with this atom bomb and me? oh...

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gotta do with adam and eve? maybe love is just an economy based on resource scarcity what i fail to see is what that's gotta do with you and me oh... oh... oh... oh... oh... oh... (cheers and applause) father john misty, everybody! we'll be right bac southwest has officially been in denver for ten years. we couldn't be happier to be here or more excited about the years to come. to celebrate, we got you

because as everybody knows, the ten-year anniversary is the nonstop destination anniversary. thanks for ten amazing years, denver. what can we say? we like you back.

>> stephen: that's it for "the late show," everybody! tune in tomorrow when my guests will be -- from the international space station -- astronaut scott kelly, soccer astronaut scott kelly, soccer star abby wambach and comedian, maria bamford. stick around for james corden, everybody. are you

it's the "late, late show" . >> ladies and gentlemen, all the way from mak arthur park, new jersey, give it up for your host, the one, the only james corden! (cheers and applause) >> james: welcome to the "late, late show." thank you for staying up for us. thank you! wow, wild crowd town, loud crowd. thank you for being here, guy, ladies and gentlemen there was huge news in the race for the republican nomination today. because ted cruz just received

most respected political dynasty, the duck dynasty. (laughter) >> for president of the united states, is she or she godly, can he or she love us, finally can they kill a duck and put it if a pot and make a good duck gum bo. i looked at the candidates. ted cruz is my man. >> james: well, ted cruz, i have got to tell you, i think you have now lost the duck vote. like i know phil robertson claims that ted cruz is one of them. but he doesn't exactly look at home as a duck hunter. like look at this, look. like that's the face of a man who is worried the ducks might win. but i do love that ted cruz is trying to paint himself as i

like this is a man who went to harvard law school, right. it is extremely difficult to get into harvard law school. trust me, i know. i have seen both "legally blonds." i know. (cheers and applause) big legally blond audiencement now while ted cruz was out duck hunting, jeb bush has been trying to show he's a candidate of the future with a firm grasp on cutting edge technology. look at this video he made six months ago where he tells us his favorite thing. >> my phone, mackbook pro, baby. driverless car, can't wait, apple watch. >> james: he has certainly shown he can say the names of technological devices. but can he use them? because here is jeb bush

>> my watch can't be talking. i will call you back. that's the coolest thing in the world. (laughter). >> james: he has had it for six months. how did he just realize it takes phone calls? his new campaign slogan should be jeb bush, he's just like your dad. but the most concerning thing about that video is that he has had the watch for six months and that's the first time it's rung. as a presidential candidate, shouldn't he be getting more than one phone call every six months? (laughter) now the truth is, if you were running against ted cruz and jeb bush your best option right now would be just to do nothing and let these videos speak for themselves. unless, of course, you're donald trump. now take a look at how trump chose to open his campaign event

face the music come on boys take them down cuz donald trump to america great (cheers and applause). >> james: i mean it's horrific. donald trump says he wants to build a wall at the mexican border. he doesn't have to. just put them there. mexican-- would be like wow, we got-- and we just couldn't do it we couldn't past them. we couldn't do it you just know that during that there was a guy in the crowd with a camcorder like, that's my little girl up there. threatening to crush the enemies of freedom. like donald trump, he's always worried mexicans are stealing american jobs. like is one of the jobs they can steal donald trump's campaign

this may be the only man in fired. thank you, i appreciate that. should we look and see who our guests are on the show tonight? (cheers and applause). >> james: talented in the orange room, an emmy-award-winning actress who is about to reprice her role as agent skully on the highly anticipated the exks fiels, look how-- "the x-filess" look how excited reggie ises, you are a huge fan. >> reggie: it's the best. >> james: you can't wait. shall we meet her? >> reggie: okay. >> james: gillian anderson. hey, gillian, how are you? >> i'm good. >> james: what's that you are on there. >> chocolate. >> james: a little bit of chocolate. >> i'm all alone swrz no, you're not. >> eating chocolate. >> james: wow, you're like brigette jones. thank you for being here. we really-- go enjoy your chocolate.

>> james: gillian anderson, everybody. we love her. in the blue room we have, he is an actor, writer, director, producer, i'm going to say t entertainment mogul. the handsome and incredibly multitalented, mr. tyler perry is here tonight. >> who the hell is at the damn door? who the hell is at the damn door? (cheers and applause). >> james: how are you? >> i'm pretty good, i'm pretty good, how are you. >> james: i love this look you have gone for. >> thank you very much. >> james: doesn't he look great right now, ladies? (applause) look the that you look like you-- are in a bond movie. >> thank you, black bond is in town. >> james: he's coming up. the name is perry, tyler perry. perry. >> james: and now this is exciting because we have some

to love this band. aren't they, reg. one of our favorite bands. look, look at his facial. they are so good, the detroit duo and indy pop sensations, junior junior are here tonight. (cheers and applause) oh, look at this. this is exceptional. how are you, guys. >> great. >> james: we just caught you chilling out, sorry to barge in, just relaxing. >> just warming up, team spirlt. >> james: i love, that i love that, thank you for being here. junior junior, everybody. (cheers and applause). >> james: all right, reg, you ready to start. then we'll begin for he's reggie watts, i'm james corden and this, this is the "late, late show," roll the titles. captioning sponsored by cbs

(cheers and applause). >> james: that's a loud crowd tonight. thank you so much for being here, guys. we have had quite the incredible 24 hours here at the "late, late show." we premiered our adele carpool karaoke last night. (cheers and applause). >> james: honestly, the response to it has blown all of our minds. we were trending worldwide for hours. like in 24 hours, we have had like 10 million views on youtube. (cheers and applause) crazy, right? it's amazing. it's our fastest growing video we've ever had on the show. and thank you to everyone who watched it, everyone who shared it. we really appreciate it. and mostly, thanks to a little person called adele. want to thank her. now we've all seen those

where at the end it says side effects may include and then they list a long set of side effects. that is longer than the actual addvert. it turns out the side effects aren't just for drugs. there are side effects for everything in life. which brings us to this segment, this is side effects may include. >> side effects may include. >> james: okay. anyone here thinking of surfing the net? the 09see? yeah? you are thinking surfing the net in the '90s. well, if you are thinking of surfing the net in the '90s, you should know there are side effects and those side effects may include having this sound stuck in your head. (dial up mod em sound). >> james: we chose to play the short one. (laughter)

playing that and then going to break. another side effect to surfing the net in the '90s is waiting for someone to message you on aim where your screen name is xxsweetbabyjaims69xx. you think i'm joking. (applause) writing like this because you think it makes you look cool. (laughter) being convinced that you are going to go to jail for downloading music off of napster. and the final side effect to surfing the net in the '90s is actually going to jail for downloading music off of lime wire. (cheers and applause) what about realizing your parents were younger than you when they did everything. (laughter) if you are thinking of realizing that your parents were younger than you when they did everything, you should know that there are side effects and those

inability to understand how they had you at 25 when you are spending your 20s searching what your ex's like on instagram. (applause) freaking out after you realize there was no tinder and no bummable back then which means they met in person. worrying when you find out that they bought a house by your age and you just borrowed money from gary to buy a hoverboard. (applause) digging up photos of sthem in their 20s and realizing there were very few photos back then. starring at your own phone so packed with selfies you are motionless until your first tear hits the screen. and the final side effect of realizing your parents were younger than you when they did everything, is searching all your ex's likes on instagram. okay. anyone here thinking of going

(laughter) if you are thinking of going number two at work you should know that there are side effects and those side effects may include. feeling pure joy when you discover the rest room is empty. really settling into it. having your dreams shattered as someone enters the stall next to you. studying their shoes. yeah, that's your boss' shoes. thinking you should just wait it out. (laughter) waiting it out. (laughter) realizing they're also waiting it out. (laughter) (cheers and applause) waiting it out more. (laughter)

panicking because they're now finishing up too. and the final side effect of going number two at work is sharing an incredibly awkward smile with your boss at the sink. that was side effects may include. don't go anywhere.

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,,,, >> james: reggie watts, everybody. now we're going to play a new game. want to play a brand new game? (cheers and applause). >> james: we're going to play a bran new game where senior citizens describe-- something you want to say, reg, was that you? was that you? >> reggie: i was leaning on the button. >> james: what just happened? >> reggie: apparently-- ah, ah, ah >> james: what is that. >> reggie: it's from yesterday, i just didn't know it was still in here. >> james: wait, do it, do it. i will mime it. ah, ah, oh

ah, ah, oh ah, ah oh >> james: all right. now you want to play a new game. good. you guys saw that the oscar nominations came out today, big day, big day in the world of movies. (cheers and applause). >> james: well, now we're going to play a game where senior citizens describe a movie and you will try to guess what that movie is. this is senior citizens cinema. okay, here is how the game works, okay. we're going to watch a video of one of the adorable senior citizens that we met at the culver city senior center which is just a couple of miles away. and the seniors are going to describe a famous film and you have to guess which film they're describing. sounds pretty simple, right? yes. so who here thinks they know

any big movie buffs? (cheers and applause). >> james: who is a movie buff? you? yeah? you want to do it? okay. come here. you can't say yes and then look surprised when i pick you. you can't be going me, me, you, oh, that's weird. that's weird. what do you want to talk with me for. all i was doing was going me, talk to me. yeah, i will come to you, you weirdo. what is your name, sir. >> eric. >> james: how is it going? >> awesome. >> james: of course it is, look at you. >> yeah, i'm looking at you. >> james: i'm looking at you, it is almost, some would say we are looking at the same person. i mean long, look, look down here, look. we're basically brothers. (cheers and applause). >> yeah. >> james: okay, now our first senior, okay, this is francesca friday from fort worth, texas. francesca, tell us what happens in your movie. >> oh, he came out with a lot of makeup.

and then the ship,i think was sinking but i fell asleep and i'm not sure if it sunk or not because his makeup didn't melt. so he survived it all because he had good makeup. (laughter). >> james: now look, if francesca's clip didn't make total sense, we did tape this very late at night. it was, it was like 5 p.m so what do you think what movie do you think shetion's describing. >> i'm thinking makeup and i'm thinking the really crazy looking guy from pirates of the caribbean, you know -- the octopu s beard. >> james: do you know what, this is astonishing. >> it was pirates of the caribbean with johnny depp. >> that was the first thing i thought of. >> james: no way, well played, come on, bring him in here. that was amazing. have a seat. thank you so much.

who else would like to play? you? all right. okay. i will come to you, i will come to you. that's all right. drink it in, babe. >> lilly. >> james: where are you from? >> orange county. >> james: from orange county. do you have to do that when you say it. >> no no but that's what we are doing. >> yes. >> james: hello, sir, how are you. >> very well swrz what is your name. >> claus. >> james: nice to see you. >> nice to see you. >> james: good name, good accent. isn't it? >> yeah. >> james: claus, claus! >> yeah! >> james: claus. come here. is that what it was like growing up. >> my childhood. >> james: okay, so who shall-- was it really? okay. i feel like this trip we might be repairing something. all right.

>> james: what was your