captioned by the national captioning institute --www.ncicap.org-- >> welcome to "the journal." coming up this hour, germany is accused of being on european by the chairman of the euros on a group of nations. thousands protest after authorities announced the results of the presidential poll in haiti. people around that the world remember the shooting of john lennon. -- are around the world remember in the shooting of john lennon. deep differences of opinion are

rising on how countries in europe should work themselves out of the sovereign debt crisis. the president of the group strongly criticized germany for rejecting his proposal of bonds as a way of helping weaker countries raise money. he said that german government thinking was simplistic. berlin accused him of unsettling the market. >> the president has accused berlin of rejecting his proposal for studying it. he said that bonds would provide cheaper debt for countries with tight budget deficits. the german chancellor would like eu leaders to abandon the idea as they draw up a permit rescue them -- drop a permit rescue mechanism for the euro. >> we are working in a targeted a manner towards that which awaits us next friday.

my calm demeanor is my contribution to the process. >> fort angela merkel, the remarks by the euros on president art not helpful. this would keep groups from fixing their economies. -- for angela merkel, the remarks are not helpful. >> we asked if the most powerful member of the eu was becoming isolated on this issue in europe. >> it is beginning to look that way. the president is said to the end of his tether with the german caution. as europe's biggest paymaster, europe will carry the can that anything goes wrong. from the first day, there has been frustration with germany.

angela merkel's approach delayed agreement on a greek a bailout. this was seen by some to have actually triggered the crisis in dublin. then she wanted a treaty change. she effectively block to agreement on the euro bonds which some say would improve the situation regarding portugal, spain, and other countries. yes, germany is increasingly isolated but some of their supporters say that this is with good cause. they are the biggest paymaster and they have to tread carefully on every move because they can end up caring the biggest financial burden for any future bailout. >> with a germany undergoing pressure, we asked our correspondent if berlin was pushing its own interests at the expense of its european

partners. >> that might be one way of looking at this but certainly germany seems to be willing to fight in its own corner. we had the german spokesperson coming out and saying that germany is not engaging in on european activities -- un european activities. yes, germany is still committed to the euro. germany has qualms about eurobonds. have we have seen, germany is worried that there would only be a single interest rate across europe for europe rather than variable interest rates as applied at the moment which germany sees as a method of coaxing or encouraging the country's worst hit in the crisis to introduce severe austerity measures. germany worries that this would mean a rewrite of the european

treaty and the bonds might be rejected by german constitutional courts. there are growing fears that public opinion might not stomach this, the german vote is becoming jittery about the commitments made on their behalf. europe, how will they come up with a common approach at the upcoming brussels summit on all of this and this is an interesting question. >> riots has broken out in haiti after lived as a wrote -- after the results of the presidential were announced. some are accusing the ruling coalition of rigging the results. one person was shot and two others have been wounded in the protests. >> thousands of protesters and vented their anger from the streets of the capital, port-au- prince. most supported a popular singer

who came in third. results showed that he missed the runoff by less than 7000 votes. >> we want him for president. he was the first one who spoke about the cholera epidemic. we wanted even if we have to bring the country south to a standstill. >> his backers accused the governing party of rigging the vote so that its candidate would advance to a runoff. he warned of all-out war if the president's candidate make it into the second round. -- when he warned of an uproar. the u.s. embassy has called the vote in consistent with international observations. the official results picked the former first lady against the governing party candidate. the runoff will be in january. whoever emerges the winner will

face challenges. 1.5 million people remain homeless after the devastating earthquake last year. haiti has only received a fraction of the international aid pledged for reconstruction. >> in chile, more than 80 inmates have been killed in a fire in a prison in the capital of santiago. the blaze was deliberately started it during an early- morning fight between some of the prisoners. overcrowding might have contributed to the high loss of life. friends and relatives were waiting for news of their loved ones. hackers have launched a series of cyber attacks in apparent support of wikileaks. mastercard, which has blocked donations to the web site, was among those targeted. in the meantime, the australian government says it will provide julian assange with consular help following his arrest by british authorities.

julian assange, who is an australian citizen, denies the allegations of sexual misconduct. he is in the u.k. awaiting extradition. middle east peace process are in a state of crisis, says a palestinian leader mahmoud abbas. he has urged the european union in playing a bigger role in negotiations. the u.s.-brokered direct talks between israel and the palestinian organizations and these broke down over jewish settlement construction. the u.s. has decided to back off of a settlement moratorium as a way to begin talks. mahmoud abbas still says that they hope for a deal by next year. let's check in with steve to find out what all of this eurobond business is having on the market. >> the talk about the creation

of a eurobond is doing nothing for germany. the yield for the 10-year bond rose above 3% for the first time in nine months. a trader says it points to worry about germany joining other countries to create the so- called eurobond. germany's credit worthiness is the best in the rosellen now but this could change if they are bundled with other countries in the european bond. both sides of the atlantic were in focus on wednesday. we have this report from frankfurt. >> not so much the market -- and not so much the stock market but the market for government bonds moved into focus on wednesday. germany has to pay higher yields on its government bonds. the discussion of eurobonds is weighing on the credit worthiness. in the u.s., this is compromised by tax cuts.

the rating agency moving to question the top ratings that american government bonds are still getting. >> lots have a look at the market numbers starting with the blue chips in frankfurt. the dax index finished the day lower. in new york, the dow jones industrials are higher. the euro is trading at $1.3250. several european countries are introducing austerity measures which have been met with protest. workers in the czech republic have voiced their concerns about the government plan to reduce salaries by 10%. thousands of workers demonstrated in prague on wednesday. hospitals or on the open to emergency patients.

the government would like to implement the cuts to try to slow rising national debt. in a mood to create an even hand of dealing with the bad guys of the financial market, the commissioner has launched a campaign for a europe wide system of fines and punishment. manipulation changes from country to country. a uniform system of sanctions would make competition more fair. >> goldman sachs was fined over 20 million euros for not disclosing a u.s. investigation into 80 of its employees. in lithuania, the penalty would have been 150,000 euros. the european commission would like to change this. >> we allow member states to do this within their own societies but there is good reason for introducing some minimum standards so that standards are

efficient, proportional, and act as a deterrent. >> the high levels of a shadowy dealings on financial services markets must be fought more resolutely. violations should be punished and criminal court. the commission is planning tighter regulations to our improved financial market transparency. >> a transparency is the first prerequisite for responsibility. we wanted to know who is doing what and people in the markets to more actively participating should be willing to take responsibility for their actions. >> companies and experts have until february to submit their opinions on the initiatives. any new rules will take effect in 2012. >> a big win for the german coal industry. subsidies for coal mines can continue until 2018. that is four years longer than planned. the government in berlin has complained of the tosser

subsidies which would be too soon and result in massive job losses. 25,000 miners work in the five remaining mines. -- the government in berlin has complained of the subsidies which would be going down too quickly. european companies are preparing to harness the next generation of energy in sub-saharan africa. >> the technology to harness solar parity are desisted place like spain but it could be decades before african electricity towers european homes and factories. >> we are dealing with a lot of countries. we have to think about how we get the power from one to the other, how to get into the network, how to charge, so on. >> lack of know-how is also a problem in some african countries.

meeting the algerian president on wednesday, the german chancellor says the political will is there. >> this is still a dream right now but it can become a project to connect our two continents, europe and africa. >> projects like the desert -- are especially important for germany which is trying to reduce its dependence on fossil fuels. >> now some news from china. >> we have a first ever peace prize there. the confucius' peace prize will be handed out to the former taiwanese vice-president on thursday. that is the day before the imprisoned chinese dissident as honored as the winner of this year's nobel peace prize. a small group of legislators in hong kong protested against the continued imprisonment. the human rights campaigner is serving an 11-year sentence on subversion charges.

china condemned the choice of this year's laureate as an obscenity. torrential rains in southern spain have caused major flooding and many people have evacuated. one river has burst its banks and flooded a historic town center. much of the region of andalusia was put on high alert and more heavy rain is on its way. severe weather wheat have thick and portugal as well wear a powerful tornado destroyed as cool and caused major damage in the northeastern teacher -- in a northeastern town. fans have gathered in liverpool and in new york city for vigils marking the 30th anniversary of the murder of john lennon. in new york, people lit candles and sang songs in remembrance of the musician whose life was abruptly ended by a gunman bullet. >> it was a cold night when mark

chapman shot john lennon five times. he died almost instantly as news spread, thousands of fans gathered at the scene to mourn the musicians death. >> to open bracke♪ imagines alle ♪ >> 30 years later, this area still draws fans of his music. >> he lived in a time in which i was not born yet but is moving so touching. this is very emotional. >> his relationship with paul condi came to an acrimonious end when the beatles split in 1970.

he also continued to write and perform music. "we all sinon," sang john lennon in the song "instant karma." -- we all shine on. >> from the motorized coach too deep intelligent vehicle of the future, 125 years of automobiles and. money is his business, the man at the helm of deutsche bank. powerful, controversial.

this was once a sleeping village, now a jet set destination. >> when he opened the final round of climate change talks in mexico, the u.n. secretary general made an urgent appeal to government ministers to take serious steps to curb global warming. environmental activists hope that canker and will yield more concrete progress than the 2009 conference in copenhagen. even though a binding global pact is not in place, people across the planet are still moving towards renewal energy sources that provide economic savings and greater economic freedom. we look at some efforts made around the world toward energy independence.

>> the first of on our journey takes us to the philippine islands. the virgin forests that once covered -- were cut down to make way for sugar plantations. what was once a green land is just an enormous field. there has been enormous erosion. this woman is showing these tree nursery employees how to plant seedlings. the aim is to protect the environment. >> this area was covered with shrubs. we planted this area for the purpose of minimizing erosion. >> the residences are doing their bit as well, at least

those that have a watch and supply. for every cubic meter, they paid the equivalent of 2 cents to the tree cultivation project. this means more trees to store water in the ground and find co2. >> this is a big step towards selling climate change. -- slowing climate change. we now go to argentina. at 4,000 meters above sea level, even summer can get frosty. it is cold and locals have to heat a lot. they use this bush for fuel, a plant carrying vast areas of the region. the supply has dwindled. -- from germany is helping the local steel was scarce fuel supplies.

he works for an argentinian aid organization which is equipping the villagers with solar technology. it means that they can use the energy from the sun for cookie. >> this instrument measures direct sunlight over an extended amount of time and now we can determine how much co2 this solar cooker saves. >> this has led to the installation of even bigger solar power systems. these can heat homes as well as water economically. the solar system's are assembled locally and the parts are made domestically too. trying to capture the environmentally friendly energy is boosting a small amount of business as well. now we go to southern africa. this kingdom is one of the poorest countries in the world.

it has an informant a bessie's little rain and it is getting more dry. one thing in abundance is sunshine and is being put to good use. 40% of the population is hiv- positive and energy consumption has risen sharply due to the need to get medical supplies. >> we are very glad to hear this. we have been hearing this for two months now. we sometimes go without electricity. we are using this to taste hiv and -- test hiv and aids. the refrigerator is self was

from the town of man seen me. every year, the country produces 70,000 iceboxes. this was specially made for use in hot climates. this has a thick layer of insulation. if the sun fails, it can keep contents school for up to 70 hours without consuming energy. this is a clever solution for a country that has done little to affect climate change but has suffered greatly because of this. this is to the coastline of papua, new guinea. this is home to hundreds of aquatic species and a complex ecosystem. over half of the co2 produced by human activities of georgia are the world's oceans but that only happens in clean water. estimates suggest over 50 million tons of garbage are

dumped every year in our oceans. this is one of the places where it is washed up. -- is employed by an organization which is called the guardian of the sea. they also guide school kids and explain how important it is to remove the garbage from the bay. >> this is probably 70 or 80 years to break down. people throw their cigarettes into the sea. polska -- bottles, any time of bottles, 100 years. it might never be able to break down. >> this is one way to protect the environment. another is to prevent overfishing.

a fishing ban was introduced years ago and has produced positive results. the population has risen since 2005 and cool reef our pride thing again. -- coral reef populations are thriving again. this is one of the last true wilderness is in siberia. the forest here stores an enormous amount of co2 and is a major contributor to the climate protection. conservationists and locals have joined together to lease a part of the forest and this is off- limits to the tree sellers. >> these trees were cut down three months ago but that is not all, only local people can use this wood to build their homes.

>> the tree population has a big influence on the region's biodiversity. environmentalists and local people are aware that hunters and local companies will try to ply their trades in other areas of the force. their hope is that this will be declared a nature reserve. these are just five ways that people are around the globe are trying to save the climate. now it is up to politicians in canton to make their contributions. the experts agree, what has been agreed so far is not enough. can the politicians now achieve more? >> that has been our "in depth," for today. you can visit our website for

more information. that wraps up "the journal," at this hour. stay tuned.

>> divorce. american style. >> if you are married, the odds of getting divorced are about 50/50. if you are not married the odds of avoiding divorce are much better. if you heed the advice of this 600-dollar divorce lawyer. from love to marriage to who gets control of the baby carriage, our guest has practical advice for every stage of the contemporary relationship. what happens next when you are no longer willing to wait until death do us part. we ask beverly hills divorce attorney mark bereden

if. for such a small if i live to a hundred. if social security isn't enough. if my heart gets broken. if she says yes. we believe if should never hold you back. if should be managed with a plan that builds on what you already have. together we can create a personal safety net, a launching pad, for all those brilliant ifs in the middle of life. you can call on our expertise and get guarantees for the if in life. after all, we're metlife. >> congratulations on this book "what were you thinking?"

what does that mean? >> it is the question that all of your friends will ask to you after you have gone through a separation or divorce. what were you thinking? why did you marry whoever? >> what is the principle reason why people get divorced. >> they get married. >> without marriage there would be no divorce. >> without marriage there would be no divorce whatsoever. >> does that argue against marriage. >> it argues against immature marriage. i think marriage is a very sacred solemn vow that one takes and too many people take it too young and they do not take it seriously enough. >> gene simmons and shanon tweed have lived together for years. >> 21 years. >> you mention them in the book. >> i do. >> is it a salute to them? >> in a way it is. they have very unusual type of lifestyle. i don't think most people would be as toll rant with the

activities of gene that shannon is. >> do they have children. >> two children. >> they are happily united. >> they have the perfect home life. if you look at their house, they have a beautiful home, beautiful kids. they go bowling on saturday nights. it is not what you would expect from the rock star of kiss. >> marriage being the cause of divorce aside. no marriage, there would be no divorce. what is the other dominant reason why people get divorced. >> without a doubt cheating. adultery. people have propensity to engage in extra marital relationships. not only the men today, the women as well. >> this is what you say about what adulter ri. >> it is. >> a legal term and also a religious term. >> it is. >> a difference between one night fling and a relationship. whatever the indiscreption the perpetrator has to carry it

around with him or her and live with what they have done. moreover for most, if is enormous burden to carry, whether committed just once or multiple times. frequently following the extra marital encounter the offending spouse feels remorse and is contrite. then regrets that the encounter hurt their lover as well as their spouse. they really want to believe that the encounter may improve the marriage in a sense that he or she realizes i have been a real ignorant and from today forward i'm going to appreciate what i have for better, for worse. much of this process of reflection takes place in internal isolation because it cannot be shared with any win, especially your spouse except in the rarest of circumstances. adultery must be kept a secret. in my line of thinking, a secret can never be shared by more than two people.

as soon as a third party knows, the information is on the street. >> absolutely true. if i am offing an affair with another woman, and that other woman then goes and tells her best friend, the secret is out at that point. there is a more likely chance that the adultery is going to be discovered than if it is just kept between the two parties. not advocating adultery. that is a fact of life. >> you have a fewest says and some of those featured are gene simons and shannon tweed. g. jordan lidy. richard katz and larry king. this is what gene gordon lidy says. the temptation to cheat is very strong. the more successful and powerful a man becomes, the more typical

infidelity becomes. women are naturally attracted to wealth and power and will throw themselves to a man who has either. if takes some one with extraordinary self-control to deny them that temptation. if a man wants to cheat i would give him the same advice i was going to give a man that was temped to try heroin, don't do it. >> power is afro dees shee back. >> i would also tell that man don't think you will get away with it. women always know. once you break that bond of trust, it may be forgiven but never be forgotten. you will never get back what you once had. don't do it. gordon lidy. you believe all that? >> i believe what he is saying is absolutely correct. >> women have some power to detect? >> i know my wife in particular has that power to detect. i belt yours has it as well.

either one of us better be careful if we have such a notion. >> i know your wife very well. rose who is a brilliant make-up artist and has been with me for about 20 years. rose was the make-up artist for president clinton. she may still be. she made you up today. >> there we go. she hit the big time family. >> she improved on nature. this is really a season of tomorrow for -- tor meant for the person who has had a dull russ relationship. the adulterer is a very tormented person. is that true? >> of course they are. you are dealing with feelings you have towards your spouse, your lover. you don't know which way to turn. it is the ultimate guilt. if you do not have the gil it is antisocial-type of personality.

>> we are joined on a live line by pamela paul who is a distinguished writer and published a book called "foreign affied." also the author of "start matrimony." >> senator brown held hearings on the effect. pornography on the family and i was there to talk about the impact porn had on relationships, marriages and children. >> the subcommittee held an entire hearing on the subject of pornography and its availability and volume. can you speak to that? >> sure. it used to be even just 10 or 15 years ago in order to have access to porn you have to go down to seedy side of town and go to adult theater or go to a

news stand and buy a magazine and risk bumping in to your boss, wife. now that is available on the internet, satellite television, cell phones. ipod. no longer any barriers to entry. >> children seeking it out. >> children are looking at porn as long as toddlers. they tracked usage among young children of pornography. the average age is about 8 or 2 years old. >> was it the position of the subcommittee of the judiciary which includes brownback and specker and lindsay graham and teddy kennedy and diane feinstein and richard derbin. was it the position of the subcommittee that pornography leads to divorce. that it is virtual adultery. that it is anything in that order? >> certainly that is what we

were there to talk about and it wasn't just me but other expert witnesses who have seen a considerable in marital problems and divorce as a result of pornography, particularly porn on the internet. in 2003 the the american academy of matrimony lawyers, they noticed a startling trend which is that two-thirds of the laurs present had witnessed a sudden rise in divorces related to the internet and six in ten were a result of those was a spouse looking at excessive amounts of pornography on line. the president says 8 years ago porn played almost no role in divorces. today a significant number of cases in which it has a major role if not the decisive role of marriages breaking umm. when you talk to individual divorce lawyers across the

country. case after case. one lawyer in dallas says constantly a case in her practice of three lawyers that involves pornography. >> my experience is first of all how do you define what is excessive pornography. one, twice? i think you get in to a subjective area. no doubt whatsoever that people are looking at porn on the internet. when we talk about children looking at porn, if is the responsibility of the parents. i do not accept on any basis whatsoever that children are too sophisticated. they know how to get around this or that. they are more than ample programs available where you can get them off from looking at things. you can monitor your children on a real-time basis. it is the responsibility of the parent to govern the children in this instance. no question that the convenience of having an affair, of picking the type of girl, for that

matter, the type of guy, whatever you want is a push of the button. >> are you talking about addictive porn viewing. >> there are people that becoming compulsive about pornography use. there are people that use it excessively. a habit or addiction, a stool kol gist has to determine that. the bottom line the effect on the relationship is enormous. what might not seem like adultery or virtual adultery to a man often feels that way to a woman. if that is the reality of her experience in that marriage, then is going to cause a problem. >> you have to keep in mind, john, the idea of virtual adultery is completely hypothetical. it is not legal adultery. it does not meet the test of adultery. no one is getting a divorce on the grounds of having looked at something on the internet. >> i want to remark what mark was saying, which is that of

course it should be parents' responsibility to regulate their children's exposure to media of all kinds. what is scary today it usually is not enough. kids today can get a filters in their schools. it is -- they say it is a joke, what the schools do to prevent them from going to pornographic websites. libraries often do not have any filters. as a parent control access in their own homes. children's friends might not control it or they might not control their television. unfortunately there is only so enough parents can do. more and more parents are confronting the reality that look, their kids are going to come in to contact with this. what are they going to do about that? >> i got one quick question i want you to comment on. you distinguish between soft core and hard core and beyond hard core. >> it is interesting.

i think soft core pornography is increasingly part of regular mainstream media. defined out of existence. when you talk to men who use porn, they often don't consider playboy to even be pornography. for them it is all about the act of sex which used to be the definition for hard core. we defined pornography down and we go to more and more extreme forms and become increasingly mainstream. this is the direction we have been going in for ten years and the internet accelerated that process. >> you think the frequent and regular and large use of pornography is an indication as some one has said, i think in that testimony of a disconnect that is going on in the marriage? intimacy disconnect? >> absolutely. if a man is online looking at

porn, that is very isolating experience first of all to sit alone masturbating to your computer for hours on end. that is all about disconnection. he certainly is not with his wife or family talking or spending timing to or having sex with his wife. it creates distance in the relationship. of course you could say suppose he was watching hours and hours of t.v. yes, that is not spending time with his wife. you generally are not sitting there masturbating to the television, having this chemical process in his brain that goes along with masturbation. >> thanks very much pamela paul. larry king you pointed out here in that piece on him. you quote him as saying. i have been married six times but only been in love three time. the other three times i still don't know why i got married. i have loved only three women in

my life. >> i think in the last 20 years larry has only been married two times. >> he goes on to say. he makes the same point as was made earlier by lidy and others and you. a marriage can technically survive adultery but never the same afterwards. he get manage to the comments on what the qualities are in women that he likes. one of best qualities in a woman is genuineness. as george burns said, if you can fake that, you got it made. a sense of humor. the ability to keep balance. not too moody. even tempered yet mysterious. we all want a little mystery. as far as longevity in marriage, i do not have the answer to longevity in marriage. that is one i don't know. estimate i think i learned a lot about women in my life and sometimes i don't think i learned much at all.

my favorite quote is from stu convenient hawkins. the man writes through his teeth. he holds it in his mouth. he is in a wheelchair, can't talk or move. one of the most brilliant men the world has ever known. i had him on my show interviewing him. he was answering my questions on his machine. this is one of the smartest men in the entire world, astrophysics, big bang theory. you name it. i ask him what puzzles you the most? his answer. women. >> don't you agree? is there anything that would puzzle you more than women? >> i think they bring a separate set as men do in relation to them, a separate set of skills, of intellect, intellectual levels. >> intimidation. >> sensitivity.

you make the point here, men have no common sense. >> i have been told that. >> how do i know that for sure? my wife told me rose, whom we talked about earlier. told me, she tells me. so do her sisters and friends. when it comes on common sense, we men are cerebrally challenged. amazing how men of power and fame literally coward. given a raised eyebrow from their spouse. during the day these vir aisle men are running billion dollar corporations and playing super heroes on film and television. the moment they get home to their wives it is as if their spine was extracted in one fell stroke. >> what happens when you go home. >> what is the relationship between all of this and divorce? >> that is a sign of a healthy marriage. people getting their spine extracted when they end up going

home probably will end up staying married longer many a good relationship, respect and admiration for your spouse. one of biggest problems in terms of marriage -- you asked earlier, adultery being the cause. as soon as you hold the other spouse in contempt, as soon as you put yourself on a different level than they are on, suddenly, i think the marriage is doomed to failure. if you think you are better than your spouse, your marriage is doomed to failure. >> with regard to the decision to have children, your advice to remember is this. the decision to procreate, that decision will last a lifetime. do yourself a favor and spend a few years with the person you are considering parenting with before you embark on this life-long experience. you spend a lot of time dealing with custody, correct? >> i do. >> this is one of your insights from that.

you think that people have children who should not have had them, at least with the particular spouse they had them with. >> i think the relationship was already immature and adding the child to the overall situation only compounds that immaturity. all it does is create an innocent victim or victims being the children. children are beautiful things and a precious experience that all of us really enjoy. when you put the children in the middle of a horrible divorce and make them go through that whole experience, unfair not only to yourself but to the children as well. >> it happened to you. >> it did happen to me. luckily mine was not as horrible because of an ability to get along. i still remember as one of the worst experiences of my own divorce telling my four-year-old son about it and him covering his ears and running out of the room. that is an image i will never

forget. >> what's the formula for a marriage of duration and at least periods of bliss? >> i think the biggest thing you can do is respect the other person. second biggest thing is you need to learn how to let things slide. don't think that everything is said in a derogatory manner, that is offensive. you got to learn when to engage and not to engage. learn what fights to pick and what fights not to pick. most fights, you don't need to fight about them. in the grand scheme of life it does not mean anything. who is going to what on any given weekend, night or weekday. things that matter are the eth acall issues, religious values. those are things that are

important. character. you stick with those and there is a solid base for those, then your marriage should last. >> words to live by. >> i hope so. >> pamela paul said she does not expect to film any books in the divorce season. >> i think divorce and books about pornography are big sellers during the holiday season. especially divorce. that is the time we are sitting around the tree with the family and after we are done sitting around the tree we are in disgust. by january you said i will not spend another christmas together with that woman or man. >> just to raise the level of conversation to something that is so distressing. this is one are your insightful writers. >> go ner from love boat. >> i would define love the same way john lenon would define life.

lenon says life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. to me love is what happens while you are planning other engagements. work, career. to me love is what distills down and holds two people together. love is one of those few things that allow two people to be together for a long time and remain close even if they are not terribly compatible. if you are thinking seriously about marrying some one, rather than necessarily living together or acting out the marriage, go right to the trial separation first. see what your life is like without one another after you had a close bond. see if you can survive that. then perhaps that becomes unbearable. you have learned something about what your commit many towards one another might be. >> i think it is a brilliant idea. fred, a lot of people don't realize is a magna kum ladder

graduate from harvard university. he went through one of the most painful nasty divorces in his life. while he was out cruising the love beau hehe was in the middle of a terrible divorce. i think his advice is very wise. >> your book is complete with all kinds of detail on all aspects of divorce to the lawyers to the judges. while you have a very strong judgment against adultery, and you have very strong judgment on -- favorably of course, you examount -- exalt love and the love of marriage, you nevertheless give advice to those who might want to take alternate views. you say do not use credit or debit cards to pay for affairs

or use cameras with your paramours. phone records tell a story. use a land line or pay phone. the grass is almost never green on the other side. the passion of sex always changes over time. what is exciting with your lover will eventually become quote, unquote the same old thing. if you commit adultery assume you will be caught and be prepared to accept the consequences. you say it is impossible to conceal an adulterous relationship. >> i think everyone gets caught. >> you go on to talk about the role of the computer. computer are as wonderful they are, are dangerous. if you consider illicit relationship the computer is the wrong means by which to pursue it. store bought calling cards is far more preferable to land line or cell phone calls. phone records are easily traceable. viewing internet pornography. thinking about doing something,

you might be on investigative candid camera. you say all files, all computers and cell phones. cell phone records are easy to obtain. >> easy. >> you have private investigators who have been in your employ. >> of course. you have to send a subpoena or verizon or t. mobile and get every phone call you ever made or received. >> you serve a subpoena upon the custodian of records. ii will use verizon as an exampe and i get all of john mclaughlin's phone bills. i can see all the calls you made, when you made them and to whom. >> are there more adulterous men or women. >> i think there is more men. i think the women are fast on the rise. they are coming out of the closet. this whole desperate housewife type of mentality. women commit adultery. women have affairs. no doubt about it. >> thanks so much for being my guest.

>> thank you for having me. >> be well. >> and you. b