ding to want it all and always be finding enough. there's a jewish practice done at every passover seder, which is the most important passover meal, called dayenu. dayenu is a hebrew word that means, "it would have been enough." and dayenu is a song meditation. it's the most popular song at the seder, and it works this way. there are 15 verses and each verse is a different stage in the journey the israelites made from being slaves in egypt to being free in the promised land. and after each verse is said, everyone yells out "dayenu." in fact, say the word "dayenu." dayenu. now dayenu doesn't only have to be a passover practice. i use dayenu as a daily practice, a kind of marinade for my consciousness. it works this way.

if i got up early in the morning to see my beautiful children peacefully sleeping, but my car broke down and i didn't make my meeting... dayenu. if a friend called who i hadn't spoken to in more than a decade and i reconnected to him, but that deal that i was working on fell through... dayenu. if that deal came through, but i didn't get those tickets to the stones concert that i really wanted... dayenu. you see, our life journey is made up of an infinite number of finite steps. and the only question really is how many times along the way in every day are we able to say dayenu-- "i want it all and i found enough"? now the embodiment in my life

of this understanding of dayenu is my father-in-law, jules, who really has been a father to me. a little more than a year ago, jules was diagnosed with cancer. it was three months before his oldest granddaughter's wedding. and it was not clear whetherwed. he had very serious surgery to go through. and we were all devastated. i mean, dana and i would lay in bed at night and we'd talk about how much we love him, we'd cry, we'd pray that at least he'd be able to make the wedding. now jules is the strongest, most optimistic, most positive person i have ever met. and so of course, he made the wedding. and the wedding was so wonderful. every moment and every detail in that wedding,

every single one, was made more important by his presence. and even though he was pale and visibly thin under the smartest-looking tuxedo, he beamed with pride and delight. now jules is the most magical dancer. and as i watched him dance with the women in his life, i just cried. and i realized that all of us were feeling two things, most modeled by jules himself. that jules made the wedding was absolutely enough-- dayenu. and yet we wanted it all. we wanted him to be completely cured. it was both enough and not enough. and holding both those things together,

being fully grateful that he was at this wedding and fully longing to have it all, that he would be cured completely, actually was truer to the human experience, and it gave us not, not some light kind of happiness, but this exquisite, deep happiness. and i am so happy and so proud that jules is here in this room enriching this experience for me and for all of us. and i'd like him to rise. ( applause ) i'm not talking about being grateful for little things. i'm talking about being able to appreciate the fullness of the partial. now what makes dayenu and the yearning for happiness so complicated today is we have so much choice and abundance.

the fact is, americans are twice as rich today as they were in the 1950s. and on every single study, they don't score out any happier. you see, deep down we know that getting more, at least at a certain point, doesn't really make us any happier, because you can never get enough of what you don't really need. ( audience chuckles ) ( applause ) the yearning for happiness that remains even after we have everything we need points to a different level of happiness that every single wisdom tradition on this planet invites us to consider. and that is, behind every yearning for happiness is the yearning to give happiness. you see, genuine happiness doesn't come from getting.

it comes from giving. and the paradox is the only way we could know we're really full is by giving something away and serving someone else. the danish philosopher kierkegaard put it this way-- the door to happiness always opens outward. in other words, genuine happiness is attained not because of some leap into mystical oneness. genuine happiness is attained because we have a leap of empathy and service to others. now i learned this most powerfully from two remarkable teachers from ethiopia. i was visiting ethiopian immigrants in israel. it was a cold february day and i was walking around, and i saw two ten-year-old boys standing off to the side. they were shivering and they were rubbing their hands. they were cold. and i went over to them and i offered them my gloves. they hesitated, but then one of the boys took the gloves,

put them on his hands, held up his hands and just began to laugh hysterically. he had never seen this second set of hands that were warm and scratchy. ( chuckling ) and he motioned to me, figuring surely i must have more extra hands. when it was clear that i wasn't the glove man, he immediately took one glove off, put it on his friend, and they both held up their one gloved hand and they just laughed with a kind of pure joy. now what was so amazing is this young ten-year-old boy felt so full that he immediately took one glove off and gave it to his friend, and he actually felt happier. and i, who had no gloves, i am sure i was even happier. what this young teacher understood is an ultimate truth. we receive in order to give.

and our desire for happiness is actually a desire to give happiness. and here's the ultimate insight: what we give away can never be taken away from us. i want to finish with a story about talia. talia is my younger daughter. and this story captures the message of this program. and not only that, but i promised i'd tell a story about her. ( audience chuckles ) talia's a precocious 14 year old, but she has this disease that many teenagers have. she is incapable of keeping her room clean. ( audience chuckles ) well, it was really out of hand. dana was at her wits end on this one particular day, and she called me over to just look at the room, to make sure she wasn't going crazy. she wasn't. every single thing talia owned was everywhere but where it belonged.

and as we stood there just shaking our heads... i don't know, i heard myself saying, "wow, just like talia-- so full of life. her cup runneth over." ( chuckling ) dana and i stood in that messy space-- and i mean literally, teenage messy space-- not being judgmental, but just judging-- there was so much to discover about who talia was. each object had meaning. we learned so much about talia. there was her dress that she wore to that first serious party with boys. there were those earrings that she got for her special 13th birthday and remembered that. all those books that were all over reminded us how bright she is and what an avid reader.

and that diary left open reminded us of what a trusting and open spirit she has. you see, resting in the messiness actually became a source of so much more meaning than being freaked out by that messiness. and in many ways, that's the message of this program. everyone here and everyone watching, we all have yearnings, yearnings for love and yearnings for happiness and yearnings for meaning and for self-awareness. and in our life's journey to satisfy those yearnings, we always find ourself in a space between our imagined satisfaction of those yearnings and our actual fulfillment of them. but there is so much fullness in that messy space.

there is so much life-generating energy to that messiness. you see, we can become the masters of our yearnings by choosing to embrace the sacred messiness as an invitation-- an invitation to discover more about ourselves, an invitation to love more deeply and genuinely, an invitation to be more profoundly happy than we ever could have imagined. so i want you to think about the many rooms in your own life. think about where they're the most messy. and don't be afraid. and don't clean them up too quickly. embrace the sacred messiness of life, because that messiness is really a treasure box of bliss. thank you very much. ( applause )

captioning sponsored by jewish television network captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org in this segment, i spoke about this deep yearning we have for happiness. and there is a chapter in the book, which you can get for a $90 commitment to public television, there is a chapter in the book called "giving and receiving," if we want genuine happiness, there has to be a dance between giving and receiving. you know, when we watch public television, we receive. we receive all the amazing programming, whether we're children or whether we're adults, whether we're old or whether we're young, whether we're men or whether we're women, whether we love music, whether we love the news, we receive. but if we want the pleasure and the happiness to last and to endure, we actually have to give. we have to make that pledge, because the dance between giving and receiving

is specifically what allows for enduring happiness. and i love the word "pledge," because "pledge" means that there's really a trust, there's really a commitment between public television and public television viewers. and that is so different than other media. you know, this is the media that says, "this community out there, we're all a part of this community. and we're all trying to build a better society." and to the extent that we actually make the decision to make a pledge, we're making a promise, too, that we're not just going to be viewers and we're not just going to sit back, but we're going to be active in changing this world. that's right. so much is accomplished and so much is said in a simple act of calling in your financial support to this station. and this break is all about reminding you how important those calls are. you know, i think we should remind our viewers, in fact, right now, about the thank you gifts. because we do have the hidden wisdom collection, and that can be yours at the $250 level, and the includes the book you just mentioned,

also the brand-new hidden wisdom newsletter that comes out four issues annually, also you receive the dvd of this program, and that is exclusive to public television-- you can't get that anywhere else except by giving us a call here-- and also the new dvd, uh, looking... "time for a new god." that's just amazing, all that. you know, one of the things that we were thinking about when we put together the hidden wisdom collection was that it would actually, uh, take all the senses-- you know we learn in different ways. some of us learn through reading and words and that's the newsletter and the book. and some of us learn better through images and that's using "time for a new god," the film and the dvd. and that's also part of what public television is aware of. we have to kind of, if we're really going to grow and we're going to develop, all of our senses need to be touched. and whether you love music or whether you love science or whether you love nature or adventure, all of your senses and all of the different modalities are informed by public television.

i think i learn from reading, because i know i have this book and i love it and i got so much out of it and you are going to, too. and at $250, i mean, it is a generous pledge of support, but, actually, what does that come out to? you know what i was thinking? i was thinking $250 is one dollar a day during the week and you have the weekend off, and that's $250, you know. actually, there's an amazing mystical tradition that the number 18 means life, so if you give a multiple of 18, you know $90 is a multiple of 18. really? and you actually have a lot of life. now the $250, what we really have to do, is you have to give $252, because that's 14 times life, which means you'll have life 14 times and get to be part of the community. it's a huge affirmation. i love that, that's wonderful. and what a wonderful way to become a member, maybe for the first time, of this public television station. you know, if you make that pledge today, you are going to remember years from now, the show on which you made that first call of support to this station.

hi. i'm cathy corday. i hope you're enjoying the program and that this dialogue about our many selves and our quest for yearning and embracing the messiness of life is resonating with you. please call now with your support of public television. please call the number on your screen. when you do, we have many ways of saying thank you for your support. beginning at the $60 level, we have the yearnings newsletter. it's six pages, published four times annually and it contains additional writings on yearnings and the daily practices from irwin kula. we also have, at the $90 level, yearnings: embracing the sacred messiness of everyday life. it's a hardcover volume. it contains seven chapters and this book merges ancient jewish wisdom with contemporary insights, intimate stories to offer practical perspectives on everyday problems. at the $120 level, we have for you the hidden wisdom of our yearnings with irwin kula dvd. it is a dvd of the program that you've been watching and it includes approximately 20-minute bonus footage of yearning for forgiveness and of course, this is a segment where he helps you

to achieve the forgiveness that we all do yearn for and tips for that. we have, at the $250 level, the keys to hidden wisdom collection, and this is irwin kula's complete collection. it has for you the newsletter. it has a copy of the book. it has the dvd and it has a second dvd, which explores the "time for a new god" and that nothing is what it seems. and this is a relatively hard dvd to find, so we hope that this is something that you might like to add to your collection. in any event, every contribution counts here at public television, every dollar makes a difference so when you're calling the number on your screen, you're connecting the program that is connected with you back to the station that has brought it to you. and your pledge of support is helping us to bring you more quality programs to continue that learning dialogue, day in and day out. whether you're a new member, whether it's time for you to renew, every contribution makes a difference because public television is viewer-supported television and your commitment to it, your commitment to keeping that dialogue ongoing, keeping it broad, keeping it diverse,

is something that is very, very important to all of our collective and continued learning experience. so, please call the number on your screen. support public television to the level that you can and have the comfort of knowing that, while you're enjoying your bountiful happiness, that you are giving back to yourself as well as your friends, your family and the entire community. that's what public television does best. it really does help us all to become better human beings at large. so we hope that you'll call right now the number on your screen and support public television. you know, i love that whole segment you did, irwin, about dayenu. it's just so resonant and it's funny because i grew up, actually, in a very jewish neighborhood. and i can remember singing that. i can remember coming home from school... ♪ da-dayenu, da-dayenu, da-dayenu... ♪ and i think i learned it, actually, in girl scouts. perfect. but i had no idea what it really means. i mean, this is something that can really... i mean, talk about shifting your perspective.... well, this has been all about shifting perspective, you know. the thing about dayenu, and it's such a basic practice,

is, so often we get caught in imagining and worrying about what's way ahead and we lose sight of the present and sometimes we're... you know, we're in the present and we lose sight of our real dreams. and dayenu says you can have both. you got to dream really big and you got to live in the present. you know, and for me, that's precisely what this program is about and what so much of public television is about. because you have to actually have a dream. and if you think about the public television schedule and you think about all the programming, there's always a dream implicit in public television about a way this society could be, about the community... about the way we could be. where else do you have, not only programs like hidden wisdom, but where else do you have programs like a wayne dyer? and i'm really happy, because wayne dyer is one of the people who actually endorsed my book. and he doesn't endorse many people, honestly. i noticed that myself, very impressive and well deserved. i mean, when you see this book, it's just tremendous. and that's because there were so many things in there that had such resonance. he talks about the three different mother's approaches

to the tooth fairy story. and you won't believe how much illumination from that simple story. and it works so well in the written version. i just... tremendous. of course, that can be yours at the $90 value, or, if you step up to the $250 level, it's included as part of that whole kit. and, as you were saying earlier, irwin, i loved that-- what was it?-- a dollar a day during the week? it's a dollar a day for every weekday and you get the weekends off. you can't beat that. for $250. that's right, that's absolutely tremendous. and, you know, something about that whole idea of embracing both things at once-- the unattainable thing you dream of and what you actually have. that is so different from any other philosophy i've heard. it's usually one piece, one piece... and they all have a bit of truth, so you're like, "yeah" and then it doesn't satisfy. something doesn't work. your ideas, it's like, "yes, it encompasses the both." well, i think that that's also one of the really necessary things in our society today. everybody has a partial truth

and what we confuse is our partial truth with a whole truth and then we get in trouble. and the question in our society is: how do we honor a lot of different types of truth? which is exactly what the public television message is. right. when i watch the evening news with jim lehrer, i never know what i'm going to get, because it's always going to be a conversation that has multiple perspectives. you know, it's not one of those tv stations where you turn it on, you know exactly what you're going to get, whether you're going to get the left or whether you're going to get the right, whether you're going to get conservative or whether you're going to get liberal. yes, and it's a little messy. it's messy, exactly. but it's a bigger picture of the truth. and if you count on public television for a bigger view of the truth, we are counting on you right now to put your financial support behind this station. call us. call that number on your screen right now. you're going to feel great about it. when you call the number on your screen and connect the program back to the station that brought it to you, you're letting us know that this program resonates with you and that it is a dialogue that you would like to continue

as we continue learning together here on public television. our ways of saying thank you for your support begin at the $60 level, with a copy of the yearnings newsletter. this newsletter is six pages. it's published four times annually and it contains additional writings on yearnings and daily practices from irwin. at the $90 level, we have yearnings: embracing the sacred messiness of everyday life. this is the hardcover volume and it's seven chapters. and chapter headings include things like: "yearning for truth, yearning for the way, yearning for happiness, yearning for meaning." this book greatly expands on the topics that irwin explores in this television special, at the $120 level, we have a copy of the program that includes an extra 20-minute segment, if you will, on yearning for forgiveness and how to achieve it. and we have the entire collection, for those of you who can give your support at this level. at $250, our way of saying thank you is the keys to hidden wisdom collection. and this includes the newsletter. it includes the book, the dvd and a second dvd, which is relatively hard to find.

and this is "time for a new god." and this kind of explores the idea that maybe everything isn't what we think it is. the beauty of all of it is that you have that dialogue right here on public television. when you call the number on your screen with your support, when you become a new member, when you renew your membership, you're letting us know that you have connected to this program, that it resonates with you and that this dialogue is important to you. and that's what public television is all about-- reflecting the diversity of ourselves, our community, having interacting dialogues, helping us to learn more about ourselves, more about other cultures, more about other ways. and how wonderful is it that we have this resource here for all of us? so, won't you call now the number on your screen and let us know here at public television that this dialogue is something that resonates with you and something that you really appreciate and that you would like to continue? thank you. i have found so much in this program that resonates with me and i have just been sharing. i mean, talk about making connections. it really has motivated me to make connections with my friends. and i loved what you said about intimacy,

about it not being falling in love with one person, but about how many times you're willing to fall in and out and in and out of love. and i've been telling my girlfriends and everbody's like, "oh..." i mean, i wrote it in my notes. i put four stars and a little heart there. i think this is what really... one of the things that i talk about in this book and i talk about, you know, in the dvd, especially the bonus material in the dvd, which is about forgiveness, is that the messiness is going to be a part of our lives. so the real issue is not whether we fall in love, it's how many times we're going to fall in love. the real issue isn't are we going to forgive someone, it's how many times we're going to have to forgive someone. and actually the more we forgive someone, the more intimate our relationship. and that's just like the dance between giving and receiving and giving and receiving. it's, you know... every time you receive, you have to give. there's a wonderful jewish wisdom tradition that if you actually make a contribution to improve the world,

it's as if you took something out of one pocket and stuck it in another. which means you haven't... your own pocket. i love it. your own pocket. that's great. you haven't given anything away. oh, oh, oh, it all comes back. right, it all comes back. i really feel that, because there's such a connection. every time you come up, the people say things back and i just feel so enriched by it. that's what this program can do and it's only be embracing things that we thought... that we kind of turned our backs on before and you're saying, "no, don't turn your back. embrace it." and you really show us how to do it. and it's not just a philosophy, but you've got practical things that you've shown us how to do in this program. yeah, in fact, in the bonus material on the dvd, and i'm really proud of this material, because i think that if... when you watch that forgiveness material, you will be able to forgive people in ways that you could've never imagined before. i have very serious techniques on how to become an excellent forgiver and a... somebody who's really capable of asking for forgiveness. that is a totally new perspective and that's all going to be on the dvd.

you'll be able to see that. that's material we weren't able to broadcast, but i want to make sure we thank you, because... thank you for this program and thank you for being here in the studio. thank you. it has been such a pleasure and a gift. it's been great to be here. thank you so much. thank you. call. we're waiting for your calls of support. take care of that business right now.

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