production of career advantage was made possible by a grant from the john h. delantoni charitable trust, supporting educational innovation. host: do you know what you really want out of life? what does success mean for you? and are you ready to go get it? we'll explore your motivations and beliefs in this episode of career advantage. ♪ ♪

the chinese philosopher, confucius, once said, "find a job that you love and you will never have to work a day again in your life." getting to know yourself better is the first step towards finding work that you love. as we go through this course, you'll collect and prioritize lots of information about yourself. answers to such questions as: what are your interests? what do you value? what can you do? tell me about your life roles at work or at home or in the community. describe your ideal day.

nd that you tell me about your life roles record your insights and ideas in your personal career profile, a notebook, file, or binder that you create during the course. in it you can write down your responses to the exercises. you can also include any questions or concerns that come to mind. all these questions can be difficult to answer at first. you might start with, what motivates you to take time out to know yourself? >> do some research about the career to see if it's a fit for you. understand yourself, what your strengths and weaknesses are. is this something that you're going to like? because i certainly want you to have fun - in whatever you're going to do. and if it's not fun, it shows through in your face. it shows through in your attitude with customers. so, do some research about that. >> the truth of the matter is, i think, most of us, when everything is said and done, want to be happy. and more than just be successful, we want to be happy.

and it's always been clear to me that you've got to listen to the sound of your own drummer. you can't really get clear on other things until you're clear, kind of, on what you want. and so, it was really important to me to take time out and to kind of say to myself, "okay, what will i enjoy the most? not, what will impress other people the most? or, what will get this person excited or get me this congratulations or that congratulations?" but, what will i be excited about getting up for in the morning and going to bed about at night? and so, i guess in all honesty, you know, that was the real issue for me, kind of, wanting to make sure that i live my days in a way that i feel good about and that i don't kind of look back and have regrets. >> i was so caught up in wanting to please everybody around me, because i thought if everybody around me was happy, then i would be happy. but i found out that that's not necessarily true.

you have to be happy inside of who you are before you can make others happy. >> i just think there's a lot of people walking around who really don't know who they are - who are doing things for other people. you know, the reason for getting a job or going to school - for doing all these things, to have all these things, are they really doing it for themselves? or are they doing it for, you know, other people? you know, i talk to a lot of people at school who said they were going to school because their parents made them go. well, i had to come to the realization that not only did i need to go to school, for, you know, a good job, but i needed to educate myself, to put myself on, you know, a higher level. host: how well do you know yourself? what are your interests? perhaps classical music, water sports, playing computer games, or helping disabled children.

>> for mine is, you know, like a lot of other people, i'd say, you know, i wish i was playing pro football or pro basketball. but, you know, that's not always to be the case. so given that that's not going to happen, this is certainly something that i enjoy doing. are there other things that i could see doing? definitely. i'd love to be an author. there are a bunch of things that i could enjoy doing, but i really enjoy what i'm doing now and i don't kind of look back or look around a lot and go, "gee whiz, i don't really want to go to work this morning." or, "i don't enjoy what i'm doing." on the contrary, i'm pretty excited about it and i feel good about it. and a lot of the reason has to do with the people i'm working with and some of the good things that are happening. >> i'm really social - i love to be with people and dance and be out and talk to new people. and then i love time alone. you know, it's like i like to spend time on my artwork and go swimming.

and i work alone, a lot, actually. so, i found that that's a nice balance. host: what is most important to you, or what are your values? making money, staying healthy, your religion, your family. >> three things are completely important to me that hold more than anything, it's my family, my friends, and my health. i think those three values for me separate me from somebody else because i kind of combine all of it as one. it's not ranked as, this is more important than the other. it's all three - they're all the same. and i think that's what sets me apart is i have some pretty fundamental values that i grew up with. and it's balance, it's education, it's all of that stuff that i was raised with.

host: what can you do or what are your skills? designing furniture, repairing cars, solving problems, or running a business. >> i'm doing accounting - actually doing accounting work, finally, you know, in the field, you know, that i graduated from. and that's fulfilling. host: we'll take time to explore answers to the questions, what are my interests? what are my values? and what are my skills? during the first section of this course. another way of looking at getting to know yourself is asking, what makes you unique? what sets you apart? remember that taking the time and energy to answer these questions is not selfish at all. in fact, you can be a better student, a better parent, a better co-worker - when you take time out to really think about who you are and what motivates you in life. >> i have a natural curiosity and excitement.

i don't know exactly what the day is going to be. and so i get up out of bed, i know it's going to be a good day, and i know i'm going to learn something new. even if it's not in school, i learn something new or i experience something new or i explore something that's totally new, discover something new about me. >> determination is, i think, something that has helped me get to this point where it's like, okay, you know, have the vision and what do you want and what do you see for yourself? and then the determination to make it happen even though those voices come up and kind of bash you down on those bad days, like, oh, i can't do this, but you keep going, because you're determined. close your eyes for a moment and pretend that you're a detective or a reporter, trying to discover who you are.

imagine looking around your favorite place, your preferred environment. where is this place? what do you do here? take time to notice the items you have around you. imagine the mood of the place and the pace. are you here alone or with other people? are there many books or clothes or musical instruments around? imagine the colors in your preferred environment. open your eyes now - where did you go? perhaps to an ideal location you've never been to, maybe to your own home or your parents' home. did you go to a temple or to a mountain stream where you go camping every summer? i thought of my favorite cafe near the beach where i prepare for most of my classes by reading and writing. although i'm by myself, i'm surrounded by people. and although i'm in a relaxing environment, i have something to do.

i know that i need that sort of balance. what about you? >> i'd say, good weather and being close to the water. i've always grown up close to the water so it's having that, the outdoors, i think, if anything. >> i'd say i'm drawn to an environment where people are friendly and outgoing and nice and happy to meet you and happy to see you and, you know, make you feel welcome. you know, pretty much a comfortable, you know, type of atmosphere. i don't really need anything all flashy. like i said before, i don't need to be in hollywood at the mtv video music awards or something. i just, you know, need something, you know, normal. >> i like activity. kind of an ideal place is probably not a huge stadium full of people

or kind of a huge, gigantic office building. it's probably something kind of on the small to medium size, whether it's a medium size party or whether it's a medium size office or what have you. because then you get a chance to talk to people, but they aren't all the same people. and you can constantly meet new people, as well. and there's kind of a buzz around the room - there's activity. and those are the kind of the environments i like. >> now i'm free, now i'm able to look, now i'm able to enjoy, and i can stop. i can stay and i can examine and i can be thrilled over the small things. that feels good - that gets me out of bed in the morning. host: i know that i'm asking lots of questions. so don't worry if your answers are not clear yet, if those pictures are still blurry and dark. we're still in the developing process which takes time. we will come back to these questions, exploring them in-depth in the next few episodes. remember the three steps that we discussed in the first episode?

step 1: self knowledge & exploration, answer the question, what do i really want? step 2: career & educational exploration, or, what's out there for me? step 3: career planning & implementation, or, how do i get what i want? let's take a look now at the first stage of getting to know yourself. understanding yourself includes exploring your values, interest, and skills, which are important in choosing a rewarding career. >> when we're starting with somebody at the beginning, what they really want to do, then we're usually talking to them about, what goes into making the decision - about what you want to do? we're talking to them about their interest, their values, their personality style, their skills, the skills they've developed and the skills that they love to use which may be different sets of skills. so we're explaining the process. these are the components that go into making a career decision.

here's how i can work with you as a counselor to help you identify those skills, interests, and values and then help you translate those into a career, into a choice that will be satisfying for you. host: the poet, antonio machado, wrote: your beliefs deeply affect your thinking, your attitudes, your behaviors, and your career choices. your beliefs are ideas that you hold about how your life works. do you believe that you can be successful? how successful? do you believe that you can achieve your goals? if not, what do you believe stands in your way? here's an example of a belief: if i do well in school, i will be successful in my career. next, your attitudes are the feelings that you have based on your beliefs. here's an example of an attitude: i know that i can get a high grade on this test in class.

and finally, your behaviors are the actions that you take which reflect your beliefs and attitudes. i'm going to study all my homework notes and read the assigned chapters in the textbook before taking the test. now, if you follow through with these actions, then we know that succeeding in school is really important to you. one more time, a belief: next comes the attitude: then the behaviors: your behaviors reflect your attitudes and beliefs. if you have the belief that success in your career is important and the attitude that you can be successful, then you are likely to take the actions to be successful.

>> beliefs are actually extremely valuable. but, they have pros and cons to them. they have good sides and bad sides. and beliefs tend to either open areas for students to explore or limit the kinds of things that they're willing to explore. but they're just internalized information that they have about themselves and what they're capable of and what they're not capable of. they're not necessarily grounded in reality, at all. the beliefs that are positive give students an attitude of, yes, i can do that. i can be successful at that. but the beliefs that are negative that create limitations create those same kinds of limitations when students look at occupations and they tend to rule things out that could actually be very viable choices. but the piece that's in the way is their limiting belief about themselves. host: sometimes we don't have such a positive attitude - and it can get in our way. you know that internal voice in your mind which constantly evaluates your progress?

the one that says, "you're never going to find the right career." or "great job, you're really staying focused." we call that voice our self talk. positive self talk helps you to stay hopeful and focused. negative self talk can stop you from pursuing your dreams. what does your inner voice say to you? >> i may have two inner voices. i think they fight with each other sometimes, you know, because the good voice won't let the bad voice takeover. it will for a little while, but then the good voice will come in and say, "hey, hey, hey, hey. stop that." right now, as we talk about success and change, your probably making some comments to yourself. take a moment to listen. you can control this self talk. start by recognizing the source of the self talk. as you spend time with your family and friends, go to work or school,

start paying attention to how you talk to yourself. when a new opportunity comes up, do you immediately say: sounds great - i can definitely see myself there. or even, i should find out more. sounds like i could really make a difference here. or do you go right to comments like, oh, i could never do that job? or, no one would ever hire me, i'm too young or too old. you might even hear your parents make judgments like, you're a girl, you can't major in biology. or you might hear a teacher's voice from way back in second grade, what are you doing, you're coloring outside the lines. >> so, the bad voice will say, oh my god, you are so stupid - look what you have done, you are so goofy. you would forget your head if it was not screwed on your body, you know. you know, how could you make a mistake like that? what were you thinking? weren't you thinking? the down side to me is really when that

voice of the critic comes along and it says, who do you think you are, you know, to be doing this? and you try and you put something out or, you know, like, for example, oh, for example, you know, just applying to art shows and not getting in. or applying to teach somewhere and not having it be accepted. no wonder this career process can be frustrating or confusing. we constantly have this inner voice judging our moves. self talk, positive self talk, is crucial. you can control your self talk. we all go through days when we feel better than other days. >> it could be extremely valuable. it gives people wonderful insight because they can see not only what the belief is, but in some cases, they can actually identify why they came to that belief. and when they realize what led up to it,

they can start questioning what those circumstances were and realize, this really isn't true for me anymore - i'm a different person, i'm more mature, i know more. i know more about myself in the world of work. and it can give them a tremendous amount of freedom. and they don't necessarily have to immediately go choose a career, that, you know, this belief has opened up. but, it gives them freedom in a lot of other areas of their life because they can get more and more of a sense of who they are authentically as opposed to who they've been telling themselves they are all these years. remember your support system from the last episode? the people who respect and encourage you. call someone in your support system when you feel down. have that person remind you of three of your greatest assets. take notes and put them at the front of your personal career profile. this way you'll remind yourself of what you have to offer whenever you have to work on your career search. >> in bad times, i think that voice is saying, learn from it.

but don't make that decision again, because that's when you become a failure. i think a failure is defined as someone who makes a mistake but repeats it again and again. and i think if you make a mistake, that's cool. no problem. now just learn from it and move on. host: so much of finding the right career is attitude, a positive attitude. and that means believing in yourself and that means, right, knowing yourself. hi. i'm patrick combs with another hot tip. talk great to yourself. muhammad ali is the only boxer ever to win the heavyweight championship title three times. we all know how good he was at talking great about himself. for instance, what he said before the joe frazier fight,

"there's not a man alive who can whoop me. i'm too fast. i'm too smart. i'm too pretty. i should be a postage stamp. that's the only way i'll ever get licked." ali mastered great self talk and he did it at an early age. at 16 years old, he'd introduce himself by saying, "i'm going to be the heavyweight champion of the world someday and i'm going to be famous." it's no surprise that his dreams came true with such great self talk. self talk shapes your self image, your self image shapes your daily actions. and, of course, your actions shape your future. so the next time you hear yourself say something negative, like, i can't, i hate it, that's impossible, or i'm not good enough. notice it was negative and change it to positive language, like: i can. this is a challenge. it's possible. i deserve this. because, whether you think you can or you think you can't - you're absolutely right.

until next time, be great! host: so, what are you telling yourself right now? what about, i want to live an extraordinary life? >> well, in good times, i just feel like the world is my oyster. you know, it's like, wow, i can do anything. i can do anything. i can go anywhere. it's like, i can create anything i want to. i mean, not to say it's not hard work. but if i have a vision and i want to do it i feel like i can make it happen. and i actually feel like the things that i've done, you know, have been those voices that said, why don't you do this? and then i went and did them. we learn by going down this path and the door doesn't open. then, well, perhaps that's just not the right path for you. so, take a turn and try another door.

and if that one opens - because now my life is really flowing so that it seems like when i get those no's from the world, like that's okay. it wasn't meant to be. then i'll try this. >> and then my good voice will come in and say, hey, hey, hey. stop abusing her like that - she did the best she could at the time. and that's okay. everybody makes mistakes. it's okay. so i have those little conflicting voices in my head and i try to listen to the good one. >> i'd say positive and confident attitude is really important too, to be an employee, not only at sun, but anywhere these days. being able to approach a problem in a confident way and being able to present your ideas well to an organization is really important to selling your ideas. and that's the only way to get something bought and achieved in an organization. host: your beliefs about your ability to be successful

will influence the effort that you put into understanding yourself, exploring your options, and finding career opportunities. how much energy and time have you committed to this course so far? chances are that if you're doing the exercises as we go along, you do believe that you will find the right career for you. >> one of the ways that they can start to modify their beliefs is to think in terms of what would it take for me to know, to understand that this belief is no longer true? what kind of evidence would i need. and then to do something in their lives that would pursue that kind of evidence. so that they're getting, they're reality testing it in the real world. but that individual has to determine what the exact evidence is that would convince them - and go find it. >> when i graduated i felt like, you know, i finally accomplished something. i had been in school for so many years. i finally did it.

you know, conquering something that i was having a problem with at work is enough to bring out that little inner voice that says, that was really good. keep going, you know. keep learning more. you know, keep doing, you know, more things, you know, like that. >> i don't like to stay stagnant in my career. i don't like to just kind of just hang out and say, oh this is fine. i always want to say, okay, what am i doing to challenge myself? am i learning more? when i get to a point where i'm so ingrained in being challenged with my career that i can't take it anymore. there's just so much going on. there's so much to learn. i don't think i'll ever reach that point. so it's just, i have this yearning and this love for learning and being challenged. >> i'm not the same person who was content to sit and do, at the desk - whatever i was told to do. now i want to get out and get involved and roll my sleeves up and be a part of life. so that's what i tell myself.

host: here's something you can do on your own to influence your self talk. recall a recent success at work or at home. maybe your daughter wrote an essay about you as her favorite person. or your boss complimented you on the project that you completed before the deadline. again, put these successes in your personal career profile. this is another step towards developing that positive self talk that we all need. when you feel frustrated, confused, or tired, keep in mind that you are heading towards what you really want. you deserve it and you are working your way towards getting it. i have a sign in my office that says, "dream it, do it!" "dream it, do it!" it works for me. in the next episode, we'll explore your values and how they affect your career plans. i'll see you next time on career advantage.

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production of career advantage was made possible by a grant from the john h. delantoni charitable trust, supporting educational innovation.