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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  September 30, 2010 11:05pm-12:05am PST

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and finally tonight, chaos in ecuador, where police officers waged a gun fight against a special forces unit that was evacuating the
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president from a hospital in the capital. the police had cornered the u.s.-educated president in the hospital after he moved to slash benefits for a public sector workers. after escaping the hospital, a definal president spoke to thousands of supporters from the roof of the presidential palace. despite his past opposition to u.s. policy in the region, the white house today threw its support behind the embattled president. that is our report for tonight. from all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about macy's fashion director. an interactive game that challenges you to custom-create outfits for every occasion this fall, and offers daily prizes for the best looks. it can make all the difference when you're shopping for yourself, or even someone else. take our friend yehya for example. here's how yehya's gift-giving experience might go without
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macy's fashion director. >> happy birthday sweetheart. >> oh, thanks! it's -- beautiful. >> oh, no! >> jimmy: good acting. >> jimmy: and now, here's how that might go with macy's fashion director. >> happy birthday sweetheart. >> oh, thank you, you're so sweet. what did you get me? >> from macy's, for you! >> oh, okay -- >> you like it? >> i love it! and shoes? >> and shoes. >> and a handbag? >> and bag! >> oh, i love you. >> i love you, too. thank you. >> who is this? >> i don't know. >> who is that? >> i don't know. >> oh! oh -- okay. what's going on? >> jimmy: you know, that's a shame.
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but i think we can all agree that macy's fashion director comes out smelling like a rose. right, yehya? >> i guess so. >> dicky: show the world how you can pull it all together. take the macy's daily fashion challenge and you could win $100 at macys.com/fashiondirector. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with david cross, music from the avett brothers and vanessa williams. [ electronic humming ]
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[ screams ] it says it's the second switch. alright. [ switch clicks ] [ whistles and clapping ] [ male announcer ] at&t feels everyone should have access on the go, so we're making mobile broadband more affordable. introducing new smartphone data plans starting at only $15. at&t. rethink possible. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- from "desperate housewives," vanessa williams. david cross. a special appearance by ryan reynolds. and music from the avett brothers. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live"
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>> dicky: and now, on top of all that, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for coming, thanks for watching. instead of doing a show tonight, i think i'm going to lead everyone in a yoga class. do you have your mats? it's been very hot here in los angeles this week. record heat. some of the hots heat we've ever had here. and yesterday often, out of nowhere, it rained. after it rained, a double rainbow appeared. for real, just like the one on youtube. very rare to see a double rainbow in the sky here. it's actually rare to see the sky here at all.
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but a double rainbow is pretty cool. i won't even look at a single rainbow anymore. they're boring. but what i really would like to see more than anything, you know what that is uncle frank? >> what jim? >> jimmy: a bacon double rainbow. wouldn't that be something? [ applause ] i hope i live long enough to -- today, by the way, was the 50th anniversary of the flintstones. the cartoon family of the past. the flynn season tos premiered tonight in 1960, which was a simpler time. a time when you could use a bird to trim the hedges and chimps with handles ran our traffic lights. the flyintstones was the first successful animated program in primetime. i haven't seen it in about 15 years or something. you can see the influence that it had on today's popular shows. in a lot of ways, the flintstones was far ahead of its time. >> call me a ho like a jerkoff.
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>> you are a ho. >> do you talk to your mother like that? >> shut your mouth. you dirty little hamster. >> how many guys you sleep with in 24 hours? two. >> i didn't have sex with jose. >> get all of my face. >> you know what you're good at? >> you're a dirt bag and your penis should fall off because you're disgusting. >> jimmy: well, there you go. [ applause ] they also had a duck phone. a new episode of "jersey shore" tonight. action-packed. and romantic, too. it looks like mike the situation has finally found love. he found it in a nightclub. last week, the situation met a girl at a club but lost track of her at the end of the show. but this episode, he found her again and immediately had sex with her. >> you want to -- half of my sandwich? that one is with -- this is egg
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and toast, whatever. >> okay. >> she has no shame in her game at all. she's great in bed and the next thing you know, she's eating an egg sandwich with mvp. you know, you can't find them like that these days. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't? seems -- seems like you can. the girl in the house that everyone hates, angelina, finally left tonight. answer l angelina hates everyone, everyone hates here and tonight she felt the full force of hurricane snooki. >> all of yous in this house are [ bleep ]. and i want you all to know that i can't stand any of yous. >> okay. hold my earrings, please. >> oh, yeah. this is what's up. this is what's up. ♪ we keep it gangster ♪ we keep it gangster >> i'm going to leave this house right now. >> oh, yeah!
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>> i had to move the table because it was getting real serious. i didn't want anything to happen to the table. >> bring it on. >> it's like beating up a baby, snooki, you know what i mean? she's so tiny. like her arms are like t-rex arms. she can't even get a full reach. >> jimmy: i'm impressed they know what dinosaurs are, to be honest with you. maybe from the flin stones. [ applause ] so -- there you go, that's -- you know, you hate to see orange on orange violence but sometimes there's nothing can you do about it. snooki, by the way, has announced that she's working on a book. a novel, even. snooki is writing a novel. what are the olds she thinks novel is another word for belly button? they've -- they already decided on a title. it's called "drink, smush, puke." first book ever to be printed entirely in spray tan, so -- one
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of the women who claims to be former tiger woods mistress is also claiming now to have a sex tape. she says she has a 62-minute long tape, 37 minutes of which is her having sex with tiger woods. the other 25 minutes they're playing scrabble. so precise, by the way. 37 of the 62 minutes are -- you know, it's that kind of attention to detail that separates the amateur pornographers from the greats. her own mother says she's lying. her own mother says she never had a relationship with tiger woods, but i tell you what, if she does have this tape, i hope she hires a couple of hushed voice golf announcers to do play by play for it. tiger lining up his approach. he lays up just shy of the back nine. this is -- this is something. this is, three of the captains from the discovery channel show, what's that "deadliest catch,"
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have announced they're quitting the show apparently they have caught everything in the ocean. actually, they quit after discovery sued them for allegedly not finishing up a spin-off. the news is a big blow to the network, because that show is very popular. discovery is launching another show that combines some of the elements of that old show, but some of the elements of another popular reality show. i think it's going to be a bigger success. >> high seas. high drama. high celebrities. captain dr. drew welcomes you to the most dramatic celebrity recovery crabbing show of all time. rehab boat. the celebrity-est catch. all new this fall. >> jimmy: after an all-new "keeping up with the kardashians."
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finally paris hilton is going to get some crabs. i had a fun visit today. you know, we do this show at night but we work in the office all day and every once in awhile a celebrity stops by to say hello. today, ryan reynolds stopped by. he has a new movie out that's been getting good reviews. he stopped by. unfortunately, i have a camera crew surrounding me at all times, so, we were able to capture this visit on tape. hey, what's up. >> what's going on? good to see you. >> jimmy: you, too. >> i was just three doors down. >> jimmy: thanks for coming by. congratulations on the movie. >> thank you. >> jimmy: everything's good. >> great. great. how are you doing? >> jimmy: good, good. >> great. cool. cool. cool. >> jimmy: well, i -- i'm actually kind of busy with my whittling, so -- but it's great -- really great to see you. thanks for stopping by.
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>> okay. what are you whittling there? >> an ocean animal. >> terrific. see you later. >> jimmy: oh, ryan? there's a gal in the office, her name is alexis, she's a huge fan of yours. she's got pictures all over. would you mind stopping by, saying hello to her? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that would be great. >> because she's getting fired today in about an hour, so, in a way, i think it would make the day a lot better. >> oh, um -- in that case, yeah, okay. >> jimmy: okay, thanks, man. >> see you later. >> jimmy: take care. good guy. >> no, i know it's expensive, but we'll figure it out. yeah. okay. i love you -- i love you, too. >> alexexialexis? >> that's me. >> ryan reynolds -- >> i know. oh my gosh. >> can i help you find somebody
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or are you looking -- >> i'm here to see you. i just wanted to say hi. jimmy -- >> that's the best. hi. >> hi. everything good? how are you? >> everything is great. i'm -- i love your movies. >> thank you very much. >> i just -- i've seen "the proposal" about 50 times. >> my fiance proposed to me while we were watching it, so -- >> no way. wow. >> i just paused it on your face and just looked at you and i was like, yes, i'll marry you. >> jimmy: ryan? tell her. >> what? >> jimmy: tell her. >> no, jimmy. >> jimmy: it should come from you. >> no, it -- >> jimmy: ryan has something he needs to tell you, alexis. >> what is it? >> alexis, um -- sit down, okay? >> what's up?
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>> look. you know in china, do you know the word for crisis is the same word for opportunity? >> okay. >> i learned that watching "grey's anatomy." >> so what's up? >> for the most part, you're fired. yeah. >> this is -- this is the silliest thing -- >> and that's the truth. >> let's start over with what is happening for me now. >> okay. i'm going to start over because i don't know why i'm here, okay? yeah. you -- you don't work here anymore. they've let you go. they fired you, you're done. >> you're serious? >> yeah. you don't work elsewhere, but you also -- >> i'm losing my job today, right now. >> you are. >> oh, my god. >> don't -- don't do that. >> why? >> well, it's a contracting economy -- >> why? why? >> the war on terror. >> why? >> let's go back to disbelief. >> why? why? >> oh -- >> no -- oh, my gosh.
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>> no, no, no, don't do that -- alexis, here's the thing. i've been fired before. i used to work at linens and things and i got fired. i didn't like that. but you know what? now i'm a millionaire. and that -- >> oh, my god! >> okay. >> why is this happening to me? >> i shouldn't be here. >> do you want this? >> i've got one. >> i don't want that memory. oh, my god. >> you got it -- excuse me. >> yep. >> oh, god. >> jimmy: women in the workplace, huh? whoa. thanks for doing that. >> no, no -- >> jimmy: you handled that really well. >> thank you, jimmy. that was really fun. >> i think he's probably really -- >> yeah, i bet she is jshg and i made you this sea horse. i whittled that for you. >> eat a bag of [ bleep ], [ bleep ] face. >> jimmy: what did i do?
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go see ryan in "buried" in select theaters now. i thank him for doing that. can you believe that, uncle frank? >> i don't believe it, no, i don't. >> jimmy: all right. it's thursday night, time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." enjoy. >> the stakes are too high for our country and for your future and i am going to get out there and [ bleep ] as hard as i can, and i know you are, too. >> all right, folks, let's look at the weather. maggie, inside to you, i'm going to [ bleep ] off. >> there are videos on the internet showing girls [ bleep ] each other. >> had a special on [ bleep ] [ bleep ] back in 1977. >> the pilot's 84-year-old mom call herd son a hero and added, he's quite a guy and has a big, big [ bleep ]. . >> one of them this is my favorite. where is the [ bleep ] rain? >> where is the [ bleep ] rain. >> that was great. >> it is national [ bleep ] day,
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so, look around see if there are any free [ bleep ]. >> i read that you took up to six [ bleep ] a day. did you always [ bleep ] that many times when you write? >> because i'm not crazy. >> how about you just hand me my crown? >> no, jake, it's a trick. >> i'm [ bleep ] with you. psychologically! >> jimmy: we have a fun show for you tonight. david cross is here. we have music from the avett brothers. and we'll be right back with vanessa williams, so stick around. whatcha doing little bite™? trying to be big like you, dad. you're so good at keeping everyone full...
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>> jimmy: hello, we're back. welcome back. with us tonight, a funny man whom you know from "mr. show with bob and david" and
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"arrested development". he has a new show called "the increasingly poor decisions of todd margaret." it starts tomorrow night. david cross is with us. then, later on, this is their new dvd. it's called "live volume three." the avett brothers from the bud light stage. it's produced by rick rubin. you can see them live on october 13th at radio city music hall. and they're really brothers. isn't that something? our first guest earned three emmy nominations playing the vain and devious wilhelmina slater on "ugly betty." now, she plays the vain and devious renee perry alongside her vain and devious co-stars on "desperate housewives." >> you know what i was thinking? why don't i just find a place here in fairview? >> fairview? ah -- no. no, no. you're a new yorker. you love the theater, museums. you said yourself, you can't even get a decent cup of coffee
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around here. >> i meant here, lynnette. how hard is it to clean the pot? >> jimmy: watch "desperate housewives" sunday nights at 9:00 here on abc. please say hello to vanessa williams. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, thank you for coming. you look fantastic. >> i feel like so fee ya loren tonight. >> jimmy: you look great. i like that dress. good looking dress. did you make that? >> no, dolce gabbana. >> jimmy: is that a designer? >> two italians, darling. >> jimmy: you are on "desperate housewives." that's like walking into a hornet's next -- >> no hazing. they've been great to me. >> jimmy: they have? >> this is their seventh season. it's a well-oiled machine.
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>> jimmy: things have settled down? they used to pull each other's hair out. it used to be a lot like "jersey shore." do you have to catch up on everything that's happened previously to you joining the show? >> well, again, it's been seven seasons. i did watch for the first couple and i figured since i was coming to the lane i wouldn't have known what was going on for the past seven years anyway, so, i didn't -- >> jimmy: good way of getting out of having to watch everything. very, very good. >> but i play a college roommate of lynnette, who is felicity huffman. >> jimmy: and she's not that excited to see you, it seems like. >> renee is kind of a pain in the ass. she's showing up and roughfuling a little feathers and they have me sprinkled around between all kinds of storylines. >> jimmy: now, "ugly betty" was in new york. >> we did the pilot in new york, here for two years, there for two years. and then i did a show at the
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roundabout and then i got the call to join this, and move back out here. >> jimmy: nice. >> one child here and then the other three are in new york. >> jimmy: you don't want to drag them back and forth depending on what's going on -- >> my little one is 10, so she's in school here and needs to be settled. my son is a senior, so, he didn't want to leave high school senior year. and my other girls -- i have a 23 and 21 so, one is in college, senior year and the other one is living her life -- >> jimmy: i heard there's a tornado or something that hit, attached your children. >> i got -- [ laughter ] four years ago, there was a tornado alert two days ago. i still get the blackberry messengers from the school system back in new york there was a tornado warning, all the after school activities were scan selled on tuesday in west chester in new york. but four years before that, my daughter who is now 21, she was a senior in high school, and she was parked, well, she was in line behind a school bus,
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windows were down, summer day, and she felt some wind and she said, oh, dark cloud, and 2003 ended up falling on top of her car. and it, i read in the paper, i was in japan doing a gig, she called, said she was in the hospital, tree fall on the car, no worries. then she sent me the pictures and i freaked out. in the "usa today," i kept the -- >> jimmy: that's how you found out? >> actual tornado in west chester county. >> jimmy: so there must be -- >> it's freaky. what's going on? >> jimmy: you need to move out of that area. i mean, really -- >> it's a lovely area. >> jimmy: how lovely with a tornado sweeping in? >> it's rare. >> jimmy: i guess so. listen, if they're blackberrying you guys when it's coming -- >> we got rain here yesterday. that's different. >> jimmy: do you like it here in l.a.? >> it's a great place to work. they treat you like gold here.
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>> jimmy: a great place to work? >> when you're on a good show. believe me, i've been here when i've been out of work. >> jimmy: you don't like living here? >> i like living here when i have a job. >> jimmy: i feel like you're lying. it's all right if you don't like l.a. -- no one here -- >> back in 1985, i came here -- >> jimmy: i think i'm the only one that likes it here. >> it's a great place to live. but when you're not working it can be a very lonely place and it's a lot of people are working out here. and when you're not, it's hard. >> jimmy: have you had that -- >> it's nice to come back here. >> jimmy: struggling and just kind of waiting around for the phone to ring. >> oh, absolutely. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but you know, again, i've been -- i have four kids. i've been a mother for 23 years so, i'm before pretty occupied when the phone wasn't ringing, i got diapers to change. >> jimmy: your character is -- just divorced from a new york yankee on the show. >> yeah. >> jimmy: in real life you are married to a los angeles laker. which did you prefer?
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being fake married to a yankee -- >> fake marriage is a lot easier. >> reporter: your ex-husband is now on "dancing with the stars." does it surprise me that he's doing that? >> oh, totally. when i first met him, i finished doing a movie called "dance with me" and he came to the premiere party and he watched me salsa all night and -- >> jimmy: you didn't dance with you? >> he did not. >> jimmy: that son of a -- wow. >> look at him now. he's -- it's very hard. >> jimmy: did you vote for him? >> i didn't vote yet. but i watched my daughter. he's been there every monday night cheering her dad on. >> jimmy: yeah, well -- but you're not voting, though. let's not get ridiculous. are you voting for others? you're voting for kurt warner instead? >> i'm just going to watch. >> jimmy: i don't blame you. you don't always have to vote. i found this out, this is interesting, because you're on "ugly betty" and now on
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"desperate housewives" but your first acting job on primetime television was on another abc show which was "the love boat." >> good lord. >> jimmy: i got to tell you -- i would do almost anything for a picture like this of myself. i mean, when that buoy came up, that life preserver and your head was on it, you must have been beside yourself. >> i had made it big. >> jimmy: who did you play? >> i played myself. it was a cruise with all the miss americas. >> jimmy: and this is great. this is you and isaac. he's making time with you there on the deck. >> back in the '80s. >> jimmy: what was the plot? do you remember? >> i have no idea. i was so happy to be -- >> jimmy: with isaac? >> that was a legendary show. >> oh, yeah. smooth. look at him. he's there helping, i guess? oh, he's wearing his blue jacket, which you didn't see that much. normally he wore the white.
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this is the -- when you really wanted to impress the ladies, he would slip into the blue jacket. would you like a cocktail? >> exactly. >> jimmy: that is something. i like to -- do you hear from isaac? >> i have not. >> jimmy: we should get him on "dancing with the stars." you would vote for him, right? >> yeah. florence henderson is a blast from the past. >> jimmy: she's no isaac. well, congratulations. your family, i hope is safe from tornadoes. >> let's hope. >> jimmy: and great to have you back here. vanessa williams, everybody. "desperate housewives" airs sundays at 9:00 p.m. here on abc. we'll be right back with david cross. i was driving in northern california. my son was asleep. i really didn't see it coming. i didn't realize i was drifting into the other lane. [ kim ] i was literally falling asleep at the wheel. it got my attention, telling me that i wasn't paying attention. i had no idea the guy in front of me had stopped short.
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>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. still to come, the avett brothers will be here. you know our next guest from the outstanding shows like "arrested development" and "mr. show with bob and david." his latest project is called "the increasingly poor decisions of todd margaret." it premieres on ifc tomorrow night at 10:00.
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please welcome, another former miss america, david cross. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: so, i will say first, i watched three episodes of your new show and it's very funny. >> thanks, man. >> jimmy: congratulations on that. i think people would applaud if they, too, have seen it, but they haven't. >> you know what, when this is rerun, they'll applaud then. >> jimmy: we'll insert some -- >> i just wanted to -- i know you were joking with the intro about miss america but just so nobody, so i don't have to answer it again a million times while i have this opportunity, it wasn't miss america, it was mrs. america. >> jimmy: i always get those confused. does trump own that one? >> he owns me, so, you know -- >> jimmy: well, this -- this show is interesting the way you've set it up because you shot it in england for british
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tv but also for american tv. >> yeah, the -- the idea was -- i was -- it wasn't my idea to do the show but i was in london doing standup and somebody came up to me after a show and clearly not one of my normal fans, or somebody that would come see me, and very posh woman, about whether i'd be interested in creating a show that i'd write for me to star in, as you said, for british television with the potential of being sold to the states, as well. >> jimmy: so what did you say? >> i said, ah, man, i [ bleep ]. because -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they like that. >> really? applaud for me? i tend to drink a lot on stage. i revert to my southern -- >> reporte >> jimmy: the title of the show
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seems very english to me. >> okay. >> jimmy: right? "the increasingly poor decisio s s" -- >> any comedy nerd worth his salt knows, you know, the really great, the steve cougans -- >> jimmy: never heard. >> you know -- >> jimmy: just kidding. the original title of the show was "randy jackson presents america's best dance crew," right? but that was taken? >> yeah. i couldn't -- they spelled troupe differently over there. >> jimmy: will arnett is on the show with you, not that that's news to you. he's -- i love him. >> he's very handsome. >> jimmy: he is. underrated -- his handsomeness is overlooked because he's funny. >> i'll tell you what. you saw the first three episodes but he -- i don't want to give anything away, but he starts becoming more prominent as
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the -- >> jimmy: fatter? >> um -- >> jimmy: he did just have a baby. are you telling me that he's pregnant on the show? >> well, it was hard for him to lose the baby wait, you know? >> jimmy: was "arrested development" shown in england? >> that's part of my popularity over there, it huge over there. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, yeah. really big. >> jimmy: it seems like it would be great if you could get them to pay for you guys to make more episodes. i don't know what's wrong with this country. your character from that show, obviously it's got a huge cult following, and, not quite huge enough to keep it on the air, but -- we found these halloween pictures -- it's true. it was a great show and -- >> it was -- >> jimmy: sadly, it was -- not enough people watch. >> but at least now there's the theme park, the "arrested development" theme park. the tobias coaster. >> jimmy: this falls right in. these are halloween costumes that we found on the internet.
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various people. this guy has got a -- a problem. >> that is terrible. >> jimmy: i think -- yeah. well, listen, not everyone has a makeup department, i mean, some people have to do it themselves. this guy is a combination of you and the six flakes guy. >> and andy dick. >> jimmy: this is nice. this guy's really -- all he did, i think, was -- all he went with is the mustache there. i think that's you. it could just be a guy in his kitchen. here's when you were -- tobias was in the blue man group phase. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this guy -- he's halfway there. he's a little less than -- >> he looks so sensitive. it looks like he's -- like that's his album cover, you know? >> jimmy: they've gone too far with the catalog. here's -- oh, this, when tobias got the hair plugs.
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being attacked by leeches. and -- have you met this person? >> no, no. >> jimmy: do you want to? because david, he's -- no, he's not here. you've not met this man. you'd think he would make a pilgrimage to meet you -- >> you know what, i'm always one step ahead. constantly moving. i lived in london for six months -- >> jimmy: because of him? >> yes! that's how the show came -- >> jimmy: that is just horrible, i think. i have to say. flattering, but horrible. >> this is -- kind of [ bleep ] material. >> jimmy: that's truly masturbating if you're looking at a picture of yourself. >> let's turn that over. >> jimmy: the last time you were here, you were writing a book which turned out to be a best seller. you were working on a tour, which, you know, but -- the tour -- >> yeah, the tour was a result of the -- when i went to meet
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the press people for the book, the publisher, whatever, and their idea to market the book was simply, and i went in to midtown for a meeting and everything. and their idea was, oh, very excited, got some internet things and then we're going to put you on "good morning america" and "the view." >> jimmy: perfect for you. that's your audience right there. >> i said, that will have a negative effect because i'll be hungover and i'll be very honest and it won't be very good and people will talk about it oh, did you hear that terrible thing david cross said to whoopi or whatever. so, then i put the tour together as a -- well, to do the tour, it had been awhile, and also as a way to sell the book and, you know, book signings, stuff like that. >> jimmy: and you employed children. >> yeah, yeah, always. they're cheap. very exploitable. they fall asleep very easily. yeah, no, i -- you're talking
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about the standup. >> jimmy: we have a clip of what you would do. do you need to set this up a little bit? >> well, at the beginning of each show, todd glass would open up and introduce me and everybody goes yay, and each city, we had a different kid that we got from that city put a bald cap on him, some glasses, and i wrote a monologue for him. that would have him eventually finding, seeing somebody in the audience who was taping the show and then he would freak out. >> jimmy: let's take a look. >> you recording this? no way, i specifically no recording of any kind. i'm serious about this -- i will [ bleep ] you up, bitch. that's it. show's over. [ bleep ] trying to record my -- you know what, i hope this chandelier fall on all of you. that's it, i'm out. [ bleep ] you [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: you should adopt that boy. >> i have to tell you -- that was a kid -- that was a kid named dean from the milwaukee
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show, he was so good, we flew him out when we were going to tape the shows in boston. but he -- and his folks, obviously. >> jimmy: he has parents? he riffed that last thing. the thing about, i hope the chandelier falls and -- he riffed it. >> jimmy: really? >> yes. >> jimmy: i guess he had done some web search thing. >> jimmy: was it difficult to get his parents to go along with this plan? >> no. there's -- i mean, that was my biggest fear was in each city, because we did a big tour here, and in canada, and, you know, would we get a kid in each city? i mean, because the monologue was filthy. and -- and the parents were so delighted. >> jimmy: they were? >> and each one of them, the kids were all awesome. they were great and they memorized the lines. we were up all night with him going over his lines. >> jimmy: really? >> oh, it's -- there is no shortage of parents who are
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gleefully exploiting their children. >> jimmy: god bless america. there you go. well, please, do yourself a favor, check out david's new show, called "the increasingly poor decisions of todd margaret" tomorrow night at 10:00 on ifc. dave cross, everybo david cross, everybody. we'll be right back with the avett brothers. made it burn even more. ♪ new puffs plus lotion is more soothing than common tissue. and it delivers twice the moisturizers to your nose versus the next leading lotion tissue. a nose in need deserves puffs plus lotion indeed. when you prefer a lotion-free tissue, try puffs ultra soft & strong. how smart is the new ford edge? well, it can show you the most fuel-efficient route to where you're going. it can find the best price on gas.
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here meg whitman started with 30 people. led them. managed them. executed the plan that grew this main street company to fifteen thousand employees and made small business dreams come true. to change california let's send meg whitman up the road... about a hundred and thirty miles.
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come on... isn't it time an auto insurer gave it to you straight?
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that's why you should talk to state farm. but not yet. first, talk to any one of the 40 million drivers who already have state farm. 40 million. yeah, that's more than geico and progressive combined. by a lot. 40 million drivers. more savings. and discounts up to 40%. where else you gonna get discounts like that? call an agent at 1-800-state-farm or go online. >> jimmy: this is their latest album, it's called "live volume three." here with the song "kick drum heart," the avett brothers.
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♪ ♪ the footprints over the snow the fabric of all the lonely c-c-covering only the fables and hands ♪ ♪ the rest is out in the cold holding the last of the season f-f-f freezin' yeah ♪ ♪ my my my heart like a kick drum my my heart like a kick drum ♪ ♪ my my heart like a kick drum my my love like a voice ♪ we're walkin' ♪ ♪ in to the fields we're walkin into the forest the moon is before us ♪ ♪ up above we're holdin' hands in the rain s-s-sayin' words ♪
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♪ like i love you d-d-do you love me yeah my my my heart ♪ ♪ like a kick drum my my heart like a kick drum my my heart ♪ ♪ like a kick drum my my love like a voice ♪ mother mary heard us approaching ♪ ♪ her door although we didn't make a sound ♪
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♪ there's nothing like finding gold within the rocks hard and cold i'm so surprised ♪ ♪ to find more always surprised to find more i won't look back anymore i left the people that do ♪ ♪ it's not the chase that i love it's me following you my my heart ♪ ♪ like a kick drum my my heart like a kick drum my my heart ♪ ♪ like a kick drum my my love like a voice my my heart like a kick drum ♪ y
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