and time now for tonight's closing arguments. in his days as a marquee cnn host, lou dobbs became well known for his hard line stance against illegal immigrants. today, the nation magazine released interviews with five undocumented workers who cared for dobbs' florida estate and his daughter show jumping horse. dobbs insists he has done no wrong because he never personal little or intentionally hired

these men. so, tonight, we ask you, does this make lou dobbs a hypocrite? is he responsible to check every gardner or stable hand? tell us what you think at the "nightline" page at abcnews.com. and be sure to watch "good morning america" for the very latest on this tomorrow. and also tomorrow, right here, hope you'll join us for "nightline." we meet an evangelical pastor in southern florida who has created the largest residential community of sex offenders in the country. can they move past their crimes, and how? but that's our report for tonight. for all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> dicky: it's the "jimmy kimmel live" fatah si league, presented by gmc. >> jimmy: hi, i'm "jimmy kimmel live." >> and i'm his cousin sal. >> jimmy: we have a lot to cover tonight. so, let's get to it. >> great matchups in week four of the jklfl. >> a man named kimmel pulled the

plug on the fridge's season. >> jimmy: bill simmons ran rough over jb smoove. dax sheppard edges fiance kristen bell to posthis first win of the season. but the real highlights came after the game. >> oh. >> jimmy: this is ridiculous. >> wow. >> jimmy: this is a fantasy football thing. what's going on there? >> they're making love. >> jimmy: everything all right? >> did we get all the figures in? >> you got all the figures in, huh? >> jimmy: holy mackerel what a check out next week's matchups on the "jimmy kimmel live" youtube page. >> the "jimmy kimmel live" fantasy league. right here, every week. >> jimmy: presented by gmc. >> i'm jimmy kimmel.

>> i'm cousin sal. bang! >> dicky: to follow all the action all season long, go to the "jimmy kimmel live" youtube channel and click on fantasy league for scores, videos and more. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with joaquin phoenix, science bob flpflugfelder. and music from primus.

[ woman ] so, i tried herbal essences with damage protection serum and dreamed i became a movie star. getting all the starring role hairstyles. cut to reality. [ female announcer ] someone's been doing the herbal... herbal essences.

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- joaquin phoenix. "science bob" pflugfelder. jake byrd, celebrity avenger with lindsay lohan.

and music from primus. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, if that's not enough, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hi, everyone. thank you very much, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for coming to visit. i want you to know, tonight, i'm planning to give at least 84%, which is a lot for me. [ applause ] it's more than oprah gives, i'll tell you that. lynn say lohan had a bad morning. as you probably know, she failed -- she failed a drug test order bid the court.

this morning, she showed up for what she sought would be a hearing to schedule bail. instead, the judge denied bail and sent her straight to the lynnwood correctional facility to stay until her next hearing on october 22nd, which would give her almost no time to find a halloween costume. surprise to everyone, including her lawyers. happen in this kind of case. but the judge was tough. and i tell you what, i don't like this new trend of putting white people in jail for minor drug offenses, it's -- [ laughter ] it perpetuates a single standard, you know? there were -- there were no cameras in the courtroom, but it was a major, major news event. i mean, this is -- this is -- the girl from the remark of "herbie the love bug," so -- lindsay's horrible parents were on hand today. her mother, dina, who she wanted, and father michael, who she didn't. who really, they should put the two of them in jail. also on hand today was celebrity superfan jake byrd. there's jake. jake is on hand for all the big celebrity court appearances.

he was at paris hilton's hearing on monday, and he was around to support lindsay today and to help liven up michael lohan's impromptu press conference. >> you can't tell me what i feel when i see her get taken into a jail. >> that's right. that's right. you can't stop a father. >> let him finish, because i'm finished. i have to address shawn and the people that have to get out of her life. >> listen. >> listen, listen for one second. >> whoa, whoa, whoa. she's not mel gibson! >> you cannot stop -- you cannot stop a father from loving his children. >> jimmy: no, you can't. that was jake right there, affirming the fact that lindsay is not mel gibson. you know, whenever a famous person shows up on the wrong side of the law, jake byrd is there to support them. he was there for paris, michael jackson, there for guillermo when he finally gets picked up. but today he was there for lindsay lohan. here's jake byrd at the lohan hearing.

>> i couldn't begin to tell you how many cameras we have here, how many reporters. we're all behind police tape. they're really trying to keep the madness here to a minimum. >> this is so intense. oh, my god. why can't she just huff gas like a normal person? >> they've got officers and deputies in the street trying to control traffic. >> i bet this is her! >> i bet this is her, is that what he said? >> lindsay didn't look worried, on her way in, calm as she walked once again through the gauntlet of cameras and cat calls. >> you look great! not high at all. you look great. follow me on twitter! >> do you think she deserves to she should go to rehab? >> i don't think, either. she slipped up one time, which is hardly any times. it's one more time than zero times and if that's a crime, then so is murder. they're only picking on her because she's a ginger and she does cocaine.

hey, maria, can you take a picture of me for a twitpic? that's a good twitpic. >> she should have never, ever, ever had a face jail time or incarceration in the ucla medical facility. >> why are you so angry? >> he's got a right to be angry. >> i thought i'd be -- i'd rather be in jail rather than my daughter today. i thought i'd be eating a sandwich -- just hope the judge remands lindsay to rehab for a longer period of time. i'm finished. i have to address shawn and the people that have to get out of her life. >> you know, here's the thing. listen, listen, listen, listen -- >> listen. >> listen for one second. >> whoa, whoa, whoa! she's not mel gibson! she's not mel gibson. >> you cannot stop -- >> don't touch my body!

don't touch my body! don't touch my body! okay, but you're touching my body! sorry. freak out. you're touching my body. >> let her live! let her live! lock me up with lindsay! lock me up with lindsay! >> dina's coming out. dina, stay strong. stay strong, dina. hugs not drugs. look on the bright side. tonight's sloppy joe night. stay strong, dina. michael says hi! there goes our ginger princess. i'll wait for you, lindsay! she's going back to lynnwood. [ applause ] >> jimmy: jake byrd, everybody. and, let me just say this -- guess what? about an hour ago, a judge reversed the decision and lindsay lohan was released from the lynnwood correct alpha

silty, thanks to you, jake byrd! >> yes! we did it! we did it! we did it! we did it! we did it! we did it! do you believe in miracles? yes! yes! >> jimmy: hard work pays off. that's, i think, the lesson. [ laughter ] hey, we have more craziness ahead for you. joaquin phoenix is here, you know -- [ cheers and applause ] he spent, like, the last 18 months of his life pretending to be out of his mind. we have music from primus tonight. and also, a gentleman who has been here before, his name is science bob pflugfelder of the boston pflugfelders. [ applause ] he's -- science bob is an elementary schoolteacher. he teaches science. he makes science fun. you know, when i was in school, we had a teacher who made science not fun for us. she made it dreary and sad.

what was her name? >> cleto: mrs. dixon. >> she was like three feet tall. >> cleto: she called me the wrong name. >> jimmy: and she said, for those of you that weren't listening, that was the bell. bell. but science bob is fun. here's some highlights from the last time he was on the show. >> three, two, one, pour. there we go. >> jimmy: whoa! >> pressure is building up now. bubbles are being created -- >> jimmy: i feel like jesus. whoa! whoa! >> powering it up. >> jimmy: okay. oh, it feels weird on my body. oh! >> go ahead. >> jimmy: let me lob. oh! most of the audience was killed that night, so -- [ applause ] that's a warning to you. but tonight, science bob is studio, a real huge cloud. and we're all going to lay on it and play harps. i should also mention that the l.a. feast of san gennaro is going on. it's going to be going all

weekend long in hollywood. this is something i started with my buddy doug in 2001. our ninth annual feast. all the proceed goes to charity. every decent italian american in l.a. comes out for it. faces are kissed, cheeks are pinched. there's a nugget ring on every pinky. it's a great event. to celebrate the feast tonight, to celebrate the people of the feast, we give you our bragging italian guy of the night. >> our buddy was a [ bleep ] bull pen catcher for the mets, right? [ applause ] >> jimmy: name dropper. i'm sure they were very close. some big goings on in the tv business today. the head of cnn got fired today. cnn's ratings have gone down because they keep reporting news. and he's being replaced by the guy who ran headline news. headline news has been beating cnn in the ratings. on headline news, they roll through the stories of the day, which makes for some fantastic

inappropriate segues. i love watching it. going from a serious story to a dumb story. today, they had a doozy. this is our headline news segue of the day. >> the obama administration says it is committed to ending don't ask, don't tell, but says it wants it to be a more gradual process. dog poop. >> jimmy: i -- i cannot wait to hear wolf blitzer do that. [ applause ] there was some controversy yesterday on "sesame street." elmo made this video with katy perry. they released it on the internet, but they're not going to air it on "sesame street" because parents complained that katy perry is showing too much cleavage. and maybe she is. i used to -- i turned the number eight on its side and draw dots on it. this morning, elmo and the

executive producer of "sesame street" were on the cbs "early show" talking about it. and watch elmo's hand there. >> did it occur to you that she was wearing something inappropriate? >> you know, if -- >> jimmy: okay. what is he doing behind that little partition? what has katy perry done to elmo? it's his cherry chapstick there. and -- oh, there you go. well, you know what? looks like elmo's learned to tickle himself, at long last. [ applause ] at this show, we frown on that kind of filth. with that said, it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc, where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> young girls around the world are just crying their eyes out because justin bieber, the singer, apparently [ bleep ] a girl! >> paris says good-bye to japan

after authorities [ bleep ] her fur hours. >> 6:47 now. if you have ever tried [ bleep ] your dog, you know it can be frustrating. >> i got natural talent. >> look out, mr. situation, we're going to have a 12-pack here. >> twitter users, you got a nasty surprise today. you got [ bleep ]. and tonight, we may know who is responsible. >> coming back on the weekends. >> make up your mind, [ bleep ]. >> so far in there, i think it's [ bleep ] my brain. >> that's good. >> oregon senator has proposed a tax credit for [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. >> you know when you're in line behind somebody who is ordering what i just said and all you want is just a black [ bleep ]. it a pain. >> baby jaguar says his boo-boo feels all better. hey, dora. you made baby jaguar feel better. >> jimmy: hey, we have a good show tonight. science bob pflugfelder is here. we have music from primus. and we'll be right back with joaquin phoenix, so stick around.

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>> jimmy: feast of san gennaro going on all week here in hollywood. with us tonight on the show, an elementary science teacher from boston. the kind of teacher that we all wish we'd had, one who blows things up and explodes things in your face. science bob pflugfelder is here with experiments to delight us all. tonight we're going to make a cloud in the studio. and then eat it. then later, their oddity faire tour begins tomorrow night in vancouver, they're back in the states starting october 1st in minneapolis.

primus, from the bud light outdoor stage. next week on the show, joel mchale will be here, sigourney weaver, tom bergeron, dane cook, busy phillips, vanessa williams, "dancing with the stars" victim number two. we'll have music from randy houser, sharon jones & the dap-kings, the avett brothers, and maroon 5. so join us then. our first guest tonight is an oscar-nominated actor who quit acting a year and a half ago, but it turned out that when he said he quit acting, he was acting. the result of that elaborate hoax is a new movie called "i'm still here." it is in select theaters now, and available everywhere there's an internet connection on itunes and ondemand. please say hello to joaquin phoenix. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look so normal

now. i don't know what to make. >> you look well, too. >> jimmy: thank you. i appreciate that. good to see you. >> you, too. >> jimmy: for those who don't know, you were -- you had -- it seemed like you lost your mind about 18 months ago. but it turned out that was not the case at all. you were pulling a prank of everyone. >> we were trying to make a film. a prank sounds like we were doing it for our own kicks and it really wasn't about that. we wanted to do a film and we wanted it to be as authentic as possible. and so we were maybe a little deceitful. >> jimmy: a little bit. that's all right, though, in the name of entertainment, i think. >> i think that you do that all the time in movies, you know, in some ways, so -- >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> i think it was ghost face killer that said, "life's a stage." so, i -- i think that we all kind of play our parts.

>> jimmy: he did say that, >> i think so. >> jimmy: and so, but -- people in hollywood, like, not too many people knew what you were up to. >> no, i don't think so. my agents knew and my publicist and my family and close friends but -- >> jimmy: i really enjoyed watching the movie. i love that kind of thing. it doesn't happen often enough for my liking. i was trying to figure out who is in on it, who is not in on it. some people really seemed like they weren't in on it. was everyone in on it? >> well, not everyone. we did, you know, i did shows -- so absurd. i did shows, and, you know, the audience wouldn't know and people at the venues that didn't know. diddy knew. stiller knew. >> jimmy: you did rap shows -- you quit to become a rapper. essentially, you made the corey feldman story, and, but -- you did it kind of on the fly with people that didn't necessarily know what was going on in the audience.

let's show a clip. this is diddy. you are trying to convince him to produce your album. >> it just sounds so ridiculous. >> jimmy: it is ridiculous. >> what's up man? obviously, great success in film and music. and, what i want is to be something -- >> you have money to do this? >> like how much? i have a little studio, did you know? like, my garage -- >> see, that's a problem. when people try to do things, they don't try to do it -- they do it for they own industries. when you make a movie, you got money to make a movie, right? >> what i want it to be is a place -- >> can you do that in acting? >> well, i do, that's the thing. as an actor, you're shielded. it's a different -- i mean, you know this. >> lights, [ bleep ]. lights. >> jimmy: he's right on that. you got to have lights.

[ cheers and applause ] >> i -- i'm applauding diddy. i think he's a genius. >> jimmy: there's one part of this movie, one of the greatest, i guess, i don't know what you edward james makes this speech to you, he appears to be counseling you. that's unbelievable. i actually taped it and listened to it over and over again because it's unbelievable. was that -- >> casey affleck wrote that speech. >> jimmy: that's something else. that's where i started thinking, i know you guys said it's a hoax, but i go in and out of trying to figure out who is in on it -- >> yeah, edward knew, also. but you had a really great idea about doing a remix or something -- >> jimmy: well, yeah. i was thinking it would be great if somebody took that little speech and made it into a song, like they did with that -- >> the double rainbow. that's fantastic. they should. >> jimmy: they did it there. i'll get to work on that, if you don't mind me violating your copyrights. >> please. please. violate away.

>> jimmy: now, was david letterman the only one not in on this -- >> he was not in on it. >> jimmy: why him, of all people, to not tell? >> i don't -- i don't know why we didn't tell him, honestly. just -- >> jimmy: it seems like if you told diddy, you could tell dave. i mean, you know? >> it was a different thing. it was a different situation. i don't know how to answer that question at all right now. >> jimmy: i have to say, again, i enjoyed the movie. i know there's a lawsuit pending of some kind between you and letterman, but i was a little bit disappointed in one thing. we did something for the movie, i knew what was going on -- >> dude, come on, man. >> jimmy: you told me it was going to be in the movie, but it didn't make it in the movie. >> i was pulling for you, man, i was. i was honestly, because i think you're a genius, dude -- >> jimmy: i thought it came out good. >> it -- it wasn't. i mean -- no, no, no. we -- he's a great actor, it just -- it didn't -- it didn't feel real.

but we're considering putting it on the dvd as an outtake. i brought it, if you want to see -- >> jimmy: yeah, i would like to see it. >> can we roll it? >> jimmy: this is -- should we set it up at all? the scene, i guess, we were trying to do -- >> i wanted to -- i wanted to work with the band and i thought that would be a good idea. >> jimmy: with cleto and the guys. and you were trying -- >> i thought i would come out, kind of do a thing and be a regular on the show, because letterman shut me down, said i can't come on that show. i said maybe this would happen, and -- >> jimmy: i thought my acting was really good, but well, let's take a look. it's going to be -- >> you all be the judge. >> jimmy: okay. >> what's up? >> hey, how are you doing? >> you all ready? what's going on? you guys psyched? >> yeah. >> let's cook something. ♪ i feel like i'm living in hell ♪ ♪ on jkl

>> hey, joaquin. what's going on in here? what's going on in here? >> i'm going to be in the house band. >> in the house band? we can't have a rapper in the house band. >> cut. jimmy, i think -- you just have to make it a little more natural. just relax. you come in, you see him, you don't know why he's here -- >> jimmy: more natural. >> if you actually came in, what would you say? don't just go -- >> just bring it down a little bit. >> all right. >> start again. >> joaquin, we can't have a rapper in the house band. >> really want it to feel real, so -- if you're doing something that doesn't feel real, it's not going to work. >> just rushing the scene and stealing my line doesn't make it more real. >> all right, let's just try it again. just try to bring it down a little bit. >> jimmy: should i go back out? >> let me get in the whole flow

of the thing. ♪ i'm in hell tonight on jkl >> i'm knocking and no one's hearing me. >> cut. forget the knock part. the camera's not on you. >> i won't knock. >> let me get into -- >> jimmy: i just don't want people to think i'm rude. >> it's not rude to cut off another actor's line. that's not rude. >> jimmy: okay, you're right, all right. >> action. >> jimmy: oh, hey, it's joaquin phoenix. white you are here? >> cut. >> jimmy: what's up? >> and cut. action. >> jimmy: hey what's up man? how you doing? how are you? >> that sounds weird. >> jimmy: trying to be friendly. >> action. >> what the hell -- let's not make a mockery of this, man. i don't think this is working. i don't think it's going to work. >> let's do one more and then -- >> jimmy: come in now? >> one second. action.

>> jimmy: how are you? >> all right. right. i think we got the scene. >> i feel pretty good about it. >> that was different. >> jimmy: did you like it? >> i did. >> jimmy: i did, too. i actually did. >> very tender. >> jimmy: so this will be in the movie then? >> definitely. >> jimmy: awesome. thanks, guys. thanks for including me. >> no, i -- thank you. >> jimmy: thank you, too. tell your brother i said hi. >> i will. >> i'm not going to do that. >> jimmy: you did say i was going to be in the movie. you said definitely. >> we did. definitely, i said? >> jimmy: you did. it's all right, as long as it's on the dvd, it will be fine. this is definitely, definitely,

and i say that sincerely, a movie you should check out. it's called "i'm still here," in theaters now and available joaquin phoenix, everybody. the real one. we'll be right back with science bob pflugfelder. ♪

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>> jimmy: going to love primus out there. our next guest is about as much fun as you could ever ask for in a science teacher, and tonight, his love for chemistry and physics might possibly kill us all. from boston, please say hello once again to science bob pflugfelder. [ cheers and applause ] hello, bob. how are you? >> doing great. >> jimmy: thank you for coming. what grade do you teach? >> elementary science. >> jimmy: okay, so -- >> a little unique. >> jimmy: they love this stuff, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i can only imagine. where do you get that lab jacket? >> you have to make it yourself. this one you got to make yourself. >> jimmy: it says i'm smart and stylish. >> i like that. thank you. >> jimmy: so, our first experiment -- >> demonstration. >> jimmy: is going to be doing what?

>> we got a little food chemistry. >> jimmy: okay, great. >> a lot of people know about calories, they count calories, but they don't know what a calorie is -- >> jimmy: it's something related to heat. >> it is. [ applause ] awesome, excellent. yeah, it gets technical, it's like how much heat, you heat up a certain amount of water, things like that. >> jimmy: the heat, like a hot air balloon times you up and makes you fat. >> similar to that. >> jimmy: and you could fly away. >> absolutely. so, we can -- i'm always looking for ways to visualize this. we should probably put on goggles. there's a flame here. >> jimmy: all right. i like anything that i have to wear goggles for. >> i've got some chemical called potassium chlorate. it's an oxidizer. and it can actually release oxygen. and it can give us an idea of what foods have a lot of calories and what don't. >> jimmy: this is how they find out how many calories are in food -- >> probably not in a lab or anything. but it's kind of fun for teaching.

>> jimmy: let's start with something healthy. >> i'm going to crank this up. we have to make this molten. so, yeah, we got some -- this is celery and -- >> so -- there we go, we got that almost there. >> jimmy: got to get it liquid. >> what will happen is, this will release the oxygen and give us a reaction and give us how much energy is in that food. >> jimmy: should i do it? >> drop it in there. >> jimmy: this is a healthy celery snack. >> see, a little popping, little fizzing. not much going on there at all. >> it's a low calorie food. then we go to a high calorie food. >> jimmy: like? >> we got candy here. >> jimmy: let's kill a gummy bear. >> yeah, put it in the hot tub. >> jimmy: why would you do this to gummy bears and not those bratty sour patch kids? >> you could. >> jimmy: wow!

>> there's oxygen being created and then -- i think -- >> jimmy: it smells terrible. it doesn't smell gummy at all. it smells really, really bad. this is a good lesson for kids. don't put gummy bears in -- wow. >> that's a lot, yeah. >> jimmy: could you do this with a real bear if you don't have gummy bears at home? >> i've never tried. >> jimmy: let's do some other stuff here. that was pretty good. >> so i found -- i'm a big fan of slime. >> you can use it to teach about matter, it's -- >> jimmy: nickelodeon stuff. >> i found a way to combine slime and combustion. >> jimmy: finally. >> yes. so, come on over to the shooting range here. >> jimmy: okay. [ applause ] wow. look at this. what do we have here? >> all right. so, what i -- >> jimmy: oh, my god.

that's a bong. this is what you're showing the kids? >> it's -- maybe you are heard of a potato cannon. >> jimmy: okay, yeah, i have. >> so i've taken the idea of a potato cannon, i found potatoes kind of boring, so i created a mortar of slime. we're going to fill this up with a combustible aerosol. >> jimmy: and we're going to kill everyone. >> yate a lot of energy and hopefully propel this out. so, just hold this -- >> jimmy: i feel like a ghostbuster here. >> i'm going to just spray some in there. >> jimmy: get a little on my head, too, if you don't mind. >> i'm going to cap that. go ahead and spray another one here. and we've got some very nervous looking -- >> jimmy: tighten this? >> yeah, sure. >> jimmy: all right. >> jimmy: oh, nice. it's like a war on adorable animals.

>> all right. ready? >> jimmy: i'm ready. >> aim. fire! >> jimmy: oh, wow! let's look at that? slow motion, if we could. do we have a replay? oh, my goodness. we decimated those pigs. >> kind of got obliterated. >> jimmy: that was great. and you can get these at any walmart, right? wow, that was great. all right. >> all right. >> jimmy: let's do the next thing. >> you talked a little bit about a cloud. >> jimmy: yeah, clouds. >> and cloud a basically, it's water vapor. >> jimmy: okay. >> so, we've got some kind of extreme chemicals here. >> we have liquid nitrogen, 321 degrees below zero. >> jimmy: that's cold. >> almost boiling water. >> jimmy: okay. >> a difference here of 500 degrees. we're going to mix them together. >> jimmy: we're going to get in that. let's get you geared up here.

>> jimmy: safety glasses over the safety glasses? seems like overkill, but i'll go for it. all right. [ applause ] my eyes have never felt so safe like they do right now. >> so what we're going to try to do is, we're going to put the liquid nitrogen in here, and then we're going to add the hot water. it will vaporize the water and condense it and we'll get to see a little cloud. >> jimmy: let's do it. here we go. you need your gloves. >> more than a quarter second on your skin and it -- >> jimmy: i always thought only god could make a cloud, but science bob, too. >> careful there. >> jimmy: is this dangerous? >> more than a quarter second on your skin, and it's frozen. let's keep going. >> jimmy: yeah, dump it all.

i don't know how you got that on the plane. >> okay. i'll get that. >> jimmy: i'm going to dive into that? i could easily fall into this, right? >> i didn't think of that, but yes. all right. hold this, it's hot. careful. >> jimmy: don't worry, i'm going to be careful. >> here's the secret. i give you the countdown. when you dump it, one quick thing. just flip it over and dump inside there. >> jimmy: all right. all right. >> excellent. good luck. i'll be back here. >> jimmy: tell me when. we're going to make a cloud. i never made a cloud before. whoa! >> wow. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. wow. wow. all right. i wish -- i wish i could have seen that. [ applause ] i tell you something -- i feel like -- i feel like michael lannon in "highway to heaven."

thank you for that. for more information, go to jimmykimmellive.com or science bob's website. thanks very much. science bob pflugfelder, everybody. we'll be right back with primus. [ announcer ] complete opposites in complete harmony.

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>> jimmy: fresh from their tour the oddity faire, here with the song "pudding time," primus! ♪ ♪

♪ you can have a lollypop a candy bar a jelly bean i'll buy you a rainbow ♪ ♪ to hang above your door it's pudding time it's pudding time it's pudding time ♪ ♪ ♪ laughter is a sweet you can't put a price on when laughter's all gone daddy won't buy you more ♪ ♪ it's pudding time it's pudding time children ♪

♪ money money money money money money ♪ ♪ money money money money money money money money money ♪ daddy's gonna buy you a diamond ring ♪

♪ humpty dumpty sat on a wall humpty dumpty ♪ ♪ had a great fall all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put humpty ♪ ♪ together again ♪ san francisco bay the striped bass are dying but you're gonna get ♪ ♪ that brand new bike oh joy it's pudding time it's pudding time children ♪

♪ it's pudding time children it's pudding time children it's pudding time children it's pudding time children ♪ ♪ it's pudding time children it's pudding time children it's pudding time children it's pudding time children ♪ ah mom, you still clip coupons? well, it all adds up.

that's sweet mom. in honor of your thriftiness, i'll serve- [jack's voice] 2 croissant sandwiches for just 3 bucks. made with fresh egg, sausage or our new hickory smoked bacon and melting cheese. your such a good son. i'm so glad you dropped by! i love coming home mom. patty, call the doctor. it's been more than 4 hours... hi jack. i say balone