ws time now for tonight's closing argument. the leftward leanings of keith

olbermann are no secret. the network adopted the tag line "lean forward" an illusion to its progressive bent. but today olbermann made political contributions to democrats. the network suspended him without pay. so tonight, we ask, does that punishment fit the crime? should he be held to the same standards as reporters? tell us what you think at the "nightline" facebook page or at the "nightline" page at abcnews.com. and that is our report for tonight. we hope you have a tre mmendous weekend and for all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel here with guillermo, uncle frank and yehya at tgi friday's, the place to be for dinner or late night when you want to turn your frown upside down. because in here, it is always friday. >> no, i don't think so, jimmy. >> jimmy: you don't think what? >> you cannot always be friday.

>> jimmy: well, yeah, technically, but it's the spirit of friday. >> no, jimmy. guillermo is right. it's six day of the week. >> jimmy: actually, there's seven days in a week. >> it was tuesday. >> jimmy: right, but i'm sure it was like a friday because of the fun you had. >> are you calling uncle frank a liar? >> you have some nerve. >> i've never been so insulted in my life. >> jimmy: i'm going to go sit over at the bar. >> oh, good for you, go jump with the ladies, very close here. good-bye. >> dicky: take a photo at your favorite tgi fridays and logon to interthe sweepstakes for your chance to win a trip to see "jimmy kimmel live." tgi friday's in here, it's always friday. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with clint eastwood and rod stewart.

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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- clint eastwood. and rod stewart. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, for the most part, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show.

i thank you for coming. thank you for watching. you're here on a very special night. even our studio audience is famous tonight. we have an nhl team in the audience tonight, the carolina hurricanes are here. visiting us. and -- my number one favorite sports franchise named after a natural disaster. [ laughter ] and -- thanks for coming. you're in town to lose to the kings last night, right? right? and mission accomplished. this is the fewest teeth we've had in the audience since, i think, the cast of "dog the bounty hunter" was here. oh, guys, please, this is not show. these hockey players. it's just how they say i love you. put them in the box. it will be fine. what a night. and there's much more manhood on the way. rod stewart and clint eastwood are here. [ cheers and applause ]

i actually saw them -- i went to say hello backstage. they're working on a duet right now. it's called "have i told you lately i feel lucky punk." so that will be fun. clint eastwood has never been here before. so -- this is going to be xirting for him, i'm sure. [ applause ] going to be thrilled. i don't want to bring anybody down but it's a sad night for fans of the show "jersey shore." the season two finale. time to go their separate ways. and let me tell you, say whatever you want about them, these kids are going to miss each other. >> who told you that? >> that's what i heard. >> from who? i said that she's fake. what are you talking about? >> didn't say words that came out of anybody's mouth. >> no -- >> what am i supposed to do? >> i don't care. you're all [ bleep ] --

>> jimmy: sometimes it's hard to say good-bye. it did turn into kind of a sad episode tonight. j-woww sold her breast implants to buy situation a muscle shirt but he had already sold his muscles to buy j-woww a support brow, and -- i hope next year the situation comes back fat. wouldn't that be great? let's make that happen, america. if you see the situation anywhere, bring him a pie or something. my aunt chippy is not a big fan of the shenanigans of the show. part of it is because she's italian. and she thinks it gives italian a bad name. well, she really just doesn't like anything, right uncle frank? >> true, true. >> jimmy: including uncle frank. now, here are aunt chippy's thoughts on the season finale of "jersey shore." >> these kids are such trash, they have nicknames like snooki,

situation, j-woww -- because they don't want anybody to know who they really are. that's why they have the nicknames. go ahead, jimmy, say, wow, what about chippy, you little -- [ bleep ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what did i do? all right, well, what about chippy then? her real name isn't chippy. it's concetta. she took the nickname because she doesn't want anybody to know who she really is. nicknames are big on the show. if you watch the show, you know the letters gtl stand for gym, tan, laundry. the guys on the show will drop off their laundry, go to the gym, then to the tanning booth and then back to pick up the laundry. it's time consuming, and exhausting. i get tired before i even get to the g, to be honest with you. but now there's a way to take care of your gym, tan and laundry, the new fashioned way, all at once. >> the men of "jersey shore" have a daily ritual summed up in three little letters.

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[ cheers and applause ] it's a value. more -- more great news for vikings quarterback brett favre. his wife has a new book out and she's doing interviews now to promote it. if she really wanted to promote it, just bought some ad space on her husband's penis, because that is getting serious exposure right now. photographs of brett favre's alleged genitals are all over the internet which for his wife makes it the perfect time to go on a book tour. >> he will not deny the allegations of inappropriate behavior. with the female employees when he was with the jets. what can you share with us this morning about that? >> i can tell you that faith, you know, obviously, i'm a woman of faith, and faith has gotten me through many difficult struggles, and it will get me through this one, and that's the reason shane and i wrote the book, "the cure for the chronic life." >> there are so many people who care about you, who know you, who want the best for you and

want to know how -- i know that your faith is very important, but how you are handling this. and how you and brett together are handling this. >> i'm handling this through faith. >> jimmy: just to be clear, faith is her divorce attorney, and she's planning to do a number on somebody. by the way, she and jen sterger the woman that favre is suspected of sexually harassing look a lot alike. i mean, a lot. maybe brett just got confused. you know? he's had a lot of concussions. i don't know. i've heard worse excuses than that. this is something. in syria, a 5-year-old boy and a 3-year-old girl are engaged. it's his second marriage, her first. the boy's parents and the girl's parents are taking it seriously. they bought the kids rings. these are the kids. this is crazy. he's almost twice her age, first of all. by the time he's 60 she'll only be 58, right? tickle me elmo is the best man. this is not -- can you imagine this? the boy's father said he vowed

to make sure his son was already engaged by the time he turned 6. but they're going to wait to hold the marriage until the boy turns 15, which, that's good. let him get through the lego phase first. and then -- [ laughter ] they're very serious in syria, well, maybe that explains the name. this morning here in california, the great california shakeout, our annual state-wide earthquake drill. you learn a lot from these things. did you know that if you get girder, you're supposed to scream, ahh, i'm trapped underneath a steel girder! about 8 million people were expected to participate. we participated here at the show in the drill. not in a practical way. what we did was this. this is adelina. she's one of our crack security guards here at the program. she guards the second floor. and to help prepare her, in case of an emergency, what we did is, we had everyone around her suddenly pretend there was an earthquake going on.

to see what she would do. keep in mind, there was no shaking. we didn't shake the building, just a bunch of people pretending to be thrown around, in front of a confused adelina. enjoy. >> i got, one, two, three, four. the last one was a quick pick. [ siren blaring ] >> it's an earthquake! it's an earthquake! [ laughter ] [ siren blaring ]

[ laughter ] [ siren blaring ] >> jimmy: well -- did the right thing. like an ostrich. very well done, adelina. was that your -- was that your first major earthquake? >> yeah, she told me it was. >> jimmy: that was the first one? >> for her, yeah. >> jimmy: do you feel better prepared now? >> i will. >> yes, we talked to her. translating for her tonight? >> that was great. >> jimmy: oh, great.

thanks, uncle frank. the names sound very similar. you know, even if you don't live in an area where there are earthquakes it is still good to know what to do, in case you are traveling or something like here now to answer your questions and possibly save your life, our safety expert, dr. uncle frank. >> dr. uncle frank here, helping to keep you healthy. we have a question. what should you do if an earthquake happens while you're going to the bathroom. >> oh, my god. it depends. number one or number two? number one, stop. you don't want to add to the confusion. number two, again, stop. no more confusion. no movement from you. don't add to it. >> jimmy: all right, well, that's -- [ applause ] very good advice. tell that to adelina. it's thursday night, time for your weekly tribute to the fcc during which we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship."

>> now with a story megan finds strangely relatable, the lengths lindsay lohan will go to [ bleep ] some [ bleep ]. >> what? >> justin bieber [ bleep ] a 12-year-old. >> and cops are called to investigate. >> another wild season of [ bleep ] and hard [ bleep ] on the hit mtv series "jersey shore." >> can we do this? >> yes we can. >> are you [ bleep ] up and ready to go? >> what's the easiest thing someone can do to really piss off your wife? >> um, [ bleep ] her face. >> it's a very intense experience and, corky really [ bleep ] me hard. >> you can no longer [ bleep ] in long beach city parks and recreations areas. >> on the last day of shooting, she let me put my [ bleep ] in her ass. >> if you're gay and you want to [ bleep ] your [ bleep ], why not? >> so grab your swim suit, i'm diving deep, looking for [ bleep ] with katie heigl.

hot tub drama. >> i love [ bleep ]. >> my new brothers are going to teach me a move. called happy tap owe ka. i don't know what it is, but apparently i'll be [ bleep ] [ bleep ], submerged in pudding. see you around. >> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight. rod stewart is here. and we'll be right back with clint eastwood, so stick around. here, take the card. you go to the shops... i'll meet you at the gate. thanks. please remove all metal objects out of your pockets. with chase freedom you can get a total of 5% cash back. fun money from freedom. that's 5% cash back in quarterly categories and an unlimited 1% cash back everywhere else. and this too. does your card do this? i'm going to need a supervisor over here at gate 4. sign up for this quarter's bonus today. chase what matters.

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>> jimmy: thank you, cleto. thank you. you've stopped by on a good night. many times i'll say we have great guests for you tonight and about 40% of the time, i'm lying. tonight, i speak only the truth. the best of the best are here with us tonight. one of the finest performers in

pop music history -- his new record is out this week -- called "fly me to the moon -- the great american songbook, volume five," rod stewart is here to chat and delight us from the bud light stage. but first, dirty harry is here. our first guest is a five-time of carmel and, though i have not investigated all the countries, probably the coolest guy in the world. his latest directorial effort, "hereafter" starring matt damon, opens nationwide in theaters thunderstorm. please say hello to clint eastwood. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's great to see you. it's really great to have you here. >> what a nice crowd. >> jimmy: yeah, they're nice. they do seem nice. can i tell you a story just to start things off?

>> all right. >> jimmy: all right. in, i think, probably 1978, cleto, my band leader and i, who was not my band leader at the time, we were children, went to go see "every which way but loose." when we came out of the theater, we decided, i personally decided that i wanted to, for my life, travel around the country fighting guys with an orangutan in my truck. because of you. unfortunately, that didn't happen. i wound up just joining the high school band instead. >> you haven't done too bad. >> jimmy: things worked out all right. i heard you were in the high school band. which surprised me. >> well, that -- the high school band, i was -- i -- in junior high school i played flugelhorn. >> jimmy: really? >> i started out there. in those days, it was a classical instrument. i didn't want to do that. i was looking for a trumpet or something. and this was long before clark terry and all these guys who

made it popular in later years. but -- and i fooled around with the piano and various instruments. sort of a jack of all trades, master of nothing. >> jimmy: do you play the horn now? >> no, no. these lips have never touched flugelhorn. >> jimmy: did you realize that flugelhorn wasn't the path to picking up chicks, maybe? because i didn't understand that with my clarinet. >> i know. i thought actually -- i went to a party and some guy played the piano and he didn't play too much, but all the chicks would come around the piano and i thought, this is okay. so i went home and started practicing. i figured i could play that much. but if i would have kept practicing and really studied, i could probably be sitting in a nice little saloon somewhere with a little glass, put a couple -- put another dollar in there. >> jimmy: it could have all worked out very differently. >> play rod stewart's song book. >> jimmy: you could be.

doing album number six. [ applause ] i love the idea also that you learned the piano to help you pick up girls as if -- did you need any help in that area ever? i imagine you losing your virginity at like 6 years old. not often, i don't imagine it, but that's what i have in my head. >> not quite, but you know, it does give you a little conversation piece. >> jimmy: doesn't hurt. what year did you come to los angeles? >> i came down -- i lived down here for a short time when i was young. and i came back down here after i got out of the army in 1952, and i was going to l.a. city college and kind of hanging out. >> jimmy: what did you do for work when you first came here? >> well, i was going to college, on the g.i. bill, and i worked at a gas station across from the unemployment office down there on santa monica boulevard, which i later became very familiar with.

that's the lament of being an actor. >> jimmy: trouble at the gas station? >> yeah, exactly. that i was working at. and there were things like that. and then later, after i became an actor, i got a job digging swimming pools. >> jimmy: swimming pools? >> yeah. >> jimmy: wow. i imagine that people probably some of those swimming pools are still -- >> still empty. >> jimmy: somebody's got a pool that clint eastwood dug for them. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: that's probably, it really helped you in a way, because you became muscular and started beating people up with the monkey. >> yeah. that was a few years back, though. >> jimmy: do you keep in touch with clyde, by the way? >> yes, we write. >> jimmy: you do. >> we talk. >> jimmy: will you tell him that i said hello? >> yeah, i will. tell him about your dreams. >> jimmy: i loved when he flipped everyone off. i thought, if i could have that in my car, i would be so happy.

>> oh, yeah. fingers that long. >> jimmy: you came and obviously you wanted to be -- did you want to be a movie star? is that something that was in your plan? >> not particularly. but a friend of mine said, look, i go to this acting class in the evening, i said, what do you want to do that for? he said, well, there's a lot of great chicks there. no, but seriously, he said, it's really fun. and, so, i went down and watched one night and i said, hey, this isn't bad. it was about 30 women in the class and about four guys. i said, well, this class needs me. i should be here. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's great. it seems to be the reason behind everything, really. 57 movies, we found out today, you have only been killed in three of those films. do you have a no death clause or something? >> no, no. not at all. but sometimes the story calls for you to expire and other times the story calls for you to

make it to the end. >> jimmy: expiration seems to be the overall theme of "hereafter," which is about the hereafter, and your exploration of it. i think -- i love seeing what people think -- and i don't know if this is what you think the afterlife is like, but i like to see, especially when directors in movies, will kind of say, here is what i think it's like. it is comforting that somebody has an idea, even if you don't really. do you believe that there is a >> well, to some degree, but i've only died in three movies, so -- >> jimmy: right. >> that gives you an indication that i'm not just nuts about going to the bank with it all. >> jimmy: do you think if there is one, will you get into it? >> the heaven part of it i don't know. maybe. >> jimmy: the hereafter, for sure. >> you know, it's a funny thing, because everybody thinks about it, anyway, most religions

believe in it, and a lot of people think, well, what happens, and younger people, especially, older people kind of resigned to it. well, if it's bonus time, great, but you know, a lot of times when you are younger, your parents talk about it and everything, and, but i'm not sure. >> jimmy: do you think about it less now than you did when you were younger. >> i think so, yeah. >> jimmy: have you had a genuine near death experience? >> yeah, i've had a couple close calls. but i didn't see any visions or anything. the people who give you the idea of seeing the silver light and all this, and see relatives coming at them and what have you, which is a common kind of vision that they have, are usually people that have actually died, they have actually died for two or three minutes and were revived. i know people that have done that, and they claim that that's true. >> jimmy: you know, and you wonder if that's what comes out because that's what you have always heard or if that's something that really happened, or -- >> maybe. i wonder the same thing.

is it psychologically induced or is it something that -- >> jimmy: and you wonder why your relatives are there. these are the people you spend your whole life trying to avoid, and then suddenly -- [ laughter ] >> exactly. >> jimmy: maybe they didn't go to heaven. >> that's a terrific point. why would you want to go see a lot of people you've been trying to get away from. you take the hereafter would be something, like, a lot of really nice new people. >> jimmy: yeah, sure. like a cheerleading team or something. >> the dallas cowgirls come out there. >> jimmy: you worked with matt damon. why matt damon? did you want to work with somebody less masculine -- and he's -- >> jimmy: i disagree. i -- he's -- >> well, okay, that's your opinion. and you may be right. but -- we worked together in "invictus" and he wanted to be in this --

>> jimmy: i see him more as a million dollar baby. that's a role that he was born to play. he and i have had some bad blood over the years -- >> oh, yes, i do remember that. something about -- >> jimmy: yeah, some things happened. i may be a little bit biased. >> i remember. >> jimmy: but the movie really came out great. and there's a sequence -- we're going to show a clip that is -- and i'll tell you, and this might not be interesting at all. i used to have this -- this is almost identical to a dream inused to have over and over again. so, for me, it hit especially -- well, show the clip, this is from "hereafter," opens nationwide tomorrow. >> i like this one. you have more like this? yes?

>> jimmy: whoa, yeah. i used to have that dream over and over again of a tidal wave. you brought it to life. >> were you the girl running down the street? >> jimmy: i was the girl, yeah. i was a pretty little girl. >> i tell you, yeah, it is -- it a scary experience. but you know, four years ago, they had that big tsunami out in asia, and peter morgan, who is the screen writer, wrote all that into the picture, as, incorporated it into a fictional story, so it really worked out. >> jimmy: it works great. and the movie is terrific. thank you so much for being here. great to have you here.

"hereafter" opens tomorrow. clint eastwood, everybody. we'll be right back with rod stewart.

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>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. our next guest is in your heart, he's in your soul. he's a legend in music with a new cd, oh, here it is. it's called "fly me to the moon, the great american song book, volume v." please welcome rod stewart. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's great to see you. thanks for coming. >> how are you? >> jimmy: good, how are you? how is everything? >> fabulous, fabulous. >> jimmy: very good to see you. congratulations. i hear you're expecting another child. >> yeah. that's number eight. >> jimmy: number eight.

is that -- will you keep going? >> no, the shop is now closed. no more. >> jimmy: has the shop been surgically closed -- >> no, no, never do that. never touch the old winkle. no, no, we're -- >> jimmy: very good advice. >> they're expensive. have you got kids? >> jimmy: i thought the meant the winkle. yeah, i have a couple of kids. >> well, that has cost me a lot of money over the years. >> jimmy: half and half and half. >> kids are expensive. >> jimmy: yes, they are. >> even for me. it's ridiculous. >> jimmy: you have a 5-year-old son? >> 4. he's going to be 5 in november. >> jimmy: does he go on the road with you? >> yeah, he does. when we can get him out of school and, you know, sometimes i bring him up on the stage and say, you know, we're in denver tonight, go out and say hello denver. and he said, hello tokyo! because he had been in tokyo and he got confused. >> jimmy: that's cute. it's not so cute when he's 20 and doing that. >> he's a ray of sunshine. >> jimmy: yeah.

well, you got another ray of sunshine beaming into the house pretty soon. this is your fifth great american song book cd. right? will you have as many of these as children or -- >> no, this is -- like the children, this is the last one. >> jimmy: this is the last one. who picks the songs for these albums? >> yeah, most of them i pick and then the record company picks a couple. friends. i listen to anybody. but it's -- you know, it's a bit of a fight sometimes. >> jimmy: with the record company? >> yeah. they're a great record company but there's one track on it that is my wife's favorite and she cried when she heard it, she was in the bath. and it's called "moon river." >> jimmy: oh, yeah, sure. >> and the record company wanted it off -- >> jimmy: they did? >> so i said, listen, if you want to take it out with a two-month pregnant woman, because they're feisty, i said, go ahead. they're like, no, rod, it's okay. fine. >> jimmy: "moon river" remains. it is an old favorite. in fact, our band leader cleto learned how to play piano with that song. and that's the only song he

learned on the piano. he went right to the sax. so, okay. the album, that's it for the great american song books. you're not moving to great mexican song book, or -- >> no, no. no, no, no. it's -- you know, really sells well, my arm could be twisted. but for now, i want to do a blues album and a country album. so much stuff to do. >> jimmy: oh, really? yeah, sure. now, that is -- this surprised me. you've been on the cover of many magazines and, now you're on the cover of another one. model railroader magazine. >> what are you laughing at? >> jimmy: see what's new on the rock and roller's new h.o. layout. what is new on the new h.o. layout? we got -- that's your train, huh? >> yeah, it's a very, very -- i'm very, very proud of it. >> jimmy: no, i happen to know that frank sinatra used to make model trains, right? >> and phil collins, roger daughtry -- >> jimmy: really?

roger makes model trains? >> we e-mail sometimes about our trains. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah. >> jimmy: really? it used to be models and now it's model trains. i think we have some photographs. that's -- now that's a miniature city? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you built that? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's incredible. that's like "inception" or something. >> it's a wonderful hobby. it really is. it's kept me off the streets, that's for sure. >> jimmy: and this is -- wow, it looks like -- >> the downtown part of the city. >> jimmy: that is unbelievable. and this, too -- >> yeah, that's the waldorf astoria hotel. it's not new york. but it's got that feel. >> jimmy: there aren't many trains -- >> the trains are underneath. on it. there's a big layout. >> jimmy: and there's one more -- and that is just -- that is absolutely -- and you must spend -- do you take these on the road with you? >> yeah, i do. i take them on the road. i book up in a hotel and i say, all i need is a big table in a spare room. what are you latching at?

and arrange for a big table and i take the big flight cases and i do projects. i build something, take it back to the -- still laughing. >> jimmy: you have to understand, for us, it's hard to imagine you sitting still, number one, just to start with, and -- >> it's not very rock and roll, i know. >> jimmy: and in a way, it's extra rock and roll because it isn't rock and roll at all. >> yeah, it's tremendous. >> jimmy: though the smell of glue probably gets you -- >> oh, does it get me going. in the old days we used to trash hotels. now they welcome me with a big >> jimmy: trains. you're going to be performing in las vegas, i know. >> yep, indeed. >> jimmy: doing a two-week gig there, at cesars? >> to start with. and see how it goes. >> jimmy: are you doing one of the long-term -- >> well, if i'm asked, i would love to. >> jimmy: oh, really. that would be something. and i understand that you have a little surprise here for -- >> yeah, we have two tickets -- >> jimmy: some big fans in the audience. it's going to be hard to decide.

yeah, this is -- are we going to have guillermo deliver them to somebody? [ cheers and applause ] >> okay. >> jimmy: well, there you go. that's -- eight shows at caesars palace. and that young lady will be attending. aw, look at that. >> because -- celtic. >> jimmy: there go you. rod stewart, everybody. "fly me to the moon, the great american song book volume v" is and we'll be right back with music from rod stewart, so stick around. come on, kids, come inside.

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>> jimmy: here with his take on the classic "beyond the sea" -- from his new album "fly me to the moon ,the great american song book volume v," rod stewart. ♪ ♪ somewhere beyond the sea somewhere waiting for me my lover stands on golden sands ♪

♪ and watches the ships that go sailin' somewhere beyond the sea she's there ♪ ♪ watching for me if i could fly like birds on high then straight to her arms ♪ ♪ i'd go sailin' it's far beyond the stars it's near beyond the moon i know beyond a doubt ♪ ♪ my heart will lead me there soon, yeah

we'll kiss just as before ♪ ♪ happy we'll be beyond the sea and never again i'll go sailin' ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i know beyond a doubt

my heart will lead me there soon oh, we'll meet ♪ ♪ i know we'll meet beyond the shore we'll kiss just as before happy we'll be ♪ ♪ beyond the sea and never again i'll go sailin' and never again ♪ ♪ i'll go sailin' my heart will lead me there beyond the sea ♪

i inherited my father's '69 norton commando. it's been a dream of mine to restore it. and it's my dream for him to finish it. frank has something great to save up for. this is my dad. isn't that cool? and a very understanding girlfriend. i showed him a wells fargo savings account with my savings plan. [ frank ] and what it does is it takes a little bit of my money and puts it towards my goal. i want to get all the original parts and do it right. for my dad. there's a couple months in between parts. so, one at a time. [ male announcer ] wells fargo. with you when it's time to save. ♪

@@ with you when it's time to save. >> jimmy: i want to thank clint eastwood for being here, apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "fly me to the moon, the great american song book volume v" is the album out now. playing us off the air with "i've got you under my skin", see the full performance at jimmykimmellive.com once again, rod stewart!