welcome to beyond the headlines, i'm cheryl jennings. every week we focus on a different topic. today we're talking about a trend that has made a lot of

headlines, suicides of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth. war going to hear from one california mother that lost and child and we'll be joined by several speakers in what it's like to be bullied and then we'll learn about resources that are out there that are affected. i had an opportunity to talk to allison mercy whose son begin a transformation into chloe. sadly she shot herself to death. they want to get the story out so the parents understand they are not alone. >> hi, allison. tell me about chloe. when did you find out that they were transitioning from a boy to

girl? >> i had an opportunity to speak with chloe. dustin came to me in 17 year of his high school with a letter writing to me explaining to me that he would like to wear girls clothes to bed. the word transgender was not used at that time probably on the education that was used at the time. i do go back and forth with gender, i've known dustin for 17 years and chloe for a year and a half. at that time he came to me in a letter format this is something that he would like to do. he was terrified to speak with me in person as most of transgender community deal with internally their pain. it's very difficult for them to come forward. >> what did you think and how

did you feel what he had to say? >> of course, great concern this is my child, this is my baby. i immediately wanted to do everything i could possibly do to help him at that time. unfortunately he passed it on the at that time in his life. i don't think he was ready. chloe explained to me that i wasn't ready. so its struggle for the parents and children to understand fully what emotionally and mentally is going on at this time of their life. >> how did you embrace the fact that justin became chloe? >> there was no option for me. there is a fear of uneducation, i embraced it fully and knew that i had to get education

professionally and read up and do as much as i could to get outreach so i can help my child get through this. >> how did the community react to your story? >> the community was reacting to my story as we speak now. for the most part i have an overwhelming response from them which is outstanding and empowers to speak this mission for chloe, which is, of course, acceptance. there is part of the community that can't understand and does not relate. they just aren't educated. i don't like to use the word ignorance. education is important. >> so is that part of your frustration with this issue? >> yes, it's a part of my frustration. we just need to work on it, one part at a time, one spirit at a time and it will make change.

if we speak out this will be difficult, 10 years from now, 20 years from now. it's not going to do any good for my chloe. if i can speak out. i know that i will be able to help somebody else. that is what i plan to do. chloe was the biggest giver, her friends and anybody was to know justin and chloe would agree with me. she gave everything that she was and wasn't able to focus on her own self issues that she was dealing with. chloe legacy would be to please, she would want all to accept each other and accept each other in need. >> do sigh when kids like chloe won't be afraid to come forward? >> i do. er see some of that now.

i have been blessed the opportunity to meet the transgender community at large and every time i meet one they have a different story and i take a piece of them and what their experiences and educate myself on behalf of that. i'm growing as an individual. my eyes are wide open. it's a passion for me. >> allison, thank you so much for sharing your story about chloe. my heart goes you to you and your family and i wish you success. >> thank you for the opportunity to speak out. >> this is very courageous woman from fresno. we'll show you clips of the project that was started by a syndicated columnist in response. to send messages to let gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender and other bullied teens know that life will indeed get better.

right now, we have to take a break but we'll talk to state superintendent elect to talk about what we can do. >> what i want to say is this, you are not alone. you didn't do anything wrong. you didn't do anything deserve ton bullied. [ female announcer ] why settle for plain bread grands! flaky layers biscuits? the warm, light delicate layers are like nothing else. add a layer of excitement to your next meal.

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the power to affect you you are letting them win. they don't deserve that. >> welcome back to yon the headlines. we are talking about bullying of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth and suicide. it's more difficult when they are bullied for their sexuality or perceived sexuality. gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth are up to four more times to attempt suicide than other sexual peers. dan ashley takes a closer look and what parents can do to stop it. >> seth's parents knew he was bullied at school but they don't know how bad it was. he hanged himself from a tree in his tehachapi backyard this last summer. he had been picked on for years because he was gay. his suicide is one of many that made headlines across the

country. gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender teenagers who took their own lives. >> i have lost friends. >> we sat down with andre and samati and a.j. as the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community center in san jose. they all came out in high school. they say the bullying is relentless. >> i have been dragged across the quad. >> when i got on boyfriend that is when i heard words from faggot or year. >> doing a national day of protest for gay rights, even teachers weren't supportive. >> most of the teachers from my

school -- >> they really wouldn't stand up for me. even home that i thought were my friends were making fun of me. >> it's getting teens to talk to their parents. caitlin is director of a project at san jose state university. they have been studying family acceptance and rejection and how it affects the health of children. fear can lead to depression and raises the risk of suicide. >> what we have learned from the research that so many young people were terrified to come out to their parents because they would never supported them. >> many parents see bullying as part of life. unaware of the potentially deadly consequences but her research shows that parents don't have to accept or even understand their child's struggle to michael a difference. even a small level of support

from parents to show dramatically decrease the percentage of teenagers that try to kill themselves. >> silence and secrecy are risk factors. >> ryan says ignoring this issue increases the likelihood that a teenager will commit suicide. parents can feel a teen more supported by koolg calling the school, even if the school doesn't take action. at home, parents need to be aware of what is happening in their child's life and tell them they care. >> just sitting and talking with your child, telling them you love them and you'll be there for them. this is so important to give them hope. >> joining us right now is a state superintendent elect tom perfectlyson. now you are in a position to do something about it at the state level. what are they doing to stop bullying?

>> it's a very serious issue. if you talk to parents around the state, safe schools and safe from drugs and gangs and safe from harassment and discrimination on campus. we need to do more. there is a current definitions on the law books about defining cyber bullying, and there are training programs that are better than others. but we need to be more systematic and have clear reporting framework so that teachers and coaches as i saw them as a coach that you intervene. you go and talk to the students and break up the bullying if it's going on in front of you, there needs to be protocols and further action by the state. >> and you talked about cyber bullying, cell phone texting, abusing kids that way, too. >> absolutely. its whole new frontier out there

and electronic bullying can be just as painful if not more painful and hurting because it can be broadcast on youtube or placed in a wide audience. it causes one great harm or humiliation. >> what about the training, standard to train kids? >> i believe we need to do more in the teacher-training preparation for certificates about discrimination in general and type of bullying that has been leading to these horrific suicides. we can do more professional development in the schools. it's tight times in the budget but i think it's so important. the fact that suicide is the third leading cause of death among our youth and someone that is bullied is three to five times more likely to commit suicide. >> it's got stop. what do you think the biggest challenges in curbing bullying? >> i think it's setting up a

framework. we need a zero tolerance framework so that teachers know what to do. believe we need to know that teachers need to intervene right on the spot. a reporting system needs to be set up where the principals of the school are in informed and the principals inform the parents of the person bullied and the student that did the bullying. >> and how do parents get on board, they can't do anything about it. >> i believe taught as part of the education as part of learning good character, good values while you are in school. ultimately the ability to be a good citizen. it should be brought up. anyone who has suffered from discrimination racial or special needs are disabled person, i think they can relate to this fact of discrimination, gay

harassment discrimination bullying, we need to have general respect for each other in our schools. >> are there some laws working their way? >> yes. i talked to my good friend a former teacher tom ammiano who an assembly member here. he is doing legislation that i will be sponsoring him that will requiring framework of parents being notified of any teacher reporting it to principal for action. we hope it will make its way through the legislature. >> we'll follow that with you. we do have to take a break. we're going to hear a first hand account what it feels like to get bullied. stay with us.

if you feel hopeless or help high school right now. >> don't give out your number. >> if you don't have a family member you don't talk to, contact trevor project. >> welcome back. being bullied can have a profound effect on somebody's life. here is somebody to share the

experiences is mike. thank you for being here today. kneel about what happened? >> i grew up in a rural place in pennsylvania. on november 5th a boy named brandon bitner killed himself after being bullied for anti-gay bullying. went to the same high school. it's been a difficult couple of weeks about my school and a child that went through a same experience as i did. >> what was done for you? >> beginning in sev, older boys begin to call my foggot and year and block the hallway. a group of them you were nate on high clothing in the locker room. they pretended to rape me in the hallways and say suafl things to me. my project in the display cases were vandalized.

a groupnts students actually stopped and prayed for me for a week. >> how did you deal with that, seventh grader, right? >> right. you find a lot of ways to cope. i definitely did become suicidal in ninth grade and held a pistol to my head. i teenage it down and i begin to talk to my parents what was going through school. i was fortunate enough to have access to the internet where i found other people who were lbgt too and families helped me after ninth grade. i begin to drive to an hour to a new school. i still had stuff written on my

locker at the new school, but from there i went to college a year early, i went to a school in boston and wrote to them what i was going through. they accepted me without a high school diploma and allowed me to complete it there. i begin to share my story and you arrive you become a better advocate for yourself and your family. i started telling my story in high school and more i shared my story i could make it better for other youth. >> things are much better for you? >> san francisco, you are lot more comfortable being myself in place places like the subway. i have a partner and we walk holding hands. we don't feel like we have to

hide. we have encountered targeted discrimination. we have had people yell things. it doesn't matter who you are or where you live. anyone can experience bullying and discrimination. >> tell bee mee about where you work? >> it's collage, it's a youth network that are gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender. it's great energy. my dad just came out so i started working as my own father came out as gay. like me and brandon, he grew up in the same area. he felt like he had to hide his whole life, as well. >> and also supporting other young people. thank you so much for being here. thank you for sharing your story. i just know it will be better.

>> we'll talk about what you can do if you are being bullied in just a moment.

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ound 100 calories. zero fat. now i love my curves in all the right places. yoplait. it is so good. hi, i'm jim dun and i have an important message for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth. that is, it gets better. it really does. >> welcome back to beyond the headlines. the topic the bullying and suicides of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender teens. right now we're going to talk about what can be done to battle this issue and if you are feeling victimized. and jodie schwartz is the director of a center for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender in san francisco. it's a big category. lots of questions, that is

natural. >> absolutely. its place where i can come. we encourage all our youth to come. we have a lot of folks who are lbgt and they may have friends that are lbgt or may be want to be part of the community. >> how do you get kids to stop bullying? >> a lot of what we do, we have gotten into the schools and done workshops. a lot of people can change after they understand how it impacts themselves. we have done a workshop that explores hate speech in a general way. if you can reflect back on a story or experience you had where you felt that, then that can make a difference in how you treat other people. making it real for everyone in the room. >> is bullying a biggest challenge? >> i think it's a question of

any kind. i think it really is about to be confident and you feel good about yourself and confident on you are you are willing to celebrate other people. so it's about becoming champions for everyone. >> and how they are raised? >> of course. this is what i would say to a young person, sometimes you have to be your own champion to get through. this be your own champion, find your community. we are out there. there are people all over who are ready to love you and accept you for who you are and talk to people, talk to adults in your life. talk to your family. they may not be ready to hear it, but they do love you and to start with that. >> way tonight ask about clear questioning, a phrase people not many people know about? >> clear is a reclaimed term, empowering our community

questioning you don't have to have figure it out to walk through the doors. we're in the castro, three story lavender house and we're there to create a community where you can be yourself and explore and we'll support you whatever. we're not there to recruit young people. we're a youth center just like any other. >> we have about 20 seconds left. tell me more? >> make it better campaign and grew out with a response to saying, well, we're glad that it gets better. make it better is a campaign that talks about what we can do now. it does take policy change but it takes resources. it's really important to ensure that we have that investment. >> we're going to put that on our website. >> very good. >> thank you as much. >> we have had a great show but we're out of time.

i want to say special thanks to our guests today. information about this show is available on our website at www.abc7.com. click on the community page f the you are looking for community resources, 211 for help. i'm cheryl jennings. thanks so much for joining us. have a great week. bye-bye.