their meeting has been on the books for a couple of weeks but today's timing allowed mr. clinton to offer support of mr. obama's tax compromiscompromise has some democrats really >> gibbs will call last 20 minutes on a whole litany of topics. >> in my opinion, i believe the congress, i took my foundation trip to asia. i flew overnight to get here today. i had quite a good time. i had a long talk with the prime minister. deflation. if i were in office now. one more, i got to get out of here. health care. student loan reform. the economy first. thank you. >> that kounlds at monday's briefing. >> reporter: the man loves to

talk policy. like a flash back to '96 there. his bottom line, this is the best deal democrats could hope for at this time, says mr. clinton. but tonight, we ask, by letting the former president take the mike, does president obama help or hurt his cause? is this a sign of confidence or desperate need for an ally? we already heard from many of you on facebook and twitter. we're hoping you'll join the conversation, as well. tell us what you think on the "nightline" page at abcnews.com. that is our report for tonight and the week. for all of us here at abc news, good night, america. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: i want you to know at thanksgiving dinner, the only thing i thanked god for is you. >> that doesn't surprise me. >> one way to do a turkey call is with this gobbler and it has a little diaphragm in it that

allows the air to vibrate. you should try it. >> i want to see this -- >> no, no. >> jimmy: she is going to make a lucky turkey very, very happy one day. this is a variety magazine, they put you on the cover. i want to show you, on the inside cover, look at what that sucker is. on the inside cover. >> you know what we like to call that in our community? top -- bottom. >> yes. >> i think you're so cute. i love it. >> thank you very much. this looks like you have a little strap around you, you know what -- >> regis! >> jimmy: nicki minaj. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with david sedaris, music from nicki minaj and ben affle music from nicki minaj and ben affle affleck. with chase freedom you can get a total you're welcome of 5% cash back in your pocket. fun money from freedom.

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amy & heather: ...one day wonder boys! choir: performance fleece for 5 dollars (that's all) 5 dollars...5 dollars saturday odwb solo: only! amy: i'm so warm and fuzzy. anncr: fleece pullovers for the family, $5 saturday only at old navy. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight --

ben affleck. author david sedaris. and music from nicki minaj. with cleto and the cletones! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, from what i've gathered, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy, thank you for coming. thank you for watching. is it christmas yet? if you're a turkey or a sweet potato and you're still alive

today, congratulations on making it through the weekend. i did some research over the weekend. it turns out it's not the turkey that makes you fall asleep. it's actually the result of being drunk at 4:00 in the afternoon on a thursday. i hope you had a fine thanksgiving. i had a weird -- one of my native american friends turned into a werewolf and ate all my it was very upsetting. other than that, though, it was great. this is pretty good. from a local morning show in san diego. on wednesday, they had a guy on to do turkey calls. i guess in case instead of going to the supermarket you wanted to lure one into your home. but i don't know what the reason was. watch very closely for what happened at the end here. >> one way to do a turkey call is with this gobbler and it has a little diaphragm in it that allows the air to vibrate. you should try it. >> i want to see this. >> no -- [ laughter ] that woman is -- she was going to make a lucky turkey very, very happy one day.

just leapt right in, huh? president obama had an unusual weekend for a president anyway. on friday, he took an elbow to the face and had to get 12 stitches. he's in line at best buy trying to get a $49 bluray player. it's black friday, gets very rough. actually, he was playing basketball. the owner of the offending elbow has been identified as the director of programs for the congressional hispanic caucus institute. sure, blame the mexicans, of course. this morning, arizona immigration officials captured him and sealed him in a pinata and rolled him over the board near nogales so he'll have plenty of time to think about what he's done. you'd think the president's ears would protect him from el domes flying, but -- the president wasn't the only person who sustained a silly injury on friday. this black friday gets crazier every year. i don't know what's going on. black friday of course is the big shopping day after thanksgiving. it's really great. on thursday, we gather around the table to give thanks not for things but for people we love,

truly meaningful things. then friday, we go out and stab each other to save $6.99 on nintendo ds and that, my friends, is the american way. >> a u.s. marine has a wound of bravery. but it did not come during war. the reservist was stabbed while trying to stop a suspected black friday shop lifter. >> a dispute between two shoppers waiting in line outside a local store ends in an arrest. >> cops at this mall, on semi lockdown. started a brawl in the food court. >> shoppers who had just arrived rushed the doors, battling with those who were waiting in line for hours. >> a florida man has been arrested after police say he was packing heat while waiting in line for a black friday sale. he was holding a handgun at his hip, two concealed knives and a pepper grenade. >> jimmy: that's right. so happy birthday, jesus. [ laughter ] i don't understand. you would have to have a handgun and two knives pointed at my head to get me to line up at

5:00 a.m. to fight an old lady for an ez-bake oven. but people -- one store in buffalo, they tried to calm people down by opening the doors at 4:00 a.m. but the enthusiasm outside the store was, i guess, too much to contain. >> as people rushed in to gobble up the sale items, one of the shoppers, keith, had gotten pinned against a metal door support and then shoved from behind to the ground. he began screaming out in pain. as shoppers stepped over and around him. >> it was scary at first but, hey, i got a 42 inch flat screen tv 75% off so overall great day. merry christmas. >> jimmy: so worked out well. [ applause ] we have wily coyote writing jokes for us now. today, we have a new shopping holiday, something we now call cyber monday. it's a day to shop on the web. cyber monday isn't as much fun as black friday.

you can't recreate the thrill of stepping on a fellow shopper's head online. they do have big sales. i bought -- i scored 48 cabbage patch kids. those are still popular, right? i'm going to be uncle of the year for 1985, i'll tell you that. everyone today is talking about these -- the wikileaks. you know this? it's a huge trove of top secret a number of high level secrets revealed including terror threats, military strategies, what happens on the season finale of "the real housewives of atlanta" was revealed. they all die, by the way. it's considered the biggest state department leak since henry kissinger drank a gallon of boxed roset at the white house christmas party in 1974. a henry kissinger joke? i got to start reading this stuff before i come out here. one of the biggest revelations

is hillary clinton asked u.s. diplomats to spy on other country's diplomats. and if they had any extra time, to spy on her husband too. a lot of it is very gossipy. moammar gadhafi of libya apparently has a ukrainian blonde nurse on his arm everywhere he goes and uses botox, which is fun to know. this weekend, the state department is rushing to assure their allies that i guess they didn't mean anything that they said about them behind their backs. but this is a major embarrassment for the government. because besides the classified information, which obviously was also give an idea of what we really think about these various leaders from around the world. for instance, french president nicolas sarkozy, they called him an emperor with no clothes, which is not a compliment. they gave them nicknames. for instance, british prime minister david cameron is known johnny little lips. the president of iran, mahmoud ahmadinejad is known as scruffy mcwindbreaker. chinese president hu jintao, they call him i.t. guy.

german chancellor angela merkel is known as der wienershnizel. the leader of north korea, kim jong-il is known as the lady who owns the korean grocery store. indian prime minister manmohan singh had two nicknames. known as either marge simpson or papa smurf. depending upon your mood. and one -- venezuelan president hugo chavez also known as mr. smelly finger. so -- but hey, angry world leaders, you should all -- in our country nicknames are a sign of affection. what did your parents call you when you were growing up, guillermo? >> gordo. >> jimmy: gordo. that means fat. that's not necessarily something you want to be called, but you loved it, right gordo? >> yes. >> jimmy: meanwhile, a very dangerous criminal named willie nelson is in custody. 77-year-old willie nelson arrested on board his tour bus about 85 miles east of el paso, texas. here's a pop quiz you can take

at home. what was willie nelson arrested for? a, tax evasion. c, public urination. d, possession of marijuana. or e, b and d. b and d is actually the answer. he had -- [ applause ] allegedly had, i personally don't -- i personally believe he was framed. this is willie's mug shot. does this look like a man who's smoking marijuana? [ laughter ] i think we now know for sure what kind of farm he's been aiding all these years. the border patrol said he was in possession of six ounces of weed. willie nelson has six ounces of weed accidentally stuck in his beard. that's not -- at a certain point, don't you just go, he's willie nelson, wave him through? but thank you border patrol for keeping america safe from willie nelson and thank goodness you put an end to his multistate wave of gently singing and strumming a guitar. this could be the wake-up call he needs to turn his life around though.

and let that be a lesson to all you senior stoners. in the eyes of the law, there is no early bird special. you're all going down. speaking of senior citizens, tonight on "skating with the stars," judge dick button had an absolutely magical moment. >> now the scores for artistic impression. laurie ann gibson. >> 7. >> johnny weir. >> 6. >> dick button. >> 8. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's 81, what are you going to do? they're still working out the kinks. yesterday, the houston texans beat the tennessee titans 20-0. it wasn't much of a game with the exception of a great fight in the fourth quarter. look at this. >> finnegan gets the first shot and gets his helmet knocked off. he takes off johnson and now johnson is going to get a couple of good shots in there, or bad shots, if you will. >> jimmy: wait a minute. that is pauly d from "jersey

show." what is he doing on the field? [ applause ] why do you need a helmet when you have hair like that? here's another funny thing too. the bills lost to the steelers in overtime thanks primarily to a pass wide receiver steve johnson dropped in the end zone. >> first and ten. nice block at the guard. going deep. he's got johnson. oh, he dropped the ball! that would have been the game winner! >> jimmy: so he missed the catch. after the game, lashed out on twitter at who? at god, that's right. he said, i praise you 24/7 and this how you do me. you expect me to learn from this? how? i'll never forget this ever. thanks though. [ laughter ] god tweeted back l.o.l. and it's all good. i got news for you, god doesn't tweet. god's thumbs are too big to tweet. he doesn't do it. if god cared about you at all,

he wouldn't have you playing for the bills. he just wouldn't. it's not where he puts his favorites. i guess if you thank god for a win you have to hold him responsible for a loss. one more thing. if we can go back to thanksgiving for a second. it's becoming increasingly popular to deep fry your turkey on thanksgiving. any of you deep fry your turkey? maybe -- okay, well, it's all part of america's health kick. and it's very dangerous if the turkey is too cold. if the turkey is somewhat frozen and you put it in, you got a bomb on your hands. more than 20 million americans were killed deep frying turkeys this thanksgiving alone. it's dangerous. it's the reason there's no kft. it's -- so, tonight, i thought it would be educational and even entertaining to put together a quick video compilation that might help some people to use the oven next year. >> fried turkey now. ♪

>> this is a bad idea. >> oh, boy! ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right -- i don't know. i'm hungry. hey, we got a good show for you tonight. the great writer david sedaris is with us. we have music from nicki minaj. and we'll be right back with ben affleck so stick around.

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>> jimmy: well high there. welcome back. with us tonight, a very, very funny guy. his newest book is called "squirrel seeks chipmunk: a modest bestiary." david sedaris is here. if you don't know david, you should. you'll like him. then later, the first woman ever to have seven songs in the billboard hot 100 all at once. this is her debut album, "pink friday. "nicki minaj from the bud light stage. nicki was on "regis and kelly" this morning, and regis got a little grabby. >> i love the way you dress too. >> you like it? i'm glad you're wearing pink, in honor of pink friday. you're so cute, i love it. >> thank you very much. this looks like you got a little strap around you there, you know what i mean? >> regis! >> jimmy: a little -- regis and kelly are in las vegas this week. tomorrow morning, i will join them there. who knows. maybe regis will play a little grab ass with me. tomorrow night, magic johnson. from "no ordinary family," autumn reeser. and we'll have music from miguel.

later this week, james franco, larry king, kate bosworth, alyson hannigan, greg fitzsimmons and music from darius rucker. so, join us for those shows, too. our first guest is one of our favorite young gentlemen. he is an academy award winner with a new movie called "the company men" opening in theaters december 10th. please welcome ben affleck! [ cheers and applause ] i want you to know that at thanksgiving dinner the only thing i thanked god for was you. [ laughter ] >> that doesn't surprise me. knowing what i know. >> jimmy: how was your thanksgiving? >> it was good. >> jimmy: you didn't notice me outside breathing on the window, a single tear -- >> we noticed. you didn't notice the police? >> jimmy: who did the cooking? you have servants? how does that work?

>> well, you used to do it and -- actually, my wife cooks. she's a great cook. it's out of consideration for her that i don't try to cook. >> jimmy: you seem nervous when you say that. is she really a great cook? >> she actually is. she's incredible. >> jimmy: she made the turkey? >> she made the turkey. the in-laws were here. >> jimmy: oh, nice. >> so that was good. >> jimmy: did you have to take them around l.a. and do that sort of thing? >> we did with the kids, the whole thing. we went to disneyland. yes, i've been there. i've seen it. it's wonderful. >> i'm glad -- interesting you should say that because it turns out it's a little pricey. >> jimmy: it is. very expensive. >> they're not giving those ticket, away. i thought it was like a -- you know, the bears or -- >> jimmy: how many people did >> well, i really was thinking i should hit you up because you're disney/abc, don't you have some connection? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> i slept with this guy, shouldn't i get a bargain off of this? >> jimmy: let me show you something, by the way. hold on, let me see -- oh, yeah, here -- >> i like the wallet.

supposed to protect you from identity thieves. it's a magic wallet. this is my abc employee card. and take a look down in the corner here. discount type -- none. none. so i wouldn't be much help. you really have to go to barbara walters. >> i already asked the cast from "lost." they said ask you. >> jimmy: you have a favorite ride? >> i like disneyland. it's definitely a family vibe, which i kind of -- >> jimmy: you hate disneyland, don't you? magic mountain or something? >> i can't ride the -- magic mountain is a little bit like -- all of a sudden you're in all mat fighting. i don't want to get sued. this is my view. it's like a mosh pit. guys are getting face tattoos. one ride is that they kick your ass. >> jimmy: you're 100% right. weird things going on. >> i was there like in my 20s and kind of like -- guys, keep the car running. we want to -- disneyland's great. tea cups, you know? >> jimmy: heavy security. >> dumbo fly.

>> jimmy: and the kids love it. >> the kids do love it. the kids have a tolerance for going in circles that i don't and nauseates me. my children at 5 can already do a lot more. >> jimmy: there's nothing more masculine than vomiting in front of your children in a giant pink tea cup. yeah, i'm the same way. we're so much the same. we should be together more. >> we should, yeah. it just makes me remember the things that didn't work. >> jimmy: i want to -- well first of all, i want to mention "the town" is coming out on dvd. >> thank you very much. [ applause ] >> jimmy: for which i would like to see you get at least three oscar nominations for this film. for real. >> you would like me to get nominated for things i didn't even do. >> jimmy: absolutely. best actress. >> better joke. >> jimmy: you know, i would like to -- i think jeremy renner definitely should get nominated. [ applause ] everybody. >> i said before, great cast. we had really minimal -- >> jimmy: jon hamm was great. you really did a great job with this movie. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: they'll take out ads

kind of -- to remind people to, like, vote -- >> "us weekly." >> jimmy: this is "variety" magazine. they put you on the cover calling your agent or something. but i want to show you on the inside cover -- look at what that sucker is. on the inside cover. okay? who's on the cover and who's on the inside, the inner cover? [ applause ] >> you'll notice that both those pictures -- >> jimmy: front, not front. >> we like to call that, jimmy, in our community, top, bottom. [ applause ] look -- those pictures look a little strangely meditative. >> jimmy: like you guys are waiting for the call at 5:00 in the morning to see if you're nominated. i wonder if they're going to call? did they call? >> yeah, i look like, yeah, they called. >> jimmy: they called. so that's weird.

you guys are competing against each other. that must be uncomfortable. >> not at all. you and i compete against each other all the time. >> jimmy: we do. in what way? >> just, you know -- >> jimmy: the only competition i feel is from jennifer. that's -- >> well, you should. >> jimmy: i think we've taken this far enough, haven't we? you know -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: new movie, "the company men," finally done a movie set in boston, which is great. [ laughter ] you know there are other places, right? if you look on the map, you'll see all sorts of city names and you can go to any of them. >> i am always trying to do movies elsewhere. and then they'll be like, no, rhode island, that's too far from his wheelhouse. only in boston. no, actually, just did a movie in oklahoma. >> jimmy: oh, really? that's a different place. how did that compare? >> that was great. it was kind of the opposite. everybody was really friendly. i didn't know places like this existed, you know what i mean? you leave your wallet in the store and somebody calls you. hey, i left your wallet and $1,000.

really? people wave. it's like this whole -- >> jimmy: people don't do that in boston? >> um -- it's a different -- they express similar feelings in different ways. >> jimmy: how do they express yourselves? >> [ bleep ] left your wallet down here, your money's gone. i'm kidding. that's not true. >> jimmy: of course, that's not true. >> just a joke on a talk show. >> jimmy: you've got some great fellow actors in this one too. great performances. kevin costner, i thought, played a very different character and was really great in the movie. >> this movie i did actually before "the town." work with guys like that, taking notes, from costner and tommy lee and chris cooper. costner is talking about "dancing with wolves." >> jimmy: you mean tommy lee jones. i don't want people to think it's tommy lee from the boat with pamela anderson. you're not learning anything from him. well, though, maybe you are, i don't know. >> i should be so lucky. >> jimmy: chris cooper is in "the town." okay, so, you -- >> i use the whole movie as basically an exercise into

conning chris cooper to -- >> jimmy: just trying to get in good with him. >> craft service, fill that up, chris? >> jimmy: you can't beat chris cooper. >> i really did kind of tune up for "the town" in terms of being a director, john walsh is an incredible director, learned a lot from him. it was great. as you say, it was incredible, like, legendary cast members. it was a -- >> jimmy: you play a guy who gets fired from his job. who has everything, beautiful house, family, and gets fired and loses his job, which is emasculating and horrible thing for anyone really. you take it particularly hard. it doesn't go well at all. >> no. >> jimmy: and they're not exactly lining up to hire you afterwards. >> no, no, it's really -- it's a story about unfortunately something that's affected -- i mean, i don't think there's anybody in the united states that hasn't been affected some way or another. and some people, many people, 30 million plus gsh -- >> jimmy: oprah hasn't been affected at all. >> i don't think so. but, you know, a lot of people have lost their jobs and we wanted to tell the story about what that means. people -- we identify ourselves with who we are.

i'm accountant, lawyer, late-night comic. if you don't have that, i think it would be quite scary. we wanted to do justice to those feelings. and so what happens there. it's a pretty hopeful story. >> jimmy: we have a clip here. >> the clip belies everything i just said. >> jimmy: the clip's a little bit different then the whole rest of the movie. >> clip's at a point where i'm kind of losing it. i can't get another job. my wife is -- i'm having to sell everything that i own. i'm frustrated by people that i go in interviews with them, they don't take me seriously. i start to implode and lose it a little bit. >> jimmy: here's the clip from "the company men." it opens december 10th. >> it looks like you worked there for 12 years. >> i did, divisional sales leader. i know times are different now one-tenth and hope for bonuses. >> well, our base salary is $65,000 a year for regional sales directors. >> i responded to an ad for the vice president of marketing. >> well, we've had a number of highly qualified occupants for that position. >> i'm a highly qualified applicant for that position.

i'm a highly qualified applicant for that position. i'm sorry. must of had too many cups of coffee while i was sitting in your [ bleep ] waiting room for two hours. thanks for your time, joyce. just between the two of us, you can probably skip the diet cokes. >> jimmy: it's not him, he's acting. "the company men" opens december 10th. lovely to see you as always. please give my best to the family. >> i will. >> jimmy: ben affleck, everybody. >> the best there is. >> jimmy: we'll be right back >> jfor me to brea right back but with advair, i'm breathing better. so now, i can join the fun and games with my grandchildren. great news! for people with copd, including chronic bronchitis, emphysema, or both, advair helps significantly improve lung function. while nothing can reverse copd, advair is different from most other copd medications

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>> jimmy: well, hello there. still to come, nicki minaj will be with us. there is no writer funnier than our next guest. his new best-seller "squirrel seeks chipmunk: a modest bestiary" is both hilarious and adorable and weird. i can't say both -- it's all three. please say hello to david sedaris. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: how is it going? it's great to see you. i know you've been on a book tour since, what, september, you've been touring? >> i started in late september. i think i'm going to 58 cities. >> jimmy: that's a lot of cities. you travel by airplane? >> i go by airplane. sometimes i'm in a car. usually i'm in the airplane. >> jimmy: have you had a number of -- like a lot of people are upset or i can't really tell if people are really upset about the airports now or if cnn is upset about the airports? >> i think it was cnn. >> jimmy: you think so? >> because i -- i went to one of those things one time, those full body scanners. i think if you're extraordinary, like if you -- if your penis is this big or this big, but anything in the middle, i think they've seen it many times. >> jimmy: you're going to go through all right? >> but i wonder about people

with fake things. you know, like somebody gave me a fake bottom one time because i don't have one. like a padded butt, like -- fantastic, right. but that might be a problem, if you had something like that on or -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> or fake breasts or -- i met a lesbian in canada who travels with something in her trousers. and i think it would be, again, the same thing. it would be a problem. >> jimmy: is that right? >> but i -- [ laughter ] one time i went to that full body scanner, but that was it, once. once out of 58 cities. when you watch the news, it made it seem like watch out, because you're going to have to go through it. >> jimmy: i've seen no difference. think people are getting agitated for no reason. do people seem annoyed to you? when you're in the airport with them? >> i saw a woman a few weeks ago. she started off like -- she started talking to the person would asked for i.d. so that's when i hated her because she was talking to him about -- i can't bring water through but can i bring ice?

and then she starts talking about the properties of ice. she was a bridesmaid, you could just tell. it was a sunday, right. [ laughter ] so i decided, okay, i hate you because you're holding everybody up and i hate you. so then she goes through. and then the tsa guy goes, put your liquids into a bucket. she goes, ooh, listen to bossy bosser-ten. you need to take a chill pill. he made her go through. she said no, not the full body scanner. but it was one of those situations that -- you're ever in and you think, then i was confused because i didn't know who i hated more. i didn't know if i hated her more or -- the tsa officer was being kind of petty. she called him bossy bosser-ten. i mean, come on. that's just -- to make her go through all of that. if you said something off i can see that. but if you didn't set anything off, seems kind of silly. >> jimmy: it's been really isolated incidents.

it's not always -- there's no revolt going on in these airports? >> i haven't felt it. like i said, i've been in the airport every day. at the same time, if you watch the news, they made it sound like bed bugs are inevitable. i've been, again, 53 cities, so at first i was checking my hotel for bed bugs. haven't seen anything. >> jimmy: can you see them? i heard on the news they're invisible. >> someone told me -- okay, you can't see them but you can see their feces. now, i don't know how that could be possible. >> jimmy: same thing with ghosts too, i understand. it's the same deal. >> that is the same deal as ghosts. >> jimmy: wow. we don't have to worry about any of this stuff. now you -- last time you were here, you were asking people at your book signings to bring you money. and then you had spending money -- from the people. >> i put a tip jar out. i like to do something. >> jimmy: do you like to request things? >> well, this trip, i've been --

like, you can always get your needs met on a book tour. so like my computer broke so i brought it to the book store and i said, does anybody have this kind of computer, somebody did, and then somebody took it to the store and -- you know, i had a problem sleeping. so i offered priority signing to anyone who could give me sleeping pills. >> jimmy: really? >> and it was in the smallest town i went to, and i got enough to kill myself ten times over. >> jimmy: wow. that's terrific. you could really take advantage. and you turned your computer over to a stranger? >> yeah. but then i got -- i got some dental implants and they're not vanity implants, they're gum disease implants. so they -- like, i had four teeth pulled before i came on the trip. the sound of your teeth hitting the bottom of a shallow metal tray, that's what failure sounds like is your teeth. they pull the teeth. then they drill into your jaw bone. they put little anchors in there and they screw new teeth into your head.

my periodontist is french because i had it done in paris. he said, remember, whatever you do -- because he had a mask on and he's speaking french. so i didn't know what he said. so on this tour, i asked if anybody had implants would step forward. and tell me what that could possibly be that he didn't want me to do. but -- so that was fascinating. because you can't really tell. >> jimmy: you didn't find out, you never bothered to find out what it was you should absolutely -- >> i got some ideas from -- >> jimmy: i guess the sleeping pills will solve everything in a pinch. >> but you can't really -- we're lucky to live now because otherwise -- i meant someone who had all of her teeth pulled and she got whom pers, like, our grandmothers had. but implants, really, you can't -- >> jimmy: my grandfather, you're going to think i'm joking, but i'm not joking. when my grandmother passed away, of great love for her and also great cheapness decided to wear her dentures for the next 12 to

15 years until he eventually died. and i believe those dentures still reside in his head. so that's love. >> that's love. >> jimmy: this book is -- it's not really about animals but animals are the characters. and they are -- i'm telling you as if you don't know. but i'll tell you guys. it's not a children's book. just -- >> it looks like one -- >> jimmy: it looks like one. >> ian falconer did the cover. and he did those "olivia" books. >> jimmy: yes. it looks like a kids book. well, the fact that the animals are drinking cocktails i think should be a tip-off for parents. but -- >> well, someone described it as -- someone who interviewed me categorized it as bedtime stories for children who drink. and that sounded good to me. >> jimmy: that is good, yeah. that is good. and it's very funny, as are all of your books. now, you're going to other countries after this? this tour is not enough? you're going to go promote the book in other lands? >> yeah, i go to other lands when i finish here. >> jimmy: you do tv talk shows

in other countries? >> i'm, like, incredibly uncomfortable on television. in another country, then you always think, oh, no one's watching. so then -- [ laughter ] then i don't -- you know, then i'm kind of freed in that regard. so i did a show in the netherlands before i came here. and the host came back to the dressing room. he said, the other guests are ten bad clowns. they're bad, so don't tell them. and so -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like -- >> i had to go on with a secret. >> jimmy: like evil clowns? >> they were just bad clowns. >> jimmy: just not good at being clowns? >> there's one celebrated clown in the netherlands and i guess they were kind of walking in his footsteps and do a bad job so -- >> jimmy: dutch clowns. >> dutch clowns. >> jimmy: you have a very interesting life. this book is terrific. it's called "squirrel seeks chipmoneying" and it's by david sedaris. we'll be right back with nicki minaj. thank you, david.

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>> jimmy: her debut album is called "pink friday." here with the song "right thru me," nicki minaj.

♪ you see right through me how do you do that? ♪ ♪ how do you do that? ♪ how do you? how do you? how do you? how do you ♪ ♪ you let me win you let me ride you let me rock you let me slide ♪ ♪ and when they looking you let me hide defend my honor protect my pride ♪ ♪ the good advice i always hated but looking back it made me greater ♪ ♪ you always told me forget the haters just get my money just get my weight up ♪ ♪ know when i'm lying know when i'm crying it's like you got it down to a science ♪ ♪ why am i trying? no you ain't lying i tried to fight it back with defiance ♪ ♪ you make me laugh you make me hoarse from yelling at you and gettin' at you ♪ ♪ pickin' up dishes and throwing them at you why are you speaking when no one asks you ♪ ♪ you see right through me how do you do that? ♪ ♪ how do you do that? how do you do that? ♪ ♪ how do you?

how do you? how do you? how do you ♪ ♪ you see right through me how do you do that? ♪ ♪ how do you do that? how do you do that? ♪ ♪ how do you? how do you? how do you? how do you ♪ ♪ what are we doing? could you see through me 'cause you say nicki and i say who me ♪ and i say screw you then you start dressing and you start leaving ♪ ♪ and i start crying and i start screaming the heavy breathing but what's the reason ♪ ♪ always get the reaction you wanted i'm actually frontin' i'm asking you something ♪ ♪ yo, answer this question class is in session tired of letting ♪ control my mind capture my soul okay, you're right just let it go ♪ ♪ okay, you ride it it's in the can before i played it you knew my hand ♪ ♪ you can turn a freak into a --

♪ got the ♪ to my soul ♪ you see right through me how do you do that? ♪ ♪ how do you do that? how do you do that? ♪ ♪ how do you? how do you? how do you? how do you ♪ ♪ you see right through me how do you do that? ♪ ♪ how do you do that? how do you do that? ♪ ♪ how do you? how do you? how do you? how do you ♪ ♪ stop ♪ won't you just stop looking through me 'cause i can't take it no i can't take it ♪ right through me how do you do that? ♪ ♪ how do you do that? how do you do that? ♪

♪ how do you? how do you? how do you? how do you ♪ ♪ you see right through me ♪ you see right through me ♪ you see right through me ♪ you see right through me ♪ do that ♪ do that ♪ do that save $523! 16 minutes could save you 16%!

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