well, time now for tonight's closing argument. congress's new republican arrivals went out in style tonight, heading to washington's luxurious w hotel for a gala fund-raiser, featuring a private performance by country star laa ann rimes. $50,000 for a table of eight with a v.i.p. suite. critics say the party was far too bosh for those tea partiers who want change in washington. so, we ask you, which side is right? we've heard from many of you on facebook and twitter tonight, but please join the conversation, tell us what you think at the "nightline"

facebook page or the "nightline" page at abcnews.com. and update to a story we brought you last night. owen honors the navy captain who made a series of videos that found their way online, was permanently relieved as dof dut today. the navy, which called the videos, quote, inappropriate, said an investigation is ongoing. that is our report for tonight. from all of us at abc news, gd night, america. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. on the show tonight, from the new series "episodes," matt leblanc. from "no ordinary family," julie benz. and a live performance by this guy. his name is michael carbonaro,

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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- matt leblanc. from "no ordinary family," julie benz. and performance artist michael carbonaro. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, believe it or not, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: thank you. hi, everyone. thank you very much. welcome to the show. i'm jimmy, and -- and that's my go cart. thank you. i -- i appreciate that. hold on, let me make my hair perfect. there we go. that's very nice. i was on the ellen degeneres show today and she gave me a go cart for saving her life. i've been driving it everywhere. has ellen ever given you a go cart? i didn't think so. by the way, you notice i'm not wearing a helmet? that's because i'm rebellious. that's right. one of my new year's resolutions is to raise more hell in 2011. i'm doing it with the go cart there. i'm planning on eating by body weight in pez, as well.

that's what 2011 has in store with me. do you have a new year's resolution, uncle frank? >> yeah, to stay alive for at least one more year. >> jimmy: that's a very good one. [ applause ] and you're doing it because you are actually multiplying. this morning at 4:00 in the morning, uncle frank, for the first time in his lengthy life, became a grandfather, so, congratulations. little baby. a long night at the hospital. >> jimmy, can i say something? jimmy and cousin sal were in the hospital for nine hours. he's the greatest boss, the greatest relative, because they're cousins him and my daughter. he was in that hospital until she gave birth. he wouldn't go home. i don't know how he looks so good now. he didn't sleep all night. him and cousin sal were there until the baby came. >> reporter: w >> jimmy: why did you pick one person out in the audience to focus that on? >> i don't know. but you did great. >> jimmy: thank you.

i think what uncle frank is saying is, i'm not just a celebrity, i'm a human being. my cousin mikki, his daughter, with an assist from her husband eric had a baby girl and they named her franki after -- >> frank -- me. >> jimmy: and there she is. she actually looks a little bit like you. congratulations, uncle frank. do you know what year it is, uncle frank? >> 11. 2011. >> jimmy: right. it 2011. i was thinking about it, none of us will be alive for 2010, the next time it comes around. so, i asked uncle frank to summarize the year that was. and he did. here is uncle frank with his synopsis of the year 2010. >> hi, this is uncle frank, with my 2010 year in review of events that happened. i'm going to start with the oil spill, which was probably the biggest event of the year. thousands and thousands of feet by the hour were coming up and

then it was spreading and spreading. somebody invented something to reenter those pipes where the oil was coming out and they plugged them. plugs. that's probably one of the best inventions in the world. you plug it up. something goes wrong in your house, like, plug it up for awhile. let it lay low, let it rest and after awhile, take the plug out, if it is still going, plug it up p i'm making a statement right now. the most important invention ever since the beginning of time in my opinion, now that i think about it, are plugs. >> jimmy: well, that's -- [ cheers and applause ] thank you, uncle frank. really felt like i was reliving the whole. a new season of "the bachelor" began last night. brad womack is back. he's from season 11 who didn't pick any of the girls. some were angry about. that you're supposed to propose

to one of the women, whether or not if you have any intention of marrying them. it's law. this time around, brad wanted to make absolutely sure that people know he is a changed man. >> i needed to make a change right then and there. i wanted to figure out, how can you change, because i damn sure am not going to wind up alone. >> and that moment would change brad's life forever. >> i see a change in brad. >> you seem to be a changed man. what's changed? >> would not president here if i didn't think i was a changed man. >> changed man? >> it changed me, you know. >> you say you're a changed man. >> people change. >> i have changed. >> are you really changed? >> i've done sot changing. >> i've changed. >> what's changed? >> there's a huge change in him. >> three years is a long time. >> what do you want me to know about you? >> i've changed. >> jimmy: changed. i think the message -- if i had to boil brad's message down to one thing, i think the message is, he's changed. into a woman. he is the first simultaneous

sla bachel bachelor/bachelorette. there's a new show on cbs, "live to dance." if you love "america's best dance crew" and "dance crew" and "dancing with the stars," you're going to love this show. i hope they come up with a "celebrity dance rehab," too. i watched to "live to lance." it's pretty much the same. the three judges, the cute kid that can break dance, the cute old couple. but the one thing this show has that the others don't is little something called paul about abdul. >> they'll train for it. they'll audition for it. they'll go for it. but before they can make it, they'll have to figure out what the [ bleep ] paula abdul is telling them. >> it's all like, and it was

like, ta da. >> "live to dance," only on cbs. [ applause ] >> jimmy: she said a similar thing on "american idol." this is pretty -- this is pretty good. there were, weather related travel delays all around the world over the holidays this is from ireland, tv-2. they had a report from the dublin airport and happened on this jolly elf. >> as passengers endured long delays and disruption to their flights. but down stairs in the arrivals hold, there was a merrier mood as flights began to arrive to the delight of their waiting relatives and friends. >> have you been waiting a long time? too long? his excitement gott the better of him when his uncle kid arr e arrive. >> jimmy: mild concussion. he'll be out four to six weeks. he should be fine by easter, don't worry.

speaking of the kiddies, yesterday, a photograph of a shirtless justin bieber kissing actress selena gomez came to light. if you don't know who she is, she's that sweet little girl from the disney channel whose car is now covered in eggs. justin bieber's fans are furious about this. they would have it that he would never touch another human being. on twitter, there were death threats. some people threatened to kill themselves. some threatened to kill selena. brett favre posted a picture of his penis. i didn't understand that. but here are some of the tweets direct lgd at selena gomez for kissing justin bieber. "i'll kill you, i swear on god." "if you are the girlfriend of justin, i kill you, i hate you." " "whore cancer whore. like i'm kill myself because i saw you and justin kissing well thank you." "stay away from justin. wait i'm going to kill you in

the light underneath your smelly bed." this, by the way, is exactly what happened to me when i was 16 and first started dating kenny loggins. and it's no fun. here's a rule of thumb. don't take those too seriously when they come with emoticons. if you look at the picture closely, you can see, she wasn't kissing justin bieber. she was smelling a mop. [ laughter ] two women who worked as massage therapists for the new york jets while brett favre played quarterback there are filed suit against brett favre and the team for allege sexual harassment in 2008. an attorney for one of the therapists told "good morning america" that favre sent sexually suggestive text messages and the women were told to keep it quiet. they have a massage coordinator? i'd go with an offensive

coordinator. but what a way for brett favre, after such a great career, to go -- think the big lesson here is, when you say you're going to retire -- retire. the jets have another embarrassing situation on their hands. their head coach, a hefty gentleman named rex ryan, a woman who either is or looks exactly like his wife is featured in a number of foot fetish videos and the guy shooting the videos sounds a lot like rex ryan. well, it is called football, so, there's a foot -- [ laughter ] he's not denying it. he sails it's a personal matter and he's not going to discuss it. but the videos are there to be seen, and there's a lot of them. they're not pornographic, but unusual is a good word. >> excuse me, ma'am. can i help you with anything? >> oh, yes, sir. i was just relaxing. >> really beautiful feet. >> thank you. >> you mind if i touch them? >> oh, go ahead.

>> they're like really soft. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you know, she does have beautiful feet. that, you have to -- [ laughter ] and one more thing. this is -- those feet belonged to one of our writers and we -- when we get a chance to put them on television we take it. [ laughter ] season three of "jersey shore" premieres thursday night on mtv. that's -- [ cheers and applause ] it's been too long. didn't season two end, like, on christmas eve or something. you would think it would take them a month just to sterilize the hot tub, but they're back. mtv just released a ten-minute sneak peek at the premiere. they have a new cast member this year, a friend of snooki, named dina. she's a troublemaker. you don't want to spoil the premiere, but we want to give you a taste of the magic to come. so, we took some of theed all owe from this promo and we mixed it together with the charlie brown new year's special and, well, enjoy.

>> don't talk to me the way you'retalking to me. first of all -- >> first of all, second of all. >> i don't care who you are. >> i don't care who you are. >> dina kind of reminded me of, like, a dirty chihuahua, just barking. and you want to smack it to the side. >> i would rather have [ bleep ] angelina back. >> [ bleep ] you. >> you don't want to piss off dina like that. though we're tiny bitches, i don't give a [ bleep ]. i will [ bleep ] attack you like a squirrel monkey. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do they attack? we have a good show tonight. from "no ordinary family," julie benz is here. we have a pretty cool performance tonight from a guy named michael carbonaro and we'll be right back with matt leblanc. so stick around. [ female announcer ] what will you gain when you lose?

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>> jimmy: hello there. with us tonight, from the show "no nord air family," julie benz is going to be here. then later a gentleman who calls himself a 'performance bizarrist," i have no idea what that means, but i have seen what he does and it's very cool. with something he calls "shaving dream" michael carbonaro is here. tomorrow from "jersey shore" snooki will be here. she's written a book. [ laughter ] that's not a joke. she wrote a book. from "the mentalist" simon baker and music from lloyd banks. oh, by the way, i want to show an actual photograph of my new little cousin franki. she's italian.

and, you know, they come out all gross but they get really cute right away. congratulations to them. for ten seasons and then two other seasons, our first guest played one of our best-ever friends, now he has a new show premiering sunday night on showtime called "episodes." please welcome matt will bllebl. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? you got some -- you got a little gray in the hair, very distinguished. >> thanks. >> jimmy: it does look good. >> i'm 1,000. >> jimmy: you're very elderly. how are you? how was christmas? >> it was good. >> jimmy: did you get a go cart? >> i did not. >> jimmy: that's a shame. i did. >> it has feathers on it.

>> jimmy: i know, it does. that's because i was the angel for ellen. i saved her life. chef put angel stuff on it because i'm an angel. i'm like a guardian angel. have you ever saved anyone's life? >> no. [ laughter ] well -- no. >> jimmy: maybe if you do, you'll get a go cart out of it. >> something to keep in mind. >> jimmy: maybe if you're lucky i'll choke on something during the show and you'll be zipping around the stud studio. what did you do for the holidays? went back to newton,m massachusetts. >> jimmy: i've been there. nits little town. it's like the safest town in america, is it? >> is it? well, there's no go carts there. >> jimmy: that's right. it's go cart-free. >> went to my mom's house, i brought my daughter, she's 6. >> jimmy: does your mom spoil her? >> yeah. yeah, my mom's funny.

when my daughter was born, she said, okay, don't ever come visit me unless you bring her. you're not welcome without her. you have to bring her. so, if i, like, go there without her, can't get in. >> jimmy: you stand outside. >> and freeze. >> jimmy: really? don't ever visit me without her. and you do visit with her, right? >> yeah, well, yeah. >> jimmy: you have to. >> only way to get in. >> jimmy: what happens when you show up with her? does your mom pay any attention to you at all? >> it's funny, we live so far apart, i live in california. when we do get together, they are like joined at the hip, this great bond between them so i stand at the kitchen sink washing dishes. >> jimmy: it's probably better. sometimes the focus can be too intense when you come back to mom. are you in the house you grew up in? >> no, no. we sold that for food. >> jimmy: for food? you guys must eat a lot, i mean -- >> it wasn't a very nice house.

>> jimmy: and -- this show, by the way, i watched the show today and it's very, very funny. i mean, it is really a very funny show. i think people are going to like it a lot. the premise, the idea, you play matt will blleblanc, which is a you were -- >> it's not a documentary, it's not really me. >> jimmy: you are playing -- i hope it's not you. how much of it is you? >> not much. he's kind of a [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: yeah, he is. >> so, i mean, it's -- it's a scripted character. it's more like, i would say, public -- the public's perception of celebrity. than it is, really, me, i mean -- >> jimmy: and how long has it been since you were on "joey" was the last show you that did, right? >> yeah, it's been about five years. >> jimmy: you have enough money to never do anything again, probably, but i mean, i don't know that, but i assume it unless you did something stupid

with it, that i don't know about -- [ laughter ] >> you never know. i'm okay. i just -- you know, i was just -- i just didn't want to really do -- my favorite thing in the world to do is nothing. nothing. i love it. just sit on the couch, do -- >> jimmy: is that what you did, nothing for five years? no, not for all five. [ laughter ] for most of the five. >> jimmy: most of the five. >> i did a little traveling. i spent a lot of time with my little girl. we have a good time. we have a real tight bond now. >> jimmy: where would you go? you had -- you don't have to worry about money, you go anywhere you want, what do you do? >> i get together with some friends and we'll, actually kind of do it a lot, we take motorcycle trips. we throw a couple pairs of underwear in a backpack and just take off, no itinerary --

>> jimmy: in your underwear? >> so we try to plan the trips in the summer, because it's -- you know -- >> jimmy: sure. you have to. >> just kind of gone up and down california, up to canada. went and did a trip in the alps. >> jimmy: did people recognize you -- i assume you have a helmet on, are you able to travel anonymously? >> yeah, that part is okay. it's -- i think it's when i talk, i think i have a voice that people recognize. >> jimmy: they hear you and do they call you joey? >> we were in northwest washington one time, and i pull up and you have to go in and prepay. you see this much of me, right? so, i go into the store, can i get $20 on number four, or whatever it was and she goes -- i know who you are, joey. i was like, what the -- how

could you possibly, like, am i getting punked? what's going on here? so, yeah, the show, thank gold -- >> jimmy: it doesn't annoy you when people do the joey thing with you? >> no. >> jimmy: that's good. some people it does. >> when they call them joey? >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> that would be annoying. >> jimmy: i don't like being called joey. it makes no sense. >> i'm all right with it. >> jimmy: i would like to go on one of those trips, all of us in our underpants heading up the coast. >> that would be fun. >> jimmy: a lot of fun. and the show -- this show, you shoot the show in england -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: it seemed to me from the couple of episodes that i watched that a lot of it takes place in hollywood. >> it all does. basically the show is about an english couple, a husband and wife, they are a writer/producer team with a hit show in england and the american networks convinced them to move to america and recreate the show here. they promise them the world and one by one break every single

promise. >> jimmy: right. >> hollywood. >> jimmy: part of it is you coming on board the show, which they are not that excited about. >> yeah. the part is like the headmaster of an elite boys academy and it's played by richard griffiths, do you know him? >> jimmy: well, from watching the show. >> i replace him and we're not very similar, him and i. he's 70, whatever he is. i mean, i'm gray but i'm not that gray. >> jimmy: you change the concept of the headmasters school to, you're now the hockey coach at the school. >> same thing. >> jimmy: and it's very -- it really is very good. i think people are going to like it a lot. we have a clip of the show if you would like to set it up for you. or uncle frank could do it -- >> i think -- >> hi matt. >> let him do it. >> jimmy: he can't do it. >> all right. i think this is at a party at the network president's house and it's sort of, the relationship begins to unravel between the three of us. >> jimmy: again, the show is called "episodes."

take a look. >> matt was about to tell me about this documentary -- >> oh, yeah, it's about these kids with tourette's syndrome. you have to see it. so funny. >> funny? >> oh, my god. >> children with tourette's? >> i know, i felt guilty laughing but they're interviewing this one little girl, so cute and all of a sudden, she's like [ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. >> you found that funny? >> well, hey, i said i felt guilty, but come on, little kids, cursing? no. >> i need to believe you're joking. >> ah, no. >> jimmy: there you go. it's called "episodes" and you can watch it sunday night at 9:30 on showtime. matt leblanc, everybody. we'll be right back with julie benz. [ male announcer ] colorful, smooth, and in excellent condition.

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>> jimmy: well, hello there. our next guest, you know as a mom with super speed. her show is called "no ordinary family." you can watch it tuesday nights at 8:00 here on abc. please welcome julie benz. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm good, how are you? >> jimmy: doing well. how were your holidays? >> they were great. i spent christmas in paris and then we went to barcelona. >> jimmy: that is a good one. >> it was. it was on my bucket list. >> jimmy: aren't you too young for that? >> never too young. >> jimmy: what else is on there? anything you can share? >> no. >> jimmy: how long is it? >> it's pretty long. >> jimmy: okay, good. you have -- >> i have plenty of time. >> jimmy: you checked two of those things off on the bucket

list in this one trip? >> one trip. >> jimmy: where did you go first? >> we did christmas in paris and then went to barcelona for new year's. >> jimmy: do they even celebrate it over there? >> they do. >> jimmy: and santa knows where to find you when you're there? >> he found me. >> jimmy: he can get into the hotel room? >> yeah, he breaks in. >> jimmy: that's nice. >> he has a key. >> jimmy: did you have to take your presents over there? >> i don't give presents. i only take. >> jimmy: oh. they say it is better to receive than give. >> yes. >> jimmy: is that right. who did you go over there with? >> my boyfriend. >> jimmy: so he must have been thrilled then. to wake up to an empty stocking. >> yes. he was very naughty this year. >> jimmy: all right, well. and did you have, like, problems going over there with the snow and the -- >> no, we -- >> jimmy: things getting hit by luggage racks? no, we made all of our flights. we different have any delays. we hind of had a horrific trip

coming home. as we took off from the paris airport to fly home, my boyfriend started coming down with the flu and proseemeded to vomit. >> jimmy: nice. >> the whole flight. yes. >> jimmy: good times. >> it was awesome. and i'm borrowing people's bar of bags. >> jimmy: can i tell you i've done that no less than a dozen times myself where i start collecting in preparation for what's to come. how are you feeling, all right? can i borrow that? so, did that make him more or less attractive to you? >> more. >> jimmy: more attractive? because you saw him in a vulnerable state. >> very much. >> jimmy: did he throw up on you? >> no, himself. >> jimmy: did people around you notice he was throwing up? >> yes. >> jimmy: they did. >> you couldn't miss it. >> jimmy: really? was it like the fourth of july? what was happening? really? were people trying to help at

all? >> the flight attendant was really great and people were giving me their bar of bags because they didn't want to be thrown up on. >> jimmy: it's that kind of holiday spirit that, you just -- we're missing, it seems like, the rest of the year. you tweeted some things, because you're on twitter. now, tell us where you were when you got these. >> i was in barcelona at a tapas bar and those are -- >> jimmy: you said tapas, right? >> no, not topless. those are fried fish and they have the heads on them. >> jimmy: yeah. i've had that. >> yes. i hear they're an aphrodisiac. >> jimmy: you hear? did you eat them? >> i did. >> jimmy: you have to say, this proves to me nothing, because -- >> i ate two of them. >> jimmy: it looks like you're resting them on your teeth. >> i bit that head off. >> jimmy: how come we don't see that? >> how can you show that? >> jimmy: is this maybe what

made your boyfriend throw up the whole way -- >> yes. >> jimmy: eating fish heads? >> watching me eat them. >> jimmy: so -- it was a fun trip overall? >> it was. it was cold but fun. >> jimmy: it was cold. >> really cold. >> jimmy: really? >> it's wintertime there. >> jimmy: i guess it is. i never know what's going on. i see oprah in australia and she's flushing things down the toilet backwards and getting a lot of sun. and do you do that traditionally, do you go out of town for the holidays? no. >> jimmy: you're not trying to avoid your family? >> maybe. >> jimmy: maybe just a little bit. >> they're watching. >> jimmy: well, you -- which do you prefer, your television family or your real family? [ laughter ] >> they both offer something different. >> jimmy: they do.

your television family, the show is very popular. >> yes. the great thing about mial vision family is, we all have super powers. >> jimmy: your real famillmily doesn't have that? >> no. >> jimmy: well, that's embarrassing. >> i have no life experience to pull from. >> jimmy: you have never -- you have never, like, flown alongside a plane or anything like that? >> no. >> jimmy: on the show, you have super speed. >> yes. >> jimmy: and it's kind of cool the way the super speed goes. it looks like real, kind of. >> yaem, it's cool. very cool. they shut down the 710 freeway for me to run on it. it was awesome. >> jimmy: not for the people trying to go to work. do you run in slow motion and they speed it up? >> i actually run in slow motion. >> jimmy: i'm not joking. i'm really asking. >> no, i don't. i run full speed. they shoot it in -- they shoot -- i don't know how they do it.

to be honest, i really don't. >> jimmy: you're not paying attention. >> i don't pay any attention. >> jimmy: you just get out there and run. >> all i care about is, how does my hair look? >> jimmy: it seems like at a high rate of speed, every time you stop, your hair looks crazy. in the go cart, already, my hair, which is almost like a helmet just naturally was all over the place. you should talk to the producers about that. a little realism. "no ordinary family" and "modern family" both on abc. your name is julie, nowljulie b is on that show. i used to be introduced as her in auditions all the time. >> jimmy: do you hate her? >> no, i love her. i sign her name when a fan comes

up to me and thinks i'm her. i told her this at the emmys and she said it was okay. >> jimmy: you asked after you did it. >> i give them a hug and i sign her name. >> jimmy: you could sign legal contracts for her, you could have things know tarized. nice arrangement for the two of you. that's great. and the show is doing great, i know. >> it's doing really well. it's fun. >> jimmy: well, sure. you don't have to pay attention to anything around you. you just run -- >> and have beautiful hair. >> jimmy: did your boyfriend get you a present for christmas? >> yes. >> jimmy: and you gave him nothing? >> absolutely nothing. >> jimmy: do you give anyone in your family anything? i wonder how hard he's laughing at home as he sits there playing his atari from when he was a child. >> he told me -- i asked him what he wanted, he said he didn't want anything, so -- >> jimmy: that's what you gave him. perfect. you know that sometimes when

people say that -- do you think he meant it. >> yes. >> jimmy: uh-huh. and what did you tell him you wanted? >> i gave him a whole list. >> jimmy: you gave him a whole list. well, you are the ideal woman, aren't you? >> yes. >> jimmy: well -- i'm sure it all works -- i'm sure it evens out. >> it does. i'm sure you make it up somehow to him. >> yes. i eat fish heads. >> jimmy: exactly. well, if you would like to stay, we have something very odd that is going to happen here on the show in a second, do you know about it -- >> i heard about it. >> jimmy: can you stay? >> i would love to. >> jimmy: don't go zipping around. very good. nowl julie benz, everybody. watch "no ordinary family" tuesday night at 8:00 here on abc. coming up performance bizarrist michael carbonaro. okay. new year, new me. got to cut back. i love cutting back.

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catch 'em before the fresh toasted tour leaves town. subway big hot pastrami. crank up the flavor at subway. >> jimmy: we're back with julie benz. our next guest is about to do something strange and wonderful accompanied by cellist yair evnine. please welcome michael carbonaro with "shaving dream." ♪ ♪

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>> jimmy: hello, we're back with julie benz and michael carbonar. you look like a cream pie right now. how did you happen upon this skill? >> i used to just do this all the time when i was a kid in the bathroom mirror. i never showed anybody. i thought i would get in trouble. >> jimmy: your parents must have spent a fortune on barbasol. >> they are so proud now. >> jimmy: so, is this regular shaving cream that you use? >> yes. >> jimmy: and so when you shave, do you get carried away ever? >> now i do. i tend to now, yes. >> jimmy: you do. so, you stand in front of the mirror and you practice these things. >> i can't do it in front of a mirror now because i'm used to do it in