well, more relentless snowfall has made travel treacherous across the middle part of the country, from tennessee to illinois. man, machine alike, working

overtime to dig out, plow, clear the snow. that same storm, about to hit the northeast, slachling major cities along the coast from d.c. to boston. it will get here just in time for tomorrow's rush hour. so, commuting may be a bear. be sure to watch "good morning america" for the latest on that. and we hope you turn in tomorrow night as terry moran examines the growing use of salvia, a plant that packs a powerful punch. is it safe? or should it be criminalized? that is tomorrow right here on "nightline." but that is our report for tonight. and for all of us here at abc news, good night, america. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. tonight on the show, from the movie "blue valentine," ryan gosling. from every reality show on e!, kourtney kardashian. we have music from ra ra riot. and why is this woman so unhappy? >> it's humiliating when it doesn't happen to you. it's funny when it's not you.

when it's you, it's a totally different feeling. it's a totally, totally different feeling. >> well, she's upset because she was texting while walking and she wound up in this fountain. and -- now she has a lawyer. that, and more tonight. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes. that. i switched to sprint's $69.99 plan, so i wasn't charged extra. [ buzzes ] okay, i just got your breakup e-mail. e-mails are unlimited, too. and look -- i just changed my facebook status to "single." but internet's also unlimited. [ cellphone buzzing ] deaf, hard-of-hearing and people with speech disabilities, access www.sprintrelay.com. yeah. [ male announcer ] only sprint gives you unlimited text, web, and calling to any mobile for just $69.99. sprint. the now network. here's the gum for the rest of the time. dentyne pure. it purifies your breath deliciously instead of just covering it up. dentyne pure. practice safe breath.

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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- from "blue valentine," ryan gosling. kourtney kardashian. and music from ra ra riot. with cleto and the cletones ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live"

>> dicky: and now, as scheduled, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, fellas. hi, everyone, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. it's thursday, which means we had a difficult choice to make tonight which was whether to watch "american idol" or "jersey shore." you know, if only snooki sang karaoke, we could have both. i hate being forced to choose between j.lo and j-woww. i didn't have to. tonight was the second night of "american idol." which means we have 985 nights to go. they're in new orleans. there's so much talent in the city of new orleans and yet we

saw none of it tonight on "american idol." ratings for the premiere last night were down 18% from last year, despite interest in the new judges. still, though, 26 million viewers, which, i think is even more than we have for this show. so that's a lot. steven tyler, jennifer lopez and randy jackson are the new judges. if you go from left -- if you go from left to right, they look like the three stages of michael jackson. started regular, okay. i don't know about this judging panel. i don't know if it's going to work. j.lo likes everybody she sees and steven tyler wants to have sex with everyone he sees. look at this. >> take a deep breath. >> i love the skirt. >> oh, yeah. just the right amount showing. >> do your thing. >> yeah. oh.

oh. yeah. >> jimmy: i think we just find out why janie got a gun, it's because -- maybe he thinks he's on "the bachelor." for steven tyler, being a judge is like going to one of those restaurants where you pick your own lobster out of the tank. it's easy to forget, this is a 62-year-old man. some of these girls he's flirting with, he's old enough to be their grandmother, and -- the girl whose skirt he commented on was 16 years old and believe it or not, that wasn't even the most uncomfortable thing he did last night. there was also this, the awkward interracial high five of the night. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they'll get it right. by season 35. the show is weird without simon, i think. the judges are too -- they're too wishy washy. you used to watch the show and simon would say something and

you go, oh, no, he didn't. and now, it's oh, no, he didn't. he didn't say anything. one good thing is randy's cut way back on the dogs. randy jackson and michael vick have both cut way back on the dogs. and i hope it -- i hope it works out for him because dog was his catch phrase. gary coleman stopped saying "what you talking bout willis," that was the end of it for him. with the dog thing, it seems like they've sent 35,000 contestants to hollywood in two nights. instead of dog, the word randy says most now is yes. >> what do you think? >> i'm going to say yes. i'm going to say yes. i'm going to say yes. i'm going to say yes. yes, as well. welcome to hollywood. i'm going to say yes. welcome to hollywood. yes. yes. yes. no. >> jimmy: one no. one of the things i don't understand about this show is the parents. every time there's a terrible singer who gets rejected, their parents are waiting by the door to console them and they seem

surprised. have they ever heard their children sing? some of these kids -- they're not even close to maybe. they're terrible singers. just once this is what i'd like to see happen. ♪ oh danny boy ♪ the pipes sn s ♪ ♪ the pipes are calling ♪ from -- >> oh, baby. you got so much of this and the drama but you got no notes. >> it's not your thing, baby. >> jennifer, steven, what do you think? >> it's no. >> no. >> thanks. >> thank you. >> oh. >> honey -- we told you you suck. >> yes. now never, ever sing again. >> now let's go get you a job at jack in the box.

>> jimmy: that would be -- i think that would actually be better for them. last night at the white house, the official state dinner for chinese president hu jintao -- many prom innocent chinese people were invited to attend this. this morning on fox and friends they profiled one of those prominent chinese people and in doing so, provilds us with our unintentional joke of the day. >> somebody else who was at the state dinner last night was one of the world's greatest pianists, a fellow by the name of long lang. >> jimmy: congratulations today to sandra bullock's ex-husband, jesse james who announced his engagement to kat von d. that's right. they're both heavily tattooed. when jesse james and kat von d make love, it looks like a load of ed hardy shirts in a washing machine. it's incredible. it was a -- the news of the

engagement was a real bombshell to his former mistress bombshell. and the wedding is going to take place in june at the first united tattoo parlor church. this is funny. jesse james actually said 2010 was the best year of my life. must have had some life, you know? so, at long last, tattoo -- tattoo -- tattoo will become tat-one. thank you. thank you. only guy laughing. [ applause ] the medical marijuana section, it's -- everything is fine. [ applause ] this is wonderful. this was posted to youtube on friday. a woman was walking and texting at the same time at a mall in pennsylvania and the security guards took this video.

she wound up in the fountain. and -- they loved it. they watched it over and over again in slow motion. see, now, if this -- if that happened to me, i would think it's funny but apparently she doesn't. she's hired a lawyer and is talking to the local news. >> what hurt more, falling in the fountain or -- >> the humiliation. the humiliation. i cry for days and he's like, but it's over. i'm like, no, it's not over. you don't know how many people are laughing -- there's a remix of me falling and a girl, i think it's an asian girl or something and they're taking pictures of her. it's not cute. >> jimmy: it's a little cute. it's kind of cute. there's a remix. how could it not be cute? and by the way, i'm sorry she feels that way, but the fact of the matter is, in the video, you can't see her face at all. so, what does she do? she calls the news and does an interview so we can see.

apparently her husband has had enough of this, too. listen to what this poor guy's been through. >> my husband offered to give me -- can i? my husband offered to jump in the fountain and say i jumped, you know, i'm her husband, i jumped in the fountain. he asked me, you want me to go and jump in, would that make you feel better? i said no. >> jimmy: he should be suing her for pain and suffering. [ applause ] it's the only lawsuit that -- i guess this woman is unaware that doing dumb things on tv can make you a lot of money. for instance, tonight on "jersey shore," more laughs than ever. quite an episode. snooki continued her life threatening dissent into alcoholism and it couldn't be more entertaining. monday night, they showed the episode where snooki got arrested. they smuggled her out tonight inside a can of mountain dew. most of the episode was about snooki.

pauly, vinnie and mike ran into a guy who looks just like their other roommate ronnie. >> yo, ronnie. ron? you working on your traps, bro? >> we got vinnie, mike, pauly, ronnie -- go like this, go like this. >> oh my god! oh my god! >> jimmy: there's two human rhinos. and by the way, those -- those are not the only cast look alikes. we scoured the internet today. for instance, the situation looks a lot like squidward from sponge bob. pauly d looks like londo from "babylon five." and snooki is a dead ringer for this orange fire hydrant. i want to -- one more thing. my aunt chippy is -- and if you are wondering, this is my real aunt. my mom's sister. she is not a fan of "jersey

shore." she does not approve of the way kids behave on the show. we force her to watch it. and turns out, she still doesn't think much of it. >> this is aunt chippy with another preview of [ bleep ] "jersey shores." roll it. oh, they're getting dressed to go out. >> getting nervous. >> because you're excited? >> yeah. >> what are you nervous about? you've been screwing everybody in sight. >> if we got to a club, i have to [ bleep ] my pants. >> she [ bleep ] in her pants? that's something we really need to know. you [ bleep ] in the toilet, you piss in the toilet. you flush, you wash your hands, you walk out like a lady you little pig. i'm done. [ applause ] >> jimmy: until next week. we have a good show tonight. court knee kardashian is here. we have music from ra ra riot and we'll be right back with ryan gosling, to stick around.

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>> jimmy: you know our first guest from the movies lars and the real girl, half nelson, the notebook among other films. he's in the new movie "blue valentine." >> i just talked to your grandmother. that sounds weird, huh? >> yeah. >> okay, let me put it into context. i went out there to see walter, who is not there anymore. that's why i talked to her. you know what happened to that guy walter? >> yeah, do you know what happened to that guy walter? >> no, i -- i don't know what happened to that guy walter. what happened? you got to do it like that? >> jimmy: "blue valentine" is in theaters now.

please say hello to ryan gosling. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, how are you? [ cheers and applause ] got one of them -- who put the vibrating water glass next to ryan? how you are? >> i'm not nervous. >> jimmy: you're moist now. i'm hearing some -- word on the street that you're canadian. true? >> yes. just one? come on. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i guarantee you that 80% of the people screaming are

not canadians. they're -- >> let's build bridges, not walls. >> jimmy: where are you from in canada? >> cornwall. >> jimmy: you can build corn walls while we're at it. thank you. [ laughter ] and in cornwall -- is that a small town, cornwall? >> yes, very small. >> jimmy: it's not like a showbiz town where people come out and do big theater shows and that sort of thing? >> not really. >> jimmy: your family is not like the barrymores or the kardashians, anything like that? >> i know what you're getting at. you mean, am i from a showbiz family? >> exactly. >> my uncle was an elvis impersonator. >> jimmy: so you are. you had an unfair advantage. what was your uncle's name? >> his name's perry and he went by the name elvis perry. >> jimmy: elvis the refrigerator perry? >> don't cheapen it.

>> jimmy: where did uncle perry perform? >> malls. >> jimmy: in malls? really? you have to be careful, you go right into a fountain in those things. and would you -- how old were you when he would do this? >> i was about 8. >> jimmy: did he look like elvis -- >> nothing, no. he had a mustache, big birthmark, no hair. oh, you laugh. but he was great. he was. he really was so good that he would incite the crowd into this riot. >> jimmy: for real? with the mustache and the birthmark? >> yes. >> jimmy: people felt like they were seeing elvis? >> yes. >> jimmy: and you would be in the audience watching him? >> i was in the act. >> jimmy: what were you? >> i was head of security. >> jimmy: at 8? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how would that work? >> i had a gold jacket, said elvis perry security. i had three jobs. i had to give him the teddy bear during "teddy bear."

he gave it to a lady. i had to refresh the scarf situation. he was always giving away scarves. and then the ladies at a certain point would get little, like, handsy and crazy and they would slide on their bellies on the stage, like seals. >> jimmy: really? >> they would just -- >> jimmy: towards your uncle? >> yeah. and my job was to turn them around and slide them back. >> jimmy: i like that. and you did that? [ applause ] >> yeah, i did. >> jimmy: and did he -- what about your aunt? she was -- is that where they met, or? >> she made him stop because the ladies were -- it was offputting. >> jimmy: women were getting so excited that she forced him to quit? >> it was a really big deal in cornwall. i'm surprised you didn't hear about it. >> jimmy: i'm surprised, too. and, wow, that's something else. so, she made him stop and he agreed to stop? >> he's never been the same. >> jimmy: i would think not. well, maybe now, later, now that you've achieved, maybe you can

help relaunch uncle elvis' career. >> bring him on the show. >> jimmy: he can be on the show. >> him and your aunt. >> jimmy: chippy. chippy and perry. so, growing up in this area, where -- you wind upcoming out, you become an actor, doing all this big stuff and are people excited about that back there? >> i think so. >> jimmy: they are? you think so? >> i hope so. you know? >> jimmy: your family, do they, are they excited when your movies come out do, they want to be part of the action? >> yeah, they collect all the paparazzi pictures and -- >> jimmy: nice. >> and they ask me questions. i just talked to my cousin the other day and he was like, how many oscars have you won? he's like, seven? i was like, none. he was like, oh. well when you see my friends can you say that you won some because i told them that you did. yeah, all right. >> jimmy: why not? hey, who knows?

it could happen. >> said, i watched you on the groeden globes the other day. he said, it was weird, lots of people were getting up on stage to get them, and you didn't, you stayed seated. why was that? i was like, i didn't -- >> jimmy: he should get nothing for christmas. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i know you went to -- you went to the congo recently. >> yeah. >> jimmy: not for fun, i'm guessing. >> do you want to talk about that? >> jimmy: i do. >> okay. >> jimmy: why not? >> let's talk about the congo. >> jimmy: tell us. i've never been to the congo. i've seen king kong, but -- >> it's a beautiful place and it's in, well, a lot of people don't know but in our cell phones and our computers and our ipods there are these minerals, minerals that come from congo. and our sort of consumption of these products is fueling one of the worst wars in the world. and so, you know, if people are interested, they want to know how to stop that, they don't want money, they want you to write companies that make the

phones and just say, we want our -- >> jimmy: stop it. >> conflict free. go to raise hope for congo.org. >> jimmy: okay, that's good. that's a nice thing for you to do. and -- most actors only care about themselves. >> what's that? >> jimmy: most actors only care about themselves? >> well, i just did it for the applause. i don't care about that. >> jimmy: you brought a video from your trip. >> yeah, i went to this -- this is, okay, this is amazing, i think. so we went to this kids' hospital, and, you know, preparing to interview these kids and see how they have been hurt by the conflict. i was getting ready emotionally, and they were having a dance party and they were having a dance attack to rihanna's "rude boy." and there's a girl doing a dance move that i think you should say. it's so wildly unique, i'm positive -- >> jimmy: this is video you shot yourself? >> this move has never been done before and if you like it, i think we could try and make it popular on this show. >> jimmy: great.

let's take a look. ♪ >> the teacher gets involved. you ready? what is going on? what is happening? one more time? >> jimmy: that might be the kultest thing i've ever time. >> can we play it again? >> jimmy: play it again. [ laughter ] that could be big. [ applause ] i don't know if it's as cute if an adult does it. >> should we try? >> jimmy: how would you do it? >> can you give us a beat? you want to try the move? come on, stand up. stand up. stand up.

>> jimmy: is it a move? >> give it a shot, come on. yeah, go. >> jimmy: come on, try it. somebody try it there in the front. give it a try. you have to use your eyes. >> it's in the eyes. >> jimmy: you know what, people are going to need to practice it at home. it's like the soulja boy dance. it took some time to learn the moves and then you have to learn them. >> all right, all right. >> jimmy: well, the dancing was beautiful, but i understand that, well, you've been taking ballet lessons, i hear. >> all right. >> jimmy: why? is there is sequel to "the black swan" that you're in that we don't know about? >> i have no good reason. >> jimmy: who are you taking them from? >> i take like a class, it's like a public class. >> jimmy: there's, like, who is in it? >> a lot of people that are good and then me. everyone is good but me.

>> jimmy: are there any children in the class? >> there's kids. there's these two -- i'm so bad at it that i have to -- i'm so unflexible i have to -- they have to bring out a special bar when we do the bar work part of the class. it's a tiny bar and i can barely get my leg on it and then there's two 7-year-old girls who sit next to me and do the bar work and they look at me like they hate me and they think, they just, like, i'm cheapening the whole thing by being there. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you're old, you're not good and i've seen you in movies and it's weird that you're here. why are you here? >> jimmy: well, maybe -- you know what, you did some singing in the movie and by the way, you were great in the movie and it's an amazing film. [ applause ] it's -- heavy movie but also, there's a lot of kind of fun parts and light parts and one of the fun parts is you sing and you play the ukulele. and that's you playing, it's not

a fake thing? >> yeah, you know, that's me. i'm in character. >> jimmy: your character. and, but i was wondering is, if you would be so kind as to do some of that song for us here tonight. >> i wouldn't. i wouldn't do that. [ applause ] i'm not -- i'm not prepared. >> jimmy: well -- i have a ukulele -- >> i'm shy. >> jimmy: well, if you want -- if you know, if you like -- >> i'm shy. >> jimmy: i could actually sing it with you if you feel more -- if it would make you feel more comfortable. i can sing the song with you. >> i'll do it by myself. that's great of you. >> jimmy: honestly, i don't mind. >> and it's so nice of you -- >> jimmy: i don't want you to be comfortable. it's going to be really great, i think, if we just sing it here and -- come on. we'll do it together.

[ applause ] >> you're the only one that gets the stool? >> jimmy: we only have one stool. just got the one stool. >> well, i'll stand here then. okay. >> jimmy: whenever, yeah, one, two, three, four. >> no need to scream at me. just palling around up here. ♪ ♪ you are always hurt the ones you love ♪ ♪ the one you shouldn't hurt at all ♪ ♪ you a always take the sweetest rose and crush it --

[ laughter ] i just thought it would be more presentational. ♪ until the petals fall ♪ you always break the kindest heart ♪ ♪ the hasty word you can reca recall -- >> what the -- >> jimmy: i -- i thought you were going this way. >> just -- ♪ so if i broke your heart last night ♪ ♪ it's because i love you most

of all ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, everyone. [ applause ] thank you, everybody. ryan gosling and his tiny guitar, too. that's the -- ryan? ryan gosling, everyone. "blue valentine" is in theaters now. we'll be right back with kourtney kardashian. [ female announcer ] applying lip balm over...

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>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. still to come, ra ra riot. our next guest is apart of the most popular reality family the planet earth has ever known. she's taking her act on the road with can kourtney and kim take new york" that premieres this sunday. please say hello to kourtney kardashian. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm flood. >> jimmy: so, now we're taking new york. >> taking new york.

new york is such a great city. i got back late last night. >> jimmy: last night? >> really this morning. >> jimmy: so you're still there shooting the show? >> no, i went to do a little press. >> jimmy: first, you took miami now you're taken new york. you will eventually run out of cities to take. >> no. we won't. i'm so excited, there's so many. >> jimmy: there are a lot of kardashians, though, and i really believe you could take whatever you wanted. are there any members of your family not on television? >> yes. >> jimmy: how many? >> like, all my, like, extended family members. >> jimmy: do they want shows? >> yes. >> jimmy: they do? >> yes. >> jimmy: why don't they have them? >> time will come. >> jimmy: you have aunts and uncles and stuff? >> when people get bored and stuff, we'll have my grandma -- >> jimmy: grandma would be good. >> she's good. she's actually very sassy. >> jimmy: well, yeah. how come you don't have grandma on? >> she's been on.

not new york. but she wanted to come to new york. she was like, i need to come to new york, i need to have fun you with girls and it didn't happen. >> jimmy: you didn't want that. it's less fun with grandma, just in general. >> not with her. i'm techling you. >> jimmy: how many kardashian-related shows have been on the air? can you name them? >> well, there's keeping up with the kardashians. there's kourtney and khloe take miami. and i don't know what khloe and lamar's show is called. i don't know. khloe is shady -- >> jimmy: they should use their names in it. so, she gets to pick the name of the show and she's not telling? >> she's shady in general about this show. kim and i call her, like, what are you doing? and she's like, i'm filming. and she doesn't tell us anything that's going on. >> jimmy: she's going to walk around and say things. >> what goes on in the odom

household, we don't know. we're, like, it's not like we hang out there all the time. we are usually at my mom's house or -- i don't know. and kim and i are like, she's so shady. we were talking about this on the plane to new york, like, what a shady girl. >> jimmy: and is there competition between you guys with the shows to make them more interesting? >> no, but maybe there will be now because maybe she got mad that she wasn't coming to new york, so maybe she's like, i need to do my own show with lamar. >> jimmy: did you tell her she couldn't? >> she didn't want to. in miami, she was over it and i made her go the second time. she hated me. and then new york time she was like, i'm over it, i can't do the store again, you're on your own and kim was -- kim took over khloe's role in a weird way. khloe and i were single, par partying it up. and kim was on another level, dating, having the time of her

life. >> jimmy: and we get to watch it. >> and i'm like, i'm a mom, i don't go out anymore and kim is like, ah, we're missing each other on these -- >> jimmy: what is going on with you and your boyfriend. does the family still hate him? >> there's progress. like, last year in our christmas card, scott was not in it, ryan seacrest took scott's place. don't even ask why. i get this christmas card in the mail and ryan seacrest is in it and scott is not. >> jimmy: was ryan there with you? >> she ended up using a picture from khloe's wedding. and scott was like, i wasn't even in a wedding picture. no one asked me to be in one and so now this year scott was in the christmas card. >> jimmy: nice. >> and, like, there's little progress. now, khloe and scott can be in the same room with, like, before they would be like, if scott knew khloe was going to be there, he wouldn't come, and she wouldn't come if he was going to be there. they're definitely not calling

each other, like, i miss you so much, let's talk, like -- they don't speak -- >> jimmy: civil. do you think that the problems have anything to do with this photograph of scott, who is appare apparently using a cane now? >> the cane is amazing. >> jimmy: how frequently does he use the cane? >> okay, let's discuss the cane. he wanted -- >> jimmy: this is kane kardashian. >> seriously, he wanted the new fall fashion accessory and he is like, this is going to be my cane. and, i was saying -- >> jimmy: no. >> and so, i would say, let's go to starbucks and get a coffee and he's like, i need my cane, and, he would get the cane, he would -- if, a taxi crossing the street, he would stop me and hold the cane in front of me and he would be like, what do you want to order on the menu, or push the elevator with the cane or, he would -- he held a woman's purse who wanted to take

a photo with me, he was like, let me hold your purse and he held it with the cane. >> jimmy: unless he's gone blind, the cane is unacceptable. and what's going on here on the carousel? >> oh, my god. that is the -- crossing the legs with the magenta pants. >> jimmy: was he going as siegfried or roy? >> this was mason's fir1st birty party. i went over the top, all out. everywhere online, it says, do not go over the top. i was like, i'm going to, like, i just can't. and mason loved every second. >> jimmy: what did you do? >> we had a train, we had the carousel. that i forced scott to go on even though that picture it looks like he's enjoying it. >> jimmy: it sure does. >> we had, like, it was just a huge carnival circus. we had 100 people. i went all out. and mason loved it. he was having the time of his life. >> jimmy: so, what you're saying, is don't listen to child

advice online. >> exactly. >> jimmy: congratulations on the new show, and 11 more new shows, i would imagine -- >> 12. >> jimmy: 12 more. it's great to have you here. hope it works out with the family. that's not to be no fun at all. or they can beat him to death with the cane. >> a little drama is fun. >> jimmy: it is. as long as you have a television show. it's a lot of fun. kourtney kardashian, everybody. we'll be right back with ra ra riot. i'm going to have one of these under 550 calorie meals.

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! well, this is their new album, it's called "the orchard." here with the song "too dramatic," ra ra riot. ♪ on my black feet, i run with all my heart to black shores and rivers ♪ ♪ in spite of all i fear ♪ you're too dramatic i don't understand it don't listen when you're weary but ♪ ♪ i wanna talk about it

you and me weren't made for that i'm sure ♪ ♪ not in my house it doesn't stop for you it doesn't stop for ♪ ♪ you're too dramatic i don't understand it out of the static 'cause you're too dramatic ♪ ♪ you know i couldn't live here that way you said it before he left cincinnati just 16 ♪ ♪ oh, how does it feel, boy and though i guess that there's nothing honest honest ♪

♪ all that matters is that ♪ you're too dramatic i don't understand it out of the static you're too dramatic ♪ ♪ but the people i knew don't matter to me anymore ♪ ♪ you're too dramatic i don't understand it you're too dramatic

i don't understand it ♪ ♪ out of the static 'cause you're too dramatic ♪ u@u@u@u@u@@