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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  February 2, 2011 12:05am-1:05am PST

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chase what matters. just four more times. ♪ time now for tonight's closing argument. and the on going upheaval in egypt is the topic. the white house announced that president obama dispatched a
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former ambassador to deliver the message to the egyptian president that the status quo is not sustainable and that change must come now. this afternoon, mubarak said he will not run for president in the fall. we ask you, should the u.s. have intervened in europe? we have heard from many of you on facebook and twitter. join the consideration on abc news.com. that is our report. good night, america. hey, i'm jimmy kim met. we will mear from jamie folks and we have the latest from danish game shows.
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>> bailey? >> all right. >> correct. >> finally a game show the whole family can enjoy. why would regis host this? "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes. in order to save our civilization, we must schmeplicate with the male of your species. in exchange, we offer this... schmeplicate? bud light? [ buzzes ] here we go! i'm doing it... for all of us. [ male announcer ] it's the sure sign of a good time. the just-right taste of bud light. [ woman #1 ] the guys are gone. here we go. whoooohoo! whoooohoo! whoooohoo! [ whistle blows ] [ squishing ] [ male announcer ] pool filled with caramel. not as good as chocolate filled with caramel. introducing milky way simply caramel. life's better the milky way.
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, jamie foxx and from "fairly legal" sarah shahi. and cleto and the cletones. and now, remain seated, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. thank you for being here. thank you very watching. thank you for everything. how many of you are here tonight because it's too cold to go home? you are not able to go to your own home? anyone? [ applause ] a massive snowstorm is piling on the united states. experts say the best thing to do is hunker down. experts say do this? how is that going to help? and when you hunker, why do you have to do it down? there is a heat wave through florida. authorities are urging people to hunker up. this is a big storm and a long one. the storm stretches 2,000 miles and will leave a third of the country covered in snow. america looks like charlie
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sheen's coffee table now. and of course -- [ laughter ] folks who are hit hardest in a storm like this is the weather men. >> it will melt to rain. the cold air will keep us below the surface and that spells that nasty four-letter word, ice. >> jimmy: with two cs. meteorologists are predicting a three-day white out. no one told mother nation it's black history month. these are some of the cities that are affected. >> they removed 30en tos of ice. >> it's a thick coating of ice.
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>> hundreds of power outages. >> the temperatures now with the windchill, 8 degrees. >> with windchills here in denver, 30 degrees below zero. >> i can't more than 30 yards. >> have you stepped outside tonight? it's so chilly? >> i did. it's so cold. we are at 48 degrees now. >> we are suffering through it. >> jimmy: 48 degrees last night. the high today was 64 degrees. that was fahrenheit too. i feel bad for the kids in l.a. they don't close school. if kids in l.a. want to build a snowmen there is no snow. and the kids out here, outside the studio, they building a
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snowman of breast implants. can you hear me? >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you having fun? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what is the name? >> jimmy. >> jimmy: what is he wearing? boobies covers. >> jimmy: covers? all right. make sure you give them back to mommy when you are done. >> all right. >> jimmy: one of the most dangerous things about storms like this is the roads when they get covered with ice. headline news reporter ed lavendera, they sent him to oklahoma city to stand in the middle of the street. not the wisest place to be. >> we have heard of power
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outages in oklahoma and that can change in the coming hours. we have a stuck here that would push snow. we want to make sure they don't lose control or anything like that. >> jimmy: now he's a real life snow angel. some areas. the midwest are getting two inches of snow per hour. what happened to global warming? wasn't that supposed to kick in now? al gore is too busy dating. thousands of travelers are stuck at the airport. there is no better time to own
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stock in cinnabun. and it brings a chance to rub it in a little. >> look, it's the snuggie. you laughed when we tried to sell you one. and who is laughing now when you are freeze death, and you can think of all the people who are cozy and warm in the snuggies. you stupid idiot. here is the toll free number. don't bother calling it. it's too late. you had your chance. >> jimmy: i think the snuggie people are arrogant. in egypt, the unrest continues. is unrest a good word? it's one of the ungoodest words ever. a good way to describe it,
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people are going nuts in egypt. they tried to prevent them from seeing justin bieber. bieber fever has no ethnic boundary. it turns out, they don't walk like egyptians at all. they walk remembgular like that. they want hosni mubarak to step down by friday. they are tired of living under a brutal dictatorship and they are willing to live under a brutal islamic dictatorship. they are tired of a president named hosni. this sign, up your hosni with a
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rubber hosni. mubarak said he will retire in five years and hands the job off to conan. so he should leave. even brett favre is like, come on, man, retire. hey, those boobs are for inplanting, don't make me come out there. i don't know what they are throwing at. they don't have a lot of experience. meanwhile, things are going well in denmark. this is a clip from a danish game show. it's called total blackout. they put the contestants in total darkness. and they ask the contestants to identify a variety of items using a sense of smell.
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bay leaf? roast? swiss sock? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what happens in the bonus round? my gosh. that is a game show drew carey should be hosting. very popular amongst dogs. in reagan international airport, snooki crossed paths with charles shubert.
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she blew him off. shooki doesn't have time for every senator that wants to talk to her. is anybody surprised she didn't know who charles schumer was? she probably couldn't pick out president obama out of line of presidents. maybe she ignored him because she hooked up with him. sean diddy combs is being sued. a woman claims that diddy caused 9/11. put their child in a wheelchair and stole a poker chip with, quote, $100 zillion. he should give it back. she broke it down to $900 billion in child support and
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another $100 billion for loss of the income. sit oprah suing diddy? the federal government offered the most blunt nutrition guideline. they are warning about sugary drinks and they want us to eat less. thanks for the tip, five days for the super bowl. before i mow through a tub of wings and a bucket of nacho cheese. there are plenty of women who appreciate the hips and breasts of a full figured man. thank you very much. i don't need you to tell me what not to eat. when i have a health related question, anyone does, there is
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one source we turn to and that is dr. uncle frank. >> dr. uncle frank here happy to keep you healthy. the first question of the day is from philip in wichita, kansas. which food is the worst? the worst is vegetables. i can't digest vegetables. too many colors. sweets help me. i'm 77 like a 42-year-old ex-soldier. [ applause ] >> jimmy: 42-year-old. and one more thing, all this going on, i wouldn't feel right without at least briefly updating you on the charlie
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sheen information. you might think with the stories of drugs and porn stars, his show would suffer. you could not be more correct. "two and a half men" was the most watched show on television last night. and it was a rerun. and other networks are trying to get their own piece of the action. >> he's got family a job and one bad habit. andy dick is -- crack dad. >> get out of me! get him off of me. >> crack dad tuesdays on fox. >> jimmy: yeah, followed by a new heroin town.
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we have a great show, sarah shahi is here and we will be back with jamie foxx. so stick around. [ male announcer ] at&t introduces a new windows phone. with beauty... ♪ ...and brains. now get a samsung focus™ for only $99.99. only from at&t. rethink possible. you probably feel that only a doctor can give you certainty about your pregnancy. clearblue digital is as accurate as a doctor's test, because it uses the same technology, for an unmistakably clear result. giving you confidence when you need it most. clearblue digital. when you need it most.
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>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on the show, from "fairly legal" on usa network -- a former dallas cowboy cheerleader. turned star. so make sure everyone is smiling really hard when she comes out. sarah shahi is here. tomorrow night, josh brolin, will be here. camille grammer from "the real housewives of beverly hills," and music from tinie tempah. on thursday, kim kardashian will join us -- along with alex trebek. and music from one eskimo. is it one eskimo?
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our first guest is a platinum-selling recording artist by night, and an oscar winning actor by day. his newest record is called "best night of my life." it looks just like this. please say hello to the shy but likeable jamie foxx. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how you are you? >> so pumped. i saw you. now, it's a plethora of people in here. a lot of caucasians. do you know that was a soul clap you were doing? give me a soul clap.
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[ applause ] all right, right. it's black history month. you right on time. y'all always do that. we don't do that anymore. i got it, jamie. i got it. we do this now. we do this. >> jimmy: that is one of those things you see a guy will have learned that and he continues doing it at every wedding. >> won't get it go. like at basketball games, the dance cam. >> jimmy: do you celebrate black history month? >> even if i eat sushi, i fry it. >> jimmy: nice. [ laughter ] >> all black, everything. everything is fried. i eat chicken just out in public. just -- get all of that. and too, a lot of white girls,
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they like to go out with me and i said, listen, for 28 days i can't. no white girls for 28 days. >> jimmy: that is quite a sacrifice. >> and i have to schedule them in march which is st. patrick's day. >> jimmy: dr. king is smiling on you now. >> i have a dream black boys will get together and have baby -- kidding. you know that is going to on youtube. >> jimmy: it's a dream. sometimes you dream weird things. you won an acaddemy award acros the street from here.
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[ applause ] where do you keep it? >> i contindon't keep it with m. i have a lot of friends that don't have a social security number. even when i won the oscar, i didn't go to the vanity fair -- i went to kick with it the homeys. i went to the party and they took the trophy out of my hands and i lost the trophy for 45 minutes. and over in the corner, i think people were smoking medicinal. and he was like, man, i got contact. and you know how he is like this. and by the time he got through my friends, he was like this. >> jimmy: he turned into the heisman.
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it's probably for the best you don't have it in the house then. >> they filed a complaint. >> jimmy: when you hear about charl ch charlie sheen, that is like -- >> that just a thursday for me. a couple hookers and cocaine. that is -- just kidding. >> jimmy: more than a couple hookers. >> that is tough though. it's tough when you party like that. i hope charlie gets it together. it's tough, shout out. i hope you get it together. >> jimmy: yeah. well said. >> no, i'm serious. you party, you hang out. >> jimmy: my parties have candling and cake. they are not that good. no. >> i saw you out though. >> jimmy: i saw you at dinner. >> can you imagine being out
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with jimmy kimmel and chris rock. how funny is that? what? [ applause ] soul clap. >> jimmy: one more shout out to charlie sheen for the heck of the it. >> did he go to rehab? >> jimmy: i heard he is going in his house. >> house hab. >> jimmy: i think it's interesting. you won an an ccademy award. you had a successful usmusic career. and i can't think of -- the blues brothers. >> eddie murphy.
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♪ my girl wants to party off the time ♪ i know what you mean. you sing and do jokes. earlier in my career, i did a character called wanda on "in living color." we are doing a movie on that. martin lawrence. he is going to play shanana and i'm going to play wanda. and it was hard to go -- i had to sort of get away from that. and what happened was, the way i got back into music, a kid walks in my place. i'm throwing a party for puffy. and puff is like a crystal and
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bentley tsunami. and i'm throwing a party and a kid walks on with a backpack and his jaw was messed up. and kanye west comes to my crib and says i have a song. and you said, i need to hear you rap. and he rapped and i said that sis incredible. and i said, she says he wants marvin gaye and he is like, don't put the r&b sauce on it. and he said, sing it. and after it sung it, said this song ain't got no sauce on it. and i left and did a bad movie. i came back after my career was on life support. and when i got back, i went to miami and they said, you know that song you fronted on.
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it's number one. and it went from that to -- ♪ she took my money when i'm in need ♪ that is how i got back into it. >> jimmy: that is really unbelievable. you don't know kanye at the time. i like how he is ordering you around with his backpack on. >> yeah, but, you know what? he was a kid then. and he was a little nervous about his career. jay-z was in. and puff was in. and you know, now -- >> jimmy: yeah, you get all the big guys to sing on the album. justin timberlake is on there. ti is on there. >> yeah, t.i. >> jimmy: do you call the guys
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to ask them -- >> rick ross,rr, i'm the biggest fan. i like rick ross because he says my name and he always puts an "s" on the end of it. he say, foxx-s. but the way i get them, i promise them they are going be in movies. >> jimmy: and have you come through on any of the movies pr promises? >> i'm waiting for the movies to get written. >> jimmy: i want to see you and martin lawrence in dresses sitting at lunch. >> or god forbid we are mad. didn't i tell you -- oh, my breast, please, double stick. women go through that.
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>> jimmy: you are doing a stretch comedy show. >> got a show. anybody want jokes or laughs? [ applause ] >> jimmy: will you be on the show? . >> i will be on the show here and there. and i have a guest, athon crockett. you will be clapping and know. he is a genius. and jonathan kipe. and listen, we go for it. when you see me dressed as mo'nique and gabby sibide, we are going. and you say, hey, sisters, hey. yes, baby. yes!
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[ cheers and applause ] yes, baby, yes. >> jimmy: well, i have to say -- >> the black girls like that. >> mo'nique is like, this is oprah, baby, i don't shave my legs. i'm going to tell you right now. yes. >> jimmy: well, i tell you what, you have blossomed into a very fine young woman. you have. that is jamie's new album. "best night of my life" is available now. you are going to do songs? we'll be right back with sarah shahi. [ female announcer ] experience dual-action power,
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>> jimmy: we're back. still to come, music from jamie jax. our next guest is one of very few former dallas cowboys cheerleaders to go on to a successful career in television. i think rachel maddow is the only other one. her show is called "fairly legal." watch it thursday nights at 10:00 on usa. please welcome sarah shahi.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for coming. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: i'm surprised jamie foxx let you come out here. >> he did warm up the audience. >> jimmy: did i pronounce it? >> yeah, shahi. that is not my original. >> jimmy: what is? >> it's ahu jahasu shahi. >> jimmy: and why did you change it? >> it's funny you asked. in school, i got tormented. >> jimmy: i would have been one of the tormenters.
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>> they called me, yoo hoo. and i was yahoo! before there was one. and i came with one before there once. and i came with up achoo. yeah that is me. and i was in the car with my mom. >> jimmy: how old? >> 8. >> jimmy: that young? >> yeah. and i was in the second grade and i said, i want to be vicky from "small wonder." and then the jefferson starship song was on. and sara. and i was like, anything.
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>> jimmy: good thing it wasn't sister star ship. >> it took me a year to figure out where i "h" went. >> jimmy: the "h" is optional. just tell people, the "h" is for hot. that is your line. and then, how did you get -- how and why do you become a dallas cowboys cheerleader? >> i was in a musical in smu and i always wanted to be an actress. don't know how to do it. there was a girl who said, why don't you try out for a dallas cowboys cheerleader. she said, they were on saturday night live back in 1995 and i figured, that is my way in. and i tried out, made the team.
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haven't been on "saturday night live" yet. >> jimmy: you play a lawyer? >> a recovering lawyer. and she is a mediator. and it's like "law and order" meets "sex and the city." and it could be like your favorite show. like your favorite show. >> jimmy: like "sopranos". >> my told me at a young age there is no difference between your hand and a boob.
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>> jimmy: let's have a shake first. what? wait a minute [ laughter ] there is no difference between your hand and your boob? high five. really? [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: is your mom crazy? please explain this. >> okay, my mom was trying to get across the point that if you got it, should you be proud of it. flaunt it. you are not doing it when you are 83. she wouldn't let me buy a bra when i was a kid. she felt it hindered the growth. >> jimmy: we have one of the snowman. she felt it hindered the growth.
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wow, i like that. >> i was the girl that would wear seven t-shirts in p.e. class. and i developed early and got tormented along with the name. it was a disaster. so, yeah, no, i got invited to my first boy and girl birthday party and i wear a baggy t-shirt and jeans and she is like, that is not my daughter. and i put on a daisy dukes and jeans and she is like, that's my girl. i was 10. >> jimmy: did your mom dress like that? >> yes, she does. you know what? she wanted to come. she left for texas tonight. she would have been here. >> jimmy: you go and get the
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lasso out and we will have her teach the world. it's great to meet you. congratulations on the success of the show. the show is called "fairly legal." we'll be back with jamie foxx. when the 2011 jeep grand cherokee drives off road, the quadro lift air suspension raises the vehicle, making it more capable, off road. and if you happen to be driving on road, it lowers it for better handling and fuel efficiency, on road. including your skin.
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>> jimmy: here with the title track from his latest cd, "best night of my life," here is jamie foxx. >> "jimmy kimmel live," coming to you all. ♪ girl can i be real i just want to feel on your booty that's not a big deal ♪ ♪ shawty you drinkin on that martini i wanna see you in a bikini or better yet a thong ♪ ♪ baby what's wrong trying to tell your girls what's you purpose of this song ♪ ♪ oh i want you closer like a model of a poster i want to get ya to the car to the crib up the stairs ♪ ♪ to the bed in the morning you'll be cooking us eggs ♪ ♪ oh baby i love the smell of your perfume and if we were kids i'd be breaking curfew ♪ ♪ to stay up with you ♪ you gon need a scarf
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wrap your head 'cause it's gon get wild if we keep lovin like this ♪ ♪ we might make a child a daughter a son whichever one girl you're second to none ♪ ♪ i'm feeling good i'm having fun this is the best night of my life we ♪ ♪ off the patron and both of us gone girl this gon be the best night of my life ♪ ♪ you coulda been anywhere in the world but you're right here with me girl ♪ ♪ and if we go home and make love this could be the best night of your life ♪ ♪ so girl let me ask you a question while we're sipping bub are you going home with me ♪ ♪ after the club that's a yes or a no i'm just letting ya know where this night can go ♪ ♪ and girl i'm hoping you could see things my way cause i just want your love to stay tonight tonight ♪ ♪ i could be your bartender tell me what you're sippin
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on girl i'm not a travel agent so what you ♪ ♪ i'm fighting good this is the best night of my life ♪ >> ladies and gentlemen, you are watching the best. ♪ if we go home and make love it will be the best night of your life ♪ ♪ this could be this could be the best night of your life ♪ ♪ this could be the best night of your life ♪
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note this could be the best night of your life ♪ ♪ the best night of your life the best night of your life ♪ ♪ the best night the best night the best night of your -- ♪ivivv
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